05x09 - Zari, Not Zari

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow"... I'm Charlie.

We're The Smell. We're a band.

She's a shape-shifter.

Remember when we dented history?

I have encountered a glitch during the Heyworld Event.

Find me. Your sister is the dent.

Maybe her being here, she'll remember who she was.

_

_

Hope The Smell plays "Assassination Nation" tonight.

Could give a rat's ass what they play, long as Charlie isn't AWOL two nights in a row.

_

Six quid. Don't be cheeky.

Ian's dead, Dec.

We gotta get out of here before that psycho finds us.

What do you want?

Clotho.

What the bloody hell's a Clotho?

The lead singer of your band.

You mean Charlie? She left days ago.

Don't hurt me.

My sister should know by now she can't outrun Fate.

Mm.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Wait.

Are we screaming because it's weird or because it's awesome?

This is a nightmare.

How did I even get in your room?

You slept-walked into Dr. Heywood's room at approximately 2:30 a.m.

I tried to wake you, but you assaulted my mainframe, repeating Snooze.

Hey, let's just be cool about this, okay?

I still have my pajamas on, which means we didn't...

Oh, my God. Take it easy.

You slept-walked into my room, which means something must have brought you in here.

And let's not forget, in another timeline, you and I...

Don't start with the dream girl crap.

I'm still trying to process how I spent the last five hours in...

What is this, 200 thread count? Yeah.

I gotta go.

Ah! You're up early.

Um. What are you doing?

Looks like somebody was playing Operation with Gideon's mainframe.

Or maybe it was something.

You think they have raccoons in the Temporal Zone?

Actually, Mr. Tarazi, it was...

Snooze, Gidget.

Hey. You left this in my bedroom.

Oh. Well, looky-looky.

We did not hook up. We didn't hook up.

It doesn't have to be a walk of shame if you enjoyed it.

But, if you are walking at all, you didn't enjoy it enough.

Gross, Charlie.

Hey, B, uh. Me and Z did not do... you know... the nasty.

This is a judgment-free zone.

I'm not one to shame the sexual activity of two consenting adults.

Shame's a good thing. Keeps you from hooking up with someone and ending up the parent of a 16-year-old daughter.

Oh, ooh, well, what naughty business have I stumbled across, then?

Uh, nothing. We just... we like, um, hanging out in hallways. Nothing, good-bye.

Well, then, Charlie. We have some business to attend to, love. We do.

But first, whiskey. All right, then.

A stiff drink may indeed be in order.

I have some rather unfortunate news for you, Charlie.

Charlie.

We came as soon as we heard.

Look, the Prognosticator's scanning the timeline for Encore activity. Trust me, we're gonna figure out who's responsible for this.

This wasn't the work of an Encore.

This was my sister, Atropos.

How can you tell?

"The victim was burnt from the inside".

She's a god. That's her signature move.

Well, I'm sorry about your friends, Charlie, but, uh, your sister just fired one hell of a warning sh*t.

Now we need to get back out there and find that Loom piece before she does.

God, will you just piss off, John?

Hey, Charlie. Look, I'm sorry.

I... I've lost friends, too.

I know what you're going through.

Look, I respect your condolences, but you don't have a bloody clue what I'm going through.

Well, she's right.

We're putting the hunt for the Loom on hold.

And it's probably for the best.

With Ray gone, we're still trying to find our feet.

That gives us time to make a game plan.

But we do have a game plan.

We need to get the next piece.

Look, John, if you wanna help, then look into what we're up against.

She's a god.

I don't wanna take the team into a situation we can't get out of.

Yeah, yeah. All right, all right.

I overstepped the mark, didn't I?

I'm sorry.

I am sorry, Charlie, but my promise to Astra and her mum cannot wait for your tears to dry.

Ostende mihi viam.

Ah.

Welcome back, sis.

Lachesis.

You smell of that slowly dying world filled with apathy.

Any luck?

Clotho has taken on a vulgar, mortal name:

Charlie.

Oh, this is too good to be true.

Elaborate.

My protégé, Astra, happens to know of a time traveler who's looking for our Loom.

One of his companions is a woman.

Goes by Charlie.

A time traveler.

That's how Clotho has eluded me.

Fortunately, I can track John Constantine.

Without Fate, mortals are making a mess of their lives.

With our Loom, order can be restored.

Find John Constantine, and you will find our sister.

And when you do... make it a hell of a family reunion.

Gideon, next time John steals the jumpship, a little heads-up would be nice.

Thanks to Ms. Tarazi, I'm still stuck on snooze mode.

Is your sister just looking for you, or is she looking for the Loom?

Both, I reckon.

We have to go after him. We?

That bastard's the reason I'm mortal.

I don't owe him squat.

He's going after the ring. You're the only one who knows where he's headed.

Look, we'll be in and out.

Okay, fine. Soon as we get going, the sooner I can get back to drinking in peace.

Great, let's portal.

Parenting sucks!

Hmm. Maybe I should stay, huh?

Are you volunteering for Rory duty?

Ava Sharpe, you are a better woman than I.

Okay, babe. Catch you on the flip side.

Stay safe.

The ring's that way.

He couldn't have gotten too far.

Let's gear up in the jumpship.

Kid's not into bears, huh?

She ripped its head off. Yeah, I see that.

Well, like father, like daughter.

I mean, hey, you should be proud.

At least she's tough, like you.

She said I ruined her life.

Now I gotta portal back to that stupid reunion party and stop myself from sleeping with Ali.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There are so many reasons why that's a bad idea. Don't care.

Stop. You can't just erase your daughter's existence, Mick.

There has to be another option.

What?

What if we go back through the last 15 years, and we... and we place you into all of her key memories?

Like a highlight reel.

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of what Rip did with me.

Programmed me with a bunch of memories that added up to be a childhood.

It wasn't perfect, but I turned out okay.

She's not a clone. Ouch.

Yeah, she's not a hmm, but she is programmable, in a sense.

Won't work. Why?

I spent the first ten years of her life in prison.

Right.

I have an idea.

_

You sure hid this one well.

Didn't think I'd ever be coming back here, did I?

Huh. That's cool.

Looks like "Supernatural's" filming here.

Super-what? You've never seen it?

It's this show about these two hot brothers who fight demons.

I wonder if the Winchester brothers are here!

Seriously? Dean is my hall pass.

I bet you used to wild out back in the day.

There was no drinking on the job.

It's kind of the occupational hazard of having the Fate of humanity in your hands.

So you guys literally used to weave Fate?

I mean, it's not like it is in the storybooks, but yeah.

I spun up the threads of each life.

Old Lachesis... she measured out how long each life got to be.

And then, Atropos, she...

So she k*lled... Everyone.

And she bloody loved it.

Hello? Greetings, sibling of mine.

Meow?

You okay, Z? Is this about the Nate thing?

I hope not, because then I'm wondering why you just said, "Meow", and I definitely don't want to know.

I think I may be losing it, and not like when I saw Tupac's hologram at the 2044 Grammy's.

But, like, mentally losing it. Something is wrong with me.

Hey, hey. Deep breaths.

This is like a form of therapy where you get to b*at up your problems.

Trust me.

Whoa, did you just b*at me?

Behrad, I don't know how to play video games.

But it's like I'm being haunted by someone who does, someone who dresses like a teenage boy and makes me do awful things like eat donuts and... cuddle with Nate.

Whoa.

How did you do that? How did I do that?

Well, what have we got here?

Oh!

What the bloody hell is that?

It's a prop.

And what did I tell you about Loom patrol?

Yeah, well, we're out here, aren't we?

So let's just find the damn thing.

Oh, yeah, have you scanned the woods for activity?

Huh? Do you have a plan if Atropos shows up?

Ah, well, I clipped Charlie's shapeshifter wings, so, no offense, love, I think I can handle her sister.

Have you not heard anything Charlie's said?

'Cause it's not gonna be that easy.

Clotho.

You are my responsibility, and I say we are going back to figure out a secure way to do this.

Yeah, well that Loom is your ticket to stopping the Encores.

You can't hide from your family.

Guys!

Jumpship.

I'm coming for you, Clotho.

My sister.

She's here.

Ava, we need backup. Ava?

Damn it, with the jumpship gone, the comms are down.

What, so we're stuck here?

The team will come looking for us eventually.

We need these more than Sam and Dean.

You've walked us right into a bloody death trap.

And that was my only option, all right?

If she gets her hand on one piece of the Loom, then she can get the next, and then she's that much closer to controlling us all.

And I'll bet my bottom dollar she's out there now looking for it, not standing around having a row in the middle of the bloody forest.

Damn it, John.

The stupid thing's that way.

By building Heyworld, we changed the future, which caused the bifurcation of the timeline radiating from that one moment.

Think of it as a historical traffic accident, and you're the dents.

Yeah, I'm not thinking of myself as a dent.

Okay, so what you think of as a haunting is a temporal echo.

She is the you before, well, you.

Okay, let's just get something straight.

There is only one Zari Tarazi.

I filed a trademark.

Do you know what this means?

You were a Legend.

From what you said about the hacking, you were probably our computer expert.

And the air totem responded to you.

You two probably shared it.

Wonder twins.

And we probably had a really super cute couple name.

Just off the top of my head, probably something like SteelHacker.

Three of us probably hung out all the time...

Ah. Getting stoned...

Oh, man! Playing ring toss with donuts.

She probably helped you save the world.

More than once. Yeah.

She sounds pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, she does.

We've gotta move faster. She could be anywhere.

Clotho.

You can't escape.

You okay? I'm okay.

We need to keep moving, love.

Where are you?

Come to me, or your friends will die.

Charlie?

_

Uh-oh. Mick?

What?

I think Ali was discharged from the hospital early, because a taxicab just pulled up outside.

Wait, this is supposed to be a s...

Surprise.

Is that what they're gonna say at Iron Heights when they find your empty cell?

What the hell are you doing here, Mick?

Oh, uh, hi. I'm Ava Sharpe.

I'm Mr. Rory's CO.

Yeah, I arranged for some visitation in exchange for some information.

Really? Yeah.

Mr. Rory's helped us bring in some of history's most dangerous criminals. What?

Yup. Okay, well, visiting hours are over.

Me and my baby are tired. Right.

Wow.

Ah. From Victorian England times...

Collection. Collection at Pottery Barn.

I don't know much about Victorian England, but it's really beautiful.

I bet she is too.

Mick, meet your daughter.

Mmm.

Lita.

Hey, how about we all get together so that Lita can remember this moment with her dad forever? Yeah?

Let's take a picture.

Aww, Mickey!

Smiles!

Wait a minute. Did you break into my house?

Garibba lifted the king's decapitated head. _

Dumb bastard.

You like that?

Daddy? _

Ah!

Do you believe in the tooth fairy?

Yay.

Whoa!

_

Say cheese.

_

_

Say cheese.

_

Kirk, we can get you new pants.

How's that for a highlight reel?

Pretty good.

Hello, Clotho.

Look at you, alone, after destroying our family.

Look, I didn't do it to hurt you, all right?

We took care of you, and you took everything we had.

People deserve to be free.

And what have they done with this freedom you gave them?

They got women the vote. They invented punk rock.

Introduced mass genocide, nuclear bombs, pollution, systematic incarceration. No, I didn't...

And after all you did to help them, how did they thank you?

By locking you in prison.

We would never let anyone hurt you like that, little sister.

Now lead me to our Loom, and perhaps, in time, we can forgive you.

Hey!

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

John, I could use a little help!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on it, I'm on it.

Where'd you go? Hemlock!

All right, yes. Oh!

Toadstool. Got it.

Now all I need is a little bit of... blood.

Te vocare, veni in auxilium mihi.

Go, grab Charlie. Get the hell out of here.

I'll find ya!

You're gonna be okay. Come on.

Hey. Let's wait for John here.

John's dead, Sara.

Atropos doesn't let people live.

Come on. We've got to keep going.

Look, it's okay. It's not.

I mean, you saw what happened back there.

I'm one of them.

No matter what I do, I'm never gonna be able to escape them, and now I've gone and got John k*lled.

Hey, look. John always finds a way.

Always finds a way to do what?

Oh, thank God.

Yeah, I'd rather not, love.

Well, your sister... she's a nasty piece of work, but it takes more than amateur Kn*fe tricks to do me in.

Well, let's get the hell out of here, shall we?

Before she realizes I'm not bleeding out on the forest floor.

Who are you?

Talking to donuts now?

LOL.

This alternate timeline stuff's got you really shaken up, huh?

Ever since Mithra came into my life, I've been the center of attention.

It's weird to have to share the spotlight.

Says the older sister to the younger brother.

Right. Sorry.

Back to me. It's a lot to take in.

I mean, this other Zari sounds so... smart and substantive, like a cool, third-wave feminist superhero that you and Nate seem to like better than me.

First off, Nate is just a sucker for doomed romances.

Secondly, of course I don't like her better than you.

You're my favorite Zari of all time.

But...

But?

You said you wanted to leave your whole Z-Nation life behind, find out what else you're capable of.

This whole situation seems like a gift-wrapped opportunity for self-exploration.

Self-exploration?

I propose a totem quest.

Go into the totem, speak to our ancestors.

Mm-hmm. Um, how do I go into the totem?

With a little psychotropic assistance. Hmm.

I knew this would lead to dr*gs.

It's totally safe.

I've done it in the past when I've been wrestling with a big problem.

It's no crazier than talking to a donut.

I know that face!

That's the one where you don't want to admit I'm right.

No, it isn't.

Totem-town, here we come. Hmm.

She played me like a fiddle.

I almost gave her the loom.

Family knows all of our weaknesses.

I don't know. Maybe she's right.

I belong with them. Come on, Charlie.

I'm a coward, Sara.

I can't even stand up to my own sister.

Hey, listen to me.

No one is responsible for the family they are born into.

All that matters is who they decide to be, and you've decided to be brave and big-hearted.

Thanks, boss.

But I am what I am.

She's gonna love it.

_

Surprise. What's this?

Nice, it's a keepsake album so I can never forget all the times that you bailed on me.

Well, I was in prison...

Not since 2015.

You know I never actually went to homecoming.

I went back inside to get my purse, and when I came back out, you were gone.

And I kept telling Kirk to wait because I wanted to say good-bye to you, but you had bailed. Like always.

So keep it.

Fine.

Uh, and there is that patented Mick Rory fade.

You know, good old dad.

Just run away like you always do, yeah?

Wait. W-w-w-w-wait... I...

I'm sorry.

Rory, it was a terrible idea, and I never should've suggested it, okay?

Rory, we can... listen to me. We can fix this.

No, we can't. Yes, we can.

I... look, I made a mistake and I feel really bad, but that doesn't give us the right to keep hurting Lita any more than we already have. Right?

Maybe it's not about the gifts, and the money, and the big birthday parties, you know?

I think it's time that you go back in there and do what we should've done from the beginning.

Go back and kick myself in the...

No. No.

Just go tell her you're sorry.

Hmm. Guess you're right.

No shortcuts.

What happened to this place?

Whoa.

Oh, it's the crew!

Wait, if they're dead, who's sh**ting season 15?

You leave a piece of the Loom of Fate somewhere long enough, there's gonna be consequences.

Don't worry about it. I'll nab it.

No, John.

Look, this is my mess, all right?

I'll do it.

Look, all I've gotta do is run over there, put my hand in that hole, grab the ring, and Bob's your uncle.

All right, well then let's go, before your sister shows up.

Uhh, what's going on? Shh.

Hey, girl.

Zari just took some Lyoga root.

She needs a little totem trip to figure out her stuff.

Uh, Gideon, what's the status with the away-team?

The jumpship is not responding.

Gideon, we talked about this.

Un-snooze. You need to tell me about things before they happen, not after.

Okay, we should help them.

Ooh, ooh. I feel high already.

Is it too late to detox?

That's the fun of dr*gs.

You can't un-take them.

Hmm. Besides, this is important.

Everything's gonna be fine, sis.

Okay.

I surrender.

Hello?

Ancestors?

Where are all the old people at?

Who you calling old?

So, if you're here, does that mean Maman and Baba... Behrad?

Oh, B's back on the Waverider.

Who do you think gave me the dr*gs?

He's alive.

Yeah, of course. Maman and Baba too.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

So why are you even asking me about Behrad?

I thought this was about me and the strange visions I've been having.

Wow.

New me came out shockingly self-absorbed.

Who are you calling the new you?

Who even are you?

Well... you, if the Legends hadn't saved the world, and you grew up in dystopian Seattle.

Once the timeline crystallized, you were out in the real world, and I was thrown in here with the rest of the totem bearers.

Wait, does that mean Nate was right?

Are you the cooler me?

Ugh.

We have a lot to talk about.

Hey, do carbs count if you eat them in a totem?

Nope. Ah.

Whoa!

Ah!

Thanks.

Okay.

Yes. I got it!

Charlie!

Sara, no!

No!

Sara, no!

You're bleeding.

You're mortal, just like them.

Pathetic.

Apologize, and we can heal you.

We can restore order to this madness.

I like the madness. Sara was right.

I'm no Fate. I'm a Legend!

And now she's dead, which makes you nothing.

Ow!

You'll never find the other pieces.

No...

Once again, your humans have let you down.

Good-bye, little sister.

So, um...

How are things with Nate?

Hmm, um, good. You know.

Yeah. Super, super cool.

Weird to feel jealous of myself.

Well, don't be too jealous.

Sorry, are you not together?

He's my brother's best friend.

It would... it would be weird.

Sorry. He and Behrad are friends?

They have this ridiculous handshake.

It's sweet.

Behrad, a Legend.

I wish I could see that.

You must be disappointed.

Yeah, I was hoping Totem-town would have a few video games.

No, I mean disappointed in me.

Why?

I mean, you were a superhero who wielded a totem and saved the world, twice.

I'm just a failed Cat-Chat celebrity.

My family's alive.

And you... you actually seem like a lot of fun.

I'm good with that.

They could be anywhere out here.

Sara! Charlie!

I thought you were dead.

Me too.

My sister... she's... she's heading for the ship.

Uh, Ava?

We have a problem.

There is a very slinky lady in a red leather pantsuit on the ship, which usually I would I would be into, but she's giving off a super

"I wanna k*ll you in the worst possible way" vibe.

Oh, my God. That must be Charlie's sister.

Listen, you need to wake up Zari and get off the ship.

Already on it.

Ava, come quick!

Oh, my God.

I think he's dead.

Oh! Don't count me out so soon, handsome.

The forest is a natural apothecary.

Zari. Zari!

Wake up. Wake up.

Zari. Wake up.

Zari. Zari!

Where's the ring?

Hey.

Look, since you're Charlie's sister, can't we just be cool about all this?

You two share blood.

She's your sister.

Yeah.

Pretty.

I'm taking the ring. Whether she dies is up to you.

You don't belong here.

No more defying Fate.

No!

Behrad.

Is he? Get the ship in the air.

She's still on the ship. Just do it!

You're not getting off this ship alive.

You saw my true form and survived.

What are you?

You're worst nightmare.

You can't k*ll me.

I'm a god.

Yeah? I've faced worse.

Gideon, you'd better be awake, 'cause I need you to open the doors now!

Fate's a bitch, innit?

Not bad.

Nice.

Come back soon.

Maybe next time, bring Behrad.

I'd like that.

Oh, my God, guys. I just had the most amazing experience. Where's Behrad?

Z, um...

What's going on?

Where is...

Oh, my God.

Behrad.

Behrad, Behrad, joon... Behrad.

How did this happen?

How did you let this happen?

He's dead.

Wait, who's dead?

Behrad.

You got us into this mess, and now he's dead because of you.

Can that Loom bring him back?

If we get the last piece, yeah.

Great. Get up, let's go. H... hold on a second.

It's not that simple, all right?

We're being hunted by a pair of bloody gods.

This situation just got a hell of a lot more dicey.

I can handle dicey!

I can handle whatever it takes to save my brother.

And until you bring him back, I am with you every minute of every damn day.

Greg, move your head.