01x04 - Mrs. & Mr. Trowbridge

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Whiskey Cavalier". Aired: February 2019 to May 2019.*
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Suffering from an emotional breakup, FBI super-agent Will Chase (codename: Whiskey Cavalier) and his new partner Francesca"Frankie" Trowbridge (codename: Fiery Tribune), a CIA operative, embark on missions to save the world.
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01x04 - Mrs. & Mr. Trowbridge

Post by bunniefuu »

Will Chase, FBI.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[GROANS]

Frankie Trowbridge, CIA.

CASEY: The world is in chaos.

So we've assembled all of America's best intelligence assets under one banner.

We are all officially working together.

As a team.

- Led by me.

- Led by me.

Previously on "Whiskey Cavalier"...

Did we, uh, interrupt something?

William.

How long?

How long?!

S-Seven months.

[GRUNTS]

WILL: What my file doesn't tell you is that I believe in love.

That I'm a better person and a better agent because of it.

[CHEERING IN DISTANCE]

They just look so happy, don't they?

You want to stick around, maybe catch the bouquet?

No, we don't have time.

♪ ♪

SUSAN: Classic old-school security guard...

Probably divorced, bored, nonexistent sex life.

WILL: Do your thing, Suze.

Bonsoir, handsome.

¿Hablas español?

Mnh-mnh.

Aw.

English?

Mm.

This is a private gallery.

Aw.

Paris.

So many rules.

[CHUCKLES]

Where can a lady go to...

...break a few?

[CHUCKLES]

Susan does love the "party girl from Barcelona" shtick.

I promised after we broke in and seized the nerve gas, I'd go dancing with her.

Oh, that sounds fun.

I'll come, too.

Invite-only.

Standish, we're in.

Okay, guys, it's a temperature-controlled room in the rear of the art gallery.

Pretty sure that's where somebody would keep nerve gas.

Now, I also want to go on record as saying we should have "Frankie'd" this guy...

Broke a few fingers, got him to talk.

Will you stop using my name as a verb?

It's a compliment.

Miguel Costa's a high-ranking Diplomat.

He's protected.

No agencies will touch him without evidence.

We...

secure the nerve gas, and then we get...

God!

You know, it's one thing to be a slob at home, Edgar...

Don't call me Edgar, man.

Ooh!

Then I'm just gonna use your given name every time I'm annoyed at you...

Edgar.

We're guests in this space, so...

Oh, my bad.

Did you want some of this?

Nah, it's cool.

The mayo's not even warm yet.

He's cool with it.

Ohh.

I do love Paris.

Really?

I would have thought it brings back all kinds of painful memories.

I mean, this is where you and Gigi...

you know.

No, Gigi did me a solid.

She forced me to realize that my true soul mate is still out there.

You never give up, do you?

On true love?

No.

Never.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Okay, guys, deploy the laser detection gas.

You mean the smoke b*mb?

- It is not a smoke b*mb.

- It's a smoke b*mb.

Uh, yeah, it's a smoke b*mb, Jai.

[CLICK]

♪ ♪ [HISSING]

♪ ♪ Care to dance?

I'd love to.

♪ ♪ You know, I studied art history in college.

Rembrandt only painted his wife, Saskia...

His one true love.

And he even drew her on her deathbed.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

She die of boredom?

♪ ♪

♪ Where is the light? ♪

♪ Where is the light that used to shine? ♪

Disable the alarm.

I'm showing Katya around.

Yes, sir.

Costa arrived, and he's got company.

This won't be the cakewalk we'd hoped for.

Thanks, Susan.

Mm!

Now, Picasso, he knew how to live.

No rules, no commitment...

A life driven by lust.

Something to be said for lust.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

We're through.

Guys, he's got to be close.

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Where is he?

Hey.

Is he worth a prison cell?

- - - .

[KEYPAD BEEPS]

[BEEP, LOCK CLICKS]

[SIGHS]

You said we were soul mates.

I rest my case.

You feel betrayed.

I've been there.

Gets easier.

Great job, guys. Gas is secured.

Come on home.

♪ I need to know now ♪

♪ Know now ♪

♪ Can you love me again?

H-Hey!

What's up, guys?

Come on in here, teammates!

What do you think of the new digs?

It's nice, Ray.

We've been here before.

Okay, so, bad news is we couldn't get the blood out of the Rembrandt.

The good news is that I already got the agency forgery department to paint a new one.

We have a forgery department?

You know the "Mona Lisa"?

Not the "Mona Lisa." Mnh-mnh.

This guy named Kevin painted it.

That's great, Ray.

Why are we here?

Huh?

We already took down Costa, and we seized the nerve gas.

Not

all


of it.

He admitted to selling a large quantity to a single buyer...

Enough to take down an entire city.

His name is Andrei Zimbrean, an exiled Romanian general hellbent on seizing control of the country.

And he's gonna use the nerve gas to do it.

So, capture Zimbrean...

alive...

To be tried for w*r crimes.

He's coming out of hiding for the wedding of his only daughter this weekend in the South of France.

[CHEERING]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Well, that wedding's gonna be crawling with the General's security.

How do we even get in?

The groom is an Interpol agent.

Mm-hmm.

Deep under cover.

And he's told

everybody


how pumped he is that his ol' college buddy Dan Fleming is gonna be there to celebrate the big day and bro out!

You know, just like

we


used to do...

Before...

my one indiscretion.

Which I am truly sorry for.

Oh.

Oh, you're

truly


sorry.

Why didn't...

Why didn't you say so before?

That fixes everything, Ray.

God, he's

truly


sorry!

There we go.

You're being sarcastic, but I wish that you weren't.

So, Will's his college roommate.

What's my cover?

Mrs. Dan Fleming?!

You're gonna be posing as a happily

married couple over the weekend.

Seriously?

We're the Flemings, Hon.

Come on.

This'll be fun.

I k*ll at weddings.

Of course you do.

Okay, I'm gonna be head bartender, and you, Edgar, are my barback.

[LAUGHS]

All right, man, look, I'm too sexy to be a barback.

If anything, I'm doing this to fund my modeling/singing career.

Okay, you keep telling yourself that.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

♪ My turn!

♪ So, don't...

Let me guess.

Let me guess.

Let me guess.

Is it gonna be, like, a-a gorgeous artiste with a rosé problem?

Is it in here?

Which one is it?

Actually, Susan, with all the...

you know, with all the criminal types invited to this thing, we need you to run profiles on all the guests.

So, um...

I'm sorry, but we need you to stay here for this one.

Oh.

Oh.

[LAUGHING]

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

No, no.

I get it.

I get it.

That's cool.

I'm cool.

[LAUGHS]

You know what, you guys?

Have the best time.

Bonjour.

[LAUGHS]

- I'll be here [LAUGHS]

profiling.

- Good.

You know, that's my thing.

Psyched.

[CLAUDE FRANÇOIS' "JE T'AIME TROP, TOI" PLAYS, TO TUNE OF "I GOT YOU BABE"]

♪ Ils disent qu'on est beaucoup trop jeune ♪

♪ Que plus tard peut-être on comprendra ♪

♪ Je ne sais pas ce qu'ils veulent dire ♪

♪ Ce que je sais c'est que moi je t'aime trop ♪

♪ Toi ♪

♪ Je t'aime trop toi ♪

Bonjour, madame.

♪ Je t'aime trop toi ♪

Hey, let's check in and crash, huh?

Big day tomorrow.

[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC FADES]

We would have made the cocktail hour if you'd rented the Ferrari.

What do you want from me?

Dan has a passion for vintage cars.

One of the many things Mary hates about him.

See, that's, uh, that's not in the backstory.

Is now.

I'll write...

that down.

- What is this?

- Hmm?

Oh, it's all they had left on the registry.

Uh, i-it was either the crystal butter dish or the silk duvet cover.

I went butter dish because...

Look, we got to make this look real.

Okay?

No.

No!

This is breakable.

It's a butter dish.

Ground rules.

Number one, you're calling me "Mary." No pet names...

No "Honey," no "Boo." Just "Mary." Got it?

Boo, come on, honey.

Number two, I will laugh at all of Dan's stupid jokes, but Mary does not do PDA.

Tootsie Roll, you got to hold my hand.

Not unless you want me to break it.

Hmm.

How great is this place, though, huh?

I mean, can you feel the weight, the history that was here?

I mean, who knows who would have slept here?

And a canopy bed.

It's a bucket-list thing for me to sleep in a canopy bed.

All right, I will stay on my side.

Do not worry.

Couch it is.

♪ ♪

Heyyyyy!

Me and you on a mission.

This'll be fun.

Didn't we discuss the slob thing?

Fine.

I'll keep my stuff on my side if I can have the rest of the cookies.

Okay.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

- Our first task...

Are you ready?

- Mm-hmm.

Plant digestible nano trackers on Zimbrean and his entire security detail so that we know where they are at all times.

Now...

these are the nano trackers...

Virtually undetectable in drinks or food.

Wow.

I can't see anything.

It's 'cause there's nothing there.

They're too microscopic to see with the naked eye, but up close, they look like tiny, little bugs, and they just latch on to your organs with their claws.

Isn't that painful?

You tell me.

You just ate six of them.

♪ ♪ Your tiny robots are delicious.

Thank you.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

♪ ♪ Any sign of the General, guys?

Negative.

Hasn't checked in yet.

When he does, I'll have drinks full of tiny robot bugs.

WILL: This place is amazing.

I went for a long run this morning down by the river.

Just...

Ohh.

I know.

It was still dark.

You woke me up.

Oh, I'm sorry, Boo.

Did you, uh...

You at least appreciate the breakfast I sent to the room?

- The coffee was nice.

- Yeah.

But I don't do eggs.

Or inane chitchat.

"Inane"?

Hello.

It's so nice to meet you...

SUSAN: Vasily Chebu...

Corrupt financier.


Did four years in Czech Supermax.

I love your tattoos.

Oh, come on.

I have others.

Really?

Okay.

- So nice.

- Hi.

Yeah.

Standish hacked me into the château's security cameras.

It looks really fun there.

It's not.

I can see you smiling!

- My bad.

-

Heads-up...


Bride-to-be/General's daughter incoming.

Excuse me.

You must be Iona.

Dan Fleming.

My wife, Mary.

Oh!

I'm so happy that you guys made it.

Uh, Paul tells me you two are the perfect couple.

Oh, it's like a fairy tale.

Well, I'd love to know the secret.

This whole marriage thing is, uh, a lot.

[LAUGHS]

Isn't it?

Danny Boy!

Hey!

There's the groom!

- Hey.

- Look at you!

So glad you made it.

Hey, Mary.

You look wonderful.

Thank you, Paul.

Can't wait for you to meet my new father-in-law.

Unfortunately, turns out he's not even stopping by for a drink.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Yeah.

Alcohol.

Great idea.

[LAUGHS]

It's a fairy tale.

♪ ♪ - Ooh.

- I'll take one of those.

Thank you.

Someone has an admirer.

♪ ♪ Ah, she probably thinks I'm single because your body language makes it look like I'm single.

Have we met?

I'm Michelle.

I don't think so.

Dan Fleming.

This is my wife, Mary.

Hi.

- Monaco.

- Nice.

- Maybe Zurich.

- No, well, we...

we don't travel much.

Wife's a bit of a snore.

Guilty as charged.

You look so familiar.

Just one of those faces, I guess.

Maybe.

Give me some time.

I'll figure it out.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Michelle Ito...

Psycho.

Assassin-for-hire.

I tried to turn her five years ago in Berlin.

She probably doesn't recognize me 'cause I was going through my goatee phase.

Well, I read that they were slimming.

Okay, she's coming back.

We can't let her blow our cover.

All right.

Body language.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

Yeah, that was better.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ So, the kiss...

You think she bought it?

Yeah, no.

Fooled me.

Fooled me.

Hey, Suze, um, is she here on business?

Possibly.

You need to find out if your cover is blown.

I nano-tracked Michelle's champagne.

After brunch, she went to the gym.

She's currently in the women's locker room.

[BLOWS]

Looks like this one's on me, Boo.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ Michelle.

Right?

That's right.

Yeah, my husband...

He's going nutty trying to remember you.

You ever been to Aspen?

Nope.

Dan did a maple syrup tour there last year.

Yeah, he's, uh, dorky.

WILL: Hey, Dan's not a dork!

Dan's very cool.

Nope.

Never been to Aspen.

How about...

Berlin?

♪ Jouons à ne pas voir plus clair ♪

♪ L'amour n'a jamais eu besoin de nos peurs ♪

♪ Je veux l'amour que je m'invente ♪

♪ Je veux le boire de ta bouche de menthe ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ Jouons encore, encore un peu ♪

♪ Moi à ta jolie, toi à mon bien aimé ♪

♪ Viens prends l'amour que je te professe ♪

♪ Viens le boire de ma bouche fe fraise ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ Paris sans toi est un enfer ♪

♪ Les amoureux s'embrassent encore ♪

- [CAN HISSES]

- Aah!♪ ...sans ton amour ♪

♪ C'est l'été à Beyrouth ♪

♪ Et l'hiver dans mon coeur ♪

[GROANS]

I liked you better with a goatee.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ C'est l'été à Beyrouth ♪

Uh, guys, how we doing?

You okay?

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

Actually...

we just had our first fight as a married couple.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, LAUGHTER]

FRANKIE: Is the General ever

going to leave his room?

Paul said he's scheduled to attend the groom's sh**ting party this afternoon.

We'll grab him then.

Great.

I'll be on bride detail.

We need you to get close to her, find out what she knows.

[SIGHS]

Hey, you know, I saw some bikes out front, babe.

I thought maybe, uh...

I don't know.

Maybe we'd take them for a spin, go see the sights.

Yeah.

That reminds me of that trip we took right after the wedding.

The...

Honeymoon.

The honeymoon.

- Cancún!

- Cancún!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

He's gone.

♪ ♪ I'd get married in a place like this.

Mm...

Oh, come on.

You're telling me this does nothing for you?

The wedding's not real.

[LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE]

It is to the bride.

Till she finds out her father's a genocidal maniac, her fiancé's fake, and so are Dan and Mary Fleming.

Sometimes I think things are as real as you want

them to be.

♪ ♪ First time I came to Europe, I was .

I toured around by bike.

Bike.

See?

The bike thing I said earlier...

I got that from you.

I intuited that.

I'm an intuiter.

I like to...

I intuit things.

[CHUCKLES]

I went to Italy, Spain, and France.

I saw places just like this.

Just thought I'd be back getting married to a Backstreet Boy.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I-I just never thought my life would end up like this.

Glad it did, though.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

I'll see you... back at the room.

Sure.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

PAUL: Pull!

[g*nshots]

Aw!

_ [LAUGHTER]

Close.

Let's go here.

Your wife is lovely.

[CHUCKLES]

Huh.

- Pull.

- [WHIRRING]

[INDISTINCT TALKING, LAUGHTER]

Oh!

Beginner's luck!

[CHUCKLES]

Easy, there, Captain America.

This is supposed to be Dan's first time.

Right.

[SHOTGUN COCKS]

Aw, man!

I'm so sorry.

God, I'm so new to this thing.

Aw, man, that looked like it hurt a lot.

Whew!

He's lucky I didn't sh**t him.

So, where's Zimbrean?

Hasn't shown for any

of the family events, but g*ns and booze...

Right up his alley.

He'll be here.

I hope so.

SUSAN: How's it going with the bride?

I'm in hell.

This is what hell is.

Are you complaining?

Girl, you are swanking it up

in a château in the South of France.

It's my fantasy.

You are living my fantasy.

I don't speak wedding.

Yeah?

Well, learn.

Frankie, you have toppled m*llitary regimes.

You can do this.

♪ ♪ So... how's the bride?

Actually, not great.

What's going on?

One of my bridesmaids...

Michelle...

She had to go for a "family emergency." She didn't even talk to me...

Just e-mailed.

That's weird.

It's not that weird.

You k*lled her.

Also, my father refuses to be involved in anything,

and Paul seems really distracted, and...

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just being a crazy bride, right?

Comfort her.

Come on.

She needs it.

No.

You're not your family.

You're a strong woman.

You're doing so great!

Who's not gonna be thrown when all of your illusions are shattered, everything that you thought you knew was wrong...

[CHUCKLES]

...everything's a lie.

Abort.

Now, I'm not saying that's gonna happen, but if it was, you'd be fine.

Hey.

Weddings are tough.

Let's drink.

- [SIGHS]

- [GLASSES CLINK]

You wouldn't consider stepping in as a bridesmaid,

- would you?

- [GULPS]

I mean, Paul suggested it, but it would make me happy, too.

I'd love to.

Yes!

Yeah!

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Zimbrean never showed.

I gathered some intel.

He's refusing to socialize.

Oh, you gathered some intel?

Is that what you're calling it now?

- Excuse me?

-

I assume you got that information


from your friend Vasily.

How I gather my intel is none of your business.

It is when it endangers the mission.

We are Dan and Mary.

You could have blown our covers.

Oh, please.

I helped our cover.

Married people cheat all the time.

It's the American way.

No, the Flemings took a vow!

Are you seriously upset because I cheated on our fake marriage?

I'm just saying that Dan took his commitment seriously, while it's very clear that Mary did not!

Well, maybe Mary is an independent woman and she was just trying to spice things up.

Besides, she can do whatever or whomever she pleases.

See?

Right there.

Right there.

Dan would never say that.

Dan would never think like that.

It's about character.

It's about character, and you don't have any!

You mean Mary doesn't.

Yes. Mary.

I was... I'm talking about Mary.

Obviously.

Uh, excuse me.

Guys?

Is there a plan?

The General is refusing to come out.

Looks like we're gonna have to go to him.

Yeah, we'll get him in his room after dark.

Hey, Jai, can you sedate Zimbrean and his security detail?

And Will, while you're at it.

It's "Dan"!

While we're here, it's "Dan"!

Standing by.

Currently lounging by.

It's how I do my best work.

Okay.

This is knockout serum.

No taste, no smell...

[g*nf*re]

Are you paying attention?

Yeah.

I mean, you know, in a minute.

I'm about to win this Battle Royale.

Oh, whatcha doing?

You think you can hide up there and snipe on me?

- Nuh-unh.

- Come on.

Where you running?

Where you running?

Come back.

I'm so mad, I think I might pass out.

You're gonna deliver this to the General as a gift from management.

God!

What's up?

No.

Never touch my stuff.

[SCOFFS]

Just chill, bro.

Oh, no.

Would you look at this place?

You're a child who has no respect for his colleagues or their belongings or...

Okay, I get it.

You need to vent.

I-It's fine.

I'm emotionally bulletproof, so go ahead...

get it out.

♪ ♪ Honestly...

I'm embarrassed to come to work with you...

every single day.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Head sh*t.

SUSAN: Okay.

How are things going with Mrs.

Fleming?

Well, turns out Mary's into open marriages.

- Are you okay?

- You kidding me?

I don't care what Frankie does.

Oh, please.

I know you.


You've always had a thing for emotionally unavailable women.

You're right.

It's 'cause they're so fun to change.

[CHUCKLING]

That always works out.

Listen, this might be none of my business, but you really need to hear something...

Please don't lecture me right now.

You got to own your feelings, Will.

Thanks for listening.

Look, you and Frankie...

It's complicated.

It makes sense if you're a little bit jealous.

You're right.

This is none of your business.

Do me a favor and let me do my job and stay out my ear for a little while, okay?

♪ ♪ Oh!

Uhhh...

Hey, man, management wanted me to send this up as a thank-you to the General for choosing our château.

So I'm gonna give that to you so you can give it to him

so he knows that we are appreciative.

Gonna sit that on the floor.

All right.

But, uh, I kind of need to see you give him that wine.

My boss said to do that, or he's gonna fire me.

So if I could see you give it to him,

it would really help me out.

You like music?

I'm actually a singer-songwriter, specializing in freestyle song.

♪ We're just sittin' with the General's wine ♪

♪ One sip'll make him feel fine ♪

♪ My job is on the line ♪

♪ So please don't waste my time ♪

♪ Yeah, we're just sittin' with the General's wine ♪

♪ Told you my job is on the line ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Takin' him the General's wine ♪

♪ Saving tiiiime ♪

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]


♪ ♪

WILL: I got to say, for a convicted felon, Vasily seems like a great guy.

Why do you always do this...

Mix the personal with the professional?

Me?

You.

That's what you were doing.

Then you start to get all vulnerable and you go "gather intel."

- [SIGHS]

- No, no, no, no, no.

♪ ♪

[WHISPERING]

Standish, why isn't he unconscious?

STANDISH: I don't know.

Give him a minute.

Is it really that hard, huh?

To be fake-married to me?

Yeah, it is.

'Cause you give me these looks that seem almost like you're trying to...

Trying to what?

Connect?

You were doing the exact same thing.

Frankie, I hate to tell you, you have a heart and a pulse and the capacity to feel.

Take that back!

No.

I know it.

♪ ♪ [BOTTLE THUDS]

He's out.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You want some advice?

Not ever.

Take a cue from our undercover groomsman.

He's been pretending to be in love for five years.

No emotions, no blurred lines.

He's doing his job.

[LATCHES CLICK]

Hey, check this out.

Susan's profile said the General had open heart surgery.

There's no scar.

[BEEPING]

Different fingerprints.

Body double.

That's why he's never left the room.

- [DOOR OPENS]

- GUARD: Don't move!

[GROANS]

♪ ♪ Yeah, I brought a bottle for him, too.

You're welcome.

Jai, we need you and Standish back at the Hive to monitor the General's compound in Romania until we land.

We're getting out of here.

The real Zimbrean and his nerve gas have got to be there.

And, Standish, please tell Will to stop sulking.

We have a mission to finish.

- STANDISH: Copy.

- [LAUGHS]

Will, stop sulking.

Hey, Susan, can you tell Frankie that I'm not sulking, that I've just shut down emotionally so she wouldn't feel so alone?

Suze?

Susan, you there?

Drinking alone?

Wow.

Welcome to my world.

What do you need, Ray?

Well, no one can reach you.

You're off of comms.

Why?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know why being left off this mission just...

has upset me so much.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

You come from a big family, Ray?

- Actually...

- Don't answer.

I don't care.

I have five sisters.

[LAUGHING]

Five.

So you can imagine, in my house, it could get pretty vicious.

And my only defense mechanism was reading people...

Getting to know their weaknesses, their secrets, their motivations.

And I got...

really good at it.

But it didn't make my sisters want to hang out with me much, so I got left behind...

A lot.

Anyway, I am sorry that I'm off comms.

But they seem to be doing just fine without me.

[MOCKINGLY]

"They seem to be doing fine.

Ba-boo, Ba-boo." Oh, I will hurt you.

[NORMAL VOICE]

Seriously?

You're gonna have a pity party?

I mean, your team needs you.

Do you think they need me?

Not even for a second.

Yeah, all because I made one

mistake.

You were Will's best friend, and you slept with his fiancée.

Yeah, like I said...

One mistake.

That...

I made over and over for seven months.

But the point is that they love you.

I mean, I'm just some kind of glorified mouthpiece, you know, delivering intel and arranging tickets to Romania.

I'm just hoping, if I hang around long enough, that someday, Will will forgive me and let me back in.

[SIGHS]

So stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I'd k*ll to be you.

♪ ♪ Thanks, Ray.

...your long-lost friend

♪ [GLASSES CLINK]

♪ ♪ Romania?

Yeah, the General didn't even bother to show up for his own kid's wedding, so Whiskey and Fiery are on the way there.

No.

That's not right.

SUSAN:

Will?

Frankie?


Susan.

Susan, you're back.

Hey, look, about earlier, I'm...

I'm so sorry...

Yeah, not now, Will.

Listen, do not leave that château.

There is zero chance that Zimbrean is missing his only child's wedding.

If he had someone there pretending to be him,

he's there pretending to be someone else.

No, look, the wedding's tomorrow.

How do we smoke him out?

You don't.

I will.

Oh, and, Will?

Yeah.

Apology accepted.

Thanks.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

WILL: Well, Lenka, I appreciate the effort, but I'm just...

I'm afraid the age difference is too much to overcome.

Yeah, of course.

[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Whew.

All right, five minutes until "Here Comes The Bride," so let's make sure...

[CHUCKLING]

No way.

Not...

one...

word.

But I have so many words.

Oh, the shoes are a nice touch, though.

They're work shoes.

We're working.

Yeah, we are working.

There's a bunch of security here.

I'd say the General's got to be nearby.

Hey, guys, once you grab the General, head to the northeast exit.

Grab car's gonna be waiting at the gate.

He doesn't look good.

Do spies get cold feet?

[SIGHS]

Nah, he's fine.

I don't know.

Looks like something's going on with him.

Susan, we're gonna have to move fast before this gets ugly.

Not as ugly as that dress.

♪ ♪ [ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS, DOOR OPENS]

[LAUGHTER, MURMURING]

I had Ray drop a fake news story about the General's chemical weapons being seized.

Once it goes wide, he'll react.

So the plan is to look for a general in disguise, on the phone, who's about to blow a gasket because his plan is collapsing.

Pretty much.

I like it.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [CELLPHONE CHIMES]

Fake news initiated.

It's show time.

♪ ♪ I don't see him.

Yeah, me neither.

He's there.

I know it.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

There.

♪ ♪ [ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS]

I'm blocked.

I can't get a sh*t.

["WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS]

[GUESTS MURMURING]

♪ ♪

SUSAN: What's he doing?

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Paul.

No.

W-What is that?

What are you doing?!

_ Why?!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

No!

[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

No!

Get down!

[SHOUTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

♪ ♪ [ENGINE STARTS, REVS]

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [PANTING]

FRANKIE: What are you waiting for?!

Take the sh*t!

Take it now!

Take out the whole damn car!

♪ ♪ [BREATHING HEAVILY]

I couldn't.

I love her.

Can no one just do their job?!

True love.

Yeah, I know this isn't good.

At the same time, it's kind of a personal victory for me.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ENGINE REVVING]

Once again...

Great choice of car.

Hey, Dan stands by his backstory, okay?

Wouldn't be an issue if our stupid groom hadn't screwed everything up.

This is what happens when you believe in true love.

This is what happens when you believe in true love!

He's supposed to be a spy!

[MOCKINGLY]

"But I love my wife so much, and she's so pretty, and as soon as I kissed her for the first time, the whole mission went out the window."

[NORMAL VOICE]

Idiot!

Is she always like this?

[CHUCKLING]

No, no.

She's usually meaner.

Jai, any idea on the General's probable destination?

Two kilometers southwest.

Go there now.

I nano-tracked each guest as a precaution.

Wait.

You nano-tracked

-plus people as a precaution?

You do realize you're a crazy person, right?

Oh, do you not know?

Because that makes you even more crazy.

You know, I-I am aware that this chronic attention to detail can make me seem...

difficult.

But, see, i-in my job, being meticulous is everything.

If a g*n doesn't work, if a b*llet is missing, if I don't nano-track every single guest, people could die.

People... have.

I'm good at my job because I'm obsessive.

But I know it doesn't always make me the easiest person to be around, so...

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

Apology accepted.

That was not an apology.

Yes, it was, Jai.

And it was so cute.

Two kilometers southwest.

Go there now.

A private plane has been approved

for takeoff to Bucharest.

♪ ♪ [WOLFMOTHER'S "JOKER AND THE THIEF" PLAYS]

Come on, baby.

Show me what you got.

♪ I said the joker is a wanted man ♪

This thing's gonna fall apart.

Why don't you have a little faith, huh?

♪ See him sifting through the sand ♪

♪ So I'll tell you all the story ♪

♪ 'Bout the joker and the thief in the night ♪

[TIRES SCREECH]

[ENGINE BACKFIRES]

What's that smoke?

You smell smoke?

♪ Always living in the final hour ♪

Come on, come on!

♪ There is always sweet and sour ♪

♪ So we are not going home ♪

Here we go.

Here we go!

[LAUGHS]

See?

Yes!

[TIRES SCREECH]

You can keep your Ferrari, huh?

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

No, no, no!

I got this.

I got this.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

Move that car right now!

Move it!

IONA: You lied to me!

You lied to me!

Yes.

This started out as a mission.

You were my assignment.

But then I got to know you.

And I got to see how you were trapped by this monster.

But still, you didn't let it get you down.

Don't listen to him!

Your father's gonna m*ssacre his own people.

But the woman that I want to marry would never let that happen.

♪ ♪ No, Daddy.

Let me.

♪ ♪ [SOBS, SNIFFLES]

♪ ♪ Iona.

Please.

I love you.

Please.

♪ ♪ Iona!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I'm sorry, Daddy.

♪ ♪ [SHOUTS, GROANS]

Happy now?

I'm actually a little weddinged out at the moment.

Which is new for me.

♪ ♪ [LAUGHING]

Hey!

Great job, guys!

General Zimbrean spilled the beans on the whereabouts of the nerve gas.

Plus we let, uh, Paul and Iona take the private jet for their honeymoon.

Ooh!

Maybe they'll let us

take the jet when they're done and we can go to Vegas and...

Time to go, Ray.

Copy that.

Oh, let him stay this once.

He really helped me out.

He'll just sit there, in the corner.

He won't say anything.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll sit right here.

I won't say one word at all.

I mean, even if someone's like, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" I wouldn't even answer.

I'd be like c...

Just... for me?

Anything for you.

[CHUCKLES]

Thanks.

Yeah!

- Hey, you.

- Hey.

We got you a gift.

Oh, come on, you guys!

Really?

- [LAUGHS]

- Truffles!

Yum.

And a robe.

The robe is from me.

And the hotel, but...

[LAUGHTER]

Susan, we couldn't have done it without you.

Thank you.

I'll drink to that.

Oh.

And to k*lling at weddings.

- SUSAN: Hey!

- Okay.

- All right.

- Cheers.

- [BOTTLES CLINK]

- Salud!

Cheers!

All right.

♪ Between the devil and the sea, yeaaaaah ♪

♪ Save your life ♪

♪ And I'll try to save mine ♪

[POOL BALLS CLACK]

♪ Teachers tried to pull me through the tide ♪

♪ But I dwell ♪

[SIGHS]

For a sn*per, you're not much of a sh*t.

Uh-huh.

Did you need something?

♪ ...stand-up kind of guy, but he went down ♪

No.

But...

♪ Just like me ♪

I thought that you might.

♪ Between the devil and the sea ♪

♪ Between the devil and the sea ♪

[BOTTLE THUDS]

♪ ♪

Thanks for the beer.

♪ ♪
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