02x07 - Tramps Like Us

[bunniefuu]

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

New song for Gigi?

Nope. You.

I think it's gonna be like a big, dramatic rocker.

Like a lot of emotional drive.

It could be a great showcase tune for you.

Oh, cool. I need one of those.

I know.

Okay, got my lucky Micki maracas and where is my lyrics notebook? Oh.

You know, we, uh, we could work on this tune together right now, honey.

Oh, but I am this close to finishing a new tune that Flash and me came up with.

It's a blues ballad.

He's got a bridge idea last night that I am dying to listen to.

Mm-hmm.

[lightning crackles]

Oh, awesome. And he's got a b*at on the second verse. Okay, I gotta go.

So you have a customized sound effect for when Flash texts you, huh?

Oh, we're going back and forth with so many ideas these days that I hear thunder and lightning I know it's him and he needs me to respond.

Right.

[lightning crackles]

[chuckles]

What... what did he say?

Oh, nothing. Long story.

Oh, he is so funny sometimes.

Yeah.

He's funny.

♪ Sex and dr*gs and rock and roll ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
♪ Anonymous ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪

[strumming guitar]

Hi.

Hey.

Just finishing up that song.

Oh, great. I want to hear what you got.

You look great.

Hey, thanks.

Hi.

Hey.

So I had some ideas too.

I was thinking in this B section that if we just change the phrase... mm.

[both moaning]

Oh.

[exhales deeply]

Oh, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no.

We gotta stop this.

We gotta stop this?

We're acting like a couple of stupid kids.

This is the sh*t that broke The Heathens up.

And I can't go through something like that again.

I don't want to jeopardize your sh*t.

So we're in agreement?

Agreement.

'Cause we got whatever was out of our systems and now it's over.

Oh, it's... it's over.

Right? I mean, we... We lucked out actually.

Stumbled upon the perfect little ending we should have had 25 years ago and nobody had to get hurt.

Nobody got hurt. Closure. It's nice now.

Yeah. What we had was great, but I am with Johnny.

I'm with Gigi.

And you know...

I'm gonna take Johnny out to dinner tonight after rehearsal.

I'm gonna take Gigi out too.

See? We're with the people that we were meant to be with.

We are with the people we're meant to be with.

And you and I, we're good now, right?

Yeah. We're good.

You want to hear that second verse?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, what's with that property out in New Jersey Gigi was telling me about?

Oh, it's nice.

Yeah?

It's right up your alley.

Can I see it?

Sure.

You gotta be sh1tting me.

It's great, right?

And you can tell it's gonna be a classy event because they didn't skimp on the tee.

This is really tender cotton. You want to feel it?

No, I don't want to feel it.

She had no permission to record the song, Noah.

It's bigger than you, Dad.

This video already has 20,000 views on YouTube.

If they do a big concert, they could raise a lot of money.

Look.

♪ So raise a hand ♪
♪ With feeling ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ It's a hand ♪

So many people have contacted me about this already.

She did a couple of interviews with local press and she mentioned your name as a co-writer.

Uh, co-writer? What did she come up with, like, two lines for that song?

On a song that you didn't want anybody to hear.

A funny song.

I wrote almost all of a funny song, okay?

God.

Well, it's not that funny anymore, man.

It's a huge deal in Jersey.

It's a major outdoor concert with Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Blues Traveler, and Jon Bon Jovi.

Oh, Jon Bon Jovi. Ooh.

It's to cure a disease, Dad.

Okay, it's not like it's cancer, for Christ's sake.

All right? They can't eat hot dogs, they can't eat ice cream, and they can't go out in the sun.

They're better off.

They'll probably outlive all of us.

Will you stop touching the shirt?

It's not just that it's soft, it smells really good too.

Oh, God.

It's not the shirt. It's you.

You smell very good. You smell better than I do.

You know what it is?

It's a new fragrance that my wife got me.

It's called Pure Lavender by Azzaro.

I totally forgot that I was wearing it.

You know what's great? My career's in the hands of Heidi Klum, okay? Heidi.

You need to put a stop to the song.

I can't, dude. It can't be stopped.

It's a train that is leaving the station.

Please, can you just jump on the train?

Ah, not getting on the train. Not doing it.

They want us to sing on the record today with Tenika, Little Steven, and Southside Johnny.

Oh, great, a glorified bar band and a pirate from Paramus.

Not a chance. I'm not doing it.

It doesn't matter if you think the song sucks, Dad.

20,000 music fans think the song is great and touching.

And memorable.

Plus I'm getting great feedback on it.

I got a call today from the Parkinson's people.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Colitis.

Huh?

Epstein-barr.

Everybody wants a theme song now.

And hear me out, I also got some calls from some ad exec friends of mine that I know...

No.

And they want to offer you some jingle writing jobs. Please.

Dude, I'm never writing jingles.

Why not?

Because I'm a real g*dd*mn songwriter.

I'm not some Madison Avenue hack jingle writing bitch.

Oh, my God. There are real g*dd*mn songwriters all over TV right now, including, by the way, some of your heroes.

Yeah, that's right. Iggy Pop is selling Audis...

That's different.

"Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now" is the theme song for Comfort Inns.

Completely different.

Dude, the Rolling Stones sold "Satisfaction" to Hilton Hotels.

Because they're the Rolling Stones.

Right, that's the point. They're all doing it.

They're all doing it. They're taking their catalogs and they're turning that into a whole bunch of money.

Except the problem is you don't have a catalog.

Yeah, and you don't have money either because the 200 grand that my mom gave me to move out here, between the band stuff and the rent, I'm down to, like, 50,000.

Really?

How much of that did you spend on shoes?

Listen, everything you guys are saying makes complete and total sense, but it's never gonna happen.

Because there's two people in rock and roll who will never sell their souls, The Boss and moi.

So I'll see you guys later.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go finish writing my Ava song.

You're not Bruce Springsteen, man.

You're not even Jeff Springsteen.

I'm Johnny [...] Rock.

[drums b*ating]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪

Whoo! That is insane!

Nice, nice, nice.

Nice!

Oh, my God.

It's awesome, isn't it?

It is.

Yeah.

If I have one note, you guys, is to come in just a little less à la marche at the top and fold in a bit of, you know, rubato, but otherwise...

Wait, what, "Mr. Roboto"? What is that?

Is that... you going all Dennis DeYoung on me right now?

No, it's Italian. It means loose, you know, freeform.

You guys... they know what I'm talking about.

[chuckles] Man, I am so proud of you.

Come here.

It's great, right?

It's great. Glad to be back.

Good to have you back.

Hey, guys, come over here.

Take a look at this.

I want to get your final sign-off on this poster.

Oh, wow. Oh, God, look at that.

This is starting to feel real.

It's brilliant.

Look at that.

The percussion, design, and composition by me.

Oh, my God, man.

Your name's almost as big as Campbell Scott's.

I know, man. That's crazy.

Dude, Spencer, this whole poster, the design, the... the... the image, it's... it's...

I mean, it's... it's dope.

It's great.

Thank you, man.

It's unbelievable.

I appreciate it. We dig it.

Yeah.

So do I, but where's, uh, where the hell's my credit?

Oh, it's right there.

It's right down there. No.

No, no, no, down.

Right over... down here.

Down, down, down.

Well, kind of. Right here.

Oh, whoa. What the...

What does that say?

It says additional material supplied by you.

That's a very important box office info block too.

Because everybody who, you know, wants to buy tickets, that's...

They read that first. Right, Spence?

Totally.

Yeah, it's very important.

Hey, this is happening, you guys, right?

Oh, look at the time. Right.

Do me a favor, just initial the back of this, and then we can get these into print, okay?

All right, buddy.

Cool.

Thanks, Spence.

Wow.

Yeah?

[chuckles] Yeah.

It's silly I'll probably never even live here.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm seeing the main house goes right here where we're standing, okay?

And then you gotta have a stable over there in that corner.

Think it's big enough for a horse?

Oh, yeah. At least four of 'em.

Maybe more because you're gonna have party guests.

Yeah.

Yes.

And you're gonna need an outdoor entertaining area right over there centered around a fire pit that also doubles as a barbecue pit.

I like it.

Yes.

And then a barn over there.

I like that too.

Something is coming to me.

A wrought iron chandelier over a big-ass redwood slab table.

Oh, we're doing decor now?

Rustic, but not too rustic.

Rustic chic.

I call it sophisticated cowboy.

What about some antlers?

Antlers, but check this.

They're guitar holders.

Old-timey saloon piano.

Reclaimed wood bar stools.

Funky vintage candelabra.

Whiskey barrels full of flowers.

One of those old pumps that's actually a beer tap.

Chesterfield sofa.

Chesterfield daybed.

Navajo rocks.

Navajo sh*t everywhere.

Roaring fire.

God damn.

God damn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

"Additional material supplied by."

Okay, listen.

Additional materials.

I came up with the original idea.

That's not really "additional."

That's sort of "original materials."

Listen.

What?

They wrote new songs, okay?

I know.

They wrote all new story points.

I heard what they...

It's a whole new show.

Babe, "additional material supplied by" sounds like I work at Home Depot!

I want to take that poster, roll it up, and I want to smoke it.

Who gives a crap about the poster?

Nobody reads the credits on a show poster.

Oh, really? Okay, then do me a favor...

Yeah.

And just switch credits with me.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Exactly! Spence?

What?

Come here for a second.

A second, I'll be right back with you, okay?

What do you want? What's up?

What is this bullshit, Spence?

What?

Where's my credit? I told... I created this thing. I want to have the same credit as the composer has on the thing. I want the same size, the same placement...

No, no, no, absolutely not. Hell, no.

We're not doing that. It's never gonna happen, okay?

Look, you know why? Because that guy wrote 15 songs all by himself. And what did you do? You wrote parts of three. Three songs.

Look...

You know what?

We're not even contractually obligated to give you anything bigger. I'm sorry.

You know what? This is just reality, sonny.

Forget it.

Hey, Spence.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[laughing]

Is he [...] with me?

I'm [...] with you.

I'm so glad to be involved in this, are you kidding?

I love it so much.

I mean, look, I realize I sold my soul, but I didn't sell my soul to the devil.

We got one of the great actors on the American stage.

I mean, Campbell Scott, he's the son of George C. Scott.

I mean, if we were in England, he would have been knighted by now.

Dude, I bask in his glorious light.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so, can we print now?

Are we cool with that?

Go to print, baby.

Okay, awesome. Thank you.

Babe...

I love that poster.

[chuckles]

What's going on?

What?

Well, ten seconds ago you were about to light the poster on fire and flip out.

And now you do a 180.

What gives?

I had a... revelation.

Oh, your Xanax kicked in?

Well, the two are not mutually exclusive, so...

[sighs]

We're gonna have to tell them.

I know.

I'm not looking forward to that.

You want me to do it?

Yes.

All by myself?

No. I'll be there.

Totally supporting you all the way.

But what? You're not gonna say nothing?

You just said you were gonna tell them.

I know, but I thought you'd say, "No, I'll tell them,"

'cause I was just being chivalrous.

[chuckles]

Oh, that's what I love about you.

Such a strong cowboy.

I think this blanket would look nice in the new house.

Mm, I was just thinking the same thing.

Only maybe not this blanket.

No, this is officially an outdoor blanket.

[chuckles]

[piano playing]

♪ La, la na, na, na ♪

♪ Oh, just let me go ♪

Hey, what's up?

Dad, you need to get down to Reservoir Studios now.

Bruce Springsteen is here.

He is?

Yes, he's recording his background vocals for the song.

He totally digs the tune, and he wants to meet Tenika's songwriting partner.

Holy sh*t. Oh, my God.

He's so nice, and he's so cute.

He looks half his age, and he smells awesome.

Right. What does he smell like?

He smells musky.

Like a musky, muscular lumberjack.

So dreamy.

Okay, okay.

Wait, wait, wait, one more thing.

What?

Um, what should I wear?

[phone beeps]

Honey?

Hello?

[M. Ward's "Time Won't Wait" playing]

♪ ♪
♪ All you people ♪

Ah, come on.

♪ Going out tonight ♪

[...].

♪ All I want is one soul to love me ♪
♪ One soul to love me ♪
♪ One soul to love me ♪
♪ Hold me tight ♪
♪ 'Cause to be lonely tonight ♪
♪ Well, that would not be right ♪
♪ If all you people ♪
♪ Going out tonight ♪

Yeah.

All right.

♪ So many people ♪
♪ Don't know what they want ♪
♪ I know what I want ♪
♪ That's one soul to love me ♪
♪ One soul to love me ♪

Hey.

What took you so long?

Traffic sucked. So is he here?

Yeah, he's almost done.

Where is he? Down there?

Is Patti here?

What do you smell like?

You smell like Noah.

Huh?

You smell like... Are you wearing Ava's perfume?

Oh, my God. Is it that obvious?

Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

It's fine. Just sit down.

Ah, Jesus.

No, I don't want to sit down. I'm too nervous.

I can't believe it. I'm gonna finally meet Bruce and I smell like Beyoncé.

Okay, so smoke a cigarette to get rid of the dainty smell.

I smell dainty?

A little bit.

[exhales sharply] No, I don't want to smoke.

Because I heard that he hates people that smoke.

What's he like? Is he nice? Is he cool? How tall is he?

Why did you bring your guitar?

Oh, because I remembered that I wrote this song years ago with him in mind, right?

Uh-huh.

And I was gonna bring the demo, then I'm like, "No, the demo's, like, 20 years old," but if I play the song live, he'll get the full live effect.

It'll only take a few minutes.

It's called "West To West Orange."

It won't take that long.

Okay.

He's gonna dig it.

Yeah.

Is it about a working class guy and his muscle car and the girl he wants to rescue from the shitty New Jersey town they both were born in?

It has other layers to it.

I'm sure it does.

Yeah.

What's in the bag?

Well, he likes to sign stuff. I heard about that.

So like, I just thought I'd bring some albums and a couple of cassettes and a box set and two books and one hat. Nothing, you know.

Yeah.

How's my hair?

Is it hot in here 'cause it really feels hot.

[exhales sharply]

Oh, my God.

What?

You sound like me when I thought I was gonna meet Gaga.

I was all freaked out about my hair and my outfit.

And I thought I was gonna faint.

It's Bruce.

What? Does my stuff not look good?

I picked this out for him.

He is not here.

What do you mean? Is he getting coffee or something?

No. I needed to make sure that you came here to sing with Tenika on the track and to take pictures and do the interview for the "Newark Star-Ledger" article.

And I need you to start acting like an adult in this little father/daughter thing we got going on.

Can you do that for me?

Yes.

Okay.

So he's not here? I'm not meeting him.

Definitely not.

Great.

[sighs]

Southside Johnny here?

He's not.

Thank God.

I really want to thank you. I know you wanted to get that song finished for Ava before today's rehearsal, but you really did me a solid, even if it was under duress.

It was cool of you.

I know. You were right.

And you know what? I have a first verse and I have the chorus, so she's gonna get the idea, you know? Ahem.

Hey.

[clears throat]

What's going on?

We gotta talk, brother.

Where's your gear and all your guitars?

No offense, Johnny, but you can get violent in emotionally charged situations.

[scoffs]

You guys are leaving the band.

Well, let's hope not.

John?

Yeah?

Gigi?

Yes?

Um, Flash and Ava have discovered a, um, a nascent desire that has blossomed into a living, breathing, uh, love for each other.

Now, John, it is not your fault.

Gigi, it's not your fault either.

And it's not Ava and Flash's fault.

It's, uh, well, it's a natural, organic love.

And it's... it's real. It's here.

And it's... It's all around us.

Feel it?

Now, John, I know that, uh, it's perfectly natural for you to be angry and wish to express your anger through confrontation and physical means.

[scoffs]

I'm hoping to diffuse that desire and help you understand how strong, how powerful and possibly permanent the... the feelings between these two... rays of love are.

And to fight to keep this family, this band family together, to find that greatness, that is still inside four very talented brains.

You remember my eggs?

I'm not doing the g*dd*mn eggs right now.

It's okay, I got this.

[chuckles]

[inhales deeply]

So here's what we're gonna do.

First of all, you're gonna take off your glasses.

Thanks.

We're all gonna handle this in a very professional manner.

Like professional musicians.

We are all gonna continue to go to rehearsals.

We're gonna give 110% while doing so because this isn't The Heathens.

This is The Assassins, Gigi's band, and I don't want any of this personal stuff to get in the way of where she's going.

All right?

How's that sound? Good?

Amazing. Great.

Understood?

Okay.

Yeah.

Great. All right, honey.

I need to go to your apartment and pick up some of my stuff.

Sure. When?

I'm gonna do that now.

And I'll leave my key.

Bye, guys.

Thanks.

Thank you?

I don't know. Maybe she got to Johnny.

Maybe he's growing up.

That girl has her eyes on the prize. [gasps]

Oh, my God.

Oh.

♪ If you were to tell me ♪
♪ If I didn't have to guess ♪
♪ I never would have told you ♪

I knew it was too good to be true.

sh*t.

Oh, my God.

g*dd*mn Johnny.

Oh, I don't think it was Johnny.

Yeah, those aren't his lips.

Those aren't his lips.

Son of a bitch, look at this.

What?

Oh.

She left behind the one a* that supports her vocals better than any other in my arsenal.

Like I said, eyes on the prize.

♪ ♪

Where'd you get a chainsaw?

Found it in one of his closets.

Probably bought it to start using on his stupid farm.

I hope you learned a good lesson from all this.

I did.

Chainsaws are cool as sh*t.

That's my girl.

I'm in love...

Love this part.

So very much in love I feel my heart will explode.