01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Anna, voice-over: Love is just like people, really.

Love is born.

It grows.

It changes.

Love ages.

It dies.

Some love transcends life.

Love is familiar.

Love is strange.

Love can be broken.

It can be fixed.

Love can be lost and then found again.

Anna, on-screen: Can you come here?

V.O.: After seven years of marriage, all I know is...

Come here.

I'm brushing my teeth.

V.O.: .. love is what you make it.

What... Oh! Gross!

I've got toothpaste in my mouth. (Spits)

Mm-hm.

No, no... No, look, you're really getting me wet now.

Well, then get wet!

Are you kidding me? These shoes are suede.

What I want from you will only take three minutes.

Oh, really? Three minutes, mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

H-H-Hey, watch it, watch it.

Xander, you have three versions of the same shirt.

Just get in here and give me...

No. Please, listen. No... what I want.

Hey.

Hurry up. We need to go.

V.O.: Love can come in and out of your world without warning.

Just like people.

(Laughs)

Ready.

Now?

Yeah.

It's too late. We've got to go.

You were up for it 15 minutes ago.

Your timing's all out.

What, MY timing's out?

You're the one who just spent half an hour in the shower.

What happened to, 'it only takes three minutes'?

Have you booked a cab?

Kasper, come on, mate. We've gotta go.

Quick, quick.

Kasper, let's go.

V.O.: If life were a flight, then I would look to Alexander for signs of panic during turbulence.

But he never showed any.

Being with him was a feeling of safety, of comfort, of a cold square of butter melting into a warm bread roll.

I loved him.

He made me think I could survive anything.

But he was wrong.

By the time my boy turns seven, I will be dead.

♪ PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC ♪

Kitty: Yes.

This is Skeet. Right now he has no idea what Kitty's talking about.

(Chuckles)

Which was not so unusual.

Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Definitely, yes.

Mm...

Skeet was not a morning person.

Possibly nocturnal.

What time is it?

6:03.

Didn't we just get home?

You fell asleep. I couldn't.

I've just been lying here watching you breathe, thinking about what you asked me, and apart from all the obvious questions, like what am I gonna wear and what are my parents gonna say, all I could see in my mind were three floating little letters --

Y, E and S.

I'm glad you can spell.

(Giggles)

I can see why I might have got carried away.

Did you mean it?

Y... E... and S.

(Squeals)

I can't believe I just 'eeked' in front of you.

I can't believe this is happening.

I'm gonna call my mum.

Skeet's go-to reaction was usually terror, then regret, followed by a strong urge to flee.

But Kitty was sweet, pretty and would do anything for him.

Could he really do any better?

Kitty.

We're having dinner with them tonight.

We can tell them then.

You're so right.

Ravish me!

(Laughs)

(Grunts)

(Squeals)

Now I know what poets write about and what singers sing about and what painters paint about.

And what horses neigh about?

I'm serious.

OK.

He wants me all the time.

Like... now I know why women say they like sex.

I let him do me in the toilets at the hotel lobby last week.

All his work friends were just waiting for us, and we just slipped off into the disabled toilet and it was just like lucky they had handles on the walls.

Oh, Kitty, you whore!

Totally. It's like I'm someone else when we're together.

All his friends just chatting away and I can still feel the width of him inside me.

The width?

Yeah.

Kitty, you're embarrassing yourself.

Kitty wasn't the only one embarrassing herself.

Meet Peter. He knew nothing of Skeet.

Hey, it's me. Um...

Man: Peter?

Yeah.

I'm hiding in the stable at Kitty's work.

Look, Peter, what are you doing?

You're a grown man. Get out of there.

I'm extremely ashamed of myself, just so you know.

I'm not blind to how ridiculous this is.

What are you doing?

I came for a reason that is incredibly stupid and I know I will deeply regret when it's over.

I'm basically here to humiliate myself.

Peter was a realist.

So, now's the time for you to be my oldest friend and to tell me to get out of this stable and come meet you so you can talk some sense into me.

But he was also a romantic -- a fraught combination.

Mate, I'd love to but I don't think I can. Um...

Yeah. Dolly's not feeling very well.

Woman, on baby monitor: Wrong again, Kingsley!

You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?

Well, you'll be surprised to know I've never felt so well in all my life!

And, by the way, why are you even still here?!

Kingsley, I can see you.

(Whispers) Hold on, hang on, look.

There is a way of getting what you want, but hiding in a stable at her work is not it.

Alright?

It's creepy.

Sage advice.

Peter?

(Phone clatters)

He knew that dropping his phone and not looking for it only made him out to be the weirdo that people thought he was.

But Peter had committed to not looking and he was a man who followed things through.

Kitty. Hello.

What are you doing here?

I came here for you.

And also not you. I came to see all sorts of people.

Anybody, really.

I gotta come into town sometimes to see friends.

Uh, do Mum and Dad know you're here?

Uh, no, not... not yet.

Well, you don't want them to find out you're in town that you didn't call them.

Yeah. I'll do that today.

Well, we should get to it. See ya.

Oh.

He's so weird.

It's kind of what I like about him, though.

He likes you.

No, he doesn't. He's like a brother.

Kingsley thought his wife, Dolly, knew he was playing around.

He thought that they had a silent agreement -- a 'do what you want as long as I don't know about it' type of arrangement.

He even imagined her winking at him sometimes.

(Knocks softly)

I brought you some tea...

(Door bangs)

Dolly: Get away from the door!

(Door bangs)

(Sobbing)

Turns out she wasn't.

Ah, mate, just go back to your room, alright? Everything's fine.

Everything is not fine.

There is nothing fine about anything. Everything is over!

(Door slams shut)

The truth was Dolly had been shitty for a while.

She had no career left, she believed the world was doomed, the ice caps were melting and they'd had too many children.

If I wasn't so fat from carrying all of your bloody children, I'd be heading out to a bar right now to take home the first man who looks at me.

Which still happens, by the way, Kingsley, all the time.

All the time!

Babe... I believe it.

Is Mama alright?

It's just grown-ups talking, mate.

This is... somehow we... talk like...

Hey, it's alright. Come on. Come here.

You threw everything away when you dicked her.

Him, me, all of us.

You see this? You're never getting this back.

It's gone, Kingsley. It is over, kaput.

Babe, I don't even find her attractive.

You threw our marriage away for someone you don't even find attractive?

Yep.

No.

Then why?

I don't know.

Why? Why?

I was stupid. I mean I AM stupid.

I am incredibly stupid. It... It meant nothing.

F...

Hey, do you remember that guy the night Riley was born?

You know, the madman running around here, trying to find you a red Gatorade at 3am in the morning on a Sunday?

That's me. I'm the same guy.

No, you're not.

That guy d*ed with his d*ck inside our au pair.

Dolly, please. You're my world! You're my whole life!

Was I ever in the house?

She's practically a backpacker!

She's probably got herpes!

You've probably given me herpes!

Sorry, darling. Are you alright?

Yes?

OK.

Man: Oh, beautiful job.

Boy: Oh, yeah!

(Applause)

Congratulations!

Girl: Amazing cake!

Xander: Aw, congratulations, Mum and Dad.

Man: Thank you.

(Phone ringing)

Kingsley. What's up?

Dolly's leaving me.

Actually she's kicking me out.

Well, what do you mean, kicking you out?

What have you done this time?

I slept with the nanny.

Oh, Jesus, Kingsley. What were you thinking?

Oh, gosh.

Haven't seen that in a while. Hey? Look -- it's you.

There you go.

Thank you. Will you sign it, too?

Kasper: Me?

Anna.

Kasper's signing his first magazine cover.

That was Kingsley.

Yeah?

Dolly's leaving him.

What?

She caught him with Gabriella, their au pair.

(Laughs) Oh, what an idiot.

He was, uh, begging me to come home to talk to her.

What do I do?

Well, you let him work it out.

What did he think was gonna happen?

He was crying.

I bet he was.

No, I've never heard him like that before.

And I'm never gonna forgive myself if I thought there was something I could do and I didn't do anything.

No matter what I say, you're already halfway to the airport, right?

Mm-hm.

That's why I love ya.

Don't worry about us. We'll be right here.

What about them?

Oh, please, they'll be in bed by five.

(Chuckles)

Thank you.

(Chiming)

Man, over PA: Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the First Officer.

On behalf of the captain and the crew here today, it's a pleasure having you with us.

We're expecting a nice quick flight...

Would you like one of these?

Oh, no. I've already had one.

(Chuckles) I'm a terrible flyer.

Mm.

I've just realised who you are.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

Oh, that's a bit silly of me.

No, not silly at all.

I saw you play once, you know.

Oh, yeah?

Mm. It was when you b*at that Russian girl in Melbourne.

Yeah.

The whole country was on edge.

Do you know, I had terrible period pain that day.

And you still won.

Well, I don't like to lose.

Nobody does.

(Both chuckle)

So, are you going home?

Yes. Yes. Begrudgingly.

I have to meet my son's new girlfriend and her parents tonight.

Oh, that sounds promising.

Oh, I think the dinner's more her than him.

Why do you say that?

Well, a mother knows her boy.

He's my youngest, and I can detect a waver in his voice before he even knows it's there.

Well, he might just want you to like her.

Oh, he's never cared before.

I once had three girls tell me in secret that they were dating Skeet in the same week.

He's never had a relationship that's lasted longer than a couple of months.

And how long have they been together?

A couple of months.

I see.

Alright, now, I don't want you to get upset when you see Mummy cry.

Alright? 'Cause I'm just like you, really, when something's wrong with you, you come and tell me all about it, so when I see my mummy, it might start again.

Or Kitty. That happens, right?

I am the lizard.

Mum... Mum!

Dolly!

Kids: Hi, Grandma! Hi, Grandpa!

What's happened?

Oh, nothing, just Kingsley's been having it off with the au pair.

Oh, darling.

He asked me to hire Gabriella because we needed to pull our belts in a bit financially, so I did it, and then she burst into tears, like, 'Sorry! I'm sorry!'

The poor thing cried into my skirt for half an hour before I could work out what the hell was going on.

And I said he's so thick, you know? Which is frustrating.

But she's finally got something to say that I actually want to hear about.

I just...! And I lost it completely in front of the kids...

Are you staying over?

Oh, I forgot.

You forgot.

Tonight's special to me.

It's dinner.

My marriage is over.

Nobody's saying that dinner is taking priority over this.

Why should I have to suffer just because Dolly's...?

What?

This always happens.

It's like, every time I arrange something for me, there's some crisis with you.

I'm sorry but your timing sucks.

I couldn't think of anything worse right now than having to pretend that I'm alright in front of some stranger anyway. I'll go.

He's not a stranger.

Well, I haven't met him, so he is a stranger to me.

Stay, Dolly. Stay. We'll have a wine. I'm cooking.

Come on. Let us look after you.

I can't. I'll be terrible company. I can't stop crying.

Awful mess. Silly boy.

Kids, we're going.

Come on, I'll help you put them in the car.

It could be a blessing, you know.

Please don't.

What if he wasn't the one?

Come on, darlings. Come on.

When you've felt real love, it hits you right here, in the heart, and wraps itself around you like one of those bright yellow anacondas in the Amazon.

I just don't know if you've ever felt that with Kingsley.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You were the worst person I could have told.

Can we please just talk about your mess? Please?

Ah...

Thank you.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm here.

Driving into town, telling myself, 'Peter, you're an idiot, why would she want you?

She wouldn't. No-one would.'

Dolly has always said that you two would make the perfect couple.

Yeah...

Alright?

The family like you, you ARE family...

Yeah, I'm family...

Yeah.

What if I've been around so long that I'm furniture?

Am I furniture?

Well, look, there's no easy way of saying this, furniture or not, um... she has a boyfriend.

But I don't think it's serious.

(Scoffs)

What?

See? What was I thinking?

What do you mean? Oh, come on.

Kitty is way too needy for you.

She's a self-obsessed girl, I mean, she can't even hold a conversation past, you know, like, 'What did you guys get up to last night?' So...

She might seem selfish, but the whole f*ckin' world is selfish.

Well, then, go for it, Romeo.

I mean, how long does anyone go out with a musician for anyway?

Yeah.

Let's get smashed, hey?

I'm in.

Cin cin.

Alexander proposed to me to win a bet.

He told me that if I could b*at him in tennis, then he would marry me.

And if you lost?

I had to pay him $1,000.

He's very funny.

I told him that I wasn't going to jump through hoops for a wedding proposal from him.

But I do love a game and we used to be very competitive, so... we started to play.

And you won, of course?

Yeah, I have a feeling he let me win.

So he lost and he won himself a wife.

That's a very clever man.

Mm.

(Chuckles)

Are you married?

Twice.

I nearly went back for the third, but luckily that didn't pan out.

(Chuckles)

I'd go through it all again in a heartbeat.

No regrets and no grudges.

I'd rather be sitting at home wishing that I hadn't than wishing that I had.

Wouldn't you?

I don't know.

(Aeroplane engine roars)

Woman, over PA: Attention, ladies and gentlemen...

(Speaks indistinctly)

Hey, Mum.

Hello, sweetheart.

Both: Mwah!

Ooh!

Can't find your brother?

Oh, no, he actually likes to be late.

He thinks it makes a person memorable.

(Chuckles) This is my son, this is Skeet.

It's actually Stuart, but as soon as he could talk, he told me he hated the name.

Hello.

Hi.

You play tennis.

Do you like tennis?

Yeah, I love tennis.

I hate tennis.

Me too.

I don't play tennis anymore.

Actually I'm about as sporty as a cigarette.

Oh, yes.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Um...

Anna!

Excuse me.

Kingsley.

(Laughs)

It's good to see you.

Sorry I'm late. Uh... I got drunk with Peter and had to cab it here.

Oh...

That's bad, isn't it?

Uh... Picking you up but paying someone else to drive?

I'm a bad person, I know that, and I'm sorry for that, and everything else.

OK.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Sure?

Yeah.

Goodbye, Tess.

Oh, it was so lovely to meet you and I hope we meet again.

It's a small world.

Mm.

See you.

See you later.

Goodbye.

Oh, actually, I've got something in here, look.

Have a look at this. This is for you.

Alright. Start at the beginning, tell me what happened, when, where.

OK.

Prepare me.

I don't want any surprises when I talk to Dolly.

No surprises. OK. Um...

Come on, get in.

OK, alright.

(Crash!)

(Woman screams)

(Muffled frantic chatter)

Man: OK, everyone, stand back...

(Indistinct radio chatter)

♪ PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC ♪

(Speaks inaudibly)

What are you doing...?

Hi, Daddy!

Hi, Dad!

Hello!

What are you doing home?

Hi, Aunty Anna.

Hi, Riley. Hi, Alec.

Look who's here.

Where's your mum?

Crying in her room.

[OK.]

Where's Gabriella?

Crying in her room.

Gabriella's still here?

Yeah. Didn't mention that?

I thought I said no surprises.

Oh, no! It's... Oh, you didn't...

Oh, you didn't...

Oh-ho-ho...

You were on holiday with Xander's parents.

Go back. Go... He shouldn't have called you.

I'm fine.

There's nothing fine about it.

Kingsley is a complete idiot and he knows that, which is why he called me.

This isn't happening. I don't want you to see me like this.

I'm gonna run you a bath.

How dare you come over here on the worst day of my life looking effortlessly fabulous and demand that I get naked.

Go on. Upstairs. Go.

Ahh...

Every night, I unpack myself in front of that mirror.

I take my contact lenses out, I put my mouth splint in...

(Chuckles)

I've got stretch marks that look like I've tattooed white stripes on myself.

My milk-drained boobs dangle like long, deflated party balloons.

I've got a bush you could hide a snake in.

My legs are hairier than Kingsley's.

I'm becoming a man. A man that looks like my mum.

I feel like he's lulled me into the safety net of marriage only to go and betray me.

If I'd known it was game on, I would've been competing.

You guys have been married for nine lovely years, you have an enviable life together because of how much you laugh, and your kids do it too.

Maybe that's worth more than one moment of stupidity?

Would you forgive him if you were me?

Yeah. I'd like to think I would.

Sad fact is I want to k*ll him but I'm too exhausted to be bothered.

I'm gonna put clean sheets on your bed.

You don't have to.

Yes, so you can sleep.

Until it's time to eat and then you can sleep some more.

Thank you.

Oh, my God...

Don't let me sleep in the bath, though -- I'll drown. (Chuckles)

I found this big old house and the idea was to record a song there, but when I went inside, I was like, 'I'm gonna record a whole album in this place.'

And now I live there, which is amazing, so...

I have to unplug the amp to blow-dry my hair. It's so cute.

I really love the city, you know, the sounds, the trains and trams and people and birds and mess.

You know, I like the mess.

He's always working.

(Chuckles)

We, uh, witnessed this terrible accident today.

A taxi driver was hit by a bus right in front of us -- k*lled.

Oh, that's awful!

Baby, why didn't you tell me?

I, um... because...

Because...

We're engaged!

You're what?!

It's been k*lling me to keep it a secret all day.

All day?

Did you know about this?

No, I had no...

Well, um... I suppose I should, um, pull out some champagne.

Um... you have been, uh, distracting us all evening with your youthful passion, so, um, I suppose this is the time when you tell me how you propose to look after my daughter.

I mean, are you going to move in together? Or...

Oh, Phillip, stop!

We haven't spoken about that yet, but I guess that's the next step.

That and a party.

Can we have one here?

A party? (Stammers)

You're not springing a surprise wedding on us, are you?

Why is this all happening so fast? You're not pregnant, are you?

No, we're not pregnant.

You don't need to be pregnant to get married, do you?

Babe, we don't have to have a party.

Yeah, yeah, we do. This is what we want.

(Doorbell rings)

Who's that?

Better not be Kingsley.

Kingsley wouldn't dare show up here tonight, would he?

Hi.

Sorry.

Can't really say I was just walking past, can I?

Anyone can find themselves just walking past, I guess.

Kitty, I'm just gonna say this really quickly 'cause I don't want to drag it out.

We've been friends for a long time, your whole life.

And I was wondering if maybe...

The reason that I came here tonight is to ask you if you think that you and I could ever be more... than friends?

You know, don't answer that now.

Just forget it, actually. Uh...

Peter.

I wish someone had told you. I'm sorry.

I have a boyfriend, a fiance, and we're madly in love.

You are?

We're engaged... to be married.

Yeah. I understand.

You don't need to find five different ways to say it.

It's Peter.

Why is he here? It's so late.

Phillip: Well, his brother's sick. Maybe he wants some company.

Let's be honest, what he wants is Kitty.

Well, I'm sorry but it's true.

(Laughs) This is so strange.

I'll just have to have a look myself.

Just leave the guy. It's bad enough.

You know, he has this habit of turning up at odd hours and not saying what he's here for.

I think we should say something, Phillip.

Don't be ridiculous. He's like family. I'll let him in.

Peter. Hey.

Hi, Phil, how are you?

Ooh!

Sorry.

Come on.

Sorry. I'm a bit drunk.

You can blame Kingsley.

You can blame Kingsley for a lot of things.

Come in.

Oh, no, I'm not really here...

Oh, no, no, no. I want to know how you're going.

Come and sit down.

Oh, you're all here. Look at that.

Hello, everyone. How are you?

Oop, oop...

Congratulations.

Kitty's a lucky girl.

I mean, you're lucky too.

You're a lucky couple.

Thanks, man.

Can you believe it?

No, I can't.

How's your little farm going?

Great, you know. Not so little.

You don't get lonely out there all by yourself?

I like my solitude but, yeah... I do get lonely.

Well... cheers.

All: Cheers.

Here's to the lucky couple.

Ah.

Nice to meet you.

Anna, on phone: Your dad loves room service.

Don't be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night to find him hoeing into a club sandwich or something.

When I was pregnant with you, he ate so much cheesy pasta he was as big as I was.

We had dessert for dinner.

(Laughs)

Mate! Shh, don't tell her that.

Oh-ho-ho!

For lunch, Dad put a chip up his nose and blew out flour.

We had a race in the pool. Dad b*at me but I came second.

Well, there's nothing wrong with coming second.

Except for tennis.

Xander! Stop!

Well, I'm still at Kingsley's but you two sound like you're getting along just fine without me.

(Knocking at door)

Um, just a second, there's someone at the door.

Surprise!

(Laughs) Hi!

Um, Kitty's just arrived. Come in.

OK, I... I should go.

Bye. Say, 'Bye, Mum.'

Bye, Mum.

Goodbye, my darlings.

Bye.

Bye.

How is she?

Yeah, she's, um, slept a few hours.

Kingsley disappeared up there a while ago with dinner and hasn't come back down, so that's a good sign.

This is Skeet.

Yeah, this is the strangest thing.

We met today, actually, at the airport.

He doesn't tell me anything.

Anna sat next to Mum on the plane.

How was dinner?

Oh, um, it was perfect.

We're engaged and we announced it tonight.

Oh, I'm so happy for you. That's great.

(Both chuckle)

That's so great.

Oh, I, uh... I don't have a ring yet.

Um... it's... it was a busy day and it'll be fun to choose one together anyway.

Yeah.

I'm gonna tell Dolly.

I might, uh, I might just wait here.

OK, yep. Good idea. Who knows what state she's in?

I can't stop thinking about what happened.

Me too. It's just playing over and over in my mind.

I keep seeing his face the moment he was hit, that look of panic is b*rned into my peripheral vision, like if I look to the side, I can still see him.

Yeah.

I mean, it's like, you know, normal life, normal life, normal life, bang, gone.

Yeah.

I'll never forget the sound he made.

I don't think he felt anything.

Would you want to know, if it was you?

Mm... I think I would want just enough time... to think, 'This is it.

This is how I die.'

Bus mirror.

How are they?

Um... I had to tell them through the door.

Well, they've had a terrible day.

Um, we're having an engagement party.

Mm!

Would you like to come?

I would love to! Of course!

♪ Whe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-en ♪
♪ I ♪
♪ Wa-a-a-as ♪
♪ A young girl ♪
♪ I used to seek pleasure ♪
♪ When I ♪
♪ Wa-a-as ♪
♪ A young girl ♪
♪ I used ♪
♪ To drink ale ♪
♪ Strai-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight ♪
♪ Out ♪
♪ Of the ale hou-ou-ou-ou-ouse ♪
♪ Down into-o-o-o ♪
♪ The jailhouse ♪
♪ Straight from ♪
♪ The bott-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-le ♪
♪ Dow-ow-ow-ow-ow-own ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oooooh ♪
♪ To-o-o my-y-y-y ♪
♪ Do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-o-o-o-o-o-oom. ♪

(Plucks guitar)

(Giggles)

Makes me nervous when she's like this.

Happy?

She's never gonna be a normal person if you keep babying her.

But she's fragile. She's at her worst when she's happy.

Settling down with Skeet, I don't know, it might just be the answer to Kitty's problems.

I just don't want to end up with both of my daughters married to men who fiddle around.

Oh, don't say 'fiddle'.

Oh, that really is disgusting coming from you.

Oh, hi!

Dolly and Anna: Hi!

Bride or groom?

Ah, very funny.

Congratulations.

Oh, thank you. Thanks.

All: Mwah!

[You look gorgeous.]

So do you.

Let me at him. I want to meet him.

I don't want him to see you with your tongue in my eye hole.

Where's Kingsley?

I made him ride with Gabriella and the kids, and I came with Anna.

I tell you, if there is a perk to what happened, then it's how willing he is to say yes to anything and everything at the moment.

You're very trusting, Dolly.

They are like two little frogs sitting in a blender and I've got my finger on the button.

Every time I make a move, they nearly die of fear. It's hilarious.

Dolly! Poor Gabriella.

You should put a lock on her pants.

I feel sorry for Gabriella, I really do.

(Door slams)

Oh, good, you're here already. Where are the kids?

The kids are dispersed, my love, and Gabriella is chasing after them.

[OK.]

Let's get drunk, eh?

You can't. You're driving.

(Laughs)

Hello.

(Glass clinking)

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, um... two weeks ago, my, um... my youngest daughter told me that she wanted to get married, and I found myself in a tricky position of asking, 'To who?'

(Laughter)

Let's go.

What? Now? No, it's speeches.

Exactly. No-one will notice. It's perfect.

I like speeches.

Come on, he's tired. He's got training in the morning.

You go. Bye. Mwah.

Love you, Mum. Bye.

Bye, darling.

Bye.

.. wish you a long .. and happy marriage and we'd like to welcome Stuart to the family.

So if you'd all charge your glasses...

One in, one out.

No, no, I'm not out. I'm back in.

He's back in?

He's not back in.

He's just got his toe in the door and he's making it very hard for me to close it.

To the happy couple.

All: To the happy couple!

(Cheering and applause)

(Dance music blares)

You can't dance?

What makes you say that?

You've convinced yourself that tall people look silly when they dance.

You hate crowds, you love opera, you have a beautiful singing voice but you don't like to sing.

You'd be surprised how much I know.

Yeah, well, my mother doesn't know everything about me.

Well, she knows about the time that you snapped your penis.

What?!

(Giggles)

She told you that?! Jesus!

No, I tried to make her stop, but she didn't.

What else did she say?

Uh... she told me that you once saved a boy from drowning in the sea and that you're an excellent speller, which I like.

You once drove a car drunk into six parked cars when you were young and was declared bankrupt at 24.

Yeah, I totalled them all. Quite a feat.

(Both chuckle)

And that you have a scar because of it right here.

Come dance with me.

(Sirens wail, traffic blares)

(Faint music)

Hi. Pete.

Oh. Here he is.

This is my brother, the little one.

Yeah.

How are ya? Oh...

The rich one.

Ooh.

I'm not rich.

Well, that's rich, coming from a man who has all my money.

I don't have any of his money, just to clarify.

Don't listen to him. He's an alcoholic.

(Chuckles)

He spent all my money on... on whisky and women.

Yeah?

(Laughs)

Do you want a vodka?

Uh, no.

Cocaine-laced hashish?

If I said no to vodka, then why would I...?

(Laughs)

You think you're funny?

Yeah, you're not. You should sit down, bud.

You know that he k*lled a man once?

Did ya?

I didn't k*ll... No.

Yeah. He hit him with his bicycle.

Really?

He rolled him right over.

I didn't.

So, why are you here, Peter?

Came to see you.

(Laughs)

Ooh! (Chortles)

Just...

Hey!

Hold yourself up.

He's always... you're always trying to watch me... my pissing.

I'm not trying to watch you...

Put your hands on the wall.

My d*ck is bigger than it's ever been, I think you'll all be pleased to know.

He's getting worse.

Nah, he's fine.

Hey, do you remember that time that you dared me to show it to Dolly, that time after school, and she said it was quite cute?

Like a snail with no shell but with a... with a... one eye.

With one eye.

Yeah.

(Shouts) Oh!

(Laughs)

Oh, f*ck!

Jesus Christ!

(Laughs)

A snail with no shell is a slug.

It's a slug.

No, it's not.

Well, he'd know -- he's a vet.

Oh, come on, baby.

That's the one thing you've said that is true.

Thank you, darling.

There you go. One foot in front of the other.

Ooh! Oh!

Stop throwing yourself around! You'll k*ll yourself!

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

No. I wouldn't, Nick.

I don't want to die.

Maybe you should come home for a while.

(Groans)

(Continues groaning)

The roar of the crowd, the rumble, people cheering your name, 'A-a-a-a-nna!'

It's addictive.

Tennis is nothing like that.

It's more like... polite clapping.

It's the silence that I remember most.

Why?

The whole arena would, like, breathe in at the same time.

And I used to imagine them sucking all of the air off the court.

It was like time stopped and there I'd be standing in... nothing.

Completely no sound at all.

I'd like to hear that sound.

You would?

Yeah, I really would.

(Footsteps approaching)

There you are, mister.

Why do I feel like I've been trying to track you down the whole night?

I don't know. I've been here.

Exactly.

While I've been in there practically begging you to be near me.

Hey.

Go after her.

You've been talking to her all night!

Babe...

Hey, you going?

Uh... definitely.

I'll, uh, walk you to a cab.

Do you think I could call you sometime?

Why? What would you say?

I don't know. I might ask you to meet me somewhere.

I don't think that's a very good idea.

Or something crazy might happen, something urgent, you know, someone might die.

(Scoffs)

I'm sure you have someone else that you can call.

What if I got tickets to a band?

Or a show?

Or an island?

Still no.

What if I bought an island?

Could I call you if I bought an island?

If you buy an island, you can call me, but... only then.

One drink. Anything.

I can't.

We could drink water.

I really can't.

Would you drink water with him?

Yeah, probably.

So, then, why not me?

Because...

Because you can feel it, too.

I'm... I'm married.

I know.

That's your party in there.

I don't think that was ever my party.

Uh...

Taxi!

Look... here.

Wait.

Why are you doing this?

I don't know, I just want to be where you are.

I felt it at the airport.

I felt it at the party.

And I'm feeling it here.

Right now.

You really going?

I'm really going.

(Phone rings)

♪ INTENSE AMBIENT MUSIC He's gone. He's left with her.

Catherine: I don't know where this is coming from.

Anna went home with Xander.

No, she didn't. I know it.

Well, maybe he got overwhelmed.

You know, our family can do that to people.

Can you just leave me alone, please, so I can k*ll myself?!

Look, if he really has gone, you're lucky it's happened now.

Well, I can't be the only one thinking it was all a bit... rushed.

You think I'm lucky?

Can you please tell me what's f*cking lucky about any of this?!

(Sobs)

Anna, V.O.: You know, there is an exact moment during take-off where a plane has no choice but to become airborne.

Once you hit that speed, being in the sky becomes safer than being on the ground.

You're flying, whatever the consequences may be.

There is no escape.

You have to keep going forward.

You've passed the point of no return.

(Door clicks)

I was flying so high above the Earth I couldn't see the ground anymore.

I looked for landmarks that might navigate me home, but I was so far up everything seemed unfamiliar to me.

My old life was falling away before my eyes... Xander... somewhere in the distance.

(Xander grunts)

How was it?

Oh, fine. Nice.

Fine and nice.

V.O.: My new life had already begun and it made my head start spinning.

Spinning for someone new.

Spinning for him.

You're looking great, Doll.

Break-ups are excellent for your looks.

We didn't break up.

You don't know that yet.

Can they be any more obvious?

She's liking all of his pictures.

It doesn't mean anything more than liking his photos.

She's a married woman.

We're gonna be together, Anna. It's inevitable.

Did you sleep with him?

I think I love him.