01x12 - Talking Points Toward a Wholistic View of Activism in Government:Can the Top Rebel?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "BrainDead". Aired June - September 2016.*
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"BrainDead" revolves around the White House, where a conspiracy is set that alien spawn have come to earth and eaten the brains of a growing number of Congressmen and Hill staffers.
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01x12 - Talking Points Toward a Wholistic View of Activism in Government:Can the Top Rebel?

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Previously on BrainDead... ♪

[Sniffs]

I...

What?

I thought you'd be happy.

I don't know what I am.

[Scoffs]

So, the CIA briefed you?

Yeah, Bob Isenstadt, the director's director.

And said there are bugs in people's brains? ‭

Yes, everything you said.

The real CIA?

You're disappointed, aren't you?

Y-You wanted it to just be your thing or...

‭No.

No.

‭Look, i-it's about bugs, Laurel.

You were right, I was wrong. Okay?

Why did he tell you this?

It's a security briefing.

The same thing the presidential candidates get.

Well, I still don't get it.

He needs us to stand down. ‭

He...

What does that mean?

He needs you to stop getting in the way.

Look, they have a handle on this.

They're lying.

‭Okay, come on, Laurel. Stop it.

Look, not everything's a conspiracy.

What are they doing? If they have a handle on it, what is it?

They were about to take Red Wheatus into custody, but you and your friends got in their way.

You were doing something with Red last night and it-it kept them from taking him in.

Were you doing something with Red last night?

Then, come on, you need to stand down.

Let the professionals do their job.

Gustav: Nope!

Uh-uh. I don't believe it.

Rochelle: Wait, what did he say exactly?

Laurel: He said the CIA is on top of it, and we're getting in their way.

That doesn't even make any sense.

How are we getting in their way?

We warned Red by trying to k*ll the bug in his head.

But why can't they arrest him anyway?

Actually, that is a good point.

Thank you.

I don't know.

But this a good thing. I mean, they know.

They're pursuing it.

Do you believe that?

Well, what's the alternative?

The CIA director is infected.

What do we do?

[Sighs]

We still need to get to Red.

He's got the queen in his head.

The injured queen. You hit it.

Yeah, but I don't think that made a difference.

It might have.

It might have.

The CIA is worried.

That's why they're trying to stop us.

We got too close.

‭Look, Red offered you money for your documentary.

Why don't you meet with him to discuss it?

‭Right. And then, we can get him to give up the queen again.

Combined receipts and expenditure accounts, uh, established to temporarily hold funds which are later refunded or paid into another...

[Panting]

Senator?

[Groans]

What do you have?

It's a swamp, it's a language swamp.

There's something in the farming authorization, but I need time.

I don't have time.

I need to argue right now. Just give me a day.

I'll have the thing they're hiding.

[Gavel bangs] ‭I can't ask for another day.

This budget is a dialectic work of art.

Stop talking about art, and just do it.

Ella: Uh, Madam Chairwoman, I would like to ask the committee if we could...

My apologies, Madam Chairman, I have a quick issue.

I-I was hoping to argue for a vote.

Just one quick thing, ma'am.

Uh, today is the day when we honor...

Native American Iraqi w*r veterans.

And I would argue that we delay all budgetary business for another day, a day when we are not honoring Iraqi w*r veterans who are Native American.

Now, many of us have to rush to, uh, church services from here.

Senator Wheatus.

Yes?

You have your hand up.

[Cameras click]

Yes.

I just want to say, I think we should vote today because... you know.

Diane: Uh, in the spirit of compassion and deference to our wounded warriors of the Indian... uh, uh, of the, uh, Native American, uh, persuasion, I suggest that we delay until tomorrow.

[Groans]

[Sighs]

[Groaning]

[Whimpers]

[Grunts]

Oh, my God.

What was that?

What was what?

Your performance.

We've only got 12 days left.

We don't have a day to spare!

Don't you think I knew that?

You're weak.

You're falling apart.

Look at your queen.

She's dying.

Get out of here!

You can't hack it anymore.

[Scoffs]

I'm taking over.

Over my dead body.

This isn't about you and me.

If we fight amongst ourselves, they win.

Exactly.

So back the hell off!

This should be fought by the powerful.

Not a man who can't get five words out without crying!

Get out. Get out!

Don't worry. She's not getting near you.

Wait, wait.

Where is footnote 289?

Who's got it?

2024 budget window.

Defer for later pay.

Oh, here, I've got it.

Good. Good.

What does it say?

Uh, "Full funding for the LWCF programs in the DOI and USDA, see footnote 345."

Ha. They're hop-scotching us.

That's when you know you are on to something, when they force you to go from footnote to footnote!

Who's got 345?

Jake?

What are you doing here?

Thought I'd bring you something from L.A.

So, it's weird to think of you with an office.

Yeah, nothing like working out of my kitchen in L.A.

[Both chuckle]

So, champagne?

You'll never guess what.

What?

We got funding.

What?

‭For the Solomon Islands.

We got the money to finish it.

Wh... are you kidding?

I me... how... W-where did it come from?

A foundation against global warming.

We can finally finish it. [Laughs]

So, um, I worked up a new schedule.

We need to commence in the next three weeks.

Uh, we want to be there for the music festival, right?

Right, right. So, how much do we have to work with?

You won't believe it. They gave us more than we asked.

$2 million.

I know, $2 million.

What foundation is this, Jake?

Uh, The Ocean League? They're legit.

Did you go to them, or did they come to you?

Uh, a bit of both.

They saw your Kickstarter campaign and came to me. Why, what's wrong?

Are you saying we need to start in three weeks, or are they saying it?

They are.

They-they want to use it as part of a series of global warming films, about the impact on the most vulnerable.

Why?

They're trying to get rid of me.

Uh, excuse me?

Okay. Tell them we'll take the money, but only if we can start in six months.

What?

Why? Laurel, this is your chance.

This is what you were always after.

You can finally finish it.

I have an obligation here.

Ah, come on. Here in D.C.?

You kidding me? It's just a bunch fat politicians talking to each other.

Come on, the Solomon Islands?

Thanks, Jake. I have to go.

What? But why?

The answer is no.

I really need to get a lock on that door.

I don't care if you pay me $2 million or $5 million, you can't get rid of me.

Good to know.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

The Ocean League?

Are you kidding me?

Do you mind? I'm trying to nap!

Is everything all right, Senator?

Oh, yeah, sure, let's have everyone come on in.

Let's... let's all hold hands.

Is everything okay?

I don't know. Ask your boss.

He wants me gone.

[Whimpering] I don't know what she's talking about.

[Melanesian Choir music plays]

[Melanesian Choir music continues]

What did she say?

She wanted to meet.

It's probably about Red, our next att*ck.

Yeah, probably.

You want to go out?

[Laughs]

What?

Would you like to go somewhere amusing?

You live in a basement apartment, Gustav.

So it's about money?

No, I... we are just very different.

And I have a boyfriend.

I haven't seen him.

I don't share everything with you.

Hi, guys.

Thanks.

Ah, no problem.

Rochelle just kicked me in the groin, but sure.

What's up?

Do you want me to come back?

Rochelle: No.

What do you do with Red?

Do we try to get the queen out again?

No. Um...

I don't know.

‭Oh, God.

Don't tell me you think we should let the CIA handle this?

No.

But you do, though? ‭

No, I just mean, what can we do?

We've tried everything we could.

When we didn't have the medical facilities, we went to the CDC.

‭Yes, and look how that turned out.

But still, what can we do?

We k*ll Red.

Rochelle: Oh, my God, you're kidding.

We wait until he's heading home, and we run our car over him.

Rochelle: You don't have a car.

Well, then we run your car over him.

We have to k*ll the bug in his head.

Am I the only one taking this seriously?

Okay, I'm out.

What?

I'm done.

Wait, what does that mean?

It means... if we are facing the end of the world, then we can't do it on our own.

Rochelle: You think we should rely on the CIA?

‭No.

She means she's done with us.

Oh, come on, Gustav.

You're just as likely to want to do this on your own because of your paranoia.

Is that what you think?

I think we should just let...

No, I think you push things to support your paranoid view of the world.

Okay.

Go to hell.

Yeah, that's where this was always headed.

Hey, guys...

No, no, no, no, I am done.

Yeah, good talking to you.

Jake, hi.

Tell the Ocean League, we'll do it.

I mean, look, I understand trying to stop this budget if it's about this bigger issue, this bug issue, and, yes, I still find it odd to talk that way, but isn't your brother just trying to stop this budget because he's a liberal?

What?

Isn't this just a liberal issue?

I mean, no matter what's going on, you and I still disagree.

I'm sorry, I'm still having trouble following.

I'm a conservative.

You're a liberal.

Our priorities are... different.

I got the money for my documentary What documentary?

No, I mean, which of the documentaries?

The yodeling one?

Melanesian Choir.

Great.

Congratulations.

I need to start in three weeks.

So you're leaving?

I just, I never finish anything.

And I can't keep creating excuses to not do what I love.

So these bugs are just an excuse?

No, but the CIA is on it.

And they briefed my brother Mm.

And said that I should stop getting involved, that I'm not doing anybody any good.

So I-I need to take this chance.

So you're leaving in three weeks?

Yeah.

No, um... a week.

Ah.

[Chuckles]

I'll be back.

And then...

What?

I don't know, if-if you still... if we still like each other, then...

We'll...

I don't know, we can-we can move in together, or whatever, whatever you want...

[Phone buzzing]

It's the senator, I have to get back.

We'll talk later.

Red: [Weakly] Gareth?

You're back.

Senator?

[Groans softly]

They're coming after me.

Are you sick, sir?

They-they smell weakness on me.

They think they can take me down.

Just because I'm not feeling too well.

We need to get you to a doctor.

N-no!

No doctors.

I need you to save me, Gareth.

Please.

We used to be close.

When I'd drop the ball, you'd pick it up.

W-What happened to those days? Senator, I'm not sure I can help you.

I need you now.

More than ever.

That's a strong grip.

The committee meets again this afternoon.

And Ella is out for blood.

You'll get me through, okay?

Use your... you'll write me a script.

[Chuckles] Like you used to do.

Yeah, and I want you right there behind me the whole time, making me look good.

We'll go full Strom Thurmond on this. [Chuckles]

You know? ‭

Senator...

No, no, just-just promise.

The people will know.

Promise me!

Why are you doing this, Senator?

What's the goal?

Survival.

Survival of who?

Whom.

Luke: You actually typed this?

I thought that was the protocol.

Since when did you worry about protocol?

I want to do this right. Well, I appreciate that.

So, you accept my resignation?

No. ‭

Luke...

Look, you can't go now. I don't belong here.

Well, I beg to differ. Look how much you've accomplished.

I don't even know what I'm doing half the time.

Well, that's a lot better than most of the people around here.

Luke, I want to make my movie.

Laurel...

Let's just get to the bottom of the budget.

Then you can go.

And when's that?

Soon.

Just don't leave me in the lurch.

[Weakly] I believe, as all conservatives believe, nay, as all Americans believe, this budget is essential.

Now, I argue that we c... [Garbled gibberish]

That we should discontinue debate and vote on this budget.

'Cause the American people are waiting for us to do our damn job.

Ella: Madam Chairwoman, as per Article 1, section 5, clause 2 of the Constitution, I would ask that this committee to dismiss Senator Wheatus from his committee chair, due to his obvious health issues.

Diane: I would entertain a vote.

At this point...

Uh, Madam.

Madam Chairwoman, I object.

I would like to remind you that you intend to be absent from this committee in order to procure a Chinese labia...

I-in order to adopt a Chinese baby.

Ella: That is very different, Madam.

Your absence has a finite date.

Senator Wheatus's sickness does not have the same start and stop date.

Red: Senator Pollack is correct.

I am recovering.

But only because I had... a proctology exam.

[Voice breaking] This is an exam that I would encourage all members to undertake.

Come on, Red. You're sick.

Stop pretending that you're not.

I am no more sick than 65% of men my age.

And I must ask my esteemed colleague where is her compression?

[Whispers] Compassion.

Oh, my God.

[Mozart's Le Nozze Di Figaro playing]

What's up?

What are you listening to?

Figaro. ‭I just wanted to remind you that if it weren't for the Republicans, we could have Kaufmann, Bartoli and Terfel here all the time.

What do you need, Ella?

There's a Republican senator...

I thought we were on the same side as the Republicans these days.

I thought so, too, but do you want Tr*mp for president?

Hillary's just as bad.

Not for art subsidies.

Red Wheatus has a chief of staff.

I need you to deal with him.

He's been propping Red up.

Okay. What's his name?

Yeah?

Alcohol.

[Laughing] I need alcohol.

Are you losing it? ‭

No, no.

I'm finding it.

Ah!

Cooks.

Champagne on a budget... I love it.

You're not worried about glass?

What are you talking about?

In the champagne... glass.

Do you not worry? ‭

Oh, no.

Glass in the budget.

What?

Drink.

Paragraph 1403, sub-paragraph 6, footnote 11: "A provision to purchase $108 million worth of glass."

Why?

I don't know. And this is for the internment camps in the farm bill?

Yes, apparently, they tried to hide it under the rubric of budgetary windows.

But, epiphany, it's a real window.

Do internment camps have many windows?

No, the whole point is not to have windows.

That list of sites for the camps, which one was closest, do you remember?

Of course I do.

My memory is almost photographic.

Well, more like an artist's rendering.

Manassas, Virginia.

It's about an hour from here.

You want to go on a field trip?

To Manassas? ‭

Yes. I have one week left here. I want to make it count.
Stockwell: The problem is the credit card function only gives you the option of a 20% or more tip. What if I want to leave less?!

It's the little indignities of life!

They're very clean.

May I help you?

Hi. My name's Laurel Healy. This is...

Hardy.

We work for Senator Healy.

Hardy is the senator's... chief of staff.

Hello. How are you?

Good. It's about time somebody came out here to check on things.

This whole thing is so messed up.

Well, you know, we're doing our best.

Messed up how? ‭

Well, the plumbing, for one thing. I keep telling them it's not adequate.

We got pipes for a sprinkler system but no bathrooms.

Very disappointing. And I don't care what else is going on.

Where are people gonna do their business?

The plans say each building is supposed to hold 500 beds.

Foreman: Yeah, tell me about it. I got 30 truckloads of potting soil arriving on Thursday.

We haven't even put up all the glass roofs yet.

They're not internment camps.

There you are. I thought I told you to stay at your desk.

They're hothouses.

They're not gonna be filled with beds.

They're flower beds, to grow cherry blossoms.

What are you talking about?

That's how the bugs spread. They're building hothouses all over the country so they can take over.

And they're using federal money.

They need the cherry blossoms.

Oh, God. ‭

What? Luke, you need to tell the CIA about this.

They said they've got it under control.

‭Yes.

But do they know this? Do they know it's not just D.C.

It's in 80 towns in every state?

Laurel, you're leaving.

Just leave it to them.

Luke, tell them.

This could be about America, not just D.C.

[Knocking]

Okay.

Got it.

Luke, tell them.

I will.

Go see your boyfriend.

Hey.

You been drinking?

I have. A bit.

Little bit.

This much.

You want me to get you an Uber?

No.

I needed to ask you something.

Sure, what?

It's gonna sound wrong.

But you're leaving, so... it's okay.

Okay.

Marry me.

Excuse me?

Marry me.

And...

I'm going now.

Bye.

Senator, hello.

They said you wanted to see me?

Yes, thank you for making time.

I have nothing but time, Senator. Good.

Well, uh, this is regarding our subject from the other day.

Yes?

Uh, my sister has discovered a plan to insert funding for 80 hothouses in the federal farming bill.

Well, it seems they're transporting cherry blossoms across state lines, and I was just making sure you were aware of it.

[Chuckles]

I thought I asked you and your sister to stand down, Senator.

Uh, yes.

And we were, but this information came up and...

Senator, you take your job very seriously, I see that.

I take my job seriously, too.

I would never pretend to do your job.

Please extend me the same courtesy.

Good seeing you.

This is my job, Director.

And this funding is in the farming bill.

We're voting on this bill today.

We have it under control.

So you knew about it?

We did.

And thank you for coming in.

One more thing, Director.

Yes, Senator?

Did you also know these bugs are considering ways to infiltrate our water supply?

Yes, Senator, we're on top of that, too.

Please.

Allow us to do our job.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Door opens]

Hey.

Hey.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Just waiting for you.

With my wedding photo in your lap?

Yeah.

Hmm.

That was a good day.

[Sighs] It was.

Did you tell the CIA?

Yep.

And?

The CIA is lying.

They don't want me to get involved.

Why?

Because they're afraid of what I'll do with the budget.

Why do you say that?

Well, I-I told them about the hothouses.

They said they were on top of it.

Maybe they are. I mean, maybe we should just let them...

No, no, I made up something, too.

The bugs infecting the water supply.

They said they were on top of that, also.

What are you gonna do?

Get mad.

[Quiet laugh]

Does that help?

It can.

Who are you calling?

Dad.

Why?

To get his advice.

You can't.

Why not?

Luke, what's up?

Let me see your hand, Dad.

What do you mean?

Put your hand up.

Why? [Laughs]

It's getting a little better.

Stop it.

Whoa, stop what?

You're not sick.

Stop it!

Ah, the medication's getting a lot better.

What has your sister been telling you?

Fairy tales, Luke?

You're the pragmatist.

She's a dreamer.

Bunch of sci-fi nonsense.

Oh, my God.

What?

Talk to me. I'm right here.

‭No.

No...

I'm on my own.

You don't want me as an enemy.

I don't want it.

But I guess it just is.

[Gavel bangs]

Diane: The time allotted for debate on this matter has come to an end, so if no one has anything to add...

Madam Chairwoman, I'd like to say something.

Oh, for God's sake.

Diane: Senator Healy, I'll give you three minutes.

[Sighs]

Now, we all know this budget is being shoved down the American people's throats in the hopes that if we look like we're doing something, anything, no matter how ill-conceived, they'll shut up and stop asking questions.

But our job is to ask questions.

Questions like what are these structures being built with money for farm subsidies?

Why are they made with tons of expensive glass?

Now, how can we take a vote until we know the answer to those questions?

Now, I say we carve out the farm provisions from the overall budget and open them up for debate and amendment.

This is just a delay tactic.

I'm trying to get at the truth!
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