06x17 - The Waiting Game

[bunniefuu]

[Crow caws]

Frankie: Waiting sucks.

You wait at the post office, you wait at the bank, you wait behind the old lady writing a check at the grocery store.

But the longest wait of all is waiting to see if you've gotten into college.

Frankie: Hear anything yet?

Nope. Still nothing.

But we all had ways of dealing with it.

Sue immersed herself in an arts-and-crafts project, Mike cleaned all our crap out of the dining room, and I rejoined curves.

Look, making the call is the hardest part.

[Sighs] Frankie, I'm trying to make room for aunt Edie's table.

I can't believe how much junk you got in here.

A food dehydrator? Really?

Isn't our food already dry and tasteless enough?

That's sentimental.

I got it from my mom when I gave it to her and she didn't like it.

Well, we just can't keep piling stuff up.

All right, we'll sell it on Craigslist.

We can't even take a picture on our phone.

That's not gonna happen.

Axl: don't touch it! Don't you touch it!

Don't you dare touch it!

[Indistinct shouting]

You're closer.

Brick: Every square inch is covered with your stuff!

Cut it out!

I'm sorry.

I can't live in this clutter anymore.

I just can't.

This isn't the room of a man of words, it's a room of a man of sweat socks.

There's no space for my thoughts.

Put your thoughts in the dining room. That's the junk area.

We're not doing that anymore. Now it's the basement.

I'm sorry, but his garbage is everywhere.

I found pool balls under my bed!

I am learning to juggle!

I'm trying to better myself, unlike you people.

Dad, it's my room now.

He doesn't even live here anymore.

This is my spring break, and this is my vacation home.

So much sadness in that sentence.

Look, you guys are old enough to figure this out, so figure it out.

[Door closes]

Hey, mom, check it out!

It's a potpourri sachet.

I'm making one of these for every senior in my class as a little souvenir of our time together.

"Sue" -venir?

Get it? [Chuckles]

Aww.

"Class of 2015. Aromaderci.

Our future smells bright."

[Chuckles]

Clever.

I got to say, honey, I'm impressed.

This is a really nervous time, you know, waiting to hear about college, and you're handling it great.

Well, it's out of my hands.

What are you gonna do?

[Chuckles] You're right.

You just got to find ways to not let the stress get to you.

That's all you can do. [Sniffs]

There is no reason it should take this long.

Carly's heard. Sue should have heard.

[Sighs]

Those colleges know exactly what they're doing, Mike.

They're just not telling us.

Why won't they tell us? Why?!

Okay, you got to get it together, lady.

[Sighs] I'm trying!

Reading a magazine doesn't help. Working out doesn't help.

You been working out?

Hey, I'm getting my photo taken for my I.D. tomorrow, so back off.

Look, Frankie, you got to calm down.

[Sighs]

Sue's gonna get in somewhere.

Is she, Mike? Is she?!

Ugh, I just want this for her, you know?

She's so good and so kind and she doesn't make anything, and if this one thing could just go her way...

[gasps] We should pray, Mike.

Let's go to church. Is church open now?

Never mind. I'll pray right now.

Ow! Ohh. I just hurt my knee.

Now there's no way I can work out tomorrow.

[Sighs]

Mike: What are you doing?

It's cold, but I want to get a tan.

Everybody else is in Florida, but I didn't go.

You got off cheap. You're welcome.

Oh, gee, I wish there was some way we could thank you.

Oh, I know.

How about we let you get up and help us with the groceries?

Oh. [Groans]

[Grunts loudly]

Mike: What the hell?

Why's your stuff in here?

Why is my stuff in here?

Why's his stuff in here?

Oh, I got tired of all Axl's stuff clogging up my space, so I moved it in here.

You moved all of this by yourself?

Hate makes you strong.

Oh, no. [Bag thuds]

No way!

Actually, wait a minute.

Huh!

Not bad.

Mm.

Frankie: Oh, no, no, no, no.

No. This is not happening.

We are bringing in aunt Edie's table.

I'm finally getting my dining room back.

I thought you took care of this.

I told them they were old enough to figure it out.

What?

Yeah, some people's kids can figure things out, not ours.

We're not the Donahues.

We don't have Donahue family court, where the kids present their case and Nancy and Ron vote on it and they sentence the loser to 5 to 10 hugs.

Hey, Brick, before you go, could you, uh... [Whistles]

Ah. [Clicks tongue]

Axl: Uh, mom and dad, I don't hang out in your room.

Would you mind taking that somewhere else?

Oh, my God, Sue, these Sue-venirs are genius.

My review is in, and they're a smash.

Oh, you think?

I was worried I might have put too much clove in them.

Not everybody likes clove.

It's a very divisive spice.

Mm.

[Knock on door]

Man: Brad, you want to hit the batting cages?

No, dad. Wait for it.

Three, two, one.

You sure?

Yes.

Every day. [Chuckles]

[Scoffs]

So, h-how are you doing with the whole waiting thing?

'Cause I know that for some people, it's starting to get a little bit stressful.

Actually, I have some good news, but I wasn't gonna tell it if you're not in a place to hear it.

Oh, no, I'm in a place, a perfectly good place.

Spill it.

Okay.

I've decided, instead of going to college next year, I'm gonna do a year of service to my country.

You joined the army?

Oh, no.

Although I always thought I'd look pretty cute in the costumes.

I signed up for Americorps.

Oh, my God!

That is so great!

I love you. I love America.

What could go better together than the two things I love?!

What is Americorps?

It's kind of like the peace corps, but for America.

Not sure what I'll be doing for them yet...

Maybe teaching kids, maybe building houses.

Hey, that could bring me and my dad closer.

I'll ask him how a hammer works. [Chuckles]

Oh, I am so excited for you!

And a little jealous.

You don't even have to worry about college yet.

Oh, I didn't tell you?

I'm deferring for a year. I got into NYU.

Oh, wow!

That's amazing.

So, I guess you know what you're doing and Carly knows what she's doing and everybody knows what they're doing...

Except me.

Wow!

This room is bigger than I thought.

And what's that smell?

Oh, it's a new fragrance I'm working on.

It's called "not Axl," by Brick.

You know, mom, so often people say they're going to do things in life and they never, ever do them.

I'm calling the curves lady back to make my appointment.

I just couldn't find the number.

I'm not talking about you.

Okay. But I am calling.

Mm-hmm.

I've read so many novels in my life and I've always dreamed that someday I would write one, but until I cleared the Axl out of my headspace, that dream felt impossible...

Until today.

[Typewriter dings]

Today, I realized that...

Sue: I got an e-mail from Purdue!

Axl: [Groggily] Can you keep it down?

I'm trying to sleep!

[Breathing heavily] What does it say?

[Sighs] I haven't opened it yet.

Okay, here I go.

[Computer dings]

Buffering, buffering, buffering...

[Computer chimes]

Okay.

Wait-listed.

Aw.

That's all right.

They haven't said yes, but they haven't said no.

Exactly.

And, you know, there's still a lot of other colleges to hear from.

Yeah. Exactly.

And you know what?

This wasn't even my first choice, anyway.

And it could still end up being a yes.

Right. So, we're good.

[Groans] We're screwed!

I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

I'm seriously gonna throw up.

Mind getting off the bed then?

Ugh.

I just wanted the first one to be a yes. [Sighs]

Why couldn't the first one be a yes?!

Oh, stupid Purdue.

You know what?

When they change their minds and say yes, we're gonna turn them down.

Unless they're the only one.

Okay. We still got a long way to go.

You got to pace yourself, Frankie.

[Sighs]

[Grunts]

You're getting to the age when you could have a heart att*ck.

And we all know you're not working out.

[Sighs]

All right, Axl...

Uh, I'm sorry. Knock?

It's called being polite.

But since you're here, could you bring me some ham?

I'm not bringing you ham.

My God! It's four feet away.

It would take no effort at all for you to just get that for me.

Mom, just think about how you could be more giving to other people.

You got no time to eat, anyway, Axl.

You're coming with me to get aunt Edie's table.

Mm, well, I hope you have somewhere to put it 'cause you're not putting it in my room.

This is not your room, Axl.

Ugh! Why do you suddenly have such a need for a dining-room table, anyway?

Are the Gatsbys coming to dinner?

Whew.

[Sighing] Wow.

Writing a book... what a process.

At a certain point, I wasn't writing the story [chuckles] It was writing me it just took me, and I was along for the ride.

Well, get in the car.

I got another ride you can go along for.

[Groans, sighs]

Frankie: We can patch the drywall.

It's not our fault aunt Edie's house has narrow hallways.

Thank you for letting me witness that.

A writer can't stay inside when real life is so chock-full of drama.

Like Axl thought that table could just slide right past that sconce, but then it didn't. What a great twist.

And then mom expanded my vocabulary with her colorful collection of curse words.

I'm glad I came.

My God. Even with the windows down, I can still smell it.

Sue, I thought you didn't bring your "poo-pourri."

I didn't.

It's just a part of my body now.

[Boston's "More than a Feeling" playing]

♪ More than a feeling ♪
♪ When I hear that old song they used to play ♪
♪ Song they... more than a feeling ♪
♪ I begin dreaming, more than a feeling ♪ ♪ I begin dreaming, more than a feeling ♪
♪ Till I see Marianne walk away ♪
♪ [Singing indistinctly] Walks away ♪

[Imitates drums]

♪ I see my Marianne walkin' awa-a-a... ♪
♪ I see my Marianne walkin' awa-a-a... ♪
♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay! ♪
♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay! ♪

[Guitar solo]

[Imitating electric guitar]

[Tires screech]

So... Hi.

Hey.

How was the ride home, dad?

Fine.

I'm sure it was.

It's not like you had to come all the way from Boston.

[All chuckle]

You know what, Axl?

I have more than a feeling that you're right.

[Laughs]

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, come on! You're totally busted!

We saw you rockin' out in your car!

Oh, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I thought your voice was really pretty.

Especially when you hit that high note.

You know, in my whole life, I don't think I've ever seen your back teeth.

Yeah. Wasn't me.

Oh, come on, Mike.

It was your car and your body and your head and your face that the sound was coming out of.

Do we have any of that squeezy Mayo?

I hate having to dig out of this.

Brick: Is this something you do all the time when we're not in the car?

You just drive around singing?

Yeah, are you fun behind our backs?

Look, I don't know what you saw or what you heard, but it wasn't me.

[Keyboard clacking]

So...

Did you get any more responses?

Nope. Nothing yet.

Axl: Can you please keep it down in there?!

I can hear you all the way in my room!

Axl, this is not your bedroom.

I put this table in here to get you out.

Well, it's not gonna work.

I don't care what you throw at me.

I'm not leaving.

I will keep turning your lemons into lemonade.

[Sighs]

Um, can I get some lemonade?

Phew! Done.

You know, there's an expression that writers hate writing but love having written, and, boy, do I get that now.

Would you like to hear it?

Of course...

Not.

[Clears throat]

"As his eyes fluttered open, the boy saw the sun had already gently nudged awake its captives, yesterday's mistakes vanished to wispy nothings, and the father he thought long dead was standing at his door."

Well? What do you think?

Wha... that's awesome, Brick.

You wrote that?

Keep going.

What do you mean?

Keep reading. What happens next?

Oh, that's all I got.

Oh, my God.

You write nonstop for days, and you only got one sentence?

I can write like a whole 10-page paper in 5 minutes...

3 if you don't care how good it is.

Axl, he's gonna do more.

You're gonna do more, right, Brick?

What are you, my editor?

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Hey, dad!

How was the drive home from work?

Silent, same as always.

Aw, don't be like Marianne... walking away.

Hey, dad, Axl and the a*-Men are looking for a new member.

[Refrigerator closes]

Do you only play air guitar, or do you have experience with other imaginary instruments?

Am I really the most important part of your lives?

This is all you can focus on?

'Cause your mom farted at the Donahues', and that was only a half-day discussion.

This has been going on for two days.

We know mom farts. We didn't know you sing.

I wasn't singing. The radio was singing.

Oh, come on. You were beltin' it out.

I bet people three cars away heard it.

[Gasps] Do you have any other hidden talents we don't know about?

I know how to change the locks on this house.

Mike, just admit it. You sang.

Come on. Admit it!

Yeah, man up.

Your voice is really pretty.

If you don't believe us, I think I got the last few notes of it on my phone before you...

Do not press play, Axl. Give me that right now.

Give that to me. Give me that right now.

All right, all right, all right, that's enough.

Axl, I'm not gonna say it again.

Wha... okay, are you seriously gonna... don't chase... fine...

[Stammers] Whatever, man. Geez.

[Exhales sharply]

[Laughs]

I actually didn't record anything.

But I do have some other private stuff on that phone I should get back.

[Computer dings]

Oh.

[Gasps] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I got an e-mail.

It's from Notre Dame.

Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Well, no reason not to open it now.

[Chuckles] I guess. If you want.

Okay. Here goes.

[Computer dings]

Buffering, buffering, buffering, buffering.

Why don't we have faster lnternet?!

Still buffering.

Pop-up for male enhancement. Still waiting.

[Computer chimes]

Okay. Here goes.

Hmm.

Okay.

It's a no.

Okay, well, that's okay.

That's one I didn't really expect to get into, anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we figured.

We knew that.

Still lots of other schools to hear from.

[Chuckles] The next one will be a yes.

Yeah.

[Door opens]

[Chair clatters]

So clearly, I was a mess.

I think I tweaked my elbow throwing that chair, and just when I was all set to go to curves.

Hey, don't get greasy fingers on my blankets.

And I have a "no barbecue sauce" rule in my bedroom.

We're having dinner in the dining room, Axl.

If you don't like it, maybe you should take your bed to your bedroom.

No! I can't have him in my writing space.

I'll never finish my second sentence.

I'll be known as a one-sentence wonder.

Sue: Brick, your first sentence was amazing.

I'm sure your second sentence will be amazing times amazing.

Stop. I'm under enough pressure as it is.

I came out of the gate hot, and now I have to top myself?

I mean, sure, you write, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times," but then what comes after that?

Ugh. My stomach is in knots.

It might be the gas-station chicken.

This chicken's from a gas station?

This is officially the worst of times.

Maybe you'd be more comfortable in your bedroom.

Uh, I'm in my bedroom.

Mike: I'll make it simple for you.

If the bed's not out of here by tomorrow, I'm taking your car.

Why? Looking for another concert venue?

[Laughter]

[Chuckles]

Okay. That's the last one.

Frankie: Aw.

You're done.

Not another word about it.

[Tapping rhythmically]

[Humming "More than a Feeling"]

[Humming] Frankie: ♪ I begin dreaming ♪

Brick & Sue: ♪ More than a feeling ♪
♪ Till I see Marianne walk awa-a-a-y-ay-ay ♪

[Sue gasps]

Hey.

You're not really... mad, are you?

Do you not know me, Frankie?

Did you think I would find any part of that enjoyable?

Well, come on.

You tease people all the time with your quick, little digs and your sarcastic comments, and the one time we tease you, you s*ab my table?

I mean, I only had it for two days, Mike.

It's not a comfortable thing for me.

Do you get that?

Why are you embarrassed that there's a fun side to you?

If you want to be embarrassed, be embarrassed that you've worn a flannel shirt every day for the last 30 years.

It's not like I go around singing all the time.

It was just a stress reliever, something to blow off some steam.

This whole Sue college thing is making me nuts.

Aha! I knew it!

You're going around, acting like you're Mr. "oh, I'm a big tree with no feelings," and you are just as nervous as I am.

A rejection and a wait list?

That's not good, Frankie.

[Sighs] Why can't it be good news?

She doesn't deserve this.

Hey, the next one's gonna be yes.

[Sighs] It's got to be, right?

I don't know.

[Sighs] It's a lot harder than when we were trying to get into school.

Colleges get a lot more applications now.

Ugh. That's true.

And they might take a kid that doesn't need financial aid over one that does.

Oh, my God. I didn't even think about that.

Mm-hmm.

Ugh.

Thanks for not telling me before.

I really would have lost it.

That was you not losing it?

I just really want this for her.

♪ When I'm tired and thinking cold ♪

Unh-unh.

[Chuckles] Come on.

♪ I hide in my music, forget the day ♪

[Tools clink]

♪ And dream of a girl I used to know ♪
♪ I close my eyes ♪
♪ And she drifts away ♪
♪ And she slips away ♪

Jump to the chorus.

♪ More than a feeling ♪
♪ More than a feeling ♪
♪ When I hear that old song ♪
♪ They used to play ♪
♪ Said, more than a feeling ♪
♪ I begin dreaming ♪
♪ More than a feeling ♪
♪ And I see Marianne walk away ♪
♪ Marianne walk away ♪
♪ I see my Marianne walking away ♪
♪ Ay, ay ♪
♪ Ay ♪
♪ Hey ♪ [Imitates cymbal crash]

[Dog barking in distance]

♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪

[Both vocalizing]

Sue, move.

I'm checking my e-mail.

Well, hurry up.

We're eating dinner in here, and I have to set the table.

Spoons only.

Well, I did it.

You finished the book?

No, I've got a second sentence.

"The floorboard creaked as he stepped in the room, sending up a cloud of dust sparkling in the sunlight."

[Folder thuds]

Oh, who am I kidding? It's crap.

This sentence is just a cheap imitation of the first one.

Now I'm questioning my first sentence.

I think I need to take a sabbatical, just step back from both sentences and clear my head, perhaps backpack through Europe for a year.

Oh, my God. East lndiana State.

Brick: That first sentence was my "to k*ll a mockingbird."

[Keyboard clacks]

[Indistinct conversations]

Aah!

Frankie: What?! What is it?! What is it?!

[Stammering]

What? What? What? Are you happy or sad?

Happy or sad? What is it?

Eastern... Eastern lndiana State.

Okay, wait. Wait. Wait.

What's it say? Wait. Wait. Wait.

Somebody read it.

Sh-she's in.

She's in!

Aah!

That's my girl!

[Laughter]

Yeah!

[Laughs]

Clearly, admission standards have lowered significantly since I got in.

Congrats. You're a dragon.

"Dear Sue Sue Heck, "it is our pleasure to welcome you to the east lndiana state class of 2019!"

Now, that's a sentence.

Whoo! Whoo!

Five more acceptances came in that week, and I jumped so much, there was really no reason for me to go to curves.

I mean, it's better to start on the first of the month, anyway.

[TV chatter]

[Sighs]

It's kind of nice to lie in bed and watch the big TV.

And the kitchen's not far away, either.

Mm.

Just think... a few more years, Brick will be off to college, too, and this will all be ours.

Mm.

How's it going, Brick?

Oh, good.

I'm starting work on a new novel.

What happened to your old one?

Well, I've got a great idea for a new sentence, but it doesn't go with the old sentences.

But I'm feeling good.

Soon I'll have two novels under my belt.

Plus, I'm noodling around with a word that'll make a great short story.

We've got two kids in college, a novelist, and we're drinking in the dining-room bed.

We're doing something right.

[Chuckles]

[Bottles clink]