02x06 - Monster

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lucifer". Aired: January 2016 to present.*

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"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
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02x06 - Monster

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Lucifer...

LUCIFER: Roommates? You and Detective Decker?

CHLOE: I think it's gonna be fine. With a short adjustment period.

You made a deal to return Mom to hell, in exchange, Chloe's life was spared.

What if Dad decides to take back his side of the deal?

Uriel: Hello, brother.

LUCIFER: Uriel.

You have 24 hours, or I'll finish what I started with your detective.

Uriel is here?

MAZE: He's after Chloe, or that bitch you call Mom.

LUCIFER: Well, worry not, because Uriel won't be a problem.

We have a nuclear w*apon.


LUCIFER: (scoffs) How did he b*at you, brother?

Amenadiel: I no longer have my powers.

I'm letting Uriel take me back to hell.

Lucifer: There is always another way. That's Azrael's blade.

You're not planning on taking Mom back to hell.

Uriel: Because you made it so difficult, now I'm gonna take out Mom and the detective.

LUCIFER: I k*lled him. What have I done?

(sobs)

♪ ♪

Man: We are gathered here today to mourn a great loss.

Peggy, Edgar.

Your single life is dead.

(crowd chuckles and applauds)

♪ Dance like a monster ♪

But your life of wedded bliss is just beginning.

She's gorgeous even as a freakin' zombie.

(sighs) I hate her.

Man: If anyone objects to this unholy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.

(g*nsh*t)

(grunts)

(woman screams)

Bride: Edgar!

Oh, my God, help!

Someone call the ambulance!

Please, this is real!

Somebody call an ambulance, please!

(grunts)

(crowd screams and clamors)

♪ ♪
♪ You can't fight the temptation ♪
♪ When you get the vibration ♪
♪ It won't do you no good ♪
♪ It won't do you no good ♪

(woman chuckles)

♪ And you better start running ♪
♪ When you hear the man coming ♪
♪ It won't do you no good ♪
♪ It won't do you no good ♪
♪ No, we don't mind ♪
♪ If you don't mind ♪
♪ Hell, I never mind ♪
♪ Now don't let them all break you ♪

Howdy, g*ng.

Martini, extra dry, just like I like it.

Lucifer?

LUCIFER: Doctor! (whoops) Come to join the party?
No, I'm here to check on you.

You didn't show for our session.

LUCIFER: Yeah, yeah. I know, I canceled that.

LINDA: Yeah, which is odd, because you never cancel. Is everything okay?

LUCIFER: Mm! It's fine, just a little family drama, that's all. Nothing to worry about.

LINDA: Family drama?

LUCIFER: Mm. My brother d*ed.

LINDA: Amenadiel?

LUCIFER: Mm! (chuckling): No, no. No, I... another brother. I have many.

LINDA: Lucifer, I'm so sorry.

LUCIFER: Oh, it's fine, what's done is done, eh? Whiskey?

LINDA: No, no, you... Lucifer, patients often avoid sessions precisely when they need it the most. When the feelings are too painful.

LINDA: Are you sure you don't need to talk?

LUCIFER: Well, I think there are a few other things I'd rather do, you know.

LINDA: No, no. Okay, Lucifer, no, no, no.

LUCIFER: (chuckling): Come on.

LINDA: No, we're not doing that anymore, and you know that.

LUCIFER: (scoffs)

LINDA: Now, I'm here if you want to talk about your brother's death, but in a... in an appropriate manner.

LUCIFER: Oh, what's the point? You wouldn't understand me, anyway. You think everything I say is a metaphor. Now if you don't mind, you're k*lling my buzz. Ladies.

LINDA: Well, if you change your mind, my door is always open.

(women chuckling)

LUCIFER: Well, feel free to shut it.

♪ ♪
(Chloe's place)
(woman and child laughing)

TRIXIE: Look, Mommy, I'm swinging!

CHLOE: Hey, baby, get off of that. Hey. Can you let Maze and Mommy talk for a minute? Please?

TRIXIE: Mm-hmm. Okay.

CHLOE: Seriously? A sex swing?

MAZE: I know, right? You want to hop on?

CHLOE: Okay, if we're gonna live together, we need to have some house rules. Rule number one, and I can't believe I'm saying this, no sex swing.

MAZE: You said I could bring my furniture.

CHLOE: A sex swing is not furniture. We have to agree on what's gonna be in the common area, Maze.

MAZE: Fine, I don't agree with your cheesy decorations.

CHLOE: You don't like Halloween?

MAZE: Of course I do. Slutty outfits, humans abandoning their inhibitions, masquerade orgies.
That's great.

CHLOE: But that's not our Halloween. You live with a child now. You're gonna have to rethink how you look at things.

MAZE: Oh. Do I?

Maybe living together was a bad idea.

MAZE: Now that's something we can agree on.

(phone rings)

CHLOE: Decker.

♪ ♪

Dan: This is Peggy Russo. She's a movie makeup artist from Studio City. d*ed from a single sh*t to the chest.

Still waiting on ballistics, but it looks like it's a large caliber b*llet, most likely from a r*fle.

CHLOE: Anyone see the sh**t?

DAN: Ah, we're still combing through the guest list, but so far, no. Everyone was focused on the ceremony.

CHLOE: What about the wait staff?

DAN: Questioned them first, nothing. But we're running everyone's info, see if we have any priors.

Great.

Dead center sh*t.

You said, the... what? The groom was hit in the arm?

Yeah.

So he botches the first sh*t, and aces the second?

Maybe the bride was the intended target, and the groom just got in the way.

Where is he now?

Uh, he's over with the medics.

(tires screech)

WOMAN: I can't believe she's gone. Why would anybody want to do this?

CHLOE: Did Peggy have problems with anyone? Anyone you know of that would've wanted to hurt her?

(Lucifer burps)

WOMAN: (crying): No. Peggy's amazing. She's beautiful and smart and funny.

CHLOE: Sorry. I'm sorry I have to ask you these questions.

LUCIFER: Oh! Devil's food cake. I've definitely come to the right place. There we go.

CHLOE: Oh, Lucifer. So good of you to show. You realize you're late, yeah? Oh, and you're eating possible evidence.

LUCIFER: What?

CHLOE: Give me that.

LUCIFER: (mouth full): Surely all this food can't go to waste, Detective.

CHLOE: You look like hell.

(snickers)

(imitates rimshot)

LUCIFER: Not heard that before.

CHLOE: Are you drunk?

LUCIFER: I wish. Pesky supernatural metabolism keeps getting in the way. Still doesn't stop me trying, though.

CHLOE: No! No drinking at a crime scene.

Fine. What m*rder are we solving today? I mean, everyone here looks dead.

CHLOE: We have an injured groom and a deceased bride.

LUCIFER: Oh, they got to that "till death do us part" nonsense quickly, didn't they?

CHLOE: The bride suffered a g*nsh*t wound to the chest.

LUCIFER: Chest? sh**t didn't go for the head? First rule of zombie k*lling. (sniffs)

CHLOE: Do you want to work this case with me or not?

LUCIFER: Of course I do. Every k*ller must be punished.

CHLOE: Good. Then you stay here. Find some water. Calm down. I'm gonna talk to some witnesses, and pull yourself together. You look like a homeless magician.

(sighs)

LUCIFER: Well... hello, bridesmaids. So, which one of you horrifying zombettes wanted the bride dead then, hey? Surely she put each of you through hell. All brides do, am I right?

(chuckles)

LUCIFER: Yeah, let me guess. She wanted you lose weight, didn't she? You to cover your tattoos. Forced you to buy a tea-length dress that does nothing for your cankles. And did any of you want to wear this... hideous zombie makeup?

(sobs)

LUCIFER: Oh, hello. You look suspicious. Tell me, what did you want to do to our corpse bride?

I wanted to ruin her wedding.

Ah-ha, right.

LUCIFER: Let me guess, you were in love with the groom. This is always about jealousy, isn't it?

WOMAN: No! It was Peggy.

LUCIFER: Oh, much more interesting, go on.

WOMAN: She was so disgustingly perfect, I hated it. How could anyone compare?

LUCIFER: So remove the competition, got it.

WOMAN: I told her ex-boyfriend Jason where the wedding was gonna be.

Hmm.

WOMAN: Hoping he'd... I don't know, show up and make a scene.

Oh.

WOMAN: But I never imagined that he would k*ll her. (crying): This is all my fault.

LUCIFER: Oh. No, no, no, no, come, come. Don't do that. Guilt is such a useless emotion. It's completely unflattering on such a beautiful face.

WOMAN: You... you think I'm beautiful?

LUCIFER: (chuckles) Oh!

(kissing, moaning, and squealing)

CHLOE: Lucifer, what are you doing?

LUCIFER: Detective, I've found you a lead.

CHLOE: Where... in her mouth?

LUCIFER: Yes, actually! Imagine what I can find in other orifices.

Ooh!

(chuckles)

LUCIFER: Okay. I apologize. I'm just being thorough. Call me. Easy!

(indistinct chatter)

Chloe: What has gotten into you? I thought you were getting the hang of this.

LUCIFER: I got you a lead, didn't I? The ex-boyfriend, you looking into him?

CHLOE: Yeah, Dan's on it, but that's not the point. This whole new thing, you making out with witnesses? Completely inappropriate.

LUCIFER: When are you going to get it? Inappropriate is what I do.

CHLOE: You've always been a pain in the ass, Lucifer, but I've never seen you like this. What's going on? What happened?

LUCIFER: Just enough of the questioning, Detective. Reprimand me or let's get on with it.

(scoffs)

DAN: Wow.

CHLOE: Can I talk to you, please? (groans) Pull your pants up.

CHLOE: Hi.

DAN: Hey, what's up with him? Looks like he just rolled out of bed or something.

Chloe: I don't know. There's just something completely off about him today.

DAN: Yeah, well, there's something's really off about him every day.

CHLOE: No, no, it's different. He's missing his usual... extreme glee. He-he just seems really dark.

DAN: Look, is he gonna be a problem? 'Cause you know I wouldn't mind if you send him home.

CHLOE: Nope, not a problem.

DAN: You sure?

CHLOE: Yep, got it. I can handle it. What'd you get from ballistics?

DAN: I confirmed large caliber b*llet from a r*fle, long-range. I have a team searching a wider perimeter for more evidence.

(door swings open)

And I finished the background check on everyone at the wedding. All clean.

But the ex-boyfriend, Jason Myers, he's not.

He's got one aggravated as*ault, two weapons violations.

I have him waiting in interrogation for you.

LUCIFER: Well... hello, bad guy.

DAN: Lucifer, open the damn door!

(banging on door)

Chloe: Lucifer! Lucifer, open this door right now!

(sobbing)

CHLOE: Lucifer, what are you doing?

LUCIFER: (sighs) Just having a little chitchat with our friend here. Care to know what I've learned?

CHLOE: You get out of there now.

LUCIFER: Oh, she's so demanding. Well... he's innocent.

Chloe: Oh, did you figure that out before or after you tortured him?

DAN: You tortured a suspect?

LUCIFER: I didn't lay a finger on the spineless cretin.

DAN: Come on, the guy's sitting on the floor crying.

LUCIFER: Crying because of a woman, not me... the bride, to be specific. However, he did not k*ll her.

CHLOE: And you know that how?

LUCIFER: He said he couldn't take seeing the bride so happy, so he ran off, crying... Surprise, surprise... Well before the sh**ting started.

CHLOE: And you believed that?

LUCIFER: Of course not. He had an alibi.

CHLOE: Really?

LUCIFER: Yes. Leaving the park on the service road, he bumped into a wedding musician.
Didn't get a name, but he had a buzz cut and a guitar case.

CHLOE: A guitar? No. They booked a DJ, not a live band.

LUCIFER: Trust me, crying guy isn't lying.

CHLOE: Maybe, but maybe there wasn't a guitar in that case.

LUCIFER: Oh, so you think our musician might be the sh**t.

He's pretty shaken up, but he's gonna be okay. You're lucky.

CHLOE: Okay, I still have to question properly.

But there's a possibility that Jason saw our sh**t, and he may have been carrying his r*fle in a guitar case.

Last seen on the park service road.

I'm on it.

You're welcome.

Excuse me? What you just did in there is incredibly inappropriate. Are you trying to get in trouble or are you trying to piss me off?

LUCIFER: I did what I had to do. Got results, didn't I?

CHLOE: If you pull one more stunt like that, I don't care how effective you are, I will bench you.

(single note resonates)

GODDESS: I take it you heard about Uriel? Is Lucifer here?

No, he's out. Probably in the middle of some three-way, like nothing happened.

GODDESS: Not everyone grieves the same way. Lucifer, he's never been one to... face his emotions. Instead of looking in, he acts out. You know, a rebellion here, an apple there? But you...
How are you doing? Come on, tell your mom.

AMENADIEL: When I first heard of Uriel's death, I wanted to blame Lucifer. But... then I realized I was just as much to blame, if not more. None of this would have happened if I still had my...

GODDESS: Your powers.

AMENADIEL: How did you know?

GODDESS: A mother knows. But I also know it's possible to regain your strength. That we both can.

AMENADIEL: No, Mom, it's too late. Uriel would... He would still be alive if it wasn't for me.

GODDESS: Come, there's something you need to see.

Okay, so we found something near the service road.

Look at this.

It's a nice little hiding spot behind some bushes.

Disturbed ground.

Clear view of the stage.

Someone with a r*fle could've made this sh*t.

What's that?

That... is a pastry napkin from a Dutch food truck.

LUCIFER: "Freddy's Dutch Oven"? (sniffs) Love this place. Unfortunate name, but best stroopwafel in Hollywood.

The napkin is definitely from today.

The syrup is still wet to the touch.

And undoubtedly tasty.

So if the sh**t bought this stroop... whatever you call it...

With his credit card, we can track his identity.

So we need to get to the food truck and talk to the owner.

I will put out a BOLO.

What is it with you and BOLOs?

LUCIFER: Why don't you just use Freddy's Dutch Oven app? Gives you their current locale. You never know when you're in the mood for a good strooping.

♪ You better mount up ♪
♪ You better ride on ♪
♪ You better run ♪
♪ Run away ♪
♪ ♪

You know what?

You stay here.

Don't move. I'll do the talking.

LUCIFER: Fine by me.

Detective Decker, LAPD. Are you the owner?

Alfred Loomis, but you can call me Freddy.

And let me guess. You look like a "chocolade hagelslag" kind of girl.

Am I right?

Sir, earlier today you served a man with a buzz cut, possibly carrying a guitar case.

Does that ring a bell?

LUCIFER: If I may, one order of "oliebollen," please.

What?

LUCIFER: Oliebollen. Literally means "oily balls." Tastes better than it sounds, believe me.

Thank you.

No, sorry, Detective, I don't remember anyone like that.

But I wasn't here during the morning shift.

Um, Freddy, I forgot to tell you a guy like that was here when I opened.

He was asking when you'd be around.

Asking for me specifically?

LUCIFER: Actually, you know what? Make the two orders, please. I'm famished.

(impatient groans, murmurs)

Lucifer...

(g*nshots)

Everybody down!

(panicked screams)

(sirens approaching)

sh**t on the roof. Victim in the truck.

Secure the scene!

LUCIFER: Bloody hell!

(seagulls cawing)

(distant siren wailing)
LUCIFER: Not very polite of Mr. sh**t to leave without saying good-bye.

His b*ll*ts are saying plenty.

LUCIFER: Well, why sh**t Food Truck Freddy, just 'cause you were questioning him?

No, this was premeditated.

The sh**t came here to find him, then went to sh**t the bride, then came back when he knew Freddy would be here.

This guy's got a list.

God, who's next?

(chuckles) He's not gonna tell you.

Come bloody on!

(sighs)

(banging on machine)

What are you doing?

LUCIFER: That's twice now today I've been denied snacks.

You got change for a hundie?

Oh, God.

All right, ballistics confirmed the same r*fle was used in both sh**t, but no prints were found on the rooftop.

This guy paid cash at the food truck.

He really covers his tracks.

If I could just find a connection between our two victims.

But Peggy Russo and Freddy Loomis seem to have nothing in common.

LUCIFER: Apart from being dead.

Uh, maybe they were just randomly chosen.

Mm, my gut says no.

This guy is too calculating.

Deliberate.

Until we find a link between these t...

LUCIFER: Teeny-tiny doughnuts, or cool ranch puffs?

CHLOE: Lucifer, you can't just steal food in the middle of the precinct.

LUCIFER: Why? Are you gonna put me on the naughty step, so I can have a think about what I've done?

(cell phone rings)

CHLOE: Hey, Monkey. Yes, yeah, I-I'm really sorry. Work got busy. Yes, I really, really want to take you trick-or-treating. But if Mommy or Daddy can't make it home in time, Babysitter Shelly might have to take you, okay?
Oh, she already left.
CHLOE: What? Why?

I don't know.

But when she went into Maze's room, she ran out screaming.

It was hilarious.

CHLOE: Who's watching you now?

Maze.

Can she take me trick-or-treating?

CHLOE: No.

Mommy, please?

I promise I'll be good.

CHLOE: Yeah, babe, it's not you that I'm worried about.

Please, please, please, please?

CHLOE: (huffs) All right, put Maze on the phone.

MAZE: Yeah?

CHLOE: What did you do to the babysitter?

MAZE: Me? She's the one who didn't knock. I had no time to hide my toys.

CHLOE: Okay, Maze, look, I have a favor to ask you.

MAZE: That's Lucifer's thing.

CHLOE: I know, but I'll never find a sitter this late. And trick-or-treating is really important to Trixie, Maze. Will you please take her for me?

Sure, I'll take your offspring for a walk.

CHLOE: Well, she's not a dog, but thank you. Okay, don't let her out of your sight, please check her candy, and take her early, like 3:00.

MAZE: Great. Best after-parties don't start till 3:00 anyway.

CHLOE: Not 3:00 a.m., 3:00 p.m. I want her home before dark. And do not take her to any parties.

MAZE: (scoffs) Lame. But whatever, your kid.

CHLOE: Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, oh, did you see the costume? I laid it on the bed.

Uh...

MAZE: What's wrong?

I told Mommy I wanted to be a princess when I was seven.

Now I'm eight.

MAZE: And?

Halloween's supposed to be the one night you get to be whatever you want.

MAZE: What do you want to be?

Where did he go?

Hey. I've been talking to the food truck owner's wife.

She doesn't recognize the zombie bride, and doesn't think she has any connection to her husband.

Two victims, two devastated spouses.

Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way.

Mrs. Loomis, I'm sorry.

I know you're going through a lot.

I have one more question for you, okay?

Do you recognize this man?

Yes, that's Edgar... Romero.

How do you know him?

We've worked together.

I'm a doctor.

He's a lawyer.

He handles many of our hospital's malpractice suits.

He's married to the other victim?

Yes, but the connection we've been looking for isn't between them, it's between you, the spouses.

So, you think the sh**t's upset because of one of these malpractice suits?

Maybe. Maybe he's taking it out on their loved ones.

Can you give us a list of all the cases that Edgar litigated for you?

Chloe: When are you gonna tell me what's going on with you?

Do you want to talk about it?

Lucifer: Why would I want to do that?

'Cause that's what partners do.

They talk.

I can tell you about my headaches living with Maze and you can tell me what's going on with you.

Pass.

Lucifer, seriously, whatever you're going through...

I don't know, maybe I can help.

(snorts) How?

By giving me a warm, fuzzy hug?

DAN: They won't release the damn case files. Some crap about new HIPAA laws requiring extra warrants. It could be days before we get a judge to sign off on that.

LUCIFER: Oh, well, it looks like Detective Douche is the one who needs a hug. Mm, come here, Daniel. Mm.

DAN: Get off me, man.

Uh, Daniel, if you want to talk about your feelings, Detective Decker is offering.

Why don't give you two a minute so you can talk about your earth-shattering problems.

DAN: What was that?

CHLOE: I told you something's going on with him.

I'm getting worried.

DAN: Yeah, well, honestly, Chloe, we have bigger things to worry about right now.

I know. I'll see if I can expedite the warrants, and, uh, call the lieutenant.

Right. Here you go.

Merry Christmas. Or should I say, Happy Halloween.

Are these the files?

Where did you get these?

LUCIFER: Well, if you ask permission, people can say no, but flash a badge to the right sap and voilà.

DAN: This is mine.

LUCIFER: All right, chill out, Daniel. What's a little badge borrowing between friends? I mean, at least I didn't have to use this.

DAN: You stole my g*n and my badge? What the hell is the matter with you?!

Hey, guys...

DAN: Are you gonna take his side in this right now? Is that what you're doing?

LUCIFER: Well, I got the files, didn't I? I did what I had to do.

DAN: Oh, please, don't give me that crap. You never do what you have to do, Lucifer. You only ever do what you want to.

LUCIFER: That is not true. There's a lot of things that I didn't want to do.

DAN: Oh, really?

Yes.

LUCIFER: Because if I only ever did what I wanted to do, then right now, I'd do this.

(Daniel groaning)

What the hell is wrong with you?!

LUCIFER: Why are you so surprised, Detective?! I'm the Devil, remember? I'm evil!

No, what you are is off this case. You go home now. You're done.

Go!

Chloe: Are you okay?

Not really.

All right, well... let's get you checked out and return the files.

What if we hold off for a bit?

I don't agree with what Lucifer did.

But there's still a k*ller out there.

And these files might be the key to stopping him.

Are you suggesting we keep them?

More like borrow.

Amenadiel: Where are we going, Mom?

GODDESS: You'll see soon enough. But first, we need to get something straight. Uriel's death was not your fault.

How can you say that, Mom?

GODDESS: Do you remember when you boys were young? Uriel always playing pranks on Lucifer to get your Father's attention? Annoying little runt. And he never got in trouble for it because you took the blame.

Just looking out for my little brother, Mom.

GODDESS: No, it's more than that. You have welcomed responsibility your entire life. Don't you think you deserve a break?

AMENADIEL: Mom, you just don't understand.

GODDESS: Don't you think I feel responsible, too? All of this fighting has been over me. Uriel is gone forever because of me, not you.

How can you say that, Mom? You did everything that you could do. You volunteered to go back to Hell. You stepped up and did the right thing.

GODDESS: Isn't that all you've been doing? Trying to please your Father by doing what you think is right? You shouldn't be punished. You should be rewarded.

♪ Oh, Father, tell me... ♪

AMENADIEL: You really think so?

♪ We get what we... ♪

GODDESS: If your Father was down here...

♪ Oh, we get... ♪

...he would see that.

♪ We deserve ♪
♪ And way down ♪
♪ We go-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Oh, way down ♪
♪ We go-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Say way down ♪
♪ We go ♪
♪ Go-o-o-o-o ♪
♪ Way down we go... ♪

GODDESS: This is where Lucifer buried your brother.

♪ Whoa, you let your feet run wild ♪
♪ Time has come ♪
♪ As we all, oh, go down ♪
♪ Yeah, but for the fall, ooh, my ♪
♪ Do you dare to look him right in the eyes? ♪
♪ Yeah... ♪

Uriel?

♪ 'Cause they will run you down ♪
♪ Down till the dark... ♪

(shouts)

I am... so sorry.

Woman: Oh, no.

No worries.

It's not your fault.

♪ And they will run you down, down till you go ♪
♪ Yeah, so you can't crawl no more ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Say way down... ♪

Okay, so, these are all the cases that involve both Dr. Loomis and our zombie groom Edgar.

Six settled, three pending and that last one there was recently dismissed.

Wrongful death suit thrown out for lack of evidence.

That's frustrating.

Could be motive.

Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe our plaintiff was pissed about the dismissal, decided to settle his grievances another way.

Let's see... plaintiff, Wes Williams.

He sued for his wife Cassandra's death after she lost a battle with...

Oh man, I can't even pronounce this...

Lymphangioleiomyomatosis?

Yeah. Lung disease.

Yeah, well, it looks like Wes blamed Cassandra's physician, our Dr. Sidney Loomis, and the hospital's lawyer, Edgar Romero, got the case thrown out.

It's no one's fault for a disease like that.

Yeah, well, apparently, Wes didn't feel that way.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I just...

I kind of feel bad for the guy's situation, you know?

I mean, I-I don't know what I would do if my wife...

Yeah, right.

Well, what you wouldn't do is start revenge k*lling a bunch of innocent people.

Good point.

Okay, let's see if our Wes Williams is in the system.

(computer beeps)

No criminal record.

But he fits the description.

Look at that.

He's an A*F agent.

Nicknamed "The Ghost."

He served multiple assignments in Mexico trying to take down the cartels.

Specializes in... long-range marksmanship.

Let's go.

Officer: Go! Other side.

Hallway clear.

Clear!

Officer: Clear! Clear.

He's making counterfeit badges for Strode Pharmaceuticals.

(cackling)

(doorbell rings)

♪ Well, once a year, there's a hellish night... ♪

Trick or treat!

Oh, and what are you, young lady?

Maze: She's the president of Mars.

Duh.

Yeah... duh.

President of Mars!

All right.

♪ Spirits rising from the ground... ♪
♪ Out comes that spooky sound ♪
♪ It's a haunted rave ♪
It's a haunted rave...

(man chuckles)

Straight from the grave ♪

♪ And the dead will dance ♪
And the dead will
Dance
♪ You'd better run while you've got the chance. ♪

Isn't this fun?

I expected worse.

(sighs)

I wish you wore a costume.

Well, I, uh...

I did bring something.

Do you want to see it?

Yeah.

Turn around.

(whooshing and low rumble)

I'm ready.

Cool!

(exhales nervously)

We're gonna get so much candy.

(chuckles)

(indistinct conversation)

(piano key plays slowly)

(playing Metallica's "Unforgiven")

Why?

Why did you bring me here?

You have been so focused on blame... you haven't let yourself grieve.

This isn't right.

None of it.

Why did he do this?

Lucifer was just trying...

No, Mom.

Not Lucifer, Father.

How did He let this happen?

Son, it's okay.

Just let it out.

Let it all... out.

(continues playing "The Unforgiven")

Amenadiel: I blame Father for this.

You're right, Mom, where is he?


If he wanted to, he could've prevented all of this from happening.

All the misunderstandings, all the pain.

Well, I'm done.

I'm done trying to please someone who isn't ever here.

♪ ♪

(discordant notes)

(panting)

Out.

All of you out! Go on!

Go!

♪ ♪

Chloe: Anything connecting our sh**t to Strode Pharmaceuticals?

Dan: Yeah. Right here.

Wes Williams' took part in one of their clinical drug trials.

A "promising new treatment" for her lung disease.

Not promising enough to save her.

No. Turns out she was in the placebo group.

Is that why he's pissed off? Who put her there?

No one, really. It was a double-blind, so just like the doctor and the lawyer, no one's at fault here.

So who does our sh**t think is at fault?

Who ran the trials?

Dr. Jack Peterson.

And since Williams is targeting spouses, if we find Mrs. Peterson, assuming...

No, wait... crap.

What?

It also says that the trial was run by a Dr. Sally Peterson.

They're a husband and wife team.

Great. Who's the target?

Well, it could be either one. We got to get to both of them.

Yeah, before he does.

Dr. Peterson?

LAPD.

Your wife, Sally.

Where is she?

What's going on?

I'll explain later. Where's your wife?

Probably getting a coffee from the coffee cart in the lobby.

Okay, you stay with him. I'll find her.

You be careful.

Right.

You stay put.

Here you go.

Thank you.

I know you're out there, Mr. sn*per!

(g*nsh*t)

Oh, come on!

Lucifer: You can do better than that!

(exhales)

sh**t me!

Well, go on, then!

What are you waiting for?

Just sh**t me right now. Please!

Lucifer, what are you doing?

Uh-oh!

Police are here!

Gonna have to hurry up, Mr. sh**t, sir.

(screaming)

Seriously? I mean, I'm standing right here.

Right. You're just embarrassing yourself, now.

I mean, could you be any worse of a sh*t?

(g*nsh*t)

Lucifer: Oh, come on.

Che... It's like he's not even trying.

Not her, you idiot... me!

sh**t me!

Drop your w*apon now.

(distant sirens wailing)

You.

Why didn't you sh**t me?

sh**t you?

I was standing right here, fair game. Why didn't you do it?

Because you didn't deserve it.

How do you know what I deserve?

I was trying to scare you away from her.

I only wanted the people who k*lled Cassandra to suffer like...

What...?

Like I'm suffering.

You idiot!

Lucifer.

The doctor, the lawyer, that woman... They didn't k*ll your wife!

They aren't responsible!

But you know that.

You hold someone else accountable, don't you?

If I hadn't been on mission so long...

Been home when Cassandra needed me... we could've detected it sooner.

She would still be alive.

Yes.

So it's not vengeance you want.

It's punishment.

Well, now you've got it.

Good for you.

I got this.

Hey.

How did you find us?

Just called the station chief.

Got all the details.

What you just did was extremely reckless and stupid.

But you saved that woman's life.

I couldn't care less about that woman's life.

So, what, you were just trying to get yourself k*lled?

LUCIFER: No.

I don't buy it. Every time you say that you don't care, or that you're evil, or you're the Devil, I know that's not who you really are.

LUCIFER: You don't know a thing about who I am, Detective. Or what I've done.

You weren't just talking about Wes back there, were you?

You want to be punished for something.

That's why you've been acting out recently.

Just talk to me, Lucifer, please.

Just tell me what's going on.

I'm here for you, okay? I...

I just want to understand.

LUCIFER: You can't understand, Detective. And you never will.

Well, if you won't talk to me, then... please, talk to someone else.

You have a therapist.

Talk to her, before it eats you alive.

♪ ♪

(strange noises on TV)

(gasps)

Man: Now...

(cackles)

(creature squeaking)

(woman screams)

♪ ♪

LINDA: I'm glad you changed your mind. Are you ready to talk about your brother?

LUCIFER: His name is... was Uriel. And ever since he d*ed, I've been having this... strange feeling. Something I've never felt before. Guilt.

LINDA: Why do you feel guilty?

LUCIFER: Uriel didn't just die. I k*lled him. I've never... k*lled anyone before. Only punished those already dead. You know, back when I used to run Hell. But... (drinks) A stubborn Uriel... he-he gave me no choice. He came down from the Silver City to collect on the deal that I made with Dad.
Intent on k*lling the detective or smiting Mum out of existence.

LINDA: Lucifer...

LUCIFER: He brought Azrael's blade with him, which is a... a divine dagger that destroys your soul, it doesn't just k*ll you. It... wipes you out...

LINDA: Lucifer, enough. (exhales) I can't do this anymore. I can't keep track of all these elaborate metaphors.

LUCIFER: But it's not a metaphor, Doctor. You need to take me seriously. You need to believe what I'm saying. Otherwise, you'll never understand... I'm a monster. A monster who... deserves to be punished.

LINDA: I believe you feel that way. (sighs) And I want to understand. I truly do! But, Lucifer, you have to help me. I need you to be honest with me. Completely honest... ...about who you are.

LUCIFER: Completely honest? Are you sure?

LINDA: Yes. Yes, I'm sure. That's what all of these sessions... Our entire relationship... Is all about. Getting to know the real Lucifer. (exhales) No more lies. No more metaphors.

LUCIFER: Very well.

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

LUCIFER: (quietly): Yes... Doctor? Uh...

(gasps)
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