02x14 - A Day in the Life

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "Dr. Ken". Aired: October 2015 - March 2017.*
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"Dr. Ken" chronicles the daily life of a brilliant physician who tries to balance his career with his family life, which can be difficult on both fronts, especially with having a therapist for a wife.
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02x14 - A Day in the Life

Post by bunniefuu »

So, you doing anything fun tonight?

I'm going to Eric's.

He's making dinner.

Ooh, is he a good cook?

Nope.

That's why I'm eating three tacos in the car on the way over there.

Hey, speaking of which, don't you usually eat lunch with Dr. Ken on Tuesdays and help him with his charting?

Not since Allison started working here.

Now they eat lunch and chart together.

It's adorable.

Thank you, Allison.

That lunch was off... the charts.

[Laughs]

Charting together. Double meaning.

That's why it's funny.

Pat: Listen up, people.

I just got off the phone with a producer from The Learning Network.

They're making a documentary series called "American Healthcare," and they want to film a typical day in an HMO as seen through the eyes of a doctor...

Oh, my God.

Highlighting the inner workings of managed care at Welltopia, and they've selected the doctor they intend to focus on.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

And it is our own Dr. Park.

Ohh, my God!

I said yes because, well, you know, Dr. Park always behaves as if he's on... some sort of a show, anyway.

And it's great exposure for Welltopia.

The director will be here first thing Monday with her film crew.

Oh, no, not Monday.

Why not Monday?

It's my birthday!

Ohh!

This is too much!

Bear in mind they will want to speak to the rest of us, as well.

Yeah, but I'm the lead. [Chuckles]

And who can blame them?

I'm a natural entertainer, [mumbling] unlike some people over here... [Chuckles] who gets a little stiff and awkward in front of the camera.

Oh, you should see our wedding video.

It was like I married the Tin Man.

[High-pitched voice] Oil can.

Oil can. [Clicks tongue]

I do!

It's a shame because what I was trying to say is, "I don't."

Anyway, since we all will be on camera, everyone needs to be at their best to provide top-notch care to our patients in a friendly and efficient environment.

So not a typical day at the HMO.

[Laughs] Using it! [Laughs]

Pat: You know, Welltopia's the number one HMO in the San Fernando Valley according to a recent survey.

Really?

Sure.

This is our friendly office manager Damona Watkins.

Excuse me! Hey!

Is that your Us Weekly?

Then how did it end up in your purse?!

Put it back!

Transition segue.

This is Clark.

Hi. Hi.

Uh, hi.

I'm, uh, Clark Leslie Beavers.

I've been Dr. Park's nurse for a long time.

And we are a fantastic team, never stepping on each other's toes...

Oh, hello.

I was just reading some thank-you letters from patients whose lives I've touched over the years.

Hi, I'm Amy Thompson, the director.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Are you ready to get started?

Oh, absolutely.

Um, oh, should I look down the barrel or camera left?

Actually, my profile's better here.

It hides the chins.

Oh, my, you're a whole thing, aren't you?

Why don't you just start by introducing yourself?

Okay.

And... action.

Hi, I'm Dr. Ken Park, family medicine physician.

I have about 1,000 patients in my practice, and I'm a partner here at Welltopia.

Oh, great.

Uh, why don't you tell us a little bit about your family?

Well, I've been in love with the same woman for over 20 years, and if my wife finds out, she'll k*ll me.

[Laughs] I'm just kidding.

No. We're happily married.

I mean, I have one beautiful child, and a son named Dave.

[Laughs] Kidding again.

He's adorable, too.

He's just a little condescending, that's all.

He makes me feel bad sometimes.

Okay. Um, I'm... I'm told your wife also works here as a psychiatrist?

[As Borat] My wife. She good.

Do you need a minute?

[Normal voice] Oh, no, no, uh, Borat?

Yeah, I-I've seen it.

I'm just confused as to why you're doing it.

I was just trying to thread my comedic point of view with this medical talking head.

And we'll be right back with "American Healthcare."

Uh, Dr. Park, you don't have to try so hard to force the narrative.

Just, you know, let it happen naturally.

Oh! And it's my birthday, yo! West Side! [Barks]

Okay, uh, I don't know what's going on with this West Side and this comedic point of view.

It's just...

Oh, sorry, I'm also a comedian.

Oh! So you're like Patch Adams!

No, I'm not a clown. [Chuckles]

Big difference. [Chuckles]

I was just pointing out that comedy is one of many things that makes me interesting.

Okay, uh, let's just take a-a little step back here, okay?

This is a 10-part series about all aspects of healthcare.

We shadowed an ER doctor.

We... we followed a Doctor Without Borders to Guatemala.

But we also would like to explore the role of the primary care provider.

You know, the first stop, the gatekeeper, the everyday side of medicine.

[Chuckles] Well, I got to say the way you described it makes what I do sound pretty dull.

No. Not dull. Everyday.

Sorry to disappoint, but if you're expecting everyday, you came to the wrong place.

West Side!

West Side of what? The Valley?

Uh, no, it... it's just a bit.

It's something I say.

[Mutters indistinctly]

It's gonna be a long day, Ben.

Mr. Sampson, are you sure you want to see a dermatologist?

Um, the mole is benign. [Chuckles]

I'd like to hear it from an expert.

Do you, uh, refer a lot of your patients to specialists?

Well...

Oh, my God, yes. Yeah.

Specialists like to call him Dr. Punt.

I do a lot more than just referrals.

I...

Oh, yeah. Refills, too.

Tons of them.

Blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication, all of your basic everyday medications.

Refill, refer, repeat.

Oh, my God, the three R's. [Chuckles]

Before you jump to any conclusions, we're primary care physicians.

We're the front line of medicine.

And I can assure you the front line is anything but mundane.

Can you validate my parking?

Yep.

I've been waiting an hour.

Yes, and I'm sorry, Mrs. Ashburn.

There's a glitch in the scheduling program.

I had double bookings all day.

I'll tell you what, you can keep that Us Weekly and pick up some In Touch's while you're at it.

[Sighs]

Hey! I didn't say nothing about Vogue!

Oh, so now you're gonna make me check your purse.

Is she chasing a patient?

Huh? No! No, no, no.

She wou... she... she wouldn't 'cause, you know, she's a...

Oh, Dr. Park!

Dr. Allison Park!

I'd love to ask you some questions.

Well... okay.

Um, well, you can, uh... You can look right at me instead of at the camera.

Okay.

Uh, how long have you been working at Welltopia?

[Shouting] Just a few months.

[Normal voice] Uh, what should I do with my hands?

Sh... should I...?

[Scoffs] No pockets.

Um...

I'll just put them here.

Oh, that feels strange. [Chuckles]

I'll just clap.

Uh, that... that's not good for sound.

Oh.

Hey, now! [Chuckles]

Are you stepping on my screen time?

[Grumbles indistinctly]

[Chuckles]

Well, while I have you both here, what's your favorite thing about working at Welltopia?

Working with Ken every day.

A sweet parking spot.

Oh!

I want to show you a picture. I have a picture.

[Laughs]

He's just excited you're here.

That and the fact that it's his birthday is over-stimulating him.

Amy: So, have things changed since Ken and Allison started working together?

For him?

Uh, no.

No, not for him.

And for you?

You know, I'm not gonna lie to you, Amy.

It has been an adjustment.

Um, see, I was... I was... I was like his work wife.

Um, and now that his actual wife is working here, it's just kind of... thrown off our rhythm.

Enough negativity.

Whoo. Aah!

It's, uh... It's Ken's birthday.

I made him his favorite cake... carrot.

I cannot wait to surprise him with it.

Oh, yeah, see, that's him.

He needs me.

[Quietly] Yeah.

Yeah, he needs me.

[Door closes]

That's me crushing it at the legendary Laugh Factory.

Ask anyone. I k*lled.

One of my proudest moments.

But then I realized what's better than k*lling?

Saving lives.

Tough decision, but I had to go lives over laughs.

And we'll be right back with "American Health..."

Please stop doing that.

Copy that. Reset. Back to one.

Dr. Park, your next patient is ready.

Oh, we'd love to film you with a patient, if we may.

Oh, absolutely. So, who do we have?

Sonja Miller.

Oh, for [bleep] sake!
Hey, Sonja.

I can't poop.

You mean you're constipated?

I ate 12 bran muffins, and nothing happened.

That's what happens when you don't take your thyroid medication.

I will prescribe you some stool softeners, but in the meantime, you've got to take your Synthroid every day.

No, I can't poop even when I'm taking my stupid Synthroid.

Um, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

I'm glad you caught it on camera.

Well, lab results don't lie.

Yeah, neither does my empty toilet.

Okay, your lab shows that you have an under-active thyroid, which means you're not taking your Synthroid like you should.

You're such a know-it all?

Make me me poop.

We will be calling you every day to make sure you're taking your stupid Synthroid.

Come back in two weeks, and I promise you'll be pooping like a champ.

Okay?

You're the worst doctor ever.

See you in two weeks.

Hi, Mom.

Would you mind just...?

I'm sorry.

Primary care is usually much more exciting.

It's okay. I told you we aren't looking for exciting.

Well, I am. It's just that today's a [bleep] show.

That's all.

Wait.

Wait, is that camera still on?

Pat: Damona.

You have been acting the grump all morning.

You better check yourself before you wreck, not only yourself, but this entire documentary.

I'm sorry.

Last night I saw a text on Eric's phone from his ex-girlfriend.

It said, "Thanks for the talk," and a whole bunch of XO's, XO's on it.

Ah. Ah, that's not so bad.

I once saw a text on my ex-wife's phone that said, "Thanks for not being pregnant."

[Both laugh]

Hey.

He, um... when I asked him about it, he got all dismissive and, you know, jerky and stuff, you know?

Aw, come here.

Sorry for acting like a baby.

Oh, yeah, come on. You're only human.

[Sniffles]

Yep. Patients.

Work. Work.

Now, what you saw was just a, uh...

That was just a friendly hug, 'cause, you know, Damona and I are... are just friends now.

So at some point, you were more than friends?

Yes.

Yes, but it was all fully documented with human resources from the intimacies all the way down to the zucchini muffin I would bring her every morning.

Well, is it hard to see her with someone else?

Nah, nah, nah.

No, no, I mean, it's...

I mean, it's hard to see anyone hurt her feelings.

You know, let's face it, men are idiots, right?

We never appreciate what we have when we have it.

Why don't we talk about something a little more pertinent like Welltopia's unrivaled Pap smear success rate?!

I wish you guys were here last week.

I had the most amazing case.

It started out as a simple hemorrhoid, and it snowballed into...

Hey! It's my kids! [Laughs]

This is the light of my life, Molly.

And what's your name again? [Chuckles]

How droll.

How long do we have to stay?

You can stay as long as you want.

So we can go?

[Laughs] She's funny.

Great, do a show about her, then.

How do you like having a doctor/comedian for a dad?

It's cool/exhausting.

So, who are your influences?

My influences?

As a documentarian.

Are you an Errol Morris fan?

Or do your tastes run more towards the Maysles Brothers?

Uh, they did, uh, "Grey Gardens," right?

And every other noteworthy documentary since the '60s, yeah.

Well, I'll just have to check out their full body of work.

Only if you're inspired by the medium you happen to work in.

Are we done here?

So I understand you volunteered here at Welltopia last fall.

Yeah, I'm doing everything I can to get into a good college.

Let's be honest. You got to play the game.

But I actually set up an appointment-reminder program, which really streamlined their scheduling.

It's nice to be able to leave your mark.

Molly.

[Quietly] That, uh, program you set up... it's a disaster.

[Mutters indistinctly]

[Chuckles nervously] Excuse me.

I'm about to punch this computer in the throat.

Here's the problem.

You can't ignore the update alerts.

You can always put this here, and done.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Thank you!

Oh, you saved my ass!

Well, it's just part of leaving my mark.

[Whispering] Psst. Amy.

Amy. Molly, move.

This is awesome.

This woman's in so much pain.

Mrs. Swenson's been coming to me for years.

Multiple medical problems... Osteoporosis, which led to debilitating kyphosis of her spine.

So treating of her pain is like solving a big, old, crooked jigsaw puzzle.

Hi, Mrs. Swenson.

How are you feeling?

You seem to be ambulating well. Walking.

Let's get you into the exam room.

Actually, I just need you to sign this DMV form to renew my handicapped placard.

That's it?

That's it.

So you sure there's nothing else I can do for you?

You can validate my parking.

I don't do that. [Chuckles]

'Cause he ran out of stickers.

Clark.

Amy: So, is being a doctor everything you thought it would be?

When I was a kid, I...

I always wanted to be Hawkeye Pierce from "M-A-S-H," you know?

He was, like, heroic, saving lives, funny.

But all this is [sighs]... makes me realize...

I-I don't know. I'm just a medical traffic cop.

You know, I fill out forms, I refill prescriptions, and when a case gets remotely interesting, I punt it to a specialist.

So, no, it's not how I pictured it.

Are you happy being a doctor?

Maybe not.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Dad ♪
♪ Happy birthday, Dr. Ken ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Damona: Yeah! Blow out the candles. I'm hungry.

Yay!

[Keyboard clacking]

[Sighs]

Hey.

Hey. What are you doing here?

[Clacking stops]

I want to apologize for last night.

Thanks.

Um, I was probably overreacting.

No, no, no, no.

Kelly was getting flirty with me, and instead of being honest with you about it, I made it seem like you were overreacting.

That's incredibly honest of you.

So were you... flirting with her?

Now, why would I do that when I have no interest in her and found someone so much better?

[Chuckles]

Do you want to come to my house and watch the Lakers game tonight?

Wait, I don't think the Lakers are playing tonight.

They're not.

[Laughs]

See you later.

[Knock on door]

You wanted to see me?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to step on your toes with the cake.

That's okay. I mean, you are his wife.

Here's the thing.

Ken wouldn't be able to get dressed and leave the house without me.

But when he gets here, he can't function without you, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.

Thank you for saying that.

And I appreciate you.

[Gasps] Oh, it's like we're sister wives!

[Laughs]

Yey!

I really need to talk to my wife.

Yeah, you should probably take this one.

Doing this documentary was a bad idea.

What do you mean?

I thought it would be my big moment, but instead it shined a light on how boring my job is.

Ken, I don't think the point...

They're using me in an episode about dull, everyday doctors.

I mean, this is why I want to do comedy... because this is so unsatisfying.

Look, it's been a tough day.

You wanted to prove how fascinating your life is, and in retrospect, it was probably too much.

No, this is a sign.

I should pursue comedy full-time.

You know, that rush of being on that stage...

I've tasted thug life, Allison.

I can't go back.

Dr. Ken, a patient collapsed in the waiting room.

He's not breathing.

[Female on PA system] Code blue, fifth floor waiting room. Code blue.

No pulse. He's not breathing.

Code blue.

V-Tach. Defibrillators.

[Monitor beeping] Clear.

[Defibrillator thuds]

One amp of epi.

Defibrillators.

[Monitor hums]

Clear.

[Defibrillator thuds]

Sinus rhythm.

He's got a pulse.

He's breathing.

EMTs are on their way.

Good job.

Yeah, you, too.

That was incredible.

Well, it was a team effort.

I mean, it was Clark. It was the whole team.

And, I mean, fortunately, the patient's in stable condition, and he's gonna make a full recovery.

I got to say this is the best birthday gift ever.

So earlier, you said you weren't happy being a doctor.

Right, I-I was frustrated.

I-I mean, just like any other job, I...

Sure, some days can be pretty routine, but every now and then, you get that reminder of why we're all here... it's to make a difference, and not just me... everyone.

Everyone here makes a difference, whether it's checking in a patient or assessing vitals or, you know, restoring a heartbeat.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Amy: So, are you happy being a doctor?

I'm exactly where I should be.
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