01x20 - For The People

[bunniefuu]

We are getting k*lled out there!

That jury is ice-cold.

The board doesn't think the jury's the problem.

They think it's you.

Excuse me?

They think your defense is too complicated.

It's confusing the jurors.

And how would the board know what's in the heads of my jury?

They have research, Mitch!

Fool-proof research.

I don't think I need to tell you where the board can stick their research.

Devin: Would it k*ll us to simplify it a little bit?

Why do you have to be so stubborn?

Hey.

Give the board what they want, Mitch.

They're saying you can't grind on this one.

I always grind!

And it always works.

If I start soft-pedaling it to this jury, they will turn on us, like that.

They already have.

The people, too. They're walking out.

Mitch, it's not working.

We are as desperate as we've ever been.

We need to present a case that anyone can understand, even if they know nothing.

Something so simple, you barely even have to be awake to understand it.

Please. Just this once.

For me.

For the firm, Mitch.

So what happens in the next one?

Do you listen to the board and soft-pedal the jury?

Uh, something tells me he doesn't.

Why?

Because they don't get it.

They're not looking into the eyes of the jury.

They're up in their ivory towers looking down on the people, and underestimating them.

Yeah, but don't you think the board might have some insight into what a jury would want?

Stew, the jury doesn't want to be spoon-fed.

The jury wants to do some work on their own.

They don't just want it to be easy to understand?

Not when they're in a Mitch Grinder jury box.

Who ended up being right?

Well, I won, so.

You never even tried to make it just a little less complicated?

You know, one time, do what the board asks for?

I think it might be easier for everyone.

Dad, that's not what The Grinder stands for.

Is it, Uncle Dean?

No, it's not.

And I'm disappointed in your father for even suggesting it.

Me, too.

What a day. What... a... day.

What?

I remember where I was when I got the call that my little brother was hanging up his cleats and getting married.

Oh!

Today.

That's right.

It's our anniversary.

It is.

Happy anniversary, honey.

Happy anniversary.

W-w-wait a... Wait a minute.

You didn't forget, did you?

I didn't. I didn't forget.

No. Well, I didn't.

Because, you were like, "Oh, today's the day."

And then you kissed like you were trying to cover something.

I-I forgot the, um, our phone call.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, yeah.

'Cause, it was a lot of years ago.

And I was so excited about getting married on that day.

Yep.

For what it's worth, it feels like you both forgot.

And you're both lying about it.

Same boat. Same boat.

So you got big plans?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

I wanted it to be a surprise, uh, so I-I-I wasn't going to say anything, but now that Dean brought it up, I have reservations, uh, for dinner for us, uh, this weekend.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Where?

Thank you, Ethan.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, I... the name of the... it's downtown.

And it's called, um, uh, Trattoria, uh, Perlagenté.

Ooh.

Trattoria Perlagenté.

Well played, Stew bear.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty impressive.

That place has, like, a two-month waiting list.

Yeah.

Is that... is it...

Months. Mm-hmm.

That makes sense.

That's how long ago I made the reservation.

It was, uh, two months.

Wow.

All right, so, Mom, what did you do for Dad?

For him?

I got a crazy present.

I cannot wait to give it to you.

You got me a gift?

I did.

I-I look forward to opening it.

I look forward to eating at a restaurant where we definitely have a reservation.

And I can't believe that I doubted for one second the power of your love.

(doorbell rings)

Mmm.

You expecting somebody?

Uh, no.

I'm not.

Are you?

Mom.

Stewart.

What a surprise. Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

Lenore.

Debbie. Oh.

Hi.

Grandma, what are you doing here?

My babies.

(kissing)

(chuckles)

Hello, Dean.

Mother.

Hmm.

Oh, I have so missed my little angel prince.

I'm still your angel prince.

Uh, we just weren't expecting you.

Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.

Good job.

We are definitely surprised.

Where's Pop Pop?

Lenore: Sweetie.

Nigel is 45.

He doesn't really like to be called Pop Pop.

Sorry.

Did you hear about Grandpa's malpractice case?

Yes, I did.

I did.

That's why I'm here.

You heard about the case in Paris?

(groans) It's so much bigger than I thought.

Well, Mom, you don't have to worry, because Stew and I are both handling Dad's defense.

Oh, God, please tell me he's not still pretending to be a lawyer.

Eh...

That depends on whether you think a certified legal intern with in-court speaking privileges, is pretending.

I do.

Then I guess I am.

So that, uh, show... it won't take you back?

(sighs) It was never about that, Mom.

Of course, there's really no need since Timothy Olyphant is so fabulous.

You know, Mom, we should get your bags...

Take your things upstairs.

Okay, everybody just sit down.

You don't think Timothy Olyphant is that fabulous.

You're just trying to rub my nose in it, because you've never approved of my lifestyle choices.

Because you ran off to Hollywood to chase some pipe dream, instead of settling down...

Settling down like my brother.

Well, I'm engaged.

Is this true?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean...

T-tell... yeah.

So engaged.

Sure.

Yeah. No, we're still all just kind of processing it.

That's true.

Oh, Deanie!

Finally.

Huh?

Well, who is she?

Tell me everything.

Her name's Claire.

Oh, no.

Oh, not that.

Well, I'm excited to meet her.

Lenore: I always did enjoy this view.

Well, I'll be damned.

Hello, Dean.

Hello, Lenore.

What are you doing here?

I came to visit my family.

How's Nigel?

He's wonderful.

So you seeing anyone?

Uh, yeah.

Here and there. Nothing serious.

I definitely got some irons in the fire.

Well, good for you.

No, I understand you have no tables, Alex, but as I was saying, this is kind of a special occasion for me, and I'm in a bit of a pinch, so...

(groans) Hung up.

So you did forget.

I totally forgot.

And you lied about it.

Yeah.

And now you're scrambling, 'cause that place is booked.

You nailed it.

Do you want me to make a call?

Yes. Would you do that?

Maybe. Depends.

On what?

On your willingness to do something for me.

Well, Dean, I kind of can't say no to you right now.

Good. Just a couple things. Pretty easy stuff.

Number one: I need you to tell Mom I'm a real lawyer.

Went to law school. Whole thing.

She'll never believe that.

Number two: I'm engaged.

Yeah, about the engagement, Dean.

And you need to get Claire onboard, 'cause I can't do it.

I've already harassed her enough. I agreed I would stop.

Good. No one should be harassing anybody.

Good. Good. J-just talk to her.

Just tell her she's got to do this or she gets fired or something.

Dean, that is the definition of harassment.

No, it's not. That's very specific language.

That's, "Have sex with me or you're fired."

No, that's not it.

No, it's a much narrower definition than people realize.

I mean, you-you can get away with a lot.

Ah, so, Dean may have told our mother that he is engaged, uh, to you.

Oh, come on.

I know.

I'm sorry, uh, uh, I panicked.

This is harassment. You-you know this, right?

Actually...

It is. 100%.

You're absolutely right.

Dean, we shouldn't even be here.

Claire, please.

Don't be annoying about this.

It's just until she leaves town.

There's no way that I'm pretending to be your fiancée to fool your mother.

I was afraid you might take that tact.

Stew, do you want to tell her what the repercussions are of that decision?

You're not fired.

You're fired.

Oh, God!

♪ Everybody needs a little time away... ♪

Lizzie: Hey, Grandpa, are you okay?

Guys, not now.

It's Grandma, isn't it?

I thought I said not now.

Seeing her again has you all torn up inside.

It's written all over your face.

Yeah? So what?

Go after her. Give her your heart.

Are you nuts?

I don't want her back.

I just want her to hate herself.

Because she's moved on and you haven't?

Emotions are still raw, huh?

Yeah, I guess they are.

Grandpa?

Let us help you.

I mean, (scoffs) damn it.

This isn't... (scoffs)

Dean: Ooh, I know that sound.

That is the sound of frustration that only shows its face when you're online shopping.

What are you talking about?

You didn't get him a gift, did you?

Uh, yeah, I did.

Then show it to me.

What did you get him?

No, I... uh...

Okay, I didn't... I didn't get him anything. because I can't think of what to get him.

Please don't say anything.

I think he should know.

What do you want?

Okay, so Stew was unable to convince Claire to pretend to be my fiancée, so I need you to back up the story with my mom.

How? I mean, if Claire says you're not engaged, isn't it over?

No. Not if my mom thinks Claire was intimidated into hiding the engagement.

By whom?

Todd.

Her jealous ex-boyfriend.

Of course. How did I not see that coming?

He's a danger to himself.

Uh-huh.

And others.

Dean, don't you think that's a little convoluted?

Fine.

Stew!

No, no, no, no.

(whispering): No. I'll do it.

Stewart: What?

I'm in.

Uh, I just wanted to say good night.

Stewart: Okay. Good night.

Love you.

Love you!

Stewart: Love you too.

(door opens)

Who's your father dating?

What?

He already told me there's someone.

Who is it?

I have no idea, Mom.

He's not dating anybody.

You don't think I can handle it.

Why wouldn't you be able to handle it?

Nigel left me.

Oh, Mom.

Really? When?

He found out I cheated on him about a month ago.

That you... oh.

Yeah.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It was a rough week.

But I'm moving on.

Oh, you want to get back together with Dad.

No, I'm...

I'm not getting involved with it, Mom.

No way. No way.

Okay.

I'll try not to get involved in Debbie finding out that you forgot your anniversary.

No. I didn't. I didn't forget.

I made a reservation.

Okay.

Okay.

Mom, wait.

What do you want?

And we're live.

What is that thing?

Well, it's an app that let's you meet other single adults in your area.

Yeah, and that's what's called your profile.

Why does that picture have me in my army uniform?

Lizzie: Because you look handsome in it.

Ethan: Grandpa.

You're selling yourself to these people.

Everybody fudges the facts a little bit.

(computer dings)

Let me see that. Ooh.

What did I do?

Lizzie: Oh, okay, so what happened there was you just "liked" Calista.

Isn't she a little young?

Lizzie: Well, yeah, if this photo's even accurate.

I mean, she probably looks nothing like this.

Now what?

Now we just wait.

And pray to God that she likes you back.

(computer dings)

What does that mean?

That means we're in business.

Really? Todd?

He always seemed so sweet.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yep, that's what we thought, too.

And then we found out that he has been hiding a dark side.

Like, a very dark side and sad.

Well, that explains why Claire denied it when I congratulated her.

Yes. That is... that is exactly why.

(thumping)

Toner!

Darn it!

(door slams)

Oh, my, so Todd is a violent, jealous, maniac.

But he still works here?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

He's a damn good lawyer.

Oh, sorry. I just need to grab something.

And I need to grab something, too. (sighs)

And it's you.

Wh... why?

It's okay.

Deb told me about Todd.

What about Todd?

Oh, you know... just... how he's your abusive ex, and that's why you couldn't tell Lenore about your engagement to Dean.

Seriously?

I am so relieved the cat is finally out of the bag.

Yeah, I'm very uncomfortable about it all still.

Well, it's okay. I won't say anything.

And she is a woman of her word.

We should celebrate.

I want to take you both to dinner.

Oh, that would be great.

Nope, not necessary in the least.

I cannot believe that we are eating at this restaurant.

Honey, I told you.

I've had this reservaysh for months, because our anniversary is very important to me.

Uh-huh. And you didn't have any help getting this reservaysh?

I'm sorry. Are you implying that I used my older brother to pull strings to get us this table, because I forgot our anniversary?

Honey, that is exactly what I'm implying.

Or are you projecting, maybe, because you forgot?

No.

Because I don't see a gift anywhere.

Uh, yeah, because I wouldn't bring your amazing gift to this restaurant.

I'm telling you, it is... insane.

Oh, I bet. I bet.

Hi, uh, Dean Sanderson for three.

Manager: I'll have a look, sir.

Thanks.

What the...?

Uh, Dean.

Hi.

What are you, uh... what are you doing here?

Uh, we're just having dinner.

My fiancée, Claire, and-and Mom and I.

I-I told you.

You did tell me, of course.

I just... I didn't realize it was out.

Yes. What a relief.

Deb told me all about Todd.

He sounds like a complete lunatic.

Todd is.

Yeah, you know, that's why I couldn't talk about this About the... at the office.

Right. Right. Yes.

Crazy Todd. I forgot... I forgot that piece.

It's kind of an important piece.

Ethan: I would say, above all, be yourself.

What if that's not good enough?

That's why we have this earpiece.

Ethan: We got you.

We'll talk you through it.

I don't know.

Come on. What could go wrong?

Help yourself to anything on the menu.

I'm buying.

Yeah, I haven't paid for a meal in, like, years.

You look a hell of a lot like your picture.

Yeah, I took it yesterday.

And it looks like yours was maybe taken...

A couple of years ago. Yeah.

Oh. (laughs) Okay.

What the...?

Are you okay?

My son's here with my ex-wife.

So...?

Is that my dad?

He's here, too.

What is going on tonight?

Oh, my God.

That must be that woman he met online.

Since when does he know how to get online?

Oh, the kids taught him. They made like a profile and...

Oh, that's not a woman.

That is a girl.

That is a young, very hot girl.

Really hot.

Like, very hot.

Like, smokin' hot.

Okay. We get it. Thank you.

Dean: So, Claire and I were thinking of a June wedding.

Isn't that right, sweetheart?

Yeah, sure.

Well, that's great, dear.

She wanted to do it earlier, but I said, this law profession for me is-is the real thing. I can't just up and get married in the middle of legal season.

Legal season?

Yeah. No, no, no. Absolutely.

Lenore, are you okay?

I don't believe it.

Okay. We lied.

What?

Wh-What?

I'm sorry, what were you talking about?

Your father.

He's here with that new girlfriend of his.

What were you talking about?

Nothing.

He has a girlfriend?

Nice pull, Pop.

Pull-pop.

Is that doing anything for you?

Not at all.

Oh, I get it.

You're using me to make your ex jealous.

What?

No. No, no. I wouldn't...

Lizzie: Okay, it's okay, Grandpa.

Calm down. Just tell her that you didn't know that she was even...

Give me that.

Just say this, Grandpa: "Calista, I swear..."

...to God, I had no idea.

Is that an earpiece?

Lizzie: Uh, uh, tell her it's a hearing aid.

What?

Keep saying "what."

Yeah, and, uh, talk loud.

What?!

Is someone telling you what to say through that thing?

I think you're talking about my hearing aid, but it's acting up a little bit, and I can't hear you.

Stewart, you need to do something.

Things are progressing over there.

Huh?!

Stewart: Mom, they're really not.

Besides, this is our anniversary dinner.

You know, we do this one night a year.

I mean, what do you want him to do?

Oh, he knows.

Okay. I'm going.

Pick up for Todd.

One moment, please.

Oh, my God.

Claire's maniac ex-boyfriend is here.

He must have followed us.

I cannot believe this is happening.

Oh, you said it yourself.

He's dangerous.

We have to get Claire out of here.

Lenore, listen, I got to tell you...

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. Okay.

Dad. Hi.

Um, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm having dinner with a lady friend.

This is Calista.

Hi.

Hi, Calista.

Uh, I'm not sure what's going on here, Oh, yeah. It's weird.

Stewart: It's totally weird. and maybe it could happen at not here.

Um, okay, h-how do I say this?

Y-you're doing great. but I-I feel like there are moments where you're a little see-through.

Oh, no. Please tell me so that I can fix them.

I love that attitude... such a worker bee.

It's in your culture, isn't it?

I'm sorry, what?

Claire, he's here.

Your ex.

Who?

You know, your ex.

Your crazy ex, Todd, who st*lks you.

Todd, what are you doing here?

I was just picking up some food. Small world, huh?

How dare you come here.

I mean, open your eyes.

Claire has moved on.

She's with Dean now.

What?

Claire and I have never been...

(groans)

Dean!

Oh, my God.

Excuse me, what in the hell is going on here?

Th-This man is my fiancée's violent ex-boyfriend, and he was about to att*ck her.

What?

What happened?

Dean just punched Todd.

Great sh*t, Deano.

What is happening?

Why are you helping him?

Dean, you want to answer that?

I'm calling the police.

Dean?

What?

Don't you think this has gone far enough?

What is he talking about?

Oh, my face.

Mom, I have a confession to make.

Todd is not her jealous ex-fiancé.

He's just a messenger at the firm.

What? I'm a lawyer.

And Claire is not my fiancée.

Not in the least.

Dean: I lied, because I wanted you to be proud of me.

And for a second, I was.

I know.

It was almost working, but I got caught up in the lies, and then-then I lost myself in it, and I became someone I'm not.

I am so very disappointed in you, Dean.

I lied, too.

I did not make the reservation two months ago.

Honey, I completely forgot our anniversary.

I know. I lied, too.

I also forgot our anniversary.

I got something. Calista, that picture of me was taken quite a while ago.

I'm actually an old man.

Okay.

I was trying to make you jealous.

Well, it worked.

Mom?

Nigel left me.

I wasn't here for the case.

I was here for you.

Yeah, it's working!

Dean Sr.: I'm flattered, but look at us.

We both know this doesn't work.

Too complicated.

I like complicated.

I like simple.

Oh, my gosh.

Debbie: So, this is happening?

Right-right next to us.

It's... (moaning) very passionate.

Bye, Grandma. Come back, soon.

Bye, Sweetie.

Bye, Grandma.

Bye, sweetheart.

Mom.

Are you sure you have to go?

I'm afraid so.

Yeah, I'm sorry about last night, Mom.

That was, uh, unfortunate.

Oh, no, Stew. I-I think it was good.

I think that the truth brought us all closer together.

It sure did.

I had sex with your father.

Oh, that's great news.

Right in front of the kids.

Nothing makes me happier.

So you and Grandpa are getting back together?

Lizzie: Yeah, because, I mean, you only have sex with someone if you love them, right, Dad?

That's 100% right, honey.

100%.

I feel like they're lying.

Oh, really? I couldn't tell.

Mom, I am so glad that we did this.

You coming here was the right move at the right time.

Yeah. It was just what we needed.

Your presence this week completely changed the dynamic, and it felt really good to focus on the family.

Well, it makes me proud to hear you say that.

As proud as you've ever been of one of your sons?

Sure, Dean.

I knew it.