05x06 - Don't Dream It's Over

[bunniefuu]

Jenna: Previously on Awkward...

That's just the engagement party that you're hosting tomorrow night.

She doesn't love him and she never did!

I need to tell you something about Matty.

He... loves... you!

Jenna: What did Gabby know that I didn't?

Jenna, it's time for your speech.

What speech?

Is it possible that you know who you're meant to be with from the start?

Jenna: T's party had left both of us reeling, me from Gabby's revelation that Matty still had feelings for me, and T from the end of her engage... mish.

I couldn't think of a better way to deal with these bombshells then pigs in a blanket and season four of Sex and the City.

You may have blown up my engagement, but at least your mom has all of Sex and the City on DVD.

Hopefully it'll take my mind off my ex in the Marines.

Carrie, take me away.

[p*rn music]

The [bleep]?

woman on DVD: As Charla was going uptown, I was going way down.

man on DVD: They don't call me Mr. Big for nothing!

Ew, stop it! Stop it!

Sexin' the Titties?

"Lace, thought we could watch this one together. Love, Kev."

Ew.

[keys clacking]

Why would your dad put his p*rn in with the normal DVDs?

Keep the ish in your nasty drawer with your motion lotion.

I don't even want to think about it.

Let's just be grateful we found the real DVDs.

[gasp] Oh, my God. Jenna.

What if... what if Adam is my Mr. Big, and I just let him go?

Oh, T.

He might have been the love of my life and I just let him walk away.

Come on, do you really think "the one" is a thing?

I mean, I think there are lots of loves in your life.

No, there's one, and for me it might have been Adam.

I'm never gonna meet a guy like him ever again!

I'm going to end up marrying some dude who should have been a one night bland, and yeah, we'll stay together for the kids, but there will be no real passion, and we'll both end up having affairs with our tennis pros.

I can't do this, Jenna! I hate court sports!

Okay, take it down a little.

Carrie and Big spent some time apart, and they eventually got back together.

I mean, maybe you can get him back, too.

You think so?

Of course.

You're right. I can win Adam back, and it is not going to take me six seasons to do it.

I'm going to go get him right now.

Jenna voice-over: Tamara couldn't leave.

Because if Tamara left, I'd have no choice but to think about whether Matty still had feelings for me, and I did not want to think about that.

Besides, it made no sense for T to go now.

Adam's base was hella far.

T, it's 11:00, and his base is hours away.

Just wait and call him in the morning.

I can't call him in the morning, Jenna.

It's love, it can't wait.

Nothing good happens after midnight.

Calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down!

This is all your...

Okay, this is at least half your fault.

Why aren't you being supportive of this relationship?

Because it's not real.

T, you got engaged to a guy you met two hours earlier, and strung him along for months because you loved playing bride!

It was all a sham!

Really? And what would you know about a real relationship?

Uh, what is that supposed to mean?

You [bleep] up all your relationships.

Okay, no, I don't.

You are too short to ride that LOL-lercoaster, Jenna.

You have sabotaged every relationship you have ever been in.

That is extremely untrue and incredibly mean.

I say this with all the love in the world, but you are a relationship saboteur.

And I don't want to follow in your footsteps.

Honestly, the fact that you don't think I should go after Adam means I definitely should.

[door closes]

[voice-mail tone]

Hey babe, I'm on my way to your base, and I can't wait to see you and explain to you why I've been acting like I ordered a Venti DumDum Spice Latte from Bizarrebucks.

You're totally going to laugh. It's so us.

[Donora's Take My Heart playing]

♪ I was meant to find you ♪
♪ I was meant to fall in love ♪

Jenna voice-over: I was trying to focus on Carrie and company, but I couldn't get what Tamara had said out of my mind.

Was I really a relationship saboteur?

[knocks]

Oh, my God, was Matty here?

Was he going to act on those feelings Gabby told me about?

I wasn't ready for this.

Hey, is Gabby here?

She outran me and then texted me she was going to sleep at your place.

Well, she texted me "Slap win at Jerma's" with some winking emojis, but I got kind of worried.

I haven't seen her since the party.

Well, right after the party, when she was running through my yard pantsless.

[bleep]. Okay, thanks.

Hey, while you're here, quick question.

Okay.

Uh, we used to go out, and...

Oh, my God. We did, didn't we?

I know, right? It was, like, forever ago.

Yeah, we never talk about it anymore.

Listen, I'm probably being crazy, and this is probably a dumb question, but... was I the reason we didn't work out?

It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now.

Wait, so that's a no?

No.

Maybe you weren't completely honest with me.

But, whatever.

It's not like you treated me differently than anyone else.

What does that mean?

I don't have time to detail all of the drama that you caused.

I gotta go find my girlfriend, and if she's not here, where is she?

♪ You were meant to fall in love ♪
♪ You were meant to catch me ♪
♪ And you were meant to take, take my ♪
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ♪

[both screaming]

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

It's my friggin' car!

Oh, the last thing I remember is being so tired at Jenna's house and your car looked so comfortable.

Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick.

No, do not ralph-and-roll all over my upholstery.

My mom will go full American Psycho.

There's a plastic bag full of plastic bags under the passenger seat.

Can you just take me home?

Totally.

We're just going to run a quick errand first.

Mm.

Jenna voice-over: I'd gotten a lot of news tonight, and I couldn't help but wonder, was any of it true?

Did Matty still love me?

Why did that freak me out?

Was it because I was bad at relationships?

Is there such a thing as "the one?"

And just how many pigs in a blanket is it okay to eat before bedtime?

At times like these, a girl can't get by without a little help from her friends.

all: Hi!

[Latin jazz music]

[Latin jazz music]

♪ ♪

So, Gabby said Matty's still in love with me.

Yay! This is such great news.

I just read a book that said high school sweethearts make the best husbands.

No one's talking about husbands.

I don't even know if I still have feeling for him.

I mean, sure, I did love him, but the past is the past.

The past is never dead. The past isn't even past.

That's what Abraham Lincoln said.

I don't think Abraham Lincoln said that.

Oh, yeah? Then who said it?

Back to the Baberaham Lincoln at hand, honey, Matty doesn't love you.

Why would he? He's a catch and you're a snatch who ruins all her relationships.

I'm great at relationships. I've had tons of boyfriends.

[laughter]

If you were great at relationships, you'd only have one.

Face it, you've blown up every one of your relationships.

You're like an emotional su1c1de bomber.

That's not true. I'm always getting dumped.

Yeah, because you [bleep] it up.

Go ask some of your dumb exes if you don't believe us.

Jenna voice-over: At times like this, a girl has to wonder, why is there a man dressed as a hotdog outside her window?

They say past actions are the best predictor of future behavior.

And so, before I turn my attention to the subject of Gabby's gabbin', I couldn't help but wonder, am I the reason my relationships fail?

Um, yeah.

♪ ♪

[sigh]

I thought you said we were running a quick errand.

We are.

We've been driving for hours.

Just stay in the car and be cool, okay?

We'll be home in no time.

Okay, so you haven't picked up the phone yet or responded to any of my ten messages, 33 texts, or seven sexts, which the last one was pretty hot.

But that's okay, because I'm here.

Like, literally, I'm outside. See you in a min.

Jake? I'm with Tamara.

I don't know, I'm literally in the middle of a desert, and it's dark and scary and I think she's lost her mind.

Don't yell. I'm still so drunk.

Can I help you?

I'm here to win back the love of my life, Adam Walker.

So should I just head to his barracks, or should I do a Say Anything scenario out here, or, oh, is there, like, a super romantic restaurant on base?

There's no visitors on base between midnight and 6 a.m.

Totally, that makes good sense.

Um, I'm not a visitor, I'm an estranged fiancé.

There's no visitors on base between midnight and 6 a.m.

[sigh]

So, can we go?

Not until I've seen Adam.

We're gonna stay here all night.

Let me out! Let me out!

[horn honking]

Let me out! Let me out!

[sighs]

♪ ♪

What are you talking about?

I didn't sabotage my relationship with you.

You dumped me!

[laughs] Jenna, you left me standing in 20-degree weather on the side of a mountain after you begged me to meet you there.

That's not fair.

Eva had taken Matty off somewhere and...

See, that's it, right there.

You rescued Matty at Mr. PHHS, and then even though I came up to that mountain to be with you, you couldn't resist getting involved with him and Eva.

But neither of those were my fault.

My friends were having so much drama, and I just got sucked into it.

But the thing is, you didn't have to get sucked in.

You wanted to. You always had one foot out of our relationship.

Luke.

It's okay, I get it.

If you never go all the way in, you can never get hurt.

I was hurt when we broke up.

You were bummed.

But you were kissing someone else a week later.

Listen, Jenna, I think you're a really good person.

Would you please stop saying that?

But if you can't go all-in, you shouldn't be in a serious relationship.

What is Luke even talking about?

Serious relationship are my jam.

The fact that you think that is sadder than that tutu.

You're a total bummerina.

I'm not, I kind of think I'm pulling it off.

The only thing you're pulling off is your clothes every time you meet someone with a Y-chromosome.

And you know why?

Because I'm in love with love.

Because you're in love with the drama.

Like when you dated that sweet sophomore goober with the crush on you.

Why don't you try talking to him?

I'm not addicted to drama.

I'm not that slutty.

I look great in a tutu.

Okay, Jake will be here in a few hours.

He's freaking out about not getting a solid eight hours of sleep.

[laughs] He still does that?

Oh, my God, I've never met someone who's more insane about it.

Well, except for actual toddlers.

[laughs] Oh.

I feel like raw ass.

My stomach's launching a coup against the rest of me.

Yeah, there's nothing worse than being awake for the transition from drunk to hung-over.

Here.

Okay, you have a full Walgreen's worth of stuff in your car.

Well, you never know what you're going to need.

I can't believe we're stuck here until six.

I have an idea.

Show the guard my boobs?

I thought about that, but this dress is too complicated to undo.

Disturbing, and no.

Give me a minute.

[pop music playing]

♪ ♪

Hi, my friend and I need to talk to Adam Walker.

It's urgent.

Yeah, I'm sure it is, but as I told your friend, there's no visitors until 6 a.m.

Who's talking about visiting? We would just be so happy if he could come down here and talk to us outside base.

Why don't you just call him yourself?

I would, but my... my phone doesn't have service, and my friend is having an emergency.

I mean, look at her.

[singing]

[sobbing]

Okay, all right, all right.

If I call him, would you stop crying?

Yes.

Ha-ha-ha!

♪ Take my ha, ha, ha, ha ♪

[fake sobbing]

Jenna voice-over: Maybe Sadie was right.

Maybe I had more drama than a whole Taylor Swift album.

But that's just in serious relationships.

When things were more casual, the drama was dunzo.

I didn't need to ask the little sophomore.

There was no drama with Owen.

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

What? I thought what we had was simple.

Maybe for you, because you weren't in it.

I for one found the whole thing very dramatic and stressful.

I didn't realize you felt that way.

Because you never really listened to anything I said.

And you took my V-card, and then you could hardly look at me.

Come on, I liked you.

No, you didn't.

You liked the validation. Think about it, Jenna.

You only kissed me because you thought Matty was kissing someone else.

And you only slept with me because you were sad you didn't get into SCU.

It was never about me. It was about you.

I'm sorry.

Whatever, I gotta go.

I'm working on a new piece, classical music.

Very exciting. It's chords, pianos, musical notes of... of some sort.

What are you talking about? Are you having a stroke?

You don't know enough about music for your brain to actually understand what I'd say here.

I told you, you never really listened.

Jenna voice-over: I couldn't deny that my relationship with Owen had been based on the fact that he made me feel good about myself.

But was that true of my other relationships?

Was I vali-dating?

Yeah, Jenna. You were.

Yay! I thought you'd be all doom and gloom up in your room, but you came down!

Okay, Withholding Warren over here.

Look, I know I messed up, and I that things got out of control, but what you need to understand is that I didn't realize what I was doing.

I thought you were shipping out, and I had just read this Rev w*r-themed romance novel, One If By Land, Two If By We.

Totally recommend.

And I was just in a really super patriotic place emotionally.

And, you know, everybody always says that we need to support our troops, and I love our country.

I mean, everybody's always saying that about me.

I'm like Betsy Ross in a miniskirt, so...

Tamara, you took my grandmother's ring.

You are so full of [bleep].

Adam, come on.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

[hip-hop music]

Collin: Listen, Jenna.

We all know why you dated me.

Temporary psychosis?

Because I made you feel smart. Plus, I'm irresistible.

Was irresistible.

As in, irresistible in the past.

Well, you know what they say, the past is never dead.

The past isn't even past. Martin Luther King, Jr.

That's not who said that.

Then who is?

Anyway, I'm loving college.

So full of intellectuals.

Nothing like PHHS.

I'd say present company excluded.

I feel like my writing is really in a new place.

I'm working on this novel, it's like Ayn Rand meets Jeff Eugenides.

The hero, he's tormented by his love for two women.

There's a gorgeous but troubled woman who yearns to be half the talent the hero is, and a gorgeous, but quirky girl who's jealous of the hero.

That sounds terrible. Also, those two women sound like the same character.

[laughs] It's serious literature, Jenna.

You wouldn't understand. I mean, you're having a Sex and the City dream.

It's not exactly Franzen, is it?

Okay, just because women like something, doesn't make it frivolous.

Wait, this is a dream. I can do whatever I want.

Oh! Jenna!

Stop trying to turn me on.

Ugh, you are literally a nightmare person.

Why did I ever like you?

Because he wasn't me.

♪ ♪

Did you see that?

I couldn't stop watching.

It was like a car accident.

How can he be such a cold front when all I'm trying to do is bask him in my sunshine?

Honestly, why wouldn't he be?

You let the guy think you were going to marry him, and now you're barely even saying you're sorry.

I was apologizing.

No, you were trying to coast on the fact that you're cute and charming.

But when you really hurt someone, you have to do better than that.

[sighs]

[Latin jazz music]

♪ ♪

"Because he wasn't me."

Can you believe it?

Yeah, I can believe it.

For sure.

You should just go talk to Matty.

He's your one.

He's not my one!

That's not even a thing.

Fine, then go tell him you're not in love with him.

No! Jenna, believe in love!

Come on, Jenna, you're always complaining about what a [bleep] inconvenience it is to have Matty McKibben in love with you, so why don't you just go and shut it down?

Fine. I will.

Hey, kid.

Matty, you were right.

I only hooked up with Collin because he was everything you weren't, including an [bleep].

Jenna, listen. I have to tell you something.

No, you don't.

No, I do. I still... want to be with you.

[pop music]

You still want to be with me?

[drill sergeant shouting]

Tamara: Adam!

Adam!

Adam! Adam Walker!

Please listen to me!

This had better be quick.

It will be. I promise.

Listen. You're right.

I screwed up, big time.

I lied to you, and I hurt you, and I never should have accepted your proposals.

Especially the second one.

Especially this.

♪ ♪

Hey. Are you ready?

Shh! I'm watching.

I didn't break it off before because we are so good together.

And I didn't want to lose that.

I didn't want to lose you.

It took ending our engagement for me to realize that I love you, but I do, I really, really do, and I just wanna start over.

Please, can we start over?

Thanks for the apology.

I appreciate it.

But I can't do this.

I'm not some yo-yo that you can just jerk around.

Adam.

Adam, come on!

♪ ♪
♪ You're like a blizzard ♪
♪ ♪

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, it's okay.

It's okay. You're gonna be okay.

Hey, I'm sorry.

So... you guys want to get a room?

Jake!

Raunchy Rosati!

I meant to sleep! I'm so tired.

Well, I mean, unless there's something else you guys want to do.

Stop!

It was worth a sh*t.

Come on.

[playful music]

♪ ♪

What are you doing here? I already talked to you.

We're here so you can realize what you've been hiding from all year.

No, no, no, that's okay.

Ah. Comfy.

Put it together, Jenna.

Come on, you got this.

No, this is... this is too weird.

I have to leave.

Okay, no. Not you too.

Come on, Hamildunce. Even you're good enough at math to add this one up.

I'm sorry, Jenna, but even I get it.

Oh, I figured it out.

That quote about the past was by William Faulkner.

Duh, I should've known that one.

Okay, uh, good dream, guys.

Thanks for the help, but you can go now.

[door opens]

♪ ♪

You sabotaged our relationship because you were still into Matty.

You only dated me because I was different than Matty You were in love with the drama, because it led you back to Matty.

You never would have kissed me unless you thought Matty was kissing someone else.

What does it all add up to, Jenna?

♪ You, your heart is golden ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's Matty.

I've never stopped being in love with Matty.

I love Matty.

Jenna voice-over: The sun was up, and I was more awake than I'd been in a long time.

And for once, I was going to do something about it.

Jenna: Next on Awkward...

What was the right outfit to tell someone you love them?

So, you gonna tell me what's behind that smile?

Saturday.

Back on spring break, Matty came to the house looking for you, and I sent him away, and told him to leave you alone.

Why would you do that?

The time for shipping Matty and Jenna has sailed and sunk.