01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

It didn't mean anything.

I'm so glad that sleeping with my husband helped you sort out your feelings.

I can't make it Sunday.

But Dean wants to see you.

You need to swallow your pride.

Get that man back under your roof.

I couldn't run to an expensive engagement ring back then.

Brian was kind and steady. I'd had the fireworks.

Got my fingers well and truly burnt.

Mrs Butler's son, Graham, is recently single.

I'm not interested in him.

Shouldn't you be in school, love?

Dad wasn't arsed if I bunked off.

I can't stand it any more. Please, Mrs Spake, I've got nowhere else to go.

I want this baby.

Just need a driver.

I'm not here for you. I'm here for my family.

Get back in and drive.

I can't find Dean.

We're gonna find him.

My whole world's in that little bed.

♪ When I'm with you, baby, I go out of my head ♪
♪ And I just can't get enough, and I just can't get enough ♪
♪ All the things you do to me and everything you said ♪
♪ I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough ♪
♪ We slip and slide as we fall in love ♪
♪ And I just can't seem to get enough ♪

I bloody want one!

Where'd you put it? You're living at Pauline's.

In my bedroom.

I don't think so, Dawn.

If you carry on selling like this, you're gonna need a bigger house, Steph.

I'd swap my husband for a fridge freezer.

I think I did.

Hello, love.

All right?

Yeah.

Good morning, Mr S!

Hey, I've smuggled you in a bacon butty.

Oh...

Daddy's Sauce, as requested.

Look, I want to discharge myself.

I'm better off at home. Did you check in on Russell?

Russell can manage. You need to rest.

I've been resting here for over a week.

I want to come home, be in my own bed, use my own lav.

I can look after him at home.

Always fancied myself as a bit of a nurse.

I can make you lunch, change your bandages, give you a bed-bath.

Dawn, would you like some tea?

Oh, no. I'm all right, thanks.

I meant, would you get some for us?

Oh!

You want to get fruity.

Got it!

The night of the accident, I wanted to give you something.

It's an engagement ring, the one I couldn't afford to buy you way back then.

Open it.

I love you, Pauline Spake.

It's beautiful.

As are you.

It's a lovely day out there this morning, sun shining brightly and not a cloud in the sky.

Not sure it's going to continue like that...

Oh. Good morning, sleepyhead.

When will Daddy come back and sleep in his bed?

I'm not sure, sweetheart.

But I am sure that he's going to take you out tomorrow.

But I want to see him every day.

I know. How about you and me have ice cream for breakfast from the new freezer?

Go on, race you downstairs.

Come on, you two! You're gonna be late.

Mum, Ian sat on my volcano on bloody purpose!

Nessa! Don't swear.

Ian, get bloody well down these stairs now!

I can't come down, I've actually got the diarrhoea!

Dad, Ian sat on my volcano and now he's got diarrhoea.

Serves him right, then, don't it?

Here you go. Eat your toast. Let me take those.

Sit down, eat it as quick as you can.

I got roped into doing a double. It were too late to ring.

Richie's gonna walk you two to school. OK?

Do you want some breakfast?

No. I'm gonna have a bath.

♪ Come on!

♪ Does she walk? Does she talk?... ♪

Steph.

Johnny.

Do you always lurk around ladies' hairdressers?

Oh. Stakeout.

Wow.

Yeah. A criminal mastermind right now having a shampoo and set.

How's Dean?

He's fine.

Listen, I feel really embarrassed about the other night.

I hope you don't think I make a habit of kissing policemen.

Erm... I should probably go.

Yeah, you probably should.

Before I invite you over to mine for dinner tomorrow.

Sorry?

Dinner's really more of a bribe.

I actually have a front room that needs painting.

You want me to paint your front room?

Well, not on your own. I mean, I'd help, obviously.

Obviously (!)

I'll do a wall.

All right. I'll supply the fish and chips.

Ooh! I want gravy, too.

Demanding. I like it.

All right. Yeah, well, you'll get your gravy.

Deal. It's a date.

Well, it's not a date. More of a business arrangement.

It's nice having Helena home, isn't it, Donald?

University isn't for everyone.

But it would have been good to have known that before paying for her to move to London.

I told you, I'll pay you back.

Hm!

Can't we just explain it to him?

Maybe he'd understand.

We don't need to rake over all that silly nonsense.

This grapefruit diet's a godsend. I've lost three pounds already.

Loving someone isn't nonsense.

It wasn't love. It was just a childish crush on your tutor.

Another of your silly phases, you know it was.

You need to settle to something.

Or someone.

I had. You just didn't like it.

I mean, it's not my fault her scalp got burnt.

They want to label them hair dyes properly.

Did you tell Dad you were meeting me after school?

He don't care where I am.

Oh, he does, love.

When are you coming home, Dawny?

Well, me and Russell are saving for our own place.

Then you can come and stay over.

Dad would never let me.

He will.

Stanley, he's just mad at me cos there's no one there to wash his stinky pants.

Hey, listen.

I hit all my party sales targets and...

I got you a walkman.

I don't want it.

Oh, Stanley...

You can shove it up your bum!

Stanley!

I think Kieren's gone off me now I'm pregnant.

Like he wanted me to have this baby.

I have, now he's gone all... distant.

What if he buggers off and leaves me for someone?

With a waist?

He loves the bones of you. He'd never cheat on you.

I expect you thought that about your Terry, though, didn't you?

That came out completely wrong. Ignore me.

Brain goes do-lally when I'm pregnant.

It's fine.

What me and Terry have... had... it's never like what you and Kieren have.

Yeah, but look now, eh?

Landed yourself a date with that copper.

Hm? It's very exciting!

It's just fish and chips at his.

And he's roped me into painting his house afterwards.

What?

Cheeky bugger!

Still, a date's a date.

You deserve to have some fun now Terry's gone.

Maybe.

Oh.

Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.

Er, Dean's at school.

I'm just heading out to a party.

Looks like someone's gonna get lucky.

Steve Grindy's wife's hosting.

Grindy. That moron.

Remember when he burnt down the scout hut?

We spent a lot of time snogging round the back of that hut.

Well, he can't have been that much of a moron.

He owns the big house on the estate now.

Steph, is there someone else?

I know that this is all my doing, but I want to try and fix it before it's too late.

For Dean. For you. I miss you.

I miss us, too, but --

What can I do to fix it?

I don't know, Terry.

I'm not gonna rush into anything.

I'm moving back.

Gonna stay at Barry's for a bit.

Under the same roof as Lisa? Terry, how could you do that?

I know. But I won't stay there long, I hope.

Barry's got me an interview. Driver on the bin lorries.

I want to be back for Dean and...

I'll let you get back.

I'm sorry, but... we need that meat!

Chuffin' hell, Mr Spake's gonna go bonkers.

Not my problem.

My Bert was expecting hotpot tonight.

What's going on?

Mr Bushell won't give us the meat.

And Bert's expecting hotpot.

Why?

He always has hotpot on a Friday --

No, why won't Mr Bushell give us the meat?

We've...

(We haven't got the cash.)

And Mr Spake's behind on his payments.

Bushell says it's cash from now on or no meat.

Leave this to me. Mr Bushell!

Harold, isn't it? How's Mrs Bushell?

Spending money like it's going out of fashion.

Now, what's all this nonsense?

Spake's have been loyal customers for many years.

It's not the first time. This is business.

Cash only from now on or no sale.

Spake would understand.

Holy moly, what will we do?

We'll have to use what we have for now.

There'll be no stock by lunchtime.

Then you'll have to bring down the shutters.

Mrs Spake.

Good morning. Come in.

Slowly, son, or you'll get hiccups.

I like hiccups.

Dad? What's a date?

You thinking of asking a girl out?

No way. Mum's got one with a policeman.

Eat your chips, son.

I don't want Mum to kiss a policeman.

Hey.

Hi.

Dressed for the part. I like it.

Come in.

Thank you.

What?

You not a fan of The Nolans?

I'm In The Mood For Dancing is one of the greatest records ever made.

They were my dad's favourite.

Rest in peace. He d*ed last year.

My mum when I was 15.

I'm sorry.

Nah, don't be.

No. They'll live on through The Nolans' music.

You don't have much.

Well, I like to travel light, you know?

Just in case I need to suddenly make a quick getaway.

Mm. Where exactly did you travel light from?

London.

Why come all the way up here?

You know what? You need to get up that stepladder, yeah?

Stop trying to distract me with questions.

I'm the policeman here.

Hm, well. You need to stop trying to get me drunk.

Otherwise I'll fall off that stepladder and that will be m*rder.

Kieren!

Yeah?

Do you know where those mousetraps are?

Saw one running across the kitchen table this morning, little shits with tails.

I nearly gave birth right there and then.

Oh, yes, and Jan from next door said that the Pyland lads have been sticking bangers through her letterbox.

Honestly, I don't want Richie hanging round with them.

Ah, they're not bad lads, they're just...

Where's this come from?

Kieren?

There's hundreds of pounds in here. Where has it come from?

And don't tell me that you just found it.

Kieren!

Keep your voice down. The kids...

What, should they not know about our windfall?

We could all go out and we can celebrate with a slap-up meal down t'Wimpy.

Where did you get it from?

It's not mine. All right?

It's Dougie's money.

He robbed t'bookies.

Were you involved?

Kieren, were you?

I'm just holding it for him.

Which makes you -- Us -- an accessory.

What were you bloody thinking?

Dougie's family.

He used you!

Get rid of it. And him.

Or I will.

How come you're not married?

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

I was engaged once, but... she called it off, so...

I'm sorry.

Left me for my best mate.

God, that's awful.

Mm.

I don't think it would have worked out, though, you know?

I think erm...

I just think six is a bit too young to get married.

Took me the whole of playtime to get over that.

No, I just... haven't found the right one yet.

I don't know, I...

I thought I had found the right one, but...

Oi. Playtime's over.

Oh, my God!

Back to work.

Thanks very much!

Go on.

Come away, Charlie. Heel!

Oh, Russey...

I've got it!

Got what?

How we can help Mrs S!

I'll get the girls round.

Help set up Mr Spake's bed downstairs, you know, what with his dodgy leg and that?

Can you not mention him? It puts me off.

Yeah, well, if the shop closes for good, you'll be out of a job.

We need to start saving for our own place, Russey.

I've nearly sold enough at my parties to win most of the Rose Cottage bedroom set from the rewards catalogue.

I've got the bedside lamps, the bedspread, the matching pillow cases and the bedroom bin.

I've got my eye on the dressing table set next and then I was --

Bloody hell, Russey!

It's a good job I love you.

Thanks for your help tonight.

I'm not sure I really helped that much. Erm... this is me.

I should really get someone a bit taller to help.

No, I mean, you were good for those er... low-down, awkward sections.

But erm, if I need any more DIY doing...

Yeah, I know you won't ask me.

Well, I er... I'd better go.

Hi.

Is everything all right with Dean?

He's been a bit out-of-sorts since...

Since you chucked his father out.

Mum!

I saw you.

Outside with that... policeman.

He's just a friend.

Don't be so naive.

Men can't be just friends.

You need to stop this nonsense.

You're a married woman.

Separated.

Marriage is about more than the odd indiscretion.

"In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer -- "

Does it mention sleeping with your best mate's girlfriend?

I don't want to be with someone that I can't trust.

Think very carefully about what you're getting yourself into.

Do you really want to give up all that you have for someone you... you barely know anything about?

♪ This town, ah-ah, is coming like a ghost town... ♪

What the hell are you doing here?

We need to talk.

I told you. We need to keep our distance.

Nita's found t'cash.

What?

Does she know where it's come from?

I... I panicked.

I said it were your money.

That you'd robbed t'bookies.

You're kidding me?

If I told her it was owt to do with me, she'd have kicked me out.

Christ.

She wants to go to t'police.

If I go down, I'm taking you with me.

Then she'll find out it was you who was driving... and you left that man lying in t'street to die.

You need to shut her up.

She's friends with his wife, Dougie.

I can't bear what I've done to him.

Sort her. Or I will.

I've tried your father several times but he's not responded.

He's a lazy sod, that's why.

He's probably down the Legion or the betting shop.

I know since your mother passed you've done your best for Stanley, but we've seen a change.

I've moved out. That's why.

I've got a new job and I'm getting married.

That's why this place is such a --

Stanley's uniform is dirty. He's falling asleep in class.

Well, Mr Phillips is a right bore. Always was.

He's coming to school hungry, Dawn. He's told me he's not had any breakfast or dinner.

Oh, hey.

Oh...

Sorry. Just erm... just come off shift, so...

You... do you wanna...?

Erm... yeah.

You OK?

Erm... yeah.

I just... I wanted to say thank you for the other night.

But erm... I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea.

Rushed into this, it's not fair and...

Are you OK?

Yeah. I just... don't want you to think I do this sort of thing all the time.

Erm... I should go. I'm supposed to be at my friend Pauline's house.

Her husband's getting out of hospital.

Yeah, well, I've got stuff to do anyway, so...

Oh.

Yeah. Erm... I shouldn't have erm...

This is wrong. I'll let you get on, then.

Yeah, I'll erm... I'll call you.

Yeah, erm, don't worry.

I'm late, so I'll erm...

Stanley's teacher is gonna call Educational Warfare.

He'd be better off in care.

Dad...

Boy needs his mother.

Yeah, well, she's dead. You need to get on with it.

She'd knock you the other side of Christmas if she could see what's become of you all.

It's the chuffin' afternoon, Dad, and you haven't even got a shirt on.

What's the point in sweating into a shirt if you're not going out?

You know, pigs would turn their noses up living here.

You bloody left us.

You should be here.

This is your job, all this.

No, Dad, it's your job.

Just grow a pair. Get the boys to help out, they need to start pulling their weight.

Get out!

No.

I'm gonna clean that kitchen and I am gonna put the tea on.

Cos we are not gonna lose Stanley.

Then come back home. And we won't.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Just bugger off when the hard work starts!

Are you an olive man, Graham?

Hm?

In your martini?

I'll just have it shaken, not stirred.

Sorry?

James Bond. Sean Connery.

Oh, yes! Aren't you clever?

Helena will be down in a minute.

She's terribly excited to meet you.

Oh, here she is.

What's she doing here? We've a guest.

She's here cos we're going out.

What about Graham?

What about him? I didn't invite him.

He's here for dinner to meet you.

Hi, Graham.

Hi.

Now he has.

That's not what I mean and you know it.

I know what you mean.

And if you're so anxious about appearances, you sleep with him.

I suppose this is your idea, is it?

It's got nothing to do with her. Come on.

Helena, come back. You're making a fool of yourself again.

No. You are.

Graham...

I hope you like beef bourguignon.

Are you OK?

I thought it was over with Terry, but...

Oh, God, Hellie. I had sex.

Well, you two were together a long time. It happens.

No, no, no. With someone else.

Anyone I know?

Johnny. PC Daniels.

I know, I don't know what I was thinking.

I mean, I wanted to. I really wanted to and... it was...

But afterwards, I felt so embarrassed.

I mean, God, I'm no better than Terry.

You're not 15 any more.

You don't need the popular boy to feel good about yourself.

We have a son, Hellie.

A beautiful, sad, little boy who needs his dad.

Maybe I need him, too.

Fancy a threesome?

Bog off.

So what needs doing?

I brought one of Mum's hotpots.

And I brought booze.

She's coming, she's coming, she's coming!

What's going on?

Ta-da!

I have invited Pauline's Angels over.

Last time I checked, Dawn, this was still my house.

Oh, I... I thought you'd like it.

Maybe we should go.

Yes. Maybe you should.

Mrs Spake --

We've only come to help bring Brian's bed and his things...

My life's not an open book for people to pick up and read when they feel like it.

I... I thought it would cheer you up.

Russey said that you haven't been able to pay the suppliers this week and... well, I just thought...

I offer you a place to stay... and you repay me by telling everyone my business!

She was only trying to help.

I don't want her help! Or any of yours!

And if you can't keep your nose out of my business then you'd better pack your bags and go!

Pauline, that's enough.

Sorry.

Sorry, I... I...

I ju... I ju... I just...

I just...

We're in such a pickle.

I've had to sell the ring he gave me... to pay for bloody pork chops.

And that's not enough!

The bank won't help me, I don't know what else to do.

I don't.

Well, first things first.

Let's get this open.

Oh, cheers (!)

Both for you.

There we go.

There you go. Well done, mate.

When's your new job start, then?

Next week.

Good to have you back, mate.

Soppy sod.

Steph will have you back home soon enough.

And if she doesn't, I'm sure you won't be on the shelf for very long.

Well, Steph's the only woman for me.

And I'm the only man for her.

Cheers to that.

You should join us, become a demonstrator.

You'd be great at it. Wouldn't she, Steph?

Yeah, course she would.

I'd be bloody terrible.

Probably. But think about the fun it's given you and Brian.

What would people think?

Who cares? You'll be earning.

I've got a party tomorrow. Could do it with me.

No.

Oh, go on.

I dare you.

Double dare you.

If that goes well, you could have my party on Friday for Mrs Finlay.

You'd really do all that for me?

Course we would. Wouldn't you, for us?

Might not solve everything, but it'd be a start.

Wow. I can really see Brian in these, eh?

Aw, sexy!

You can stay as long as you want at ours.

Cheers, mate.

PC Daniels. Good to see ya.

Johnny.

Er, Terry, this is PC -- Erm, Johnny who found your Dean.

Well, I best get you a pint in, then.

You're all right --

No, I insist.

To thank you for doing your job.

Dave. Get this man a pint in, will you?

He looked after Steph while I were away.

But I'm back now.

Thank you for tonight.

It's done me the world of good.

Your living here, well...

You've been a godsend.

I've loved being here, too.

And it's not just cos you can cook things from their beginnings.

I just...

I just wish you and Mr S were proper family.

We are, Dawn.

We are.

Anyone would think you're ignoring me.

Good. Cos I am.

We need to talk about what we... did.

I don't want you. I were never interested in you.

It didn't look that way.

It were a mistake, that I won't be making again.

Do you understand?

What's that tosser looking at?

What?

He's also been sniffing around Steph. She went to his house. I saw them.

He's a copper, Terry. What are you gonna do?

You hit him, you'll lose Steph forever.

Come on. You need to go home.

Oh, I intend to, mate.

Anyone know how to get rid of a love bite?

Christ, Linda!

Don't look so surprised, young lady. There's life in this old dog yet.

Erm... toothpaste?

No. No, that doesn't work.

No, you need to rub booze on it.

When me and Russell first started going out, I smelled like a brewery.

Head to covered in them, I was --

Yes, thank you, Dawn.

Who's your new fella, then, Linda?

A gardener at the cemetery where my Sam's buried.

Good for you, Linda. Getting on with life with someone new.

He's funny. And frisky.

The other day, we laughed so much I wet myself.

Aw...

God...

Brian makes me laugh but I'm not always sure he means to.

What if he's not the same after what they did to him?

He will be. It'll just take time, is all.

Those men left him for dead.

What sort of animal does that?

The police think it's connected with the robbery at the bookmaker's.

That's why the car drove off.

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah. Just the erm... it's just the baby.

Sorry, love. Shift overran.

I'm not doing it any more.

I am not putting my family at risk to cover for that man.

Nita, listen to me --

The bookie's and the hit-and-run?

It's all linked.

My friend in there, her husband was nearly k*lled by your precious Dougie.

So I'm gonna tell her.

No, no, no --

Nita, you can't.

We've got to do the right thing.

Nita!

It were me.

I was driving the car.

I miss all this. It's not until you aren't around that you realise how important these times are.

He thinks it's his fault that you're not here.

I felt the same when my dad buggered off.

He's worried I'm getting him another dad.

And are you? I've always known you were too good for me.

Ever since we were kids.

Don't be silly.

I'd feel like I was losing you.

Everything I did seemed to make it worse.

I thought you hated me.

And then I went and slept with...

And now I've lost you... both.

You'll always be his dad, no matter what happens between us.

And what is happening between us?

Is a suit too formal to host a party?

Oh, Lord.

I don't think I can do this.

You won't let me look like an old fool, will you, Dawn?

Dawn?

I can't help you with the party.

Chris! Simon! Pack it in!

Stanley! Come here.

What happened, love?

Chris said Simon nicked his dole money and they started fighting.

I tried to break it up like you do, but I got hit.

Where's Dad?

Down t'Legion.

OK. Stanley, go inside and pack a bag, yeah?

Right, quick. Run.

Stop wriggling! Pack it in...

You can do this.

You can do this.

You can do this. You can do this.

Thank God you're here. They're baying for blood in there.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Is that a remote control?

Yes.

Yes, this is... this is a... this is a remote control.

And this is the Extending Hermit.

Erm...

Deep... deep vibrations.

Plus, powerful thrusting motion.

Seven inches extending to eight inches.

Various speeds attained by... the remote control.

Would you like me to erm... would you like me to switch it on?

Right.

Oh, goodness.

I've never seen one do that before.

And vibrate at the same time!

I put kids in t'bed.

They're worried.

You've been in all day.

You've not even got dressed.

Hey...

When I married you... I knew that I weren't marrying a saint.

I knew who you were. But this?

What you've done...

It in't the man I know.

So for t'kids' sake... you can stay in this house, but not in my bed.

I were doing it for t'baby... for you.

Mind the glass, Pauline.

Would you like a cup of tea?

Yeah, ta.

Dawn's made the dinner.

Erm... it's a mince dish, with beans.

Not as bad it sounds. "Cowboy dinner" she calls it.

Dawn's been so kind and --

Pauline? What's that?

Pauline?

I should have told you.

I should, but you were so... unwell.

And I had to pawn my lovely ring to pay off what we owed Bushell's.

And that wasn't enough, so... I did a party.

One of those parties?

You shouldn't have to do that, Pauline.

I feel so ashamed. The shop's been struggling now for some time.

Before the accident, since the supermarket opened.

I didn't want to worry you. I didn't want to put all that on you.

I made £75 at that party.

Bloody hell. That's more than a week's pork chop sales!

And I've got four more bookings.

We can get through this, Brian. Together.

But you shouldn't have to do those parties.

But I wanted to!

Even if Spake's was booming, I'd want to.

I enjoyed it, and those women, they loved it.

And so did I.

Well...

I'm not surprised.

Pauline. Pauline, I... I went home and the boys were fighting and... erm, police.

Well, I tried our Aunty Pam, but she's got a houseful and I don't know what else to do.

I couldn't just leave him there, and --

Oh! Welcome home, Mr Spake.

Stanley!

This is Stanley, my little brother.

Please, we've got nowhere else to go.

What happened to your leg?

I broke it.

That's a bit clumsy. I hope you can mend it.

Hi, Steph.

Hi.

Steph? I'm putting the kettle on.

Do you want a cuppa?

You won't regret taking me back.

I'll make it right, I promise.