05x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Yes, you, man.

Where you headed?

Where are we headed?

Radio, of course, like.

Kurupt FM, the baddest out here, yeah?

No matter what no-one says, yeah?

What have people been saying?

No-one's been saying anything, bruv.

No-one says anything.

Bruv.

One day off air, do you know what I'm saying?

We's back the next day, like, come true.

Right about now, you are locked in to the sounds of the legendary Kurupt FM Oi, oi, oi, what did I say?

On Kold FM.

Still f*cking Ks though cos that still works.

Yeah, but just say Kold FM.

Yes, all right, well, no.

This is Beats and Grindah, live and direct right now, yeah.

Yeah, on Kold FM.

Yeah.

On Kold FM.

That's it.

Has it been a good year, then?

Yeah, married life has definitely been the fairy tale I had imagined.

It's been an amazing year.

It's been a pretty rough year on me.

What with the marriage and I mean, the marriage is all right but Yeah. . . that night is bittersweet, really.

It was.

And if I remember us getting married, I remember Kurupt getting raided.

Erm Well, you've always got the good memories.

And it being a sh*t night No, it was a sh*t night for me.

Hold tight, Steves, locked in, wherever you are, yeah?

Trust we.

Yes, yes, stay strong, bruva.

Our hearts go out to you.

Bruv, what is this, Loose Women?

Why you chatting?

What you doing, bruv?

Do you feel guilty about Steves getting arrested?

Sometimes, the king has to be able to chuck away one of their little prawns, just so the f*ckin' . . the whole team can eat, do you know what I'm saying, like?

Checkmate.

Oi, oi, oi, yeah.

Make sure you promote the rave, yeah?

We're not playing at the rave.

Yeah.

I don't care, promote the rave.

Why?

It's cutting into our set.

Just do it.

Just do it.

There's a famous quote, I think Grindah came up with, which is, learn from your failures.

I think it's true.

We'll say for example, with me, having Robin.

Yes, it was a massive mistake.

Would I do it again?

Definitely not.

Am I going to get a vasectomy?

Yes, I am.

Tickle-tickley!

That's enough.

Has it been a good year, then?

It's been a kind of crash course in sex for me, really, you know?

And when I say crash, I mean, literally.

Yeah, he has got hurt a couple of times.

Yeah.

Yeah, but he didn't mind.

I didn't mind, no.

I mean, I can put anything at him, in him, on him.

Sh, don't say this stuff about putting stuff in me.

Just Yeah, yeah. .

You lot got your subs or what?

Yes, I've got my subs.

What are you doing?

Sorry.

Stop touching me.

Get on with it, come on.

No worries.

Has Kurupt been forgotten?

We haven't been forgotten, no, because people still come up to me confused, like, "Rah, you're still doing music.

" Still doing music.

And they know that we are.

Yeah, of course we are.

So they don't even know we're off air.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't even know we're off air.

Yeah, just give it to me.

What's wrong with you?

Sorry about that, man.

It's a f*cking joke, mate.

Do you know how this looks bad on you?

We need to f*cking sort this out.

We need to get some decks and sh*t, ASAP, player.

Yeah.

I'm not f*cking going back there.

No, I can't go back in there.

You should be fuming, bruv.

I am fuming.

Aw!

f*cking hand.

sh*t, bruv, was that your mic hand?

f*cking p*ssy holes.

Shall we get you some ice?

Get off me.

Miche!

Yeah?

Where have you moved my headshots?

You're what?

The photos I gave you for your birthday, where are they?

In the wardrobe.

What?

The photos I gave you for your birthday?

Yeah, they're in the wardrobe.

My God.

Why are you up so early?

What are you doing?

Man's got business to attend to, like.

No, but they're mine.

Yeah, no, I'll let you keep one.

This one?

Yeah, my favourite.

Yeah, same.

Best pose.

Stunning.

Did you ever imagine that Kurupt would end the way it did?

It hasn't ended.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Kurupt hasn't ended, it's just We're refurbishing.

You don't know what's happening behind the scenes.

So, you're trying to restart Kurupt?

Trying?!

Yes!

Yes!

Do you still need the tit milker?

No, you can have that.

What are you going to do with it, because it doesn't feel nice?

No, we're going to sell it.

Doing the car boot later.

Yeah.

Look, your mum's tit milker's going to earn us some money, so we can get some new equipment.

Yes, it is, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you're going to sell it, I'd go with breast pump Breast pump, yeah. . . rather than tit milker. .

Yeah, radio equipment's proper expensive, man.

That's why it's taken us so long to, like, get the money together.

You can have that, if you want.

Cheers.

Yeah, good name.

No problem.

Thank you, Craig.

Thanks, man.

When you got to sell some old tat that no-one else would buy on eBay, best place for it, car-boot sale.

Do you think people would want those photos?

Well, obviously.

Yeah, obviously.

Obviously, when they see this sh*t as well, it'll be like, "Rah, OK, I know what time it is.

"Have you got any signed photos or anything?" "Yes, I have.

" Original.

And it's got a number on the back.

Is that a number?

Yeah, that's three.

Number three.

You get number three.

Number three.

Why have you numbered them?

Because then they're worth more.

Why's that?

Because then you know there's only ten of them made.

One to ten.

Simple numbering system.

Right, have you got a bag or anything?

Or a bigger box?

Er I've got this one.

Shopping bag.

Let me see.

No, I don't want to use that bag.

Go on.

No, no, no.

What?

No, it's fine.

I'll carry them.

Why?

No, cos I don't want to use it.

What if they get dirty?

Just put them in there.

No, cos it looks like I'm going shopping.

I don't want to use that.

OK.

Right, sweet.

Well, you going to say bye to me?

Yeah, yeah.

OK.

See, see you.

Love you!

Yep.

Love you!

Yes, I know.

Love you!

Yes, you've said it three times.

Love you, bubby.

Stop shouting and screaming Well, just say it back.

Yeahlove you, bye!

Right, I'm going to sh**t off.

Great.

Have a lovely day.

Yeah.

Fist bump.

Yes.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

See you fannies in a bit.

Have fun.

Bye.

For you.

Yes.

There's only It's just got a handle on both sides.

What did you say it was called?

I think it's called a hoe, yeah.

Did you say?

Is it called a hoe?

That's a hoe, yeah.

How many hoes have you got?

How many hoes you got?

If you head over there and I'll be with you So, what happened at the court?

Well, basically, I just ended up doing community service and, like, getting a tag.

Because they said it was such a low-level pirate radio operation that it wasn't worth me getting sent down for.

Is it cool to get some red ones?

I'll swap you!

I've got a rhododendron here you can have.

So, the judge said that we technically weren't even a radio station, because the radius of the aerial was so small, he described it as, like, erm, like kids messing around in a bedroom.

I should use the spade, shouldn't I, really?

Use the hoe.

Yeah.

Hoe.

Yeah.

Get your bare jokes kids out the way, man!

Can you give me one sec?

OK.

Yeah, yeah.

Hi, hiya.

Hi.

I'm afraid we don't have much space left.

OK, guys, I've got this, don't worry.

Right.

He's going to come chat to you.

Hello, lady, mate, how's it going?

Really busy today, isn't it?

Really chock-a-block.

Yeah.

Lovely jubbly day to be selling some car boot today, I tell you, mate.

So, if you want to just pop back in, you couldn't Go round the back there and just squeeze in over there in the corner?

All the way in the back?

You're taking me up the Jack and Dani, mate?

No, that's all we've got left, I'm afraid.

Right.

So, I'm a hustler.

And I was raised by hustlers and I was raised by my Hounslow community.

And we were all very, very dodgy.

You know, very, very, er . .

criminals, in a way, but in a friendly way.

You know, not like m*rder, r*pe, just a bit of fraud, you know?

Friendly kind of crime.

Let me have a quick, let me have a quick knacker chat with you, darling.

A lot of people around Hounslow, you know, they compare me to another geezer, you know, Del Boy.

But they call me Dhal Boy.

How about we grease each other up and I'll get my place and you get your . . grease?

No.

No, I don't Come on.

No, no, no, no, I don't want that.

There's a donkey's worth of change in there, darling.

Do you not mean a monkey?

Monkey?

All right, I'll give you a monkey!

How much is a monkey?

500 quid.

No, I won't give her 500 quid.

Yes?

I can't tickle your fancy any more, I'll give you a donkey, darling.

No, you can't.

Come on.

I know.

Jackie, it's your last day!

Miche, you shouldn't have!

No, it's fine, I wanted to make an effort, you know, just in case no-one else did.

Do you like it?

It's lovely!

Aw, did you and Angel make it?

God, no, Angel can't do art to save her life.

No, it's all me.

It's gorgeous.

Aw, thank you.

Shall we get it up?

The big news around here is that they're knocking down the famous blocks, so loads of us are getting moved out to different areas.

Yeah, a bit higher, a bit higher, a bit higher, just over Clear the mirror.

Come on, Jackie.

Jackie's leaving cos she's being moved down to Hammersmith instead.

So, are you and Grindah having to move?

Yeah, we're moving home, so, the blocks are being knocked down.

But, you know, I'm not going to leave this area and just go and live somewhere random, am I?

I mean, this is where everything is for us.

So, it would be mad.

It's the end of an era.

Isn't it, really?

Yeah, it is.

It is the end of an era.

But, you know, who knows what's around the corner?

Amen!

Then they won't even see us.

No-one can see sh*t here.

We need a better spot, man, this is a joke.

OK, I'll leave you to it.

No, don't leave us to it.

Excuse me.

What's your name?

Sandra.

Sandra, cool.

No, please, I really need to sell all our sh*t today, to get radio back up.

I run a local community radio station.

Well, I suggest you unpack as quickly as you can Come on. . . and then see what you can sell.

And then You've put us where Are you online or something?

Look, that's That's not even a full thing.

This is his stuff.

People like these things.

You sell stuff every week here, don't you?

No, they don't.

No-one's coming here.

They like those.

He comes every week, so You come every week?

Yeah.

OK.

And you still haven't sold anything.

Nope.

What does that tell you?

If they want it, they'll come.

What are the alternatives to radio?

There are no alternatives to radio.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's like saying, what's the alternative to the internet?

There isn't.

There isn't one.

Do you know what I'm saying?

What's the alternative to radio?

Nothing.

There ain't one.

Do you know what I mean?

Putting on a suit and tie and, like, working for f*cking eight hours a day, every day.

That's insane.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I don't want that for me or my family.

Exactly.

Do you know what I'm saying?

We'll make it work, don't worry.

How much are we charging on these?

Got to put them down as about 80, I'd say.

18?

80.

80?

Yeah, 80.

They're limited edition, mate.

I've signed them.

Pounds?

Yes, £80.

Yeah, no, I was just I paid 300, for the photo sh**t, so I need to get the money back.

80 £80.

Yes, £80.

Like that, yeah?

Yeah, they'd be lucky to get it for that price as well.

All right, cool.

I want you to sign her leaving card.

"Sorry you're leaving"?

Yeah, look, you'll be missed.

Will she?

God, everyone's been very polite in here, haven't they?

I don't know What can you say, really?

Er Yeah.

Keep in touch?!

Or Just something like, "good luck", or, you know, "going to miss you", or "all the best", you know, "sorry you're leaving, sad to see you go".

Or something about hairdressing.

Yeah, cos I really don't want to lie in the card, cos it's written down, isn't it?

So Yeah.

Erm Erm, I'll just write, "all the best" again, like they've written.

Yeah.

I'll write all the best again.

OK.

Love . .

Miche.

Anyone?

Everybody, Kurupt FM merchandise!

Signed photos.

Anyone?

Come on, please.

Come on!

Please!

Don't f*cking beg.

We need equipment though, man.

Easy.

Yes, Steves.

Yes, yes, what's going on?

Sorry I'm late, boys.

It's community service, innit?

Yeah, you done though, obviously, man knows dem tings and that, like.

What, did you do community service as well?

No, but I went to jail, which is ten times harder.

Sorry, excuse me.

Sorry, do you know where the toilet is?

Nah.

Do you not work here?

No.

Hello!

Over here.

Yeah, we got No, it's cool.

Thanks.

What you doing?

Where you going?

How do you know you don't want anything if you haven't even f*cking had a look?

I think he's going toilet.

This is sh*t.

Yeah.

Stevie, just come with me for a minute, let's try this.

When you wear a high-wis, yeah, you can get away with anything, mate, OK?

It kind of commands respect.

People don't ask questions.

All right, just stay here.

Just act natural, act natural.

I used to walk around Heathrow wearing one, OK?

And taking all the unclaimed suitcases, just walking off with them.

No-one blinked an eye.

Also, there's around 20 geezers who look identical to me, working there, so Perfect crime.

Bit saucy, but, you know, clean, they're clean.

You all right?

Hi, hi, hi.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

I'm really sorry to inform you, but this whole stall has actually been reserved for my son, Tony.

I've been here three hours, so, you know, I'm not moving now.

No, totally understand, totally understand.

Yeah, I'm glad you understand, good, good.

Totally understand.

But, the thing is, I have been informed that you will have to move.

Informed by who?

The stall manager.

Sorry, I've got a little bit of a Yeah Here we go.

I'm the stall manager, is there a problem with moving this stall?

Yeah, there is, actually.

This lady seems to think this is her placement.

But she's She's wrong.

Well, I'm here every week, this is my place.

Er, let me just check in my files.

Yeah, there's It says here that you're not supposed to be here, that somebody else has booked it out on this occasion.

Yeah.

So I would ask you to kindly move out . .

out of here.

Sorry, who are you?

I'm the Stall manager.

Store manager.

STALL manager!

Stall Stall.

Stall manager.

S-T-A-L-L.

Stall.

For the Yeah.

I manage the, er Look, he's in charge, OK?

All right!

And he said leave.

You've already wasted three of my hours, yeah.

That's good selling time.

Listen, I'm moving.

OK.

Yeah, I said I'm moving.

Quickly!

It's all right.

Yeah, yeah.

Have you seen the pictures of Jackie's new flat?

It's really nice.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, no, me and Grindah were offered something like that.

Yeah, he wanted to hold out for something better, though, you know, with a steam room.

We're holding out, because we're hoping that if we wait then we'll get the good stuff.

Yeah, exactly.

Cos all the bad stuff will be gone.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

When's yours getting sorted, then?

I don't know.

But, you know, it'll be fine.

Well, I should really give them a ring, Miche.

I mean, you don't want to leave it too late.

Yeah, all right, Jackie, we got it under control, thank you very much.

I know what I'm doing.

The people that are like, "We need to move now!" Like, do you know what I mean?

That's like when you go to the airport and someone gets up, you know, and people start queueing.

And I sit on the seat, right to the last minute, do you know what I mean?

Cos I've clocked that.

So, that's the same thing here.

You know what I mean?

Clever.

Yeah.

Right, guys, just watch your backs, we're is doing a rotation of the stall, please, thank you.

Perfect.

Just like that, we're at centre stage.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Baby stuff, Kurupt FM merchandise.

Get your headphones, two for a pound.

Headshot, signed by me, MC Grindah.

Yeah, yeah, MC Grindah pictures.

Yeah, which one do you want?

80 quid.

Do you know what you'd like, actually, is this?

It's the classic tit Breast pump.

Scart leads, who wants scart leads?

Do you need a birthing T-shirt whilst you're at it?

No, no.

You're good, yeah?

No, no.

Are you aware of the 12 o'clock surcharge that's just kicked in?

12 o'clock, we actually charge another 50p per customer.

Sweet, thank you.

Boys, people have just been giving me money.

There's a quid there.

Look, he's holding it!

Little bambino wants it.

Do you want this signed?

Come on, look at that!

You like that, do you?

It's a breast pump.

For me?

If you were lactating, then, yeah.

Boys Cash!

Number one seller.

Well done.

Sorry, have you paid the entrance fee?

Yeah?

Cos there's been reports that people haven't been paying.

No, listen, 15 quid.

I've got kids, I've got three kids at home.

I've got They haven't got shoes!

My kids are walking round with blisters, they haven't got shoes.

Look at him, he's barely got anything He's got shoes!

Was it you?

No.

OK, what's your name?

Fred.

Fred.

OK, Fred Just - That's £5.

- Sorry!

Er, what's going on here?

This isn't your stall.

Well, it is now, mate.

I've just been told that you forced someone to move.

Yeah, cos you gave us the shittest place in the whole thing.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Well, unfortunately, I don't accept your apology.

What?

No, I'm not apologising.

Can you move?

Erm, what seems to be the problem here?

Her.

Who are you?

I'm Steves, and who are you?

I'm the site manager.

Site manager, we've been saying stall manager.

We were close, Steves.

Yeah, I'm going to have to take your name for my records as well.

Cos I'm . . just doing the rounds.

I'm sorry, are you pretending to write?

This is just a blank piece of paper that you This is my work paper.

Just give up, Steves, we're getting thrown out.

We are getting thrown out, aren't we?

Yes, you are getting thrown out.

Definitely getting thrown out, yeah?

OK, pack up now, please, OK?

Yeah, you pack up now as well.

No, no, no, I'm not helping you.

We don't need your crap market anyway.

You can help your friends pack up.

Innit?

Guys, if we can pack up, please.

Yeah, thank you.

Steves, f*cking help.

Chabuds, bring the van round as well.

OK.

Bloody write off, mate.

This place is the joke of London.

I just want you to leave, please.

Yes!

Yep, no, we'll get these guys cleared up.

Thank you.

My head's literally going 20mph, like, to think of how I'm going to sort Kurupt FM.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Cos, like, obviously, I always You just see what's happening now, do you know what I'm saying?

I see what's happening later, do you know what I mean?

Always 46 steps ahead.

Yeah.

So, I'm dealing with the now.

She's dealing with the now, I'm dealing with the future.

You're dealing with the 46 steps ahead.

Yeah, exactly, like.

Yeah.

Hiya.

Yeah, no, I just wanted to check on the status of our new flat.

Yeah, no, it's Michelle Zagrafos.

Isn't the move the future, though?

Yeah, but we don't know where we're moving to, or what it is And you've got to sort it out now.

Yeah, you've got to sort it out now.

Is that definitely the only option we have now?

Yeah.

Well, what part of London is Essex in?

Just getting Steves in.

All right, sweet.

Just push it.

Slam the door.

What a sh*thole.

Did we get enough money?

What?

Nowhere near.

I thought you were going to go straight back.

Shut up!

We're good, we're off.

See you later.

Come on, out the way.

Unbelievable.

Boys, help, I'm going to be sick!

You should open the present Very nice. . . because it's from all of us, isn't it?

OK.

Yep.

Is it something for my new place?

My goodness, that is perfect.

They are my colours.

That'll go in the en suite!

Thank you very much.

Two bathrooms!

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, well, we were told Hammersmith up-and-coming, it's the new place.

Yeah.

I mean, it's up and come, I think.

It's such a lovely area.

It's so nice.

You're still in west, it's all good.

Yeah, no, no, absolutely.

I mean, it's gorgeous.

And everything you need's there.

I'm going to have to take one for the team, ain't I?

I'm going to do something that I never thought I'd have to do.

What?

I'm going to pawn the ring.

God, no.

Yeah.

Shh.

It's for the cause, all right?

It's our destiny.

Tony, you're a good guy.

Not now.

Take it.

I want it all in cash.

Yeah, that's not real gold, mate.

Of course it's real gold.

What you talking about?

It's also really bent, so, sorry, we wouldn't be able to accept that.

What?

Grindah wouldn't wear fake gold, mate.

Yeah, exactly.

You could definitely say that's gold, mate, trust me.

Yeah.

I've sold a lot of things less gold than that, you idiot.

Come on, let's get out of here.

What about this one?

Bless you, Steve, mate, they wouldn't want that tat.

No, not the whistle, the This one.

This would be OK.

Isn't that your nan's ring?

Yeah, but I feel like maybe this is why she gave it to me in a way.

Yeah, exactly, she was a big fan of Kurupt FM, so She moved out for it.

Yeah, sell it.

Sell it.

Yeah, that's good.

It's good?

I'll have to speak to the manager to get an exact price.

So, if you want to come round to the sales desk.

Yeah.

You can just What?

I will need the whistle back, though.

All right.

Result.

Sick.

They haven't got a clue in here, have they?

Embarrassing.

Tony, if you want fake rings, I can I don't want fake rings, I only wear real ones.

All right, guys, I could offer you 180 cash for it.

What?!

£180?

180?

That's sick.

Yes, then.

It's a deal.

Shake his hand, shake his hand, it's official.

Deal.

He shook the hand.

Official.

That's how you haggle, amateurs.

That's 20, 40, 60, 80, one.

20, 40, 60, 70, 80.

180, cash.

Perfect.

All right, guys, there we go.

Right.

Perfect.

That's £180, cash.

Exactly.

Perfect.

We got enough, now, yeah?

Yeah.

Sweet.

Sick.

Our opening hours are 9am until 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Council office is shut, so, that's great.

Are you worried about having to move to Essex?

Yeah, I am worried about Essex.

But, obviously, we're going to just have to live there now cos I can't even get through to someone to sort it out, so that's it.

All right, Mum?

Yeah, no, do you want to come over now?

Yeah.

No, definitely bring one, OK.

Yeah.

No, I'll talk to you when you get here, it's fine.

OK.

Yeah.

Bye.

What is it, a speaker?

Speaker with blinds.

f*cking hell!

Sick.

Look at this!

No, thanks!

Guitars?!

Who even plays them?

Innit?

Who would even pay for that these days?

It's not the '60s!

You know what I mean?

OK, yeah, of course the deck we're taking straight away.

Yeah.

The mixer, that's 89, that's You're looking at about 150 there, cos that's worth its weight in water.

109.

Let's see where we're at.

How much you've got?

20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 50, 60 What you doing?

I'm counting as well.

Why?

You're throwing me off.

I need to do that again.

OK.

20, 30, 40 20 What?

Just don't talk, because I forgot now.

Don't start.

I'm just doing the first one.

20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 120, 130, 140, 150, 160 What you need to run a pirate radio station is passion for music, decks, a microphone, transmitter, and the best MC in the galaxy.

How many of those do you have at the moment?

We've only got the best MC in the galaxy, we ain't really got any equipment at the moment.

But we're working on that.

Let's get the f*ck out of here.

Decks!

Watch it, watch it.

Speaker!

OK, and turn.

Spud me!

Essex is a piss take, Miche.

They shouldn't be allowed to move you that far, you know that?

I know, I literally don't know what to do.

Yeah.

Do you remember that bin man?

Charlie, yeah?

A couple of years ago I used to go with.

Yeah, smelt funny, yeah.

Yeah, well he knows someone who knows one of the councillors, right?

He might be able to pull a few strings for you.

Anything for my girl, you know that.

I don't want you to shag a bin man so I can stay in Brentford, Mum.

Don't you knock a bin man.

I've had quite a few in my time and they're all right.

They scrub up OK, they really do.

I miss this place!

You seen the new layout?

f*cking hell, Steves, it's a complete sh*thole in here.

You don't like it?

Grindah's not going to like this.

I thought we could just try it like this just cos I've got the furniture how I No, we need to be exactly how it used to be, Steves.

Is it?

What have you done?

I was trying to do like a sort of feng shui thing, like, get the ambience of the room just right sort of thing.

It's good for the mind, apparently.

Yeah.

Right, let's go get the other bits.

Are you worried about having Kurupt FM back in your flat?

Yeah, I am a bit worried about it.

But, yeah, Grindah said, unfortunately, it has to be at my flat.

Steve, come on.

Cos he can't be f*cked to find anywhere else.

Yeah, it's feeling better already.

She's got to get dealt with.

When you try and tell me what to do, like, then obviously I'm going to put you in your place, straight up, like, do you know what I'm saying?

Really?

Every time.

Obviously, man's MC Grindah out here, you don't become the best MC in the galaxy just by taking sh*t off people, yeah?

Yes, yes, I've come to Yeah, yeah, no, there's just someone at the door, bruv.

No, literally no-one.

You on the phone?

Yeah, yeah.

No, I can do that, brother.

Hi there Hi.

No, I'm not coming up.

I'm not coming I've quit.

f*ck's sake.

You back me, yeah?

sh*t can get f*cking messy, boys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What you doing?

I've come to, er I've come to let you know that . .

I quit.

I don't work for no man.

What?

Yeah.

What, you come all the way down here to tell me that?

Well, yeah, I thought I'd . . come and tell you to your face, like a real man.

All right, cool.

Yeah, exactly.

What, is this cos we caught you doing a sit-down piss, yeah?

No, you didn't.

No!

That was Wait, that's legendary.

Big up all the sit-down piss crew, like.

No, it's more comfortable that way and Now you lot like to have a laugh?

Yeah?

When I tried to have a laugh with you lot, you're silent.

All right, go.

Good.

See you later, then.

Laters.

Do you know what?

f*ck that.

Good luck trying to get listeners without us.

f*cking p*ssy holes.

Come on!

Hurry up, Decoy, get out of my way.

What, we have to run?

Yeah.

Aw, what?

Angel, pretend to be Daddy.

Pretend to be Daddy.

OK, erm "Hello".

We're moving to Essex.

What?

So we have to leave our home and all of our friends and family behind.

Miche, don't do that.

So, everything you love is gone now.

What, Carly?

Daddy doesn't know Carly, it doesn't matter, does it?

But I won't see her any more!

Well, Daddy wouldn't say that, would he?

Yeah, he's going to be devastated because he basically owns Brentford, in a way, like.

He's built up this reputation here and it's just going to be completely shattered.

He's going to have to start again.

It might take years for him to be as respected, as important there as he is here.

Yes, yes.

What's going on?

Good, yeah?

Kurupt FM is back, yeah?

No-one can hold us down.

Never!

So, for this, I say, three, two, one!

We've put in way too much time to f*cking stop doing this now, innit?

Bruv, trust me, like!

To us!

To us!

Mans made my bed, right now, yeah?

And guess what?

Me and him are going to lie in it for ever, like.

Why hasn't he got his key?

I don't know.

You all right?.

Where's Grindah?

Darling!

You owe me a lot of bear hugs, do you know that?

I am going to bear hug the sh*t out of you later!

So, that's our sexy little codeword.

When she says bear hug, she actually means sex.

And I need a lot of bear hugs, don't I, baby?

Do you want me to bear hug your nanny later on, Angel?

Mamma!

I know what it means.

Right, I think she's figured out the code.

She has, yeah.

I'll switch it up.

Never replies to my messages.

I'm living the dream, right now, do you know what I'm saying, like?

Yeah.

I've got goals.

If you've got goals, you don't need a job.

If you know where your dreams are, you don't need to live in reality.

You're not picking up.

# Hey, up on the mic # Who the bona fide, original, genuine-a?

# One of a kind, come signed like a collider MC Grindah, you know me, come down with a vibe-a!