Omega Chi house - Evan’s bedroom
Evan and Casey are getting dressed while chatting.
Casey : So, I’m thinking I’ll wear blue to the tea, then black to the president’s diner. Or is black too sexpot ?
Evan : What’s wrong with sexpot ? You look good in sexpot.
Casey : Oh, and I’m sure your parents would think so.
Evan : Sexpottery is the first thing you should bring up with my parents.
Casey : Come on, be serious. So, what shouldn’t I bring up ?
Evan : Hum… reality TV. My mother thinks it’s beneath contempt. She on the board at PBS, so…
Casey : I’ll cram in episode of « Masterpiece Theatre ».
Evan : Nice. And, as for my dad, he just got b*rned trying to buy an IT company. So, don’t mention technology. He’ll go ballistic.
Casey : Ok, No technology.
Evan : Yeah, no technology. And I guess the number one topic to avoid is, hum, my brother Patrick.
Casey : The one who…
Evan : Lives in Costa Rica, wear mandals, has dreadlocks ? That’s him. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be great.
Casey : It’s just that I know how important they are to you. And the rest of the world. I mean, you’re like, part of a dynasty. The Chambers of Chambers International and Chambers Foundation. I mean, your father’s being honored for donating a building to CRU. That’s major.
Evan : I’m used to it, I guess.
Casey : I love that it’s no big deal to you. It’s… sexy.
Evan : Someday, you and I…(They lie on the bed and start kissing) … will have a dynasty of your own.
KT House - Living room
Cappie is lie on the pool table telling a story to his brothers.
Cappie : In 79 AD, on some date right around now, the mighty Mount Vesuvius erupted, laying waste to the Citizen of Pompei. Each year, we honor those lost souls…with beer bongs and hotties.
All : Yeah !
Cappie : Vesuvius is a homecoming legend. No one on Greek Row even tries to compete on this night. Ir’s the party against which all other parties are judged.
Rusty hands up.
Cappie : Spitter ?
Rusty : Do we need dates ?
All laugh.
Cappie : No little man, dates are for date functions. This is a party. Parties are for random hook-ups. This is a perfect opportunity for you to hone your game.
Rusty : Great.
Doorbell rings.
Rusty : I got it.
Cappie : He’s got it.
Rusty goes to open the front door. There are a lot of girls from all sororities who bring baskets.
A girl : Crush basket delivery !
Rusty : What’s a crush basket ?
All girls come in handing him baskets, and go out. Except one ! A ZBZ girl.
ZBZ girl : A crush basket is one of the many ways a ZBZ girl, or any other sorority girl, for the matter, can let a guy know that she’s interested in him. ZBZ handbook.
Rusty is still crowed with the baskets.
ZBZ girl : Uh, do you want some help ?
Rusty : Hum… Maybe you can pick that up while I take these in.
ZBZ girl : Ok.
Rusty goes to the living room with the baskets.
Rusty : Crush baskets.
All : Yeah ! All right !
Rusty comes back to take the last baskets.
ZBZ girl : I’m Jen K. There are three Jens in ZBZ house : Jen R, Jen B, and Jen Y. Funny, huh ? « Jen Y » like « Gen Y ».
Rusty says nothing while his brothers come to help him.
Jen K : So, what’s your name ?
Rusty : Rusty C. For Cartwright.
Jen K : Cartwright ? There’s a Cartwright in my sorority. We have to memorize everyone for pledging. Casey Cartwright. Junior. ZBZ pledge Educator. Favorite color : pink. One brother. Oh. Are you the brother
Rusty : Yes. But Casey and I aren’t exactly in the same social circle, as in probably none of those crush baskets are for me.
Jen K : Oh.
Doorbell rings again. And Rusty’s going to open the door.
A Tri-Pi girl : One more. This is for Cappie form all the girls at Tri-Pi.
The Tri-Pi girl leaves and Jen K too.
Jen K : I gotta go. Bye.
Cappie comes.
Cappie : Come on, Spitter, we’ve got a meeting to finish up in here.
They shut the front door.
Rusty : This is for you.
Cappie : So many Tri-Pis, so little shame. What about those two ?
Rusty goes to pick those two baskets.
Rusty : Ben Bennet and … Rusty… « From your ZBZ secret admirer ».
Cappie (smiles) : Hey Wade, get the camera. Our little Rusty just got his first crush basket.
All are cheering.
Credits
KT House - Living-room
Rusty : Do you realize what this means ?
Cappie : Basket isn’t from your sister, I hope.
Rusty : Somebody already likes me. I could actually get a girlfriend without having to do stuff I’m terrible at. Like talking to girls. Figure out she is so I don’t do something stupid in front of her without even knowing it.
Cappie explore Rusty‘s baskets.
Cappie : Don’t rush me. (He notices a note)
Rusty : What is this ?
Cappie : « Hey, sexy. Wear this T-shirt to Vesuvius. » You’re gonna look like a traffic cone. I guess, she’ll be able to pick you out of the crowd.
Rusty : I can’t believe she called me sexy. I Wonder who she is.
Cappie : Settle down. She’s going to reveal herself to you at the party. So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.
Rusty : I can do that.
Cappie : Your fly’s open.
ZBZ House - Ashleigh & Casey’s room
« Man : I do believe ‘twas he.
Woman : Oh no, my lord, I’ve been talking with a suitor here… »
Ashleigh is watching TV.
Ashleigh : Are they even speaking English ?
Casey : It’s Shakespeare, Ashleigh. What do you think . Is it Katie Couric, or Meredith Viera ?
Ashleigh : Neither. What’s up with the bad news-anchor fashion ?
Casey : There are certain expectations that come with being a Chambers. They’re American royalty; I want to live up to those expectations.
Ashleigh : American royalty ? So you could be like Princess Diana. Before the tunnel.
Casey : Exactly.
Rebecca walks in front of Casey and Ashleigh‘s room.
Rebecca : Oh. I didn’t know middle-aged matron was in this season.
Casey shuts the room door.
KT House - Heath’s room
Heath and Calvin are getting dressed.
Heath : Hey, I was thinking, maybe we could spend a little more time together. Go to something. Clothed.
Calvin : You mean something like, uh, I pick you up in my dad’s minivan, bring you some flowers, pay for a movie and hope you hold my hand during scary parts ? What did you have in mind ?
Heath : I don’t know. Grab some food ?
Calvin : Well, we all got to eat.
Calvin is ready to leave by the window.
Calvin : I’ll give you a call.
ZBZ House
Casey, Evan and his parents are in the dinning-room.
Casey : I’m so glad you cold come see the house.
Evan : Casey’s gonna be president of ZBZ next year.
Mr. Chambers : Good for you. We’re so pleased that Evan decided to run for Omega Chi president. It’s a great thing to have on that résumé if you want to get into politics.
Casey : Oh. Evan’s political. Just yesterday we were watching « Frontline ».
Mrs. Chambers : I don’t know girls your age that Watch public television.
Casey : All the time in fact. I just saw the most wonderful adaptation of « Othello » on PBS. The staging of Desdemona’s m*rder was incredibly powerful.
Mrs. Chambers : I helped secure funding for that.
Casey : You’re kidding ! Well, you have excellent taste.
Mrs. Chambers : I like to think so.
Rebecca joins them.
Rebecca : Hi, Casey. So that’s why you were trying on all those clothes ! These must be Evan’s parents !
Mr. Chambers : Pleasure.
Rebecca : Evan totally has your eyes.
Mrs. Chambers : Thank you.
Rebecca : I’m Rebecca Logan. Casey’s my big Sis in the sorority.
Mrs. Chambers : You’re Senator Logan’s daughter ! We heard you were going to school here.
Mr. Chambers : You didn’t mention you knew her.
Evan : Uh, it must have slipped my mind.
Rebecca : Casey didn’t mention you, which is surprising because Casey and I share everything when it comes to Evan. Right, Casey ?
Evan clears throat.
Rebecca : Mr. Chambers, I just read about the new IT company you’re acquiring. You must be thrilled, your biggest deal.
Mr. Chambers : The deal didn’t go th rough. Some political antitrust bull.
Rebecca : I’m sorry to hear that. It’s too bad we didn’t meet earlier. Maybe my father could’ve helped out. Well, next time.
Mrs. Chambers : Rebecca, why don’t you join us ?
Evan : No, No, she… Rebecca’s a very busy person.
Mr. Chambers : Oh, just like your mother.
Rebecca : Besides, you’re here to get to know Casey, not boring old me. Congratulations on being honored.
Mr. Chambers : Thank you.
KT House - In the Garden
All the brothers are around Cappie for a meeting.
Cappie : Gentlemen, behind this tarp sits an important piece of Kappa Tau lore. It was built in 1999 by the legendary Kappa Tau, Egyptian Joe, who was inspired after a weekend of special brownies and a « Real World : Hawaii » marathon. Last year, this baby violated several local fire ordinances and one law of physics. After eight years at Cyprus Rhodes, Joe was forced to leave.
A man : Bummer.
All bow their heads.
Cappie : But, his proud creation lives on. I give you Vesuvius !
All are cheering.
Cappie : Beaver, let’s light this mother up.
Sparks arise and Vesuvius cr*ck up.
All are groaning.
Cappie : What the… ? All right, well, let’s not panic yet.
All are murmuring, while Cappie check the Vesuvius.
Cappie : Now you can panic.
Rusty : So wait. What does this mean ?
Cappie : This means we’re doomed. This could be worse than the O’Doul’s Debacle of ‘05.
Beaver : Hey, who knew O’Doul’s didn’t have alcohol in it ?
Cappie : Everybody knew, Beaver. If only we could figure out the volcano’s instruction manual. It’s pretty science-y.
Rusty : I’m science-y ! Give me the manual, I’ll fix the volcano !
Cappie : You’re sure pledge . Because if you do this, this party is in your hands. Your small, delicate, very girlish hands.
Rusty : This volcano is gonna break two laws of physics.
All : All right !
Cappie : We counting on you, Spitter. Just our reputation as party mecca, my legacy as president and your love life ride on this. No pressure.
ZBZ House - Casey & Ashleigh’s room
Casey : Come on, Time for a shopping trip. You’ve got to help me find a new dress for Mr. Chambers’ dinner.
Ashleigh (she groans) : Casey, you are totally overreacting. So Rebecca Logan stole your thunder at tea. So what ? You’re forgetting the most important thing : You’re awesome and their son is totally in love with you.
Casey : That’s true. You’re right. I can turn this around. I’m Casey Cartwright. Parents tend to love me. Like Derek, my High school boyfriend. His mom said I was the daughter she never had. And she had a daughter. It was so awkward.
Ashleigh : So what are you worried about ? Evan’s parents are in different league, which is why I need the perfect dress. Are you in ?
Ashleigh : Are you kidding me ? You had me at shopping trip.
EXT. CRU
Calvin and Rusty are walking in the street.
Rusty : I mean, this Egyptian Joe guy was a poetry major. How complicated could his engineering be ? And then once I fix his volvano, I’ll be on my way to meet my dream woman.
Calvin : Hum…
Rusty : I just follow the manual, add a little imagination…
Calvin : Hum…
Rusty : …and expose myself to the Ebola virus.
Calvin : People can’t be satisfied with how things are. Why do they push things to the next level ?
Rusty : After setting myself on fire.
Calvin : What are you talking about ?
Rusty : Nothing. What are you talking about ?
Calvin (He chuckles) : Nothing.
Rusty : Nothing as in you and your top-secret mystery relationship ?
Calvin : No, no, it’s not a Relationship. It’s a thing.
People are on strike and they are chanting. We can see Dale.
« Two, four, six, eight
We don’t let you detonate
Two, four, six, eight
We don’t let you detonate »
Rusty : Dale ! What are you doing ?
Dale : We’re staging a protest to save the Remington/Herzog Atmospheric Destabilizing Module.
Calvin : The what ?
Rusty : It’s a device that manipulates weather patterns in a confined area. The DOD commissioned it in the 1980s. It never worked.
Dale : No, that’s exactly what they want you to think. They never turned it on. They don’t want to turn it on. They’re afraid of possibilities. We can’t let fear destroy progress. You join us.
Rusty : Actually, we’re going to Dobler’s for a pledge mixer.
Calvin : Rusty’s gonna rub elbows with secret admirer.
Dale : Enjoy your sin while the university destroys the most innovative prototype in all of science. Whatever happened to priorities .
Rusty : Sorry, Dale.
Dale : You’re no scientist, Rusty Cratwright.
DOBLER’S
Rusty and Calvin have a drink.
Rusty : Do you see that ? I think she smiled at me. Maybe that’s her.
Calvin : Well, she’s definitely wasting her time on him.
Rusty : Is that the mystery guy ?
Calvin : I’m not telling.
Jen K : Hey, Rusty !
Both gasp.
Jen K : Remember me ? Jen K ? Crush baskets ?
Rusty : yeah. Where’d you come from ?
Jen K : Right over there. I’ve been here for a while, but I didn’t want to interrupt. I started to feel weird just sitting there. So I decided to say something. I wasn’t sure of what to say.
Calvin : I’m gonna go get a refill.
Calvin leaves.
Jen K : So how that crush basket thing turn out ?
Rusty : Wait. You delivered the crush baskets. You must know who my secret admirer is.
Jen K : No, I was just the messenger. Why would you want to know, anyway ? I’d rather have the secret. And I could imagine it’s an body I wanted and not that weird guy in my English class who blew on my neck. That’s if guys gave crush baskets, but they don’t.
Rusty : You know, I think Calvin could use a hand by the bar, so…
Jen K : I can help ! (she gasps and shatters a glass on rusty‘s pants) Oh, I’m sorry.
Rusty : Stop.
Jen K : No
Rusty : Jen… Jen !
Jen K : It’s fine. I’ll help.
Rusty : Jen, stop !!
KT House
Doorbell ring and Cappie open the door to a policeman.
Policeman : I need a noise permit for the Vesuvius Party.
Cappie : Since when does that rule get enforced ?
Policeman : Since I was hired.
Cappie : Oh, Ok, I get it. So, uh, Officer… Huck, you look like you could use a little break. You want to come on in and we’ll set you up with a nice cold beer. That’s what Officer Bob always did. Where is good old Bob, anyway ?
Policeman : Rehab.
Cappie : Oh.
Policeman : Your permit deadline was today 0900 hours. No permit, no party. Although you could see if the Events Office will make an exception. All you got to do is ask Gladys.
Cappie groans and shut the door.
Cappie : Gladys !
All are groaning.
Cappie : Pledge !
A boy run to Cappie.
Cappie : Assemble my Cougar Sack. Don’t forget to put in the aftershave. I said, bring me my Cougar Sack !
The boy run into upstairs.
Cappie : I’m going in.
ZBZ House - Living - room
Evan waits for Casey in the coach.
Casey : Hey, what perfect timing. I was trying on the dress I got for your dad’s dinner. What do you think ? I was going for Angelina Jolie. You know, sexy for you, charitable for your parents.
Evan : It’s great. It’s great. It’s, um…Listen, Case, about dinner…
Casey : Oh, is it too sexy ? Too Angelina-home wrecker, not UN ambassador ?
Evan : No, no, no. It’s perfect. It’s not that. It’s… Ok. My parents just invited some bigwig to sit at their table. Some political connections that can help my dad. Some, you know, asset.
He sights.
Evan : I feel like a total jerk, but… they need your ticket.
Casey : My… ticket ?
Evan : Yeah, Yeah. I mean, they needed a seat at the table for this … person.
Casey : Wow. I thought they liked me.
Evan : They do. They do like you. This is nothing personal. It’s just business.
Casey : You know… When someone tells you it’s not personal, I mean, it’s something personal.
Evan : No, not with my parents. Ok, you’ve got to trust me. Ok, this has nothing to do with you. This is the way things work in Chambers-land. Never miss an opportunity to network. And you can appreciate that, right ?
Casey : Sure, I get it.
Evan : Great.
He exhales.
Evan : Um…Ok, I’ll call you as soon as I get back. (Silence) We’re cool, right ?
Casey : Of course.
Evan : Ok.
CRU dorms - Rusty’s bedroom.
Rusty is reading manual of Vesuvius, with a lot of pieces around him. Dale is in his side of bedroom, reading a brochure.
Rusty : None of this makes any sense. Listen to this. Ah. « Golden Wheat Thin, Crunchy little bite of god, With love, I eat you ».
Dale : I think that’s a haiku.
Rusty : I know, but it doesn’t help me build this stupid volcano. Neither does a list of the bra sizes of the 2005 Tri-Pi pledge class. Or drawings about different types of monkeys. Damn it !
Air hissing and Dale gasps.
Rusty : Without this volcano, there will be no party, there’s gonna be no secret admirer, and then I’ll never get a girlfriend.
Dale : You shouldn’t be concentrating on this anyway, all right ? The module situation has gotten dire. We’re gonna stage an all-campus sit-in and I really hope to see you there.
Dale hands the brochure and leaves.
Rusty : « Crunchy little bite of god. »
ZBZ House
Jen K open the front door. It’s Rusty.
Jen K : Oh. Hi. I’m glad it’s you. I wanted to apologize for any part that I payed…
Rusty : Stop talking. One word answers. Is my sister here ?
Jen K : No.
Rusty : Did she take her car ?
Jen K : I think so. Three words. Sorry. What’s wrong ?
Rusty : I need a car. It’s a matter of life and death. Social death.
Jen K : I have a car. I can drive you. Look, I know I talk a lot, but it’s because I’m nervous around new people. It gets a lot better once I get to know a person. And I’m a good driver. And you seem really desperate.
Administration Office
Gladys : I don’t care if you’re raising money for children in Darfur. Request to assemble denied. Next !
Cappie : Hello there, sunshine.
Gladys : Is that Old Spice you’re wearing ?
Cappie : Why, yes, it is. Ultra.
Gladys : What do you want ?
Cappie : Well, I was told you were a discerning woman. A woman who appreciates the classics. And after so many years wasted on callow young women who don’t, I decided to gather up my courage and seek out a kindred spirit. That is what I want, Gladys.
She sniffs and smiles.
Gladys : That’s a very jazzy jacket. No one wears madras anymore.
Cappie : More’s the pity. And might I say the same about your lovely sweater ? Why did they stop sequins on wool ?
Next man : Can we please hurry things up ?
Gladys : Hold your water, pal.
ZBZ House
Casey and Ashleigh down stairs.
Casey : After this, I’m going on a fro-yo binge.
Ashleigh : You are bummed about Evan screwing you out of going to this dad’s dinner. I can cancel on Calvin. You need me.
Casey : I’m fin, Ash. And I told you, he didn’t screw me. It was a business decision. Nothing personal. And I’m totally ok with it. I’m more than OK. I’m good with it.
Rebecca : Hi, guys. So ? (She’s turning on herself in a black dress) It was designed for Kate Hudson for the Golden Globes, but she didn’t have the goods to fill it out. Lucky me, I get to wear it to the dinner.
Casey : What dinner ?
Rebecca : The dinner for Evan’s dad; I guess a ticket just became available and they invited me. Wasn’t that sweet ?
EXT. CRU
Heath and Calvin are to a table in a Café.
Calvin : All right. So we’re clothed and we’re eating.
Heath : I was also hoping we could talk.
Ashleigh : Hey guys !
Calvin : Ashleigh !
Ashleigh : Sorry, I’m late. Major house drama.
Calvin : What do you doing here ?
Ashleigh : What do you mean ? You told me…
Calvin : Well, join us.
Omega Chi House - Evan’s room
Casey : « Some big-wig » Evan ? « Some big-wig » is Rebecca Logan ? How could you do this to me.
Evan : Oh, God.
Casey : Did you think I wouldn’t find out ?
Evan : I hoped you wouldn’t.
Casey : It’s like you cheated on me again !
Evan : No, no, Case, listen to me. It’s not like that at all. Ok, I shouldn’t have told you. You’re right. You’re right. It’s just…I didn’t think I could convince you it’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal. But now, you’re making it a big deal, so I guess it is a big deal. Even though it’s not a big deal.
Casey : Are you trying to confuse me ?
Evan : No.
Casey : Because, it’s not going to work. I am pissed.
Evan : I know.
Casey : So, if it inst’ a big deal, Evan, why are you going and why is she going ?
Evan : Because her father is a senator and my parents want to make that connection and there is nothing I can do about that… Case… (He sights)… it’ll all be over in just a few hours.
Casey : That may not be soon enough.
Casey opens the bedroom door and she leaves.
Evan : Case…
EXT. CRU - In the street
Ashleigh : I had a good time with you guys. Wait, I just had the best idea ! I am so going to hook you up with Zeta Beta at Vesuvius tonight ! Won’t that be awesome ? So meet me by the kegs. See you guys at the party.
Calvin : I can’t wait.
Ashleigh leaves.
Calvin : So, I’ll see you at the party too.
Heath : You know what ? I think I’m gonna pass.
Calvin : Pass ? On what ?
Heath : Pass on this. Like whatever this is. This was a date and so you recruited Ashleigh to bust in so you wouldn’t have a talk to me. Not cool.
Heath leaves.
CRU - Engineering building.
Rusty walks slowly, as we heard footsteps approaching.
Jen K : Hi.
Rusty : What are you doing ? You’re supposed to wait in the car.
Jen K : I couldn’t. It is so exciting. What is this place ?
Rusty : Basement the engineering building. They use it for storage but you have to leave. I’m about to commit what could be a breach of homeland security.
Jen K : Rusty, this is the most fun I’ve had since I got to this school. I’d tell you all the reasons why you let me help, but then I’d be talking a lot again. Like now. So I can’t. Tell you.
Rusty : I’m gonna steal the Remington/Herzog Atmospheric Destabilizing Module to power the Vesuvius volcano. If it works, the module will condense all moisture in a 300-foot radius, steam it up through the volcano like a geyser. It might even make a few thunderclaps. You’re still interested ?
Jen K : Thunderclaps ? Yeah.
Rusty : Shhhh ! It’s right up there.
They go on to walk slowly to find Dale, slept against the room door, holding a placard where we can read « Will sit for Science ».
Dale (slept) : I won’t let you take it, you beast ! (He is awaking) Rusty ! You came !
Rusty : Uh, yeah. I had an idea to take this protect thing to the next level.
Dale : I’m listening.
Rusty : It’s not enough to just keep this module from being destroyed. Let’s say we save it. They keep it locked up, untouched, never used, not even once.
Dale : I have dreamt of caressing its shiny aluminum shell. I imagine it to be very, uh, very smooth.
Rusty : And then after we touch it, maybe we could just, I don’t know, take it somewhere. Somewhere safe. And then…
Jen K : We could turn it on.
Dale : Rusty, lead me not into temptation.
Rusty : I know, Dale, I know. But ask yourself this question : What’s the biggest evil ? Committing an act of civil disobedience or allowing the fifth most innovative atmospheric prototype of all time to die a lonely, undignified death ?
Dale : I have the key.
They open the room door to see the Remington/Herzog Atmospheric Destabilizing Module. Rusty can wait to take it.
Dale : Stop that !
Rusty : What ?
Dale : Do you have any idea how delicate it is ? You can’t just grab it like a slab of beef. Move. (He kneels to talk to the machine) Hell, pretty girl. I hate the way they’ve got you cooped up in this dirty crate.
Rusty : Dale ! Come on !
Dale takes it and smiles as an alarm chirping loudly.
Rusty : Run !!!
CRU street - In Jen K’s car.
Dale : Rusty, I can’t go to jail. I have serious food allergies.
Rusty : We’re Ok, Dale. No one followed us.
KT House
Dale : You said we were going somewhere safe. Kappa Tau house is not safe ! It’s a filth palace ! And I won’t go in there and neither is the module !
Jen K : Think about it this way, Dale. This is the last place they’d think to look for it.
Rusty : What about Jesus ?
Dale : What about him ?
Rusty : Didn’t Jesus walk amongst the sinners ? Think of all people you’ll have an opportunity to convert.
Dale : Jesus, take the wheel. All right.
ZBZ House - Living room
Casey’s on the couch as women chuckling and murmuring, and she see Rebecca go to Evan’s dad dinner.
Casey : Who’s ready to start drinking ?
KT House - In the garden
Cappie got the noise permit. He’s sighing as he used to drink.
Rusty is in the volcano with Dale and Jen K.
Rusty : Ok, the plan is we hook the volcano up to the module’s cooling system to create the condensation effect.
The module is beeping.
Dale : It’s exactly as I’d imagined.
Rusty : So let’s get to work. My secret admirer awaits.
INT. KT House
Heath’s leaves his room as he meet Calvin in hallways.
Calvin : Hey.
Heath : Hi.
Calvin : Well, listen, uh, I just wanted to apologize for the whole Ashleigh thing. And, uh, I wanted to tell you…
Heath’s brothers, Wade and an other guy, walk in the hallways.
Heath : Hey ! What’s up ?
Wade : Yeah ! Party !
When they go, Calvin and Heath continue.
Calvin : Um, look…Um, I thought this was just a fling, you know ? So when you wanted more, (he chuckles) it sort of freaked me out.
Heath : I just asked for one date.
Calvin : No, yeah. No, I know.
Wade and the other guy come back in the hallways.
Heath : Hey !
Wade : Whoo !
Heath (laughing) : Hey !
Wade : Yeah !
Calvin and Heath continue their conversation.
Calvin : Ok, uh, what I’m trying to say is, uh… that it freaked me out when you wanted a date, but what freaked me out more was you blowing me off. And I realized that I really like you. And I don’t know what that means, you know, but, uh, I would like to find out. So, uh, should we get out of here ? We check out the party ?
Heath : You realize we can duck Ashleigh all night long ?
Calvin : One second thought, let’s grab a cup of coffee.
Heath : Cool. (Other guys come in the hallways) Hey !
They’re laughing and are going to the party.
Both : Whoo !
KT House - In the garden
All are partying, dressed in Hawaiian.
Cappie meet Wade.
Cappie : So does fuchsia make me look hippy ?
Wade : Kinda.
Cappie sees Casey.
Cappie : Nice coconuts. So why aren’t you at that posh dinner with his Pomposity Lord Chambers ?
Casey : Oh, that. He went… (she clears throat) without me. Apparently, I’m not posh enough for his parents.
Cappie : Ah, quintessential Chambers move. Use the son to expand the evil empire. And he went right along with it.
Casey : It’s not like that.
Cappie : Well, whatever it’s like, it’s got you hitting Wade’s Hula Hooch pretty hard. Cheers.
Cappie leaves when Ashleigh join Casey.
Ashleigh : Calvin and Heath totally dissed me ! I can’t find them anywhere. Are you still moping over dump head Evan ? Just stop. Stop thinking about Rebecca in her designer dress with her boobs busting out, throwing herself all over Evan as they dance, his parents start writing their wedding vows. Just stop.
Casey : I wasn’t thinking about that !
Ashleigh : Oh.
Casey : And now I am. I can’t get it out my head !
Ashleigh : Ok, picture the audience in their underwear. Wait, that’s for stage fright. This problem needs to be tackled head on.
Casey : Where are we going ?
Ashleigh : To make sure that skank doesn’t put her hooks into your boyfriend.
Casey : You are such a good friend.
Ben Bennett and Dale are chatting.
Ben : So David got stoned with the Philistines ? Cool.
Dale : No, no, Ok ! David smote the Philistine with a stone, not smoked with th Philistines and got stoned. Ok, it’s totally different. You go to college ?
Rusty is here, dressed with his orange T-shirt, where we can read « STUPID », to find his secret admirer. He meet Cappie.
Cappie : Hey, volcano all set ?
Rusty : All set.
Cappie : Don’t believe everything you read.
Cappie leaves when Jen K join Rusty.
Jen K : Hey.
Rusty : Oh, it’s you. I’m looking for my secret admirer. She told me to wear this shirt. Pretty funny, huh ? It must be a nightshirt.
Jen K : That was in your basket ?
Rusty : Yeah, along with a note that said to meet her here. No offense, Jen, but if she sees me talking to you, she might…get the wrong idea.
Jen K : Ok, Rusty, there’s something I…
A girl : Ewww ! That’s not for you ! Where did you get that shirt ?
Rusty : In my crush basket ?
The girl : That was not you crush basket ! That was his. (She points Beaver)
Rusty : I’m sorry. There must have been some sort of mix-up.
The girl : You think ?
Jen K : Rusty, I can explain.
Cappie (talking in a megaphone) : Gather around, party people, and hold onto your leis. We’re about to blow your mind. (All is cheering) Courtesy of our little buddy, the volcanic mastermind, Spitter himself, Rusty Cartwright !
All : Five, four, three, two, one ! Whoo !
Wade is powering the volcano, but nothing happen.
All is gasping and murmuring then look on a disappointed Rusty who leave.
Evan’s dad dinner - Jazz music playing.
Evan and a man are chatting.
Evan : That’s a very generous offer. Your internship’s supposed to be topnotch.
Evan’s parents are talking to Rebecca and Admiral Lewiston.
Mrs. Chambers : Isn’t it lovely you got to meet Admiral Lewiston ? He’s a big supporter of your father.
Rebecca : Lovely is definitely the word.
Mr. Chambers : There’s Roger and Brenda. Let’s go.
Mrs. Chambers : Oh !
Mr. and Mrs. Chambers go, leaving Rebecca alone with Admiral Lewiston.
Admiral Lewiston : I, uh, can tie a knot on this with my tongue.
Rebecca : Please don’t.
We can see Ashleigh and Casey hidden behind green plants.
Ashleigh : Ugh ! This place needs DJ A.M. ASAP.
Casey : Eww ! What did that old man do with his tongue ? I almost feel sorry for her. Well, no, I don’t.
Ashleigh : I can’t see.
Casey : Stop that ! You’re shaking the plant ! This was a bad idea. Evan’s not talking to her. I should’ve trusted him. Get out of here before someone sees us.
A phone is ringing.
Casey : Oh, crap ! Oh, crap ! Where’s my phone ? Where’s my phone ?
Ashleigh : Turn it off !
All turn to green plants.
Casey : He’s coming !
Ashleigh : Let’s go ! Let’s just…
Both grunt and scream.
Evan join her.
Casey : Hi.
Evan : What are you doing here ?
Casey : Oh, God, can we just talk about this later ?
Mrs. Chambers : What is going on here ?
Rebecca : Casey ? Nice outfit.
Mrs. Chambers : Evan, please, take care of this.
Casey : I’m so sorry, Mrs. Chambers.
Mrs. Chambers : Excuse me, I’m talking to my son. You’re not even supposed to be here.
Evan : Mom, don’t talk to her like that.
Casey : Evan, I’m sorry. Ash, let’s go.
Evan : Casey, Casey, Casey, wait.
Mrs. Chambers : Evan, it’s time to introduce your father. It’s all right. Everything’s under control.
Jazz music continues.
INT. KT House
Jen K look for Rusty who is alone in the living room
Jen K : Hey. I… I put your name on that crush basket, but I didn’t know about the note and the shirt.
Rusty : Why would you do that ?
Jen K (sights) : Because I felt bad for you.
Rusty : Oh, that makes me feel a lot better ! Thanks, Jen. Thanks for taking pity on the most pathetic pledge ay Cyprus-Rhodes.
Jen K : Ok, now you are being pathetic. Then you just seemed, I don’t know, unappreciated. So, I appreciated you in a really stupid way. And I’m sorry. But I feel unappreciated too. I had a great time with you today. I haven’t felt that comfortable with a guy in, like… ever. And I thought you were feeling the same way too, but then we get here and you couldn’t wait to find your stupid secret admirer. Did you ever think that you might have… an un-secret admirer ?
Rusty : You like me ?
Jen K : Duh !
At the party, all hear a rumbling and all glasses are empty.
Beaver : Hey, where’s all the beer ?
All hear steam hisses and a rumbling again to see the volcano irruption. Volcano spews bee meell is gasping and cheering.
In the Living room.
Rusty : I think I just felt the earth move.
Jen K : Me too. No, seriously. I think we’re having an earthquake.
We hear blinds ratting and glass breaks. Rusty and Jen K go out to the party, where we hear the thunder.
Dale : It’s a miracle !
Cappie : It’s raining beer. Oh my god ! It’s raining beer !
Crowd cheering.
All : It’s raining beer.
Dale : It’s beer. I’m sorry, Lord ! I’m sorry.
Cappie : Spitter ! You have just become a legend !
All : Spitter, Spitter, Spitter.
Jen K : It worked, just like you said. It needed time to suck up the moisture !
Rusty : I think we topped Egyptian Joe.
Jen K : Hell, yes ! (He kisses her)
All : Spitter ! Spitter ! Spitter !!!
CRU street
Rusty hops and meet his sister.
Casey : Did you seriously skip just now ?
Rusty : Hey ! Did you see the volcano ? I made it rain beer. It was awesome. This has been, hands down, the best night of my life. Even better than the time they announced Pluto wasn’t a planet. I hates Pluto. It was obviously such a dwarf planet.
Casey : Wow, you’re weird. Well, I guess I’m down here on the Worst Night of Your Life end of the spectrum to balance things out (she sobs).
Rusty : What did Evan do now ?
Casey : This isn’t about Evan. It’s… It’s about his parents. And… Evan.
Rusty : The guy’s a jerk, and you’re better off without him.
Casey : Thanks for the support and understanding. I’ll be sure to do the same for you when you’re dating someone. Oh, wait. I’ll probably be too old by that time to care.
Rusty : Well, start caring, because I just walked my date home.
Casey : A real date ? Ok. I’m sorry. I feel like a crap. I got drunk… (she sights) and made an of myself in front of the esteemed Chambers clan.
Rusty : You can call them esteemed, but I’ll always believe you deserve better than Evan Chambers, Casey.
Evan is here, behind them.
Evan : Well, we agree on one thing, Rusty.
Casey : Evan. What are you doing here ?
Rusty : You want to me to stay ?
Casey : No. But thanks.
When Rusty goes, Evan join Casey to give his jacket.
Casey : Thank you. I’m sorry for crashing the party. And I think I accidentally flashed that admiral guy.
Evan : Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I should’ve never put you in that position.
Casey : Then why did you ?
Evan : Because all my life I have done what it takes to get ahead. That is the Chambers way. My life has been planned out for me since I was…Before I was born. You are the person who has ever made me think that if I had to, I would take a detour. I would go all the way off the map for you.
Casey : Evan, (she sighs) I don’t want you to have to take a detour for me.
Evan : God, I messed up and I am so sorry.
They kiss.
Casey : Wait a minute. Did you leave the dinner early ?
Evan : Yeah.
Casey (laughs) : Won’t your parents be pissed ?
Evan : Definitely.