02x06 - How to Make God Laugh

[bunniefuu]

[classical music]

♪

[traffic honking and rushing]

Mr. Pembridge?

Mr. Pembridge? Mr. Pembridge?

I'm just a little delicate.

How was your flight?

Oh, which part, sitting on the tarmac in New York for three hours or spending the night on a marble floor in Houston?

Morning, darling.

Did you sleep well?

Like a princess.

Mm, that's not what it sounded like.

Why, was I snoring?

Mm, yeah, just like a little squirrel I had when I was child.

It was like...

Oh, no. Come on, stop.

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

No, don't be. Mm-mm, you're adorable.

You're just... You are adorable.

Hmm... and you are a wonderfully unexpected surprise, but you probably should get going before somebody sees you.

Well, if I'm such wonderful surprise, why should I sneak out of your room like a peasant leaving his master's dacha?

That's ridiculous.

[knock on door]

There's a... oh, God, oh, hide.

Hide under the bed.

I'm a man, I'm not gonna hide under the bed.

Then... then... then get in the closet.

Pavel, Pavel...

No, okay, will you...

Please, we'll talk about it later, okay?

All right, come... coming.

Oh, Thomas, you made it.

Oh, tell that to the hotel.

They've given away my f*cking room.

You know, I haven't bathed or slept or had a decent meal in the last 48 hours.

I'm totally shagged out.

I mean... and to boot, they lost my suitcase.

I'm sorry, darling, but do you mind if I just put my head down for five minutes?

I don't... oh, I'm so tired.

Yes, yes, you should rest.

Get some rest because our meeting with Delgado is not for three hours.

Oh, well.

Yeah.

Not good form to keep a billionaire waiting, huh?

No.

Don't forget to wake me.

Nope.

Hey, meet me in the lobby at 6:30.

We got a cab to the restaurant.

Perfect, can't wait.

Maestro.

"Hai Lai," awesome playing last night.

Thank you.

It was sexy, but it was not together, not together, eh?

And well done for not eating those carnitas, Bob.

Yeah, that was also not together. Dee Dee, what's up?

Checking out the Frida Kahlo museum.

Man, that lady does some tricky sh*t.

Yeah, yeah, check out... check out the [inaudible].

Whoa, baby. [inaudible].

How are you doing?

Good, yes. Hey. Muy bien. _

Do you want to hear what we're doing today?

Yes, tell me. "Hai Lai," tell me.

Okay, first we have a press conference until 11:00.

Then you have a photo op with Miss Cancun.

Is that Miss Cancun?

That is.

Then you have the big meeting with Juan Luis Delgado.

Then you have the... _

Gracias, gracias, mucho gracias.

Then you have the meet and greet with the Pumas soccer team, and then you have dinner the mayor.

Hey, hi. "Hai Lai," do you know how to make God laugh?

You tickle him.

No, no, you don't tickle him because he's not ticklish.

Everybody knows that.

I'll show you how.

Come, come, come, come.

Wait, where are you going?

Come, "Hai Lai," come, come, come.

"Hai Lai, Hai Lai."

You're getting on the bus?

[mutters] yes, yes, yes, come, come, come.

"Hai Lai," you're just seeing the little tip of the iceberg.

Mexico's this amazing, vast country, so rich, so transversal, so contradictory, full of mythology, full of an amazing narrative.

I think you will appreciate it.
Look, look, that guy, that guy, for example, the chubby guy?

Yeah.

He's Tlaloc, the god of rain.

Oh, he reminds me very much of this god we have in my country, the great god SpongeBob.

Oh, it's so good to see you smile, "Hai Lai."

I smile.

No, you've been a little bit, you know, grouchy recently.

Yeah, it's my fault, okay?
I put you to work a lot, but today I'm taking you to a very special place.

Where?

Home.

[phone rings]

Well, how's my favorite hard-ass lawyer?

How's it going, world traveler?

You know, honestly, I can't wait to get home to you, but the show last night was amazing.

Oh, I know.

The Latin rhythms, I mean, you totally nailed it.

I was smiling the whole time.

Right, what are you talking about?

I was there.

[laughs]

What are you doing for lunch?

Where the hell is Rodrigo?

You've got to be patient, Gloria.

It's hard to be king.

No, I think I'll rock the track suit one more day.

Apparently Virgil saw Rodrigo and Hailey leave the hotel over an hour ago.

They jumped on a bus?

Oh, great.

Well, that's okay.

It's just you and me, baby.

Come on, let's go, just like the old days.

[mariachi music]

♪

[sighs]

Hello.

Welcome, Ms. Windsor. This way, please.

Wonderful.

Oh, God.

Come, Thomas.

You don't think we're gonna be whacked, do you?

Señora, where are you taking us?

Mr. Delgado will join you in under one minute, Madame.

[helicopter blades whirring]

So Maestro was too busy to join us? Unfortunate.

Oh, he sends his deepest apologies.

A matter of urgent personal importance came up.

Of course. Tell me, what is her name?

Oh, you know the Maestro?

I want to thank you, Juan Luis, for meeting with us.

As you know, we have a proposition.

It's a beautiful country, yes?

You know, Ted Turner has about 2 million acres, which is nice if you didn't have 3 million like I do.

Oh.

Okay, you see that down there?

Do we have a choice?

That is where I'm creating the largest mestengo sanctuary in the entire world.

It is my pride and joy.

You call them mustangs.

Wild horses.

"Couldn't drag me away."

Ah, you like the Stones, huh?

They played at my daughter's quinceañera.

Well, Mick played at my wedding with half the bridesmaids.

Definitely got a bit of satisfaction there.

Not to drag you two wild horses away, but, um, everyone knows that MexiMundial is looking to penetrate the American market, and if you should decide to buy the naming rights to our new symphony hall, we could create a very lucrative synergy between our two brands.

Yes, Si, no, what you are saying is... it's very practical.

My marketing team will be very pleased.

Oh, yes, of course, what... but the cross-promotional opportunities...

Gloria, shh, please stop.

Quit while you're behind.

You're right, wild horses need sanctuaries, but so do wild artists.

Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, they were all geniuses, sure, but they needed men of great vision to bring their genius to the rest of the world.

Do you mind if I plug in?

[classical music playing]

See, you don't buy bloody naming rights for some cross-promotional bullshit.

You do it to let the music live.

"La Boheme."

"La Boheme," beautiful, and your name should take its rightful place along the great patrons in history, Emperor Franz-Joseph, Cosimo de Medici, Juan Luis Delgado.

Juan Luis de Medici, I like it.

Oh, f*cking A, you do.

You're pretty crazy, huh, Pembrook?

Yeah, Pembridge, actually, but yes, crazy like a fox.

[laughter]

You know what?

I say we make this beautiful music together.

Yes.

♪

I thought that you grew up in Mexico City with Manu.

Yeah, I grew up with Manu, but then, you know, we would get into so much trouble, and my parents send me here to my grandmother's right here.

Is she still alive?

Ho, she's so alive.

You'll see. She's, like, incredibly alive.

Okay, I got it.

It's so beautiful.

You like it?

Yeah, it's, like, from another time or something.

Yeah, it's like this since I was a kid.

Hey.

_

I didn't have the courtesy to tell you that I was coming.

Ah, perfecto.

[classical music]

♪

I wish that we'd come here before the performance.

Why?

Because I would have played it with a different feeling.

Better? Better than you did?

Ah, she wants us to go to the market and get some meat, which is cecina, and two onions and some avocados, and don't let me choose them.

Eh, abuelita, [speaking Spanish].

Can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

Seducing the union committee chair, is that standard negotiating procedure?

Honestly, I've never done this before.

You don't believe me.

I don't know.

I mean, you seem like someone who plots out every move.

Oh.

Which is not a criticism.

Well, you're right.

Normally I have everything all worked out, but, well, something about you makes me want to improvise.

[phone ringing]

Bob, hey, I was just about to call you.

Uh, I'm in the lobby. I'm early, I know, but whenever you're ready, no pressure.

Uh, you know, I'm...

I'm just not feeling well.

I'm in bed, but you should go.

Take Dee Dee.

Well... Have fun.

I'm not gonna go without you, Cyn.

I don't even like Mexican food.

I'm sorry.

I... you know, maybe next time.

Feel better.

Good night.

I feel terrible.

He got this reservation at this great place, and now he's not even going.

What place?

Uh, Limo...

Limo Cineros?

Si.

Oh, my God, that place is supposed to be amazing.

Oh, there's no way we're giving up that reservation.

Chin-chin.

It was just like the old days, Thomas. You were soaring.

Mm, just another bloody lion in winter, darling, but hey, listen, I appreciate it.

Thank you.

Excuse me just a moment, all right?

I'll be right back.

We just sat down.

The girl's room.

You gonna powder your nose?

Ooh, what a nice ass.

Hey, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby come here.

Pavel, can't you see I'm busy with work?

Ah, yes, you're very busy with the old man.

I thought we were gonna spend the afternoon together.

And we will.

Yeah?

Thomas and I were just having a celebratory drink.

We landed Delgado.

Wonderful, then I join you.

I...

Oh, I see.

I'm sorry I'm not one of your rich donors or dissolute ex-conductors you flirt with for money or influence.

Don't make this a class issue.

In my country, I'm biochemical engineer.

Pavel.

Ah, no more words.

You know what this is? This is the place where I met... where I met Maestro Rivera, around here.

In this market?

Yeah.

In the market?

I used to come with... yeah, with some friends, you know, play music, and then...

[speaks Spanish]

And then... and we... you know, this guy comes up and says "I've got a music school.

Are you guys interested?" and then started to talk about Mozart.

Oh.

And that's how everything came about, okay?

Nope.

How many did she...

You really don't know how to choose an avocado?

Ay, "Hai Lai," honestly?

You have to... okay, take this.

You have to pull out this part, and if it's green, then it's ripe.

And then what?

And then you buy it, and you eat it.

And then what?

And then... [laughs]

That was the most delicious meal.

Muchos gracias.

Ah, you are... welcome.

[speaking Spanish] Bien, bien.

Should we help to clean up? _

[speaking Spanish]

Ah, wait, wait.

Is something wrong?

No, no.

See, she's reading the cup.

Okay, well, if I'm gonna get hit by a bus, she really doesn't need to tell me, so...

I... ay, ay, "Hai Lai."

Yeah?

She said... okay, she said many things.

She said that there's a lot of love and confusion and passion for music, and that we are gonna have a big career, and you especially.

You're gonna... like, yeah.

That's great.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, thank you so much, but these are too beautiful.

I would... you should keep them.

Gracias.

Thank you.

You are welcome.

I wanted to play the French horn, but my mother thought I'd rupture a lung, so she bought me a piccolo, and the rest is history.

So your mother bought you your first piccolo?

I know, believe me, I know.

You know, we've worked together for ten years.

We've never had a Mano-a-Mano moment.

Gracias.

Why is Mexican food so much better in Mexico?

Gracias.

Gracias.

Holy shite.

So this is awkward.

Oh, good.

Well, thank you for sparing us the "It's not what you think" line.

I thought you were in bed.

I was.

She was.

Oh, yeah, in bed?

Oh, the two... wow.

I guess maybe that makes us piccolo brothers.

Cyn, can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Excuse me.

Thanks. Excuse us, Counselor.

Well, I wonder what that makes us, Mr. Pembridge.

Since when?

It started a couple of weeks before we left on tour.

Look, it really has nothing to do with you.

Yes, it does. She's our negotiator.

She's supposed to be representing us, not sleeping with the boss.

You should know better, Cyn.

I don't need a lecture from you, Bob.

I get it.

You don't need anything from me. Come on, Thomas.

Let's go find another place to eat.

Yeah, of all the taquerias in all the towns in all the world, huh?

Yeah.

[man speaking Spanish on TV]

Come, come.

You're gonna sleep here tonight, okay?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Wow.

It's amazing how similar your room is to my room growing up.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, except I didn't have soccer.

I had a lot of Backstreet Boys, and I had a Chopin bobble head, so...

What did you expect my room to be like?

I don't know, cooler?

"Hai Lai," I'm sorry to burst your bubble.

I'm a nerd just like you.

Buenos noches.

[classical music]

♪

All the donations have helped a lot to change the place a little bit.

We have here the washer and dryer.

Huh, the... yeah, finally somebody appreciated it.

And my room is totally reconstructed.

My new library, my new bed, the TV, and it's... it's very cozy, isn't it, Hailey?

It's very cozy.

Ah.

Come, come, come to the royal box.

["Danzón No. 2" playing]

♪

[music stops]

Bueno.

¿Listos?

♪
♪

♪

Gracias.

I... Maestro, I...

I can't because I have the orchestra, and they need me.

"Hai Lai," she's one of our youngest members.

She needs me, and...

Hey, "Hai Lai," I am very sorry.

For what?

Eh.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 115 Lina Americana, nonstop service to New York City's John F. Kennedy airport.

We will be taking off shortly.

"Hai Lai?"

Oh, hey.

Hey, how do you feel?

Uh, I feel good.

I feel a little wiped out, but...

No, yeah, but I feel I caught something.

You know, I might have... have something here.

I'm sorry about what happened with Maestro Rivera.

Yeah, that was awful, right?

Ugh, that was really bad.

Yeah.

Do you remember when we went to my grandmother's house, that we went to my room, my... when I was a kid?

Yeah.

Full of posters, you know, and we made the bed togeth...

Yeah, no, I remember. It happened.

It's not our real lives.

I also... I realized that you're a really shitty translator.

"Hai Lai"?

What... could you tell what my grandmother was saying?

Yeah, two years of high school Spanish goes a really long way, it turns out.

Ay, "Hai Lai."

It's okay, father of my children.

Ay, no. I...

We have a really long time.

That's what the coffee grounds said.

Excuse me?

Yes?

Sir?

Yes?

Sorry, you have to go back to your seat.

Ay, thank you.

Well, "Hai Lai," see you... see you there.

Okay.

Look what I found in...

Oh, it's lovely.

It's a good picture.

Arts section.

Hey, good review, man, nice review.

Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]