01x14 - They Grow Up So Fast

[bunniefuu]

Well, congratulations, guys, that was our tenth mission this week.

Only ten?

It feels more like a hundred.

Using superpowers really takes it out of you.

My whole body's sore. (Groans)

Yeah, mine too.

(Groans in pain)

Oh, it hurts more to sit!

OK, you guys haven't even had your powers that long, and you're already complaining.

Yeah, um, I have been running hundreds of miles an hour since I was a baby.

Don't you talk to me about sore until you have bionic blisters.

(Boys recoil)

Rookies.

Ow!

Bree: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Man, if we feel this bad now, what's gonna happen when we get older?

I don't know.

Ooh! But I can show you what we'll look like.

Yeah, I have this app that ages photos.

(Shutter clicks)

That is you at 80.

Ugh!

(Chuckles) Cute mustache.

Mustache?

Yeah, that's all nose hair.

Guys, why are you so freaked out about growing older, anyway?

It's just a part of life.

Personally, I am looking forward to aging gracefully.

Oh, really?

Hmm.

'Cause this is you. (Shutter clicks)

So? Big deal.

That's what everybody looks like when they're 80.

Dude, that's you at 40.

What! Gimme!

Yeah. You're gonna need a new phone 'cause this one just broke.

(Theme song playing)

(Groaning)

(Both boys groaning)

Just so you know, nothing about this picture says "superhero."

Hey, guys. Guess what?

Tasha and my baby sister are coming to visit.

Oh, great!

We finally get to meet the woman that has to spend every waking moment with Mr. Davenport.

Never mind us. She's the real hero.

Where have you been?

Fighting Father Time.

Have you seen what I look like on Kaz's app?

I'm trying to create a device to reverse the aging process.

I've been up all night splitting molecules and splicing DNA.

Wow, Chase, only you can make the phrase "up all night" sound boring.

Hey, guys!

Hey! There she is! Hey!

Guys, this is my little sister, Naomi. Oh, hi, Naomi.

(All speaking in baby talk)

Skylar: Oh, my goodness.

(Clears throat) So cute!

Oh, uh, right, and this is, uh, Naomi's mom. (Chuckles)

Aw, she's so cute! (Tasha chuckling)

Too bad it won't last.

It's only a matter of time before she looks like a wrinkly, old, hairless goblin!

Good to see you, Tasha.

So, uh, what's it like having a baby in the house?

I mean, other than Mr. Davenport.

I love it!

It's just with Donald working so much, it's hard to find time for myself.

I don't suppose you guys would wanna watch her for a bit?

Uh, sorry. No can do.

Babies freak me out.

I mean, those things don't even have kneecaps, and I don't trust anything without kneecaps.

Oh, you don't want me near your kid. (Chuckles)

I can barely take care of myself. (Laughs)

I'd love to watch her.

Really? Thank you, Skylar.

Uh, no, it's... It's OK.

I-I'm Naomi's big sister, so I'll watch her.

Come here.

(Naomi cries)

That's weird. She almost never cries.

Here, let me try.

(Nervous chuckle) OK.

(Naomi stops crying)

(Cooing)

That's weird.

She almost never takes to strangers.

She's not taking to strangers, OK?

She's just frightened into silence by her three alien heartbeats.

(Naomi starts crying)

And she's crying again.

OK, I know she's crying!

She's a baby. It's what they do!

You know, I really don't need to go out.

I haven't had a moment to myself for eleven months, what's another day?

Tasha, please, look, I can handle her. Don't you trust me?

Of course I do, Bree.

Here you go.

(Naomi stops crying)

You can let go of her now.

Right.

You're still holding on to her.

Am I?

Yes.

That's OK. Oh! OK.

(Bree laughs nervously) Feel free to ask the alien girl for help.

(Naomi crying)

That's just her saying good-bye.

It's OK.

Hey, Chase, you figured out a way to reverse the aging process?

No!

So far I've only figured out how to speed it up.

How far did you go?

You're looking a little rough.

I didn't use it on me!

Yeah, Kaz, that haggard face is all natural.

Watch. This is my problem.

Right now, it's a perfectly ripe apple.

And now it's been aged 12 years.

Hey, I like dried fruit.

Maybe it gets better with age.

(Soft chuckle)

Yeah. It doesn't.

(Naomi crying)

Oh! Please don't cry. I...

Ooh, what if I sing you a nursery rhyme?

I bet you'd like that, huh?

Uh... Nursery rhyme. Nursery rhyme, uh...

♪ Look, this is a nursery rhyme ♪

(Bree chuckles nervously)

♪ You're having a good time ♪
♪ Listening to the nursery rhyme ♪

(Crying continues)

Wow, you're good.

Hey, I grew up in a basement.

The only nursery rhyme I know is the buzzing of a nuclear generator.

Yeah? Well, I was raised by a blob of lava that didn't have a mouth, and even I know "Twinkle, twinkle, little star."

Always gotta play the alien card, don't you?

She seems really upset. Maybe I should hold her.

No! (Crying continues)

Fine. Then I guess you got this.

Yeah, I do.

OK, then.

All righty, then.

Call me if you need me.

Thanks, but I won't.

(Naomi crying)

OK, all right.

It's just you and me now, baby girl.

Oh, maybe you're just hungry!

Yes! OK.

Um, oh!

Look, it's everybody's favorite, mushy green stuff.

Ugh.

All right, here you go.

Yeah. (Laughs)

(Naomi spits) Oh!

OK...

(Groans) Guess you're not hungry.

(Crying continues)

Um, OK, uh...

Why don't I go set you over there with your toys while I get cleaned up, OK?

(Naomi spits) Oh! Oh!

Ew!

OK, that time you were clearly aiming for my face.

Hmm.

(Naomi crying feebly)

(Whispers) OK, sit right there.

(Stops crying)

(Breathes deeply)

♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪

(Shrugs) Yeah, I don't know it.

No!

(Screams) It's after me!

I knew this would happen!

How did she get into the hyperlift?

I don't know.

She's doing a great job at dusting the floor.

(Chuckles) Look at her go!

Yes, for a creature without kneecaps, she is extremely agile.

Well, don't just stand there. Pick her up.

I don't know how to pick up a baby.

You do it.

Oh, come on. How hard can it be?

(Naomi cooing)

OK...

I just, uh...

(Cooing)

(Groans)

Maybe it's more like, uh...

(Naomi whimpers)

Yeah, I got nothin'.

(Cooing)

Her giant baby eyes are piercing through my soul!

Make it stop! Make it stop!

Kaz: Hey...

Oh, it's squishy!

(Bowl shatters)

Great! Look at what you made me do!

(Sighs) Keep her occupied while I clean this up.

(Cooing)

(Baby talks)

Here, Naomi, you want a blankie?

Dude, what do you think you're doing?

It's baby talk. I'm trying to speak her language.

No, that's my blankie.

Really?

Yes, really.

You know I get the chillies.

Uh, guys, my mangoes are missing.

Ah, I see 'em.

Hey, has anyone seen the aging device?

(Cooing)

Aw! Look, she thinks it's a toy. (Chuckles)

(Yelps)

Finally.

Kneecaps.

Whoa! What just happened?

Aw! Her first words!

(Door opens)

(Out of breath) Uh, guys, have you seen Naomi?

I'm Naomi.

Very funny. (Scoffs)

(Shocked) Naomi!

I'm a big girl now.

(Baby talk)

Yes, you are!

Chase, what is going on?

Did you let her play with one of your little nerd toys?

No, she wandered down here and got a hold of one of my little nerd toys.

She must have crawled in the hyperlift while I was cleaning up.

Oh, cool, well, then, I think we can all agree that this is your fault.

No, Chase, turn her back into a baby right now.

I can't. I haven't been able to cr*ck age reversal yet, but if you're looking for bumpy veins and liver spots, I'm your man.

OK, well, you need to do something because Tasha is gonna be back any minute, and I promised her that I would do a good job taking care of Naomi.

Hey, I'd say you did a great job.

I mean, in a couple of hours, you raised a polite, well-adjusted teenager.

(Door opens)

Hey, guys.

Who's this?

Naomi. She crawled away while Bree was babysitting and now she's a big goofy teenager.

(Oliver chuckles)

(Chuckles) Wow, Bree, you are not good at taking care of kids.

(Chuckles)

Here we go.

This should keep you warm.

Wow. Look at that.

My hoodie fits you perfectly. (Chuckles)

Can't believe I'm saying that to a one-year-old.

Oh! Toys!

Naomi, no! No, no.

(All straining)

That's mine!

(Straining)

Hey, girls!

(Gasps) Tasha! You're back!

Who's your friend?

Uh, w-what friend?

Hi! Uh...

Oh! Oh, this is... Jenny!

Her name is Jenny.

Yeah. (Naomi giggling)

Oh! Mama!

Little weird, aren't you, Jenny?

Naomi: Oh!

Hmm, so how'd it go with the baby?

Great. Perfect. Awesome.

Yeah, I... I think all the time she spent with Bree really made her grow as a person.

Naomi: Oh!

So, where is my little girl?

Oh, she's, uh... Um... she... she's down in mission command... w-with the boys.

They couldn't resist babysitting her.

She's just so darn cute. (Chuckles)

I should go down and check on her.

Oh, no, you shouldn't.

I mean, um, you should just sit down and relax. Yeah. (Laughing nervously)

(Giggling)

(Bree chuckles nervously)

Is she OK?

(Blows raspberry)

Yeah, she's fine.

She's just a little bit of a kook. (Chuckles)

When she gets bored, she starts tossing things up in the air and eating keys.

Um, I'm gonna bring her downstairs, uh, while you... you get to know Skylar!

What! No! Don't leave me with her!

I mean, because that would be so selfish.

Like, you and Bree should catch up. I'll go.

Uh, no, uh...

Tasha and I are fine. We talk all the time.

No, we don't.

You won't even give me your phone number.

I...I'll give you Bree's number.

But it's in my phone downstairs.

Jenny and I will go get it.

Bye!

Naomi: Whee!

Well, that was rude. (Chuckles)

Almost as rude as this.

(Door opens)

Please tell me it's going well down here.

I could, but that would be a tremendous lie.

I'm feeling cozy.

OK, Tasha is freaking out, so you two need to go upstairs and stall her.

What? Why us?

Because you're the kings of meaningless conversation.

Eh, she's not wrong.

(Beeps)

Yes! I think I got it!

Really? Yeah!

By tightening the telomeres to the DNA before the cell divided itself, I was able to reverse the aging process...

Yeah, yeah. No one cares.

Yes, it's working!

Oh, no!

I didn't get a great look at her before.

Did she always look like that?

How could this happen?

I don't know. I should have tested it on more fruit.

Where is my fruit?

Sorry.

Fix this.

OK. I just need to get some more equipment and fruit.

Skyler, can you help me?

Why me?

Because you're eating my banana.

Well, considering who your father is, big heads do run in the family.

My neck hurts.

So...

Chase tells us that you're a wife.

What's that like?

Yeah, and don't you dare leave anything out.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to seem interested.

By turning into J. Lo?

That was not J. Lo. It was obviously Beyoncé.

Beyoncé's from Texas. She doesn't speak like that.

I didn't know Beyoncé's from Texas!

OK, what is going on here?

Bree said she was gonna get Naomi 15 minutes ago.

I need to see my baby.

No, you... you can't go in there.

Why not?

Because, uh, you...

Haven't had a chance to see our superpowers yet.

If you don't get out of my way, I'm gonna show you a superpower or two, starting with my death-stare.

What is that? That's, like, not even a thing.

Yeah, it looks pretty real to me.

OK, out of my way.

Oh! Wait, uh, you haven't seen our coolest ability of all.

(Tasha screams)

Don't worry. He almost never drops anyone.

Good news. She's back to normal.

Chase, she is a baby trapped in a 16-year-old's body.

That ain't normal.

On my planet, you stay a baby for 25 years...

You are not helping.

I want my mama.

Naomi, listen to me.

I am so sorry.

This whole thing is my fault.

I just... I wanted to spend time with you and prove that I could be a good big sister... not just to your mom, but to myself.

Bree: I wanted you to look up to me.

But now that this whole thing happened, you probably think I am the worst sister ever.

That's a lot of words.

I don't even know why I'm telling you this.

You're just a baby.

You're nice.

(Door opens)

OK, what is going on?

(Naomi squeals in excitement)

Mama!

Back off, Jenny. Who raised you?

Now, where is my baby?

Um...

Look, Tasha, there's something I have to tell you.

So, right after you left, I turned my back on Naomi for, like, two seconds, and she... Yes! I found the fix!

For one of my nerdy science things.

Carry on.

Keep going. You turned your back on Naomi for two seconds and she... she... looked so cute, I...I just had to take a picture.

Here, let me show you. (Chuckles)

No, that's not it.

Yes!

And that's not it either.

I don't even know what that is.

Bree, these are just pictures of boys you like, which is a lot!

We should talk.

Hey, why look at a picture of Naomi when you can just look at the real thing?

Oh, yes! There you are!

Tasha: Oh!

I was really starting to think something had happened to you!

(Scoffs)

Nope, she's fine, but I am gonna need that blanket back, and I'm definitely want it dry-cleaned.

(Chuckles)

Well, that's weird. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you got bigger since I left.

(Nervous laughter) No way!

No. What? No!

Come on! That's impossible!

(Laughing) No! She might have.

Well, Tasha... (Chuckles) sorry you didn't enjoy your little aerial tour of the city, but look at the bright side!

You're probably the first person to vomit on top of Mr. Davenport's tower.

I'll be sure to let him know.

(Naomi cooing)

(All speaking in baby talk)

(Tasha chuckles)

Oliver, it's just a baby.

Stop being weird and say good-bye.

(Naomi cooing)

Uh...

Y-Yeah, I'd rather be weird.

I must say, Bree, I underestimated you.

You make a great babysitter.

I am definitely gonna hit you up more often.

Wait, really?

Thanks!

Can I hold her one more time before you go?

Sure.

Oh, hi...

Ah! Oh, wow!

Look at that. She's not crying.

I guess we finally bonded.

(Chuckles) Here you go.

Oh! Oh! Oh, my little muffin!

(Laughs)

Oh. I hope she never grows up.

I can help you with that.