04x02 - Young & Hurricane

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young & Hungry...

Will you be my fake wife?

Fake? Yeah, I will.

(chuckles)

Which one of you is the couple?

Both: We are!

You're a thrupple?

Know what's so great about you, Adam? Everything is so easy. No drama.

Gabi.

Amanda?

(punch)

I want you.

Shwa!

Last available room.

Oh, my God, look at your face. You're so excited!

Oh, my God, this room looks just like the other room I was staying in.

Where nothing happened.

But now, I'm in a different room where something probably could happen and... and probably will because that's how life works with two normal, healthy, sexually active individuals staying in a room together.

Gabi.

Mm-hmm?

Okay, how about this? Let's just... let's just both breathe.

(both inhale and exhale)

Gabi, look, I get it.

Okay? I put you through hell.

You have every right to be acting, you know, how you're acting.

Right. Yeah, I got a lot going on up here that I gotta process.

So, uh, is it okay if we just kinda...

Take it slow?

Yeah.

Sounds good to me.

Hey, how about a drink?

I need that very much.

Oh, this was so sweet of you.

Yeah, well, I'm a sweet guy.

Mm.

(neighbor's door opens)

Oh! Um...

I can't believe you surprised me by getting us this room.

Um, I... I didn't ask for this.

You just did this for me, which is so sweet, and I had no say whatsoever.

(mouths "What?!")

I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Sorry for what?

Sorry for, um...

Oh! For that!

Oh, sh**t.

Can you go get us some more ice, please?

Wow, you really got a lot going on in there.

Yeah.

Okay, this is a nightmare.

Ha! You think?

How are we gonna stay right next to each other when we got this going on?

No, no, no, there was no this because this is not a this.

But we just had an amazing kiss five minutes ago.

Shh!

You thought it was amazing?

I did. What did you think it was?

I thought it was... a vacation kiss.

Right? We were just caught up in the sun and the sand, and all the allure of Flip Flops for Lovers.

Maybe you're right. Maybe it was just a vacation kiss. Didn't mean anything.

Absolutely nothing.

Okay, well, that's a little rude.

All I'm saying is that... if it didn't mean anything, we have no problem. We can both stay here.

Oh, my God.

You're right. We can both stay here.

You know what? It doesn't have to be weird.

Okay, it's weird. It's weird!

I gotta get out of Hawaii!

(theme music playing)

♪ She in the spotlight and she turned my head ♪
♪ She run a red light 'cause she bad like that ♪
♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby, baby ♪

Sofia: Hey, Gabi! What's up?

Sofia, I need you.

And I need you.

(sizzling)

Can you spray the pan after the eggs are already cooking?

No!

Oh, dammit.

Listen, we have bigger eggs to fry, okay?

I gotta get out of Hawaii, so you have to pretend to have an emergency.

What? Oh, crap! I put sugar in the eggs instead of salt.

Oh, my God, that's horrible!

Eh, it's not so bad. I can probably scrape it off.

No, no, that is bad! That is very bad!

You should go to the emergency room!

Is everything okay?

(whispers) No!

You do not have to suffer alone, okay? I am on the next flight out.

We gotta go?

Yes.

Yes, we do. You know Sofia. Her life is just a constant mess!

Why are you leaving?

It's called Flip Flops for Lovers, not Leavers.

Wish we could stay, Danny, but the craziest thing.

Gabi's best friend got bit by a snake, so we gotta get home.

Yeah. Yeah, she's in the hospital, but by the time we get there, she'll probably be at home acting like nothing happened, but it did happen. It did. Goodbye, Danny!

Hi, Danny.

I can't believe they sent us back from the airport because of some stupid tropical storm.

Yeah, poor us, stuck in Hawaii.

I don't understand why we couldn't stay at that other really nice hotel.

The Airport Motor Lodge?

Free HBO.

(beep)

Oh, I just remembered! Sofia! I hope she's okay!

Why? What happened to her?

Oh, right, her spider bite.

Thought you said it was a snake bite.

It was a spider riding on a snake's back.

It was scary, Josh. It was very scary.

Um, actually, you know what? I'm gonna go call her right now.

(thump)

(door closes)

I thought you left!

Yeah, I... I did, but I'm back now because apparently there's some sort of weird storm coming and all the planes are grounded.

So, what are we supposed to do now?

It's simple.

You want to be with Amanda and I want to be with Josh, so in order to make that happen, we just have to stay away from each other for the rest of the trip. Agreed?

Fine.

(beep)

Goodbye forever, Gabi.

Goodbye forever, Adam.

(thunder crashing)

Hey, Gabi, come out here.

(chuckles) No.

You come in here.

I'm serious. Come out here. You gotta see how big these waves are.

Oh, wow. Look at that. So moody and mystical.

(gasps) Ooh, like The Hobbit! Let's go inside and watch it!

Watch a movie? We're in Hawaii.

What do you mean, play Scrabble? We're in Hawaii!

Gabi?

Hey, Amanda, Adam.

Uh, Josh, this is...

Adam from Instagram.

Uh, Instagram, this is Josh from Adam.

Hey.

Hey, Josh.

Heard a lot about ya.

I saw a lot about you.

Someone packed a selfie stick.

(chuckles) Yes, and, uh, this is Amanda, the girl who punched my face.

I'm so sorry about that. Adam explained everything.

It's what I do, explain complicated things.

And now I know I shouldn't have punched you.

I mean, if anything, I should be thanking you.

If you and Adam hadn't posted those pictures to make be jealous, then we never would have gotten back together.

Amanda's right. I mean, the pictures did the same for us.

Mm-hmm.

Hey! I just had a brilliant idea.

Why don't we have dinner together tonight?

Both: No!

Uh...

Yeah, 'cause the thing!

The thing is that actually, uh, I... I would like to, but, um, Josh...

Would love to.

Oh!

Yes, and "love" trumps "like," so I guess we're having dinner.

Yeah, we are!

Guys, this is great.

We're all finally with the person we're meant to be with.

How about a group hug? Huh?

Resort style! All inclusive! Get over here!

Oh, okay.

(chuckles) Hey.

(chuckles)

Fun.

Please! I said I was sorry!

Don't talk to me.

Why, if it isn't our favorite thrupple.

Hope you're all having a lovely day.

We are not.

Oh, no. Thrupple trouble?

The three of us were swimming in the ocean.

You know, as thrupples tend to do.

We swam too far.

We were being swallowed by the angry sea.

So naturally, I reached out to the love of my life for help, but he was already halfway to shore.

I was just trying to...

Save yourself with no regard for the man you supposedly love?

I would've been a goner if it wasn't for Yolanda.

And my two floaties.

Boop! (chuckles)

Elliot, I'm sorry. I barely escaped with my life.

Well, you're barely going to escape this vacation with a husband.

She came back for me! And you didn't!

Do you know what this means?

I have to be nice to her now, and she's wearing a bathing suit!

So far, this is going great.

They have no clue anything happened between us.

Gabi: Yes. You know what'll give 'em a clue?

Talking like this.

What are you guys talking about?

Um, nothing. We were just wondering what's taking so long with our table.

I mean, we made a reservation for 7:00 and it's already not even close to 7:00.

Well, um, since we have a little time, and I have had a few drinks, there's something I've been wanting to do.

Adam...

What's happening?

I think she might be proposing.

(gasps) Oh!

Leaving you at the altar was the biggest mistake I ever made, and I've made a lot of them.

But I never make the same mistake twice.

Yup, she is definitely proposing.

You're the sweetest man I have ever known and I never want to spend another night without you.

Adam Foley, will you marry me?

Again?

(chuckles)

Whoa, I did not see this coming.

I did. I called it.

Say something, Adam. I've never been on my knees this long with clothes on.

(chuckles)

Amanda (chuckles)... ever since you left, I... I prayed you'd come back and say this...

Uh-huh. but I...

I can't marry you.

Not when I'm this confused.

Confused about what?

Oh, my God, look at those storm clouds!

Let's go there now!

Wait.

I may or may not have feelings for Gabi.

What?

Nothing...

We kissed!

What?

Nothing...

We kissed!

You kissed him?

Listen, I can explain, okay? It was just a vacation kiss!

Oh, you little...

(punch)

(thud)

Why, why, why, why?!

I get that you didn't want to marry her, but why did you have to bring my name into it?

I had to be honest, Gabi.

Well, thanks for dragging me into your tangled web of truth!

So... you don't have any feelings for me?

Ugh! It was a vacation kiss!

What the hell is a vacation kiss anyway?

It's an excuse is what it is.

Here, I got you some ice.

Thanks.

For your face.

You know, I knew something was up.

Gabi was acting strange ever since I got here.

Spiders don't ride on the backs of snakes!

You know, Adam said those Instagram photos of them doing fun things was just to make us jealous, but...

Maybe when we were doing all those fun things together, we just got caught up in the moment.

Or, alternative theory, maybe it was fate.

Us being on that plane together, Josh kissing that doctor, you trying to leave and then being forced to come back because of the hurricane.

Oh, you know what drink we should order next?

Both: Hurricane.

See, Gabi? We have something special.

Maybe we were meant to be together.

No, I'm meant to be with Josh.

I thought I was meant to be with Gabi.

I thought I was meant to be with Adam.

Really?

Why'd you ditch him at the altar?

Why'd you kiss your therapist?

Yeah, Adam told me.

Oh, my God. You're right.

We are horrible people.

You know what I wish?

(sighs) I just wish things would go back to the way they were, when I liked Josh and he liked me, and everything was simple.

Gabi?

Josh?

I've been an idiot.

Oh, thank God you realized it!

Elliot, let it go.

We all made mistakes out there.

Alan didn't save you.

And I did.

Alan keeps claiming that he thought I was right behind him.

Trust me, he knows when I'm behind him.

There's the love of my life!

(grunts)

Elliot, please.

We need to talk about what happened.

Yolanda... did you hear something... like the whiny voice of someone who left you to die?

Elliot, this is ridiculous.

Are you really gonna ignore me the whole rest of our honeymoon?

Oh, that's real mature, Elliot.

You know, when we got married, we promised each other we would always communicate.

(choking)

Oh, so now we're playing charades?

I make you nauseous? Well, let me tell you something.

I have been so sick since this whole thing happened, I have not been able to eat.

(choking)

With the exception of that smoked fish on a bagel!

Oh, my damn, is he choking?!

Oh, my God, what's happening?

(both grunt)

(breathing heavily) Oh, Yolanda.

You saved my life. (gasps)

Again.

Thanks a lot, Yolanda.

I'm sorry.

It's my maternal instincts.

If I see a fat, little baby choking, I gotta help.

Finally we get to be together.

Just the two of us alone.

No interruptions, no Adam.

Just you and me in Hawaii, the most magical...

Josh?

Yes?

Do you remember when I told you I wanted you to take it slow?

Yeah.

Don't.

(emergency chime)

Danny on P.A.: Attention, lovers, Tropical storm Olivia has been upgraded to a hurricane.

Huh.

Please immediately come down to the lobby and pick up an emergency kit in case of a power outage.

Hey! Hey! You know what I'm thinkin'?

I should get us a kit.

Seriously? Right now?

Gabi, I am wrestling with two very primal urges, and survival is winning by a hair. I'll be right back.

(sighs)

(door closes)

(thunder crashing)

(screams)

Gabi, it's me! Adam!

Adam!

What are you doing out there? There's a hurricane outside!

Yeah, I know. Let me in!

No, go to your own room!

I can't! I tried to make up with Amanda, but she just screamed at me and locked me out on the terrace!

Okay.

Listen, I am really sorry about you and Amanda, but this is a really bad time, okay?

Josh is gonna be back any second!

I get it, but I'm freezing! Can I have maybe one of those plush robes?

(groans)

Here. Okay, now go.

Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go.

(doorknob rattles)

(gasps)

Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay!

Get under the bed! Get under the bed!

Wow, you are so fast.

That is the only time you'll be saying that tonight.

Now where were we?

Where were we? Yes, where were we?

Um... Hey, hey, wait a minute!

You only got one kit?

Yeah, it's one kit per room.

Yeah, but, uh, what if something happens to that kit?

Don't we... don't we need a backup kit? Go get a backup kit.

Gabi, you didn't even want a kit.

(scoffs) Of course I did!

Who... who doesn't love kits? I love kits!

I have always wanted kits. I want at least two kits.

You know what? I'm even looking forward to grand kits.

What's happening?

Adam's under the bed.

What?

Uh... no, he's not.

He's not?

He's not. Where did he go?

I'm right here.

Whoa!

Wait, what... what is going on?

Okay, listen, he got in a fight with Amanda...

Amanda and I had a fight... and I saw him on the terrace, and it's She locked me out onto the terrace, raining and it got really cold, so...

I didn't know where else to go, so...

Stop!

Josh, I swear it was all innocent.

Just like your Instagram posts.

Uh...

I should've known.

Amanda: Oh, my God.

Why does this not surprise me?

(emergency chime)

Danny: Attention, Flip Floppers, Hurricane Olivia has turned into a real bitch.

She is now a category four and all guests are to take immediate shelter in the basement.

Where's Elliot?

Who cares? There's a hurricane! I don't want it to blow my wig off!

No! I'm not gonna leave him, Yolanda!

Oh, there are speakers everywhere! He heard the announcement!

No! I have failed him too many times! I'm not gonna leave him now!

Save yourself, Yolanda!

Okay!

This is my moment!

(thunder crashes)

(both scream)

My moment!

My moment!

Go! (screams)

Josh?

Josh?

Josh?

Josh?

Gabi!

It's not safe out here! Go back inside!

Don't tell me what to do! I fi...

Aah!

You know, you can be as mad as you want, but for your information, I've been trying to make us work since you got here!

Oh, yeah, I can see that!

Well, if you would've stayed in the room instead of running out all dramatic, you would've seen that!

I saw enough, Gabi!

You know, you keep blaming me, but I...

You're the one who came here all, "I'm ready! Let's get a room!"

I mean, did you ever think about what I wanted? Aah!

That's all I've thought about!

I thought this was what you wanted!

Oh, I'll tell you what I want!

(screams)

Gabi!

Elliot, are you in here?

Elliot! Oh, God! My angel!

I'll save you.

I may not have saved you in the ocean or with that pineapple, but I'll be damned if I lose you to a palm tree!

I love you!

I love you too!

Danny?

I was checking all the rooms for guests, and then suddenly I came out here and these fronds came down on me!

I thought I was dead.

You saved my life!

(chuckles awkwardly)

Wow.

I never noticed it before, but you and Elliot are like twins.

Wait, where's Elliot? Where's my husband?

You know, if they can't find his body and you need a shoulder to cry on...

Back off, bitch!

Elliot! You're okay!

I was in the bathroom when I heard the announcement, so I panicked and hid in the tub!

I can't believe you came up here to save me.

Of course I did! I would do anything in the world for you except, you know, ocean stuff.

My hero.

Twins? Really?

I think we should try to make it back inside!

No! We should stay out here and wait the storm out!

No, I think we can make it!

Gabi!

(screams)

Oh, okay!

We can't make it!

All right!

Might as well just keep fighting here!

(both grunt)

Better?

Much! Thank you!

Josh, you wanna know why I kissed Adam?

Don't wanna know!

Because we were having fun!

You know, we weren't breaking each other's hearts!

I wasn't getting on planes and seeing him with other women!

I wasn't screaming at him in the middle of a hurricane!

It was simple! It was fun! Which is the exact opposite of us!

Oh, come on, Gabi! We have tons of fun!

When?

Uh, how about that time we, uh...

That time we sang the Tegan and Sara song together!

You mean the first day we met two years ago?

Yeah, and then we slept together and you proposed to a different girl the next day!

Fun, Josh! Real fun!

What are you saying?

(groans) I'm saying this isn't fun!

This is a nightmare!

Oh, come on, Gabi!

(grunts)

All right, fine! This is a nightmare!

See? Whenever we're together, all hell breaks loose!

Well, then maybe we shouldn't be together!

(birds chirping)

Are we dead?

Yeah, I think we are.

(sighs) Why does everybody think Hawaii is so great?

So, you and Josh aren't in a relationship, you're no longer friends, and you don't have a job?

(chuckles)

And we haven't had sex... in two years.

Gabi, why is that funny, like, at all?

Because you know how this works, Sofia.

Every time Josh and I get in a big fight and I quit or he fires me, one of us always comes crawling back.

So, I'm laughing because I know he's gonna knock on that door any second now.

(chuckles)

Any second.

Okay, Sofia.

(yelps)

Pour another cup.

Josh is gonna be coming over any minute.

Hey, get another glass for Josh, Sofia, because, uh...

(sighs)

He's not coming, is he?

No.

No, he's not.