01x09 - Mars

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on "Casual"...

Hi, Laura.

Hi, Valerie.

Grandma, where's your boyfriend?

He's parking the car. [gasps]

Valerie.

That's no boyfriend.

That's your grandfather.

Thank you so much for having me.

Well, who have we here?

This is Alex's girlfriend.

You know, there's no joy that's greater in a man's life than when his family comes together in celebration.

What happened at school?

My mom got a little too involved in extracurricular activities.

What the heck does that mean?

She f*cked my photography teacher.

Why are you even here?

I've asked Charles to marry me.

And I've agreed.

[light instrumental music]

♪ ♪

Is that it?

Yep, over 1,200 words of hate.

It's my opus.

Can we just stay home?

They ruined my favorite holiday.

I want my pound of flesh.

Now are you doing just ham?

Why?

'Cause...

Does she not like ham?

What's so bad about her, huh?

Besides her collection of boyfriends?

Okay.

I just miss spending time with you.

We had breakfast yesterday.

No, you and Emmy had breakfast, and then she left, and you felt guilty, so you made me a guilt waffle.

No, that was a real waffle.

Just never mind. Forget it.

Hey.

What?

If anything happens, I'll be there, okay?

Emmy or no Emmy, I'm there for you.

♪ ♪

Right.

[phone beeps]

Where is she, anyway?

Parking.

What's that face?

What face?

You're making a face.

No. Just my real face.

No, your face normally is like, "Eh," and right now it's like, "Uh."

This... I'm only responding with my face to your face.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi, Valerie.

So good to see you.

Hey, Emmy. How's it going?

Hi.

It's good.

I stopped at Bay Cities. Got some sandwiches.

Hope that's okay.

Yeah, of course. Yum.

I love Bay City.

So good.

Even if you never use a dark room again, remember there is no iPhone app for good composition.

Please, if you take away anything from this class, if you take away one thing, don't take pictures of your food.

Seriously, nobody cares.

[school bell rings]

All right, guys, have a great break.

♪ ♪

Yes?

♪ ♪

You could just drive straight through.

You know, keep going. Take out a few of them.

Come out the other side.

♪ ♪

So what's the game plan?

Just enjoy yourself.

It's like Christmas morning at the nursing home.

I thought you said you didn't celebrate Christmas.

Mom said the elves were sharecroppers.

Oh, Grinch.

Oh, God. Is that...

Gary.

Gary?

Yeah, he used to sleep with our mom.

Gary.

And who might this be?

Lucille.

My wife.

You poor woman.

Shall we?

[sighs]

You smell that?

Desperation?

Formaldehyde.

Look at them.

Like heathen monks.

They have no idea what's coming.

One second.

Yeah.

Hey.

What?

I'm just gonna hang out over here.

And miss out on all the fun?

It's not fun, okay?

They're gonna break me down just like they did at Thanksgiving.

Val, that was an ambush.

A coordinated att*ck on the homeland, and now we have the upper hand.

Okay, well, they're our parents.

They're not enemy combatants.

And don't you want to expose this marriage for the sham that it is?

Yes, of course I do.

Then commit.

You know what?

I've got my speech. You get a thing.

Are you really gonna stoop to their level?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Emmy! My goodness!

You look radiant.

[laughs]

All right, battle stations.

Valerie, my sweet daughter.

Is Laura with you?

No, she had exams, so... she's coming tomorrow.

Soon the healing can begin.

Alex.

Father.

Oh, this is a pleasant surprise.

Oh, I owed it to you.

You don't owe me anything, but I do appreciate your presence.

Well, after Thanksgiving...

I hate to interrupt, but I'm about to start a card game.

I'm assuming that you're not interested.

No. No, I'm not.

You're not a gambler.

Listen, I respect that.

Some people might call you a coward, but there is a kind of honor in playing it safe.

The hiking trails are just miraculous.

We should all take an afternoon stroll to ground ourselves before the ceremony.

Okay, well, that sounds good... for you, not so much for me.

Alex and I actually...

Quick change of plans.

I'm gonna play a little card game.

Oh, how wonderful!

Valerie, now you can come on the hike.

I can't 'cause I don't have the right shoes.

Oh, it's an easy walk, dear.

You'll be fine in your boots.

It would mean so much to me.

Great.

[Michael speaking indistinctly]

[light instrumental music]

♪ ♪

There's eight of them, besides myself, and photography, sculpture.

Well, deal. So 7:00? Silver Lake?

See you there, okay? Thank you.

♪ ♪

Bet.

God damn it.

Ah.

Stay calm, Gary.

Conserve what little strength you have left.

Keep talking.

Happily.

So you guys all go way back with Dad, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Should we share some stories?

What kind of stories?

Oh, any kind of stories are great.

It's just fun to reminisce, you know?

Like, did you know Marjorie Appleton?

Alex, please, don't start.

She lived on our block.

Well, she did until he decided they should run away together, and he gave her... every dollar we had.

She did leave, but not with him.

That was an awkward family dinner that night.

We had rice.

[laughter]

You always were a dreamer, Chuck.

Never let life get you down.

Right? Appreciate it.

And look at you now.

Getting married, surrounded with family and friends.

A toast to you, you crazy son of a bitch.

[laughter]

Thank you, Sammy. I appreciate that.

What a pleasure.

Mm.

All right.

I bet.

Raise.

Ooh.

Ooh.

You think I'm bluffing?

I don't pretend to know what you're thinking.

Well, sometimes even a blind pig finds a truffle.

I'm all in.

[laughter]

Okay.

♪ ♪

Call.

♪ ♪

Straight.

♪ ♪

Hard cheese, old boy.

Flush.

♪ ♪

I'll take what he's got.

♪ ♪

Listen, do you have a five for the tip?

The boys cleaned me out.

♪ ♪

Thanks, man.

♪ ♪

So you don't support my wedding?

No, it's an affront to my childhood.

Alex, that's a little bit much, isn't it?

What do you want?

I'd like you to be my best man.

Are you high?

Look, I've been trying to come up with a way to ask you since Thanksgiving.

I just couldn't quite find the words, that's all.

I don't even know you.

What are you talking about? Of course you know me.

I mean, you never wanted any of this.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm getting a little bit soft in my old age, or some of the regrets haven't faded the way that I thought they would.

Regrets? Right.

You got everything you ever wanted.

[chuckles] Hardly.

Listen, I understand that growing up in our house was a little bit... different, and I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes.

I know that.

I can understand why you might resent me for that.

I'm sorry for Thanksgiving.

I know that I haven't always been there for you, but I'm proud of who you are.

I'm proud of who you've become.

[sighs]

And all I'm asking is that you be the bigger man, and you be there for me.

♪ ♪

Do you really want me to walk you down the aisle?

I don't know how this is supposed to work.

Neither do I.

Well, we'll find out together.

♪ ♪

There you are.

Just inhale that sense of accomplishment.

What you've done is admirable.

It's a hike, Mom.

I mean showing up at our wedding when you're, well, transitioning.

I admire your courage and appreciate your support.

Well, Mom, I just want to support you the same way you've supported me all these years: By challenging every decision I've ever made.

Should we head back down?

Will you just admit that I'm right?

That marriage can work?

I never said marriage couldn't work.

Just that yours wouldn't.

When you got married, you were a wandering child, grasping for someone else to make you happy.

I was 23.

I bet Alex is looking for us.

Exactly. A child.

I'm a mature woman choosing to make a deep connection with someone I love.

You called marriage "choiceful imprisonment."

And now I'm wise enough to make that choice.

Oh, well, why change the thinking when you can just change the narrative, Mom?

Valerie, how do you expect to grow when you're carrying all this negative energy?

Grow?

You haven't grown.

You've gotten older, so now nobody else will f*ck you.

We're here to celebrate, you know?

Be happy.

Nobody here is happy.

All those years... whoring it up with anybody who was willing...

Being open is different than whoring around.

I'm sorry, how is Jake?

Frankly, that's none of your business.

Well, when it concerns my brother, it actually is.

He has no problem with it.

I really don't know why you do.

I'll see you at the bottom.

♪ ♪

The desire for love is a powerful thing.

If you force him to choose, he may not choose you.

♪ ♪

Hey.

Hi.

So the strangest thing just happened.

Your sister needs help.

What?

I mean, yeah, she does, but what do you mean?

Well, she obviously does not want me here.

I mean, maybe I should just... should I just go?

Go? No.

I want you here, and she will too once she gets to know you.

She'll love you.

Aww, you're delusional. You know that, right?

Well, if I knew it, I wouldn't be delusional.

Okay.

Would I?

Hey, I'm sorry she's being difficult.

She... it's her first wedding since the divorce, and it's our parents, so... she'll be better.

Yeah, or she'll get blackout drunk and cause a ridiculous scene.

Oh, we can only hope.

[chuckles]

[muffled pop music]

[Michael speaking indistinctly]

♪ ♪

What were you thinking about?

Huh?

In the photo.

That's you, right?

I was thinking how great it would be to hang on the walls of an amateur art gallery.

Amateur?

Have you seen my painting?

It's cute.

I remember when I discovered Rothko.

That's cold.

I'm Nick, by the way.

You're Laura, right?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Stalker.

♪ ♪

Nice eye, Nickoli.

["Happy Together" by Mel Torme]

♪ ♪

Hey, there you are, old boy.

Listen, you're up front with me.

♪ Imagine me and you ♪

You okay?

I'll be fine.

He'll keep me company.

Come on. Up with me and your mother.

♪ It's only right ♪
♪ To think about the girl you love ♪
♪ And hold her tight ♪
♪ So happy together ♪
♪ If I should call you up ♪
♪ Invest a dime ♪
♪ And you say you belong to me ♪
♪ And ease my mind ♪
♪ Imagine how the world would be ♪
♪ So very fine ♪
♪ So happy together ♪

Hi.

Hi.

Can I buy you a drink?

It's an open bar.

Good, I'm on a stipend.

Hi, could I have a martini straight up, please, with m*therf*cking gin?

♪ The skies will be blue for all my life ♪

Two of those.

Um, I just...

I'm very sorry about earlier.

I...

I shouldn't have dragged you into that.

Maybe you should talk to somebody.

You know, just talk it out.

I don't know.

I hear therapists are crazy.

Thank you.

Keep them coming, sir.

Thank you.

And the stronger the better.

You really want strong?

I do, actually.

Oh, look at you.

I always come prepared.

Scouts' motto.

♪ For all my life ♪

What, pray tell, is this little misdemeanor?

That is MDMA.

That's happiness in 100 milligrams.

It's been so long.

Since you did ecstasy?

Since I was happy.

Hey, folks.

I promise to keep this short.

Oh, God.

The opus.

Should we stop him?

No.

They deserve it.

So I have hated my parents for as long as I can remember.

Some nights, I'd look up at the ceiling, the grunts and moans echoing through the house, and I'd think to myself, "If only a meteor would come crashing through our roof and reduce us all to dust, then maybe, just maybe, I'd get some peace," but that meteor never came, and... [chuckles] they just kept going, and going, and now here we are, 45 years later, and they're getting married.

I...

What can you say?

They did it.

They endured.

[gentle music]

While most of us drift away from the ones we love, they came back together...

♪ ♪

And that's something worth celebrating, so... congratulations on your wedding.

I wish you two the happiest of unions.

We should all be so lucky.

[scoffs] No.

To Mom and Dad.

[applause]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[laughs]

This song is so great.

Oh, it's so great.

That DJ is great.

He is so great.

He's so good.

He's really good.

You know what else is also great?

What?

dr*gs.

[laughs]

dr*gs are great.

No, I mean they're really great.

Mom!

Oh, sweetie.

I love you.

Are you all right, dear?

Yeah, Mom. We're on ecstasy.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves.

♪ ♪

You're fun.

You are fun.

I am fun?

Hey, guys.

Who wants drinks?

Do you want a drink?

No, I'm good.

I'm gonna go outside.

We're... I want to go outside.

We're gonna go outside.

Yeah, we're going outside.

Bye bye, best man.

Uh.

Oh!

♪ ♪

You think they'll sell enough art to pay for this party?

I don't see any red dots.

Drink up before they cut off the wine.

Ugh, does this even qualify as wine?

They paired it with the art.

[laughs]

[light instrumental music]

♪ ♪

So do you live nearby?

Yeah. Atwater.

♪ ♪

You think your walls are better decorated?

Do you like Bob Marley and "Scarface" posters?

Please tell me you're kidding.

[laughs]

[muffled dance music]

What if she was right?

Who?

[insects chirping]

My mom.

All this time just... railing against her, punishing her for how she raised us, and... blaming her for how f*cked up we are.

What if she was right all along?

Relationships don't... they don't exist in the world of right and wrong.

They just... you know, they work when they work, and... they don't when they don't.

When did you decide to be open?

I disappointed a lot of people.

I couldn't be what they wanted me to be.

Then I just...

I don't know, I just stopped pretending.

[light instrumental music]

Maybe that's what your parents were doing.

Then why get married?

♪ ♪

Then why get married?

Why not just... leave it at that?

♪ ♪

[sighs] I don't know.

Maybe it's like what you said.

They're just... they're old, and they're scared of being alone.

♪ ♪

I don't want to be alone.

♪ ♪

["More, More, More" by Andrea True Connection]

♪ ♪

Hey.

Drink for my best man?

Yeah.

Two whiskies.

♪ ♪

Oh, boy.

Well, that was a wonderful speech you gave.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

I just want to tell you how honored I feel to have you participating in this beautiful event.

Well, I'm happy to be here.

Truly.

Of course, a party like this doesn't pay for itself.

♪ Get the action going ♪

I could use a helping hand.

♪ Ooh, how do you like it? ♪

A helping hand?

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

A check just to help cover some of the expenses, that's all.

♪ Ooh, how do you like it? ♪

What expenses?

Dinner, the cake, this lodge, the church.

♪ How do you like it? ♪

So everything?

Alex, your mother wants her dream wedding.

We shouldn't disappoint her.

♪ Ooh, how do you like it? ♪
♪ How do you like it? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

No, we shouldn't.

♪ How do you like it? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ How do you like it? ♪
♪ How do you like it? ♪

Hey, what are you doing?

Leaving.

Not with him.

You got a problem?

She's 16.

Jesus Christ.

What?

Think I'm embarrassed?

You should be.

You're gonna have to try a lot harder if you want to b*at your top score.

What am I supposed to say?

That I wasn't crazy.

You're young.

These feelings are fleeting.

Yeah, you're old, okay?

And denying what you felt doesn't make you a good guy.

You know what?

You're right.

Let's do it right here.

Did you want to f*ck in the bathroom?

Or do you want to go out back and do it in the alley?

f*ck you.

You can tell all your little friends about it.

Is that what you want?

Would that make you happy?

You don't belong here.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

Alex.

Oh, my God.

Emmy's not in here, is she?

No one is.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I mean, just... nothing.

That sounds suspiciously like something.

♪ ♪

I took ecstasy... with Emmy, and... things got weird.

How weird?

♪ ♪

She took my hand like this...

♪ ♪

And then...

♪ ♪

[gasps]

[sighs]

[whispering] Jesus.

[door opens]