01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

Garvey, what are you doing?

Argh!

See, no-one else sees it.

Same as when he saw her at the barrier, the two of them, eyes locked. I was right there, he knows it.

We have got to stop selling our hair to the humans.

Soon we will have nothing to do with any of them.

Come and see me. Now is a good time.

It was a trap. She made out she had the hots for you but the whole time she was delivering you to me.

You can still get through this.

Aargh!

You are not retired.

Get him out of there.

Hello.

Hello, darling.

On, look, thank you, beautiful.

Hope you're going to pay my gym fees, I'm going to be getting fat on all this.

That's lovely, thank you.

Hello.

Morning.

They're glad you're back.

Why would they not be? Man of my charisma and good looks.

Oi!

Listen, before I forget, Lewis, as far as Gaspard and the boys are concerned your mother is an alien, OK?

I don't want your unique back-story getting out, it's between us.

Got it, yeah.

Er, listen, any sign of that girl?

What have I told you about her?

Forget her, I have, I was just asking.

Exactly, have you listened to anything I've said?

About the alien mum thing?

You see, if this was to get out, if this was to get out on the human side.

I know, I know.

Son, you don't know, you don't know at all.

If an alien crosses them, they take them and they lock them up in hell.

And I know that for a fact, because they done it to me.

They're not going to go easy on you just cos you're half, either.

Cos all of their shite is based on them being the special ones, them being better.

And you are living proof that they're not and they will k*ll you for that.

Do you understand?

Yeah.

They will k*ll you.

All right, I'll see you soon.

Look after yourself, all right.

Yeah.

All right?

Shitty part of the job, eh?

It's gotta be done.

Look, look, I could have let him die, OK.

I wanted to set you up against Fabien.

It still would've worked, yeah, but I made sure that you lived.

That's all I'm saying to you.

Yeah, I could make you a nice Thank You card.

I called you. I called you.

Yeah, you called me when they were already torturing him.

Sort of takes the shine off it, don't you think?

No. Look, he cares about me, OK, he cares about me.

If you k*ll me, he'll find out, yeah?

What's he going to say? What's he going to say?

Wait.

Now, you are going to get out of Troy.

Going to leave the logistics to you.

If I see you or even hear of you, me and you are coming back here and we are going to finish this dance off, do you understand me?

Mm-hmm.

Good girl. Now jog off.

♪ Na na-na na na na-na ♪
♪ Na na-na na na na-na ♪
♪ Na na-na na na na-na ♪
♪ Na na-na na na na-na ♪
♪ Plug me in and turn me on ♪
♪ Listen here cos here it comes ♪
♪ Got hot licks on your guitar strings ♪
♪ Riffs and rhythms and guitar thangs ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive... ♪

Alien league. Alien solidarity. Alien league. Alien solidarity.

Out the car.

Cheers.

Hey.

Whore.

Oi.

What did you say?

You said something. What did you say?

You all right, mate, do you need a bit of help?

You all right? you need some help...

Hello?

Is that you? Come in.

Just doing a bit of team building.

Probably best not, all right. I know where that hand's been.

This is Gaston. And that's, uh... that's... Bernard?

You know the blonde bombshell here.

Antoine's taken another house.

Is that right?

Yeah, I'm just wondering what your move is.

If we leave it much longer it might be too late.

Look, people working for you are already vulnerable.

Watch the leg!

I told you -- I said to every one of you coming in, I'm carrying an injury.

f*cking talking to the walls.

People are counting on you. I am.

Fabien?

Fabien!

You are ruining my orgy.

Antoine's back.

Antoine, f*ckin'... peoples' choice.

You can take him.

Sssh. Stop, would you? Things went tits up.

What am I supposed to do, tie myself to the mast?

I made an informed choice to engage in some X-rated adult fun.

That's my move.

Join in if you want. You'd be more than welcome.

Oi!

Did you piss in my trainer?

What? Get off, get off me, get off...

I'll have that shoe, give me that shoe.

Hey!

He pissed in my trainer. I'm going to piss in his shoe.

I didn't piss in his trainer.

Why would he piss in your trainer?

I don't know, cos he's a sneaky little bitch who disapproves of my methods.

Thumping people isn't a method, is it?

Give me that shoe.

Hey. Hey! Hey! You three-year-olds.

Am I really going to have to open a full investigation on this?

Garvey, did you piss in his shoe?

Who else would do it?

Truss, shut up!

Yes. It was me. I did it.

If you piss in someone's shoe, you are..

Oh, here he is, here he is.

All right, all right.

Give him credit where credit's due, please, thank you very much.

Credit where credit's due? There's no credit going on around here, I'll give him credit in his head.

This is over, right?

This is over.

This ain't over. You better watch your back.

Watch your back!

'Aliens are reminded to have ID tags with them at all times.'

Who's to say our forefathers suffered from amnesia?

We believe that they were brainwashed by humans to erase memories of a glorious civilisation on our origin planet.

Why did you piss in Truss's shoe? What was that?

Passive resistance.

'Tis better to burn your money than give it to the drug dealer.

Passive resistance? You think Martin Luther King went around pissing in people's shoes?

Can I just finish, there's a whole script they give us?

Script? What are you talking about? I just got humiliated in front of the entire checkpoint.

They make us spread the message of the Alien League to three non-members a day.

The Alien League is a group dedicated to raising alien consciousness... and dispelling...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I felt brave and then the feeling just went away.

Lewis. Sorry.

So, what do you want?

I want a job.

No, no, we're not hiring at the moment.

Are we all set?

Why not, then?

Because, it's not all walking around shaking hands.

It's not as easy as that.

I know what you do for a living. You sell dr*gs, yeah?

I know about dr*gs. You don't think I can't handle the rough stuff?

I'm around that all day.

The only difference is over there people wear uniforms and slap each other on the back.

At least here it's honest.

Son, there's so many things I love about you, and this is my favourite -- you're not cut out for this.

Look, I'll see you later, OK?

Organise to resist brutality.

No more tolerating v*olence against our people.

I want to meet.

'Oh, yeah? Great.'

Can it be like last time?

I know, why don't I hold a blowtorch to my feet while we're talking?

It'll be like phone sex, apart from my feet'll be on fire.

Your dad's kicking me out of Troy.

Good.

I'm, erm...

I'm, I'm leaving tonight.

Brilliant. I'm delighted.

What time, though? I'm going to have a massive party straight after.

I want to see you.

You choose where.

Please, Lewis.

I've thought about you a lot.

Yeah.

"How can I f*ck up this guy's life more than I already have?"

That sort of thing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

At first.

Different ways to use you.

I found out you were Antoine's son, so I used you to get to him.

When I got him out of prison, I used you to set him up against Fabien.

I know. I remember.

It didn't work.

Antoine's telling me to leave. Fabien's lost his nerve.

I have failed.

I've ran out of options.

I've ran out of ways to use you, so I don't need to think about you any more.

I just am.

I'm leaving at eight.

I'm not coming back.

I thought maybe...

.. you might want to come with me.

See what happens.

Right.

Every time I meet you there's a near-death experience around the corner, and now I'm supposed to elope with you to the wilderness?

The endless supply of ways you concoct to f*ck with my head.

I only know two things about you for sure.

You're dangerous and you're a f*cking liar!

I'll tell you what I am. I'm a product of this place, yeah?

If you grew up in Troy you'd be exactly the same.

No, I wouldn't.

Well, you're very special, then, aren't you, Lewis?

You're not.

You're a prick.

I knew I never liked you.

Uh!

Lewis Garvey, I'm arresting you on suspicion of trade in controlled substances.

All right, wait a minute.

Truss, you obviously have a lot of questions.

You do not have to say anything...

Let me know what it is.

I'm deep undercover. - .. but it may, it may, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, something you...

Can we just talk about this, please?

You know when I'll talk to you? When you're dead.

You drug-dealing scumbag.

You're supposed to be an officer of the law.

Stop it, please.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Border control! Official business!

sh*t!

sh*t!

Truss!

Yeah? That's right!

That's what I thought.

You morks!

Yeah!

Go, go, go, go, go.

I'm going!

What's all this?

Huh?

What's all that about?

I don't know what you mean.

Go left!

Get everyone together. There's a border guard in Troy.

Let someone who knows what they're doing have a go. Get out.

Hurry up. They'll be here in ten seconds.

And I'm going to be in the tunnel, halfway home.

They know us at the tunnel. If we go there, they'll be waiting for us.

We need to lie low.

Who knew you? I'm the one got recognised.

My God, man.

They didn't even notice you.

I impose myself on an environment. I make my presence felt.

Alpha dog, mate.

Not like you. You're a non-entity.

All right.

Why bother?

OK, there's a river of petrol flowing out here, by the way.

What?

You twat.

I'm the twat?

We're miles from the border and because of you we're on foot and I'm the twat?

Truss, would you, please?!

Yeah, what?

Every time you do that you're creating a breadcrumb trail of migraines leading straight to us.

Now, if you let me explain.

I'm deep undercover.

I've been sent to Troy to infiltrate the criminal underworld.

By coincidence, I also have a rare condition where the dog whistles affect me.

I'm an anomaly.

Ah!

No, you're not.

You're a mork.

Alien League!

We're after a human!

He's a guard from the checkpoint!

If you see him, shout out!

(No.)

Run!

'Come on!'

sh*t.

Get off!

Listen, listen. I know how to get you out of this alive.

How?

We have to make a deal first.

I don't make deals with morks.

Right, enjoy your trip then. Ta-ta.

Oi! Get yourself back here.

'You, check the shed!'

(Someone's there.)

Oh! Lewis!

Oh, sh*t.

You broke the toilet cleaner's nose.

Ah! I don't just clean the toilets.

Is there blood?

I thought you were one of the people chasing us.

I am. I told you that.

It's not just the Alien League, either.

Half of Troy's out hunting for him.

'Anyone see anything?'

They're going to k*ll him.

They're not going to k*ll him.

They're going to teach him a lesson.

k*lling him would be the opposite of teaching him a lesson. - 'Dom?'

That's Paulette. She's brilliant.

Really feisty.

'Who you talking to, Dom?'

I'm just talking to myself.

She calls me Dom.

Don't come in here!

'Why not?'

Because I'm naked cos I'm really hot from all the running and stuff.

Paulette, what are we going to do with him when we catch him?

Just out of interest.

'We're going to k*ll him.'

OK, great. I'll catch you up.

Tell me about this deal.

What's going on with your face?

Turn it off!

What's going on with his face?

He got in a fight.

Who with?

Bruno.

What you fighting about?

It's all right.

You can tell us.

What you fighting about?

Bruno's dad said that you're washed up.

And you're a p*ssy.

And that Antoine's running things now.

Yeah?

Where was this? On the recreation ground, was it?

Where's Bruno live?

Come on.

We can't be having fighting on the recreation ground now, can we?

Does he know?

Shut the f*ck up.

Know what?

That he's a mork.

Yeah, course I know.

Obvious, now I think about it.

Christ.

I ate my lunch next to a mork.

Well, he's half mork actually, as a matter of fact, so...

He's what?!

I'm sorry.

You're... Oh, my God. You're what?

Half, that's worse. You're an abomination.

Your mum and a mork...

That is grotesque.

Truss has sex with one of the alien cleaners at the checkpoint.

What did you say?

I have to clean up after them.

Which by rights she should do actually, because it's her...

Stop it! Stop! Else I'll shout, "Over here" and I'll fade into the crowd with my unmemorable face and you'll get ripped to pieces.

This is good. This is really good.

This way I have something on you and you have something on me.

Everyone's incentivised.

No, I'm not incentivised. I never shagged any mork.

All right, fine. You never shagged a mork.

Truss. You don't have any transportation, you don't know your way around.

We're your only hope.

He did shag a mork.

Is your dad a good idea?

I don't think this is a good idea.

Your what? Your dad?

Sorry. Sorry.

Watch him!

Right.

Everything OK?

Not in any sense of the term, no.

A guy I work with at the checkpoint followed me into Troy and tried to arrest me. And then people tried to k*ll him.

Which I saved him from.

If I don't get him back across the border, he's going to die.

I need your help.

He's here?

Yeah.

Hello, Mr Berry.

Antoine f*cking Berry!

Down on your knees.

What you doing?

Getting you out of a hole. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

No, not by you k*lling him. I wanted advice... No!

This is the only way, Lewis.

One word from him and they'll run your DNA.

You're going to hand your life over to him? Stop moving.

I'm not going to let you.

Yeah, well I'm not letting you k*ll him.

People get k*lled every day, son.

That is exactly what I was talking about -- that you're not ready to take on this job.

Which is good, don't get me wrong. I am. I'm brutalised.

It's what I do. It's just a matter of seconds, block it out.

Just look away.

Jesus Christ!

When are you going to wake up and realise you don't have choices.

OK, this is only going to end this way.

Truss, start running.

Go!

Twat! You nearly got me k*lled.

He saved your life. You should be thanking him.

f*ck that. He never saved my life.

He just wasn't man enough to watch me die.

It's completely the opposite situation.

What are you doing, Truss?

Taking control.

Why, you got another member of your crime dynasty family you want to let have a pop at me?

Ah, he's phoning his girlfriend.

You know, who, "There's no such thing as".

Babe, yeah.

Guess who it is. Yeah, li...

Yeah, listen. So... Ahem, you'll never guess where I am.

Troy.

Right. Erm...

So, erm... I'm, erm... I'm in a bit of trouble, as it happens.

And, erm... Well, I need a bit of help.

So...

So, Truss.

What you going to do now?

All right, Fabien. How's things?

Hiya. Is it all right if I come in for a sec?

It's just I'm hearing things about your boy and my boy had a bit of a set-to.

Just wanted to clarify a couple of things.

No problem, yeah. Get back in!

What I'm going to do now is, I'm going to drop you back home.

I'll be in the bathroom for a bit, yeah?

I'm going to have a shower and a nice, big, long sh*t.

Then I'll pop out again and I'm going to take care of a couple of things.

I don't reckon people saying rude things to you about your dad is going to be a problem again, what do you think?

Lewis, where are we going?

I hope it's my flat, cos I really don't want to go to where I think we might be going.

We're not going to your flat.

sh*t.

I bet she doesn't even open the door.

The border guard was seen entering this building.

To anyone who may be hiding him.

He may have promised you money.

You will not be collecting that money.

Now is the chance to change your mind, or suffer the consequences.

We'll give you ten seconds.

Don't.

Please.

Where are you going?

I'm having it out with Paulette.

No. Don't go anywhere.

No, I am. Someone has to take a stand.

"Going door to door."

In Germany, in the 1930s, there were people who went door to door.

And the name of those people was the Hitlers.

The Nazis.

The Nazis.

Yeah.

Was it the Nazis?

Yes, it was.

Right, we're coming in.

Please, Lilyhot, you've got to hide us.

This is the wrong decision.

Oh, I know. But still.

Oh.

Alien League. Open up, we're doing property searches.

Erm, what?

Mate, this is the worst hiding place in the world.

Go away.

No, they think I'm outside looking for you.

Oh, Jesus.

Shut the door.

Oi.

It'll be worse for you if you don't. Open the door.

Alien League!

Yes. Hello. Yes?

Alien League!

OK.

Open up, we're doing property searches.

I don't...

You going somewhere?

So, Alien League. I thought you guys were more like daycare centres.

Are you hiding anyone in this flat?

No.

If I find someone in this flat, there's going to be consequences.

Are you hiding anyone in this flat?

No, I'm not.

Is someone in there?

Yeah.

Show me.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be angry with me, Lewis.

There was nothing I could do.

We really need this not to get out OK.

He's got a girlfriend. I've got a husband.

Yeah, we just wanted to start a new life away from everyone.

Yeah, that's, erm...

That's what... the bag's for.

Yeah, when I first met her, I knew.

I mean she's not perfect and I'm... I'm bloody useless.

But we're each other's only hope.

And I love her.

Yeah!

Nice!

That guy, he didn't have a clue. I knew.

Oh, high five. One, two, three...

That's not how a high five works.

Isn't it?

Nope.

High five times? No?

She fell for it. You two.

Star crossed lovers, running away together.

What is the bag for?

I'm leaving, Troy.

OK.

OK.

That could be a really positive thing for you.

Lewis?

I'm going with her.

f*ck. No!

What about me?

You still want to get him over before we go?

Yeah.

You're a f*cking idiot.

Take my car.

And this is for the toll.

Yep.

You coming?

I don't want to help you any more today.

I'll be there, yeah?

OK. Come on.

I underestimated you, Garvey.

You're only little but you keep banging away.

I'm not going to lie. I did not expect to make it this far.

There's normally more people here.

I'll take you as far as the tunnel opening, OK?

All right.

Thanks.

Appreciate it.

It shouldn't be this quiet.

I'm just trying to open up to you here, all right?

But just...

Just go through that deal again, just so's I got it straight in my head, all right?

So, your dad's Antoine Berry?

Yeah.

Your mum's a human.

Was a human.

All this time you've been a border guard, you've been a half breed, mixed something.

I'm half human, half alien.

You're nicked.

Oh, for God's sake.

Contravening alien domicile regulations.

Out.

I'm the one with the g*n, Truss.

Yeah? You might as well have a chicken leg.

You haven't got the balls to use it.

I'll tell them about your girlfriend.

Which one's that? The one you made up from your sick pervert's mind?

Out of the two of us, who do you reckon they'll believe?

Get back in the car, Truss. I'm telling you, it's too quiet here.

It's too quiet? Yeah? And who are you, Scooby-Doo?

Oh, no, an empty caravan.

Truss. Run, run, run, run, run.

Stop!

Get off him. Get off him!

Truss, you unremitting d*ck!

When someone says "run", that's a generally agreed upon signal that you're supposed to run.

That's the hidden message lurking in there, mate.

Up yours, buddy.

I don't take orders from you.

sh*t. You've been stabbed.

I know.

I thought they were just punching you.

No, it was stabbing, you can tell.

Right, breathe. Just breathe.

Breathe?

Is that what you want me to do? Breathe?

I don't know. We'll get you to a doctor.

So, not just the breathing, then?

We will patch you up or something.

Look, I don't care.

Just head to the checkpoint. I ain't dying in this sh*thole.

I am. I will.

But, Truss, you need to tell me that you're not going to say anything.

I'm not taking you back until you tell me we have a deal.

All right. Here's the deal. You take me back...

.. and with my last breath, I tell everyone what you are.

I don't make deals with morks.

Just say the words to me. What is the matter with you?

Nothing, why?

What's the matter with you?

Oh, wait.

Yeah, you're a mork.

And a mug.

Were you going to run away with the woman you love, is it?

Yeah? Why? Cos people change?

Cos she's lying using different words?

You mug.

Female's a female. I don't care what they are, mork, human, mountain lion.

Ones like that, you turn around and tie your shoe, they will cut your throat.

Did you just stop this car? What you doing?

Don't you do that. You turn this key and you start driving, right?

You drive now! You hear what I'm saying?

Drive! Now!

Drive!

I'm not dying in this sh*thole. I hate this place.

I want to die somewhere norm... norm...

Just tell me.

Just say the words to me, Truss.

Oh, God.

It's time.

Just take me back. I'm not joking any more.

I'm at a low ebb.

It's OK.

Don't you touch me with your mork paws.

Ah!

Ah.

Oi.

Where do you think you're going? Oi!

Get back here! Garvey!

Ah! Garvey!

Give me the keys.

Garvey!

Take me back!

You're so fu... fu...

f*cked.

I'll take care of this for you.

Where you going?

Lewis?

Lewis!

You.

I was going to come. I was all set.

But it's been going round and round in my head.

Does she really want to go with me?

Or is she using me to get where she's going?

And then I realised, what is that?

I can't live life like that.

I could never trust you.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to be there.

Yeah, you're right.

I'd already changed my mind.

I'm not there either.

Look at that. Look at that cloud. Look at it.

Perfect cloud.

Like a cloud out of a book or something.

Yeah, nice.

I'm telling you.

Life.

Hey, stop!

You coming, or what?

You want to know the fatal mistake Antoine's made?

The fatal mistake he's made?

He's turned his back on us.

We've got him exactly where we want him.

Everything we've done has played into our hands.

You see, he's complacent, thinking he can stroll around, cos I'm the one with the sore leg.

He's under the misapprehension I'm taking a nap.

In fact, I'm coiled.

I'm coiled.

There's been a body found. They're saying it's Truss.

Tell me that's not a fur deal gone wrong.

Total scumbag.

Everything I go near gets wrecked.

I just want it done with.

Lewis.

I'm handing myself in.

Fabien says he wants someone taken out, he expects them to get taken out.

Do the hit!

All right.