04x06 - Orgy Pants to Work

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ We were better on the first time ♪

♪ Love as simple as a mother and a baby child ♪

♪ Then you rocked our cradle and we fell out of love ♪

[elevator bell dings] - ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Laying wide awake, tell me how could I ♪

♪ Forget all the words to a lullaby ♪

♪ We've fallen, fallen out of love ♪

- ♪ We've fallen... ♪ Lucifer!

There it is. Oh.

[sniffs] Maze.

Just in time. You can take my place on the sex swing for the second half.

Unless you'd rather turn that frown upside down on the rack?

I'm sure Nigel won't mind.

MAZE: Seriously? You haven't had a decent orgy in years. I leave town for two seconds and you... 50 shades of betray me.

Well, actually, you've been gone for months, but no need to descend into orgy FOMO. This, what you see here? This is just the, uh, school night shenanigans. Why don't you come back on Saturday, when things get really freaky? Bye, Anna. Bye, Fred.

[whip cracks]

Everyone hydrates! Hostess rules. Nobody passes out unless they want to.

Hmm.

Who's the new girl?

Wow... uhp.

MAZE: I'm not new. And you couldn't handle this.

Mm. You'd be surprised.

[laughs] Come, now, Maze. There's no need to get pokey.

Maze? As in, Mazikeen of the Lilim? [laughs] Oh! Oh, wow, I am so grateful to you. I mean, this world is full of dumbass rules. You know, "No dr*gs for breakfast," or "put on some clothes," but you, for years, you have been the keeper of Lucifer's devilish flame. He just forgot to mention you were so damn hot.

MAZE: I like her.
[LUCIFER] Oh, I'm so glad.

Because I'm going to have to exit orgy left, I'm afraid.

What? I know, sugarplum, but mandatory meeting at work. Can't be helped.

[laughs]

♪ I got a hot Kn*fe ♪

♪ And a tight collar... ♪ So I'm standing there, buck naked, and then when I take my blindfold off, I realize my naughty girlfriend has only snuck us into the aquarium after hours. [laughs]

Next thing I know, we're tangled in the touch pool like a pair of randy merpeople.

It was so Shape of Water.

Well, that just made my bucket list.

And Eve did this thing with a conch shell... it was very creative, actually. I'll draw you a diagram if you'd like... No.

CHLOE: We're good. We get it. I feel like I am right there with you.

Detective, when you said you were fine hearing about my romantic life with Eve...

CHLOE: Still am. Super fine. Fine with the aquarium story, fine with the vat of melted chocolate story, with the boning the entire cast of Cirque du Soleil story.

[laughs] True.

CHLOE: And I, personally, I can't get enough. Because it's awesome. But right now, I am trying to concentrate.

[JOAN] Lucifer, you brought doughnuts.

LUCIFER: Oh, Rookie Joan. I thought a few sweet treats might help these pesky morning meetings go a little easier.

Mondays, am I right? [chuckles]

It's Wednesday.

Is it? Uh-huh. So I've completely missed the tutorial on the new computer system?

CHLOE: Mm. It's probably for the best.

Oh. Well... oh, gosh, no. I'm so sorry. [laughs] I seem to have picked up the Candy Dandy Rave Doughnuts instead of the regular glazed ones. One bite of these, and you'll be riding the rainbow unicorn for days. Oh, actually, come to think of it, I think I've just realized what happened to Monday and Tuesday.

CHLOE: Lucifer, if you would really like to help, um, we can get into these case files.

[phone vibrates] Why don't we do that?

Uh, uh... Oh. I would love to, Detective, but I'm gonna have to rain check. Promised Eve I'd be home in time for the naughty raffle.

♪♪

Honey, I'm home! Who replaced my Kn*fe caddy with this tiny... t*rture device?

[AMENADIEL] Hello, Mazikeen.

I've been helping Linda out with a lot of things while you've been hunting bounties for months.

I wasn't hunting bounties, Amenadiel.

Never mind.

What else changed while I was gone?

Hi.

Linda! You're fat.

[chuckles] Well, good luck with all of this.

Linda, I'll see you tonight at Lamaze.

Okay.

What? La-La-what, now? Lamaze.

It's a baby class for "Mom and Partner."

Oh.

Not "Mom, Partner, and Demon," so please don't get any ideas.

Well... maybe you can come to the next one.

Whatever.

You know what I've been hunting all these months?

This. For the baby. Hope you like it.

[door opens]

[door closes]

CHLOE: I'm sure Lucifer will be here soon.

DANIEL: Lucky us. Maybe this time, he'll show up with a kilo of coke, or another Mexican wrestler.

CHLOE: That was a scheduling issue.

DANIEL: More like a life issue. As in, you cannot live the life that he lives and still work with the LAPD.

CHLOE: Oh, Dan, he'll figure it out. I know things have been off-kilter with Lucifer lately, but when it comes to the job, he's got it covered.

DANIEL: I'm sure. [siren wailing]

CHLOE: Ella, what do we have?

John Doe. d*ed on impact after being pushed out of that window up there.

One day, he's just living his life.

The next... bam! Smashed, like a bug on a windshield.

[LUCIFER] Sorry I'm late. Got a little tied up at home.

But don't worry, it'll be all business from here on out. Great. All right, what have we got?

[ELLA] Oh. And a party in the back.

CHLOE: Lucifer, we are at a crime scene.

Oh. Oh, dear.

I've worn my orgy pants to work, haven't I? [laughs]

♪♪

Okay.

Crisis averted, Detective.

Seriously? [chuckles]

Anyhow, Ms. Basich here was telling us about our victim, Gary Van Blunt. Oh.

Best auditor I ever had.

[phone chiming] Hard worker, detail-oriented.

Bit of a bore in the personality department, if you know what I mean. [CHLOE] Mm-hmm.

And you said that Gary's laptop was missing.

Do you know if there was any sensitive information on it or any reason someone would want to steal it or keep it from getting out?

What Gary had on that laptop could have shut down dozens of businesses. [chiming continues]

Did you ever receive any threats here at the office?

Gary did mention someone was actually following him, though.

Home, work, home. [clears throat]

Work, home. Work.

Yes, I understand. Are there security cameras here on the premises?

Or overnight guard, possibly, that could have seen anything?

[chiming continues]

Lucifer. Mm.

I think we may have a lead.

[Chloe clears throat]

CHLOE: LAPD.

Detective Decker. Hi.

Oh. Sorry.

Uh, I know it's sad or whatever, but Big Nose Brown Shoes in that pose is the most artistically stimulating thing I've seen out here, well, ever.

Big Nose Brown Shoes?

I don't know their names, so...

So, do you draw here regularly?

Every day on my lunch break.

You know, so my soul doesn't die up there in a cubicle.

Do you happen to have any more drawings of Mr. Van... or, um... [clears throat] Big Nose Brown Shoes?

Thank you.

So, this guy here, he's in a lot of your drawings.

Square Jaw Buzz Cut. What about him?

Do you know if he knew Big Nose Brown Shoes?

I don't think so. But I did wonder if he had a crush on Big Nose, though, 'cause he was always, like, watching him.

Your work is very good.

Do you ever do nudes?

Couples, perhaps? Okay, thank you.

I will need to hold on to this one, but... we're done here. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[sighs]

CHLOE: Okay, Lucifer, I need to talk to you. Your "extracurricular activities" are starting to hinder our job. There is a dead man right there, and you showing up to his m*rder scene in ass-less slacks... is not only disrespectful to the LAPD, it is disrespectful to him. So if you can't take what we do seriously, then maybe you shouldn't be here.

LUCIFER: Now, I understand, Detective, and I apologize. I haven't been at my best today. But I do take our work... our partnership... very seriously. In fact, I hereby promise that the personal shall interfere with the professional no more.

[phone ringing]

Sorry. Now, I...

Silent. [ringing stops]

From here on in, you won't even know that I have a personal life.

[phone vibrating]

[elevator bell dings]

[sighs] Does no one need a demon today?

I could use one. Lucifer and I were supposed to Bake-and-Drake tonight. You know. Get really baked and watch a Drake concert. But he had to go back to "work." You know, I'm really happy he has a job, I am, but... I just didn't think he would be there all the time.

Yeah. Used to drive me nuts, too. Until I got a life. Smashing heads, hunting bounties... you know, my own thing.

I don't want to do my own thing.

You know, I happen to have some free time on my hands today. Why don't we do our own thing together?

I'm sure Lucifer will be back any minute.

Or maybe he won't. You're Eve. You're the first, best party girl ever. Are you gonna sit at home waiting for your man? Or are you going to come and party... with me?

Well, I do like to party.

Yeah, you do!

Oh. [laughs]

Something on that pretty little face of yours.

♪ Got caught up in a bad situation ♪

♪ I'll admit I'm a sucker for seduction ♪

♪ 12 arrived at 12:00 on the dot ♪

♪ And I said, I only speak in friction! ♪

♪♪

[indistinct chatter]

REMIEL: Hello, Brother.

[laughs]

It's good to see you, Remiel.

[chuckles]

So, what brings you to Earth? Silver City run out of stags to hunt? You need a break from Castiel's singing? Or you just miss your big bro?

REMIEL: I wish I were here for such frivolous reasons. But we have a problem. For the first time in millennia, I've sensed a new celestial. A baby. Right here in Los Angeles. But you already knew that. Didn't you, Brother?

[elevator bell dings]

Oh, gosh...

[grunts]

Who's ready to Bake-and-Drake?

Lucifer. Doctor.

Yes, well, I'm afraid you've missed the, uh, festivities. But if you'd like to come back Saturday...

I came because you've canceled three therapy sessions. I want to make sure you're okay.

Oh, no, no, I'm fine. I'm more than fine, actually. Living my best life on all fronts. Balancing work and pleasure like a... like a finely calibrated machine.

You, um, you haven't seen a tiny, doe-eyed brunette, have you?

"You didn't show, so I went out with Maze. Hope you're not dead. Eve."

Well, I admit there are still a few... kinks to work out. But speaking of, if you'll excuse me.

It can't be easy, all these years upholding human law. Oh.

Eve will love this.

Exploring your caring, altruistic side with Chloe.

"For us to enjoy together."

And now being in a committed relationship with Eve, who expects you to be your... your old, hedonistic devil self at all times.

"Apologies... Detective."

Now, how many times can you program this thing to say "ever"?

[sighs]

Thank you.

LINDA: When you bifurcate your life this way... "good" and "bad," "crime solver" and... "orgy host"... you're effectively denying half of yourself all of the time. Lucifer, if you don't stop pulling yourself in opposite directions, you're going to come undone.

[laughs]

What? That is preposterous. I mean, I've finally got everything I ever wanted. I've got a girlfriend who accepts... nay, appreciates... that I'm the Devil, makes every waking moment a non-stop bacchanal.
And then there's work. And I don't need to tell you how important that is to me.

No, you don't.
LUCIFER: So you see why I'm no longer in need of therapy, Doctor. Perfection achieved.

Is that why you've spent the last few minutes ordering apology gifts for both Eve and Chloe?

[phone vibrates] I...

Oh.

Well, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to leave it there, Doctor. There appears to have been a break in the case. Thank goodness.

[tires screeching nearby]

Detective.

Hi.

[whispers] Lucifer, get in the car.

Uh...

Sorry I'm late. [sighs] Hi.

[door closes]

What have we got?

Ella ran facial recognition on the sketch of Gary's stalker and got a hit.

A guy named Vince Walker. Ex-Marine.

And we couldn't get a physical address.

But his name is registered to that car.

So we're on a stakeout.

Undercover.

[whispering] Understood, Detective.

You can count on me.

I will not take my eyes off that vehicle.

REMIEL: Come now, Brother. We both knew it was only a matter of time before this happened.

We did?

REMIEL: Well, of course, there was bound to be a child eventually because of all the meaningless sexual encounters.

I wouldn't say they were meaningless.

REMIEL: Please, our brother Lucifer is a... what do they call it here? A slut.

AMENADIEL: Lucifer? You're here because you think Lucifer has fathered a half-human child.

REMIEL: It must have been difficult for you, bearing the burden of Lucifer's secret alone in order to protect him. But I'm here now, Brother. Together, we can put an end to this madness.

Oh, whoa, whoa, Remi. What do you mean exactly by "put an end to it"?

REMIEL: As we both know, it's forbidden for humans and celestials to intermingle in an amorous manner. The child shouldn't exist.

The child is innocent.

REMIEL: Exactly. Which is why we must find the child, snatch it up and take it to Heaven for the rest of eternity.

Remi, put your wings away! Humans aren't supposed to see them.

REMIEL: Right. Forgot. Please slow time so these barely sentient creatures won't see us fly away.

Well, I can't slow time. Because that would be too easy. Look, this is our first brother/sister hunt in over a millennia. Why not make it a proper challenge?

[laughs]

REMIEL: You're right. To the challenge. Where might we find the kind of human woman that Lucifer would impregnate?

Actually, I know exactly where to start. But, um, perhaps we should begin with a change of clothes.

[sighs]

Lucifer, I'm sorry that I was hard on you before.

You know, we-we all have our personal lives and I go to parent-teacher conferences and you host sex parties.

So, to each their own.

Look, as long as you continue to wear actual pants to work...

[chuckles] then, if you're happy, I'm happy.

[snoring]

You know, I'm not happy.

Of course I want you to be happy.

But the way... that you're happy, it... it makes me uncomfortable.

It-it makes me feel sick, to be honest.

And, yes, sometimes it makes me jealous.

So...

I hate the way you're happy.

And... there it is.

[sighs]

[snorts]

[grunts] Fetch me the goat.

No. In the hat.

We need to make sure this is the guy.

[screams]

I think he's the guy.

Help! Help! Fire!

Call 911!

There you go. Big strong donkey kicks.

Now locate the trunk release.

LAPD, step away from the victim!

And... stop giving her notes?

Vincent Walker.

If you don't mind, we're kind of in the middle of something here. Is this part of the scenario?

'Cause we haven't done crossfire drills yet.

But I can give it a sh*t.

You can put the g*n away, Detective.

I run a K&R outfit. Kidnap and ransom?

[trunk closes]

We offer abduction survival courses for frequent travelers like Joyce here.

[JOYCE] They really are the best in the business.

My employer pays for everybody in the Bogota office to get kidnapped at least once.

[mouths] This is my third time.

Quite the little thrill-seeker, aren't you?

Yeah? Okay, who paid you to kidnap Gary Van Blunt?

As usual, you cops have it all wrong.

Our parent company paid Mr. Van Blunt to audit us.

Thought it was a formality, typical government red tape.

Then he accused me of paying off Bolivian border guards.

And were you? Of course he was.

Damn right I was. To keep my clients safe.

Everyone in my line of work does it.

I told Gary his goody-two-shoes routine could cost real people their lives, but he wouldn't listen.

So you m*rder*d him. What?

No. I tailed him a little.

Hoped to scare him into shutting up.

From home to work and not much else.

The poor sap was the human equivalent of watching paint dry. Until he wasn't.

Couple days ago, he breaks routine, takes off into Malibu Canyon.

I lost him when the cops pulled me over for speeding.

And I suppose you have an alibi for last night at 12:30?

As it happens, I was on a three-day mission to Cape Town.

Flew into LAX a couple hours ago.

We good?

Mm-hmm. We're good.

Well, that was a bust. Mm.

But now we know how Gary spent the last day of his life... in 5,800 acres of Malibu Canyon.

All right, I'm gonna go back to the precinct.

I'm gonna work up a list of what homes and businesses to canvass first.

[stammers] Why don't you go home and get some sleep? No, nonsense, Detective. I've already had my cat nap. I insist you go home and get some rest and I'll burn the midnight oil at the station.

You're offering to do hours of tedious research?

N-No. I want to do whatever it takes to secure justice for poor, boring Gary.

Detective, recent missteps aside, you should know: when I'm on the job, the job has my complete devotion.

Thank you, Lucifer.

That means a lot.

So, I'll... see you tomorrow.

Bright and early.

♪♪

[elevator bell dings]

[both laughing]

[sniffs, chuckles]

Oh, girl. Don't even start.

[EVE] It's just that when he leaves me hanging like this... it reminds me of Adam.

You know I was his second wife, right?

Literally created for the guy and our entire marriage, he was just pining over wife number uno.

"Lilith tamed the beasts of the night."

Stupid, perfect Lilith.

She wasn't perfect.

Oh, my God.

My God, I'm...

I'm so sorry, I...

I completely forgot that she was your mother.

Yeah, so did she.

[elevator bell dings]

Got a package for "Eve" from "Lucifer"?

[Eve shrieks]

Oh, my God!

What is it?

[gasps] Oh, my...

I don't get it.

You... Oh, this guy.

Okay, I know.

[whirring]

Oh, look. There's a card.

You really need a card to know who that's from?

Right.

[DAN] Lucifer! [grunts, gasps]

"For us to enjoy together"?

I mean, this must be for someone else.

[laughs] No, for us to enjoy together at the precinct.

Why, this young lady would make a great decoy, or keep Daniel company on long stakeouts...

You know what? Enough. [ELLA] You guys.

The suit doesn't fit, literally or figuratively.

The clothes Gary Van Blunt d*ed in were, like, two sizes too big, and, like, eight tax brackets more expensive than anything else in his closet.

The clothes weren't his.

Wait, so the-the k*ller forced Gary to change clothes before they pushed him out the window? But why?

Uh, no, I don't think they made him change clothes.

I think they made him put clothes on.

I found something on the map last night.

If you combine it with Ms. Lopez's findings...

[chuckles]

I think I know where Gary was when the k*ller snatched him.

Oh, my gosh, can I please come?

[CHLOE] This is perfect.

Just perfect.

[laughs] So cool.

Sorry, but rules are rules.

You want to go inside, you got to get naked.

Either that or get a warrant.

Fine. I'll get a warrant.

Lucifer.

Oh, when in Rome, Detective.

Please put some clothes on.

We are professionals.

Ella, see if you can get a warrant from Judge...

Vickers.

Bucket list?

[LUCIFER] Don't worry, Detective.

Miss Lopez and I are on the case.

♪ Ooh... ♪

[LUCIFER] You don't happen to recognize this unfortunate looking chap?

Hmm, don't recognize him.

You have any pictures of him without his clothes on?

[laughs] [WOMAN] Course I know Gary.

He's the sweetest thing.

He's almost as sweet as my mango coladas.

You want one? Or two?

I just can't believe Gary's gone.

He's only been coming for a couple of months, but he really found his happy place here.

And how could you tell he was happy?

Oh, don't worry, we know.

And he was so active in the community.

Chess club, book club.

Oh, he even offered to help us all with our taxes.

Hold on. You're saying that Gary was an avid nudist and a devoted accountant?

Oh, naturalists come in all forms.

In our community, we have teachers, judges, scientists.

W-What about enemies? Did Gary have anyone he butted heads with in the community?

Oh, Gary didn't have a contrary bone in his naked bod.

I can't imagine him saying a harsh word to anybody.

[HERB] Except maybe to Julian. Remember?

We saw them arguing in the meditation yurt?

I couldn't understand exactly what they were saying... I didn't have my hearing aids in... but it looked heated.

And Julian is...?

Julian McCaffrey.

Son of the late Willow McCaffrey, the founder of Willow's Glen?

[HERB] Julian inherited this place after his mother d*ed, but he's nothing like her.

He's, he's brought in dr*gs, and prostitutes.

[ANITA] Well, we're not sure they're prostitutes.

[HERB] Oh come on, Ani, you know as well as I do.

That millennial pervert has turned our little slice of heaven into a devil's playground.

Well, I'll be the judge of that.

Welcome to the VIP lounge.

Speaking of which, you two are not at all what I pictured when I heard the cops were here. Kudos.

[BOTH] We're not cops.

I-I'm actually a forensic scientist.

And I'm the Devil.

[laughs]

Oh, hey, I wanted to say how sorry I was when I-I heard about Gary.

He's gonna be missed by the entire community.

Cut the crap. We know you two argued in the meditation yurt the day he d*ed.

Well, it's not what you think.

I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Gary... he was coming on pretty strong to some of our more attractive female members.

Making them uncomfortable, so I had to give him some firm advice.

Probably did him a favor, honestly.

How altruistic of you.

My point is that the last time I saw Gary, he was alive and well, and still trying to bat out of his league.

So if I can't help you with anything else, I'm starting to prune.

Yeah. You are.

What are you, a size 34 pant, 13 shoe?

Good guess. Why?

You're under arrest. Oh, and the precinct has a strong no-nudity policy, so you'll have to put on some clothes.

And you, too.

[dance music playing]

REMIEL: How can human women wear these t*rture devices? What are they called?

Jeans.

[sighs]

♪ But where to go? ♪

REMIEL: How could Lucifer ever procreate with these jeans-laden humans? They're selfish, and greedy. And they smell wrong.

AMENADIEL: Well, Remi, perhaps Lucifer discovered that not all humans are selfish, greedy and... smelly. Perhaps he even met one that was rather special. One that helped him learn things about himself and the universe that he never would've learned without her.

♪ I don't care now ♪

[chuckles]

♪ Let them fall forever... ♪ Yeah, I'm just guessing, about Lucifer.

[phone vibrating] Yeah.

Advertisements.

Greedy humans.

[chuckles]

[woman groaning over TV]

[woman over TV] Good job. You're doing a great job.

[MAN] Okay, honey. [WOMAN] One more big push.

[MAN] Remember your breathing.

[groaning continues]

[MAN] Okay, good. You're doing great, honey.

[WOMAN] There you go. There you go.

[pained shouting]

[SHAY] And that is what the birth process looks like up close. Any questions?

Yeah.

Can we see the part about the torn perineum again, please?

Um, given the time restraints, perhaps it's best we move on to infant care.

Let's feed our babies. Now, whether your choice is breast or bottle, what's most important is the intimate bonding time you're spending with your little angel. In your arms, your baby will feel safe and satiated, and, most of all, loved. Your babies will only be babies for a short time, but the bonds they form with you now are the foundation for healthy and nurturing relationships.

That was beautiful, wasn't it? I'm so glad you're here, Maze.

Maze?

So it's a coincidence that the shoes and clothes Gary Van Blunt d*ed in match your sizes and favorite label exactly?

Not to mention, you were seen arguing with him on the day he was m*rder*d.

Things aren't looking good for you, Julian.

Yeah, I'm not too worried.

Oh. Why is that?

Three, two...

Judge's order to release our client on his own recognizance.

What happened to the $2 million bail?

Already paid in full. Well. This was fun, but I've got a naked limbo contest to judge at 4:00, so...

Hey. How did he get away with this?

Yeah, "McCaffrey"? That's his mom's maiden name.

Guess who his dad is. I don't know.

Jacob Tiernan. Uh, as in, Tiernan Shipping?

That's right. Guy practically owns every port in the Pacific.

Well, that explains the confidence.

One whiff of trouble, and Daddy bails him out.

Yeah, money like that behind him, the guy's practically untouchable.

No one's untouchable.

[elevator bell dings] Eve? Eve?

[EVE] Hey.

I, um, I got you something, too, for us to enjoy...

[chuckles] together?

[sighs] Look, I know you're angry.

I'm not angry. I mean, I was. But then I had a lot of time to think, and I realized I used to be just like you. With Adam. I wanted Adam to love me so badly that I devoted myself to becoming something I wasn't in order to please him. I wanted to be Adam's "ideal woman." But then I realized something. I was never going to be Adam's ideal woman, because spoiler alert: I'm not Lilith. I'm me.
Yeah, I spent so much time trying to be whatever Adam wanted me to be that I never once stopped to think what I wanted. Who I had been all along. Guess who helped me figure that out?

If it's not me, this is a terrible story.

It was you. Lucifer, I was created from someone else's rib. Okay? I am literally a subset of another person.
But you helped me realize that I can become my own person. You set me free. I just want to do the same for you. I see you pretending to be something that you're not, you don't have to.
You're already perfect.

You think I'm pretending to be something I'm not?

Don't you?

Wha...? I have to go.

It's a break in the case.

I'm sorry.

What's the son of a power broker like Jacob Tiernan doing running his mother's hippie nudist retreat?

Well, according to Jacob's super unauthorized bio, Julian is the black sheep of the Tiernan family.
Out-of-control partying, multiple run-ins with the law.

I mean, this says Jacob cut him off years ago, except for the fact that he keeps sending lawyers to clean up Julian's messes.

What does any of this have to do with Gary?

I mean, he wasn't auditing the nudist retreat or any of the Tiernan businesses, right?

So then what motive could Julian possibly have to m*rder him? Step aside, Daniel, because I have just blown this case wide open.

Just found this note in this pocket and this is the suit that I wore... or, more accurately, didn't wear... at the nudist colony.

Someone must've put it in there before I got my clothes back.

Miss Lopez, do you remember a woman named Marigold?

[DAN] Seriously?

For all we know, someone could've put it in there at one of your latest sex parties.

Have you ever been to a sex party, Daniel? We don't pass notes to each other.

[overlapping arguing] Guys, guys. "Marigold" wasn't a woman. It's one of Tiernan's ships.

And the Marigold docks in San Pedro tonight.

That can't be a coincidence.

[ship horn blows]

You awake? [scoffs]

Very funny, Detective.

You know, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you. You did good, Lucifer.

Do you think I'm different when I'm at work to when I'm not at work?

Mm... I think we're all a little different at work. You know, trying to put our best foot forward and...

But do you think the person that I'm trying to be at work is...

[sighs] I don't know, dishonest?

Do you like work?

I do. I like work very much. Work makes me want to be a-a better man, but if I've never been that man before, then... is it even real?

Well, I mean, I think people are growing and changing all the time. I mean, look at me. 15 years ago, I was naked in a hot tub.

Hmm. Still one of my favorite films. [laughs]

Well, point is, I never would've pictured myself as a detective or a mom or a person with so many sensible brown shoes. [chuckles] So many.

Yeah.

It just... it just feels right. So, I think, uh, if what you're doing and who you are at work feels right, then I think you know it's real.

[indistinct chatter]

Here we go.

[indistinct chatter]

Let's go.

Oh...

Aw... scared?

[JULIAN] Come on, move!

So Julian was using Daddy's shipping company as, what, sl*ve transport?

Detective Decker requesting backup in what looks like a human trafficking situation.

[DISPATCHER] 10-4.

Gary must've found out somehow.

And Julian k*lled him before Gary could expose the operation.

We can't let him get away.

We won't.

LAPD, hands in the air!

[women screaming]

[sirens wailing] [shouts]

[MAN] I got cops over there!

Come on, take off!

[OFFICER] LAPD. Drop your weapons.

[CHLOE] On the ground now!

[OFFICER] Hands where we can see 'em!

Lucifer, Julian's getting away.

[belt sander whirring]

[shouts] Julian.

You're a slippery one, aren't you? Then again, most cockroaches are.

No! No!

Hey, guys, listen up. I need you all to fan out, find McCaffrey. Now!

Medics, we got victims over there by the van. Go!

Ah, you're not so cocky now without Daddy's lawyers around you, are you? Tell me, does he know what you've been up to?

You think my dad's any better than me? [grunts] He's a wolf in sheep's clothing, hiding behind a fancy suit and a fake smile.

[grunts]

At least I admit I'm a wolf! I mean, what kind of man pretends to be something he isn't?

[Julian groaning]

It's your lucky day. I've decided to leave your punishment to the police.

Freeze! LAPD. Don't move.

[g*nsh*t]

No, no, no, no! No!

♪ Bless the crimson sky ♪

♪ Laid out before the night ♪

♪ Bless these dirty sails ♪

♪ And may they aid your flight ♪

♪ Far away from all ♪

♪ That does torment your soul ♪

♪ Far away from all ♪

♪ That made your skin grow cold... ♪

I can't believe you let him go.

For once, I agree with you.

You think you're helping, Lucifer, but you're not. You're a wrecking ball, and everything you touch turns to sh*t. First Charlotte, now Joan. When are you gonna learn? Hmm? You're not one of the good guys.

There's a house on that property?

Got it. Thanks, Maze.

[elevator bell dings]

[EVE] You okay?

What happened?

You may have been right about me. I tried to be something I wasn't, and a very bad man got away. k*lled again. It's all my fault.

Sounds like it was the man's fault to me. Who is this guy, anyway?

m*rder*r, human trafficker, destroyer of lives, on the loose.

Well, we can't let him get away with that. He should be punished.

By me, you mean?

[scoffs]

Honestly, I'm not sure I have it in me anymore.

That's not true.

You will always have it in you.

You're the Devil.

Yes.

Yes, I am.

[dance music playing]

[sniffs]

It's not her.

I think you're stalling, aren't you? Oh, don't tell me Lucifer's misplaced love of humans has rubbed off on you.

Of course not.

Yes. The never-ending talk of "free will" while you were in the Silver City? Brother, you're the one who taught me that humans are inconsequential.

Well, I was wrong, Remi. They are living, breathing beings created by our Father.

And I promise you, I won't hurt the child, even if it is half-human.

And what about the mother?

I know we're not allowed to k*ll humans, so I'll be very careful where I cut.

You're not cutting anywhere.

You know this human, don't you, Brother? Are you protecting her?

Yes, I am. I'm protecting her and I'm protecting my child.

Yours?

[quietly] Oh, for the baby...

[sighs]

[MAZE] It's a baby blanket.

My mother, Lilith... Let's just say she wasn't the mom of the year. I was trying to think of something to give your baby, something I would've wanted when I was small.

Took me a while to figure out what that was, but...

I guess this is it.

Look.

I know I'm not "Mom" or "Partner" or whatever, but I... No.

No, you're not.

Come here.

You're Auntie Maze, and you will always be a member of this family.

[cries]

[lighter clinks]

[exhales] What is it with you?

Gonna make me k*ll somebody else?

Well, how many is it, then?

I mean, I know about Gary and Joan, but what about the women you've been trafficking?
How many of their lives have you taken? How many have you destroyed in service of your greed?

Those girls came from nothing.
Starving in their villages. Sold by their relatives, or-or stupid enough to believe that people are just handing out fresh new lives here in America. They were broken dolls before they ever got on those ships. Wh... Wh-What are you?

[growls softly]

I've been wondering how to punish you, Julian, and now I know.

What?

- ♪ In the dark of the day... ♪ [grunting]

♪ Broken silence... ♪

[Julian groaning]

You asked what I am.

♪ Floating... ♪ I'm the Devil.

Yes.

This feels just right.

♪ Bring on the flood ♪