03x11 - Wreck the Halls

[bunniefuu]

Walter: Previously on Scorpion...

Tim, you were a real credit to the team today.

I learned I can be an ass, and I'll try not to be one in the future.

Thank you.

Do any of you have good Christmas memories?

Uh, try foster home Christmas. They'd send me back to the state a week earlier so they wouldn't have to get me a present.

Well, I am running for the 16th District alderman of West Altadenia in the local upcoming election.

I hope I can count on your vote.

That was my old commander.

He needs a new head of security.

In Amman.

Jordan? That's... way out of town.

I think it's about time I have a talk with Cabe about making my position here permanent.

That's great news.

Conning Paige may have been an efficient way to impress her, but it's not the honest way.

Well, for the record, this makes me want you to end up with her even more.

You're a really good man, Walter, and I wish you luck, 'cause... that guy's planting roots.

♪ ♪

Guys, we're here! We need to get going if we're gonna b*at Christmas Eve traffic and make good time to the cabin.

The car's pretty full, but there's room for one more.

Toby: Oh, I'll ride with you!

Fine, but no scrooging.

I know how much you hate the holidays, but really...

Wow. Did three ghosts visit you in the night and show you the error of your ways?

You gonna toss me a coin, send me to buy a goose?

Take my bag to the car, wise guy.

I like packing. It's like Tetris.

Let me guess, Tetris comparison was your idea?

Handling geniuses is literally my job description.

Walter: Someone mention Tetris? You know, the geometrical construct of that game has applications in Computational Complexity Theory.

Interesting. Why don't you take your bag and... go play it with Ralph?

Excellent idea.

You're good at your job.

(quietly): What's in the box?

Check out this ghost of Christmas past.

Sparkling Mike.

A real robot with 178 tiny gears and moving parts.

This is all Happy wanted for Christmas when she was four years old.

You know what she got from the group home?

A promotional bank calendar.

That when her Christmas issues started?

Yep.

And they all end today.

I spent a lot of time and money finding this thing and having it restored, Paige.

When Happy sees it, her tiny heart is gonna grow three sizes that day.

This... is going to be the perfect Quintis Christmas.

She's gonna love it. She better.

That's the Christmas spirit! Happy, uh, throws “attaboys” around like manhole covers.

I wrote her a proposal song. I am planning a nice wedding.

I'm a darn good fiancé.

Little appreciation once in a while, all I need.

Good luck with that.

“Paige”

“Give this gift to Ralph with my love. Business to take care of. Back in a few days. Mom.”

(door opens)

Guess she's bailing on Christmas. Typical.

(door closes)

Paige: Oh.

Here, honey. It's from Grandma.

But you have to wait till tomorrow morning to open it.

It's a Jr. Spaceman Model Rocket.

Even with your IQ, how do you know that down to the brand name?

Because Grandma can't wrap presents.

Oh.

I don't need a toy rocket.

I built a real rocket with Walter.

Your grandmother doesn't know that, so play with it once and we'll... donate it to charity, deal?

(door opens)

Deal.

Very efficient moving and packing, Ralph.

The car is optimally packed.

You didn't sneak your laptop or your tablet in there, did you?

No matter how much I object, I'm honoring your request for an old-fashioned Christmas.

And besides, Cabe's friend's cabin has no cell reception.

Or Wi-Fi.

Walter...

I asked.

Every holiday we have turns into some kind of case or crisis.

This is a chance for us to unplug and have fun.

So, just try to enjoy it.

Oh, I won't just try, I will enjoy it.

Good.

You won't enjoy it.

Not even a little bit.

All right, time's wastin'.

Let's b*at the traffic.

Holy cow, am I seeing double?

Shut it. Glasses were a Christmas gift from Cabe.

They're sharp.

Actually, you know what, Tim? I have a Christmas present for you, too.

Follow me.

Really?

Now that Tim's a full-time member of Team Scorpion, he needs... his own workspace-- so here it is... his own office.

Oh, boy. It smells musky in here.

I don't know what to say, Walter.

(grunts): Well, you can say... hello to storage.

Built in.

That's the beauty of this desk-- its efficiency.

You've put him in the elevator?

It has a door.

Even I don't have a door.

You don't like it?

What? No. Uh... no, it's-it's... it's great, Walter, thank you so much.

(clears throat)

Okay.

Let's hit the road.

What about Sylvester and Happy?

They'll meet us there.

Costume shop has a strict “no refunds” policy.

Costumes?

We had a deal. You said you'd help me campaign.

No. I held up my end.

Toby's present is done, but if you want it, you need to do what you promised.

Fine.

Oh-ho-ho!

Yes!

It will not take long.

We just need to distribute 300 campaign flyers.

(sighs): Ah...

The election will be here before we know it.

If anyone takes a picture of me in this getup, I'm gonna roast your chestnuts on an open fire.

Understood.

Not good.

♪ ♪

(hawk screeching)

Has anyone seen the matches?

Pilot light's out, and I got to have Christmas cookies baking when Happy gets here.

Perfect Christmas, Paige.

Right. Perfect Christmas.

Oh. Um... Tim, can you give Toby your lighter?

Uh, sure can.

Cool! What's that?

Uh, just a little something my buddies got me in basic training.

A gift for being first in his class.

Ralph: Walter, you were first in all your classes-- what did your classmates give you?

Wedgies.

Toby: Gonna get the tree from the car so it'll be up when Happy gets here-- it'll be the first thing she sees.

Absolutely not. No artificial trees.

I saw a handsaw on the porch.

I'm gonna cut down a tree, just like I did when I was a boy. Come on, Ralph.

Why me?

'Cause normal kid stuff is good for you.

You know what? I'll come, too.

I can show Ralph the orienteering skills he needs for his Forestry Braves merit badge.

I'll go, too.

Since when do you cut down trees?

I grew up on a farm where I cut down many trees.

I've seen photos. It was a dairy farm.

Not a lot of trees.

Yes.

Because I cut them all down.

(birds chirping, cawing)

Cool.

Want me to show you how to do it?

I assume it's a steady, circular application of force over the relatively small area presented by the Kn*fe's sharp blade.

(chuckles)

Yeah, well, there's a little bit more to it than that.

You got to rotate the apple in your right hand while pushing just under the skin with your left thumb.

That's what I said.

You want to give it a try, Ralph?

I-I don't know if Paige would want him to use a Kn*fe.

Cabe: Kids are coddled these days.

I was a lot younger than Ralph was when my grandpa gave me that pocketknife.

Tim: There you go, buddy.

You got it. Good job, Ralph.

The blade angle's acute. It's not... not obtuse...

Ah-ah-ah.

I'll tell you what, Nervous Nelly, why don't you and Tim go ahead, and when you find a good tree, you come back here, and Ralph and I'll have a snack.

Okay. Don't worry, when you get back, he'll have all his fingers.

Sylvester: Vote for Dodd. Vote for Dodd.

Sylvester Dodd for alderman.

Vote for Dodd?

Hey. (gasps)

Vote for Dodd.

Intimidating the electorate was not a part of the deal.

I can't take doing this much longer.

And speaking of our deal, where's my end of the bargain?

Okay. Here.

Toby's present.

Not as good as if you made it, but it works.

If I made it, Toby would have read me in an instant and knew I was up to something.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Okay, so we both want to get up to the cabin, right?

Let's buckle down and get these candy canes to the voters.

I'll go set up over there.

Dodd! Vote for Dodd!

Hey. You a registered voter?

Yeah.

Vote Dodd.

What about this one?

It looks a little underwhelming to me.

Speaking of which, I, um... got the feeling you were a little... underwhelmed with your new office.

Yeah. I mean, you don't think that desk is a little small?

It kind of felt like a dig at me.

Well, it's the only desk in... the garage.

If you want... a different one, I would be happy to order you a new one when we get back.

No problem at all.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, listen, Tim, we've had our challenges, but you-you and I are good now.

Huh?

Yeah, good.

I thought so, too-- I just want it to stay that way.

Absolutely.

Come on, I'm not who you think I am.

You guys are crazy. You know me.

Man 2: Yeah, you're the guy who double-crossed us.

Man 3: Start digging.

Please, I got a family.

It's Christmas.

Man 2: Well, it ain't gonna be a merry one.

Dig!

Tim: I don't think they're looking for buried treasure.

Walter: They're gonna k*ll that man.

Do something.

With what?

I didn't bring my service w*apon.

Neither did Cabe.

Why not?

Because you don't bring a g*n to Christmas weekend.

Well, we have until that man finishes digging his own grave to save him.

Okay, now, hold on just a second, we don't go out there and risk our lives until we know who we're saving, okay?

He could be a bad guy, too.

Walter: Maybe...

But I did hear “wife and kids” and he looks scared to death, so... prudence dictates that we should extricate him from the situation and then figure out who he is. Yes?

(whispers): Yes?

Okay. Okay.

Tim: He looks like he can handle himself.

Be three versus three.

We need a distraction.

Give me your bag.

Give me your bag.

Okay.

(unzips bag)

Shh, shh...

Bug spray.

Give me your lighter.

Great.

♪ ♪

Once the flame melts through the plastic, gets to the gas inside...

Kaboom. I get it. How long?

Uh, I estimate about 136 seconds.

(grunts) Guys, watch him.

I got to use a tree.

Tim: Okay. Then we'll flank 'em. I'll go left, you go right.

When the expl*si*n happens, we each take the guy closest to us.

Hopefully the guy with the shovel can handle his own.

Swing for the liver? Like in Ireland?

No. Forget the liver. Hit him in the head... with this.

Geological Impact Amplifier.

Eh, that could work.

So long as our victim doesn't do anything stupid in the next 1.4 minutes.

Okay. Let's go, let's go.

Uh-oh. Wait.

What? What?

He's about to do something stupid.

(grunting)

That was a g*nsh*t.

♪ ♪

Hey, wait. Walter, what the hell are you doing?

Walter: Hey, hey! Over here! This way!

We can get you out of here!

(g*nsh*t)

(grunts)

Come on, come on, come on.

Who the hell are you guys?

Homeland Security.

(grumbles)

Man: You here for me?

No. We're here for a Christmas tree.

Walt, when is this can gonna blow?

I suggest we run.

I suggest you follow.

(grunting)

(groaning) We can't stop!

He can't run. He's too injured.

Well, any second, a man with a g*n is gonna come right through here.

(screams, grunts)

Sorry about your lighter.

Let's go!

(grunting)

(exhaling)

♪ Scorpion 3x11 ♪
Wreck the Halls
Original Air Date on December 19, 2016

That detonation sounded like compressed gas.

Bet it was Tim's bug spray.

Paige is gonna be really pissed.

She just wanted to have a normal holiday.

Over there!

Cabe: Walter!

Come on, Ralph.

(grunts)

What's going on?

Some guys tried to put this man down for a long winter's nap.

Sam Roberts. Undercover A*F.

A*F?

(grunts)

You know ASAC Lindsay Evans out of the L.A. Field Division?

I know ASAC Lisa Evans.

Short. Red-head. Tough as nails.

Guess you pass the test.

Cabe Gallo, Homeland.

(groans)

Tim: Okay.

b*llet hit your scapula.

Probably broke the bone.

The adrenaline's wearing off, so you're probably feeling it more now.

No kidding.

Hey, Ralph, give me your scarf.

Hey, Sam. I'm gonna make a sling.

Okay? I'm gonna immobilize it.

I assume you were undercover and got made?

I was just trying to call my kid at Christmas, man.

I screwed up.

Walter: Who are they?

Gunrunners.

Serious bad guys.

He's right. The guy we hit with the expl*si*n is probably only just stunned.

He and the others will regroup soon.

All right.

Sam's hurt pretty bad.

We're not gonna be able to make great time.

Better get a move on, now, get back to the cabin before they move on us.

Let's go.

Cabe: Come on, Ralph.

♪ ♪

You know there's no way we can eat all these cookies, right?

It's not about eating them, it's about smelling them.

The olfactory bulb is closely connected to the hippocampus, which controls emotions.

Happy's perfect Christmas starts with a snoot full of cookie scent the second she comes in the door.

So, Toby, while we have “nine to 11 minutes or until golden brown,”

I'd like to ask you a... confidential question about something.

The little desk.

It was weird, right?

I mean, I-I thought he and Tim were getting along after we got back from Ireland.

I thought your plan was working.

Well, my plan was a short-term fix.

I assumed Tim would be going back to the SEALs, and now that's not an option, so it changes things.

How?

Even if “Wally and Timbo” become BFF's forever there's no getting around the fact that Scorpion is Walter's team.

He's not giving up control.

And Cabe is Scorpion's Homeland handler.

He's not stepping down, so... there is no leadership position to be had for your Bo-hunk.

He's happy with his role.

He... He turned down a head of security job with a private contractor.

Tim is a leader.

He took the little desk for you, Paige.

No matter how you slice it, Tim Armstrong just ain't a little desk guy.

(oven door closes)

♪ ♪

I hit the bastard, so they'll be moving slow.

Yeah. Who were the other guys?

I don't know. We'll find out when we track 'em down.

Go cover the car in case they circle back, try and steal it.

I'll keep my walkie on.

(knocking on door)

Coming!

Santa?

Smells like cookies.

If you want to keep breathing, you'll forget you ever saw this.

Okay. Um...

But maybe... save the costume for the honeymoon.

Really? This does it for you?

I'm as surprised as you are.

Hey, merry Christmas, Happy.

Doesn't the cabin smell great?

I guess.

Paige: And how about the decorations?

Where's the Christmas tree?

See that?

They go out for a real tree instead of using a perfectly good plastic one, and now Happy's already disappointed in Christmas.

Relax. They're probably taking so long because they're having a really good time.

Tim: Come on!

(grunting, panting)

Sam: I got to take a breath.

It hurts so bad, I'm seeing stars.

We can't afford to wait.

He's right. The men after us have g*ns and a faster rate of speed.

We're about a half a mile from the cabin.

I was taking notes of natural markers when we were walking out.

Tim taught me how.

Sam: Less than a mile?

Okay. I can do that. I just, I need... I need a minute.

Fine. Then we got to move.

I can almost feel those guys gaining on us.

(exhales)

Are you crazy?

You can't keep a gas can by an open flame!

Would you relax, Sly?

I just needed the gas to give this blaze a little Christmas goose.

(panting): I've checked every direction.

Ground's too hard for footprints; they could be anywhere...

Yeah, but why don't we start there.

Davis, I think I found 'em.

Guys, that might be a problem.

That's coming from our cabin.

If we can see, so can the gunrunners.

All right, Sam.

Your minute's up. Let's move!

Let's go...

Come on, Ralph.

Let's go!

Come on.

Is there a fireplace screen or something to catch the embers?

No screen.

Happy and I are gonna bunk down in front of this hearth, and snuggle up in the warmth of an absolutely perfect Christmas.

(door slams)

Doc!

We got a g*nsh*t wound!

That was fast.

Are you okay?

There's bad guys out there.

Bad guys?

Toby: Mind telling me who I'm treating?

A*F Agent Sam Roberts.

I'm guessing only two of the three gunrunners followed us.

Smart move would be to leave one back at the car in case we double back to try and steal it.

Gunrunners?

If they saw the smoke, they'd know someone's up here.

I knew the fire was a bad idea.

We have to hit the road.

The guy at the car is likely gonna come check right now!

Too late. He's already here.

♪ ♪

He only saw me. Maybe I can convince him I'm alone, get him to leave?

Unlikely.

Agreed.

This cabin is the only place around here for miles.

It's a good bet that the gunrunners will surmise it's where we came from.

And they'll be able to follow the trail we left.

We were worried about speed, not stealth.

We need to act while we have the numbers on our side.

Guy out there has a g*n. We don't.

He's right. One man, many b*ll*ts.

I don't like that math.

This is gonna get ugly.

Maybe not. Happy, Sly, Toby, take Sam and Ralph down to the cellar.

What are you gonna do?

It's not what I'm gonna do, it's what you're gonna do.

♪ ♪

Oh...

Excuse me, ma'am. I was... out hunting and my dog ran off.

You haven't seen an old beagle around here have you?

Oh, uh... No. I haven't seen a dog, but maybe my friend has.

W-Why don't you come in and we'll ask her?

Uh, we have way too many Christmas cookies if you... if you want some.

♪ ♪

Actually, I think I just heard my dog.

Thank you so much for your time.

Maybe he bought it.

I don't think so.

He saw my government plates.

We need to get the others and head out the back right now.

That's a no-go.

There are three of them with g*ns now, they're just gonna come in here sh**ting!

Cabe: No they won't.

At least not yet.

They saw three vehicles parked out there, one with government plates.

They don't know who's inside here.

They don't know how much firepower we have.

Well, they're probably on their walkie-talkies, calling in backup.

With no service, we can't call for help ourselves.

Actually, I think I know a way.

Did, uh... anyone bring their cell phone here?

(clears throat)

¿Comprende “no servicio”?

No cell tower service, but if we use the limited two-way radio from the phone, plus some parts from the cabin's weather alert radio...

We can find and jump onto the bad guys' walkie-talkie signal.

Should have more than enough range to reach the sheriff's station.

Okay, I got it, but in order for this to work, we also need a computer.

Well, we had our strict no-tech policy on this trip.

Did anyone cheat?

Bring their gear?

So, no computers.

Not exactly.

Merry Christmas.

Yes, for you.

A laptop?

Walter, this is too much.

Guys, we got to hurry.

No worries. Okay.

A team photo?

You customized it for me.

Hey, there's Tim, behind that giant stack of folders.

I don't remember a giant stack of folders on your desk.

Is that Photoshopped?

Sly, open up the laptop's casing and then, Happy, build the radio device.

Cabe: Okay, remember, but we're gonna call on these guys' signal.

So, once they hear it, they're gonna know the cops are coming.

They're gonna rush the house.

So, we'll have to hold them off until help gets here.

Based on the distance to the sheriff department substation, I estimate 15 minutes before we get help.

How do we hold them off for 15 minutes when all we have is decorations, food and gifts?

Then we work with what we have.

We build traps and defend the cabin.

Okay, you heard my lady, let's Home Alone their asses.

All right, Cabe, this one's for you from me.

Might be able to use that.

And open this one from me to Sly.

I got him some neckties for the campaign.

They could come in handy.

(shouts)

That one's for Happy.

Off limits.

Seriously, just use Ralph's rocket.

He doesn't like this, anyway.

Fine.

Happy: Just hold those wires in place.

Thank you.

These pieces are small in these things.

Thanks for your help earlier.

I know you didn't like being in that silly getup.

You can put me in whatever you want, I'm always gonna be me.

I was an elf named Happy, but I was still a grump.

I don't know about you.

What do you mean?

On Thanksgiving, you were dressed as a Lord of the Rings reject.

Today, it was Santa Claus.

Now, Cabe wants to put you in a tie.

You should just be yourself.

Well, that's never really been easy for me.

Then you're not as smart as I thought you were.

Don't tell anyone I said this, but I like the way you are and I don't like anybody.

Just give other people a chance to get to know the real you.

They'll like you, too.

What the hell are you looking at?

It's finished.

Go tell the others.

Right.

Okay.

Just tie down that down a little tighter to the ski.

What's up with this coffee can on the stove?

Oh, melting salt.

Molten sodium chloride explodes when it hits cold water.

All right.

There you go.

It's very tight.

I think I ruined Sly's gift from Cabe.

Yeah, and, uh, speaking of gifts, I thought, uh, Secret Santa was limited to $50.

Yeah, I built the laptop.

Already had the parts and my labor was free.

Walter, cut the crap.

You're still in love with Paige.

That little desk, that's you trying to undermine me.

You know, I-I really thought that we were supposed to be friends now.

I should be angrier, but your attempts are... pretty pathetic.

Pathetic?

(chuckles)

Yeah.

You covered my face in a photo.

You don't think Paige is gonna see that?

Look, you might be a genius, Walter, but when it comes to her, you've got a lot to learn.

Just being honest with you.

Let me be honest with you.

We were never friends.

I was faking it for Paige.

Yeah, well, so was I.

I never liked you because you never made me feel welcome.

And Timbo is a stupid nickname.

You never felt welcome 'cause you never were.

I never asked for you.

Yeah, I know.

You've resented me the moment I walked through that door.

Yes, I resent you for disrupting my team.

By dating Paige?!

Yes, and I resent you for trying to bond with Ralph when we both know that I'm the one that he should be learning from, not you.

He's more like me.

(scoffs)

Yeah, well, um, guess what... pal?

Cabe already put in the paperwork with Homeland and I'm not going anywhere.

You will never be a real member of Scorpion.

Um...

Happy and Sylvester are ready to make that call.

Okay.

Cabe: Soon as we use this thing, the thugs'll hear it and all hell'll break loose.

Uh, so I just redressed Sam's wound. It's bad.

There's no way he can help us up here.

Paige, Ralph's being very brave.

Okay, here goes nothing.

That's the bad guy's walkie-talkie signal.

Connecting to police band shortwave now.

Okay, we're hot.

This is Cabe Gallo, Homeland agent, badge number 2835.

Need immediate assistance.

Officer down, civilians in danger.

At least three known sh**t.

Cabin at the top of Addison Road.

Deputy: Copy that, Agent Gallo.

Hold tight. Help is on the way.

It worked.

That's what might get us k*lled.

Uh, guys, I'm assuming it worked.

Why, you seeing 'em getting ready?

I saw the three guys we know of getting ready, and the two who just showed up.

All armed to the teeth.

Guess we're not the only ones who called for reinforcements.

(quietly): Around the front.

Bad guys coming!

Battle stations!

Okay. What are you doing?

Jamming their walkies with a little Christmas cheer so they can't coordinate their att*ck.

(rock music starts playing)

♪ It's gonna be a kick-ass Christmas ♪
♪ It's gonna be a kick-ass year ♪
♪ 'Cause Santa is comin', I can hear the sleigh hummin' ♪
♪ And the elves are gonna bring the beer ♪
♪ It's gonna be a kick-ass Christmas ♪
♪ It's gonna be a k*ller time ♪
♪ 'Cause we're gonna go under the mistletoe ♪

One down.

♪ And you'll be my Christmas valentine ♪
♪ Oy, oy, oy ♪
♪ You will get a very special ♪
♪ Feeling when you hear ♪
♪ Voices screaming “Chug that eggnog” ♪
♪ Grab a match and burn the Yule log ♪

(grunts) ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be a kick-ass Christmas ♪

Two down.

♪ It's gonna be a kick-ass year ♪
♪ 'Cause Blitzen is blitzed ♪

Aw...

♪ And Rudolph is ripped ♪
♪ And the Christmas band is here to play ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ It's gonna be a kick-ass Christmas ♪
♪ 'Cause you'll always be my kick-ass girl ♪

Aah!

♪ And far as I can see it'll be you and me ♪
♪ So it'll always be a kick-ass world ♪

Three down.

♪ It'll always be a kick-ass world ♪
♪ Joy and peace to the world ♪
♪ Joy and peace to the world ♪
♪ Joy and peace to the world ♪

(grunts)

Four down.

♪ Joy and peace to the world ♪
♪ Joy and peace to the world ♪

Come on out of there.

♪ Joy and peace to a kick-ass world ♪

Looks like you're one ski short.

♪ Oy! ♪

Five down.

With time to spare.

Get it?

Spare? Bowling ball?

We got it.

It was terrible.

Truly awful.

You ruined Christmas.

All right, they're all secure.

It's safe to bring up Ralph.

All right, you listen up.

You're all officially on the naughty list.

You move, you're gonna get worse than coal up your stockings.

Paige: Cabe!

The cellar's empty-- they're gone.

Ralph (in distance): Mom!

Mom!

Sam's taking Ralph!

(engine starts)

(engine starts)

I'm coming with you!

Why has the A*F guy taken Ralph?

Davis: A*F?

No, he's one of us. At least, he was until he stole our money.

Tim, you stay here and watch them.

Happy, you give him a hand.

Doc, you're with me.

This ends in a hostage situation, I might need your skills.

Copy that.

Any of you feel froggy, before you jump, think about this: I'm a pissed-off ex-Navy SEAL, and even I'm scared of her.

Paige:

How did this happen?

Sam is a gunrunner.

He stole money from the rest of the crew and they were gonna k*ll him for it.

No, I get that part.

I mean how did we get tricked?

When Sam realized that Walter and Tim were with Homeland he made up a story to keep from getting arrested.

And then he knew someone I know at the A*F, so I believed him.

Of course. If he's been busted for running g*ns, he would know people at the A*F.

How did Toby miss this?

He's a human lie detector.

You guys told me Sam was A*F, not Sam himself.

You believed him, so you weren't lying.

There was nothing for me to read.

And Sam's deception markers could have easily been masked by the intense pain of his injury.

Injury is nothing compared to what I'll do to him when we catch him.

(tires screeching)

Sam: Sit down, kid.

(groans)

Toby:

We can't let Sam get away.

Hostages don't fare well once they've outlived their usefulness.

I know the stats, Doc.

We need an idea.

Holy stowaways!

There's Ralph!

Oh, my God, Ralph!

He jimmied the trunk with my Kn*fe.

Smart boy. He knows there's only one way we can stop that car, and if he's in a small, enclosed space, he significantly reduces his chances of injury.

Cabe, drive Sam off the side road coming up.

Copy that.

(tires screeching)

(frustrated grunt)

Okay, very shortly, you're going to see something that's going to frighten you.

I'm already frightened.

Sam is gonna barrel toward a log he was sitting on earlier.

Sam won't remember where it was.

He has 110 IQ, tops.

What?

No. Ralph is in the trunk.

Exactly.

If he hits it, the front of the car will take the bulk of the force-- he'll be okay.

When?

Right around this turn.

Ralph, close the trunk.

Hold on.

Ralph!

Stay back, I got a hostage!

(police siren wailing)

Mom!

(sirens approaching)

On the ground, or I'm gonna put a slug in your other shoulder!

On the ground!

(amped-up version of Jingle Bells playing)

♪ ♪

On second thought, artificial trees aren't so bad.

You okay, Ralph?

I'm fine.

Good thing I had Cabe's pocket Kn*fe with me.

Speaking of which...

♪ It was December 24th on Hollis Ave. in the dark... ♪

Here.

♪ When I see a man chilling with his dog in the park ♪
♪ I approached him very slowly with my heart full of fear ♪
♪ Looked at his dog oh, my God, an ill reindeer ♪

Merry Christmas, pal.

Really?

No, not really.

He cannot have a Kn*fe, he's 12.

I got that Kn*fe when I was younger than Ralph.

He's a lot more capable than I was.

Look how he handled himself today.

My grandpa gave it to me.

I wanted to pass it on to my grandson someday.

♪ Enough to buy a boat and matching car with ease ♪
♪ But I'd never steal from Santa... ♪

May I?

Okay.

♪ But when I got home I bugged, 'cause under the tree ♪
♪ Was a letter from Santa and the dough was for me... ♪

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Is that Sparkling Mike?

Used to be.

Is it for me?

I can't believe you tracked down all these pieces.

Yeah, that's... that's exactly what I did.

I found all those parts so you could put it together yourself.

'Cause I know you like to build stuff.

Hell yeah, I do.

You're looking for an “attaboy,” aren't you?

You know, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

Do you have any idea how hard it was to track down all those pieces?

Look, I know you're the kind of guy that needs positive reinforcement, and I'm the kind of girl that can't give it to you.

Not in my nature.

My bad.

But this might help.

Merry Christmas.

A key fob.

Not just any key fob.

Every time you think I should give you a pat on the back, just hit that button and know that, even though I don't say it enough, I really mean it.

Happy (recorded voice): Attaboy!

Oh, and I kept the elf costume... for the honeymoon.

Attaboy!

Hey.

I was just thinking about putting up one of those kitten posters.

“Hang in there.”

(chuckles)

About that conversation I walked in on between you and Walter...

It was nothing, it was just some... headbutting.

It'll be fine.

Take the job your friend offered.

What? No.

It's in the Middle East.

I know.

But you'll be heading up a team, protecting people, rebuilding infrastructure...

It's important work.

You'll be in a leadership role.

You're just not a little desk guy.

I guess I'm not.

Besides, you said it's just for eight months of training, and then back to head up the west coast office.

Yeah.

(chuckles)

I want to ask you to come with me so bad.

But where I'm going... is no place for Ralph.

And I might not be a genius, but...

I know that I'm crazy about that kid, and the best place for him to be is here, with Scorpion.

So you and I will Skype every day, and we will make it work.

We'll definitely make it work.

(chuckles)

And I don't actually have to leave the country until after the holidays, so we still have New Year's.

And tomorrow, I can come by the house, we can do Christmas morning with Ralph.

Does that sound good?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Man, I am b*at.

Yeah, me, too.

And I have to stay up wrapping Ralph's gifts.

Oh.

Well, how 'bout this?

I will stay up with you and help you wrap 'em.

I would love that.

Okay. I'll get my things.

(”Christmas All Over the World” by Tim McGraw fades up)

♪ In the desert they're hanging ♪
♪ Christmas lights ♪

You sure about this?

I've never been more sure about anything in my life.

I'm just relieved that Paige is 100% onboard.

It's been a pleasure, sir.

Toby: Tim.

We need to talk.

Happy: Paige told us you're leaving.

Yeah.

It's a great opportunity and Paige and I both know it's where I should be.

You know, Tim, um, we geniuses are a tricky breed.

Hard people to get along with.

We can be a little moody.

Neurotic.

Condescending, but you were a team player.

You put yourself in danger and, uh, you saved my life when Mark Collins kidnapped me.

And you were still a jerk to him.

I was still a jerk to you, but bottom line, we're...

We're glad we got to know you. (chuckles)

Me, too.

It's been... educational.

(chuckles)

♪ The joy, the joy, the joy ♪

Oh. Okay.

(laughing)

Guys, do you mind if I have a word with Tim?

♪ It's Christmastime ♪
♪ All over the world ♪
♪ ♪

This is not necessary.

We had an argument, it was heated.

I'm not used to emotional outbursts.

I-I didn't know how to handle it.

Uh, I'm-I'm not... equipped for this type of thing, but I'm trying.

I know.

I can see you trying.

So let me keep trying.

Listen, I know I'm not perfect, Tim, but I-I'm not the type of person who wants to drive away people who are hardworking, who give their best efforts.

No.

Walter, you didn't drive me away.

I made this choice on my own.

But the truth is, Scorpion... it's your team and it should remain your team.

And I'll tell you, it's a team I always will be proud to have been a part of.

Be well, Walter.

♪ ♪

We're ready.

Yeah.

Have a good night, Walter.

♪ The bells, the bells are ringing ♪
♪ The joy, the joy, the joy ♪
♪ They're bringing ♪
♪ The bells, the bells, the bells ♪
♪ Are ringing ♪

Before you say anything, I didn't want this.

That's irrelevant.

'Cause Paige thinks you did.

So no matter how calmly she's taking it right now, she is gonna blame you.

I have a feeling you're in for a seriously unhappy New Year.

Eggnog?

♪ It's Christmastime ♪
♪ All over the world ♪
♪ All over the world. ♪