01x07 - Puff Piece

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [acoustic guitar]

♪ Yellow is the color of my true love's hair ♪
♪ In the morning, when we rise ♪
♪ In the morning, when we rise ♪

Hi.

Hi.

You wanna hear something f*cking beautiful?

Okay.

Graffiti is a twilight means of communication between the anonymous man and the world.

Wow.

Yeah.

Who wrote that?

A guy named Robert Reisner.

Good night.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

I'm really glad you opened the door Saturday night.

I feel like we've been on a vacation.

♪ Time I love the best ♪
♪ Mellow is the feeling that I get ♪
♪ When I see her, mm-hmm ♪
♪ When I see her ♪

Oh.

[exhales]

That'll get my day going.

Me too, honey.

You're different.

What?

No.

I'm just the same old Cindy.

[urinating]

Hey, whip up some of those butter and pastrami sandwiches for poker tonight, will you?

Yep.

Good morning, Daddy.

Good morning, sweetheart.

Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up a birthday card for a friend.

Oh, may I?

Later.

So what did you want to talk to me about?

Are you getting eight hours?

We just closed an issue.

Sam and I have had a few late sessions, but I'll make up for them.

Now that you and Chad are broken up, what do you think about a job somewhere else?

I've got a lead on a great position at a white shoe law firm.

With more suitable men.

"News of the Week" has changed, Janie.

They're putting black murderers on the cover, for Christ's sake.

It's not what we signed up for.

That was one cover.

Mudge Rose Guthrie will put your talents to good use.

They've got a rigorous research department.

Mudge Rose?

You already set this up?

I bumped into Randolph Guthrie.

We had a conversation.

Daddy...

All I ask is that you meet us for dinner tonight.

It's just a meal, nothing formal.

If you don't like what Randolph has to say, that's the end of it.

Okay.

He'll love you.

How could he not?

It's foxy.

I'm just not sure it's allowed.

Of course it is.

Charlotte Reid wore pants on the floor of the Senate in December.

Don't you think it's professional?

Absolutely.

Good. 'Cause I am 25 today, and I am going to start taking myself more seriously.

Hmm.

That thing at the Chelsea was kind of a wake-up call.

For all of us.

Hey, do you think that you can pick up some beer before you come over tonight?

I'm not sure if I got enough.

You really wanna have a dinner party for your 25th birthday?

Yes. It feels grown-up. Nora's making a duck mousse.

I can think of a few other grown-up ways to celebrate.

After.

[chuckles]

Oh, there it is again.

Novo 22. The guy's prolific.

The cop I talked to said these guys are hard to catch.

They do it after school when the tunnels are jammed or late at night.

Maybe your article will help to put 'em behind bars.

I hope not. I'm rooting for him.

I may have defaced a building or two in my time.

What?

Yeah, a black coffee and a bear claw.

Thanks.

Thank you. Hey, I gotta go.

Where are the girls taking you for breakfast?

I don't know. Some hole in the wall that Cindy found.

It's your birthday. Enjoy it.

A warm welcome to the new faces this morning.

Denise, Laura, June?

I know everyone's very grateful you're here.

Nice pantsuit.

Oh, happy birthday.

Thanks.

That makes 13. Not bad.

How are we doing on the men's salaries?

How'd you get past Angie?

When did you get those?

I snuck into Finn's office on Saturday night after I saw you.

She's a regular Mata Hari.

[all chuckle]

These numbers are going to make you feel things.

But you go right ahead and feel them, okay?

It's a part of it.

"Benjamin Collingsworth, hired in 1967, $20.000 a year. Gabriel Greenstone, 1969, 17.000. Douglas Rhodes, 1968, 21.000. Samuel Rosenberg, 1968, $20.000 a year."

Imagine what we could do with all that money?

I wouldn't have to live with my mother.

I knew Doug made more, but $21.000 is three times what I make.

And we work just as many hours.

Yeah.

More!

Injustice hurts, doesn't it? It should.

It's your evidence that something is wrong.

Don't ignore it. We are too close to be seduced by a raise or a juicy story or some fun in the sack.

[chuckles]

I mean it, ladies.

You cannot be sleeping with the enemy.

No reporters. No editors.

What does that have to do with anything?

It can be used to discredit you in a court of law.

But what if they're our boyfriends?

Well, once we file this complaint, every job that's given to one of you is one that's taken from one of them.

They're going to hate us.

They probably will.

But we are putting the world on notice.

Women will not tolerate being second-class citizens anymore.

Not at "News of the Week" or the post office or the bank.

There will be blood spilled, women.

This is w*r.

Cindy.

Yeah.

Do you know what happened to Mata Hari?

Um, she was sh*t.

They found her out.

Look, stealing the salaries may have been necessary, but it was dangerous.

Yeah.

And we're too close to start feeling powerful.

That's what causes us to make mistakes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

[sighs]

Good morning.

Good morning.

Where is everyone?

Think the two of us can put out the magazine this week.

I'll start sharpening my pencils.

[women chattering]

It's 10:00 It's Monday.

Start time's 9:30.

Okay, I'm sorry. A few of us met up with Patti for her birthday.

Well, it was just coffee and donuts, but I am having a dinner party tonight, and I would love it if you could be there.

Thank you, but I have a prior engagement.

[footsteps approaching]

Are you finished with that?

Oh, yeah. I was just copying this for Ned.

Lucky you.

[chuckles]

[laughter]

He's in the alley.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. I just needed to...

[stammering]

Thank you.

Hello.

Hey.

What are you doing out here?

This is where I do my thinking.

Oh.

And occasionally catch criminals.

Oh.

Well, as a criminal myself, I can see how this would be a good place to hide evidence.

It sounds like an admission.

Maybe it is.

I'm gonna have to ask you to turn around.

Hands up.

[hands slam]

Can I search you?

Excuse me, miss. What are these?

"Too controversial."

Who the hell do they think they are, dictating the stories I run?

Cheer up. You used to love making the money guys squirm.

And back in the day, that was the point.

That was eons ago.

Now I spend half my day blowing advertisers.

This is not what I thought I'd be doing with my life.

When was the last time you had any fun?

Fun? Years. Decades. I don't know.

One of Jann's investors is having a little shindig out at Long Island tonight.

We should go. Drive out there, make a day of it, you know?

It'll be like old times.

I've got a magazine to run.

Not if you don't start schmoozing the money guys.

Look, Doug's working on graffiti, Sam's doing the vet piece.

It's gonna be a solid issue.

There's to do but look over their shoulders and be a pain in the ass.

Angie: Listen to him, Finn!

Excuse me?

Thank you, Angie.

If there were ever a day to play hooky, this is it.

I don't schmooze.

You won't have to do anything but stand next to me and be pretty.

From now on, I'll handle all these assholes, how's that?

Ana all I have to do is go to a party?

I will hold down the fort.

You were a great g*dd*mn hire, you know that?

You, too.

Nixon's planning to cut Veteran's services.

I can't believe you read the "Journal" before I do.

Breakfast with Daddy. He's my researcher.

Maybe it makes sense, cutting services.

It says here none of the hospitals are at capacity.

There just isn't as much need as people think.

I'm seeing Noah tonight, I'll get his take.

And maybe we'll go to Patti's after, if he's up to it.

You going?

I have a family dinner.

Patti?

I just did it with Ned.

Again.

I know what Eleanor said, but I...

I don't know how to stop.

And that is, um... [clears throat] is two different men that I have had sex with today, if you were counting.

But I did shower in between.

So...

Can I ask you something?

Do you have to... with Lenny?

He's my husband.

Have you ever thought about leaving him?

I wouldn't know how.

Well, Doug and I got back together.

Together together?

It felt like it.

That is wonderful, Patti.

Is it?

Eleanor.

[door opens]

Oh, right, stop talking as soon I appear, very decent of you.

Oh, no, no. We... We were...

We were just leaving. I can't.

Is everything okay?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, why don't you come by tonight after your thing?

You should. It'll be fun.

According to Rapid Transit, the Sharpie has been the vandals' preferred tool since it was invented in '64.

Well, spray paint has got to be catching up.

Between the two of them, they cost the city $500.000 to clean up last year.

I don't know why they do it.

Why risk getting caught and...

And messing everything up for yourself?

Just so the world can see your name on a wall?

Why did you do it?

I don't know.

Maybe just to tick off my old man.

I painted "Bad Dog" on our garage one night.

Why bad dog?

That's what I called myself. Bad Dog.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Well, maybe your meeting at the Transit Authority can lead you to Novo 22?

And then you two can compare notes.

So I'll see you tonight, Bad Dog?

[both growl]

[phone ringing]

Douglas Rhodes.

No kidding. Thank you.

Yeah! I'd be happy to.

Tonight?

A Corvette Stingray. And Chevrolet went for this?

Well, I take offense at the implication. It's an honest test drive.

Head down. I'll meet you out front.

You're the first woman to wear pants in this office.

It's your birthday, I'll let it slide.

How did you know it's my birthday?

Angie knows everything.

Oh.

What's it like being 25?

I feel old for the first time.

Here's some perspective.

By your age, Michelangelo sculpted the "Pieta."

Orson Welles made "Citizen Kane."

Keats was dead.

I've made coffee this morning.

A whole pot.

All by yourself?

All by myself.

Very good.

Look, I spent my 25th drawing up that list, so I know.

About the same time that I realized there was a clock ticking on my life.

I first noticed mine my senior year at Vassar when every girl I knew was getting engaged.

Every girl but Patti Robinson.

Right.

Sometimes I think there might be something wrong with me.

It's possible.

It would be so much easier.

It would be.

But easy doesn't get you the "Pieta."

We're talking pantsuits tomorrow.

Okay.

All right. Where is she?

Ahh!

Oh.

[laughing]

What'd I tell you?

Holy crap, she's a cherry.

Think she's sexy enough to make the public forget about Ralph Nader?

He said they cut corners on safety in the Corvair.

If that's true, Chevy got what they deserved.

Wait. No.

Yes.

You know, Lydia starts driving three years from now.

I'm never gonna sleep again.

Nothing like a little bad press to make a company do the right thing.

Okay.

[groans]

All right, gentlemen, start your engines.

[imitates engine]

[laughs]

I didn't know mylittle mouse could be so ravishing.

I thought it was just dinner at some girl's apartment.

Yes, Patti's. It's her 25th birthday, so a bunch of people from work will be there.

So you're wearing a dirty little get-up?

It's just a dress, Lenny.

Take it off.

No.

Now, where's my sports coat?

You don't need a sports coat... for poker.

If I never see a Gabe Greenstone again, it'll be too soon.

Leaving that magazine was the best move I ever made.

Yesterday I covered a homicide on the Upper West Side.

You don't need experience for that?

My last article was about a pair of seals refusing to mate.

The "Post" trusts me on relationships gone sour.

How's "News of the Week"?

Doug and I just had our second cover in a month.

Good for Doug.

What's the latest with the EEOC thing?

Well, as of today, we're no longer allowed to sleep with reporters for credibility reasons.

And, Doug and I just got back together.

Kind of.

Have you told him?

Mm-mmm.

I just can't believe that losing Doug is what it's gonna take for me to become a writer.

I didn't break up with Doug, and I'm a writer.

Writing makes you a writer.

This complaint's important, but what happens when "News of the Week" actually starts hiring women?

I get to write.

Or they'll hire two or three to fill their quota.

That is so cynical.

Hopefully.

But if I were you, I'd knock out a great sample so they know you can write.

Besides, if it's good, I'll give it to my editor at the "Post."

Really?

Mm-hmm.

We need to make sure nobody steals your opportunity out from under you.

Ohh!

[chuckles]

Woo-hoo!

What I tell ya, huh?

Man, you weren't kidding.

How's Talia, huh?

When's the last time we were all together? Was that Cape Cod?

[both urinating]

Christ, can that have been two years ago?

Remember Bonnie and Talia's clam bake?

They damn near torched the town.

Yes, they did. But dinner was cooked perfectly.

That was a really fun summer.

Yes, it was.

Yes, it was.

Hey! You you coming?

Yeah.

Wherever the road may lead.

Hiya, gorgeous.

Hi.

What are you doing down here?

Just waiting on a buddy.

We're going to see a new band at the Fillmore later.

The Allman Brothers.

Ever hear of them?

Mm-hmm.

Southern bluesy rock. You'd like them.

How do you know that?

I'm guessing.

You have good taste.

I knocked on your door last night.

I've been avoiding you.

Whoa, honesty.

I like that.

Damn, I guess that means that, uh...

New Year's wasn't as good for you as it was for me.

Max, I want to thank you so much for being such a gentleman that night.

Well, you certainly are welcome, Jane.

If you could just write me a nice thank you note on fancy stationery, I would be much obliged.

Okay, you!

How are you doing?

I feel like I'm in a strange land.

I was saving myself for marriage.

But you changed your mind.

I did.

Well, I was honored.

And, you know, things don't have to be funky.

You don't have to avoid me.

Okay.

Good.

And I think the next time that I, um, you know...

Mm-hmm.

I think I want to be in love.

Yeah, it's nice that way, too.

[knocking on door]

Sure you don't want to check out the Allman Brothers?

Oh, not for me.

Uh, Jane.

Uh-huh?

You're a cool woman.

Thank you.

There once was a woman named Jill.

Who tried a Dynamite stick for a thrill.

They found her vag*na in South Carolina.

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

Oh, girls like that are what keeps guys like us young.

I'm sure Bonnie'd be thrilled to hear you say that.

I'm away for the night. So are you.

Thank you.

Groupies aren't my style.

That's right. That's right.

You go in for the brainy redheads in pantsuits.

I don't go in for anyone.

I'm married.

And Patti Robinson, she's a child.

Can't believe his gall, showing up here.

It's my apartment.

I'm gonna go give him a piece of my mind.

Nora, don't. Let it go.

They're never going to ban smoking on airplanes. That's ridiculous.

Maybe so, but the FAA is considering it.

The stewardesses say they're having lung problems.

They're sh**ting it into their veins...

200 of them d*ed in the city last year alone.

Happy birthday. You look amazing.

I hope you can smoke...

I'll do that one.

Charlie, you're out of your mind.

Five dollars says "Newsday's" work on Long Island wins.

It's local.

Guys went to jail.

That's how you win a Pulitzer for public service.

Nobody's b*ating Carl Rowan.

Five dollars.

You're both wrong.

Seymour Hersh is a ringer for My Lai.

Sorry. I know how you like to be right.

What're you even doing here?

I catered this event.

Here, try some duck mousse.

[knocking on door]

Cindy! Lenny!

Jane!

You made it.

Lenny insisted on coming.

Ned's here.

Oh.

What happened to your prior engagement?

Oh, um, I'm standing him up.

Like on a street corner?

No, no, I called and left a message at the restaurant.

Jane, come in.

Do you want a greyhound?

Why don't you put our coats down and I'll make it?

Yeah, okay. Not too much grapefruit.

Oh, the coat check is in the bedroom.

Lenny was supposed to be at to poker tonight, I'm so sorry.

Hey, he's your husband. He can change his mind.

I know, but...

Today we caught criminals.

Tonight we're friends.

That wins!

[cheering]

[chuckling, chattering]

Well, you know, my sister doesn't even shave.

All of her friends at Barnard, they just stopped shaving.

What?

Yeah. Everything.

I thought you weren't coming.

Oh, I changed my mind.

So come toke with us.

I'd love to.

Have you done this before?

Oh. Yeah.

Holly Hobby's smoking out.

They should make a doll for that.

Holly Hobby Smoke-Out.

I'd buy that.

Oh, she's really stoned.

Oh. [chuckles]

Oh, no!

[laughing]

I'm okay.

[laughing]

Here, have some more of this.

I feel better now.

I don't know what to say.

As I see it, you're sitting in a front row seat to the revolution.

Why not capitalize on it?

That sounds incredible.

Holy sh*t.

[both laugh]

Both: Boola boola!

Come on!

I can do it!

Four, three, two, one!

Mouse wins!

[cheering]

I'm running the games?

Of course you are.

Okay, who's next?

Cindy?

Want to try life as Miss Linnaeus, Species Rodentia?

It is your thing, honey.

I just wrote an article in the "Post" about city mice.

Ask me anything.

Was it assigned to someone else?

[knocking on door]

I'll do it.

Okay. Well, come in.

Come on.

Lenny will be the cat.

He seems to really enjoy putting mice in their place.

I'm gonna sit this one out.

How about you? Noah, is it?

Yeah.

I can do that.

Just so you know, I ran track in high school, and I can b*at any cat.

[cheering, applause]

♪♪

Pretty fascinating, actually.

Getting in a room with one of these geniuses And you sit down, and you're looking across from them.

Most of the time, all the questions go right out of my head.

But in this particular instance, we'd been getting along, There'd been some alcohol involved, of course.

He stops the interview, right in the middle, picks up his trumpet, and he improvises a song right there on the spot.

Jimmy Page plays the trumpet?

Excuse me. I gotta...

Do the words "Miles Davis" sound anything like "Jimmy Page" to you?

Yeah.

Kind of.

Right.

I'm gonna get some air, and I'm taking this with me.

You're a g*dd*mn saint. That's what makes you a terrible wingman!

I think I have an idea, for my article.

Dinner parties... the history, the trends.

You can have them even in small spaces.

You're better than that.

[door closes]

Oh! [chuckles]

Take all your clothes off.

[laughing]

Hi.

Come here.

Oh.

You came! Hi!

What?

I'm sorry I'm late.

It's fine. It's not like you're my boyfriend.

Where were you?

How would you feel if your not-boyfriend became an author?

What?

It's not a done deal, but I just had drinks at the Yale Club with a literary agent.

Do you know that they make women use the servants' entrance at that place?

Don't get hung up on that.

The agent said he thinks there's a book in the Panther movement and he thinks I'm the guy to write it.

Or as he put it, I have a front row seat to a revolution.

What do you think?

Wow. Congratulations.

I'm really grateful for everything you did on that story.

It wouldn't be in print if it weren't for you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And if this book does happen, I want you to be my researcher.

No, it's gonna be so great.

Yeah, it's gonna happen. Oh, it is.

I'm telling you, Betty Friedan is planning the march for August 26th.

We're gonna take over 5th Avenue.

So disruptive.

I think that's the point.

How many women are gonna do it?

Thousands, I don't know maybe millions. Men, too.

I'll make sure to call in sick.

You should call in sick.

You should go.

Man: Yeah, maybe I will.

♪♪ ["Good Lovin'" by Young Rascals]

All right!

Hey there, Mouseketeer, time to dance!

♪♪ [continues]

♪ I was feeling so bad ♪
♪ I asked my family doctor just what I had ♪
♪ I said doctor ♪
♪ Doctor ♪
♪ Mister M.D. ♪
♪ Doctor ♪
♪ Can you tell me what's ailing me ♪
♪ Doctor ♪
♪ And he said ♪

I love this song.

Me too!

Oh, I'm sorry!

♪ All I really need ♪
♪ Good lovin' ♪
♪ Come on, give me good lovin' ♪
♪ Good lovin' ♪
♪♪ [continues]

A good song doesn't make up for $12.000.

♪♪ [continues]

Oh, sweet girl, you are going to hate yourself tomorrow.

I'll feel exactly the same as I do right now.

Cindy said you're a Marine?

First Division. Two tours.

I'm sorry you had to go through it, man.

What a g*dd*mn boondoggle.

We went there to help.

It got messy, but we wanted to help.

Of course you did.

Nobody's questioning that.

Actually, Lenny was.

Cindy.

My position on the w*r has nothing to do with the soldiers.

You're heroes fighting for your country. I respect that.

Yeah, he just thinks that you were sold a bill of goods.

He is very anti-w*r.

Stop telling people what I think.

You not even supposed to be here.

So I'm not allowed to speak?

You saying we're dupes?

No.

Good heavens.

Cindy misinterpreted what I said.

My point was... no one's gonna risk their lives to defend "economic interests."

So we tell them they're saving humanity from communism.

So you think if we lost Southeast Asia to Stalinism, it wouldn't cause humanitarian problems?

It'd be a disaster.

But propping up a dictatorship in South Vietnam is not the answer.

So we win the Cold w*r by not fighting?

We have no reason being there if we don't have a solution.

It's immoral.

[laughs]

Hey. Hey, let's take a walk.

I'm sorry, but it's funny.

It's funny, Lenny telling us what's immoral?

He's the least moral person I know.

Get our coats. I've had enough.

No.

Whatever this is?

It's between you and Lenny...

You know what this is, Nora.

You know what this is.

Lenny told me that I had a year...

A year at "News of the Week" before I had to start a family.

And then a few months in, I find a hole in my diaphragm.

Does that sound very moral to you guys?

He put a hole in my diaphragm!

You're my wife.

I am.

And I f*cked someone else.

Ow!

Hey!

Let him go!

Noah! Noah!

[women screaming]

Lenny, are you okay?

[women screaming]

Cindy!

You belong here... with the drunks and the bums.

Hey, honey.

Hey.

Are you all right?

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Okay.

You're gonna sleep over at my house tonight.

I got her.

Why don't you come stay with me tonight.

I'm gonna go home with Ned.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Goodnight, everybody.

Hey, let's get out of here.

Let's go grab a beer. Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow?

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

[surf crashing]

Those girls, man.

Those girls, they needed us, When did you become such an old fuddy-duddy?

I've always been a fuddy-duddy.

That is not true.

In college, you used to be the craziest bastard I knew.

It was Maine, man.

Turned you into a square.

Almost dying has a way of doing that.

Still don't know what I was thinking, jumping off that cliff.

If you hadn't have been there...

It's the strangest sensation, realizing you shouldn't be here.

Man, none of us should be here.

It's all a f*cking crapshoot.

Maybe.

Maybe?

You know, maybe 15 years ago, you would have stripped off that beautiful 50-dollar tie you're wearing, and you would have dived right into that drink.

But now, because you hit your head on a rock somewhere in Maine...

Now you just want to stand around and think about doing things instead?

Are you challenging me to something?

I would never expect you to risk that tie.

That water is freezing.

That water could k*ll you.

[chuckles]

That is the point, my friend.

But it is better just to stand here thinking about it, right?

The same way that you are undoubtedly thinking about making love to that sweet little redhead.

You're an assh*le, you know that?

[laughing]

g*dd*mn assh*le.

I'm gonna go in to shut you up.

I'm gonna go in the water. I'm just going for a swim.

We are doing this.

♪♪

Don't you dare go anywhere without me.

All right.

[both screaming]

What a mess.

Is Cindy okay?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Listen, I'm gonna hit the BQE in Brooklyn.

Rumor has it Novo 22 hangs out there.

Should I come back after?

Did I do something, Patti?

I like you so much, Doug.

No, that's not the right word.

I sort of love you.

A few months ago, you said that without qualifying it.

I know.

Fair enough.

Well, "sort of" love seems like a good thing, right?

It would be if...

If what, Patti?

If I didn't want what you have.

God, Doug, when you told me about the Black Panther book, I did the research for that.

I wrote some of the copy, and I sold Finn on the angle.

And I thanked you for that.

Yeah, but nobody else knows that.

So you want credit?

Doug, I wanna be a reporter.

I wanna be a reporter.

That's what I want.

Even if it means I have to go somewhere else to do it.

And I know that now.

And you think I'm gonna get in your way?

If you wanna be a reporter...

Hey.

I wanna help you.

I don't want to be the enemy. I'm... I...

I want you to have everything you could possibly want.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Doug!

[gasps] It's green.

It's green.

[laughs]

Thank you, Doug.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Our graffiti story might have a surprise ending.

Our transit contact swears Novo 22's a girl.

Our anonymous man is a woman?

I just consider it non-responsive.

Finn didn't ask you to cover the reaction to the earthquake, he asked you to cover the earthquake.

And you could've done it better?

You know I could've.

Yes, please.

Don't be so prickly.

I'm prickly?

I think you have a hard time accepting criticism, yeah.

You're unbelievable.

You're inflexible.

That's a dangerous thing as a journalist.

What is this?

[sighs]

Gabe asked what it would take for me to make him pancakes.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

What about a little story on the EEOC filing?

It would be a first-person account from someone with a front row seat to the revolution.

It could be a window into a wider spread on Women's Lib...

Don't call it that.

That's not such a little idea.

Really?

I think you just struck gold.

[wind blowing]

[spray cans clattering]

Hey!

Hey!

Come on!

I had so much fun tonight.

I'm so glad you stood up your date.

[laughs]

Oh, my dad is gonna be livid.

You stood up your dad?

[chuckles]

It was a job interview.

[chuckles] Since I'm not marrying Chad, Daddy thinks I need to work somewhere with more appropriate men.

What do you think?

I love my job.

Jane?

Are you becoming a career girl?

Maybe I always was.

Hey, everybody!

Jane Hollander is a career girl!

Patti!

Jane!

I'm a career girl!

Whoo!

"New of the Week" is the best magazine!

I love my job!

It's my birthday.

And I'm not having a white wedding!

Whoa! What?

I lost my virginity to my neighbor.

I had sex with my dad's best friend when I was in college.

I lost my mother's bracelet, and I blamed it on my grandmother.

Oh, I've wanted to tell you about something for the longest time.

Some of the other girls and I are filing an Equal Employment claim.

It's illegal for them not to let us write.

And we want the policy changed.

What?

You're suing "News of the Week"?

No. No, not suing. We are complaining.

Officially.

And I'm gonna write an article about it.

Is this why you've been so secretive at the office?

You and Cindy and all the other girls?

Yeah.

Oh.

Come on, be a part of it with us.

You deserve it.

I know I've had a really lovely time tonight, but...

I am way too high to think about whatever it is you're saying.

Hey!

Next time you write about the Panthers, remember whose f*cking side you're on!

[coughing]