12x12 - Stuck in the Middle (With You)

[bunniefuu]

[ expl*si*n ]

I'm sorry. Who the hell are you?

Arthur Ketch. British Men of Letters.

Dean: Was that a grenade launcher?

Mr. ketch: Quite.

We're eager to collaborate.

But you haven't exactly seen us at our best.

[ Grunting ]

[ Screams ]

Sam: She tried to k*ll us.

And all you wanna do is help these American hunters to clear this country of monsters?

Mr. ketch: We can offer expertise, weaponry.

The toys are the fun part.

[ Grunts ]

So you're gonna pop Lucifer out of the President with that?

[ Groans ]

Rowena: We know you're pregnant.

Castiel: This is not a baby. This is the spawn of Lucifer.

I can't do it. I'm its mother.

Let me paint you a picture of a world where no one has to die because of the supernatural.

I'm listening.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

So...

Mmm.

[ Mug clatters ]

Tell me a story.

[ Toodlum Barker's “Lover Boy Vox” playing ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Mandy.

That short for Amanda?

Duh.

Yeah, I'll -- I'll go with the cheeseburger.

Wally: Oh, yeah.

Hey, what's the, uh, Wi-Fi password here?

Extra cheese.

No, no. Just, uh, as it is, is fine.

That's the password. “Extra cheese.”

You know what? That sounds good.

I'm gonna change mine to a cheeseburger as well.

Extra cheese. I wanna carbo-load.

Mandy: Cheese isn't a carb. Cheese isn't a carbohydrate.

Mnh. Well....

Man: Order up.

Steak and eggs. Bloody.

And how 'bout you, handsome?

Wally: What?

Um...uh... uh, Sunrise Special, please.

Nice.

Oh, dude, she is into you.

Mm-hmm.

Dean...

No, this is good. We've been looking for teachable moments.

This... [ Chuckles, clicks tongue ]

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Everything all right, Mom?

Yeah, just a hunter, needs some help.

Another one?

Can't have too many friends in this line of work.

Okay -- The Internet here sucks.

I downloaded all the bunker's files to a new archive, but we're not getting any signal, so I'm j--

[ Snores ] Nobody cares.

Cass, here's the thing you need to know about waitresses, okay?

They get hit on all day long, so you gotta bring you A-game.

But upside? [ Clicks tongue ] They always smell like food.

They always smell like food.

Okay -- Okay --

Why is upside they smell like food?

Right? It's great.

Why would you want them to smell like food?

[ Hand thuds ]

Hey!

Screens down, eyes up, shut up.

Sorry, Mom.

Wally: Sorry.

Okay, here's what we know.

Our target keeps a tight schedule.

He leaves every day at 8:00 p.m.

He gets back exactly at 8:45.

Dean: What's he doin'?

Night fishing.

Wait a minute, you called us to -- to k*ll a demon that likes to fish?

Yes, I did. Look, guys, this is all new to me.

All right, you got a rugaru problem?

[ Snaps fingers ] Hey, I'm your guy. But demons?

Hell. Look, I was just passing through and I heard about some cattle mutilations.

Classic demon sign.

I started to dig.

A lot of virgins go missing around here, too.

Classic horny demon sign.

Which is why Wally called us, asking for help.

So are we all clear on the plan?

[ Gene McDaniels' “Walk with a Winner” playing ]

[ Sighs ]

Incoming. [ Clears throat ]

♪

[ Sniffs ] Hey, Mandy? Question for you.

My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here was, uh, just wondering, when do you get off?

Whenever I can.

Dean: Hey-O!

Wally: [ Stifles laugh ] Zing.

Point 1 for her.

Just dropped that on the table.

Wally: Right in front of all of us, too.

Dean: Ooh-hoo!

Wow. All right, Internet's up. We're in business.

[ Clears throat ] I'm so nervous, I don't even know if I can eat.

Everything's gonna be fine.

[ Grunts ]

[ Groans ]

♪ Walk with a winner ♪
♪ Come on, girl, and walk with a winner ♪

[ Groans ]

Where's Sam and Dean?

[ Grunts ]

♪ And walk with me ♪

[ Glass pitcher shatters ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Grunting ]

♪ You and me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

[ Laughs ]

Wally: No! No!

[ Growls ]

[ Whoosh ]

♪ Walk with a winner ♪
♪ Come on, girl ♪

Wally? Is that a -- No!

[ Grunts ]

[ Squish ]

[ Gurgles ]

[ Thuds ]

♪ For you and me, ooh ♪

I'm gonna be famous.

[ Grunts ]

The demon that k*lled Sam Winchester.

They're gonna tell stories about me.

[ Screaming ]

Oh, no, they won't.

[ Groans, breathing heavily ]

♪ Supernatural 12x12 ♪
Stuck in the Middle (With You)
Original Air Date on February 16, 2017

[ Church organ playing ]

Man on radio: Each of us has a time when the physical body dies and we all face God's judgment in the end.

There's not one of us alive walking on this earthly plane that will not pay the consequence for their actions.

The Lord will hold us in the palm of his hand and he'll weigh our souls.

Brothers and sisters, are you worthy?

Hey, Mom.

Sam.

Dean.

Wally.

Hi.

These are my sons.

Hi.

Glad to meet you.

She said a lot of good things.

Yeah. Right back at you, man.

Your, uh, your mom's real proud of you boys.

[ Horns blare in distance ]

Cass.

Thanks for coming.

I know you're busy.

Well, not really.

So, what? No luck with Lucifer's kid?

No, Kelly Kline -- it's like she's... just disappeared.

Lucifer's kid.

That's a joke, right? The...

It's not a joke.

All right, ramblers, let's get rambling.

Lucifer has a kid?

[ 1970s crime movie theme playing ]

Hey, what's the, uh, Wi-Fi password here?

Extra cheese.

Everyone is clear on the plan?

At 10:45, demon comes home.

Sam and I will be waiting for him.

I'll pop him with a Devil's Trap b*llet.

I'll finish him off with a demon blade.

And I will wait at the back with you in case he comes in that way.

Cool, cool. What do I do?

Keep a lookout. Don't die.

Everything is gonna be fine.

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Can rattles ]

[ Pats down rug ]

♪

[ Clicks ]

[ Door creaks, closes ]

Mary?

[ Door creaks ]

Where were you?

Bathroom.

I get nervous sometimes.

Urination.

I understand.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Beeps ]

Wally?

Wally: Heads up, Mary. He's coming back early.

[ Whistling Verdi's “La Donna è mobile” ]

[ Whistling continues ]

[ Clip clicks ]

[ g*n cocks ]

[ g*n cocks ]

[ Whistling continues ]

[ Whistling continues ]

[ Footsteps approaching ]

[ Metal scrapes ]

[ Squeaks ]

[ g*nsh*t ]

[ Screen door closes ]

You mind explainin' why you broke into my house?

[ g*nsh*t ]

I know it wasn't just to ruin the evening catch.

Hunters. [ Chuckles ]

[ Grunts, groans ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

Well, that didn't work.

[ Coughs ]

[ Demon blade clatters ]

Angel.

Uhh!

Aah!

[ Dishes clatter ]

[ Growling ]

[ Laughs ]

Hiya, sweetheart.

[ Pounding on doors ]

[ Shouts ]

Aah!

Run!

♪

Aah!

Guys, we got a problem.

Yeah, we know.

No, you don't. Demons incoming.

All right, get to Mom and Cass.

We got this. Go.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Wally grunts ]

You ready?

First time for everything.

[ Grunts ]

[ Spaghetti Western theme playing ]

[ Demon laughs ]

[ Grunting ]

Been a long time since I've seen an angel.

Yeah.

♪

Ah.

But not long enough.

Is that a -- No! No! No!

[ Gurgles ]

Aah!

Ah!

[ Screams, groans ]

Where do you think you're going, huh?

[ Laughs ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Grunting ]

Come on.

[ Engine revs, tires peal ]

[ Groaning ]

Cass. Oh, my...

[ Grunts ] Where is he?

I don't know.

Where is he?

Come on.

[ Grunts ]

[ Groans ]

Can you heal yourself?

I tried. Something's wrong.

How bad is it?

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Beep ]

Oh! Sam.

Hey, where are you?

Farm down the road. It looks abandoned.

Take your first left and drive until you see a barn.

Yeah, okay. We're on the way.

Are you okay?

No.

[ Breathing heavily ]

♪

No.

[ Door bangs open ]

What the hell just happened?

Where's Wally?

Wally, uh...

Oh, God.

[ Grunts ]

Cass?

Mom, where did those other demons come from?

I don't know. I...

The target. Did you see --

No.

He brushed off everything we threw at him.

Did you see his eyes?

What?

They were yellow.

He had yellow eyes.

Mom... what the hell did you get us into?

[ Bobby Darin's “Not For Me” playing ]

[ Screen door creaks ]

♪ Ballads are being sung ♪
♪ But not for me ♪

[ Screen door creaks ]

♪ Church bells are being rung ♪
♪ But not for me ♪

That's him?

That's the big bad demon you need help with?

Just some old guy.

♪ Love can be ♪

Technically, I'm in my 60s.

♪ For some, but not for me ♪

Okay, then.

Hell, what do I know?

[ Clears throat ]

I've never gone after a demon before.

I don't even know why you called me.

Because if Sam and Dean think they're helping you and not me, they won't ask the wrong questions.

It's safer that way.

Right.

You get those from your new limey friends?

Them fancy Men of Letters?

I did.

You trust 'em?

I-I just mean, I-I heard the sales pitch -- money, gear.

It all sounds swell, but someone walks up to you and offers you something that sounds a little too good to be true?

I wonder, what's the catch?

Since I've been working with them, we've taken out more than a dozen vamp nests, four werewolf packs, and a ghoul who was eating his way through Arlington.

We saved a lot of people.

Right, so you do trust them.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Let's go.

♪ But not for me ♪

Yeah.

[ Engine starts ]

Hey, Mandy, when do you get off?

Whenever I can.

[ Bell dings ]

Wally: You meet them fancy Men of Letters?

British Men of Letters?

Yeah, they got gear, but, uh, you know, they tried to k*ll my brother.

All right, Internet's up.

We're in business.

Everything's gonna be fine.

[ Sighs ]

♪

Castiel: Doesn't appear to be warded.

Okay. Let's get to work.

Sam?

Where's Dean?

Uh, he's out stashing the car.

Okay.

Wait, Mom?

Um...

I just wanted to make sure that, um... you're okay.

I mean, I know... you never really wanted this.

Since when is life about getting what you want?

[ Can rattling ]

[ Can rattling ]

[ Door creaks softly ]

♪

[ Metal clanks ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Whirring, clicking ]

[ Lock clicks ]

[ Metal box scrapes ]

[ Opens box ]

♪

[ Door creaks, closes ]

[ Footsteps overhead ]

Mary?

[ Door creaks, closes ]

Where were you?

Bathroom.

I get nervous sometimes.

Well, that didn't work.

Aah!

[ Touchscreen clicking ]

[ Beep ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Grunting ] Mary.

[ Groans ]

Mary.

Hey.

Hey.

How you feeling?

[ Door bangs open ]

What the hell just happened?

Where's Wally?

Wally, uh...

Oh, God.

[ Grunts ]

Cass?

Mom, where did those other demons come from?

Mary: I don't know.

Hey. Wow.

[ Grunts ]

You look like hammered crap.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Let's see.

Aah!

Ooh.

All right, okay.

[ Groans ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, hey, you know what?

I've had worse.

Oh, yeah? When?

[ Groans ]

Dean, something's wrong.

I... [ Inhales sharply ]

I can't heal myself.

I think the... [ Exhales sharply ] I think the demon's s-spear was poisoned.

I don't...

I-I think I'm dying.

No. No, you just need some time, okay?

You'll heal up the old-fashioned way.

[ Grunts ]

Mom... [ Groans ] what the hell did you get us into?

Sam.

Sammy!

[ Castiel grunts ]

[ Groaning ]

You idiots!

You're all going to die.

♪

You idiots!

You're all going to die.

Well, this day just keeps gettin' better.

Crowley?

You're him?

The King of Hell?

You must be Mother Winchester.

Pleasure. I've heard so much.

Touch me and I'll k*ll you.

What's up with Feathers?

Dean: What are you even doing here?

How'd you find us?

Sam: Wait a second.

The demons. They were yours.

Obviously.

They k*lled my friend.

Your friend was stupid.

You're all...

Do you know what you've done?

Does the name Ramiel mean anything to you?

Winchesters: No.

Yes.

What?

Ramiel, Prince of Hell.

Ramiel, Prince of Hell.

It's catchy. It rhymes.

And he's going to k*ll each and every one of you.

No. The Princes are all dead.

That's what we told people to stop them looking.

But in reality, not so much.

W-what the hell is a Prince of...Hell?

The oldest of the old demons.

The first generation after Lilith.

Lucifer turned them him himself, before the oceans drank Atlantis.

They were trained to be generals, to lead demonic armies in the w*r against Heaven.

Like Azazel.

They even have his eyes.

[ Robin Loxley & Jay Hawkes'

“Crop Won't Ever Come” ]

[ Sighs ]

Who are you?

[ Exhales sharply ]

And what do you want?

The name's Crowley.

♪

King of the Crossroads?

[ Cuckoo clock chiming ]

I've been sent by Hell.

And what? Don't they teach you how to knock in hell?

For that, I apologize.

But I do come bearing gifts.

The first is from all demonkind.

We heard that you collect weapons -- the more ancient and arcane, the better.

So may I present the Lance of Michael, the Archangel.

Impressive.

This beauty, she kills the bad ones fast and the good ones slow and painful.

Ironic, seeing as it was made by an angel.

There's only one angel Michael wanted to k*ll, and he wanted that son of a bitch to suffer.

Ah, the magic.

It's all in the runework.

The craftsmanship.

[ Whispers ] Oh.

Oh, the second gift is from myself.

Personally.

Something I thought you might like.

[ Box unlocks ]

Where did you get this?

It's amazing what some people just leave laying about.

Consider it your coronation present.

Pardon?

Brings me to your final gift -- the Throne of Hell.

[ Scoffs ]

[ Lid closes ]

You want me to be king?

Well, with Lilith and Azazel dead, and Lucifer back in his box, we need a ruler.

You are next in line, Ramiel.

Prince of Hell.

It's just a name.

Doesn't mean anything.

Still, the crown is yours if you want it.

I don't.

You take it.

I...

Pardon?

You seem ambitious enough, conniving enough, slimy enough.

So take it!

Go for the glory, kid.

I mean, one dares to dream, but what about the others?

You're not the only prince.

Azazel was a fanatic, a true believer in Lucifer's master plan.

But the rest of us?

Well, the truth is, we stopped caring a long time ago.

Asmodeus has his hobbies.

Dagon has her toys.

We're happy where we are.

So if you want the crown, it's yours.

Otherwise...

Oh, hell, ye--

I'll take it.

I mean, I graciously accept.

Swell, but there is one thing.

Nothing comes without a price.

Well, this should be easy enough.

Leave us alone.

And make sure everyone else does the same.

If anyone -- anything -- bothers a Prince of Hell, that's gonna be on your head, Crowley.

And you don't wanna know what happens when you piss us off.

I humbly accept your terms.

My demons were there to keep people away from Ramiel.

Believe me, that's a hornet's nest you do not want to be kicking.

Too late.

What happened to Cass?

You tell me.

He got stabbed with some kind of silver-tipped spear.

It's not a spear.

It's a lance.

The Lance of Michael.

Michael.

As in Michael Michael?

Nasty bit of business.

Kills everything it touches.

If you're a demon, you go up in a puff of smoke.

If you're an angel, you just...rot away.

Sorry, Castiel.

No. No.

There's a cure.

There's always a cure, and we will find it.

How?

We trap Ramiel.

And we b*at his ass until he gives it up.

It's not gonna work.

We took down the Darkness and the Devil.

It took you years to defeat Lucifer, and the power of God to stop the Darkness.

Maybe if you had more time, you could manage Ramiel.

But right now, in this barn...

Hey, I was growing fond of the choir boy, too.

Shut up. Shut up.

We don't have time, okay, for your -- for you.

So either help us or get the hell out of here!

Yeah, figures.

[ Whistling Verdi's “La Donna è mobile” ]

[ Whistling continues ]

What can I do to keep you out of that barn?

I smell the angel.

He's rotting.

These people -- they your friends?

I don't have friends.

I make deals with those I can use.

Every kingdom needs allies, even Hell.

Allies. Is that what you call three humans with one good liver between them and a busted up angel?

I admit, they don't sound like much.

But every Armageddon, every bloody “this is the end of all things,” a Winchester stopped it.

Like it or not, they're an asset we can't afford to lose.

We had an agreement, Crowley.

No one bothers us.

You remember?

We made one deal.

Let's make another.

Hmm.

What do you say?

[ Chuckling ]

Aah!

Uhh!

[ Spaghetti Western theme playing ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Chuckles ]

♪
♪

We don't have time, okay, for your -- for you.

So either help us or get the hell out of here!

Yeah, figures.

[ Groaning, coughs ]

Cass, how bad is it?

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunts ] Crowley's right.

You should go.

Cass, come on.

No, you listen to me.

You -- Look, thank you.

Thank you.

Knowing you, it... [ Grunts ] it's been the best part of my life.

And the things that... [ Inhales sharply ] the things we've shared together, they have changed me.

[ Groaning ]

You're my family.

I love you.

I love all of you.

Just please... please, don't make my last moments be spent watching you die.

Just run.

Save yourselves.

And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.

[ Coughs ]

Cass, no.

[ Inhales sharply ] Yes.

You need to keep fighting.

We are fighting.

We're fighting for you, Cass.

And like you said, you're family.

And we don't leave family behind.

[ Crying softly ]

Mom.

What's the play?

We hit him with everything we got.

[ Lighter clatters ]

♪

Toasty.

You stabbed one of our friends.

Your friend was trespassing.

Tell us how to cure him.

There is no cure.

You have any idea who we are?

I don't care.

I don't care who you are.

I don't care why you're here.

I don't care about Heaven or Hell or anything.

I don't even care that Lucifer's got a bun in the oven.

You know about that?

My sister Dagon, she's taken an interest.

But me? Eh.

Let me guess.

You don't care.

All I wanted was to be left alone.

But then you come.

You...steal from me.

And that? Ooh.

That I cannot abide.

Ah...

Give me back what's mine, or I take it off your lifeless bodies.

You've got...

30 seconds.

[ Click ]

Obviously, we got no idea what you're talking about.

20 seconds.

[ Breathing shakily ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Click ]

Have it your way.

♪

[ Whoosh ]

Aah!

[ Loud crash ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Squish ]

Uhh!

[ Gags ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Screaming ]

[ expl*si*n ]

[ Groaning loudly ]

Cass.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, we're here, Cass.

We're right here, buddy.

[ Castiel gags ]

[ Blows air ]

♪

Ramiel: Ah, the magic.

It's all in the runework.

The craftsmanship.

Hang in there, all right?

What do we do?

[ Whooshing ]

♪

The magic's in the craftsmanship.

Cass?

♪

Oh. You're welcome.

[ Lance clatters ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

So...you're good?

I guess so.

What did he...

What did he mean about somebody stealing from him?

Who knows what that crazy man was talkin' about.

Let's go home.

[ Western movie theme playing ]

Well, that's... quite a story.

You did well.

You sent me after a damn Prince of Hell.

Well, we didn't know what he was.

We just knew he had the item.

That's not good enough.

I lost a friend.

I almost lost one of my boys.

And we apologize --

Shut up.

Anything like that happens again -- anything -- and I will burn you down.

All of you.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Is that a thr*at?

It's a promise.

We made a mistake.

I'm sorry.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Can I...see it?

♪

[ Heavy thud ]

Hello, beautiful.

My father used to tell me stories about this thing.

You know there's only five things in all Creation it can't k*ll?

Oh, yes.

I know all about the Colt.

Crowley: Search that house.

Search it again.

Find me that g*n.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

♪ Oh, there was a g*n that won the West ♪
♪ There was a man among the best ♪
♪ The fastest g*n or man alive ♪
♪ A lightning bolt when he sh*t that Colt ♪

Bang!

♪ Forty five ♪

[ Laughs ] Man.

[ Chuckles ]

I suppose you think that's funny.

[ Laughing ] Ah.

I know that look.

Sam and Dean have got you down.

Well, I still can't believe that you're working for the Dukes of Haphazard.

Do you really think they care about you?

I mean, think about it, Crowley.

They k*ll your kind.

It's in their blood.

And you know... you know... it's only a matter of time before they come...

[ Singsongy ] for you.

Shut your mouth, dog.

[ Sighs ]

[ Metal clinks ]

That's not my name.