03x07 - Er du h*m*?

[bunniefuu]

From an evolutionary standpoint, h*m* is a genetic dead end.

I...

Have told Sonja about you.

We've decided to take a break.

There were people, over the years, who have chosen to withstand harassment.

People who have been beaten and k*lled.

And that's not because they really want to be different.

But because they would rather die, than to pretend to be someone they're not.

(Hi. It was nice seeing you as well. I don't know, but things might have gone a little too quickly... I know it's my fault, but I need time, sorry.)

You know that thing about me being a little weird lately...?

It's because of a person I like.

It's not a girl.

What's his name?

Even.

Like, he's got to break up with his girlfriend.

That's Alex.

Wow. He's got a guitar and stuff.

Can you swipe right, don't click on the...

He looks cool, though.

The point is that you can pick for yourself, when you get Tinder You can log on, uh...

Excuse me...?

Meet a lot of nice people And do what you want with them.

I'm not getting Tinder. No.

Why not?

Why not? Isn't that quite obvious?

When I've kind of got a guy already.

Yeah, but he lives in London, Noora.

Now you're just being mean.

No, I just mean that...

You're the kind of person who always does the right thing...

Who always has to be so good.

Can't you just jump into it?

You know...

No.

Do like this, "wuh".

Wuh, yeah. Exactly.

Now I feel like you're on the...

Yes, ok...

Noora!

Bye, Eskild!

Love you!

Difficult! Jesus Christ.

Everyone knows that William isn't going to come.

Jesus...

Eskild?

Can I ask you a question?

Isak, seriously! Now...

Yes, I accept your apology.

It's okay. I mean...

For the last time, I'm not mad at you.

Okay? I...

I understand why you said what you said, and now I'm done with it.

So now you don't have to Walk around here like a...

You're driving me crazy!

That's not it. I seriously need an advice...

From me?

Okay, you want an advice from 'moi'?

Yes.

You want that?

Because...

You trust me?

And look up to me?

Yes.

Because I'm your guru?

Sure.

Say it. Say that 'Eskild is my guru.'

f*ck this.

Say it! 'Eskild...'

No. No, just forget about it.

Fine, fine, fine. Fine, Isak. Okay.

What...

What is it you're wondering?

You...

You know that guy, Even?

Yup. What about him?

Nah, we had a thing, you know...

And he said that he would break up with his girlfriend.

And then suddenly He says that things happened too fast And...

Then he's back together with his girlfriend.

And then...

And then a while after that he gives me this drawing.

And I'm thinking, "Okay, cool," and I send him a message thanking him for the drawing.

But then he doesn't answer...

But he has a girlfriend?

Yeah.

Okay. For how long have they been together?

For about four years.

Okay?

That's not good, or?

I mean, yeah. Or, I don't know, how...

How honest would you like me to be?

Not too honest, maybe.

No, you know what, f*ck it. Just say it like it is.

Yeah, I mean. I... I mean, I know a lot of... guys in heterosexual relationships who sleep with guys.

That's pretty normal, but... not a lot of guys leave their girlfriends to be together... I think... Or, I mean...

It's...

Or they might, I mean it's just my advice. That's just my opinion.

My... My guru-advising.

Kinda. And I'm not Buddha.

Or...

I'm not God. Kinda, or...

So...

Was that helpful?

Okay, Sana.

What is excretion? Task fifteen.

A, excretion of nitrogenous waste.

B, excretion of carbon dioxide.

C, excretion of excess matters in the body, or...

D, excretion of wastes.

Yes, it's that one!

I read it last week.

What, D?

No, no, no. It's A.

A?

No!

It's A?

Where did you get D from?

Nitrogenous waste?

We haven't read about that.

Nitrogenous waste...

Well, we definitely haven't read about excretion of waste from their organs.

That doesn't even make sense.

What do you mean, it doesn't make sense?

This is what we've covered in class.

Organs don't excrete waste?

Why not?

Anyway, it's not A.

That has nothing to do with anything.

Nitrogen?

Don't joke around with me right now.

It's A.

Jesus Christ. Why are we having this discussion?

Just... Just trust me, Sana.

I trust myself, and it's A.

Like, this is my subject. I know what I'm doing.

It's my subject as well.

Can you just circle A? It is A!

Let's just Google it.

I'm not being bothered by your stubbornness.

If you're so insecure that you have to Google it, go ahead.

But I know that I'm right, and I know that it's A.

I'm not insecure, I know that I'm right as well.

But I'm not going to answer A on it.

So... Yeah. What are we going to do?

Hello?

Excuse me?

Yes, Sana?

What do we do if we can't agree on an answer?

Then you'll circle both alternatives.

And then write your names next to the one you think is the correct one.

Easy.

D, Isak.

A, what's your name again?

What's the next question?

How does...

The transportation take place in animals...

Without a circulatory system?

Can all duos please write their names at the top of their paper?

I'll do it.

(I hope you don't find this question to be rude, but is it true that you're gay?)

(Where did you hear that?)

(It was just somebody saying that you and that Even guy from third year had a thing?)

(Who said it?)

(Someone in first year who'd heard it from Emma who knows his girlfriend.)

(Sorry if it's not true.)

(But it's really cool if you are.)

(I love gays!)

Where IKEA get all of the names for their furniture from.

If they, like, just go to a Swedish name registry and take some from there?

Hi, Isak.

Who is she?

I don't know.

Hey, what's up?

'Sup?

What's this?

I think that guy's found his song.

I have. f*ck, it's so nice.

Ey, what's up?

Nah, not much.

Isak said he'll be hosting a pre-drink on Friday.

I am with you, man. I'm in!

You'll join, right?

Yeah. Yeah, of course we're in.

I'm not going to get violent again.

Okay, that's chill.

Oh! Did you hear the rumor that you guys fought at Emma's party because Isak is gay?

What? No?

Yup. It's hilarious! Haven't you heard?

What did you say we fought about?

That he's gay.

Yeah, why would we fight about that?

You were a Muslim.

I don't f*cking know.

I'm not even a Muslim?

I know, it's f*cking hilarious!

Is it hilarious that the entire school thinks I'm a h*m*?

h*m*?

(Magnus making fun of Mahdi's pronunciation.)

h*m*.

Yeah, but...

Yeah, okay. But that's not hilarious...

Like, is that funny?

No... But it's hilarious that people think that Isak is gay!

You did tell them that it's bullshit?

I said they should watch out, 'cause you would 'jihad' the entire school, bro.

Just kidding. I told them Isak was going to a family dinner.

That you fought because...

We didn't even fight?!

Relax, man. It's okay. It's only a rumor, okay?

Chill.

Uh, guys...

Do you remember...

Do you remember when we were watching those girls dance?

Bro, every time I close my eyes the only thing I see are those girls.

f*ck, they were hot.

Yeah, but do you remember...

That a guy came up to us?

That gay guy?

Why do you think he's gay?

You're the one who said he was gay?

No, no! Not him, not him. I'm talking about the other guy who came over.

Yeah, maybe...?

The guy who...

The guy who said I'd forgotten my hat in the cafeteria.

Yeah, I think I remember him.

Yeah.

What about him?

We've had a thing.

A thing?

A thing.

The f*ck, are you gay?

I'm not gay.

Well, maybe I'm a little gay, but It's not as though... Yeah.

I'm not keen on you guys, for example.

It's not as though I'm keen on all guys all the time.

But... You hook up with chicks every weekend?

Yeah, but maybe he's pansexual.

What's pansexual?

It's when you like both.

That's bisexual?

Yeah. I think that's bisexual.

Yeah, but like, pansexual is also that you like both.

What the f*ck is the difference between pansexual and bisexual?

There's no difference.

Well, anyway... Pansexual, bisexual, gay or not.

He's said he'll host on Friday.

Sweet.

Maybe we'll get some chicks for once, seeing as you suddenly became a f*g.

Doesn't mean you've got any more game, though.

Huh?

(1: Hi Even. Thanks for the drawing. It was nice. When did you actually manage to put it in my jacket?)

(2: Meanwhile, in another universe: Glad you liked it. Put it there when you had P.E. Miss you.)

You don't get in the mood.

No, you don't... Because, like, there are ten people in a huge apartment And then they play 'Russ' music to get the mood going.

'Russ' music is f*cking pumped!

When you don't get in the mood and so you're like, "Let's put on some 'Russ' music."

They do that at the parties I go to.

The girls go crazy!

But it's so often that it doesn't fit to play 'Russ' music where they play 'Russ' music, all the time.

You get that, right?

Yeah, okay. Fine. So what do you wanna listen to then?

I don't know, but if I go to parties I'm keen on listening to some old-school hip hop, some 90's sh*t.

Nate Dogg.

Yeah, Nate Dogg!

He's sick.

Who's Nate Dogg?

Who's Nate Dogg?

Man, are you serious?

I haven't heard of Nate Dogg.

Uh, do you know who Snoop Dogg is?

I know who Snoop Dogg is!

What's up, man?

Nothing, I guess.

Nothing?

Anything new with that guy Even, or what?

No.

Well, I got a new drawing.

A new draw...

What's his deal?

I don't know. He's...

Yeah, all over the place.

What are you talking about?

Are you talking about Even?

What's going on between the two of you, really?

There's nothing going on...

He's got a girlfriend.

Oh, he's pansexual as well?

I don't know.

Just one thing...

I've been thinking about something, sorry if it's rude, but...

Gays, when they have sex...

Who's the man and who's the woman?

Dude...

What?!

What?

Funny you should ask, because I was going to ask you the same thing for when you have sex.

Who's the man and who's the woman?

But then I remembered that you don't have sex!

Holy f*ck.

Wow. Where did that come from?

That's a s*ab in the heart.

It wasn't that bad of a question, was it?

I was just seriously wondering, but okay...

Okay, okay. But honestly...

I feel like you're letting him play you, kinda.

Play me?

That like, he keeps you going.

And then nothing happens.

And he's still together with that chick.

Yeah.

But I can't control what he does.

Yes, you can! If you're like...

Completely straight-up, send him a text and say, "Hey dude, stop what you're doing!"

"Yo dude, stop what you're doing!"?

Yeah. Or, maybe not that, but...

Nah, that's not like me.

No, but like...

Okay, "Text me..."

"Stop texting me. Call me when you've broken up with your girlfriend."

Straight-up.

That's what works.

And if he's interested, he's gonna get stressed out. We've all been there.

Yeah, exactly!

Like, if you're fooling around with a girl, or you're just keen on hooking up with her But you're not keen on being in a relationship with her But like, she texts you, "What's up? Let's meet, I'm tired of you not taking this seriously."

Then you become serious right away.

Yeah! And you get really shocked.

Yeah, you get shocked. And you don't f*ck with her after that.

It's worse when she doesn't answer you when you text her.

When it says like, (Hi, thanks for the drawing, but if...)

That they've seen your text like, an hour ago.

(you're not interested in something...)

Yeah, but only sneaky people do that. (more, you can just let it be. Call me when you've broken up with your girlfriend.)

Girls do it all the time with me.

Like, girls?

Maybe you should start hitting on a different kind of girl.

I'm hitting on the best there is, though.

I did it.

I sent the text.

No way?!

That's not too bad.

Cheers!

Brothers.

That really surprised me.

Is it him?

(What are you doing now?)

He answered.

(Can we talk?)

"What are you doing now? Can we talk?"

Seriously?

What should I reply?

Call him.

No, don't call him.

Write, uh... "Chilling at home."

"Chilling at home"?

Yeah, that's good. That's good.

"Chilling at home."

"Just call."

No! You want him to call, but like...

You have to write it as though you... don't want that? You get me?

So just write "chilling at home", and done.

"Chilling at home."

"Chilling at home", okay.

"Chilling at home", smiley?

No!

"Chilling at home", done.

No feelings.

Okay.

Completely... straight-up.

Chilling at home.

Yeah.

Sent.

He's going to call.

Check if there's a...

Bubble. If he's writing something.

No bubble.

He's not going to answer.

That's just the way he is.

Maybe he's at a place where he's, like, unable to talk right now.

Maybe...

The beer didn't taste good today.

What are you drinking?

Tuborg. In a bottle.

It tasted like plastic, or something.

Is it... Has there been too much yeast, or what?

Probably...

Oh, f*ck!

Yeah. Yo, yeast...!

This person I know, knows someone...

And he told me that someone had put yeast inside a carton of apple juice and put it in his locker at school, to make beer...?

At school?

Yeah?! Isn't that weird.

Huh?

It must have stunk like sh*t in that school.

That's what they said.

It smelled like sh*t!

He probably wanted to party at school.

What the f*ck, it must be completely...

Do you know him?

No.

It's a friend of a friend, like he said.

Yeah.

But... But, uh...

What's up? Did you invite someone?

No. You're the only friends I've got.

It's probably Eskild. He forgets his keys every f*cking day.

It's Even.

Huh?

It's Even?

Seriously? He's here?

I'm not f*cking around, it's Even.

Is it Even? Let's meet Even, you guys!

Yeah. Yeah, we gotta do that.

Yeah.

No!

Why can't we meet Even?

Seriously, I'm not f*cking around.

Out, out, out, out, out, out!

Why can't we meet Even?

Where are we supposed to go?

You can't meet Even, what are you talking about?

Do you have my phone?! I can't find it!

Your phone?! Why would I have your phone?!

Yeah, but where are we supposed to go?

Have the pre-drinks outside then, you do have a party to go to!

It's f*cking freezing!

Remember the alcohol!

No, you're going to bump into him. You'll go out the back door!

The shoes are on the other...

I'll get your shoes, fine!

Shoes?

Shoes?

Isak, I need the shoes now, buddy!

Get them, for fucks sake!

Yeah, yeah. That's fine.

They're not even my shoes!

You... You put on my shoe!

Come on, guys! The most important thing is that we're leaving!

Hey.

Hey.