02x15 - Palestine's Day

[bunniefuu]

Oh my God!

Jamie's gonna ask you to marry him.

No!

I'm not sure if I'm reading this wrong, but I just got out of something.

I'm not even sure if I am totally out of it.

CALLIE: I'm gonna move back in with Mariana.

I'm her new roommate, Isabella.

- So, you just moved her in here?

- We just have so much in common.

- You into magic?

- I don't usually tell people.

- Don't wanna add to the nerd factor.

- Nerds are sexy.

(MOANING)

ALICE: If I didn't know any better, I'd think you two are in love.

Do you love Davia?

Who wants to know?

- (MUSIC BLASTING)

- (PARTY CHATTER)

(CHEERING, CLAPPING)

Never have I ever.

- (GROANS)

- Not another one.

Yes!

Another one!

(LAUGHTER)

Been in love with someone in this room.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

- (AWKWARD MURMURING)

- Um DAVIA: Come on.

If you've ever been in love, you gotta drink.

Aw (RAIN FALLING)

What is love?

Is it a fruit in season all the time?

Is it a flower always in bloom?

Is love eternal?

Is love immortal?

(LAUGHING)

What is love?

Love is what lifts us up.

It's a mountain high.

It's here and now.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Who knows what Tomorrow brings In a world, few hearts survive All I know Is the way I feel When it's real I keep it alive The road Is long There are mountains In our way But we climb a step Every day Love lift us up where we belong Where the eagles cry On a mountain high Love lift us up where we belong Far from the world below Up where the clear winds blow Some hang on to "Used to be" Live their lives Looking behind All we have Is here and now All our lives Out there to find The road Is long There are mountains In our way But we climb a step Every day Love lift us up where we belong Where the eagles cry On a mountain high Love lift us up where we belong Far from the world we know Where the clear winds blow (SONG ENDS)

(THUNDER)

(LAUGHING)

You're tripping.

He doesn't get to play.

(LAUGHTER, CHATTER)

Pa-pa-pa pa-pa-pa, pa, pa Pa-pa-pa pa-pa-pa, pa, pa And then we'll find our peace of mind You and me, bel ami Pa-pa-pa, pa, pa (TYPING)

- She's not coming.

Of course.

- Well, it is Valentine's Day.

Yeah, but she's all about Jamie now.

- She could care less about me.

- Maybe you two just need to talk.

Have a little heart to heart?

He's taking her to 71 Above.

How do I compete with that?

I hear it's very romantic.

You know, actually, a few of my friends have gotten engaged there.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

(TEXT NOTIFICATION)

How do we feel about men who still live at home?

- Not great.

- Yeah.

Okay, so you're clearly over Jeff.

When are you gonna tell Dennis how you really feel?

Never.

We're better off as friends.

Hey!

Are we going to a meeting tonight?

Uh, I was thinking, um back on the street, I feel the music I really appreciate you coming to meetings with me but I think I'm gonna go it alone from here on out.

It's got me moving Hi.

Hey I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure your son was very special.

Oh, no.

I'm I'm not Jacob's mother.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I assumed she was your wife.

No.

- I'm just here as a friend.

- SUSAN: Mmm.

Yeah, of course.

You You don't need me tagging along.

Well, it just might be easier to talk about some things If I wasn't there.

I totally get it.

Ugh, God.

Paul is still on here.

DENNIS: On what?

Oh, um Shyppr.

It's a dating app.

Gotta get back in the saddle.

Not this saddle, though.

I'm looking for something a little more mustang and a little less Shetland pony.

Oh.

Gotta go.

Hey.

If you like, love, or heart Davia, you better make a move.

Quick, before she like, loves, or hearts someone else.

Have a nice day.

- Hey, Davia?

- Yeah?

Um Maybe you wanna grab dinner tonight?

It's Valentine's Day, Dennis.

How about an anti-Valentine's Day dinner?

Sure.

Huh?

I'll take it.

(TRAFFIC NOISE)

Davia.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Davia.

Davia.

Davia?

Davia, I love you.

- (SLAPPING)

- (LAUGH)

I wanna be with you.

(SCOFF)

I I can't imagine living without you.

I love you.

Okay, so should I go with the techy present, the sexy present, or the romantic present?

You're nerds.

Go with the techy present.

No.

Sexy all the way.

Hold up.

It's Valentine's Day.

Definitely go with the romantic one.

Why don't you give him all three?

- (EXCITED MURMURING)

- You came!

- ALICE: Hi, Callie!

- CALLIE: Hi.

- Yeah, but definitely don't do all three.

- Definitely don't do that.

Yeah, that'll be obvious that you didn't know what to get him.

ISABELLA: Just go with your gut, Mariana.

No one knows Raj better than you do.

Okay.

Well, since we just said the L word, my gut says - go romantic.

- MALIKA: Thank you.

Uh, when did this happen?

Oh, well, Raj said it first, of course, and then, I said it back the night of my launch.

(GIGGLE)

I'm so happy you could make it, Callie.

- Oh.

- MALIKA: Yeah, we miss you.

But, you know what?

Shout out to Isabella - for planning this.

- MARIANA: Cheers to that.

Okay, wait.

This this is really funny.

(PHONES BUZZING)

(DING)

- (LAUGHTER)

- - Pizza.

(LAUGH)

- So good.

(LAUGHTER)

Did we have a Coterie group thread when I lived here?

- No.

This is new.

- I don't remember one.

(ALL DENYING)

No, I get drunk a lot.

So what you said about Raj, that, of course, he told you he loved you first.

Are you supposed to wait for the guy to say it before you do?

- Oh, duh.

- Yeah.

You can't say it first or they freak out.

I love you.

Okay, I don't think that's a rule.

Jamie told you first.

Joey said they were falling in love with me first, but then we ended in a crash, and now I'm gonna die alone.

Maybe they weren't the right person.

But they're the one that I want.

Well, you can't always have the one that you want.

Sometimes, you gotta know when it's time to move on.

(TYPING)

Are you texting them?

Mm-mmm.

You're not getting this back until you accept that it is over.

I told Isaac I loved him first and he didn't say it back yet.

- ALICE: Oh.

- DAVIA: Oh But, he didn't freak out or anything.

Well, yet.

I suppose there are exceptions.

- (DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)

- (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

- ALICE: You're fine.

- MALIKA: Oh!

Okay, look at you!

(EXCITED MURMURING)

We're supposed to have an anti-Valentine's dinner, but I was thinking fast casual.

Oh I could change.

No!

No, no, no.

You look very handsome.

Doesn't he, Davia, look very handsome?

Okay, he just combed his hair.

Don't get all hot and bothered.

Look, I'm actually already drunk.

Can we just order in?

- Yeah.

- Don't you wanna go out and No.

It's supposed to rain.

Hey, um, when the guys get here, can we talk?

- Of course.

- Okay.

Can I get you a drink?

Oh, have you met Dennis?

- Uh, I'm Isabella.

Mariana's new roommate.

- Oh my God.

BOTH: Nice to meet you.

Uh, what loft do you live in?

- I'm downstairs.

- How nice.

DAVIA: You know what, maybe I was being too hard on Paul.

He was actually pretty good in bed, and worth at least a booty call.

(GULPING)

So, you were right.

(TAPPING)

I think Jamie's going to propose tonight.

(SIGH)

Wow.

I love your work.

- Yeah, I wish I did.

- You don't?

Not lately.

Just been a little blocked.

This have anything to do with that person you may or may not have broken up with?

Yeah, maybe.

It's kinda been a sh*t year for relationships.

I feel that.

Have you ever tried shrooms?

Like the magic kind?

Yes.

No.

I have.

Just a couple times, and I just remember they made me feel so creative and free, like all my walls were just dropped.

Anyways, if you're interested, I know a guy.

(CHUCKLE)

(CHUCKLING)

- (MUSIC PLAYING)

- (PARTY CHATTER)

(DOOR SHUTS)

- Excuse me.

- Yeah.

- Hi.

- Hey.

(MOANING)

Oh, what beautiful flowers!

Thank you.

They're for Mariana.

Is she here?

Mariana?

Uh, she's having a little sister talk with Callie.

- You must be Jamie.

- You must be Isabella.

Why don't I go put these in water?

- Oh Cool.

- Okay.

What?

Nothing.

I was looking through Jamie's drawers, and the ring was gone.

Maybe he moved it.

Hid it better so you wouldn't find it.

Or maybe he's planning on proposing tonight at the proposal restaurant.

If you're not ready to be engaged, just tell him.

And humiliate him in front of the whole restaurant?

Then tell him before dinner!

Oh, that while I was looking through his drawers, I noticed that the ring, that my sister found while she was looking through his drawers, was gone?

You know, just in case he was planning on proposing tonight.

And what if he's not planning on doing it tonight?

Then then I've ruined the surprise!

A surprise you don't wanna be surprised by.

Look, I don't know what to tell you, but Raj is probably here, and I need to go back out.

(PARTY CHATTER)

- You have to try at least one.

- Oh - Raj!

- Hey!

- (SPILL)

- MARIANA: Oh!

- You look nice.

- You do, too.

(CHUCKLE)

You just spilled a little bit.

- Right, I got it!

- (CHUCKLE)

Look what Raj brought you.

Oh my gosh!

They're beautiful.

- Aw.

Truly are.

- Oh, thanks.

- Hey!

- Hi!

Hi.

What you doing?

Can't I feel up my boyfriend?

- Are you drunk?

- A little.

Uh, pace yourself.

I have a big night planned for us.

Hm!

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey, you.

- These are for you.

- Aw, thank you.

- (INDISTINCT)

- (KISSING)

(PARTY CHATTER CONTINUES)

I'm not I'm not really up for all this.

Oh.

Yeah, it's almost over.

Everyone's going their separate ways, and then we can have our night in.

Okay.

Uh, I'm wrapping up a business thing.

Can can I make a call in your room?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, cool.

(LAUGHTER)

GAEL: It's kinda been a sh*t year for relationships.

BRYAN: You were shut off from the start!

Until you figure that out, the only thing I do know is that you won't be right for anyone.

GAEL: Maybe this whole time, all I needed is you.

CALLIE: What, I'm like your muse?

I'll never pass the bar if I'm up here every night.

I was trying to help you.

Compromising your principles might be the world's idea of success, but it's not mine, and it's not who I wanna be, and it's not who I wanna be with.

So you're saying we're done?

I'm seeing Jamie again.

(INHALE)

(YELL)

(SNIFFLE)

(HISSING)

(THUNDER)

(SCREAM)

That was awesome!

- (CLICKING)

- (SCREAM)

(GASPING)

Is this really happening?

(THUNDER)

Don't leave candles unattended.

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

Looks like a transformer blew.

Yeah, the lights are out all over the city.

They're saying stay put.

Looks like we're not gonna make our dinner reservation.

- (FLICKERING)

- Dude, you okay?

I didn't know light was made of tiny little dancers.

Is he on something?

I may have hooked him up with some shrooms.

- It's so beautiful.

- Don't touch.

- Can I have some of what he had?

- No!

You're no fun!

Hey, since no one can go anywhere tonight, who wants to play a drinking game?

(CHEERING)

(MUFFLED CHATTER)

(RAINING)

MALIKA: Hey (MUFFLED LAUGHTER)

Hello?

Hey.

Hey.

What are you listening to?

Uh, nothing.

I'm just - I'm canceling the noise out there.

- Oh, lemme see.

- (SILENCE)

- Oh - (NOISE COMES BACK)

- These are dope.

Yeah.

Uh, your internet's down.

I'm sure the client will understand that you can't work in a blackout.

Why don't you let me help you relax?

You know, why don't we, uh, join the party out there?

I could really use a drink.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Never have I ever pierced my nipples.

(LAUGHTER)

JAMIE: Alright, never have I ever lived with more than five people.

(CHEERING)

I felt up Jamie's pockets.

Doesn't have a ring box on him, so that's a good sign.

What if he left it in the car?

(THUNDER)

Never have I ever peed in our pool.

(THUNDER)

Seriously?

Well, that's what the chlorine is for, shh.

Never have I ever dated someone who ended up being gay.

I'm gonna take a half sip.

(LAUGHTER)

You didn't leave anything valuable in your car, did you?

Uh, no.

- Nope, no.

Did you?

- No.

- (CHATTER)

- (SHRIEKING)

Never have I ever Thrown up in a coat check.

- You have!

- (LAUGHING)

ALL (CHANTING): Dennis!

Dennis!

Dennis!

- (CLATTERING)

- (YELLING)

"Give someone the best lap dance of their life".

- Oh.

- (MUSIC PLAYING)

Yo (CHEERING)

(LAUGHTER)

(CHATTERING)

Okay, what about him?

- He's hot.

- ISABELLA: Alright, alright, alright You can do better.

ISABELLA: Oh!

Okay!

Lap dance musical chairs!

(CHEERING)

Make that booty, booty, booty, booty, booty pop Make that booty pop pop, make that booty pop pop (CHEERING)

Make that booty pop pop, make that Jamie said that he didn't leave anything valuable in the car, so (CLICK)

Okay, well, maybe he dropped it off at the restaurant so they can bake it into a soufflé or something.

- Is that a thing?

- Yes.

You got it going on (CHEERING)

You got it going on, that lipstick don't lie Okay, everyone switch again!

(PARTY CHATTER)

So, how was your talk with Callie?

She just wanted to talk about Jamie.

She's so obsessed about whether he has the ring or he's gonna propose.

Just I wish she'd ask him and just leave me out of it.

Oh!

Hey!

(CHEERING)

DAVIA: Oh!

(TOILET FLUSHING)

Hey.

(SIGH)

Hey, would you say it's, uh, hypothetically, normal to, uh, I don't know fantasize about another woman during sex?

Is the woman Mariana's new roommate?

(THUNDER)

Look, a fantasy is one thing, but a fantasy motivated by feelings?

Mm that's dangerous territory.

ISABELLA: "Never have I ever" Oh, it's blank.

I don't know.

Never have I ever bought an engagement ring for anyone.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

- You told her about the ring?

- We live together.

- She's bound to hear stuff.

- Okay, what other personal things have you told her about me?

That I iron my sheets?

I read the Coterie Biatches text thread, Mariana.

Is that why you moved out?

No.

No, I moved out because I love Jamie.

Then why are you so afraid to commit to him?

I'm not!

I-I committed to signing a lease with him.

(FOOTSTEPS)

Oh, hey.

Uh, Isabella asked me about getting on the lease with you.

Something about her renter's insurance.

What do you think?

So, that would mean taking Callie off.

Yeah.

- Can we hold off for a while?

- Hm?

I'll talk to Isabella.

You know, just in case Callie decides to move back in.

You think she will?

You never know.

Well, good for you.

Hope you give him more notice when you suddenly decide to move out - and break that lease.

- I didn't break our lease.

I was still paying rent when you suddenly decided to move Isabella in!

You completely abandoned me!

I wasn't the one making fun of you behind your back, Mariana!

Talk about being abandoned!

(THUNDER)

- I gotta use the bathroom.

- Okay.

(MUFFLED MUSIC)

(RAINING)

Where's Dennis?

I think he had enough.

(CHUCKLE)

What?

Okay.

"Show us your secret talent".

Uh, I don't really have one.

Ooh!

Um, uh, do your magic trick.

I don't even have it.

Oh, I do have a quarter.

Alright.

- Everyone take a look.

- (THUNDER)

(MYSTICAL MUSIC)

JAMIE: Whoa!

(APPLAUSE)

And it's back.

(CHEERING)

How did I not know that he was into magic?

I mean, I obviously don't know him at all.

I'm a terrible girlfriend.

All of my Valentine's Day presents suck.

It's okay.

No one knows everything about anyone.

But something as big as magic?

(SOB)

This is huge.

I can't give Raj one of those stupid gifts that I bought him.

I mean (GASP)

He gave me the first line of code for my app, and I got him edible underwear!

What's wrong with me?

Okay.

I was gonna give this to Raj as a thank you for helping me put my shelves together, but you should give it to him.

"The Magic Book" by Harry Lorayne?

It gets great reviews.

Thank you.

- You're the best.

- (THUNDER)

(SHUTS DOOR)

What are you doing in here?

Just, uh taking a break.

Look, if I freaked you out by saying I love you, just be honest.

You're not there, that's fine.

Just don't push me away.

I'm not freaked out Begging to be found or pushing you away because you said you loved me.

Then, what are you doing?

I'm just I'm dealing right now.

- With what?

- I don't wanna talk about it.

Okay?

(PANTING)

Whatever it is, I've got you.

- (HEAVY BREATHING)

- Okay?

(THUNDER)

- It's okay.

It's ok - No, no.

I just, I just, - I just don't want you to see me like this.

- I wanna see all of you.

Stop.

I love all of you.

(CRYING)

It's okay, it's okay.

GAEL: Think it's interesting how the second you're done playing out your Latino lover fantasy, you have time for good old all-American Jamie.

You were the one that I trusted!

(CLICK)

You're a mistake.

- Jamie!

- (THUNDER)

(SHUTS DOOR)

Yeah, yeah, yeah I just need to find Somewhere to rest my head A place where I can feel more clear I carry all this pain And I don't understand Help me take away the fear Now, I'm looking for Serenity Serenity for my mind And I'm looking for Serenity Serenity For my mind (DOOR OPENS)

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

(GROAN)

How do you feel?

(GROAN)

That was the best Valentine's Day gift you gave me.

Aw.

Glad you liked it.

(SIGH)

(TRAFFIC NOISE, HELICOPTER)

(DOOR SHUTS)

Feeling better?

Yeah.

Sometimes, I my chest gets tight, and my head starts spinning with all these negative thoughts of what could happen, and I can't breathe.

And so, I just need to be alone and hold on until it passes.

How long has this been happening?

Since I was a kid.

But I get through it, you know?

It's fine.

Have you ever talked to anyone about anxiety?

Look, I know some people think that mental health is something to be ashamed of, but it's not.

You don't have to hold on.

You can get help.

Why do you think I haven't said I loved you?

'Cause you haven't.

I said you're my girl.

- That does not spell I love you.

- But you know.

I can't read your mind!

Women need to hear the words.

You need to open your mouth and speak your feelings.

- Speak my feelings.

- Yeah.

It's okay.

Well, read my lips then.

Look.

Look.

(GIGGLE)

I love your eyes.

(GIGGLE)

I love your smile.

I love your wheezy-ass snore.

Hey.

That was just one time - when my nose was congested.

- Uh-huh.

(LAUGH)

I love you, Malika Williams.

This is what it is Thank you.

This is who we are (GROANING)

Ooh!

Ooh!

Jamie!

- You bought my art piece.

- (THUNDER)

Yes.

(GASP)

Thank you, man.

Oh sh*t.

Ah Oh, I think I need to go to the hospital.

(GROANING)

(SIZZLING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Am I having a stroke or is someone making bacon?

Hm.

And pancakes.

- You're an angel.

- (GIGGLE)

Where were you?

You know what?

I don't wanna know.

Where's Jamie?

Uh, he took Gael to the hospital.

Wait, what?

Why, what happened?

We can do this.

I can't look.

- I'm having the time of my life.

- We can do this.

Three Booyah!

Two - Ah!

- One!

(THUD)

- (cr*ck)

- (GROAN)

- (GASPING)

- (MUSIC WINDS DOWN)

- Oh - Oh, right.

Wow.

That scene should come with a "do not try this at home" disclaimer.

How are you feeling this morning?

Okay, I'm sorry about the text chain!

I don't care what they said!

I never fit in here anyway!

Yeah, because you never made an effort!

Yeah, I did.

I did make an effort.

I'm sorry I can't just be up everyone's asses - like Isabella.

- Okay, that's not fair.

She's just trying to make friends and At least she's not holed up at work, or at her boyfriend's apartment all day.

Well, at least I wasn't talking sh*t about you behind your back.

Oh, like you don't talk to anybody else about me.

- Not even Jamie.

- (THUNDER)

It doesn't mean that I don't love you!

Well, I feel like you don't like me.

Well, I feel like you don't like me.

(THUNDER)

Maybe we're not best friends anymore.

Maybe we're just sisters.

Maybe.

(THUNDER)

(CRYING)

(SNIFFLING)

Yeah, I feel okay.

ISABELLA: Breakfast is served.

Wait, has anyone seen my phone?

Didn't Davia take it?

Right.

- (KNOCKING)

- Davia?

(CLEARS THROAT)

I was just looking for my phone.

So, I'm just Oh, loving the bronze.

(CHUCKLE)

I know I'm not perfect That's why I try and leave Don't let it go on I don't need to try to make it hard It just comes easy Hey Good morning.

Good morning.

(THUNDER)

I wanna tell you something.

Me, too.

What to know I don't wanna make no sh*t - I took shrooms.

- (SONG ENDS)

A landslide can be such a terrifying thing, but such a beautiful song.

You know, whatever happened to Stevie Nicks?

I don't wanna get old.

Oh my God.

I'm gonna get old.

And die.

(LAUGHING)

(CACKLING)

- Just focus on me.

- (CHUCKLE)

I love clouds.

(LAUGHING)

(SOBBING)

Is it gonna be this dark forever?!

The sun will be up soon.

So, um, my friend, the woman that's been coming here with me.

- The one who pockets the coffee creamer?

- (CHUCKLING)

Yeah Sorry about that.

(LAUGH)

Um So, I'm in love with her and I wanna tell her.

But, um, Jacob's mother, my ex-wife, she's pregnant and getting married again, and I think, um, maybe I feel guilty for, um Also moving on with life?

I just feel like somebody has to, you know, grieve our son.

I think we can all relate to that feeling.

Like, we have to stop living in order to honor the person we lost, especially a child.

Yeah, she's really been there for me.

Davia, you know?

I couldn't have done this without her.

I might not even be here without her.

SAM: When my wife d*ed, her best friend was really there for me.

I thought I was in love with her.

We got involved.

And then, when I started coming here and getting better, I realized that - I loved her as a friend - Mm-hmm.

but not as someone that I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with.

Ended up really hurting her, and I should've taken more time and been more careful with her feelings.

SUSAN: Well, it's hard in a state of grief to know the difference between need and love.

That's why it's best not to start any new relationship too soon.

So, you were gone a while.

Did you go all the way to New York for these bagels?

I went to a meeting.

Was it easier to talk about things without me there?

I guess.

- I'm sorry.

- No, it's okay.

I understand.

- (CLEARS THROAT)

- CALLIE: What's the verdict?

- Uh, broken wrist.

- RAJ: Oh.

I could make some more breakfast if Uh, no thank you.

Uh, we grabbed something.

Yep, uh - Ready to go?

- Yeah.

- (GRUNT)

- Thank you for the most interesting Valentine's Day in recent memory.

See you later.

- Next time, we'll stick the landing.

- (LAUGH)

- High five!

Okay.

- (LAUGH)

I'm heading up.

- Feel better, man.

- Thanks.

Hey, so, uh, I talked to Alice about your renter's insurance, and I think we should just sign a new lease.

Great.

Thanks.

- I'm gonna go take a shower.

- Okay.

ISABELLA: Oh, your Valentine's Day present!

How is it?

(SIGH)

It's amazing.

I love it.

I thought you would.

You thought I would?

I was just helping Mariana brainstorm, and I know you're into magic, so (WATER RUNNING)

(GIGGLE)

If peace is out there why Is so hard to find We all, we all We all caught the fear Jamie, I love you so much, but I am not ready to get engaged.

Uh, okay.

That came outta left field.

I I was looking for some socks, and I saw the engagement ring - in the drawer.

- Oh We haven't even discussed getting married.

- I know, I know.

- Then why would you buy a ring?

(LAUGH)

(SIGH)

I, uh I didn't buy that ring for you.

It was meant for my ex, Heather.

Oh.

Did you propose to Heather?

- Yeah.

- What happened?

She said no.

We've got no alibi, yeah