07x09 - Cold as Ice

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "The Vampire Diaries"...

Alaric's babies are the future of the coven.

They would have protected them in any way they could.

They're inside of you.

I totally get that if you want to run for the hills.

I'm not going anywhere because I love you.

Marry me.

Yes!

I got Valerie pregnant in 1863.

Julian b*at her until the baby was no longer alive.

I want him dead, Damon, now.

He took her child from her, and you would side with him?

No. What are you doing?

This doesn't represent our love.

Nora!

Our mother went out of her way to forget us forever.

As far as I'm concerned, she deserves what she gets.

You're either a Salvatore, or you're one of us.

You are wrong, Julian.

Aah!

Lily!

Damon.

Say something.

You made your bed. Have a nice nap.

Stefan, you can't go.

She has Damon and Caroline.

Because she wants you.

Well, then she's gonna get me.

Oh, and I, uh, b*rned my Porsche, so I kind of need to borrow your car.

I'm coming with you.

No, you're not.

Stefan.

She already has two people that I care about.

I'm not gonna let her have a third, ok?

If anything happens to you, I will rain hell down on anyone responsible.

Don't be so dramatic.

I'll be back before you know it.

Well, this it?

This the whole funeral party?

Where's your girlfriend?

Not your concern.

Trouble in paradise?

What about Julian? Where is he?

I haven't heard from either of them in days.

I sided with Lily, or did you forget?

It's just us.

Beau couldn't bring himself to say good-bye.

I'm sure he just couldn't find the right words to say. Heh.

All right. Let's get her done.

Wait. We should say something.

No, we shouldn't.

Yes, we should.

When I was a girl, I loved my mother deeply.

She loved me, too, until she found out about my little siphoning problem.

If she only knew that was just one of the things that made me different.

When she turned her back on me, I thought I'd never find that kind of love again.

You proved me wrong.

Thank you, Lily.

Next.

You knew me at my brightest and my darkest.

No matter what my mood, you always saw the light in me.

I'll miss you, Lily.

Cream violets.

You remembered.

Of course I did.

Thank you.

We'll leave you two.

Well?

How many times do you get a second chance to deliver your mother's eulogy?

Good point, brother.

How's this?

Ahem.

Lily, you were a terrible mother when you were alive, and you were a terrible mother when you were dead.

You're right. It does feel good.

Huh.

I'm so sorry.

I promise I'll make this right.

Last year, we filled 10 crates.

This year, I am aiming for 20.

You know, compelling people to donate doesn't actually count as donating.

Wait till you see me.

I popped this week.

I have a pot belly.

Yeah? Put on a Santa hat, you'd fit right in here.

Sure you don't need me over there?

To do what? Come to boring birthing classes?

You're chasing after an immortal jerk who basically k*lled your mother.

That's much more important.

I can handle this.

Of course you can.

Caroline?

You still there?

Yes. Here.

How are you?

I'm good.

I'd be a lot better if my traveling companion would actually stick to task instead of stopping by every single bar we pass by.

It's a pub crawl, Stef.

That's the whole point.

Don't be such a Grinch, or you'll get coal in your stocking.

And that's my cue. I'll call you later.

"Hey, Stefan. Did I mention Bonnie saw me mix a blood bag with a jar of mayonnaise at 2:00 in the morning?"

Ok. One, that was marshmallow fluff, and, two, I'm feeding for 3 now, so I get cravings.

Fair. Why not just tell him?

Because he doesn't need to worry about the specifics of my magical pregnancy with Alaric's babies.

Words that should probably not be spoken at that volume.

You ready to go to this class?

Now I am!

You know it's a birthing class, right, Caroline, and not SAT prep?

You sure you can handle this on your own?

If you can handle all of this while pregnant, I can handle a fraction of it while not.

Go to your class.

That was the least graphic one I could find.

Study up.

So what's it gonna be...

Uncle Stefan, unkie Stefy?

Hmm.

I got it!

Creepy dude who hangs out with mom who's not dad.

Ooh. See, the thing is, she's not their mom.

Oh, come on. It's Caroline.

You think she's gonna turn those kids over to a functioning alcoholic with no supervision?

Whatever she wants to do.

So diplomatic.

You're gonna make an amazing not-father.

It's kind of your thing, isn't it, hmm?

What's that, Damon?

Just barely not being a father.

Oh, wow. You know, in these last few weeks, your jokes, they've gotten quite sad.

You know what? You need me, little brother.

Sucks for you, but Julian's almost 500 years old, and you ain't taking him alone, no matter how many vervain darts and stakes you have on you, hmm.

What I need, Damon, is your actions, not your words.

Sounds like you should have brought Beau then.

I'm here to help. Trust me.

I got more vervain syringes and grenades strapped to my body.

One wrong step, and I'm vampire shrapnel.

Relax. Eggnog?

Julian's not here if that's what you're worried about.

Is he coming back?

None of your concern.

I left a few things.

I'll just grab them and be on my way.

Have you seen her?

We've spoken.

This is your fault, you know, this fracturing.

Yeah. If only I hadn't fallen in love and placed my pregnant womb in front of Julian's boot.

Sticking to your story, are you?

It's not a story.

Even if by some stretch of the imagination it's not, the timing is awfully suspect, isn't it?

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you had over 100 years to tell this story, and you only did once you were back in Stefan's life, till it served you, gained you sympathy.

And I always thought you were the nice one, that you had a heart deep down.

Guess I was wrong.

Nora will blossom without you.

You appear tired.

Nora. How unexpected.

What are you doing here?

Uh, I have a toy for a tot.

You shouldn't have.

I didn't actually.

It was a passive aggressive gift for when Mary Louse came crawling back to me, but that hasn't happened, so...

Still very generous of you.

I know.

Ok. You delivered it. Yay. That's the end.

But how will the tot know the toy's from me?

I'll tell them.

And you're still not leaving.

I want to be more involved.

See, I recently enrolled in classes, and...

You're going to school here? Why?

Because I was curious about college and, well, Mary Louise hated the idea, so...

Spite. That's a good reason for higher education.

Look. You clearly need help.

Not from an evil heretic who kidnapped my friend.

Are you going to let that old news get in the way of a little charity?

And I'm evil.

Collection booth.

The far one, like, way over there.

Yeah. You see it? See?

♪ I hear the sleigh bells a-ringing ♪
♪ Got to think about you and you ♪
♪ I hear the people singing ♪
♪ We can sing along, too ♪

Just so we're clear, me helping you k*ll Julian is your Christmas present, so don't be expecting any socks or a TV or anything.

Yeah. Well, we got to find him to k*ll him.

We will. Bonnie did the locator spell, and she said Sunbury.

We're in Sunbury, so...

Oops.

I'm dry.

Pit stop.

♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Oh oh ♪
♪ I, I love you so ♪

Merry Christmas, brother.

Think we found him.

Gonna be a lot of disappointed faces Christmas morning.

Yeah, well, maybe if we hadn't stopped at every single bar for eggnog, we could have done something about it.

Yeah, and maybe been two more bodies in this pile.

What are you trying to say?

I'm not trying to say anything.

What I am saying is maybe we should just take a little bit of a b*at, you know?

I mean, look around.

Julian is clearly off the proverbial rails here.

What? Since when you do you think logically?

Hi. I'm level-headed Damon.

I only come out when Stefan goes a little cuckoo, and since you're letting your mommy and could-have-been-daddy issues drive you right now...

So you don't think that Julian deserves to die?

I do 100% but not if it means us dying, so I think we should just stop and think about some backup.

You are my backup.

You're just terrible at it, and if Julian's off the rails, then good.

It means he's careless.

I mean, look at these wounds.

They're fresh, which means he's obviously still in town, so either you help me find him, or...

Don't be so dramatic, Stefan.

I got this.

Hello, Damon.

Bon Bon, sorry to do this to you, but...

What a lovely way to be greeted.

"Hi, Bonnie. I need something."

Well, isn't it so great to feel loved and needed?

So Julian.

Yeah. I've already done a locator spell.

Yes, yes, you did, which led us to this Santa-infested hell hole, but is there, like, a way to do, like, a zoom-in spell or something maybe a little more accurate like an address or...

It doesn't work that way, Damon.

Right. Well, here's the deal, Bonnie.

Stefan's here, and he's being kind of a crazy person.

He's breathing down my neck, and I was just kind of hoping you might have some information for me, you know what I mean?

Hmm.

Actually, there might be something I can do.

Brilliant.

I'll text you in a bit.

Look at me, pulling my weight.

And what if no matter how much you plan your water breaks at home?

Coat... note the color, odor, amount, and time, keep your birth plan on hand, and call your care provider.

Wow! Someone really dug into that suggested reading list.

Well, yeah. I hope everyone did.

It's a baby.

I mean, each and every one of us are bringing a life into the world.

That is a huge responsibility.

Encouraging words, Caroline, as always.

Thank you.

Ok. Let's pick this back up next time.

Don't give me that look.

What look?

That is a "your hormones are making you crazy because you are pregnant" look, which I will have you know is really just a man's attempt to minimize the gift that our bodies bring into this world.

"A feminist guide to pregnancy," chapter 4, page 43.

Actually, I believe that particular quote is found in chapter 3.

What? You think I'm not gonna read every book that you're reading?

Isn't he a professor at Whitmore?

Yeah, and she's a student.

What? Is everything ok?

Yeah. It's just my vamp hearing is working a little too well lately.

What do you want to bet she's doing really well in his class?

Uh-oh.

No. It's ok.

They're just having a difficult time with the subtle realities of the 21st century, where families come in all shapes and sizes.

I think I should explain it to them...

Caroline...

That I have a boyfriend, and while he may not be the father...

Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, your eyes, your eyes.

It's just the... hormones.

Here you go.

That's your gift, stickers?

Did you stop by the gas station on the way over or just fish them from the rubbish?

Professor Dowling or Markus?

Excuse me?

You're taking freshman English, right?

Who's your professor?

Please tell me it's dowling and not Markus.

I can deal with difficult people.

Oh, I know you can, which is why I'm saying take dowling.

I don't want professor Markus to end up dead.

I'm joking.

Sort of.

Let me guess.

Hot cocoa and vervain.

Close. Bourbon.

I'm sorry I was harsh earlier.

I heard you listened to Valerie and that you sided with Lily against Julian.

I mean, you must be attempting to turn over a new leaf, and you clearly don't have anyone else.

Lovely. A pity friend, just what I always wanted.

College can be lonely and terrible, or it can be fun.

A pity friend is still a friend.

What do you need from me?

Excuse me?

I wasn't born yesterday.

It's all right.

I want to do some charity.

I might as well start.

Have you heard of a town called Sunbury?

So when do you think this denial phase of yours is gonna come to an end?

What? What are you waiting for, Stefan?

A breakdown, a teary, emotional, "I'm sorry.

It's all my fault"?

Well, you're gonna be a long time, bro.

Yeah. I just refuse to believe that you care so little about your own flesh and blood.

Why is that?

Death doesn't erase all the crappy things she did, Stefan.

If anything, it lets me care about her even less.

Hmm.

Oh.

Hello, boys.

If you'll just pardon me a moment.

What are you doing?

I seem to have misplaced my cellular telephone.

These things have a way of, you know, jumping out of your hand and just...

Scurrying off.

Oh. Stop looking.

Here it is.

Well, I feel stupid. Don't you feel stupid?

Hmm.

Because, see, Stefan and I thought you had some really great maniacal plan, but turns out you're just a drunk sorority girl who ruins everyone's night by losing her cell phone.

Well, it has been a rough few weeks for all of us, I suppose, after what we went through.

We?

Hmm.

What do you mean by "we"?

Well, you lost your mother, and I lost the love of my life.

She meant nothing to you.

She meant everything to me!

Heh heh heh.

Sorry.

Oh. Yes.

Do you remember this sword?

When you, you know, drove it through my chest?

You didn't quite have all the pieces together, though, did you, literally?

See, when a vampire is stabbed through the heart with, uh, the completed sword, it acts as a magical conduit, transferring their spirit into this...

Particularly nasty stone, and the purpose of the stone is to punish vampires like you boys.

Every sin you've committed goes into creating your own little personal hell.

I spent over 100 years trapped inside.

Pbbb. 100.

Then Lily saved me.

And for the briefest of moments... ohh...

I had her back in my life.

So... she was the only thing that kept the madness of the stone at bay, you know, the only thing that kept me...

Sane.

Wait. That was you sane?

Well, it was, but, uh, now...

These have been dark days for me.

So then they followed him to Ridley Park, old Saybrook, and finally Sunbury.

They need to leave immediately.

Julian is not one who enjoys solitude.

Those towns are places he used to live.

Then I remembered what my old life looked like.

And I... I realized...

I mean, it was a good life.

I was surrounded by the people that I cared about...

My friends.

Two, two.

Heh heh heh.

Raphael here I met in Florence in the 1600s.

He was a painter, terrible painter, though, but a painter.

Oh. Dirty Robin I found in a convent in Massachusetts in, uh, 1802, was it?

Hmm. She loved those nuns.

Seth over there, I rescued you from a claim jumper in California during the gold rush, and, xi Nguyen, I met you last week actually in Portland.

Now I know you two have been following me for quite some time, right?

I hope it wasn't for nefarious reasons.

Well, that depends.

Is k*lling you nefarious?

All right, guys. Listen.

I'm sure we all miss Lily.

Well, most of you.

You guys in particular, but I'm sure wherever she is she's looking up and thinking, "I wish those boys wouldn't fight."

I'm not going anywhere.

Good.

Hmm.

Good.

Fine. Plan "b."

Booze-soaked flammable costumes.

Can I have one of the boy toys?

Of course you can.

You can be anything you want.

Don't let society tell you differently.

What? Surprised I'm not massacring the leukemia patients?

It's still early.

Christmas was always my favorite holiday.

When I was growing up, it was much different than all this.

I would have been happy with a hoop and a stick, but still, being surrounded by your loved ones...

This looks just like her.

What?

You and Mary Louise broke up.

She made her choice. It was a bad one.

But...

No buts, ok?

You need to move on and become your own person.

You can only do that if you're living in the present, not the past, which means you need to stop thinking about her and talking about her, ok?

She's dead to you.

Am I?

Can we talk?

Ohh! I was two seconds away from tearing their heads off.

They were jerks. They deserved it.

Oh, I've needed this all day.

Yeah, you and me both.

Do you think this is ok for the babies?

Caroline.

I'm serious.

What if blood is like alcohol?

What's if it's bad for them?

Look. If it's good for you, how can it be bad for them?

I don't know, but you don't know either because there's no studies on this, there's no books, there...

Look, Caroline. You're doing a great job.

Would you stop saying that?

But you are.

I mean, do you realize how happy you've made me?

I mean, this is a miracle.

You've turned my life around.

I said stop!

Ugh!

Unh!

I... have to go.

Caroline!

Well?

Well, what?

Are you going to apologize?

Am I going to apologize?

For what?

For telling me that you would marry me and then throwing the ring I gave you back in my face.

Oh, you mean the ring that Julian gave you?

Is that what's bothering you?

He's the reason Lily is dead.

No, he's not.

Julian is just as upset as any of us.

Valerie's story is responsible.

You still believe him.

He's a liar. Why can't you see that?

If I say he's a liar, can we go back home?

I'm tired of fighting.

So am I.

I'm done, Mary Lou.

Ok. It... it's over.

You've been wanting this for a long time, haven't you?

Almost like you've been planning it all along.

You're paranoid.

Am I? It took you no time to enroll in classes, move into a dorm, make friends with our enemies.

Have you been following me?

I've been following someone, but she certainly hasn't been acting like my girlfriend.

I wanted to do something different with you actually.

Yeah, but you're too scared to go out into the world, too scared to change.

You think I'm scared to play Santa for some pathetic humans?

And when was the last time you even did any charity?

I don't know.

Hmm?

Probably when I started dating you.

Ok. So we reload, we figure out a way to separate him from his friends.

We do no such thing.

We get in the car, and we go home.

What? What are you talking about?

He's building a small army back there.

He's obviously up to something.

He's getting wasted with his friends.

You're delusional. Trust me.

That... that is a hornets' nest, and take it from an expert, you do not want to kick it.

You of all people should not be the one to give up.

You're the reason that he's alive and she isn't.

What kind of backwards-ass logic is that?

Because we would have k*lled Julian the minute he showed up into our lives, but no.

You wanted to punish Lily with a long con, didn't you?

She punished herself with a short stake.

Huh. You know, for weeks, I've been watching you, I've been trying to catch even the slightest bit of regret on your face.

Regret for what, Stefan?

She was dying, Damon.

How difficult would it have been to say something nice?

Well, I didn't want to lie to the woman.

All she wanted was forgiveness, and you practically spat in her face.

She didn't deserve my forgiveness.

What, because she made some mistakes, or is it because she didn't choose poor you over Valerie?

Giving her a hall pass like always, her little angel.

You acted like a spoiled, little brat, a coward.

You had a chance to make things right, and you still do.

Road trip's over, brother.

You want to go back and risk it, go for it.

I'm going home.

Please tell me this is the Julian is dead call.

I wish. I'm headed home. Damon bailed on me.

And here I was looking forward to leaving all this behind me.

He thinks I'm overreacting.

Any reaction is appropriate when it comes to what he's done to us.

I am sick of everyone giving this monster a pass.

I should have gone with you.

We could have ended this.

We still can.

Have you seen Mary Louise?

♪ dashing through the snow ♪
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪

I've been here all day.

You'd think that would earn me better service!

I think you've had enough.

You have no idea how poor your timing is.

You sure about that?

You look like you could use a friend.

Things with Nora didn't quite work out, did they?

♪ Bells on bobtail ring ♪

I would hold your tongue if you value its existence.

And I would not make threats when there's a cloaked heretic behind you.

Payback's a bitch.

Stay with her and make sure she's unconscious until Julian's dead.

Guess it didn't go well.

She called me a charity case.

Why don't I get you a tissue?

Oh, it's all right.

I used one of your hideous tops.

Which is now your hideous top.

Can I ask you what might seem like a mean question?

Fire away. It's not like I'm in a fragile state or anything.

What do you see in her, aside from the fact that she looks like a blond Angelina Jolie?

She's loving, protective, kind.

But just to you.

That's fair.

She does always think of me first.

Maybe I'm spoiled or old-fashioned, but it's nice having that one person who doesn't need anything from you, who just loves you and thinks you're the most amazing, beautiful girl in the whole world, you know?

Maybe... maybe you don't.

I don't need someone to tell me I'm pretty.

Nobody needs it.

That doesn't mean it doesn't feel good to hear it.

Thank you for today.

You're a very kind person and...

Beautiful.

Even if you do wear hideous tops.

I guess I was wrong.

What?

You and your friends are not kind at all.

I'm sure there are places that would have loved those as a donation.

Back so soon?

That tends to happen when I'm threatened.

Where is she?

I'm not exactly sure who she is.

Don't play dumb.

I got your brother's text message.

I was told to come alone.

I am here alone.

Now where is Mary Louise?

Stefan kidnapped Mary Louise?

Ballsy.

I just spent two hours crammed in a small metal tube, flying across the country to be here.

It was hell.

Hmm.

But that is just a fraction of the hell that this sword will put you in if I don't get her back.

Look, Jules.

You and I, we got no beef, ok?

You didn't k*ll my baby, and I don't blame you for Lily's death.

It was her own stupid fault.

Kindly do not speak that way about your mother.

Let's just stick with Lily.

Mother's incidental.

Right. I forgot.

You don't care about your mother.

Look at you not caring as you burn her clothes, attempting to erase every trace of her existence.

I needed space in my closet.

See, I always knew that her love for you would get her k*lled.

It was toxic.

No. It was nonexistent.

Heh. It's easier for you to think that way, isn't it?

Because then you don't have to take any responsibility for her death.

She k*lled herself.

Because she couldn't turn her back on you.

Funny, because I would have had no problem turning mine on her.

I don't know what your hell will be, but I hope she's there.

Hi, mom.

I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you.

That sucks.

♪ I wandered the streets... ♪

I still got you something, two somethings actually.

I will spare you the details of how because honestly I am sick of talking about it, but it's happening.

I'm pregnant.

♪ Faster and faster... ♪

I used to picture us having this conversation.

It looked different obviously.

I was a human carrying my own children, and you... were...

♪ I make my way... ♪

You were alive.

I know they're not mine...

♪ I make my way... ♪

But they're still my responsibility, you know, and I want to...

I have to do this right.

♪ But I'll find a way ♪

And I have no idea what I'm doing.

And all I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions.

God, I miss you.

Thought you ran away.

Heh heh heh.

In my own house?

I'm twice your age.

I could take both of you.

Well, you could certainly try.

Aah!

I would have k*lled you on sight if it weren't for your mother.

I respected her.

Clearly the feeling wasn't mutual.

Unh!

Stefan!

No!

Now I'll run.

Damon?

Who's there?

Oh, my God.

Damon wanted me to let it go.

I should have let it go.

I couldn't.

She was your mom, Stefan, and if you think it's easy to let something like that go, take it from a girl who just got back from her mom's grave, it's... it's not.

Let's figure out a way to save your brother.

♪ silent night ♪
♪ Holy night ♪
♪ All is calm... ♪

Oh, she's not answering.

We need to call Valerie. Stefan?

He's not gonna make it in there.

Yes, he will.

That stone is punishment for every bad thing you've ever done.

This is Damon.

I don't even want to know what he's going through.

♪ Silent night ♪
♪ Holy night ♪
♪ Shepherds quake at the sight ♪
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

Hey. He can survive this.

Even if he can, he'll be different...

Just like you.

Unh!

♪ Sleep in... ♪

Stefan!

♪ Heavenly peace ♪
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪