03x30 - Ice Cave

Episode transcripts for the TV show "We Bare Bears". Aired: July 2015 to June 2020.*
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"We Bare Bears" follows three bear brothers in their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the San Francisco Bay Area.
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03x30 - Ice Cave

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go!

♪ ♪ We'll be there ♪

♪ A wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪

♪ Yeah, we'll be there ♪

♪ Wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪

♪ We'll be there when you turn that corner ♪

♪ We'll jump out the bush ♪

♪ With a big bear hug and a smile ♪

♪ We'll be there ♪

[Eerie music playing]

[Triumphant music playing]

[Playful music playing]

Ho, ho!

You're catching up with me.

Ice Bear will show no mercy.

No!

I thought we were friends!

[Laughs]

This is getting crazy.

Okay, now my turn.

Ah, ah, ah!

You're still stuck in jail, remember?

[Groans]

Man, I haven't been doing anything for, like, three turns already.

It's called the justice system, baby.

Ah, don't worry, Pan-Pan.

Once I become king of Frost Mountain, [regally]

I will pardon you from all your sins.

Come on, baby.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.

[Blowing]

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

All right, dude, you're k*lling us, man.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

Okay.

[Grunts]

Go, my little ones!

[Grizzly and Panda gasp]

Oh!

What?!

What?!

Did I win?!

Yeah, man.

You won.

Ice Bear accepts his defeat.

Here.

What?!

You are now the king of Frost Mountain.

Really?

I just can't believe ...

Oh, man!

So, how do I look?

Like a true king...

of Frost Mountain, bro!

[Knock at door]

Grizzly and Panda: Huh?

I'll go check.

Hmm.

Hello?

[Gasping]

Boo!

Aah!

[Laughs]

Ha!

What's going on, short stack?

What's up, nerds?

Oh, hey...

What's up, Ralph?

Hey, what's up, weirdo?

What is this, some sort of game you playing?

Pbht!

Yeah, uh, first one to reach the top becomes king of Frost Mountain.

I don't think you'd like it, Ralph.

Hmm.

I'll be the judge of that.

What the heck are you wearing, Tiny?

Oh, this?

I just won the game.

I'm the king now.

[Chuckles]

Pbht!

You, the king?

[Laughs]

Hilarious.

Here ...

I'll show you wimps who's true king.

Let's play.

Come on.

Uh, w-we just finished, so, uh, maybe later?

What'd you say?

I'll play this game if I want to.

Got it, Tiny?

Hmm?

Ice Bear wants you to leave.

Hey, I wasn't talking to you, chump.

I was talking to my buddy here.

Aah!

Aah!

Ow!

Ow!

You should have conversation with Ice Bear.

Ow!

Ow!

Let go of me, man.

Chill!

Hey!

What do you think you're doing?

Aah!

Ugh!

How dare you?!

You know who I am?!

Huh.

That really hurt.

[Grumbles]

Fine!

I don't need to play that stupid game of yours.

I don't need to prove who's king because I am a king.

Yeah, cool story, bro.

Later, man.

Uh, okay, Ralph.

I-I'll see you around.

Bye.

Hey!

Where do you think you're going?!

No one shuts the door on Ralph!

You'll regret this!

Look at me when I'm talking to you!

Hey, What are you doing?!

Don't close that curtain on me!

Okay, now you really did it.

Ah, just ignore him.

You want to play another game?

Whoo!

I just can't wait to be king...

again.

Ice Bear will slay hairy king.

[Laughter]

[Insects chirping]

[Snoring]

[Tchaikovsky's "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" playing]

[Gasps softly]

[Music]

[Suspenseful music playing]

[Growling]

Huh?

[Chuckling menacingly]

[Birds chirping]

[Whimpering]

[Whimpering]

Uh...

huh?

Oh.

What the...?

[Music]

Oh.

It's freezing in here.

What's going on?

How'd our place get all frozen?

Whoa!

My dreams came true!

Frost Mountain came to life!

This is crazy.

[Grunts]

The front door's stuck.

[Grunts]

I can't even open this window!

[Ralph chuckling menacingly]

Huh?

I think it's coming from the kitchen.

[Wind howling]

Ah, there you are!

I hope you had a good night's sleep, bears.

Ralph?

He ...

He made a Ralph-sized Frost Mountain!

[Chuckles]

Yeah, I did.

According to your stupid game rule, I am king!

I am king!

Now bow to your new king, nerds!

Ah, my king!

M-My king!

What are you doing, man?

Stop.

Dude, just you wait till our little bro sees what you did to the kitchen.

He's going to be ticked.

Yeah, Ralph.

You better clean this up or ...

Pbht!

Hmm!

[Music]

Or what?

Or, um...

[Chuckles]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Where is this little bro of yours anyway?

Oh, that's right.

I forgot to tell you.

I had to get rid of that karate kid.

What?!

Oh, yeah.

I got him good.

Want to see?

Come.

[Chuckles]

Come on.

[Chuckling]

Ready?

Ta-da!

[Gasps]

Little bro!

Aah!

We'll get you out of there!

Grizz, no!

Ralph ...

H-He's too dangerous.

Ice Bear will get free, and you'll be sorry.

Wise guy, huh?

Yo, Tiny!

Come here!

Me, Your Majesty?

Stay here and make sure he doesn't get away, and no funny business, or it's bad news for the bears.

I'm counting on you!

Don't embarrass me!

Just do it!

O-Okay, what are you gonna do with us?

[Chuckles]

Don't worry.

I've got an even better job for you guys.

Come!

[Both grunt]

And remember ...

no funny business.

Uh, right.

G-Guard duty.

Got it.

I-I can do this.

Just a little fun guarding time, right, buddy?

Oh, don't look at me like that!

I'm sorry, okay?!

W-What do you want me to do about it?

You heard Ralph ...

"no funny business." Ah!

I feel like I'm trapped, like I'm encased in this cold prison of fear!

I can't stand up to Ralph.

I'm just too...

noodle-y.

And even if I wanted to get out, I don't know how.

Think, Charlie.

Think.

[Clatter]

Huh?

That's it!

Don't worry.

I'll get you out of there and kicking Ralph's patoot in no time.

[Music]

Whoa!

Whoa!

[Grizzly humming]


[Chuckles]

Another dance.

Mix it up.

Faster.

Ow!

[Laughs]

Pathetic.

Keep dancing.

Peasant, my feet are getting sore from laughing.

Massage my bunions!

Yes, Ralph.

Excuse me?

Yes, King Ralph.

That's better.

What are you doing?!

Use the lotions, you fool!

Ugh, I'm gonna be sick.

[Groaning]

Oh, man!

I can't!

I can't see this!

[Grunts]

[Music]

Bro, you escaped!

Huh?

Brother!

You came to rescue us!

Couldn't just chill in prison, could you?

Disobeying the king's orders is treason.

Ice Bear will dethrone Ralph.

Is that so?

Then come up here and do it.

You and Ice Bear, one-on-one.

[Gasps]

[Laughs]

I can't believe you fell for it!

Oh, man!

This is too good!

Ahh!

Did you really think you could double-cross me, Charles?

[Gasps]

I don't know what's lamer ...

that you'd choose these bears over me or that you thought you'd succeed.

I don't know what I expected from such a weak, not-chill, noodle-y chump like you.

But how can I blame you when you're hanging around with doofs like these?

This guy, for example.

You think he's so cool, but he's just a big fool!

[Chuckles]

Mr.

Tough Guy here thinks he's all tough 'cause he's got some slick moves.

Ha!

He can't even get out of a little net!

[Chuckles]

And come on.

Do I even need to say anything here?

[Chuckles]

Yeah, I guess with friends like these, I can't expect you to be anything but a dingle.

At least they are my friends, unlike you!

[Music]

It is time for you to leave, Ralph.

Is that so?

And who's gonna make me, Tiny?

I am.

Oh.

So, you want to be a nerd then, eh?

Goodbye, Charlie.

Ooh!

[Growls]

Come back here!

Whoa.

Hiya!

Yaa!

Take this!

[Yelps]

Stay still!

Whoo!

Stop moving!

Aah!

[Chuckling]

Aah!

[Panting]

[Chuckles]

Hail to the king.

Aah!

Oh!

My eyes!

It burns!

Whoa!

[Rumbling]

Huh?

Hmm?

[Clears throat]

Ralph, it's time to say "goodbye." Do it.

[Dramatic music]

No, seriously, goodbye.

Please leave.

Fine.

I didn't want to hang out with you nerds anyway.

[Grumbling]

Nerds!

Charlie, that was amazing!

I didn't know you had it in you.

You were so brave!

Oh, stop, fellas.

It was nothing.

Huh?

[Chuckles]

I meant to do that.

You all right, buddy?

Ice Bear fell on tiny sharp thing.

Oh, the king-of-the-mountain crown.

Huh.

I think it's time for the return of the rightful king.

I couldn't agree more.

Oh, w-who's the rightful king of the mountain?

I don't think I'm dressed right to meet him.

Kneel.

For standing up for justice ...

[Music]

.. bravery, and friendship, the peoples of...

uh, uh, our cave hereby crown Charlie king of the mountain.

Hip-hip!

All: Hooray!

Wow!

I'm the king of the mountai...

Aah!

Ugh.

Hail to the king.

[Grunts]

[Fanfare plays]

Done!

Done!
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