06x13 - The Beach House

[bunniefuu]

Ruxin: Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!

It feels good to be back.

Pete: Oh, God.

But maybe I won't win.

I mean, who am I playing in the Shiva Bowl this year?

We've known him as Tefl-Andre, because nothing sticks to him, but you know what is going to stick to him?

The ropes and ropes of yogurt that I will cover his face with.

(groaning)

Andre is going to walk away from this Shiva Bowl loss looking like he got in an accident at a custard factory.

Kevin: Unnecessary.

And so, the terrible reign of Ruxin begins anew!

(cackling)

What are you doing?

Oh.

Is this that stupid league of yours again?

(laughter)

Yeah, I'm just making a video because I'm in the finals.

Ooh.

What do you want, a trophy?

We do have a trophy.

It's the Shiva.

It's this lndian girl that we went to high school...

Who cares?!

It's an eight-team league full of morons.

Congratulations.

You're king of the dipshits.

Get back to work.

Yeah, I just got to...

Get back to work!

(whispering): I'm gonna be the champion.

Work!

I'm the champion.

Seriously, you're gonna hang that right there?

Jenny: Yeah, don't worry.

I got one for you, too.

And sadly, it might be just as appropriate next year.

Well, 'tis the season for an all-MacArthur Sacko Bowl.

No, no, no, don't look at me.

It's all right here.

I cannot believe that I'm in the Sacko again.

Taco: Yeah, my strategy didn't work too well, either.

You mean not changing your lineup from the beginning of the season regardless of byes, match-ups or injuries?

(phones chirping)

An e-mail from the estate of Ted Rappaport?

Oh, sh*t. Here, pull it up.

Hello, my name is Fredrick Mandino, and I represent the estate of the late Theodore Rappaport.

Mr. Rappaport left his Laguna Beach house to the winner of your fantasy football league, and as your Shiva Bowl has arrived, he wanted you to see what you were playing for.

All: Whoa!

Oh, my God.

I would leave my family for that house.

I would take your family for that house.

I have also sent you some plane tickets, as Mr. Rappaport felt that since you were playing for the house, you should be staying at the house.

What?!

Holy sh*t, we're all flying to California.

Hold on, I have to check my calendar.

Mr. Rappaport then instructed me to make a series of very obscene gestures which, for professional reasons and some personal reasons, I would prefer not to do over electronic media.

Looks like we are going on a Shiva Bowl road trip!

Yeah, I'm free.

Andre: F-First class?

Yeah, I used my miles from Korea to upgrade.

Hey, can I use your bathroom?

If you use our bathroom, I got to call the air marshal.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm good.

Wasn't it so thoughtful of Ted to get Shiva her own seat?

Can I have Shiva's peanuts?

No!

Andre, what are you doing in coach?

You always fly first class.

Well, after the debacle at Ménage à Cinq, money's been a little bit tight.

So I figured I'd fly coach.

It's not that bad at all.

I mean, what, do I get the champagne in the back?

Yeah.

Okay, sounds great.

All right, let's get onboard here. Who do we want to win this beach house?

All: Andre.

Yeah, I feel that.

If Ruxin wins, it'll be nicer, but we won't have access.

If Andre wins, it'll be super douchey, but we can do whatever we want with it.

And if I win, I'll let you guys use it sometimes.

You can't. You're out.

Well, I'm not giving up, guys.

You are mathematically eliminated.

And if I do win, I'm gonna open a second location in Laguna Beach, the EBDBBnB LB.

That's the spirit, Taco.

Why is anyone pretending this is a back massager?

Hello, sir. Can I get you a meal order tonight?

Yes, please.

Can I have the chicken piccata?

I'm so sorry.

We just gave the last one away.

The salmon's delicious, though.

It has a pink peppercorn sauce.

I'll just have the chicken piccata, please.

I'm so sorry.

We just don't have enough for everyone to have their first choice.

What about the pilots?

Are they just gonna be given soda and imitation Chex Mix?

No, of course they get a meal.

And they're both having the salmon?

Um, no.

One is and the other...

Is having the piccata?

Well, so I'm gonna go talk to the pilot and see if he'll switch with me.

Oh, sir, no, you can't.

The seat belt sign is on, and besides, he's very busy.

He's flying the plane.

That's right, he is flying the plane.

So he doesn't want to be concentrating on something as silly as what he's eating for dinner.

No, I guess not.

So maybe in this particular case, he's gonna have the salmon?

What do I tell him?

I would just tell him, "I'm sorry, but we don't have enough for everybody to get their first choice."

Okay.

Thank you.

Now, that was impressive.

Oh, that was nothing.

Can I ask what you do?

I'm a corporate lawyer, but I'm getting a little tired of being a concierge of evil.

Well, maybe I can help.

I'm Tom Condon.

Tom Condon, super agent, Tom Condon?

Represents Drew Brees, Eli Manning and Peyton Manning, Tom Condon?

You know, we're always looking out for new talent, and if you can negotiate with teams the way you did with that flight attendant, we may have something to talk about.

As a matter of fact, why don't you stop by my office while you're on the coast.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Psst, Ruxin.

Get out of here, you flight urchin.

Ruxin.

Take a cookie, go.

Ooh!

Oh, God, it's right on the beach.

Well, welcome, everyone.

Glad to have you here, if only to fulfill the wishes of a great man, Mr. Theodore Rappaport.

And he left specific instructions that I be here for the weekend to monitor the Shiva Bowl to make sure that no funny business occurs.

Oh, I can assure you, as commissioner of this league, there has never been any funny business.

There was a negotiation of a man's prison sentence as you exchanged number one draft picks?

I plead the Fifth.

Allegedly.

You have abused the Make-A-

Wish Foundation so that Josh Cribbs would help your team.

You know, I have one thing to say to that.

Cribbs!

All: Cribbs!

Crabs!

Taco, you impersonated a notary public, ran a brothel and illegally imported and exported Three Penis wine.

And, Kevin, I believe you ingested Mr. Rappaport's medicinal cocktail in order to gain a quote-unquote, "AIDS-vantage."

Are there any more questions?

May I use the restroom?

Yes.

Thank you.

Hi, Kevin.

(squeals)

How do you like the place?

Ted! Wait, no, you're, uh...

Smarter than you.

Uh...

Better looking?

No, you're...

More money, more successful.

No, you're dead. You're dead.

Oh, correct.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, this-this cannot be happening.

But much like your low T and terrible fantasy lineup, here we are.

If you really are a ghost, then I want a sign.

Why does everybody feel like they have to make the dead guy jump through hoops?

You're so tedious, man.

Here.

(car horn honking)

Keep me a secret.

I'll be back tonight.

Okay.

How much did you see in here?

I came in at the scratching.

That's okay.

(honking continues)

Whoa!

(all groaning)

This place is the tits!

What the hell is he doing here?

Mr. Rappaport's will stipulated that Rafi also be flown out.

Oh, God, he's screwing us from beyond the grave.

Hey, Brian!

Put this in our room.

(shouting)

Where you going?

(laughs)

That dumb dildo left us his cab.

Rafi, why did the bag make a squish?

Oh, it's full of chicken livers.

You mash them all together, and then you have sex with them.

It mimics the consistency of a human vag*na.

I'm gonna be banging that bag all weekend, bro.

Squish, squish, splurt.

This is not the sign I was looking for.

So you're really gonna take this meeting with Tom Condon?

Yeah, I'm sick of working for that corn-fed monster Bethesda anymore, and I'm not going back to Korea.

I win the league, get a new house, get a new job, new beginning.

Yeah, are you gonna bring the whole family out?

What's that now?

Your family, Sofia, Geoffrey.

Does she even know you're here with us?

She knows that I'm on a work trip, which it now turns out, I am.

Wow.

So looking back, I've been very straightforward with her.

Great sports agent.

You guys notice anything weird about this house?

I saw Rafi pissing in my chest of drawers, but that's not really out of the ordinary.

Oh, Tall Guy, when am I gonna stop hearing about this?

I told you, I'm afraid of new toilets, so I Goldilocksed all the new drawers in the house, and yours was just right.

Anyone run across my brother at all today?

Oh, you mean Tac Cousteau?

Yeah, he's out fishing on the pier, trying to get us some dinner.

What? I'll be back.

Bye.

I hope he catches the Little Mermaid, right?

You ever seen anything as sexy as that?

Well, when they have the tail, I'm not sure that you can do what you want to do there.

Oh, they've got fish biz down there, okay?

And all I want is to get involved with fish biz.

(chuckles)

All right.

Oh, here comes Andre.

Whew!

Hey, Andre.

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey.

We actually have something we want to talk to you about.

All right, yeah, what do you got?

I would like to offer you my personal advice on your fantasy lineup.

Me, too.

Really?

But when you win, I get use of this beach house one month a year.

I also get use for a month, and it has to be a summer month.

Ooh, I want a summer month.

Yeah, it's totally fine.

I mean, there's plenty of room in there.

You take the top, I'll take the bottom, whatever.

Yeah, no, I was thinking you probably wouldn't be there.

Yeah, more of a solo thing.

Yeah.

Okay, yes, yes.

All right.

I want your advice.

Here you go.

All right.

(chuckles) I like that.

Right?

I like that.

Of course I'm playing Antonio Gates as tight end.

Pictures.

Oh! Bikini sh*t, huh?

What?

Jenny bikini sh*t.

Stop it, Andre.

I was packing. Give it to me.

You don't look through someone else's phone.

You just handed it to me.

It's like going through someone's medicine cabinet, Andre!

I can look through people's medicine cabinets. I'm a doctor.

No, you can't!

Enough, enough.

You guys, come here.

Think about the match-ups.

It's good, right?

Oakland, I mean, come on.

What if I...

See this?

Yeah, yeah, of course. Yes!

Right?

I smell collusion.

I never would've...

(sighs)

Hey, Taco, I've got to talk to you about the Sacko Bowl.

Oh, hey, brother.

I can't win the Sacko for two years in a row, okay?

I can't be hammered like that again.

Yeah, you definitely can't.

That's gonna be bad.

Well, that's why I need your help, all right? You got to...

You got to take a dive.

What do you mean, take a dive?

I need you to lose on purpose.

You need me to cheat.

It's not really cheating, Taco.

I mean, you don't even care about this league.

I don't care about this league, but there's one thing I do care about.

And that's you.

You've never really done anything with your life.

Your career isn't working, your marriage isn't working, and your d*ck's not even working.

My d*ck is back to normal, okay?

Oh, that is nothing to brag about.

Part of this is my fault.

What?

I've been too easy on you.

But no more.

I am gonna try my very hardest to b*at you this week.

I am gonna make you work for this win.

You need to toughen up, you little bitch!

What?

I-I'm a tough guy!

I am!

(scoffs)

My God, why did I think this was gonna work?

(growling)

(screams)

What the sh*t?!

What are you doing, Taco?!

I'm doing this because I love you, brother.

And don't sh*t in the water, Seabiscuit.

I'm not Seabiscuit!

One snuck out on impact.

Hi, Kevin.

You look real stupid when you sleep.

(gasps)

Is this real?

You guys make a nice couple.

(groans)

I need you to come with me.

Up there?

Up?

Oh, buddy.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm a good person.

Okay. To the balcony.

Oh.

Yeah. Let's go.

Okay.

Just take a quick look at your wife.

What? Hey, hey, hey, no!

Relax, okay?

I'm not gonna give her ghost AIDS.

Ghost AIDS?

You guys can't catch a break.

So Taco's gonna go for it against you.

He's got a good enough team.

I don't want to be the Sacko.

I don't, not two years in a row.

I'm gonna help you win, but you got to do something for me.

What can I do for you?

I want one more prank on these guys.

Why?

Why? You drafted on my embalmed body, you knocked over the coffin, you had sex at my funeral.

Nope, nobody had sex, because nobody came.

Penetration is sex.

No, I just put the tip in.

Kevin, you're all tip.

That's not cool, man.

So you gonna do this for me or not?

Yes, what do you want to do?

I'm thinking something fun, and I'm just spit balling, but I heard Andre talking about his cat.

Can't do that.

We already did that one.

You don't watch everything up there?

I'm not gonna watch Andre.

Oh. Hey, do you guys play fantasy football?

I'm in a 14-team fantasy league with Gandhi and the Ultimate Warrior, yeah.

No way.

There's no bye-weeks.

Your best players never get injured.

Heaven.

You're not going.

Are you in or out?

I'll do it, but I want to win first.

I couldn't care less.

Great. Pranks.

We could...

Brian?

Hey! (chuckles)

Hey.

Oh, what are you doing out here, man?

If you must know, I'm talking to Ted's ghost.

I get that, man.

I've been talking to a gremlin for an hour in my room.

All right, well, anyway, Ted wanted me to pull a prank on everyone...

I'm in. You had me at prank.

You don't even know what we're gonna do.

I don't care. I'm in.

I want to do it with you.

Prank bros.

Okay, well, here's what I was thinking.

We get everyone together in a group for a picture here, and then we get someone up here with a bucket...

Oh, I'll be the bucket guy.

You sure?

Brian, look at me in my eyes.

I will take care of this.

Fine. I'm gonna go to bed.

All right. Let's go.

Great. No.

Why?

Just be by yourself.

Enjoy the scenery.

Okay, look.

You know what? (groans)

I'm probably gonna put my d*ck in this beach.

All right, fine. Get crabs.

(chuckles) Joke's on you.

I'm gonna give this beach crabs.

Ooh, you sexy bitch.

♪
♪

California Shiva Blast!

Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!

(whooping)

This is the life.

It looks just like her.

I am gonna miss you. (kisses)

Look, I'm diligent, I'm detail-oriented, and I don't think you will find someone with better bathroom etiquette.

How's your office small talk?

Keep it under a minute.

No TV spoilers, no pictures of kids, we're done.

What do you think, Tom?

I like him.

I like him, too.

As a matter of fact, we could use somebody with your corporate experience in our legal department, and then we can segue you into the agent business.

Great. I'll just pick up and start tomorrow, if you want.

I will tell you this.

Our clients are our most important asset.

This isn't fantasy football.

As a matter of fact, we don't play fantasy football here.

You don't play fantasy football here?

No, we don't play fantasy football.

Good. I don't play fantasy football.

I am a football purist.

You know, some people play in an eight-team league?

How sad is that?

I mean, fantasy football's pathetic, and an eight-team league, sad.

Sad.

Guys!

Guys, oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

I lost the Shiva!

All: What?

We were having a beautiful afternoon on the beach, sitting, enjoying the sun, and then this rogue wave just came and just crashed over us, and it pulled us out, and I swam and I swam. And then another wave came, and it knocked me down, and then I lost her.

She's just out to sea.

The sea has taken Shiva.

Jesus.

I don't believe this.

I'm on the verge of winning, and you lose the Shiva.

I'm sorry! It's terrible!

Babe, babe, listen.

It's terrible!

It's okay, all right?

I'll just go grab the Sacko, throw it in the ocean, start...

No, no!

No.

Why?

Oh, God, what are we gonna do?

I guess the house is the new Shiva.

Oh.

That's not bad, yeah.

Yeah, Shiva Komedi Somakana-casa.

And by the way, Kevin, I'm fine!

Oh, God! Oh!

Oh, my God, is that alive?

It's seaweed.

Is it alive, though?

You know, before we hire you, we want to see how you interact with the clients.

Great, I'm a real people person.

Future first-ballot Hall-of-Famer, Antonio Gates.

How you doing?

Hey, nice to meet you.

Haven't we met before?

Met before?

You're an angry little man.

Yeah, I'm about to get angry all up in your face.

Yeah? Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah!

Nope, not that I recall.

You look familiar.

Yeah, I got one of those faces, but, um...

You're good.

Take a seat there, buddy.

Tone, take it easy on him.

We like this guy.

No problem.

You gonna come back real soon?

You said your name was Ruxin?

Well, everybody calls me Rodney.

Yeah, but we've met.

Hey, big game this week, huh, against the Niners?

Big game, absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a big week, and yet, you know, you got to save yourself for the playoffs.

In this league, you can't do that.

You got to kind of play it every week, every single week.

'Cause you never know.

Maybe...

Maybe let the wide receivers get a TD or two.

Like, throw Keenan Allen a bone.

I've marked this on my calendar.

I need to have a big week this week.

Maybe next week.

No, I got to play big this week.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Enough about me.

Tell me something about you.

You got a family?

Yeah, I got a wife and kid.

Kid's not bad.

He's actually a pretty solid little athlete.

Early developer, home run hitter.

Cute kid, cute kid.

He is a cute kid, yeah.

It's really kind of bad etiquette to go through someone's phone.

Oh, fantasy player, huh?

What's that now?

Ruxin Roll.

Get your Rux off.

Yeah, it's just pun stuff just to keep the mind nimble.

Hm.

I remember you.

You're that angry little man that tried to throw a punch at me.

(gasps) That's how I know you.

You were mad at me because I dropped a 40 burger on your team.

I'm a different guy now.

I don't even play fantasy football anymore, so.

So I guess, you know, you wouldn't mind if I started dropping a couple players, huh?

It wouldn't bother you.

Hm-mmm.

Get rid of Drew Brees.

Drew Brees.

Get rid of Dez Bryant.

Yeah, 'cause he's not having a big year at all.

Yeah, Peyton Manning.

If you were saying you were gonna get rid of Papa John's, I might stop you, but I don't care.

Chris Johnson.

You can actually get rid of Chris Johnson if you want.

Get rid of Jamaal Charles, huh?

Yeah, you don't need him.

Yeah, I don't need him.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

No! No!

Drew Brees, gone.

Not Drew!

Tom Brady...

Please don't do this to me.

Gone.

How can you hold me back with one arm?

How's everything going in here, guy...

Hey, what the hell is going on?

Guys, this is exactly what it looks like.

(sighs)

Are you kidding me?

Come on, it is beautiful outside, and you guys are just sitting here, glued to your computers.

Let's go to the beach.

No, I'm good.

Leave us alone.

(groans) God, you guys are like couch mushrooms.

Taco, you should probably hit the beach with Jenny.

No, I'm good, brother.

Got to set the best lineup possible, because I love you.

Okay, I'm gonna take Victor Cruz out, 'cause I just noticed he's injured.

Victor Cruz has been injured since week six.

Final poll.

I need a D.

Miami or the Titans v.

Jacksonville?

Miami.

Ooh, good one.

Titans.

Good, good, good.

Titans for sure.

I don't take advice from Sackos.

Ooh, hey, Rafi, got to pick a D.

Trying to think, Miami or Titans?

D? What, like a d*ck?

Forget this.

Which is the biggest d*ck?

Don't worry about it.

I'm gonna pick Miami. Miami.

Thank you very much.

Well, I can't believe this, but the games are about to start.

I love this West Coast thing.

I know, life begins at 10:00 a.m.

All right, the Shiva Bowl Championship lineup has been set.

Time for a beer to celebrate.

Uh, you realize your winning lineup has yet to be saved?

What's that?

Well, you tinkered, you stinkered, but you forgot to press "set lineup."

Oh, very funny.

Oh, no joke.

They're kicking off.

What?! No!

(laughter)

Kickoff.

I pressed it, I pressed it, I pressed it.

No, I pressed "set lineup."

No, I don't see it submitted, Ruxin.

You pressed it too late.

Lineups lock when the kickoff happens. Sorry.

Commissioner, I set my lineup.

You saw me set my lineup.

Ruxin, you know how this works.

Yeah, I know exactly how this works.

All you parasites collude against me, and then just when it matters most, you screw me.

Your finger colluded against you.

No, your outfit colluded against you.

You look like a European p*rn extra.

Hey, babe, did you see these super cute pictures your mom sent of the kids?

They are so cute.

Oh, my God, I'd love to see the kids.

Cutie, cutie, so cute.

No, that's not my...

Oh, what's this?

The e-mail from Andre to the group about splitting up the house.

You joking me?

This is collusion!

(shouting)

We talk about what we want to talk about.

We split the house.

That doesn't mean we're colluding against you.

So, the, uh, Shiva Bowl is underway?

Yeah, the Shiva Bowl's underway, because they're colluding against me, which means we've officially begun.

You can't take someone's phone and go through their pictures.

You can't take anything.

(shouting)

Everybody, please, quiet!

...Potato chip.

This is exactly as Mr.

Rappaport predicted.

You people cannot stop acting like animals, so I am prepared for this.

I am bringing in the perfect person to make a ruling.

Everyone, I would like you to meet Mike Pereira, former head of NFL Officiating.

Yeah, we know who he is.

We watch him on TV every week.

What are you doing here?

Ted-Ted was a good man.

I'm just here to help him with his final wishes.

I don't know how to tell you this, but Ted d*ed.

Okay, well, I have, uh, filled Mike in on everything that's transpired thus far this morning.

Well, I can tell you right now that I pressed the submit button.

My finger crossed the plane.

Okay, well, let's go under the hood and review it.

It's a kitchen hood.

Hey, respect the stripes.

I'm trying to respect the stripe on your stupid hat.

Hey, I see a finger smudge here.

That's the one.

That's my print.

That's my fingerprint.

I got to mark it.

Got to get my chains out.

After reviewing the play, Ruxin failed to reach the submit lineup button when the finger was down.

You lose your challenge.

Send it to New York.

I am New York.

We're not gonna send anywhere.

What are you, crazy?

You know what, I'm throwing my red challenge flag, because these people have been colluding against me.

I went on her phone, and I saw proof they were gonna split this house amongst themselves.

You want to know how he saw that?

He grabbed my phone and went through all the pictures like a grubby raccoon.

You went through her phone?

It doesn't matter how I got the information.

I got the information that they were colluding. Red flag.

It does matter.

The rules of society, my friend.

If you are looking at a phone and somebody gives it to you to look at a photo, you look at that photo only.

You don't scroll up and down.

You don't look at other e-mails.

You don't open other apps.

You know what that's called?

Illegal scrolling.

Yeah, illegal scrolling.

I like that.

Scrolling.

We're picking up the flag for collusion and you, my friend, lose your second challenge.

Yes!

I want to bring back the replacement refs!

Oh, sure, everybody says that.

Well, congratulations, Andre.

You're a Shiva Bowl Champion.

(cheering)

You can just sign here, and then the house will be yours.

That's right.

Okay, thank you so much.

You, uh, you all disgust me.

And you perhaps most of all.

You do not deserve this.

Congratulations.

(laughs)

Shiva Bowl Champ!

I won! I won!

No, we won.

Now let's talk some months, buddy.

(groans)

You all lost.

You're all losers.

A pax on all of your homes.

I think you mean pox, Ruxin.

No, I mean that the only cable network you all should get is PAX.

I don't get it.

This is not the lineup I set.

Oh, Taco, lose with a little dignity.

Stop whining.

No, I'm telling you, it's different.

It's not the lineup I set.

I wonder what could've happened.

I wonder what could've happened.

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you, Shiva!

Oh, well.

A win's a win, I guess.

Yes, it is.

A win is a win.

You earned it.

I know, I did.

Yeah.

I'm proud of you, brother.

Thank you.

Come on.

Well, not proud, just less embarrassed.

No, no.

That's interesting.

Come on.

No. Family functions only.

Okay, sorry.

Stop it.

This is not a family function.

Sit down.

Hey, don't you have something to do?

Yes.

Uh, all right, I would like to do a league photo on the lower balcony, so just get everyone together.

Meet me over there, okay?

Guys, I have a quick announcement to make.

I was just talking to Mike Pereira, and I think I'm gonna become a ref.

What?

Think about it.

Look, I love to be in a position of power arbitrarily, I love having people listen to me and do what I say even if I happen to be wrong, and I'll never have to say I'm sorry again.

It's kind of like my calling.

And the stripes are pretty slimming, too.

I don't really care about that.

You should.

Thank you, Jenny.

Well, on that note, please come with me down to the beach.

Oh, boy.

Might need some of that.

Rafi, hey, come on!

It's time for the prank.

Rafi?

(grunting)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Huh?

Wait, what's all this?

Allow me to introduce you to my two favorite pranksters, gasoline and kerosene.

No! Why do you have all this stuff?

For the prank.

I told you I'd take care of it.

You're gonna light them on fire?!

It's a prank!

No, I want you to take water and pour it onto their heads.

Brian, water puts out fire.

How do you not know this?

Oh, my God, you are adorable.

(chuckles)

I don't think you know how pranks work.

The year of the Dre begins now.

We'll put aside our petty disagreements, and, in the words of Taylor Swift, we will just shake it off.

(booing)

Okay, in the spirit of good sportsmanship, I present a message to you, my fellow league-mates.

Enjoy!

(chuckles)

Ooh!

Wow, that's pretty cool.

(laughter, cheering)

Hey!

Suck it?

(groaning)

Come on!

You stole my saying.

I co-opted it.

In the year of the Dre, I say suck it.

What are we supposed to suck, Andre?

The butthole.

We're supposed to suck your butthole?

No, everyone's butthole.

We have to suck everyone's butthole?

It's my butthole.

Fine, suck my butthole.

So you made some fireworks so that we could all suck your butthole?

Yes, it's a punishment.

When you've been bad, you have to suck the butthole.

So when everybody's saying "suck it," you think we're talking about buttholes, just to be clear?

What else would you be talking about?

What about dicks?

Why would you even do that?

Ew, ew, ew.

Have you ever gotten a blow job?

Yeah, I've had a blow job.

You've had one?

Andre.

What, I've had plenty of...

You're lying, first of all, but you've had your butthole sucked on?

Yeah, it's second base.

You think that's what second base is?

What? It's not?

I do not want you to light our friends and family on fire!

Brian, this is what taking care of it is.

No, I don't want you to handle this prank.

You are now out of this prank game.

Brian, just smell this.

No! Put that down!

It's hilarious.

That is the opposite of what I want you to do.

Brian, why are you ruining this prank?

How does this thing play out in your mind, okay?

You pour gasoline on our friends, and then what?

We light them on fire!

And they're like, "Oh, my God!

Rafi and Brian pranked us!"

(laughs)

No, they won't be laughing, because they'll be on fire!

Of course they're gonna be on fire, and yes, they're gonna die, but then we're gonna bury their remains under this house where we will live for the rest of our days as best friends!

Hilarious prank!

What?

Oh, sh*t.

(chuckles) Oh, boy.

Reverse prank.

I'm out of here!

I don't need you guys, okay?

You know what, this is the year of the Dre!

Andre, look behind you!

I'm not gonna look behind me.

I'm gonna look ahead, to the future!

Andre, you're on fire.

I am on fire with winning.

I'm unstoppable now!

We made a mistake!

Get back!

Awesome prank!

Oh, God!

Watch this!

It's gonna be hilarious!

(screaming)

Yes!

Pranked! Pranked!

Yeah!

Whoa!

Shiva!

Hey, I thought she was washed out to sea.

Oops.

My beach house.

You stupid assholes.

No way, dead guy.

Best prank ever!

Rafi, what did you do?

That was Brian's idea.

I just helped.

Brian?!