01x05 - The Host

[bunniefuu]

[Deadite Lionel roaring]

[Fisher yelling] Hello.

[Roaring continues]

[Groaning]

Who the hell are you?

I'm your new best friend.

[Ruby grunts]

He's behind all of this.

Maybe we could help each other out.

Let's get this m*therf*cker.

Oh, sh*t! His real hand.

I hope your weird Brujo uncle can help us out.

I'll look inside of you.

You want me to take an acid trip?

Oh, no, you...

[grunting]

Uh, everything all right in there?

[Growling]

Who's f*ckin' with who now, huh?!

[Kelly gasping] [Ash grunting]

[Pablo grunts] [Ash yells]

Kelly: And then he started speaking in tongues, and-and it looked like he was having a seizure and then, that's when he grabbed me by the throat, and started to strangle me.

And the name of this demon, are you sure it was "Eligos?"

I'm positive, because he said it just like that.

He said, "I am Eligos..."

[muffled talking]

And that was right before his eyes went completely black, and then you guys came in, thank God.

[Muffled] f*ck, what a story!

What a f*ckin' bullshit story that is!

Oh my God.

Ash: I would've never...

It must've gotten inside Ash back at the book store.

And that's why we never fool with demons.

Your Uncle Esteban fooled with demons, and look what happened to him.

[Eerie music playing]

Disgusting.

I just don't understand why we didn't see it sooner.

Nothin' to see.

Eligos is a demon of the mind. Yeah.

He's a manipulator. Uh-huh.

He snare your friend after the summoning, and slowly worked deep into his brain, until the vision quest popped him up to fruition.

No, there's nobody inside of me!

You must be right, I mean, look at how...

[muffled talking continues]

He's reacting to what you say.

'Cause you're f*ckin' lyin' through your teeth!

Pablo, take Kelly, get me boiling water, chicken, and my 10 inch Ginsu.

'Kay, the one with the carving blade, not the bread Kn*fe.

Ash: The f*ck are you gonna do with that?

Okay. Hey, repita a mí...

[Ash continues indistinctly]

[Pablo sighs]

Not the bread Kn*fe. Okay, good.

The bread Kn*fe was expensive.

I don't wanna ruin it.

[Muffled talk] Oye, Tío.

Ese mi amigo.

What are you gonna do to Ash, huh?

Brujo: I'm gonna try to exorcise this monster before it's too late.

With a Kn*fe? If it comes to that, yes.

With a f*ckin' Kn*fe?

I'm sorry, I just wanna be 100% here.

You're gonna cut Ash with a Kn*fe?

What kind of f*ckin' witch doctor are you, man?

Possessions can be physical, as well as spiritual.

I know somethin', Kelly. For example, there's a lobe in the brain where such demons can be festering.

The lobe can be removed.

All he's gonna lose is just his sense of smell, and any feeling of pleasure from the waist down.

What?

You're cuttin' my balls off?!

[Mumbles] Oh, no.

Okay, what happens if you can't get the demon out that way, huh?

Then I will do what I must.

Okay?

Esto es lo que te estaba enseñando toda tu vida.

[growling] [eerie music playing]

[In deep voice] Your soul will be mine.

I'm sorry, Ash.

Her eyes just turned black!

Do you hear me?!

She's a f*ckin' demon!

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Crows cawing]

[Door opening]

I'm not a little kid, yeah.

It's like, "Oh yeah, go get the boiling water, and the chicken carcass, and the Ginsu Kn*fe."

Man, he took every single one of those items without even lookin' at me, once.

Pablo... I mean this is shitty.

It's like I feel like I'm the sous-chef of his exorcism kitchen.

Pablo.

Oh, man. Exorcisms are the worst.

This is bad.

My Uncle Esteban had an exorcism once, and that sh*t was straight up scary.

Pablo! Whoa!

You need to calm down.

How? Can-can you tell me?

How can we be calm when Ash is clearly...?

Ash is the one who wanted to summon the demon in the first place, right?

[Speaking softly] Yeah.

You trust the Brujo, don't you?

Yeah... Then you need to let him do what he does best, and what we need to do is just stay calm.

[Kelly snaps fingers] We need a drink.

[Kelly chuckles] Alcohol?

Right now? You want alcohol right now?

Oh, why not?

Nothing we can do until the Brujo is finished with Ash.

Well, what do you mean "finished?"

You know... healed.

Right. [Kelly sighs]

Any idea where he keeps his stuff?

Man girdle, okay.

Extra large love glove.

[Pablo chuckling]

Gross.

Weed! [Giggling]

Ash was holdin' out on us, huh?

[Kelly sniffing]

It is not bad.

Yeah, I don't know that um, getting high is the best plan for right now...

It is absolutely the best plan.

Go find us a pipe.

[Whispering] ¿Por favor?

[music playing on radio]

This is some bullshit.

Just relax. It's gonna take a minute.

There's a k*ller on the loose, and I'm sittin' here waitin' for this decomposed hand to lead me to him, and by the way, I'm not in the mood to relax.

[Fisher sighs]

Okay, how's the possession work anyway, and how does Ash create those things?

I used to be like you.

What is that supposed to mean?

I used to think everything had to be orderly.

Logical, life should make sense the way I thought it should make sense.

So you don't believe that things should make sense?

Amanda... you know how respiration works?

Air travels down into your... lungs, and oxygen and CO2 are exchanged.

I passed sixth grade science.

But when you were a baby, did you understand?

Of course not.

Of course not, 'cause you were not concerned about the logic of things.

You just kept on breathing, and that's what I want you to do.

Just, just keep on breathing, okay?

[Fisher gasps]

Hello.

[tires screeching]

Oh, uh, what are you doing?

[Inhaling]

I got sick of waiting.

Oh, don't worry, my cousin used to get high this way with his soldier buddies in Iraq.

Ah, well, it-it seems like it's dangerous.

It's not loaded... but I am.

[Kelly laughing]

Did you change?

Join me.

Okay, full disclosure, weed makes me really paranoid.

So, why don't I just grab a, um, Mountain Dew?

I'll pound that, and it'll just give me a really nice buzz and...

Come on, just one hit.

I'll make it worth your while.

[Whispering] Come on.

Ooh.

Damn, oh, yeah, ah... yeah, oh-okay, that sounds good.

So... I- I think I know what's happening here, and um, I um...

[Pablo claps hands]

I've been, I've been, I've been wanting to umm... get closer to you, for a really long time now, so...

[shotgun thumps] [gasps]

[Speaking softly] How close?

Like really close.

Like you know, more than friends?

Is that something that you want?

[Lighter clicks]

Yes.

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Pablo chuckles]

[Speaking softly] Nice.

[Heavy breathing]

Brujo: Tell me, Eligos, how do you feel about sanctified charms?

[Ash sighing]

Huh.

They usually inspire more rage than that.

To the blood ritual, then.

Pablo: I just-I just wanna make sure that we're on the same page, you know?

Like I'm just, I'm just checkin' in, you know?

Makin' sure that you're heard and-and...

[speaking softly] You wanna be with me, right?

Like boyfriend, girlfriend?

Same milkshake, different straws.

Maybe share a p*ssy, cat?

Yes. [Lighter clicks]

I wanna be with you.

[Whispering] Bad.

Uh, 'cause you know, I can see what's inside of you, Kelly, and I want you to know that I think it's beautiful.

[Kelly laughing]

What's inside of me, Mm-hm?

Cannot wait, to tear you up.

Now... stop wasting time.

Oh, do you remember the first time we met?

You knocked on my door, and you asked me, uh, for some cold medicine, 'cause you were all s-snotty?

And then you sneezed on me.

I wanted to kiss you that day, so bad.

[Kelly laughing]

Oh, you.

You are just so sweet.

Now take a hit. [Pablo sighs]

And then, after you do...

[Pablo clears throat]

Mm-hm? You can kiss me... anywhere you want.

What about right there?

Boop.

You wanna kiss my forehead?

Well, most guys would look past it.

Fine.

[Suspenseful music playing]

Just take a hit.

Okay, um...

Oh, hey, how about we um, you know, set the mood a little bit?

I know this really great Taylor Swift song called...

Shh!

[Speaking softly] No, no.

Now, put your mouth on it.

Oh, God.

Actually you know...

I guess I'm just not sure if I'm ready.

[Shotgun clicks]

Just suck it, you bitch! Oh, sh*t!

[Muffled grumbling]

¡Espíritu mistico! [chicken clucking]

Oh, for God's sake! I said...

I'm not a demon.

Kelly is, and she's with Pablo right now!

[g*nsh*t fires]

[Kelly grunting]

Oh, sweet mother of Manson!

Pablo, that's not Kelly.

[Grunts] Pablo?

I can't.

[Kelly growling] [Ash groaning]

Oh, God damn it, I just taped her up!

[Whispering indistinctly] Vete de aquí...

[indistinct chatter in Spanish]

Out, Demon!

I command you! [Chicken squawking]

[Roaring]

[Kelly laughing maniacally]

Why ya hidin' in there, tough guy?

Why don't you come out, fight me like a man?

[Snarling]

[Chuckling]

[suspenseful music playing]

[Kelly's teeth clicking]

[Gasping]

[Teeth cracking] Hmm... ah!

[Kelly spits] [Ash gasps]

[Hissing] Vete de aquí.

[growling continues]

[indistinct whispering]

Abre.

¡Vamos Eligos, abra la boca!

[growling continues] Aceptad.

¡Abre, abre!

¡Abre! [snarling]

[Gulps] [growling]

[Snarling continues]

[Swallowing]

[Stomach gurgling] [Kelly grunting]

[Growling, vomiting]

Oh, sh*t!

When you get back to hell, work on your aim.

Vete de aquí, todo.

[Kelly snarling] The sanctified water, will do it. [Kelly growling]

Ha, your charms won't save you!

[Kelly laughing maniacally]

[eerie music playing]

[Snarling continues]

[Kelly groaning] [posts rattling]

[Wailing]

Espíritu Santo.

[hissing] [wailing continues]

Espíritu...

Bendita agua.

Expúlsalo.

Out! [Kelly groaning]

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Groaning continues]

Well, we've all been there.

[Whimpering]

[Gasps, chuckles] [panting]

[Suspenseful music playing] [snarling]

[In deep voice] Do it again!

[laughing maniacally]

All of it.

Kelly, it's me.

Or... do you wanna do it this time?

You wanna hear me moan, don't you?

[Growling continues]

[Kelly spits]

[Pablo gasping, shrieking]

[laughing maniacally]

The girl has suffered enough.

[Kelly groaning]

[laughing continues]

Stop!

Stop!

Kel?

[Groaning continues]

Yes. You gotta fight it!

[Growling continues]

Stop, I know you're in there!

Look at me.

You can do it, Kelly.

It's me. You can do it, Kel, please!

Please fight it, Kel.

[Groaning]

There is no Kelly anymore!

Sorry!

You're lying! Kelly, I know you're in there!

Pablo, vamos. Please!

Fear only makes the demon stronger.

Yeah, ya think?

This one's for you! [Groaning]

Pablo, the girl.

This is all my fault.

I should've never let them summon that demon.

This is what I get for walkin' away from my calling.

I'm sorry, Tío.

I'm-I'm sorry about everything, please.

I know you're sorry, and I am sorry too for pushing you away, but perhaps you were meant to leave.

Ash has the light of a Jefe inside of him, deep, deep inside, so deep, and somehow, you still found him.

[Sighing] Ash.

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Speaking softly] This demon is never coming out.

Please.

There's only one way to put an end to all this Ash, and you know it.

What are you talkin' about?

You have to k*ll me.

The demon's gonna do it anyway.

Please.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

Just put a cross on my grave, okay?

Kelly's Jewish.

[Growling, chuckling]

f*ck you!

Aww, can't blame a demon for trying!

The demon is taunting us by slowly, and painfully k*lling the host.

The only choice we have is whether to finish her quickly, or let the demon tear her apart right in front of our eyes!

Or we give the demon another host.

What?

The demon wants someone who's vulnerable, and isn't gonna fight back.

No.

Pablo, stop.

She's gone too far.

Brujo: I could lose you again.

We've done everything we can.

[Kelly growling]

[In deep voice] Hi sweetie.

Take me instead.

Take me!

I'm a willing host, and you'll get no fight from inside of me!

Pablo, it's no use.

I take her place!

I command you now!

[Snarling] Oh, sh*t!

It's gonna take a lot more than that to get me to stop, dickhead.

[Growling continues]

[Pablo gasping]

[suspenseful music playing]

Pablo! Oh, good God!

Don't get too close to her!

[gurgling] [Kelly groaning]

[Yelling]

Pablo, get out of there!

[Pablo grunts, yells]

[Eligos snarling]

[Both panting]

It's that same son of a bitch!

[Snarling continues]

Hey.

We gotta do something! No, no, no, Pablo, don't, don't, don't!

You saw what it could do!

Kelly!

[Roaring]

Oh! I got him now.

sh*t! [ Brujo yelling]

[Buzzing, zapping] [roaring continues]

Tío, watch out!

[Yelling continues]

[Grunting] No!

[Air whooshing]

[Action music playing]

[Eligos snarling]

Voice of Ash: You sh**t first and think later or don't think at all.

[voice echoing] Yeah, sh**t first, think never!

sh**t first, think never.

[Eligos' snarling continues]

[Roaring]

[Both gasping]

sh**t first, think never.

Noted.

Hey.

[Kelly grunts]

Ow.

Oh, where the f*ck am I?

[Kelly groans]

What happened?

[Dramatic music playing]

[Pablo sighs] [crickets chirping]

[Lighter clicks]

Goodbye, Tío.

You always tried to tell me, how the world really is.

I should've listened sooner.

Qué descanse en paz, El Brujo.

I'm sorry.

I wish that you could come with us, and help us fight this thing.

[High-pitched sound]

Brujo: Depende de ti.

Estoy contigo.

Cuídate.

Confía en ti.

[Gasping]

Ah, f*ck! sh*t.

I mean thank you.

I won't let you down, Brujo.

[dramatic music continues]

[Singer vocalizing]

[Speaking softly] Thanks.

So, are you okay to travel?

That was some pretty gnarly stuff back there.

I think I'm good.

I mean, I don't remember much though.

I have an image of us arriving, and then, nausea, and then... I don't know.

My mind goes totally blank after that.

It's probably a good thing.

Why? What happened?

What did I do?

It was nothin', you spit out a couple of teeth.

I think they were wisdom teeth, so they were comin' out anyway.

I got a spare set of dentures there if you need 'em.

[laughs] I'll survive.

Thanks though. [Door opening, closing]

Pablo: You guys.

I think El Brujo was tryin' to give me a sign from, wherever he is, or just tryin' to burn the hell out me,

'cause this thing is still really hot.

[Ash sighs]

Hey buddy, I'm really sorry about your uncle.

I'm sorry to both of you.

I feel like this is all my fault, and I have no idea how to stop it, and it doesn't feel very good.

Oh, come on Ash.

You?

You're not responsible.

Oh, he definitely is though.

Like, like 100%.

You know what? Probably more.

I like you better when you were possessed.

[Kelly laughing] Yeah, me too.

Um, wow, I must have been a pretty good time.

Kind of were.

Hey, Ash, I made a little somethin' for ya.

What?

Well, it's not rosewood, but um, maybe it'll help, you know?

Two hands on the wheel, right?

[Hand clicking]

It's a work in progress, but check it out.

You can make a fist with it.

Oh... oh, yeah, baby.

[laughing] Thanks, guys.

I'm gonna shove this right up some Deadite's ass.

Hi-yeah!