01x02 - Stuck in the Middle with You

[bunniefuu]

If I can find her, I'd like to make reparations, you know?

Why wasn't I told about this sooner?

We didn't think you were ready.

I decide when I'm ready, not you.

No, she's lying. She can't be Jack's daughter.

Why not, Mum? Because she's black?

Of course not! That has nothing to do with this!

Guys, she is right outside.

Harriet, you shouldn't even be here.

This is a conversation for adults, darling.

I'm staying!

Chris: Jamie, did you mention the 25 grand?

Yeah, you told me to.

She is taking us for a ride.

No. She is not!

A four-hour car trip and you know her that well?

She's not like that.

She is using us!

Hey!

Susan: What did Jack mean by 'reparations'?

Hey.

I got you the guest suite.

Chris: Just sit down.

Susan: Chris, I am not sitting down.

It's just shock, you know? Everything.

Yeah, that's me.

(SMASHING)

Harriet: Mum!

I'll just be...

What the hell is going on?

(MESSAGE TONE)

So how do we know she is telling the truth?

This was in Dad's bag.

He wrote her this.

Both of which she could have planted.

That is Dad's writing. Look at it, Chris.

Listen, no matter what we think, Susan is right.

We have to be certain it's her.

We find out if she is legitimate.

Dad.

Dad! Dad!

Dad.

Dad, I want to get out of here.

Hey, can you help me?

Of course.

Thanks.

Do you know the Salt Club?

Sure do.

Yes, lovely, lovely.

Dad, where did you go? Call me as soon as you get this.

(MESSAGE TONE)

Brian? Connie.

Sorry I'm late. Traffic was a nightmare.

You said you were 39!

Did I?

Yeah!

On your profile page you said... You rhymed.

You said, "I'm 39 and I make wine."

I loved that. (LAUGHS PLAYFULLY)

You are Brian, right?

Who else would I be?

I've never used a dating app before.

Ahh.

But my friend Nessa, she met her husband online.

But he turned out to be a psycho. You're not a psycho, are you?

Not as far as I know, Connie.

(LAUGHS MISCHEVIOUSLY)

Billie. Are you OK?

Yeah.

The others are ready to talk now.

OK.

Are you playing us?

Pardon?

Come on.

Dad went looking for his daughter. He went to her.

Billie didn't start this.

Do you have any photos of Jack from when your mother was with him?

Anything that proves what you say?

No.

Look...

Did he talk about us?

On his last night, did he say anything about us?

Of course. He said...

Susan, I just don't think she'd understand.

She'd judge me.

Even more than I judge myself.

He said you made him very happy.

And you.

My oldest boy Chris is all work, work, work.

It's all we've got in common.

I can't remember the last time I saw him smile.

Jack said he was proud of you managing the hotel, doing all the work.

And you.

My daughter Harri.

Oh, she is a firecracker.

Oh, you'd like her.

He said you were a firecracker. Couldn't stop talking about you.

(SNIFFS)

As you can imagine, it's all... it's just been such a shock.

I've got so many questions to ask you about Jack.

How did he find you? Did you know he was looking for you?

Can we save the rest till tomorrow?

It's been a long day. For all of us.

Yeah. I suppose we can wait till tomorrow morning.

Thank you.

Can you get to your room OK?

Harriet: I'll take her.

Thanks.

I'm sure the adults want to talk now.

It was nice meeting you all.

So... we're sisters.

I guess. Half sisters.

Never had a black sister before.

Never had a white one.

This is your room.

I'm sorry they are being such dicks to you.

I'm just upstairs if you need anything.

Thanks.

Hey.

I'm sorry about your dad.

Yours too.

No, I didn't know him, not like you did.

He was pretty cool.

There you go, sir.

Thank you very much.

I'm normally a bourbon and coke man, but this is not too shabby.

No, sir.

(BOTH LAUGH)

No, at 200 bucks a bottle, it better be good!

Well, you did say you wanted to spoil me.

Oh, what is mine is yours, Connie.

Mm! Cheers.

Cheers.

Here's looking up your skirt, eh?

(LAUGHS)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey, girl.

Bill, hey, are you OK?

Yeah.

Look what the Rossis are doing.

Bruno is after his 20 grand.

Woman: So much crap!

Have you got anything?

Man: Nah, nothing!

Do you want me to call the cops?

No. No cops.

Listen, don't come home, alright? Not yet. They're waiting for you.

Where are you?

I'm... I'm just out of town.

(LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND)

I've got to go. I'll call you as soon as I can.

Yeah. Love you.

(GUS LAUGHS LOUDLY)

That's very funny, Connie.

But you know, really, you've got to be very, very careful with the vine.

The vine?

Yeah.

Most people think it's the grape you've got to worry about.

No, that is a common mistake.

Mm.

It's the vine where you get all the flavour, texture, oomph.

Oomph. Mm.

Mm.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You don't know the first thing about wine, do you?

Well, I know how to drink it, Connie.

(BOTH LAUGH)

And you're not Brian, are you?

Do you even have a job?

I'm sort of between things at the moment, Connie.

So how are you going to pay for this?!

(MESSAGE TONE)

Connie.

Mm?

You want to have some fun?

Ooh, yeah.

Take off your shoes.

Is that all you want me to take off?

Oh, we'll get to that.

(GASPS EXCITEDLY)

Now... run.

Hey!

Oh, God!

Hey!

Zoe, stairs! Cut them off at the back.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Dad, I've been looking for you for half an hour.

Where are you and what are you doing?

You're going to get bloody arrested.

Get my leg over! There it is!

(LAUGHS)

(HORN BEEPS)

Oh! That's a big horn!

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet, darling!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, what was that? What was that?

Oi.

Who the hell are you?

I'm his daughter.

Eh? What?

Yeah, even looking like this.

Sorry, Connie. It is me daughter.

She works part-time for the fun police.

Get out.

Oh!

Can we avoid the bit where you get all yelly?

No, we can't. Doing a runner? Are you kidding me?

I've got to say goodbye to Connie properly.

We shall meet again, my dear.

Got to go, I'm in trouble.

You've got lipstick on! (LAUGHS)

♪ Follow, follow the sun ♪
♪ And which way the wind blows... ♪

You got any money?

Nuh.

About sixty cents.

Where we going?

Back to the hotel.

Don't put me back in the boot again!

Dad, shut up, please.

Where did you get the clothes from?

I borrowed 'em.

Yeah, right.

♪ So follow, follow the sun ♪

(WHISPERS) Stay there.

♪ And which way the wind blows when this day is done ♪

Come on.

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)

This is nice! This is real nice! How'd you swing this?

Later, Dad. Don't get any ideas.

Oh, this is even nicer, eh?

Aww!

Get off. You're sleeping on the couch.

Alright. Closer to the minibar.

Which is out of bounds.

Oh, come on, Billie! When did you get so mean?

When I started lying to save your neck.

Well, you're the one that wanted to come to Sydney.

Hey, we had to get out of town because Bruno was going to k*ll you.

20 grand, Dad. That's what you owe.

We'll stay here tonight, that's it.

I'll figure out something tomorrow morning.

Until then, don't leave the suite and don't touch the minibar.

OK.

Yeah.

(HUMS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

No minibar.

Gus: Can I come in?

(DOOR OPENS)

(CONTINUES HUMMING)

Thought you might want that.

I don't mean to cause you trouble, kid... just happens.

(CHUCKLES) Your mum used to say I had bad luck.

Drinking champagne you can't pay for isn't bad luck.

Well, technically, that was Connie's fault. She ordered it.

(SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE)

Come here.

You've still got lipstick on you.

Supposed to be me looking after you, not the other way round.

One beer.

Love you.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Billie? It's Susan Norton.

Ooh! I'll get me beer, get me beer.

Dad.

Just a second.

(BOTTLES CLANK)

Billie? Are you OK in there?

Did I wake you?

Look, sorry about before. Everyone is...

It's OK.

Look, this wasn't my idea, but others are very protective of our family interests.

That makes sense.

So, just to be 100% sure, we know a doctor who can organise a DNA test and turn it round overnight just to answer all our questions.

Yeah.

I think it's for the best.

So, I'll organise a kit for tomorrow?

Sure.

Great.

Super. Thank you.

Yes.

Night.

(WHISPERS) Why do they want you to do a DNA test?

They think I'm some long lost daughter.

Don't give me that look. We are leaving tomorrow.

But I don't think we should be too hasty, kid.

I mean, look at this place. We could figure something out.

Like what?

Well, I'm just kicking the can around, but maybe we could find someone's DNA who matches?

Now you want me to steal DNA?

I'm just saying.

Yeah, you would.

Find anything?

Nothing worth 20 grand.

But I know where she'll be tomorrow night.

They've got a gig in Dungog.

(SOFT SNORING)

Dad.

Dad.

Yeah, what? Where are we going?

Wake up.

What?

About what you said last night.

Yeah? The DNA thing?

Yeah.

Good idea.

No, it's terrible.

I just made me realise how ridiculous all this is.

To get you out of trouble, I've had to lie.

I'm not just going to follow your lead, Dad.

No more.

Fair enough.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

(WHISPERS) Get down.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Just wanted to see how you were doing?

Can I come in?

Do you reckon we can go for a walk?

Sure.

Billie, I...

Jamie, I've got to...

Sorry, you go.

I'm sorry about last night.

Our family can be a little intense at the best of times.

Given the last few days...

One shock after the other at the moment.

Same for you, huh?

Yeah, well, not the week I thought I was going to have, that's for sure.

Well, I'm here if you need anything.

When we left Walperinga, you said you were in some trouble.

Yeah, I just... had to get out of town.

Well, if you need some money, I can lend you a couple of hundred.

Nah, I'm sweet. Thanks.

It meant a lot. When you told the others what Dad said about them.

It's hard to know what he thought most of the time.

Yeah, well, he loved you all. That's the main thing.

Did he say anything about me?

What I told you already.

But hey, the way he talked about you, I reckon he saw a lot of himself in you.

Good time larrikin who should have settled down earlier, huh?

No.

Someone who cares more about people than money, was more of what I got.

(LOCK CLICKS)

Hey, Bill.

Hey.

You alright?

Are you ready?

Yeah, whenever you are, love.

Let me finish this and we're off, eh?

Yeah.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Yep.

What's this?

It's the order you sent down.

Jamie says it is on the house.

You... you have quite the appetite.

Huh. Didn't eat much yesterday.

Oh, you're making up for it today.

Hey, um... why have they got you up in here?

Are you an old girlfriend?

What?

Of Jamie's?

No.

Of Chris's?

No.

Sorry. It's none of my business. Live and let live, that's my motto.

I'll see you.

See you.

Dad!

Aw!

What the hell is all this?

Room service.

Don't leave this room.

Geez, Dad. Really?

Was she anxious or defensive?

Completely calm.

You'd think if she is lying, a DNA test with scare the hell out of her.

Maybe we shouldn't have doubted her.

Yeah, well, maybe she has done something like this before.

Well, we'll know soon enough.

I'm going to school.

Darling, I think it is best if you're with your family at the moment, at least for the next few days.

Says the woman walking out the door.

It's business. For your dad.

Otherwise of course I'd be here.

Besides, I've already told the school you're going to be staying home.

Without asking me?

I thought you'd be relieved.

I want to see my friends!

I'm sick of you making decisions for me.

That is ridiculous.

You make far more decisions than most girls your age.

Look, I will call you when I'm done and then we will do something special, just the two of us.

You'd love that.

Sure. See you then.

Tell me you'll be back tonight.

I got you a cossie for the '80s gig, babe, alright? Boy George.

I don't think so, Dan.

Well, I can get you something else.

It's not the costume.

You can't back out, B.

They've already paid.

Just get Layla to sing my parts.

Come on, you've got to be here, babe.

I can't! Have you seen my house? Bruno's gone nuts.

Sorry, I've got to go, Dan.

Where are you?

Billie.

I can't talk.

That didn't sound good.

Boyfriend. He's not happy.

You're not going back, are you?

No. Not yet.

You OK?

Yeah.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

It's just...

Mum is keeping me out of school till after the funeral and I've got nothing to do except think and she's at the lawyer's and it's all just...

Are you doing anything now?

The plan was to go make some calls, but...

...that can wait, hey?

Wow, this is amazing!

Dad brought me here when he got some time off.

We'd have sandwiches. He loved egg sandwiches.

I hide in there, I'd lie down in here and I'd pretend I was a garden fairy and this was my castle.

It was nice.

We'd sit here.

We wouldn't even talk sometimes, just sit.

Whenever he was sick, there was nothing anyone could do but...

Have you ever lost anyone?

Yeah, I have. My mum. When I was six.

(MESSAGE TONE)

What's up?

Mum.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)

Hey, Chris, you want to try some bacon?

No, I'm not really a bacon guy, thanks.

Just try it.

It's smoked with coffee maple syrup.

Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

How did you come up with this?

Mum's Brazilian, Dad's Canadian.

Really?

Um, hello!

It was a joke.

Right.

Hey, you're up.

Been up a while, actually.

Oh, really?

You wanted to talk?

Susan spoke to Billie last night.

She's organised for Dr Hon to send over a DNA kit.

Why didn't you tell me?

I'm telling you now.

You know, if she does turn out to be our sister, do you really think this is the best way to go?

I do, yeah.

Common sense.

Mum said I had to wear black for the funeral, but... do you think this is OK?

It should be whatever you feel good in.

That is nice. Go great with these.

Hey, you got any shoes that would go with that?

Yeah, my silver brogues.

Silver?

Yeah.

Cool.

What are you going to where?

Me?

Nah, I hadn't even thought about it.

I saw an awesome dress over here.

This would be great on you. What size?

Eight.

There it is. You've got to get this!

975 bucks? My whole wardrobe doesn't cost this much.

Put it back before it burns your fingers.

Give me the money, I'll pay for these.

Grab my bag.

Yeah.

I'm just going to get a drink.

OK.

Hey. How you going?

How are you?

Just these ones for you today?

(ALARM SOUNDS)

Man: Step inside, please.

Just stop there, please.

You pay for this?

Excuse me, what's going on?

This yours?

Well, the bag is mine, yeah.

Give it to her to carry?

Yes, I did.

I'll get you both to come in the back of the shop for me, please.

Look, it's my bag. I have already said it was me.

They will leave you out of it.

I'm not going to let you get blamed for this.

I've already given a statement.

I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened.

Those alarms didn't work last week.

You've done this before?

Harriet!

I don't want you getting in trouble 'cause of me.

Mum is waiting for you outside.

I don't want to go to Mum. I want to stay here with you.

Just go, please. Jamie and I can handle this.

You ready to sign your statement?

Of course.

Look, it was a really stupid thing to do. I'm sorry.

I'll pay whatever fine you want.

Yeah, I wish it was that easy, but I'm afraid you have a previous record, Miss Carter, that you didn't mention.

(SIREN WAILS)

I am so sorry.

Don't apologise. I know what Harriet can be like.

No, it wasn't her, it was me.

I felt cheap standing next to you guys.

It was a dumb thing to do, but I did.

And that $5,000...

Assurity on the condition you turn up for your hearing in two weeks.

Absolutely.

Great! You hungry?

It's pretty good, eh?

These aren't as good as Walperinga pies.

You got some... (LAUGHS)

So, what's with that prior conviction?

I'm sorry.

I've caused nothing but trouble since the moment you met me.

It's been exciting.

Well, there is exciting and then there's jail.

With that armed robbery charge. It was Gus.

Gus?

Yeah, a friend.

He was at a pizza joint and they'd gotten his order wrong heaps of times, kept putting mushrooms on them and he hates mushrooms.

I reckon they did it on purpose.

Anyway, he got pissed off this time and threatened the guy with a plastic fork, took the pizza without paying and I was waiting in the car outside.

You got arrested for that?

The local cop hated Gus.

Said that I was driving the getaway car.

Billie and Gus, crime spree.

Don't laugh.

Usually it's pretty boring around here.

Think you might be good for us...

Sis.

Computerised voice: Welcome to the Norton Hotel services guide.

Nearby entertainment.

(ENGINE TURNS OVER, SWITCHES OFF)

So, with no Billie, we'll drop Blondie and open with Queen.

Whatever you say, Freddie.

And ease up on the guitar solos.

Oi! Where is she?

I don't know. She hasn't told any of us.

Look, Mr Rossi....

Hey, got off the car.

You've got no beef with us, alright?

Billie was supposed to be here, but I don't think she's going to show.

Why are you dressed like that?

We've got to look the part. It's an '80s gig.

(LAUGHS) Mate! I think you got your wires crossed.

(OTHERS IN CAR LAUGH)

What do you think she was on about, getting our wires crossed?

I did kind of wonder why they booked us for 6:00.

You won't believe this. Dad. Dad, I just got arrested.

Dad?

Dad.

You've got to be kidding me.

♪ Whoa! I'm walking on sunshine, whoa! ♪
♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa! ♪
♪ And don't it feel good? ♪

I told you to stay in the room.

I'm solving our cashflow problem. Look here, 500 bucks, first prize.

♪ Say it again now And don't it feel good? ♪

You can't sing.

No, you can.

500 bucks is a long way off 20 grand, Dad.

It's a start. You're much better than her.

Go on, get up there and put your name down.

♪ Don't it feel good? ♪

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Well done, darling. Good work.

Give it up for Della one more time, everybody! What a marvellous talent!

Mate, you've been putting your drinks on the tab?

Mc: Definitely go far in this business...

Yeah, what's the problem?

It's not your tab.

Come on, let's settle up.

(MESSAGE TONE)

How much has he spent?

38 bucks.

_

We take cash or cards.

Pin number.

You know, technically, it is just 'pin'.

The N already stands for 'number'.

You're not helping, Dad.

Declined.

Oh, what?

Can you believe those bastards?

That's two weeks in a row they haven't paid me, darling!

Listen, we'll just slip round the corner, we'll come back in five...

It's simple, guys. Either you pay up now or we call the cops.

Just give us a few minutes, please.

Yes or no, have you got the cash?

..for second place and $100 for third place.

Not yet.

Have I got any takers? Does anybody want to sing?

Oh, we've got a taker here. Come on down!

We will wait, we will.

♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪
♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪
♪ Find light in the beautiful sea I choose to be happy ♪
♪ You and I, you and I We're like diamonds in the sky ♪
♪ You're a sh**ting star I see a vision of ecstasy ♪
♪ When you hold me I'm alive We're like diamonds in the sky ♪
♪ I knew that we'd become one right away ♪

(PHONE RINGS)

♪ Oh, right away ♪
♪ At first... ♪

Dan.

Gus? Look, I need to speak with Billie. Is she there?

No, mate. She's busy, mate. Listen.

♪ I saw the life inside your eyes ♪
♪ Tonight you and I ♪
♪ We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky... ♪

Is that music? She is supposed to be singing here.

She's brilliant!

Gus?

Dan?

Gus?

Danny boy?

Gus?!

(HANG-UP TONE)

♪ Shine bright like a diamond Oh, yeah! ♪
♪ Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond ♪
♪ Shine bright like a diamond Like diamonds in the sky ♪

(RAPTUROUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Where is she, Leyla? Where'd she go?

I don't know.

Oh, come on. She tells you everything!

I don't know.

Oh, come off it, yes you do.

Come on, guys.

We had a good show tonight. Come on.

It's alright. Come on.

Dan.

(GROANS)

Your friends.

Rachel Rossi: We're still owed.

Gimme the keys.

Come on, that's Gus's problem, it's not mine.

I don't owe you anything!

Give her the keys.

We are keeping these until your girlfriend gives us what she owes.

Yeah, all right.

(ENGINE STARTS)

You was robbed.

Second prize is fine.

At least we cleared your tab, we've got a couple of hundred bucks left.

You tell me she is not sleeping with the judge. Look at her.

She is all over him.

Hey, Dan rang. He got a bee in his bonnet about some gig or something.

I just got robbed.

What happened?

Bruno! Until you pay up, all of our band gear, my van, gone.

We have to hitch back.

Alright, I'll call him.

I'll get your stuff back.

And what were you doing singing?

Are you gigging with another band?

(CHUCKLES)

No, I was just trying to get some money out of an open mic.

Hey, I came in second.

Oh, really, B? I'm really happy for you. And you know what?

You can keep doing that. You're fired from Cardiac Arrest!

What did you just do?

I just fired Billie from Cardiac Arrest.

You can't do that.

I just did.

You can't fire Billie.

Well, I can't un-fire her, can I? I don't have a time machine!

You're a douche.

Yeah, I'm all about the future as well.

Not the past! You are living in the past, Layla! No more Billie!

(TYRES SCREECH)

How's that for your future, Dan?

I've been thinking about the DNA.

If you just got some off that little sister and pretend it's yours, that'd be perfect.

I don't think so.

Come on, don't give up.

No, Dad. It's over.

Billie.

Susan wants a word with you.

She's... up on the roof.

Thanks.

There you are!

I'd offer you a drink, but it's all gone.

No worries. I don't drink.

Course you don't.

You know, I've been sitting here thinking.

What gets me know, what I really...

I just don't understand why Jack wouldn't have told me.

He didn't cheat on me, so why would he think I'd care about you?

Here is the kit for the DNA test.

You just have to swab the inside of your mouth and then pop it back in the plastic tube when you're done.

It's all there.

If you mess up, don't panic. I have spares.

(CHRIS SIGHS)

Hey. Can you give this to Dr Hon?

Just let me finish up here. I'll take it over in five.

I got it! I got her hair!

I was following that Harriet around. She never saw me.

She got up from one of the chairs in the lobby, one of those big ones...

Boom.

Dad, stop. I'm not lying anymore.

Nah, come on.

We can't stop now, Bill. Look, I've got the thing!

I just gave Susan a DNA sample and in the morning they'll all know the truth.

Now, come on, Billie. You've got to focus, OK?

We don't want much from these people. We're not asking for...

Dad! Stop! We are done! It's over!

I'm sick of it, of everything!

Of my lies and yours and acting like a d*ck. Aren't you sick of it?

Look at you. Chasing a girl around to get a piece of hair.

What is that?

I'm going back to Walperinga and I don't care what Bruno does.

You can do whatever you want, Dad.

You're on your own.

Well... at least I know where I stand.

I'm not going back home.

And I'm not going to hang around here to watch the... brown particulars hit the proverbial.

You know me, kid.

(JINGLING)

See ya, kid.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh, hey, mate. Mate.

These need a clean.

Billie to the guest suite.

(SIGHS)

(HORN HONKING)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Want a ride, stranger?

By the way, what is your name?

Lucky.

(GROWLS, BOTH LAUGH)

(PLAYS "PHOTOGRAPH" BY ED SHEERAN)

You're good.

(LAUGHS)

Been a while since I played.

Mum taught me when I was pretty young.

That's a great song.

Yeah.

♪ So you can keep me ♪
♪ Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans ♪
♪ Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet ♪

Jamie?

Jamie?

Keep singing.

(PIANO STOPS)

Hey. If it's about this afternoon, the police, don't worry about it.

We'll get through it.

It's not about that.

(SIGHS) I'm not your sister.

I just had to get out of Walperinga, and I don't want your money.

I should probably go now.

It's late.

Leave in the morning.

I'm sorry.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey. You rang me?

Yeah.

Are you OK? You don't sound too good.

I'm fine, I just... I'm coming home, Layla.

Do you think you should? Bruno is still pissed.

I gotta go somewhere.

Don't even have any money, I can't even afford a bus ticket.

Don't worry, sis, I'll put some in your account.

I'll make sure it's in here at 9:00.

And I'll pick you up at the bus so Bruno doesn't see you here first.

'Til we figure out what we doing, okay?

Thanks.

Text me on the way.

Yeah.

We'll figure this out, Bill.

I guess so.

Love ya.

Love ya.

(SIGHS)

Just about to come find you.

Don't worry, I'm leavin'.

Not yet, you're not.

The results are back.

Everyone's waiting.

Look, there's something I need to tell you.

Something you already know.

Please take a seat.

Well, I think the results speak for themselves.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

What does it say?

It says she's a match.

You're one of us.

♪