15x21 - Good Shepherd

[bunniefuu]

[CRYSTAL FIGHTERS' "WILD ONES" PLAYS]

[HORNS HONKING]

♪♪

MEREDITH: Almost all human cells reproduce on a cycle.

♪ I thought I was a star ♪

Up to % of your heart is replaced each year.

♪ From the sky I freefall ♪

Red blood cells are replaced every four months.

Thank you.

Skin cells, every two weeks.

♪ 'Cause I thought I was a star ♪

Uh.

♪ How long, tell me how long an this go on? ♪

Want to get a pizza or something?

I know a great place.

Well, it's late.
I should, uh, go to sleep.

It's only : in Seattle.

Yeah, but we're not in Seattle.

We're in New York, and we are doing a complicated surgery on New York time in the morning.

Okay, fine. Room service... in bed, then sleep.

We agreed. Just sex, no sleepovers.

But we're out of town.

- Bend the rules.
- No, it's not a rule, so much as the basic tenet of this relationship.

- Which is that it's not a relationship?
- Right.

No complications.
My life is already full of them.

But it's not that complicated.
W-We have adjoining rooms.

They're practically the same.

And yet, they are not.

But neurons,

the cells that make up the brain and spinal cord,

don't regenerate.

I feel used!

Objectified!

Hungry!

♪ And we rage on till we're blazing in the sun ♪

Okay. What will it take for you to let me go to sleep tonight, guilt-free?

- ♪ La la la la la la ♪
- ♪ How long? ♪

Pizza for breakfast.

Deal.

♪ And we rage on ♪

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- ♪ Till we're blazing in the sun ♪

♪♪

I'm still questioning pizza as a breakfast food,

- but this is a really excellent slice.
- Mm-hmm.

How'd you know about this place?

Mm.

It was part of my wish.

You wished for perfect pizza?

From a fairy godmother?

Cancer kids who are in as bad a shape as I was get wishes.

Osteosarcoma. Age .

Full remission.

What'd you wish for?

- Baseball game at Shea Stadium.
- [CHUCKLING] Yeah.

I got to meet my favorite player, Dwight Gooden.

I remember thinking, "I'll be back."

And the next time was with the Mariners as the team doctor.

That is impressive.

Nothing will b*at that first time out here.

I ate here five times.

- Even got a picture out front.
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, and there was this great donut place right around the corner. Um...

Gotham Donuts!

Oh! Best glazed donut I've ever had.

That was, uh...well, that was our last trip together before the divorce.

Uh, I guess this city reminds me of better times.

That is the exact opposite of me.

I grew up here.

Well, not exactly here.

I was like half an hour away in Westchester.

But my life in New York was definitely not better times.

Wait. You're saying we could've had donuts?!

[SIREN WAILING, HORN HONKS]

- Admit it.
- blocks was not that far.

And when you walk, you see things

- you never would have from a cab.
- You're right.

We totally would've missed that group of mimes

- yelling at each other.
- And the rat dragging the bagel.

[LAUGHING] That was so gross.

- Amy?
- [GASPS]

Oh, my God!

- Uh...
- Amy!

Nancy!

[GASPS] Yeah.

Nancy Shepherd. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, Amelia's sister.

You must be Owen.

Yes!

This is my husband.

♪♪

Nice to meet you, Nancy.

I've heard so much about you.

Do you work here?

I'm covering the chief of OB's maternity leave.

Ironic, right?

How about you?

Everything okay?

Yeah.

No... We're here for a patient.

All the way from Seattle? Wow.

You must be very in demand.

I guess that's why we never hear from you.

Yep.

Been pretty busy since I saw you last.

I operated on Catherine Fox herself.

Might've read about it.

Also got married.

Aah.

- Right. Welcome to the family.
- [CHUCKLES]

We've got some pretty deep-seated dysfunction, but [CHUCKLES] you've probably figured that out by now.

Ah, what family doesn't?

Do you have sisters?

I do, so I get it.

We should catch up.

Come for dinner, both of you.

Ah! We can't. [CHUCKLES]

Taking off tonight.

She's got a big surgery in Seattle tomorrow.

- I do.
- Oh.

Well, at least I got to see you.

Halley's Comet comes around more than you do.

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, uh... call Mom sometime, kiddo.

It's the kind thing to do.

♪♪

Okay.

Thanks for that. [CLEARS THROAT]

Let's go. [SIGHS]

I need to find a shower so I can wash that "kiddo" off of me before surgery.

- [ VIDEO GAME BEEPING]
- MAN: You got this!

- Oh, man.
- [CHUCKLES]

Victory Lane! You b*at me again.

- No, man, you totally threw that.
- Nice race.

Okay, I'm on way too many pain meds for you to be losing to me.

- Come on.
- Hey, Dr. Lew.

Jonah, these are your surgeons, Doctors Shepherd and Lincoln.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Uh, this is my brother Brady.
- Hi.

You know, I-I would've left him at home, but he's my ride.

- Mm.
- [LAUGHS]

Jonah Mays, .

He was diagnosed with progressive kyphoscoliosis at age .

He's had multiple posterior spine fusions with instrumentation from T to L to correct the curvature.

Yeah, it's, uh, pretty much my entire spinal cord.

I've had... surgeries in years.

Some due to growth, some due to the condition's progression.

Yeah, the metal rods bust right through his skin.

- Can we take a look?
- Yeah.

You're in good hands, Jonah.

I'll leave you to it.

[SIGHS]

Looks like the degree of angulation

- has pushed the hardware off the bolts.
- Mm.

But you... you can fix that, though, right?

Dr. Lincoln and I will remove the rods.

We'll insert a nylon tether, which will stabilize your spine.

It'll allow room for growth, which means fewer surgeries in the future.

Good.

'Cause, uh, you know, I've got big plans.

I'm moving to California.

I just got accepted to UC Berkeley.

- Go, Bears!
- Congratulations.

- Thank you.
- One, uh... One step at a time, bro.

You're worried. I get it.

I mean, w-who would take you to physical therapy and make sure that you got to the doctor's on time?

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what you've always done for me.

[LAUGHS]

But I won't need it as much, all right?

LINK: Okay. We've got your measurements.

We will be back to prep you for surgery

- after we compare them to the scans.
- Okay.

Looks like we can use a vats to anchor the bolts at T .

Just like we planned.

Should be done by : .

Ah, that gives us almost another hours of observation before we head back to Seattle.

That's amazing news!

I was just gonna leave you a note, trying to...

What? What? Uh, what's amazing? What?

I just heard you say it's at least hours till your flight leaves, so you can come for dinner.

John and the kids are upstate visiting his mom, so it'll be quiet.

I'll make your favorite chocolate cream pie.

I... I no longer eat, um, sugar or gluten.

I'm not taking no for an answer.

Fine, make the pie.

Good.

Text me when you're on your way.

See ya!

Can't wait!

So...you like pie, right?

♪♪

Five minutes in the lobby is one thing.

Dinner is a terrible idea, and I'm not going.

You can't make me go alone... it's like sending Red Riding Hood to visit the wolf.

I'll be having pizza and donuts in the city.

- You're more than welcome to j...
- I'm begging.

This is me begging.

Aren't I cute when I beg?

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Kripen, call extension .

LINK: Okay, Jonah.

Pre-op time.

Are we leaving now?

Why? You winning?

Yeah. But, uh, also... [CLEARS THROAT]

Brady went to the cafeteria.

He said he was gonna go get an apple, but, uh, I guarantee you he comes back with fries.

You know, we have this thing about saying bye to each other ever since our parents d*ed six years ago in a car accident.

And, yeah, it was as dramatic and tragic as your face is right now.

- Oh, sorry. I...
- [CHUCKLES]

I'm gonna give you something to relax you, and Dr. Lincoln is going to mark you for surgery.

- Cool.
- What are you gonna study at Cal?

Uh, environmental science.

Or literature.

Or something I haven't heard of before.

I-I'm not sure.

Renaissance man. Nice.

Yeah, well, you know, uh, knowing what you don't know is the first step to enlightenment.

You will fit right in at Berkeley.

So, did you always know you wanted to be a doctor?

I have four older siblings who are all doctors.

I'm not sure it ever occurred to me to do anything else.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

Ah, told ya!

- Fries.
- You want one?

I'm good, thanks.

Uh, but Jonah's good to go.

Got it, okay.

Uh, hold these for me?

Thanks, Doc.

Till next time, brother.

Mm.

Until next time.

Here. And, uh, take that.

You need practice, 'cause the next time I see you, I'm-a kick your butt for real.

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

All right.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

Signal looks good.

Good. Angle looks good.

So... any food allergies?

Nancy will want to know.

Doesn't matter because I'm not going.

[SIGHS] Please?

The begging is cute... don't get me wrong.

And still, no.

You shouldn't go, either.

Life's too short.

Life is too short for what it will turn into if I don't go.

One dinner with Nancy, and I avoid months of family gossip and drama.

They already think I'm a train wreck.

Well, they're wrong.

Have you met me?

Amelia Shepherd.

Never told my family I got divorced.

Ready to attach the tether?

So they don't get you.

And what... they're mad because you and Owen eloped?

We didn't elope. We had a wedding.

They were invited. They just didn't come.

Wait. None of your sisters were there?

Or my mom.

Or brother.

- He gets a pass.
- Out of the country?

Dead. But probably judging me from the grave.

It's complicated.

That's some serious sibling rivalry.

Well, not every family is Jonah and Brady.

So why go to this dinner?

[MONITOR BEEPING]

I was... flown to New York to perform a rare and complicated surgery.

I'm here with my "husband," who is shockingly handsome and ever so kind.

This dinner is a chance for me to... I don't know.

Brag? Prove them wrong?

I... I'm not sure.

I'm just sure that I have to go, and that, if you go with me, I will make it worth your while in very creative ways that you will enjoy.

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

Where did we meet?

At the hospital.

And how long have we been together?

Years, but it feels like minutes because love is so...

Okay, we don't need poetry.

We just need to keep our story straight.

What color are my eyes?

You think they're gonna quiz me on the color of your eyes?

Anything is possible.

♪ Naa naa naa naa ♪

Sometimes they look green.

Sometimes they look blue, depending on the...

Good.

♪ Sunshine, blue sky ♪

What is Owen's favorite pastime?

Blues guitar.

No.

No, watching World w*r II movies on PBS.

But blues guitar is mine, and Nancy's never met Owen, so can't I just answer as myself?

Well, I don't know your life.
I know Owen's.

You could learn it.

♪ Flying free ♪

Crap. We don't have rings!

Half the surgeons I know don't wear rings.

- Right. Right.
- Yeah.

We're surgeons.

We're smart. No rings.

All of that is actually true.

[SIGHS DEEPLY] At least it's just Nancy.

Better her than Liz or... God forbid... Kathleen.

Kathleen is the worst. Kathleen's like Martha Stewart if Martha Stewart also had a license to diagnose you with a personality disorder.

Nancy's bossy, but she's also the most forgiving.

And she does make a really nice pie.

Plus, she is gonna love you.

And by you, I mean Owen, who really likes to...

Watch World w*r II movies.

Thank you.

You're gonna be great!

Also, you can't drink.

- Owen doesn't drink.
- He does.

I just don't want you to screw anything up.

♪ My kinda happiness ♪

♪ No, I won't stop ♪

LINK: This is quite a place.

Ah, her husband's an investment banker.

They moved here from a different giant house in Connecticut after he got some big promotion.

Wait.

We never had a honeymoon... Owen and I.

He wanted Mexico, I wanted Paris, so we did neither.

Instead of doing both?

Got it. Got it.

- No compromises, even on the honeymoon.
- Mm.

♪ No, I won't stop ♪

♪ I got my groove, oh, yeah ♪

- [SIGHS]
- [DOORBELL RINGS]

[WHISPERING] This is a terrible idea.

[WHISPERING] Now you figure that out?

♪ With every move I make ♪

You made it.

- We did.
- Come on in.

The house is a mess.

Don't look too close.

♪ My kinda happiness ♪

You're right on time.

We were just about to start on the appetizers.

We?

KATHLEEN: Where do you keep your corkscrew?

We got to get it in before she gets here.

Is that... That sounds like...

Kathleen! You're here!

Kathleen is my...

Other sister.

Yep.

Well, I guess I'll put the wine away.

♪♪

- You wouldn't have come if you knew.
- No!

Fun! Family reunion!

Is, uh, Liz gonna pop out of the closet next? Or Mom?

Please give me more credit than that.

I wouldn't just spring Mom on you.

I did call Liz, but she was out of town.

Ah, too bad.

We could've all compared lives to make sure yours are still better.

It's not like that at all.

No. This is about Nancy's compulsive need to fix all of us.

We are a family.

We haven't seen each other in years.

You haven't even met Owen.

I'm sure we can all be civil for one night.

[CHUCKLES]

- Kathleen.
- Owen. [CHUCKLES]

You were in the Army, right?

Uh, where were you stationed?

Iraq. Baghdad.

[CHUCKLING] My husband's traveling there.

H-He's a diplomat.

Any recommendations?

Let's move inside before we start the interrogation.

The Abbasid Palace is quite beautiful.

It was, uh, built in the th century overlooking the Tigris River.

- I'll mention it.
- Mm.

H-How high does the temperature get there in July?

It gets, uh, pretty hot.

Um, I'm sorry. Could I use your restroom?

Of course. Yeah, I'll show you where.

[CLEARS THROAT]

It's gonna take them about five minutes to figure out I'm not Owen.

You knew about that palace in Iraq.

Ninth grade World Civ presentation!

That's about all I remember.

I-I might've been able to handle Nancy, but that Martha Stewart one, she's got teeth.

Okay. You're right.
We got to get out of here.

I mean, best case scenario, the whole night's just them reminding me that I'm the Shepherds' black sheep.

- I see what you did there.
- That was the nickname that they gave me in high school.

Black Sheep.

We are not subtle people.

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna go back out there for a few minutes.

We're gonna say we got paged to the hospital.

Because we are not in high school.

We are grown-ass surgeons with medical emergencies.

Not in high school.
Thank you for the reminder.

♪♪

NANCY: I'm putting the avocados on the side for you.

Oh, that's okay. Uh, Owen loves them, so I sorta got used to them.

He's great, right?

Oh, I'm sure Kathleen's got him cornered.

Uh, maybe I should just go check.

- [TIMER DINGS]
- Oh, can you grab that?

[SIGHS]

You are not at all what I pictured.

Trauma surgeon.

Army.

I thought you'd be a lot more...

Rugged?

- Armed?
- [LAUGHS]

Uptight.

But Amelia loves to be unpredictable, so... maybe it makes sense.

It keeps things interesting.

She has a history of false starts when it comes to weddings.

- Well, we're definitely married.
- [LAUGHS]

I'm saying congrats on not being abandoned at the altar.

She would never do that.

Oh, yes, she would.

She is a Houdini-level escape artist.

First sign things might get hard, and she is out the door.

I'm surprised she didn't bolt when she saw me here.

[SILVERWARE CLINKING LIGHTLY]

She thinks we g*ng up on her.

She provokes it, though.

Honestly, I always thought she was more addicted to drama than the dr*gs.

But, I mean... good thing she found someone with Army training, right?

[CHUCKLES] What's that old slogan?

"No mission too difficult"?

Hey!

So, Jonah's scans came back early.

- We should go.
- Ah.

We could review them in the morning.

Um, I know you were anxious to see them.

I think we should spend some time with your family.

Oh, um, well, we might need to look at his labs, though.

Oh, you know, I just looked at them.

And we're good.

O... Kay.

We'll stay.

[INSECTS CHIRPING, DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

NANCY: Do you ever run into Meredith?

I do.

I read she won a Harper Avery.

Uh, they renamed it the Catherine Fox Award.

But, yeah. Uh, she's doing well.

Amelia's doing groundbreaking research, as well.

Finding non-addictive methods of pain management.

Well, Amelia would know how important that is.

How about I get that wine now?

It's fine. Really.

You should be more concerned about the pills in your bathroom.

I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

Too late.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Um... I should take this.

[SIGHS]

Oh, it's okay. I'm good.

Go ahead. Amelia said you love them.

I do!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- [ LEO CRYING]
- What's happening? Is he okay?

Hey. Did you forget to pack Roodle?

I'm pretty sure I put it in the Bag.

What about the one your mom got him?

Yeah, I can't find it.

- That's why we have a backup.
- [CRYING CONTINUES]

Oh. Try giving him one of his other stuffed animals.

I'm kind of losing it over here.

Well, he probably shoved it in the couch.

Okay, it's not... it's not here.

It's not... wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Here. Found it. Here's Roodle.

There you go. Thank you.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

What's the temperature like in Baghdad in July?

Well, once it got to degrees, and I cooked eggplant in the sun. Why?

Uhhhh, no reason.

- Okay. Thank you.
- Sure.

[BREATHES DEEPLY] Roodle's back.

Roodle is back!

♪♪

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

KATHLEEN: Oh, my God! No. [LAUGHS]

NANCY: No way!

I don't believe you.

- Oh!
- What's, uh, going on?

Owen claims he can debone the fish in one fell swoop.

Well, you know, I work a lot with bones as a, uh...

Trauma surgeon.

I'm impressed he knows it's called a paring Kn*fe.

[LAUGHS] I-I'm not convinced anyone can do it.

LINK: Can and...

- did.
- Aah!

Oh, my God!

Can you do that on people?

Uh, never tried, so I'll just say yes.

Oh! We love him.

And I love her.

Okay. There's just one thing I don't understand.

Out of all of us, how did you end up with the hottest husband?

Aah!

- Ooh!
- [LAUGHING] What? Ah!

Amelia was raving about your pie on the way over.

You just made Nancy's day.

I-I'll take half that piece.

Oh, you can put the other one right on my plate.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- CAROLYN: I hear my girls!

- I didn't call her. I swear!
- [DOOR CLOSES]

I may have accidentally mentioned it.

This place is so obnoxiously huge, I can never find my way...

There's my baby girl!

- Oh!
- Hi, Mom!

Oho, oh!

- Let me look at you.
- [SIGHS]

- Gorgeous!
- Mm!

Oh, I've always liked you with shorter hair.

Are you going gray under there?

Because your grandmother was completely white by the time she was .

Mom, please.

And who is this handsome fellow?

This is my husband, Owen.

No, it's not.

Of course it is. And he's fantastic.

KATHLEEN: You know, we were surprised, too, but she picked a good one.

Well, I'm sure he's great.

But when I visited Derek, I met Owen Hunt.

And this is not him.

♪♪

- [SIGHS]
- Okay.

I'm getting the wine.

Uh-huh.

♪♪

Who is he? Who are you?

He's my friend and colleague, Atticus Lincoln.

You can call me Link.

What the hell were you thinking?

She wasn't.

- That's the narcissism.
- [LIQUID POURING]

Were you even married?

Yes! Yes!

Owen and I were married, and now... we're not.

CAROLYN: You're separated?

Divorced.

NANCY: You were married less than a year.

Actually, a little more.

But less than two.

I guess. What... What does it matter?

[CHUCKLES] Nancy and Liz owe me bucks.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

You bet I'd get divorced?

For what it's worth,

I thought it would last longer than it did.

Okay, you bet on my marriage after you didn't come to my wedding?

You didn't come to my wedding.
You were in jail.

She came to mine.

Uncle Ron walked in on her

screwing that usher in the coat room.

CAROLYN: I would've come with proper notice, but I'd barely heard of Owen before the invitations arrived.

I didn't know if there was going to be a wedding.

Okay, do you have any idea how hurtful and insulting that... this is why I didn't even bother to call you when I found out I had a brain tumor.

This is why.

CAROLYN: Amelia Frances Shepherd, you have a brain tumor and you didn't tell your mother?!

You have a brain tumor?

Are we supposed to feel better that your fake husband

- doesn't know, either?
- Had.

I h... I had a benign Grade I Meningioma that they removed.

NANCY: Completely?

'Cause this seems pretty brain damaged.

I'd say more like delusional.

But, you know, par for the course.

Remember when she bought herself that ring and she told us all she was engaged to that guy she dated in high school?

He couldn't afford to buy the ring himself.

She got my car stuck in the ditch, walked home, said somebody must've stolen it,

but left the keys inside.

That was years ago, and I made amends!

Or when she was so drunk at Uncle Adam's funeral that she dropped her end of the casket.

I wasn't drunk. I was high.

And, yeah, I had some bad years.

You don't have to bring up every transgression.

[CHUCKLING] Yeah, we don't have that kind of time.

The point is all that crazy happened before the brain tumor.

You've always been impulsive.

You don't think things through or the impact they're gonna have on other people.

You just do whatever the hell you want.

Yeah, and then you concoct these preposterous stories to cover the truth that inevitably surfaces.

Okay, girls, that's enough.

Bringing fake Owen to dinner tonight might just be the most demented thing you've ever done.

And if you're really clean now, then we can't blame the dr*gs or the tumor, which brings us back to personality disorder.

Okay, you don't know me.

You have not seen me for years.

I am trapped in your minds and on your stairs at about years old, and I am not that person anymore.

I am sober.

I am responsible.

And I am a neurosurgeon at the top of my field.

I save lives every day.

In fact, I am the chief of neuro at one of the top hospitals in the country.

Because Derek was moving and gave you the job.

Listen, um [CLEARS THROAT] I'm new to, uh, all of this.

And I haven't known Amelia that long, but I wanted us to stay for dinner tonight so you could meet the woman that I've been getting to know, because she is not at all the person you are describing.

Link, you don't have to...

She is a brilliant surgeon, the kind you fly across the country when you need the best.

She just performed a surgery that very few human beings on the planet can do.

She is a respected teacher and mentor.

She cares about her patients and her colleagues.

And she's beautiful and funny and kind and strong.

They're sleeping together, right?

- Obviously.
- She's overcome a lot of adversity.

And, sure, she feels her feelings in a big way, but that makes her better than most people I know, not worse, because it makes her authentic.

She was an amazing mom to Betty, and still kinda is to Leo.

I mean, even if she doesn't have legal custody, that baby is so lucky to have her in his...

Wait... did you just say "mom"?

Did you say "baby"?

- Well... crap.
- [SIGHS]

You have a baby?

Baby or tumor... which is crazier?

Who's Betty? I'm going with baby.

You never tell me anything.

[BREATHES SHARPLY] Come on.

[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING]

Houdini.

♪♪

You okay?

♪♪

I said we shouldn't go.

I said we shouldn't stay!

Wow, okay.

So your sisters are t*rrorists, but now I'm your problem?

♪♪

[SIGHS]

Look, everything was going fine until your mom called us on our bluff.

And I know it got a little rough...

A little rough?

It was a lifetime of humiliating mistakes and dirty laundry on display.

I don't care about your laundry.

No, I care. You were pain management.

You were my human blue light, mood-enhancing when placed over my body.

And now you know too much.

And I'm... I can't.

♪♪

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

[SCOFFS]
- Son of a...

Jonah's in respiratory distress.

We need to get to Fox Medical Center in Manhattan, please, as fast as you can.

[SIGHS]

- He's bending by the minute.
- He's exaggerating.

I'm fine. I'll... I'll be okay.

- Ow! [GRUNTS]
- Jonah, we took a look at your scans,

- and the tether just doesn't...
- Oh, please don't say it.

Your lungs are compressed.

We're gonna have to replace the rod so you can breathe.

But, uh, I-I have to...
[GROANS] I have plans.

W-W-What if we tighten the tether?

That's not how it works. I'm sorry.

The rods don't work.

Okay, I-I'll need new ones again by the end of the year.

- The tether didn't even last for a day.
- W-What if...

Jonah, they said there's no other way, okay?

T-There's always another way.

That's what you said when Mom and Dad d*ed.

I-I was scared because of how many people want to adopt somebody with my condition... and you said that you'd find a way, and you did.

You quit law school so you could take care of me.

You can still have big plans. Okay?

- Take classes here at community co...
- That's not what I want!

[SIGHS]

There has to be something else.

A vertebral column resection.

- What's that?
- Dr. Shepherd!

We would remove the vertebrae causing the curvature and replace it with a titanium cage that would protect your spinal cord.

It's a very risky, very complex surgery with many potential complications.

It could result in paralysis, even death.

Mm. But if it works?

It would permanently correct the deformity.

You can... You can do it now?

- I don't recommend it.
- Yes.

It is risky.

But if you decide that it's what you want, we could do it.

- I want it.
- No, no, no, no way.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Look, man. You've... Y-You had everything.

Yale Law School, tons of friends, an awesome girlfriend.

Y-Y-You were even c-captain of that weird ultimate Frisbee team.

Hey, man, we were... we were league champions.

You gave up everything.

Now you have h-hospital food and waiting rooms.

I like the fries here.

You're the world's best brother.

Okay? Y-You're my personal hero.

[BREATHING QUICKLY]

But I'm .

I want this surgery, and I'm gonna do it no matter what.

But I'd rather have you on... on my side.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I can't lose you, too.

You're not gonna lose me.

This isn't the part where I die.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

This is the part where I'm brave and it pays off.

Look at her.

Look at her eyes.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

She says she can do it.

♪♪

Until next time, brother.

Until next time. [BREATHES SHARPLY]

♪♪

He asked about his options.

We could paralyze him.

A woman just became quadriplegic on our table.

That was out of our control.

Exactly. There are no guarantees.

Our patient has to come first.

I am putting him first. This is what he wants.

This is what you want because you've still got something to prove.

Do I need to find someone else to do this with me?

Because I will.

Amelia, I'm saying it's been... a rough night.

I'm saying y-your sisters just treated you like a teenager.

They questioned your surgical skills.

I can't care what they think.

You think you don't care?! [SCOFFS]

I just spent the night pretending I was Owen!

This is not about them! I cannot let them define me!

If I did, I would still be the messed-up baby of the family, the person that I revert to when I am with them.

And that is not who I am!

I know that!

I'm asking if you know that.

I'm asking if you're okay.

I'm asking if you are sure you're not doing this surgery to prove something to people who clearly have no understanding of you at all.

Jonah deserves a life that is more than a cycle of surgery after surgery.

It's what he wants.

And I know I can do it.

Okay.

♪ I remember the minute ♪

♪ It was like a switch was flipped ♪

Vertebral column's out.

- Get me the titanium cage.
- ♪ I was just a kid ♪

Careful of distraction on the cord.

♪ Who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up ♪

♪ And suddenly, it fit ♪

♪♪

♪ God, that was so long ago, ♪

- ♪ Long ago, long ago ♪
- [MONITOR BEEPING]

NEUROPHYSIOLOGIST: We just lost the signal.

The cage spread too far.

There's too much traction on the spinal cord.

♪ I was little, I was weak, perfectly naive ♪

- He's paralyzed.
- So we revert to where we were before we lost signal.

♪ And I grew up too quick ♪

♪ Now you won't see all that I have to lose ♪

- Dr. Shepherd...
- Shh!

- ♪ And all I've lost in the fight ♪
- Please.

♪ To protect it ♪

♪ I won't let you in, I swore never again ♪

- [MONITOR BEEPS]
- Signal's back.

I got it.

He is not paralyzed.

♪ I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected ♪

♪♪

♪ I want to break these bones till they're better ♪

♪ I want to break them right and feel alive ♪

♪ You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong ♪

♪ My healing needed more than time ♪

♪ When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things ♪

♪ I see the familiar ♪

♪ I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too ♪

♪ Now I'm a broken mirror ♪

♪ But I can't let you see all that I have to lose ♪

♪ All I've lost in the fight to protect it ♪

No neurological deficits. How do you feel?

- Like I'm going to Cali.
- [CHUCKLES]

How long should he, uh, stay off his feet?

A day or two. It's good for him to walk.

Ease into it, though.

Your doctors here will oversee your follow-up, but you know how to reach us.

Wait. So that's it?

You guys change my whole damn life and then you just leave?

Well, come see us.

Seattle is a short plane ride away from Berkeley.

True.

Thank you.

Thank you guys for...

[BREATHES DEEPLY] giving me a future.

You were brave.

And it paid off.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

[WIND RUSHING]

[ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Thank you, uh, for...

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

You were brave, and it paid off.

Do you want to go for, uh... get something to eat?

No, um...

No, I need to walk.

I'll see you on the plane.

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Brady.

You okay?

[SIGHS] Yeah.

I just don't know what to do.

Jonah's gonna be fine.

[CHUCKLES] I know. And I'm glad.

I just...

I don't know what I'm gonna do... without him, you know?

Would it be weird, you know... w-w-would it... would it be weird if I just followed him to California and just... I don't know... was... was nearby?

Was... [BREATHES DEEPLY]

- I mean, he's...
- He's your brother.

I get it.

I miss my brother every day.

But maybe try not to follow him to college.

Yeah.

Maybe try to give him some breathing room to become whoever he is outside your shadow.

♪♪

And then visit.

[SNIFFLES]

Yeah.

Thank you.

♪♪

[CELLPHONE KEYS CLICKING]

♪♪

[CELLPHONE BLOOPS]

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

CAROLYN: Hey, kiddo.

♪♪

Can we... go somewhere and, uh, talk?

♪♪

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

What... What happened with Owen?

It just... didn't work out.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Do you think I sabotage relationships?

That I don't know how to love?

[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]

Well.

That answers that.

[CHILDREN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

- CHILD: I got you!
- [BICYCLE BELL DINGS]

[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]

I remember when you were learning to ride a bike.

[CHUCKLES] Derek and your sisters were zipping all over the neighborhood, and you were desperate to join them.

And so you... you, uh, pulled that old purple bike out of the shed.

You know, the one with the... the streamers hanging off the handlebars.

Mm. Those things were all ripped out by the time [CHUCKLING] that bike was mine.

[CHUCKLES] And you refused to use training wheels because you said that was for babies.

And you wouldn't let me help, either.

I had to... I had to spy on you from the kitchen window.

You don't know how hard that was.

Watching you fall over and over again.

My other kids didn't like to fail, but... but you...

Okay. Yeah, Mom, I get it.

One time you took this... this big spill, and you... and you ripped open your pants.

And by the time I ran out, you had pulled that... that old ratty bike up, and... and you were halfway down the block.

Every time you fell down, you got up and came back stronger.

But not that you... that you didn't care about falling, but... just you weren't afraid of it.

And that's what made you... what makes you... out of all the kids... the most like your father.

♪♪

[INHALES DEEPLY]

After he d*ed, it was hard to... be around any...

- anything... that reminded me of him.
- ♪ All of your days ♪

- And... [SIGHS]
- ♪ All your days ♪

♪ Stay safe inside ♪

- ...Derek said he'd watch out for you.
- ♪ Stay safe inside ♪

And he did his best,

- but... he wasn't your mother.
- ♪ All your time ♪

- ♪ All of your time ♪
- You deserved a mother.

♪ I know you can safely hide ♪

But h-he offered, and I let him.

♪ When you're living undercover ♪

[VOICE BREAKING] And it is my biggest regret.

MEREDITH: It turns out that, under the right conditions,

neurons can recover.

♪♪

I took in a drug addict.

♪ Though the worst may not be over ♪

Betty, Leo's birth mom.

♪ You can count on me, you can count on me ♪

, so [SIGHS] of course, she already knew everything.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ All it could take is a move my way ♪

- Parenting her was...
- ♪ Darling, can't you see? ♪

- ...the hardest thing I've ever done.
- ♪ I will be the last to leave ♪

And I'm pretty sure she was a tenth the trouble that I was.

♪ All it could take is a look my way ♪

- ♪ Honey, can't you see? ♪
- I put you through a lot.

♪ There's no more need for hide-and-seek ♪

I know it wasn't easy.

[SIGHS]

I'm sorry I missed your wedding.

[SIGHS]

I'm sorry I missed your brain tumor.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I'm sorry things don't go better with your sisters.

[SNIFFLES]

It's fine.

Not everyone's close to their siblings.

If they can break from normal operations

and focus on healing,

they have a chance at regrowth.

If you don't think you're worthy of love...

♪ All of your nights, all of your fights ♪

...if you don't think your love is valuable, you're wrong.

♪ You're safe this time ♪

And that's on me.

♪ Though the worst may not be over ♪

Mom, I don't blame you for...

Oh, oh, I... [BREATHES SHARPLY]

I know, hon.

♪ You can count on me, you can count on me ♪

[SIGHS]

But when you most needed help trying to...

♪ All it could take ♪

...make sense of life or...

♪ Is a move my way ♪

...loss...

♪ Darling, can't you see? ♪

...or love...

- ♪ I will be the last to leave ♪
- [SNIFFLES]

...I wasn't there.

♪ Honey, can't you see? ♪

So put that on me...

♪ There's no more need for hide-and-seek ♪

...and move forward.

What if I can't?

It's human nature to want to fix what's broken.

Well... then that's on you.

♪ There's no more need for hide-and-seek ♪

[HUMMING]

[SNIFFLES, SIGHS]

♪♪

[HUMMING]

♪♪

MAN: ...the bat. Fires.

- Slaps it to right.
- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

That one's gonna split the gap

and head all the way to the wall!

One run is in.

Here comes Beasley around third,

but cut off by Montanari,

and he's, of course, standing up...

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

You are kind.

And you were brave last night, too.

With my family. And... And in that surgery.

You didn't have to do that with me.

Either thing.

You are... [SIGHS]

Surprising to me.

And you deserve a lot better than the things that I said to you.

You are more than a human blue light.

Though you are very, very good at bluelighting.

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

I'm sorry.

And I'd like to make it up to you, if you'll let me.

[SIGHS]

[LUCY SPRAGGAN'S "STICK THE KETTLE ON" PLAYS]

♪♪

♪ I know some days are hard ♪

♪ But I know how strong you are ♪

Mmm.

♪ The front door's open if you're broken ♪

- [LAUGHS]
- Mmm.

- ♪ Let's talk the night away ♪
- Mmm!

♪ Sometimes we get it wrong, stick the kettle on ♪

Mm-hmm.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪ I spend my nights alone ♪

- ♪ I keep these doors closed ♪
- [BOTH SPEAK INDISTINCTLY]

MEREDITH: We may not be able to replicate exactly what we lost.

- [MUFFLED] Oh, yeah.
- [MUFFLED] Yeah?

You got a little something, too, right there.

♪ That I should just man up ♪

♪ Some days we get it wrong ♪

♪ Stick the kettle on ♪

But in its place will grow something new.

♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

- Hey!
- Welcome home!

- How'd it go?
- Uh, it's a long story.

- Mm?
- So come tell us.

[SIGHS] Well, the case went fine,

- but then we ran into Nancy.
- [KEYS JINGLING]

- Your sister?
- Yep.

- Is she the snarky one?
- They're all the snarky one.

She invited us to dinner.

♪ Sometimes we get it wrong, stick the kettle on ♪

- And you went?
- To her house?

And I got ambushed.

- It's a long process, but it happens...
- She was there.

Slowly, but surely...

♪ Sometimes we get it wrong ♪

...until we have what we need.

♪ Stick the kettle on ♪