03x09 - Mother Load

[bunniefuu]

Brave warriors, today begins our quest to save our home!

All: The Warlock's Chest.

Yes.

Our beloved sanctuary has been marked for demolition.

So, brandish your clipboards, unsheathe your pens and collect the signatures I need to make it onto the West Altadenia alderman's ballot.

Seriously, guys, get going.

It's Thanksgiving.

I said that I would help set the table, so please.

What the hell is this?

Cabe. Oh, Cabe!

You've come to help me get signatures for my campaign.

No, I'm here to help Paige get some potatoes for the dinner, which you better not miss because you're playing dress-up with your chums.

Cripes, man, how old are you?

I am Dyfrost The Wise and I've seen 50 winters.

Go away.

Kid, nerds dressed up in their mother's bathrobes, harassing the electorate, isn't how you win an election.

Uh, well... dressing up gets people's attention.

It was Kaldor's idea, my, uh, campaign manager.

Statistically, there's more foot traffic on Thanksgiving.

It's the perfect way to...

Piss people off.

They got to feed 20 relatives today; they don't want to be bothered by a bunch of freaky wizards.

So, you come back on a Sunday morning, when folks are relaxed, then you'll get your signatures.

That's actually a good idea.

But what about him?

People are lining up for him.

He's not even set up yet.

He's giving away free cranberry sauce.

Oh, great, 99 cents a can.

200 bucks and he gets every signature he needs.

Is that Toby?

What the heck, man?!

You're fraternizing with the enemy!

Paige makes that homemade cranberry sauce.

I swung by here to pick up some of the good stuff.

It's a good thing I ran into that guy, huh?

He's the competition.

Oh, well, relax. I used a fake name.

Signature's not valid.

Mr. Curtis.

Excuse me, you left your license.

I'm sorry, man. They asked for ID.

It was free sauce.

You must be my competition.

I'm Dr. Sanjay Patel.

Sylvester Dodd.

Doctor?

Oh, what's your specialty?

I have a PhD in geology.

Funny how they throw the term doctor around, isn't it?

Sanjay, we're running out of cans.

We need to restock.

Everyone, this is my campaign manager, Allie Jones.

Allie, our esteemed opponent.

Mr. Dodd, a pleasure.

I'd love to introduce myself to your campaign manager if he's around.

(shouting)

He's not here.

Uh... I'm-I'm running in.

I could, I could grab some cranberry sauce for you so you won't lose your, uh, your post there.

My name is Gabe, Cabe.

Cabe, Cabe Gallo.

Scottish Cabe.

Italian Gallo.

A little Gaelic and garlic.

Fun.

And I do appreciate the help; I'll be right over there.

It's great to meet all of you.

Sanjay, we should really get back.

Toby: Look at him.

Flush, red around the ears.

I'd say turkey isn't the only bird Cabe's got his eye on today.

And my Harvard-trained preceptors tell me that she was flirting with you.

Shouldn't slap another man's sauce.

Where's Cabe?

I sent him to buy some potatoes, not grow them.

Happy, can you help me with the pies?

Happy?

Oh.

What the heck is that?

I asked you to pick me up a carving Kn*fe, not something from Mad Max.

I know, but I was thinking about the engineering of electric knives and how they're underutilized, so I made this.

Check it out.

It toasts the bread while it cuts.

We call it the Toasty-Slicey.

The Slicey-Toasty.

Guys, all I want is a traditional family dinner.

Turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, so please, no more genius-y stuff, not today.

(Walter clears his throat)

My electrolyte elixir worked.

Oh, God, help me.

Smells good in here.

Well, I really hope you... like stuffing 'cause that's all I've made so far.

Well, I've made strides that prove that my new drink substantially enhances athletic endeavors.

You drank that sludge?

Fastest Turkey Trot I've ever run.

No muscle cramping, no dehydration, and it is all thanks to Wally's invention.

And Timbo's peak performance.

(chuckles)

(phone rings)

Excuse me, got to get this.

Walter: Yes.

Wally and Timbo? Seriously?

Yeah, you wanted us to get along, we're getting along.

Glad you're friends, just got to tell you, it's a little... weird. (chuckles)

You'd rather us be enemies?

No.

It's just... Walter's not one to, uh, make friends with humans, so... guess you must be a pretty special human.

Mm.

Walter: Great. See you then.

Great news. We just picked up a job.

For when?

Now. Let's gear up.

No! I've been planning this meal for a week, and I need help, and there's no way we're taking off for the South Seas or the Ukraine.

This is Thanksgiving and we're gonna have a happy, family meal, damn it.

(sighs)

It's not the Ukraine.

It's El Segundo.

And it's a quick structural inspection.

Some real estate investor, named Veronica Franklin, needs to have permit paperwork to the city by Monday morning, but everyone's gone because of the holiday weekend.

Nice. Desperation prices.

Exactly. Top dollar for a few hours' work and we desperately need to refill our slush fund.

No, we don't.

Slush fund's fine.

Actually, it's been financing my recent inventions, like Genius Water.

You can't call it that. There's already Smart Water.

That's a good point. We should brainstorm.

No! No brainstorming.

I can't believe you guys are gonna mess up Thanksgiving.

Do you know how hard it is not to screw up a turkey?

Just pop that fowl in the oven.

We'll be back in a few hours.

The client is at the end of her rope.

She saw an article about Scorpion, read that we employed a genius engineer.

Guilty as charged.

You always say that Scorpion is about helping people.

Now, you get her to sign the paperwork while we work, and we'll be done before you know it.

(car horn honks)

Oh, hey, there's the others.

Ralph, help Sly unload the groceries and I'll get the contracts together.

And, Walter, if my turkey is not cooked in time, your goose will be.

Joint's falling apart.

What is it?

Cabe: It's an old Philochrome film manufacturing plant, been empty for decades.

Guys...

(indistinct conversation)

.. you hear something?

Yeah, actually I do.

It sounds like...

Cantonese.

(laughing): Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's a business deal.

They're negotiating.

You know Cantonese?

Well, how do you expect me to watch lectures by Chinese physicists?

(speaking Cantonese)

Walter: Ms. Franklin?

Yeah, I'm Walter O'Brien.

We-We spoke on the phone.

Hello.

Thank you for coming.

Walter: Certainly, Ms. Franklin.

Uh, tell me how we can help you.

What the hell are you doing here?

You okay, kid?

Paige, just hear me out.

How does Ms. Franklin know your name?

Her last name is not Franklin.

It's Dineen.

She's my mother.

Not good?

I know this is a lot to process, but I really need your help and you're the only person I could turn to.

I don't want anything to do with you or whatever you're trying to get us involved in.

Yeah, what are we involved in?

An uncomfortable family squabble.

Well, it's about the building.

I assume it's not the structural issue that you mentioned on the phone.

That's correct.

What a shock; Mom playing fast and loose with the truth.

I had to be sure that you would come.

You see, I've been following Scorpion in the news.

What?

I can't be interested in my daughter's life?

Since when?

(sighs) And I knew that Scorpion was the type of business that could help me.

How do we help you exactly?

See, uh, over there?

We found this very old piece of machinery and it was covered in warning stickers: "Danger." "Hazardous Materials."

And I just didn't know what to do.

Okay, well, I can check it out, Ms. Dineen, yeah.

Thank you, Walter. Thank you.

Walter: Sure. - N-No.

No, we're not helping her.

Walter.

We don't entertain her lies.

You guys, we can't believe anything she says.

Veronica: Yes, you can. You see, I represent Swiss bankers who are buying this property.

Now, I hired a few day laborers to relay a little bit of the foundation there, but vibrations from the jackhammer forced this fake wall to fall down and-and underneath it there was a-an old elevator shaft with the machinery in it.

And I figured only a team of geniuses could help me.

Well, you figured wrong.

Walter: Happy, you got to check this out. Come, hurry!

No, I just said we're not helping.

How is that not clear?!

Uh, uh, pal? Uh, you are, uh... how do I put this?

You're letting the weight of your emotional baggage crash your Paige plane.

You see, you control how you react to this unforeseen development.

Toby, I swear I will stuff my foot in your business like you're a Thanksgiving turkey.

And our session is complete.

Guys, I am the manager of this team, and we are not taking this case, period.

We're taking this case.

Are you kidding me?! Why?

Because the machine in the back is a nuclear reactor.

(under breath): Oh, I'm never finishing that turkey.

♪ Scorpion 3x09 ♪
Mother Load
Original Air Date on November 21, 2016

Seems like a Nobelium Neutron Activator.

Probably loaded with three pounds of enriched uranium plates.

Like the californium neutron flux multiplier that Kodak put in the bottom of their Rochester, New York facility in '74, except theirs wasn't capable of nuclear fission.

Well, this one is.

Why would Philochrome have a reactor?

To run power-hungry equipment that checks for the impurities in film, neutron radiography testing, plenty of other applications.

This is the stuff of legends.

Decades ago, a handful of private companies built their own mini-reactors and they hid them.

Can't believe we actually found one.

Okay, but how is it still running in an abandoned building?

Right here.

Illegally spliced into the power grid.

When the company went belly up, everyone boogied and left this thing here.

(wood and metal groans, then crashes)

Happy: Whoa.

What in the hell was that?

All the jackhammering weakened the foundation around the support beams.

Whole basement's unstable.

Piece of ceiling or column could fall and hit on the reactor.

But the reactor's encased, right?

So...

Well, the cooling system isn't.

Look at, you see these pipes?

When this system was built, they used a liquid metal process made of sodium and potassium.

It doesn't corrode the pipes inside like water-based systems, but...

Always a but.

They soon realized that sodium and potassium react explosively when exposed to water, even with trace amounts of water in the air.

So, if there's a collapse in here and it breaks one of those pipes...

The cooling system goes boom.

On top of a nuclear reactor.

In the middle of Los Angeles.

Mushroom cloud city.

Millions of people at risk.

Cabe: I'll make the necessary calls.

(Veronica sighs)

Thank goodness I called for help.

You're seriously taking credit when you're the one who made this mess?

I certainly did not.

I didn't let this building rot to the point where it's dangerous, I didn't put liquid metal in those pipes.

And I surely didn't build an illegal reactor.

No, you just walked back into my life after a decade, more than happy to blow it up again, figuratively and literally.

Paige...

What are you doing in this building, Mom?

'Cause we all know you're up to something, as usual!

Paige...

You're upset, we'll talk about this later.

I have nothing to say to you, except go back to where you came from.

And the bell ends the round.

We are gonna step outside, take some breaths and calm down.

Keep her away from me.

So...

Thanksgiving plans?

This is ridiculous.

I am gonna go talk to her right now.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I'm sorry, and you are?

Tim Armstrong, I'm... dating your daughter.

It's nice to meet you.

Well, Tim, I'm glad you know what my daughter needs, after dating her for how long?

A few months.

Oh, okay, well, I gave birth to her when I was 17.

I saw her through everything from tonsillitis to tap dancing, so I appreciate your concern for her well-being, but I know what's best for her, and what's best is for she and I to talk this out.

I agree and you should, just... not right now.

Cabe: Thanks for nothing!

(phone beeps)

What?

State nuclear facility says their closest inspectors are two hours away.

They're rushing 'em to L.A. now.

We could have an expl*si*n by then.

Understood, but we're dealing with a government bureaucracy on a four-day holiday weekend.

Most of the people I need to talk to traveled yesterday to be with their families.

Cabe, did you try Homeland?

Yeah, I did, and Homeland said, with a problem like this, they'd call Scorpion.

They did offer logistical help if we need it.

So we need a lead-lined facility, simple underground structure so nothing could fall on it, ideally on bedrock to protect the pipes from breaking in unforeseen seismic activity.

Then what we do is we just keep it there until the nuclear commission can properly dismantle it.

Ralph and I are searching for something matching those specs now!

But if we remove the reactor from its power source, the cooling system shuts off-- nuclear meltdown.

That's why we need a truck.

We secure the reactor in the back, I'll rig the truck's battery to the cooling system.

That'll give us about 31 minutes to get the nuke to wherever it's going.

I have a rented truck outside for the equipment.

A-A truck for a few jackhammers?

It was all they had, so...

Everything she's involved with is suspicious.

You keep saying that-- that she's a liar, she's duplicitous, she's sneaky-- but unless you tell me why you feel that way, I can't help you.

Okay, you want to hear it? Fine.

What was your hourly private practice rate?

Well, it was $400 an hour.

Problem was, racetrack made $500.

Well, here's 20 bucks.

You're retained.

Patient-doctor confidentiality.

You cannot tell anyone on the team.

Legally I can't, but I-I wouldn't anyway if you had just asked.

That being said, I'm keeping the $20.

My mother is a con woman, a first-degree grifter.

Growing up, she was in everything from pyramid schemes that ripped off PTA moms to selling time-shares that she didn't own.

How did that affect your relationship?

Relationship?

What relationship?

She was always doing time-- six months here, eight months there.

I told my friends that she was a saleswoman who traveled the world making custom perfumes for celebrities.

And my dad worshipped her, and when he finally moved out, he took me with him because he knew being around her was unhealthy for a child.

He was right.

And every once in a while, she would-- she would show up and-- and bring me a gift and I wouldn't open it because I knew how she paid for it.

With money that belonged to someone who had been swindled.

(voice breaking): And my father d*ed...

My father... d*ed heartbroken because of the woman that you met today.

Whatever.

I-I've made my peace with it.

Paige, you have not made your peace with it.

You have built-up anger and that's harmful.

You need to talk to your mother in a constructive way, let her know how she's made you feel.

No, if it were easy talking to Veronica Dineen, I would have had it out with her a long time ago.

For years I have searched my soul for any love I have left for her and...

I've found nothing.

(computer beeps)

I found something!

What do you have?

In the 1950s Solarsun Pictures built an underground film vault in Palos Verdes to preserve their film library.

Been empty since everything went digital.

Walter, according to this site, the vault is lead-lined and airtight!

And it's on bedrock.

So, for safety's sake, we shouldn't drive over 25 miles per hour with the reactor in the truck, but Palos Verdes is only 11 miles away, so we get there well before the truck's battery can no longer keep the cooling system operational.

I got a question.

This thing weighs several hundred pounds.

How are we gonna get it out of here and into a truck without banging it around so much that we all get toasted?

Happy: We got to figure out a way to get this up the shaft, to the first floor and out the door.

It's only ten feet.

Yeah, well, it might as well be a hundred.

Not necessarily.

Happy, get the car jack from Cabe's truck.

Roger that.

Now, everyone, look for something that we can put under the reactor.

(grunting)

Hey!

This thing is full of film canisters!

Would these work?

Found some trade binders!

We can put the jack on these!

Great, bring them over!

Move out of the way!

(jack cranking)

Okay, Cabe, Tim, stack the canisters under the pallet.

Power cables are pulled tight.

I'll have to disconnect 'em from the grid.

Once I do that, the cooling system goes down and the reactor starts heating up.

Walter, how much time do we have to connect it to the truck battery before meltdown?

Well, if I'm right about the uranium contents, I'd say 19 minutes.

That's not a lot of time.

(grunts)

Well, there's never enough time.

Here, start unhooking it.

Um, while they're doing that, may I talk to you for a moment?

Uh, yeah, but it'll have to be quick 'cause they're nearly done.

Okay, understood. Just...

You know, um, I know today has been volatile.

But it was never my intention to turn your company upside down.

Oh, no, it's okay.

Uh, emotional situations are always-- often dysfunctional.

Oh, well, everything between Paige and I has been dysfunctional for some time now.

I was terrified for a while-- you know, how she'd turn out-- she was rudderless, single mom, dropped out of school.

So, when I saw her name mentioned in articles I read about Scorpion, uh...

(chuckles)

I was relieved.

She seems to have found a home, and I'm appreciative of that more than you could ever know.

So thank you.

Well, we appreciate Paige.

She's very, uh...

She brings intangibles.

You seem to really care for her.

As a-- as a valued member of the team, of course.

Yeah, she's t-top notch.

So, um, okay.

Oh, no, we...

Oh, can I just...

Thank you for listening and being so kind.

I mean, between Paige and Tim, I haven't received a very warm welcome.

Oh, well, Tim is... (chuckles) an acquired taste.

Uh, I-I didn't much like him when he first came to Scorpion.

Oh, he's not one of the original geniuses?

Oh, no. He's not a genius.

Then why is he on the team?

Well, he's a Homeland trainee.

Oh.

Paige: I mean, you have no idea how manipulative she is!

One conversation and she has you doubting yourself!

This is not worth $20.

(phone ringing)

Oh, thank God.

Hello.

Doc, you, Paige and Veronica need to take her truck and pick up packing materials to cushion the reactor during the drive.

Veronica's on her way up.

I'm not going anywhere with her!

Why is she even still here?

'Cause we need the manpower to load up the truck, and there isn't much time!

I'm about to disconnect the power cables, so we'll have less than 20 minutes until meltdown.

Well, I feel like I'm about to have a meltdown.

About to?

(powering down)

Okay, here we go.

(cranking)

Keep it steady!

Thank you for the obvious advice.

Canisters!

Okay!

(Cabe grunts)

Binders!

Oh, I got it!

(Cabe grunting)

(creaking)

Almost to the first floor.

Cabe, get up there and pull that sucker out!

On my way!

So, Veronica, which field of real estate are you in?

Development, finance.

Fraudulent transactions.

Not helpful.

And, uh, you work out of L.A. mostly?

Actually, I live just outside of Scottsdale.

A lovely gated community.

But I hate talking about myself.

(chuckling)

I'd like to catch up with my daughter, but since she won't speak with me, maybe you could fill me in on her life.

I'd love to hear about her boyfriend, Tim?

(whispers): I will k*ll you.

Doctor?

I think he's a Virgo.

No, no, no. No, no.

We are not going to sit here and discuss my life in front of someone who has not been a part of that life.

I'm making an effort, Paige.

20 years too late!

I am uncomfortable.

Okay, what is your real agenda?

Why-why are you in L.A.?

Why did you call my company into this thing?

One, I don't have an agenda.

Two, I'm in L.A. on business.

And three, I needed help and wanted to reconnect with you.

I don't believe anything you say.

Now pull in here.

En garde!

Toby: Oh, see this is why I didn't do family therapy.

Oh, great.

Hardware store is closed 'cause of Thanksgiving.

What are we gonna do now?

Walter says we need materials to cushion the reactor.

I have an idea.

Support Sanjay Patel for alderman?

I'm a Sylvester Dodd woman.

She's having a rough day.

Good job, Happy! It's almost level with the floor.

Okay, should be just about there.

Cabe: Hey, it's started swaying, you guys!

Oh, crap.

The canisters are falling!

Okay, I'll restack the binders! Happy, get the jack in place for support!

Come on.

(grunting)

Uh, big problem!

Jack broke!

Get out from under there before that thing crushes you!

If this thing falls, the pipes break, liquid metal exposed.

And then mushroom cloud.

(grunting)

All right!

We are not gonna be able to hold this thing very long.

Cabe: We gotta figure out a way to get this weight off them!

Uh, give me a second!

I hope your back's feeling strong, Cabe, I got a plan.

I'm gonna jam this sucker under those bars on top of the reactor.

Don't hit the coolant pipes!

No duh! Push down hard on the seesaw.

(creaking)

Yeah, it's not all the way to the top.

Happy: I can see.

Cabe, lie on the bar.

What?

Just lie on the damn bar!

(straining)

Hyah!

We got it.

(à la Ricky Ricardo): Sweetheart, you have some 'splaining to do.

Careful.

Careful with that.

You get the packing material?

Hardware store was closed.

We had to improvise.

Toilet paper and marshmallows.

Yeah, that'll work.

So, Happy, we have six and a half minutes to get the reactor hooked up to the truck's battery.

Okay, get that beast to the back, and I'll have it ready in less than five.

Done!

With 91 seconds to spare.

This is what you do for a living?

This'll keep the reactor cool for 31 minutes.

That's more than enough time to get to the film storage bunkers.

So, Happy, we need to stay in the back and monitor the temperature and mechanics.

If the pipes break, the cooling system fails, and then mushroom cloud.

Tim, Cabe, hold the reactor steady.

If they bounce too much, mushroom cloud.

And then, Paige, Toby, drive cautiously.

One wrong pothole...

Mushroom cloud, got it.

All right, hurry!

Where are you going?

I'm coming.

I feel responsible.

No, you're just faking guilt because God knows what you want to get out of this.

So do what you do best, walk away while I clean up your mess.

Be reasonable.

I can help and still make my 3:00 appointment.

It's a win-win.

Read my lips, you're not getting in this truck.

Paige, you drive stick?

I told you to let me teach you.

She's a mother trucker.

Great driving, Veronica.

Slow and steady, no faster than 25 miles per hour and we should get there safe.

Guys, I'm looking at the city grid online.

There is zero traffic due to the holiday weekend.

Got clear skies, smooth sailing.

Our cases rarely go this well.

What's that?

A weirdo in a cape dropped it off.

Kaldor?

Don't know, I wouldn't let him in.

He was wearing a cape.

"Don't be a clod, vote for Dodd."

You know, I asked him to get me T-shirts.

Capes are a bad idea.

(truck rattling)

No...

Veronica: What's this?

Toby: Sly, you're route's blocked by the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Sylvester (over radio): Impossible.

I know the route perfectly.

They're premiering the Super Fun Guy balloon.

I'm recording it and everything.

Well, there are barricades in front of us that say you sent us the wrong way.

Well, they must have changed their route last minute and forgot to update the Web site.

Well, it's just a police barricade.

I can go around it.

Wouldn't be the first time.

They can't drive through a parade route.

Why not? If this thing blows up on top of the float or ten blocks away, either way the parade's over.

We can get LAPD to try to clear it, but you cancel it, you're gonna get thousands of spectators simultaneously leaving the area.

Total gridlock.

We'll never make it to Palos Verdes in time.

Cabe: Sly, find another road.

All side streets heading south are blocked, east and west of you.

Okay, then, we'll take Hawthorne.

It goes all the way around.

Too much added time.

The truck's battery will die, and with it, most of Los Angeles.

Hey, we're right next to the muni golf course.

No cars, no barricades-- we can drive right through the city.

According to its Web site, it's closed for the holiday weekend.

There shouldn't be anybody on the course.

No, it's too dangerous.

We need smooth roads, not hills, bumps, and divots.

Boss, I've got this nuke box hooked up to a 12.6-volt direct-current battery.

It's already starting to heat up, and the marshmallows are melting-- we need a plan.

I got it.

We can go over unpaved roads.

We just need to use these moving straps.

But they're not flexible.

They have no give.

That's why I'm gonna build shock absorbers.

Out of what?

Us.

Toby: We're down to 24 minutes and counting-- how's it going back there?

Sylvester (on radio): Almost done.

Can I help?

Something tells me a nuclear reactor is a less-volatile situation than the one up here.

Can it, Toby.

I kid.

Not really.

Speaking of kids, how is my grandson?

He's delightful.

None of your business.

I-I mean, it's none of your business.

I can't wait to meet him.

What could possibly make you think I would ever let you see my son?

Because you're a kind and decent person, and wouldn't deny a boy his own grandmother.

Watch me.

Mushroom cloud would be nice right about now.

Hey, Veronica, when I say so, hit the greens.

Guys, lift on three.

One, two, three!

(all groaning, straining)

Walter: Okay, good.

Got it. Drive.

Sylvester: I can imagine that's heavy.

You only have eight minutes, and then you'll clear the course and you'll be on your way.

Just hold on.

All we're doing is holding on.

Get the rig going faster.

No, no, no.

Not faster on soft ground, okay?

We can't risk the volatility.

You want volatility?

Keep letting your side sag.

Man up and lift.

(thump)

What the hell was that?

What?

(banging)

Oh, balls.

What do you mean, "Oh, balls"?

I mean we're getting pelted by golf balls!

What? The site said the course was closed.

The course, not the range.

(golf balls thumping)

Aah! Geez!

Those jerks are aiming at us.

I would, too, if I saw a truck on my driving range.

(pelting continues)

Toby: Uh, Happy, would it be bad if one of the wire connectors you rigged were broken by a golf ball?

Mushroom-cloud bad.

That's what I thought.

Should I drive faster?

Walter: No! It's too dangerous.

What is their problem?

It's human nature.

We got balls, clubs, a moving target, and frat boys home on Thanksgiving break.

This is what they do.

Damn it, I guess I'm doing this.

Doing what?

Becoming a human piñata.

I'm gonna protect the connector box.

(shrieking)

Aah! Try to break it now, jerks!

Ow!

Aah! Ow!

(Toby grunting)

Man, they're really nailing him.

Kind of wish I could see that.

Just a few more yards, Toby.

Aah! Ow!

We're off the course now.

You can put the reactor down.

Okay, Cabe, carefully.

Gentle.

You okay?

Uh, never worse.

Great. Uh, well, that shortcut worked.

We'll get to the film vault on time.

Yeah, but I'm gonna miss my 3:00 appointment.

You're worried about one of your crooked meetings when there's five million lives on the line?

It's with people who don't like to be kept waiting.

(g*nshots)

Whoa! What the hell?!

We're being sh*t at?

They found me.

I don't know how, but they found me.

Aah!

If a b*llet cracks the cooling pipe, it's over.

Okay, who the hell are these guys?!

Not waiting around to find out.

Veronica, screw the 25-mile-an-hour limit, floor it!

(g*nf*re)

Aah!

Oh, let me guess.

The people sh**ting at us are your 3:00.

Good guess.

(g*nshots continue)

(g*nf*re)

Sly, you gotta help us out, man.

We got b*ll*ts raining down on us.

Okay, we are strategizing an escape plan now.

Ralph, you're a gamer, what do you see?

Hang a left on Beach Cove.

I have an idea.

Toby: Quick, turn left.

(g*nf*re continues)

What are these guys after?

They think we're carrying money.

They're Swiss bankers.

It's a real estate deal.

What Swiss bankers sh**t at people?

O-Okay, they're not Swiss, but they do have Swiss bank accounts.

Congratulations, your lying is gonna get us k*lled.

(g*nshots)

(tires screech)

Walter: Aah!

Veronica, you will be approaching train tracks very soon-- drive over them.

Ralph, progress report.

I'm almost into the city's train system.

The tracks are gonna jostle this thing hard, hold on!

(g*nshots continue)

We're in.

(railroad crossing bell clanging)

Whoa!

(bell clanging)

(tires screeching)

Oh, yeah!

Nice job, Sly, you nailed 'em!

What the hell, Mom?!

I had no idea that they would resort to this kind of v*olence.

Who?

These...

You know what, don't tell me.

You're just gonna lie anyway.

We're gonna get the reactor to the film vault, Happy's gonna splice its cooling system into the grid, and you can walk home.

I am so done with you!

(alarm sounding)

What now?

Oh, boy.

Uh, there's a GPS k*ll switch on the engine. a GPS what switch?

We've got no battery to keep our hot box cool.

We're on a countdown to meltdown.

I'll try and override.

Wait, when you rented this truck, what did you do?

I said I had a rented truck.

I never said I rented a truck.

Someone with a credit card ending in 3939 rented it, technically.

Great, the credit card company picked up the fraud, and the rental place used the GPS to shut down the truck.

Thanks, Mom. If millions of people die, it'll be your fault.

How could I know about GPS switches?

I've been in prison for six years.

Prison?

Prison?

Prison?

Grandma's a jailbird.

That's your gated community in Arizona?

Arizona State Penitentiary for Women.

It has lots of gates.

Guys, I didn't plan for this to turn out this way.

You know those... those men who were sh**ting at us?

I did business with them a while ago.

I owe them some money, and when I got out, I wanted to settle up.

We were supposed to meet at the factory, and then I found this nuclear thing and things got sidetracked.

I didn't know how dangerous they were.

They probably went to the building early to make sure you weren't playing any games.

They saw you leave with us, followed.

Probably thought their money was on the truck.

Waited until we got far enough away from the driving range, no one could see us, opened fire.

Paige: Congratulations.

You've graduated to hanging out with K*llers.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that things spiraled out like this.

I'm... sorry I put you and your friends in danger.

I'm... sorry about today and every other day prior to this day.

You don't have a baby and think that you're gonna end up a lousy parent.

It's not the plan.

It just happens.

It doesn't just happen.

You allow it to happen.

And I would never allow that to happen to my child.

I know.

Because you're a better mother than I could ever be.

I've made a million mistakes, but I've never stopped loving you.

And no matter what you say to me, no matter how much you hate me, I never will.

Happy: Okay, no go.

They make these switches complicated for a reason.

We don't have the tools or the time for me to get the battery running again.

Bottom line?

Bottom line?

We've got about nine minutes until meltdown.

Walt, you got to figure a way to cool this reactor without a battery.

Okay, Sly, what's our current distance from the ocean?

Less than three miles.

Walter: Okay.

Uh, I know what you're thinking, but even if we could get it to the ocean, liquid metal can't have contact with water or it'll explode.

And the coolant pipes are so brittle, they'll cr*ck in the cold ocean.

So, then we ditch the coolant.

Tim: How?

You said even the moisture in the air could cause it to detonate.

Sodium metal can be stored in oil.

If you drain the coolant directly into oil, without exposing it to oxygen, you can safely remove it before sinking the reactor.

All right, where do we get that much oil?

Holy cow.

When we were driving away from the sh**t, we drove so far out of the way that we circled back around to the parade route.

So what?

Look.

It's churros!

On behalf of the Unites States government, I'm commandeering your churro cart and all its cooking oil.

(groans)

Walter: Happy, make sure there's a vacuum seal.

Happy: That's the plan.

Tim: Ready.

Walter: Hit it, Happy.

Sylvester: How's it looking?

Happy: Flowing, but we got to drain the whole system.

And, with no coolant, this thing is red hot.

We've got less than... eight minutes until another Chernobyl.

Toby: You guys have been to Chernobyl.

If I remember correctly, no one wants to go back there.

Uh, Walter, how do we get this to the ocean in time?

Super Fun Guy.

Cabe.

(crowd cheering and applauding)

Cabe: Excuse me.

On behalf of the United States government, I'm commandeering this Super Fun Guy balloon!

Walter: Helium t*nk is set.

Isn't this just gonna cause an environmental disaster in the ocean?

No, not at all.

Every seven centimeters the reactor drops, the radioactivity of the waste falls by half.

You could be swimming ten feet away from it and get no exposure.

It'll be safe until the Department of Energy can pick it up over the next 24 hours.

Can you give me your cell phone?

Yeah.

I'm gonna put it inside so they can track our location exactly.

(quietly): Hey, Veronica.

Can I talk to you?

That phone's not Bluetooth compatible.

So, you pretended you were talking Cantonese when we came into that basement, didn't you?

I was just trying to impress my daughter.

And the... rental truck for just a few jackhammers?

How much did those sh**t think you had that you needed a truck?

You're gonna keep me on my toes, aren't you?

Walter: Sly.

Give me the numbers?

We are in luck.

Wind speed is ten miles per hour due west.

You need to puncture the balloon at a 45-degree angle to give it some lift! Only... how are you going to puncture it?

Kid, it's probably a good thing you're not here to witness this.

What does that mean?

Super Fun Guy is gonna take it in the tokus.

All right.

(expelling gas)

Walter: Stand by, Cabe.

Fire!

(expelling gas)

Sylvester: I'm watching on the satellite now...

There is a superhero-shaped object heading towards the Pacific.

I think that's the one.

The compressed air is expelling with enough force to have Super Fun Guy traveling at a rate of 80 miles per hour.

That gives us a splashdown time of two minutes and 15 seconds!

(claps)

We did it! We're safe!

Whoo! Yes!

Most excellent result.

It's been a long day.

Let's go eat some bird.

I knew this turkey wouldn't make it.

(chuckles) Ah, it's okay, babe.

Maybe, uh... Kovelsky's is open.

Kovelsky's for Thanksgiving dinner?

(door opens)

Why not?

I thought that turkey would be dry.

♪ ♪

What are you doing here?

I figured with all the time spent out of the office, that dinner would be a bust, so I thought I'd help out with some Chinese food, you know? As a...

As a thank you.

Chinese for Thanksgiving?

Let's do it!

Thank you.

Thanks.

Uh...

Well, okay, then, uh, have a... a nice night.

You're not gonna just let her go?

Ralph: Grandma?

You're not gonna ice your own mom on Thanksgiving.

I have no relationship with her. It's uncomfortable...

Right now everyone in America is getting together and having an uncomfortable family dinner.

That's what you do on Thanksgiving.

Now, come on, kid.

You're better than this.

Would you like to meet your grandson?

I'd like that very much.

Paige: Ralph.

(exhales)

Ralph.

It's a true pleasure.

(door opens)

Ms. Jones?

Can I help you with something?

Oh, your team of, um, wizards... (chuckles) left their sign-up sheets at the market.

Not all the signatures yet, but so close.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

They worked so hard, got some melons thrown at them, so... wanted to return it.

Okay. Appreciate it.

Would you... would you like some Chinese?

Oh, I can't.

On my way to my sister's for Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay, well.

Have a nice holiday.

You, too.

Putz.

Huh?

Why don't you ask her out?

She's at least ten years younger than me.

Everyone's at least ten years younger than you.

Cabe, she came here on Thanksgiving to give you something she could've given you next week.

As gross as it sounds, she's warm for your form.

Great work, Casanova.

(inhales)

The hell are you wearing?

This is my campaign cape.

I'm trying it out.

Cabe: "Don't be a clod, vote for Dodd."

That sucks. It should be: "Sly's your guy."

Now lose the cape.

I'm your campaign manager now.

What? Why?

'Cause I care about you, kid.

Ooh!

(indistinct chatter)

Oh. Walter, can... you and my mom grab the plates and set the table?

Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Yeah.

She's more than just a "top notch" team member to you, isn't she?

Hmm?

I'm a con woman.

I read people.

I tried with Paige, and I failed.

It's a non-issue.

She's with Tim.

For now.

Walter, despite my issues with Paige, I want what's best for my daughter, and from what I can tell, that's you.

So... I'm gonna help you get her back.

♪ ♪