04x08 - Lexington and Concord

Episode transcripts for the show "The L Word". Aired: January 2004 to March 2009.*
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Drama series features a group of lesbians; Jenny, Bette, Tina, Shane, Kit and Alice and their friends, family and lovers living in the trendy Greater Los Angeles, as they deal with life's ups and downs. New sequel coming 2019.
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04x08 - Lexington and Concord

Post by bunniefuu »

The L Word - x - Lexington and Concord


Oh, Sounder, am I gonna rot in hell?

I hear you're buying the rights to Jenny to make a movie.

It's such a nightmare.

Really? Why are you doing it then?

Everyone wants it.

That's what I hate about the movie business.

Well, she's not very kind to you.

I have to kiss her ass because every studio in town is blowing smoke up it, and all I really want to do is wring her neck.

And that character, Nina, is that really what people think of me?

No, Tina!

Come on, Jenny's a fiction writer.

I mean, her story is funny and

it's over the top, that's why people are loving it.

You said some of those things.

In pain and anger.

I mean, I know our relationship was real.

I know you loved me and it wasn't just some trivial experiment to you.

I still love you, you know.

I love you, too.

It's so hard, Bette.

I miss you so much sometimes.

I miss our life.

I miss the way we communicated subtly...

I miss the way that we worked together to make everything around us so beautiful.

I miss being surrounded by women and feeling part of something so secret and special.

Come here.

Sometimes I think I made a mistake.

You don't have to think about it that way.

Jodi!

Tina, this is Jodi Lerner.

This is Tina.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Hi!

I haven't even done anything.
She just started doing it on her own.

Babies learn quick.

Sign language is easy for them.

You must be spending a lot of time here.

I don't wanna miss much.

Didn't you deposit?

We don't have that on this TV.

You don't have TiVo?
No, we don't have TiVo.

He also doesn't have his own room.

I'm a terrible person.

Hey!

Hey Bette!

So, anyway, all I was saying is that you're not the first woman I've ever been with.

You're not the first straight girl I've been with.

Uh... straight girl?

Oh, I'm sorry, should I be calling you something different?

Well, I'd rather not be called anything.

I'm sexually fluid.

Yourself... with a girl.

I mean, I mean, you've never had a relationship with a woman.

What's your point?

Oh I just...

I don't want you to think it would be any better.

I do think it would be better.

I mean, I find men physically attractive, but emotionally retarted.

Well, girls are the same way.

But less though.
Please.

Who are you kidding?
They're worse.

I know you have this "mythology" about yourself.

But I've watched you with Shay,you're not emotionally Ret*rded.

It's different with him.

Well it speaks...look, I don't want you to think that I'm expecting you to jump into a relationship with me.

Okay.

I'll give you like a week or two.

Oh Christ!

Oh God! You are a d*ke!
I was totally wrong.

You're more of a one than I am.
Jesus...

Watch you!

My girl is hot.
Do you like it?

Sure.

What? If you wanna change that, I'm gotta work on that if you're not happy.

No, no point in changing anything now.

What's done is done.

Well, okay.
As long as you're happy.

I didn't say that.

Hey, what's up Papi?

What's up, gorgeous?

What you're doing?

I'm just excited about tonight.

Are you coming to the party tonight?
Oh yeah.

With my girl, Tasha.

Her mom's like your biggest fan.

Oh well, bring her down too.

She lives in Virginia, but I'll buy her a CD.

And I'm gonna try and get me some of that fierce Kitty too.

Well, tonight might be your lucky night.

Oh, bring it on, girl.

I'm gonna go pick up that guitar.
Do you need anything?

No, just for you to be singing with me on stage tonight.

You know, somebody stole this guitar from my office.

f*cking bummer, right?

Yeah, f*cking bummer, dude.

Rock it on, sisters.

You gonna tell me when you're ready to drop that boy?

I don't know how to do this, you know?

And I can't, I can't, um...

You're so beautiful.

I'm so into you, and I can't handle it.

I don't want to feel this way when I know you're seeing other people.

I don't know.

No. God.

No, no. Jesus, it feels like f*cking high school. No.

You know what? The truth is, I'm just not as evolved as you.
I'm just not as evolved as you.

What?

I tried to tell myself that I can handle it.
But when I think about you with whoever I get jealous. I do. I get jealous.

And I don't want to be that person.

I don't want to be that person.

So, how did you find out about OurChart?

I was looking for music.

I was in a dancer ensemble up in Berkeley.

We were called h*m* Erectus.

It's, it's a really cool page.

I mean, you did a really good job on it.

Thanks.

The tools are kinda rudimentary, so...

Yeah, I know.

But we're gonna seriously upgrade soon.

It's just... I have this day job, you know, and they've been kind of policing me and stuff. So,

I'm looking for someone who can help with maintenance, and content. Stuff like that.
I'm a total geek.

When I lived in the Bay area, I floated for a bunch of info-tech companies.

Cool. So, what did you move to L.A.?

I get more work as a dancer, a lot of music videos sh**t here.

But I miss San Francisco.

There are pretty much no butch women in L.A.

You think so?
Well, no culture, no community.

Everyone's all into high fashion.

Female masculinity isn't celebrated here.

Yeah, I guess it's not, really.

Is that why you became a man?

Why I became a man.

No, I am a man. Intrinsically, you know?

I didn't mean to offend you.

There are a lot of reasons why people transition, and they're all legitimate as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, I love this site.

We don't have any money really, though.

Yeah, I know.
You said an intern.

Alice is, you know, she's drawing a business plan.

We're hoping we'll get investors.
But we'll see.

I'd like to work with you, Max.

I don't care about the money.

Cool.

Um...

.. yeah.

That's great. Thank you.
If you could just put that on the room.

So, do you little ones want anything from room service?

No, I'm good.

A banana split sundae?
And some tiramisu?

Absolutely.

You know,

I've only got them for the weekend while Winnie's on retreat at Yaddo, but

I don't know how people cope without a nanny.

Helena, are you really gonna get them a tiramisu and banana splits?

Well, yeah. Why not?

Well, I mean, who's paying for this?
Catherine?

Does she even know your kids are here?

Yeah, well, I mean, I did tell her.

Anyway, Catherine's in Majorca, but the time she gets back, I left double my winnings.

When she staked me in a game last week, I won $ , .

Jesus!
I know!

I'm good at this, Alice.
I've always been good at maths.

Catherine thinks I should even go pro.

Helena, I don't know.
This whole thing is really weird.

You know, I mean, does she live here?

Like, does she even have a house?

And why is she? What is she expecting?
Why does she want from you?

Well, I don't know. It's just...

It's quite normal. It's what rich people do, you know, rich people who travel and I tell you, Catherine, is the only one who's really stood by me and...

f*cking Midwest!

They are all such whims.
Catherine, hi.

I never made it to Majorca.

I've got as far as Milwaukee.

God damn pig farmers backed out of a deal.

The only saving grace is that there is a bigger game next Friday.

I just have to raise the difference.

Can you get them to turn that down?

Yes, of course.

I should go.
I need you to stay.

Just a while longer, when we'll go downstairs.

In fact, are you booked this evening?

Catherine, actually, uh... this is my friend Alice, you met her at the poker.

She is not the babysitter.

Not the babysitter.
Of course, Alice.

Stay for lunch.
We'll all go downstairs to the pool.

Can we go swimming, mummy?

That's a great idea.

They can swim while we eat.

You know, I've so many things to do.

So many things...
So, thank you though.

And it was very nice to meet you.

Again, 'cause we had met...

Great, I guess I'll see you later.
Right.

Okay.
Thanks for coming by.

Guys.
Bye.

We need a babysitter tonight.
Do you have one?

Catherine, I, I wasn't really expecting you back tonight. I mean, do you need us to get another place to stay or...

No, there's plenty of room for you brats.

Look, I'm sure the hotel can find a sitter for us.

Yeah, but actually, I do have plans.

I mean, I want to be with my children,

I'm even missing my friend's record release party tonight so I can be with them...
We're playing poker.

It's a $ , buy-in.

Hey!
Hi!

Come on in, come on in.

Shay's in the bedroom watching "Mr. Midi".

Shane, this is Deirdrah.

Can I go watch with them?
I love "Mr. Midi".

Sure, sure. Why don't you just make sure you're giving them diner by .

Yeah, there's pizzas and ice cream in the freezer.

What if they fall asleep in your bed?

Who's that?

She's the baby sitter.
She's fine.

If they fall asleep in my bed,

I'll sleep on the couch, what's the big deal.

Honey, you really need to get your own place.

I know, and I'm looking for one, I promise.

You look good.

Thank you. So are you.

Should we get the hell out of here?

Are you sure?
She's fine.

She's been doing babysitting for him for years.

So sweet.

Sweet?

It's so cute. So traditional.

Oh sh*t.

Don't be embarrassed.
I love that you're old-fashioned.

Well, would it be old-fashioned to me ask Miss Porter to sign this, for my mum?

Well, only if you call her Miss Porter.

You know what I could do?

I could have her call your mum.
She would have Kit call her on the phone.

Oh no, no, no. She'd freak out.

Just signing it, that'd be cool.

Yeah, of course.

Nobody's here.

Yeah, you're right. It's uh...

It's actually kinda early.

Kinda empty.

So what do you think we should do?

God, where are we?

We're home, darling.

You seem crazy about her.

What makes you say that?

Just the way you looked at her.

That look... I know that look.

You used to look at me like that, back in the day.

Are you in love with her?

God, Tina! I don't know.

I think you are.

It's way too soon. I don't, I don't even want to think about it.

Why isn't she here?

She's deaf.

Of course, I'm sorry.

Why isn't Henry here?

Oh. He's uh,

I don't know.

Clueless.

Of course, I'm sorry.

Uh, waiter, can I have... have an other?

I can't blame you for gloating.

I'm not gloating. I mean, really, the real reason that Jodi's not here is because she has...
Hello.

Hi.
Hi. How are you?

Good.
Oh, hi Tina.

I have good news for you.

That's looking good.
Great!

Oh, what's looking good for Tina?

Oh, Tina's company is trying to buy the movie rights to my book.

So, my agents are supposed to be here soon, and they... offers on the table and you're in the running. So, I'd like you to talk to them tonight.

What are the issues?

I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt, but, Jen, I don't understand. Why wouldn't you just choose Tina over the other buyers?

What do you mean?

Well, first of all, she's your friend.

And if all the offers are in the same ballpark,

I think it should just be a*t*matic.

Because she's my friend?

Absolutely.

So if I wanted a teaching position at your university, would you automatically hire me because I'm your friend?

If I were the dean of the English department.

Bette...

Hi!

Uh, my agents are here, Tina.

You should go talk to them if you wanna do this.

I can't wait.

It's incredible.

Thank you.

I just think it should be a*t*matic.

I mean, is that crazy?
I just think it should be a*t*matic.

That's one of the things I love about you.

What, that I'm a bombastic bully?

You're loyal and unswerving in your convictions.

Did I hurt you?
No.

What? What? What?

There's a seatbelt... the seatbelt is...

Put your fingers inside of me.

Please.

You know what? This is fantastic.

I feel like, I feel like I'm really there, in "Lez Girls".

You really captured him, babe.

Ladies...
Good to see you, Bette.

Did you see the Pettibon opening with the... project?

Actually, I was outta town.
But I heard it was a spectacular show.

I bought two drawings.

I am so f*cking excited.

Bette and I have a couple of Pettibon's.

You two...

No, not anymore. But we bought them when we were together.

Hi, ladies.
Oh, hey.

Hey guys.

Is everything okay?
Oh yeah, she's just a little nervous.
She'll be out soon.

Everybody got anything they need?

Yeah, we're great.
Thank you.

Excellent.

Thanks, Angus.
So, Tina, back to what we were talking about, thank you, beautiful proposal you submitted and we're considering it. But,

Fox Searchlight has a track record for... independant features.

Yeah, Fox Searchlight is fantastic but I've talked to Jenny and I've already told her how committed I am to the integrity of her project.

I know, but, Tina, at the end of the day, the project's gonna be outta your hands.

I don't... I'm sorry, but

I don't think um... that maybe you're aware of the things, the movies that

Tina's been involved with during the course of her carreer.

I mean, she found Sophia Coppola into the "Virgin Suicides".

Oh really?

Michel Gondry is thanking in every single one of his... speeches.

And frankly she's one of the best executives you'd ever worked with.

Not to mention the most honest.

What are they talking about?

A movie do. Nothing.

You know, you two are so f*cking hot and, I'm into that and...

Just make the call.

What?

You see this guy over there?

Last week he... about midnight...he raises the big blind... and agressive tables.

So, he's the mark.

Very good.

So you know what to do when the flop comes and the fat man goes all in?

Make him think he stands a chance?

That's my girl.

You've a real talent for the game, Helena.

We make a great team.

I wanna spend the night with you.

Hold on.

What would the children say?

Do you want it?

.

No...

You know what?

I'm gonna raise you!

Fold.

Cheers...

Hey, Alice. This is Grace, our new intern.

Hey Grace, it's so nice to meet you.

Max tells me you're a real wizz.

It's nice to meet you too.
I love your site.

Oh, thanks.
And I, I like your tee-shirt.
Let me see.

"w*r is terrorism with a bigger budget."

That's fantastic.

I saw one yesterday. It said, "Waging w*r to stop terrorism is like putting out a fire of gasoline"

Oh wait, I saw one.

"k*ll one, and it's m*rder, k*ll thousands, and it's foreign policy"

"We're k*lling people faster than we're making ennemies"

"America wake up and smell the catastrophy"

I like "God doesn't take sides in w*r".

Oh f*ck...

I'm sorry.

Alright you guys, doing her new single "Bareback", coming out tomorrow on Fierce Kitty Records, let's give it up for Kit Porter!

Ooh, you finally got into the Planet.

I like the way you walk

I like the way you walk

When you walk to me

I like the way you move

Like the way you mmm mmm

When you move with me

I wanna feel you through

My mind's made up on you

Want nothing in between

Just let me make you scream/i]

I wanna ride with you

Bareback wanna do you wanna take you

Bareback, wanna love you gotta make you know me

Can't do this with anyone but you, this...

Bareback loving, pushing me and shoving into

Love, love, love



You motherfuckin' liar! f*ck you!

You lyin', lowdown, nanny-f*ckin' m*therf*cker!

Who do you think I am, a motherfuckin' chump?

f*ck you, m*therf*cker!

Kit...
Go away!

Come on, open the door.
I need to talk to you.

Just...please, just let me talk to you.

I don't wanna see you.
I don't wanna see you!

Just go on, do what she says. I'll try.

Kit, hey, it's me.

He's gone.

f*ck you!

Excuse me?

Talk to me.

You protected him.

You protected him when you knew he was lying and cheating.

Kit, I wasn't protecting him.

I was protecting you.

I didn't want you to get hurt, that's what I told him.

I told him that he should break it off.

You told him?

I'm sorry.

Kit, I'm so sorry.

Papi, come on, get me outta here.

I am done with motherfuckin' men.
Get me outta here.

Alright, let's go.
Come on.

Usually I'd leave it on bank.
But we need it when we get to Majorca.

We?

I'm not going to Majorca...

Am I?

If you make it worth my while...

It's more like if you make it worth my while.

Excellent.

Look, I didn't know you were that upset.

Why don't you just come up so we can talk about it?

What is there to talk about?

All that sh*t you people are spouting on T-shirts, wearing slogans while other people are wearing armor?

Oh yeah, what so great about wearing armor?

You and I live in different worlds, Alice.

Yeah. I live in a world where people talk about things.

Why don't you take off your armor and just come upstairs?

You're coming in.

I'm not letting you go like this.

Oh yeah?
Yeah.

I'm gonna get your ass upstairs.

You're about to try the best mojito you've ever had in her life.

You have no idea.

It's good, right?

Ok, alright. We can come back.
We can come back.

Come on, let me show you what it's like to be treated like a lady.

Those people were so ignorant.
It makes me insane.

Well, they're not my people, they're Jenny's agents.

Yeah, and what about that girl?

She works for you.
Grace?

Yeah, but you saw it, I was introduced to her for the first time.

Come on, Alice. Stop frighten, ok?

That's your world.
You were right in there with them, they're all there, knee-jerk liberal bullshit.

Yeah, but, that's America.

It supposedly what you're fighting for.

It's a little thing called freedom of speech, remember?

Yeah, I remember.

Something Iraq couldn't even dream of it until we came in.

Oh, plea... Okay, yeah, now they have the freedom to starve and the freedom to be blowing up everyday?

We built hospitals, schools, electrical systems.
We put it in public sewer systems...

Fine! Okay, but how much of that was destroyed by us in the first place?

It's all because Bush needs his oil and because Halliburton needs to protect their investments.

I mean, God knows who else is making money from this f*cking w*r.

The soldiers I know went because we had to and we tried to do the best that we could.

And yeah, okay, I know some of it's a mess, but I'm proud of the soldiers that I served with, and I'm so tired of people talkin' sh*t without even knowin' what it's really like to be in it.

Well, then tell me what it's like to be in it.

He seemed...
Oh my God!

Where you're going?

I have to check on the children.

They're fine.

Yeah, but I...
They're fine.

I've got to...

Show me the money.

Show me the money.

Show me the money...

Yeah, some of them are poor kids through over there because, back to they come from, nobody's given them a chance.

Right, and we treat them like second-class citizens and we expect them to die so some rich guy can get richer.

And then the kids in the ghettos, please, they're like...

You think I come from a f*cking ghetto?

I didn't say you.
You know, some people are in the m*llitary because

they wanna serve their country.

Yeah, we believe in what we stand for.

I'm sorry if we don't live our lives wearing trandy fake-ass... T-shirts that scream out bullshit about why do we k*ll people.

You think it's trandy to not wanna k*ll people?

The soldiers that I served with don't wanna k*ll people!

Like what the f*ck?
Do you think I wanna k*ll people?!

Then why are you there?
The question is

why the f*ck am I here?!

Because we wanna f*ck each other!

What the f*ck are you doing?

I'm taking you sh*t to the f*cking bedroom.

It's not that I don't understand what you were saying about recruitment.

Like, I really get that but I just feel like...

Oh, shut up and let me f*ck you.
Okay.

Why are we here?

'Cause you said you wanted me to take you home.

'Cause you said, you were going to treat me like a lady.

f*ck me, so I forget.

You're with me, beautiful?

Alright.

You had too much drink, princess.

Let's put you to bed.

You know,

I think if d*ck Cheney didn't have investments in Iraqi oil that... I don't know if Bush really...

Shut up.

Please...

Your bush is the only bush I wanna think about, you know.

No.
Yes.

No, you didn't say that! Oh no!
Yes, yes, yes.

Alright. Can you tell me what time it is?

Oh yeah. That's minutes to go, minutes less than when it was minutes.

You're gonna get a time out.
Oh, I like that.

No, it's just cute that you're nervous.
I'm not nervous.

Just a little.
No, I'm not.

Hey Shay, do you guys choose boards out?

Yeah, we both like the Darkstars.

It's fantastic.

We're just gonna practice out on the halfway.

Yeah, helmets, helmets, helmets.
That's right, right.

Everyone's helmet on the stage.
It's your job, alright, buddy?

Babe, where are you going?

Home.

Do you know where you are?

At your place.

Yeah, which is in Echo Park.

Let me drive you home.

Did we...?

Look, I could never take advantage of a lady in a compromised situation.

You mean, I didn't make the chart?

The chart?
Yeah,

I didn't make the m*therf*cking chart...?

It's not too tight, is it?
No.

No?

You're ready to go, miss.
Okay. Thanks.

Again, everything that I'm seeing these days is either dirty or...

dark and disgusting.

I know, and what about outdoor space?

Don't you want something with a courtyard or a garden or something?

Yeah, idyllous.
I'd love outdoor space but realistically I can't really afford it.

If you're just prepared to go a little bit further east, it's totally possible.

Have you thought about Silverlake?

Well, I'm not against Silverlake.

There's a really beautiful + and a ... it's just above the reservoir.

It's got like a terrace in the master bedroom, it's got little back yard.

Really?

It's a tiny bit more than you wanna spend, but I bet I can make they come down for you.

You could?
I think so.

Do you want me to call?
Would you?

Yeah, I'll call it today.
Oh, I appreciate that.

What's that?

Cream.

Heavy cream?

Clotted cream.

Don't tell me you're watchin' your weight.

Oh, please. That's some white-girl sh*t.

Oh, damn, it's good.

It's the salty... with the sweet cream.

Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry.

You designed these yourself?

Super cute.

No, no, we have a few guys doing it for us.

You sell any place else? I bet they'll be really popular if you go mass market.

Yeah, that's what I keep telling her.

No, right now... the website.

It's not easy.

Hey, Shane?

Yes, sir?

Can I go to Carlos' birthday party next week end, at Go Kart World.

That's in Carlson.

It's a great place for birthdays party.
Kids love it.

Say please.
Please.

One more time?
Please...

Okay, fine. Next week end?

Yeah.
Okay, you got it.

Thank you.
Quite welcome.

Yeah, 'cause I really think you could sell these at Fred Segal. and it wouldn't take anything away from WAX.

Absolutely, yeah.
It's a good idea.

This looks great on me.
I think so.

Try it on.

I'm sorry.
Excuse me for a second.

Shay? What's wrong?

What are you looking at?

Dad!

How's my little man, huh?

I'm good.
Yeah?
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