07x17 - I Went to the Woods

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Vampire Diaries". Aired September 2009 - March 2017.*

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A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers.
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07x17 - I Went to the Woods

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on The Vampire Diaries...

The Phoenix Stone is stuffed full of vampire souls.

The Stone gives the Sword its power.

Stefan...


As long as I have this scar, Rayna will hunt me.

Rayna: What if I were to tell you there's a way for me to transfer it to somebody a little bit more deserving?

I'll do the transfer spell.

That is downright noble.

Right around the time Elena wakes up, I'll be dead. So will you.

You'll never see her again.

So you're not taking the scar.

I have a plan!

How far a... (groans)

We're too late because of you.

You'd let him down and choose yourself.

We were happy while your brother was gone.

Yes.

(groans)

Stefan, hey.

Where's the damn Sword?

Nora, don't!

There is no life without you.

(whimpers)

(screaming)

Damon: I couldn't save you, my brother.

I'm gonna make this right.

(people shouting) Help!

(gasps)

(glass tinkling)

(fire crackling)

(distant screams)

Man: Help!

Help...

Woman: Help!

(faintly) Help!

Help!

(sirens approaching)

(indistinct radio chatter)

(breathing deeply)

Easy.

Breathe slow.

Dizzy is normal.

And keep your foot off the ground, we're in a cold snap.

Weather folks say temperature's a record low.

What's your name?

I don't remember.

Let's take a look at you.

(inhales sharply)

Ooh, wow.

Whoever you are, you are one lucky S.O.B.

You're the first person I've met to survive a gash to the carotid.

Hey.

Take it from me, even heroes can't save them all.

What'd you just call me?

A hero.

That's what those cheerleaders are saying, anyway.

I'm keeping them at bay until I've ruled out concussive amnesia.

My name's Stefan Salvatore.

And there we go.

Do you know where you are, Stefan?

Yes.

I'm in hell.

(sniffles)

They didn't know.

Didn't know what?

That Rayna had stabbed Stefan.

That his spirit was already trapped in the Phoenix Stone.

They probably thought they were doing the world a favor.

Well, that's awfully generous.

Of you, not of them, considering they never gave a damn about anyone else other than each other.

So if you're done mourning Thelma and Mary Louise, I think we should get out of here.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

You could have prevented this.

All you had to do was take Stefan's scar and put your brother first, for once in your life.

Hey.

I'm trying to make it right.

Which is why we have to find Rayna and get Stefan's soul back in his body.

The Stone is destroyed, Damon.

And Stefan with it.

We don't know that.

Yes, we do, if we have logic and a sense of reason and a brain.

I see it differently, okay?

If Stefan's dead, then I'm responsible.

Which means I'm going to spend the rest of eternity haunted and doing penance and seeing my own self-loathing reflected in everyone else's actual loathing.

And I'm not ready for any of those things.

Ergo, he's not dead.

Try it my way.

It's less depressing.

I see I've been charitable in assuming you have a brain.

You can keep being a Debbie Downer, or you can do a locator spell and help me find Rayna.

What do you say?

Where are you going?

To do what you just told me to do.

Without you.

Invisique.

Really?

Really?

I don't get it.

My failed attempt at being a hero, the dead bodies...

What's the lesson here?

I'm not sure I'm following you.

I remember being stabbed by the Phoenix Sword, which means this is all some sort of looping nightmare, custom-made from my own psyche.

Maybe I was a little hasty in my check-up.

Can you look straight ahead?

I think I'm fine, I'm just...

I'm not in the mood for charades, all right?

Can we just skip to the t*rture, please?

Hey, officers!

Why don't we just get on with it, huh?

Emt: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sit down.

You are not making any sense.

Marty Hammond?

No, but okay.

That's what it says on this license.

Stefan: I believe you, but that's not my wallet.

Possible memory loss.

Have you been drinking, sir?

Oh. I get it.

I'm a vampire with control issues and alcoholism is a metaphor for my blood lust.

See, now we're getting somewhere.

Sir, could you stand up for me?

We going to a warmer hellscape?

Maybe.

First, I'm gonna have to ask you to walk in a straight line.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Matt... I need help.

Rayna?

You're the only person that I trust.

You put Stefan back in the Stone?

Yes, but...

Then we have nothing to talk about.

I did my part.

I'm out.

(grunts)

You don't understand.

Those b*tches destroyed the Stone.

He's free!

They're all free.

Wait. What are you talking about?

Rayna...

What do you mean, free?

Well?

Go ahead and answer him.

What do you mean, free?

♪ ♪

This is Valerie.

And now, you speak.

(beeps)

Valerie...

I don't know why you took Stefan's body, but if anything happens to... my brother...

Never mind.

(phone beeps off)

Officer: Nice work, Marty.

And back to me.

Rayna: I can hear them.

All the voices...

(gasps)

What are you talking about?

They're coming from everywhere.

(sighs)

What is this supposed to prove?

That you were under the influence when you were driving the bus.

What did you say?

When you destroyed the Phoenix Stone, all the souls inside escaped.

Scattered.

And I can hear them.

Alive.

Every one of them.

You're saying that every vampire you ever k*lled with that sword is now wandering the Earth?

What the hell happened to you?

I'm... not sure.

Stefan: I woke up in the middle of the road and I saw the bus on fire.

Yeah, you're a real hero, Marty.

Saving half the kids from the accident you caused?

Why do you keep calling me "Marty"?

I b*rned all their original bodies, which means the Stone's prisoners are in random corpses.

Vampire, human, it doesn't matter.

The spirits fled scattershot into the first dead piece of flesh they could find.

Remember anything?

No.

Nothing.

I'm sorry... do I know you?

Valerie: I don't give a damn about a bunch of old vampire souls.

Where did Stefan end up?

Here you go.

And what if I refuse to take the test?

Then you're not giving me much of a choice.

(grunts)

Rayna... where did Stefan go?

He could be anywhere.

He could be anyone.

Marty Hammond, you're under arrest for driving under the influence...

My name is Stefan.

Stop. Calm down.

Officer: Calm down, Marty.

Stefan: My name's Stefan, damn it.

Officer: All right, you asked for it.

Officer: Hey! Get back here! Stop! Stop!

Turning now to a breaking news story, reports coming in of an accident on Route 70, near Glenwood, Arkansas, (phone ringing) involving a Dallas student charter bus.

At least four dead, with more injured...

What the hell do you want?

I'm calling to warn you.

Oh, it's a little late for that, don't you think?

I mean, seeing as you seem to be working with that psycho who took my fiancée hostage.

I know you're gonna find this hard to believe, but I made sure that Caroline was safe.

Safe?

Rayna sh*t a stake through her rib cage, Matt.

Listen to me, we were out.

Three years, three years, no stabbings, no hostage swaps, no supernatural thr*at breathing down our neck, okay?

We are getting married in a month.

We have got kids that we need to take care of.

Look, Caroline was bait.

To draw Stefan out.

That's all.

What the hell happened to you, man?

Look, something bad happened, and I'm calling to warn you that I sent some visitors your way.

No, no, listen, Caroline is in hiding with the girls, waiting for me.

This affects everybody, Ric, and I'm three states away.

I'm hanging up right now.

(doorbell rings)

(sighs)

It's like what happened with Jo, only more random.

All the vampire souls from the Phoenix Stone have found fresh corpses to inhabit.

Some vampires, some not.

And why is this my problem?

Stefan is among the missing, and something tells me that your household has a vested interest in whether he lives or dies.

Okay.

What do we need to do?

Rayna: We have to hunt them all down.

Valerie: No.

No, Stefan has to be our first priority.

Your boyfriend should be the least of your concerns.

What do you mean?

You think I spent my life chasing harmless do-gooders?

That stone was made for the worst of the worst.

I've put down some of the most evil vampires of the last 200 years.

Here.

Flip through that. What is this?

It's your journal.

See if anything jogs your memory.

"Day 57 of being pissed off at my garbage heap of a brother..."

Just-just go ahead and read it to yourself.

Look, the most important thing is, man, you're not in that hell anymore, all right?

This is real.

And look, man, the truth is you have every right to be pissed at me, okay?

I screwed up bad, and when you remember why, I do not blame you... Damon.

Yeah.

I'm famished.

(wind howling)

(retching)

(coughing)

♪ ♪

(groans)

(wood cracking)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

♪ ♪

(groaning)

(groaning)

(panting)

(bones popping)

Okay, there you go.

Need a refill?

Please.

And thank you.

Okay, I think that's enough, Stefan.

That's enough.

(sighs)

Care to take her for a spin?

(chuckles)

Better go make a quick phone call.

♪ You got big black boots ♪
♪ And legs up to there ♪
♪ A dozen tattoos and slicked-back hair... ♪

Alaric: Damon.

When did you realize Jo wasn't Jo?

Listen, are you with your brother right now?

That's what I'm asking.

Okay, Damon, listen to me very carefully, That is not Stefan, all right?

We don't know who that is.

Valerie: Keep him close.

We're going to need his body.

So where the hell is Stefan?

Uh, you know, it's not easy to pick him out from hundreds of Twitter reports about the zombie apocalypse, okay?

We're working on it.

Damon: Work harder.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life babysitting a cheap knockoff of my brother.

Oh, trust me, it's not gonna be the rest of your life.

Jo's body started to break down just as soon as that vampire soul inhabited her.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that if Stefan is in a human body, he's got about three days to live.

(groans)

(groaning)

(groans)

Yes.

Come on.

Ah, yes.

(motor starts)

(slaps TV)

Reporter: For more on this story as it breaks, stay tuned.

The latest from Arkansas, where, in the middle of an extreme weather warning, a manhunt is underway near the Ouachita National Forest.

Marty Hammond fled authorities after allegedly causing a major accident on Route 70.

Suspect has a previous DUI.

We don't expect him to get too far.

He's a known drunk.

With his medical history, if the cold doesn't take him down, I'm betting detox will.

But we've got our best men on it, so people should just stay calm and report any suspicious activities.

We're also taking volunteers to work our phone bank, so if you're interested, please contact the Glenwood YMCA and lend us a hand.

Thank you.

Hammond, a former merchant marine, has been working for the charter bus company.

They have yet to release a statement.

But as news of Hammond's substance abuse continues to unfold...

Rayna: Turn that down.

My head's about to explode.

In light of his police record...

Tell me, what are they like?

The voices?

Confused.

Hungry, angry.

Uh, do you see them?

Like with actual visions?

Pieces.

All at once, overlapping.

Do you have any pictures of Stefan?

Why would I have a picture of Stefan?

Not you, Caroline.

Now, don't tell me she hasn't got some bloody sentimental keepsake.

What are you doing?

Giving you something to focus on while I help you sort though the noise.

Here.

Will this do?

It's perfect.

Here.

Look into his eyes.

Concentrate.

How is this supposed to...?

(groans)

Valerie: Focus on Stefan.

Come on, Stefan, where are you?


(Rayna shouts)

(panting)

I saw trees, blood, fire and an anchor.

Wait, an anchor?

A tattoo.

On his hand.

He's hurt. He's scared.

Wait a second.

Hammond, a former merchant marine, has been working for the charter bus company.

They have yet to release...

A bus.

I saw a burning bus.

A merchant marine tattoo, a guy who saves a bunch of kids and then goes on the lam.

I think this Marty Hammond is our guy.

Arkansas?

What the hell's in Arkansas?

Miles of national forest, dozens of pissed-off state troopers, and a rapidly approaching blizzard.

How soon can you get there?

Well, that depends on how cooperative my passenger's gonna be.

All right, brother.

(music stops)

Time to go.

Not a minute too soon.

This place is dead.

Yeah.

Come on.
(grunting)

Oh, of course.

(chuckles) Of course I'm trapped in the body of an addict.

Didn't need a damn hell-stone to hammer that irony home, did we, Marty?

You know, Marty, I spent the last three years knowing my life span was tied to Rayna's.

After the initial shock wore off, I actually started to enjoy it.

I had an expiration date.

That's as close to being human as I was ever gonna get.

(electricity crackling)

I guess I forgot how much being a human actually sucks, how everything hurts... (engine whining) all the damn time.

Ah, come on...

Ah, come on.

(engine starts)

Yes! Yes!

Suck on that, Marty, you miserable drunk.

Yes.

Yes, I think it's starting to come back to me.

The pain, the doleful humdrum of my eternal curse.

And yet, here and there, moments of hope.

Glimmers of humanity.

I may have forgotten what you've done, Damon, but I do remember this: you are my flesh and blood.

I love you, brother.

Cut the crap, buddy.

I know you're not Stefan.

Aw, that's a shame.

I was just warming up.

I give you points for being a quick study.

I can't take all the credit, you did give me the handbook.

In all seriousness though, your brother truly, truly hates you.

Listen to this, "I have resigned myself to never seeing Damon again in my now-finite lifetime, and I have never felt so unburdened."

Oof, sounds like he doesn't care if he ever sees you again.

Which is perfect, because I don't plan on giving up this body.

Well, fair warning, that hair requires a tremendous amount of maintenance.

Indeed, it does.

Better than nothing though.

How far is Memphis?

Memphis? (gasps)

Please tell me your name was Elvis.

It would explain a lot.

You seem like an entertaining fellow, Damon.

Well...

When this is all over, we should go carousing together.

Deuces.

Wait!

(tires screeching)

Wait, what do you mean, you lost him?

I mean he figured out Stefan's body is a time-share, and he ran.

He asked about Memphis.

Memphis?

We're two states away from Memphis.

And I have to go rescue the real Stefan from a manhunt.

You have a heretic and a huntress.

Use them.

It's okay.

I can track Stefan's body.

Did you say Memphis?

We have to catch him.

Well, that's the point, isn't it?

Valerie: And then what?

And then k*ll him, that's what you're not saying.

Who is he?

Just another serial k*ller that cannot be allowed to walk this earth.

He should be staked and b*rned and sent to oblivion.

Well, he is walking this earth in my boyfriend's body, so we're not k*lling anyone.

Then this is where we part ways.

I'm dying to know what's in that case you keep inching towards.

(sighs) It's a dart g*n.

Think it'll help?

(engine sputtering)

Excuse me, miss?

Do you know where we are?

Are you lost?

Yeah.

And out of gas.

And naturally unlucky.

You mind if I borrow your phone?

It's just one quick call.

Hang on.

Reporter (over radio): The man is considered dangerous.

Residents in and around Ouachita are advised to report any suspicious activity in the area.

Get away from me!

I just need to use your phone.

Please.

(tires screeching)

(groaning)

Pardon me. Excuse me.

Officer coming through.

Captain: I need you to call these four guys back for another shift.

I need the man-power.

Hold on, I'll be back.

Sir?

Sir?

Who are you?

I'm a volunteer, Deputy Matt Donovan, Mystic Falls.

A friend to my brothers in blue.

I never heard of Mystic Falls.

Never heard of you.

Where's your badge?

You don't need to see a badge, because Matt Donovan is the finest, bravest, least stupid cop you ever met.

And if anyone asks, that's the lie you tell them.

Glad you're here, Donovan.

We're lucky to have you.

So what's the status?

Well, Hammond is screwed any way you cut it.

We got the forest surrounded.

Boys just raided a cabin, found traces of blood but no Marty, which means that...

He's alone in those woods.

And nobody can survive these temperatures overnight.

We're just laying low.

Gonna wait for nature to do our work for us.

(gasping)

Damon: Didn't think that one through, did you, brother?

What do you say we get out of here, get you back in your own body?

Let's go.

What?

What's wrong?

This.

You.

If you're here, then I'm safe, and I owe you one.

But if you're a hallucination, then I've entered the delirium phase of my withdrawal, and I'm officially and royally screwed.

(sighs)

(gasping)

(coughing)

(retching)

12 degrees and dropping fast.

With snowfall of a foot or more projected, road closures and downed power lines should be anticipated.

Man: All right, try to calm down and tell me what happened.

I saw him. He att*cked me.

Hey, you're safe now, ma'am.

Thank you.

If it's okay with you, Captain, I'd like to question her myself.

All right.

All right, everyone.

Matt Donovan's got this.

I need you to tell me exactly where you saw him.

Yeah. It was an access road off of 274.

It was north of Oden.

There's an outlook there.

And you're sure it was north?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, boys.

He's south of of Oden.

Let's pull all troops down to that area, okay?

Wait, that's not what I said.

It is now.

You saw him south of Oden.

Hey, let me know if they find my phone.

(indistinct radio chatter)

What'd you say?

My cell phone.

(shivering)

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Damon: Wow.

Marty's voice is, uh, huskier than I imagined.

Damon.

Sure picked a great night to get lost in the woods.

Yeah, well, at least I'm starting to warm up.

Which, in case you didn't know, is a bad sign.

You gotta move, okay?

Just pick a direction, start walking.

I can't.

I can't even feel my legs.

At this point, I can't tell if the tremors are from my withdrawal or from me freezing to death.

Stefan, just get up.

This is not how you are going to die, Stefan Salvatore.

(chuckles)

Alone in the wilderness, (sniffs) trapped in the frozen corpse of an alcoholic m*rder*r?

Uh, I don't know.

Seems kind of fitting to me.

Come on.

Give me something to work with, here.

Day late and a dollar short.

You suck at playing hero, brother.

Well, I guess I'm just not used to you being such a damsel in distress.

Should I list all the ways in which this mess is your fault?

Sure, Stef.

Go for it. I'm not doing anything important right now.

You bailed on me, Damon.

Listen, Valerie and I were literally just about to do the transfer spell.

Even before that.

You bailed on me when you decided you'd rather live in a coffin than own up to your mistakes.

No. No, no.

I was trying to prevent myself from making mistakes, Stefan.

And why is that so hard for you, Damon?

Don't say "Elena."

You lived 160 years before you met her.

I got ripped out of hell and thrown into a dead man's body.

And do you know what my first thought was when I came to?

"I need to save those people on the bus."

I didn't know who I was, I didn't know where I was... it was my instinct.

Where are your instincts, Damon?

What does the voice in your head say?

You want me to say what we both already know?

Fine.

I'm selfish.

I'm angry.

I am impatient.

And yes, until I met Elena, I wasn't interested in doing the right thing for anybody.

Your brother included.

My brother included.

You mad?

Yes.

You resent me?

Yes.

Good.

Then get up and come kick my ass yourself.

(groans)

Stefan...

(groans)

I'm walking.

You want to know why this is so hard?

Because Marty Hammond is a total train wreck?

Because, eventually, I'm not gonna be able to go on.

And when that happens, I don't believe you'll be there.

Must we wait this out?

(scoffs)

Well, unless you want to end up in a ditch off the freeway, we're gonna spend the night right here.

How convenient for you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if this ends badly, you emerge the victor.

Stefan dies through no fault of your own.

Less competition for your fiancée's heart.

Oh, wow. How insecure do you think I am?

Don't pretend it hasn't crossed your mind.

I am very familiar with the sensation of watching Stefan and Caroline from the outside.

Well, except for the part where Stefan ditched Caroline to travel around the world with you.

You see, I never fooled myself into thinking that what I had with Stefan would last.

But you... you put a ring on it.

Yeah, I proposed to Caroline, because I fell in love with her.

And she said yes because it made sense for the kids.

So, yeah...

Stefan coming back might ruin my perfect little life.

So what?

Well, for what it's worth, I'm rooting for you and Caroline.

(chuckles)

Why, how selfless of you.

Damon: Ah, don't tell me you don't appreciate the irony of this.

You being human.

Well, safe to say I do not appreciate it at this particular moment.

Tell me, though, what's the worst part about being human?

Is it... is it leg cramps?

Is it sniffles?

Frostbite? What is it?

How about the inability to compel people?

Ooh. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a big one.

Sucks having to play by the rules, doesn't it?

(laughs)

Like you would know.

Hey.

You remember playing hide-and-seek when we were kids?

You bring that up because you used to cheat?

I did not.

Absolutely, you did.

You used to hide in Father's office, even though we weren't allowed to be in there.

Once, maybe.

No.

All the time.

(chuckles weakly)

Then why was it so hard for you to find me?

'Cause I was scared.

I didn't want to break the rules.

Maybe you were hoping Father would catch me and punish me.

No, I wasn't scared I'd get caught.

I was scared for you, Stefan.

Why do you bring up hide-and-go-seek?

Because you're never gonna find me.

♪ Take my pain ♪
♪ An empty bottle takes the rain ♪
♪ And heal, heal ♪
♪ Hell heal ♪
♪ And tell me some things last ♪
♪ And tell me some things last ♪
♪ And tell me some things last ♪
♪ And tell me some things last... ♪

(gasps, coughs)

Damon...

What's wrong?

Nothing.

It's all very normal.

Are those...

Cop-approved.

(moaning)

Mmm...

You asked me what I missed most about being human.

The ecstasy of eating this... incredibly crappy donut.

So all's forgiven?

Not by a long sh*t.

(grunting)

(gasps)

What is it?

About that... afraid Marty's not gonna make it.

Buckle up.

We have less than 48 hours to track down your real body.

(gasps)

Are you still tracking Stefan's body?

Whoever's in him just stopped.

In Memphis.

I can hear music, it's... a fraternity house.

Wait, a-a vampire just beelined to Memphis and went straight to a university?

We gotta go.

Why?

What's going on?

It's something that Rayna said.

It reminded me of an old wives' tale about a string of murders that happened in Memphis in the 1880s.

Apparently he was a serial k*ller before he became a vampire.

He would stalk sororities and fraternities and m*rder for sport.


Libations?

Nice.

Come on in, man.

♪ ♪

Alaric: As the story goes, he wouldn't just k*ll. He would force his victims to m*rder each other.

(giggling)

And they would tell the story, but no one would believe them.

Eventually the burden would drive them mad.


They never caught the k*ller.

(indistinct chatter)

♪ ♪
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