04x08 - Super Bad Boyfriend

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Lucifer, what's going on?

You've been avoiding me, Dr. Ahn, so I had to force a meeting. Yeah.

Sorry about that.

Work has been so crazy... Don't care.

I granted you a favor, now you owe me one.

It's time to pay up.

I need a medical consultation.

If I was to tell you I had a "mole" or two on my back, perhaps you could reshape them?

Maybe zhoosh them up a bit?

I'd have to see them first. [laughs]

Not possible, I'm afraid, but...

I have visual aids.

Wait, you have moles that large on your back?

You need to get them checked out, have them removed.

Well, I tried removing them in the past, but the stubborn buggers always seem to grow back.

I just need you to dress them up a smidge.

Maybe you could, uh, attach some white feathers, or-or-or tattoo them? Something cheery.

Flowers maybe? Tattoo your moles?

You know, I was thinking maybe I could get you, like, a discount on some Botox, but...

But I don't need Botox, Doctor.

What I need is for you to fix them because they are disgusting!

Please don't hurt me.

[AMENADIEL] Lucifer, what's going on?

I really need to put a lock on that elevator.

Useless, Doctor. Get out of my sight.

Luci, what were you doing to him? Nothing.

Oh. What happened there, Brother?

Hit another bridge whilst flying?

That happened one time, Luci.

And no.

I got into a fight with Remi.

Remi was here? Oh. How is your little clone?

Angry.

She wanted to take Linda's baby, my child, back to the Silver City with her.

The argument escalated. Of course, I was victorious, and now the child will be raised here on Earth, which is actually why I'm here.

I have a favor to ask you.

Oh...

Apparently, there is a tradition here on Earth to ask someone to be a backup parent in case something happens to the child's real parents.

Hold on.

Are you seriously asking me, evil incarnate, to be the child's godfather?

[laughing] Oh, the irony.

Well, Luci, this birth is imminent, and I still don't know how to be a father. How am I supposed to prepare?

Well, I would've thought it patently obvious by now, I'm the last person to come to for fatherly advice, but if you really want to know how humans raise their children, maybe you should, I don't know, ask them?

That's actually not bad advice.

And as for being the child's godfather, trust me, Brother, the biggest favor I can do you and the child is to stay as far away as possible.

["Ain't The Best" by American Gonzos playing]

Hey, Ella.

Oh, hey, Dan.

So what's up? Nothing. Crime scene stuff.

Yeah. Cool.

So about the other... Yeah, I wanted to, uh...

Me, too... It was...

Totally... But, you know...

Working together... Crossing lines...

Bodies crossing... Yeah.

Maybe we shouldn't.

No, we shouldn't.

Cool. Cool.

I'm so glad we could talk about this like adults.

Yeah.

Okay. Cool. Oh.

Sorry, I'll just... Yeah, um...

Okay.

[FATHER KINLEY] When the Devil walks the Earth and finds his first love, evil shall be released.

Everything all right, Detective? [school bell rings]

Did I do something wrong, per usual?

Perhaps I should check myself into detention whilst I'm here, permanently.

No. Everything's fine.

Hey, guys.

Oh, uh, hey, Lucifer. Hey, Dan's ex-wife. Ex-wife. I mean, I mean, Chloe.

Hey, so what do we have? [BOTH] Uh...

[ELLA:] This is Sandra Baez.

[DAN] The victim is, um... yeah.

She's, uh, 32, 32 years old. She was 32 years old.

Yup, and, um, she's a, she's a teacher. And a history teacher.

Whatever's happening here is undoubtedly somehow my fault.

Uh...

[mumbles] I'm sorry.

Nothing. We're-we're all good.

Totally. All... good. Totally cool.

In fact... Yeah.

Uh, the, uh, the janitor, he's the... Yeah.

...the guy who found the body. Mm-hmm.

Uh, claims that Ms. Baez, every morning, jogs the track, she showers, and then she heads to class.

[ELLA] And apparently someone ambushed her as she was getting dressed.

And, uh, do we have a cause of death?

Uh, cause of death is, uh... Uh, no......blunt force trauma to the head.

[DAN] Turns out that Ms. Baez was a faculty adviser...

Yeah. She was. ...to YAAE.

[ELLA] Uh, YAAE is, uh, Youth Academy of American Entrepreneurs.

Uh, the club met last night, so probably the last people to see her alive.

[LUCIFER] Right. Thank you.

[whispering] Lucifer, um, can I talk to you?

Right now.

Okay, well, I-I need to tell you something.

I'm all ears, or horns rather.

I went to see Father Kinley.

Oh, did you now? [laughs] Conjuring up more ways to send me back to Hell, are we?

No. No. Father Kinley had been asking to see me, so I-I finally went, and he told me about... a prophecy.

[laughs]

Right. What is it this time? Are frogs about to start falling from the sky? Or perhaps winter is coming?

All of this celestial stuff, it is new to me. I don't know what is good and bad, what is real and fake, but what he said... it scared me.

Well, come on then, Detective. What did he say?

He said, "When the Devil walks the Earth "and finds his first love, evil shall be released."

Well, this is wonderful news.

It sounds kind of bad. Oh, it's bad, it's bad, but... explains why I'm changing.

[stammers] Listen, if this prophecy were to actually come true, w-what then?

W-Would there be demons running around?

Uh, nothing of the sort.

But let's not get bogged down in specifics

'cause none of that'll matter if I can stop the prophecy altogether.

How? Well, clearly, the first part, "When the Devil walks the Earth" has already happened 'cause, hello, here is me walking the Earth.

Yeah. And since Eve was my first girlfriend, then she's... Your first love.

Exactly.

So to stop "evil from being released," all I need to do is... drumroll, please...

...break up with Eve!

So there you have it.

I mean, usually these prophecies turn out to be gobbledygook, but this one seems legit, so...

Wow. [sighs]

I had a feeling...

Or maybe I just knew all along.

Knew what? That you love me! [laughs]

[laughs] Right, and how exactly did you end up there?

The prophecy, silly.

I mean, if you believe it to be true...

Mm. ...then "When the Devil walks the Earth and meets his first love," means you consider me to be your first love.

Ergo, you love me.

Mm... Mm...

Oh, my God, I-I can't believe that you said it first. I've been dying to say it for so long.

Have you? Interesting you should focus on that part of the prophecy, when "evil being released" really is the, um, the relevant part. [laughs] [laughs] And as much as I hate to say this, I-I think it means that we need to, you know... break up.

No.

No? Mm-mm.

Lucifer, I know what you're doing.

Do you?

Yes, you're scared 'cause you've been hurt before. You don't have to worry, okay? I promise you that I will never, ever, ever give up on you.

You know why?

Surprise me.

Because I love you, too.

[chuckles]

Boop! [giggles]

[squeals]

Oh, sh*t.

♪♪

[CHLOE] Thank you for speaking with us, Ms. Shaw. Please, call me Lexy.

Anything to help find the person who did this.

We're speaking to everybody in the YAAE club because you all were the last to see Ms. Baez last night.

So did you notice anything out of the ordinary with her?

No. She was her normal, cheery self.

Ms. Baez was awesome. She did so much for me.

She was also the SAT prep administrator, so helped me get into my first choice.

It was Harvard.

She's also just so good at giving advice on anything... school, parents, relationships.

Relationships. Uh, uh, what advice would Ms. Baez give to, say, a student in a relationship who...

I don't know... needed to break up with someone?

Uh, well-well, I wouldn't know.

My boyfriend and I are super solid.

We'll probably get married after we both finish college, at Harvard.

Right.

Uh, do you know of anyone who may want to hurt Ms. Baez?

Not really. Well, unless...

Have you spoken to Caleb Mayfield? No.

Why?

Ms. Baez was particularly talented at giving advice to the more...

[whispers] troubled students.

Ah.

Nah, I didn't really know Ms. Baez that well.

To be honest, I was thinking about quitting YAAE altogether.

What, so you were going to break up with the entire club?

How does one, specifically, say "nay" to YAAE?

Could we just stay focused, Lucifer?

Lucifer? As in the club owner who grants favors?

You've heard of the favors?

Some people I hang around with, they may have mentioned it.

Well, "granting favors" is much lower on my résumé these days than, say, releasing death and destruction upon the world.

So you didn't spend much time with Ms. Baez?

Not really. Did you guys talk to Nate Benedict? He was fighting with her.

Mm.

We had, uh, you know, words.

What were you fighting about? Oh, well, I was pissed 'cause she was sleeping with my dad.

Ms. Baez was having an affair with your father?

Oh, well, my parents are separated, and they totally could've fixed things, but Ms. Baez was standing in the way, so hells yeah, I was angry.

I see. But-but not enough to, like, k*ll her.

And, um, where were you yesterday morning?

My girlfriend Lexy's place.

My dad said he had some things he needed to take care of, he needed me out of the house all night.

Right, well, we'll have to speak with your dad to confirm your story and his. Thank you.

Oh, um, your parents' marriage failed?

What exactly was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship?

Uh, weirdly enough, things got really bad after they went to couples therapy.

Therapy. [laughs]

Of course.

["sh**t" by Tosch playing]

Excuse me, do you have any children?

Why? Did Ramona send you?

Hey, man, I'm all paid up on my child support.

Excuse me, do you have a good relationship with your father?

[chuckles] I love all my daddies.

Right.

Excuse me, do you have a good relationship with your father?

I'm dancing half-naked in a nightclub for money. What do you think?

Hey.

Do you know where I could find Lucifer Morningstar?

No, he's not here right now.

Damn. What do you need from Lucifer?

Just a favor. Thanks.

Oh, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Maybe I can help. I'm Amenadiel, Lucifer's brother.

For real?

As God is my witness.

I'm-I'm Caleb.

All right. Well, so what's the problem, Caleb?

This.

Xanax and Adderall.

Where'd you get all these dr*gs from?

A dealer. His name's Tahir.

He wants me to sell it at school. I did it once, I-I'm just not trying to do it no more.

The problem is, he said if I don't, he'll mess me up bad.

And I was hoping maybe Lucifer could buy them off me, just take them off my hands. Could you?

Listen, even if I did, that wouldn't solve your problem.

Sounds like this Tahir would just, you know, make you sell more.

What am I supposed to do?

I just want out.

Hey, Ella. You wanted to see me?

Uh, yeah. Sandra Baez's autopsy report just came in.

Oh, great. I'll go get Dan and we can go over it together.

ELLA: No! Don't. I'll just tell you what it says and then you can tell Dan, because, you know, you probably see him all the time, like when you're handing off Trixie, the child you made together when you were married together.

Okay.

So what does it say?

Contusions. Two of them on the victim's skull. Unusually shaped. So it appears that the m*rder w*apon is a golf club.

A driver to be exact.

Got it. I'll tell Dan that we need a search warrant for the golf lockers. Good.

[phone ringing]

Forensics.

Yeah, I worked the Tiernan case.

I'm sorry, where did you say you were calling from?

♪♪

♪ Welcome to the wild jungle... ♪ So how do you like being a prison guard?

Boring. Unless you get to mix it up, you know, fight with an inmate.

How's bounty hunting?

Look, I'm gonna get right to the point.

Usually, I go straight for the sex, but my friend thinks I'm too invested in her baby, thinks I need to find a connection of my own, so I'm looking for someone I can do that with.

Whatever. I'm in.

You're too clingy. This is never gonna work.

♪♪

I recently learned, Doctor, that counseling is a good way to help relationships grow, evolve and then reach their final destination.

[LINDA] Yes, it-it can be, in the right circumstance.

[EVE] Linda, I am so happy to finally meet you.

Uh, and-and being here in this room?

Whew!

It's kind of like being inside Lucifer's mind.

[both laugh] That's a scary thought.

[shrieks] Yes, yes.

Well, I'm very happy to meet you, too...

[chuckles] Eve.

I mean, wow.

You're the first woman ever.

It's like meeting a dinosaur.

[laughs, gasps] Uh, not that you look old.

I mean, it's like you're my-my, my-my great, great, great, great, great... [stammers] whatever.

Yeah, never mind. [laughs]

[laughs]

What can I do for you guys?

I think if you looked up "perfect relationship" in the dictionary, you might just see a photo of myself and Eve.

[laughs] Aw.

But complacency is the enemy of excellence, so I thought it wise to get your expert perspective on our wonderful kinship.

I'm guessing this isn't gonna end well.

[both laugh]

Please, tell me about this wonderful relationship of yours.

Well. I'd say that we are impulsive.

I mean, we often text whilst driving.

We moved in together after one day.

Uh, also we consume an unfathomable amount of dr*gs and alcohol and regularly invite strangers into our bedroom. It's true.

And did I mention that Eve has just come out of a long-term relationship?

So, what say you, Doctor?

Mm-hmm. Yes, well, while you claim to be happy, I'm sensing a hidden trepidation by the words that you're using to describe your relationship.

In fact, I'm concerned that you're returning to a familiar pattern of...

Denial.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

[EVE] And don't you just hate it when he takes the exact wrong message from every single conversation?

Oh, my God! Every single time!

[laughs] Right. Why don't we get back on track?

How have we not met? [EVE] I don't know.

You are... Right, there's a prophecy.

Uh... [EVE] Now he's just deflecting.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I mean...

You know, Lucifer has a tendency to project his issues onto external sources, when what he really needs to do is face his issues head-on... Head-on.

Finally!

[laughter]

[siren wailing, dogs barking]

You sure you know what you're doing?

Caleb, I'm the Silver City's greatest warrior.

There's no need to worry.

[laughs] Tell me something, how did you get involved in this business in the first place?

I met Tahir and his boys at a club.

He seemed cool, so I started hanging with them.

And one day Tahir offered me a way to make some extra cash.

Why didn't you just say no?

Tahir's not really the kind of guy you say no to.

Well, I'm pretty sure I can reason with this Tahir and convince him to let you off the hook.

And then maybe after, uh, oh, we can go get some ice cream together.

[TAHIR] Ha. My man, Caleb.

What's good, man?

Oh, you need bodyguards now?

[laughs] What's wrong, the white kids at school loving them beans a little bit too much?

Well, actually, Caleb won't be selling them beans anymore.

You see, he no longer wishes to be a part of your, uh, illegal drug operation.

[sighs]

[bones cr*ck] [shouts]

[exhales] Excuse me.

Caleb is out.

His obligation is done.

This dude right here mean business.

But see, it don't work like that.

You see, I got expenses.

And he needs to pay me out, one way or another. All right, fine.

I'll be the one to come back and pay for those dr*gs.

Mm-mm. Hold on, man.

You see, the honor code's broken right now.

So you gonna have to leave me some kind of collateral.

What about the kid? Well, that's never gonna happen, Tahir.

What about that bling around your neck?

This bling is a gift from my father, Tahir. It's priceless.

That's good.

That mean you will be highly motivated to come back with my money.

I will be coming back for that.

Know this, Caleb.

If anything blow back on me, I'll blow back on y'all.

You feel me?

[chuckles]

[JEFFREY] I can't believe she's gone.

Ms. Baez was a great mentor to Nate.

[CHLOE] Nate said that you asked him to be out of the house last night.

What was it you needed to take care of?

Work stuff. "Work stuff"?

Like murdering a beloved teacher? You think I k*lled her?

That's insane. Eh, is it?

You were sleeping with her. Yes, we were having an affair, but that's over. Broke off last week.

You didn't have to k*ll her to break up with her, did you?

Of course not.

Oh. It was mutual.

In fact, I already kind of started seeing somebody else.

So you were having an affair on your affair?

Not exactly. I started seeing my ex, Emma.

We had gone to counseling. It was rough at first, but ultimately, it helped to bring us back together.

Well, now you tell me. Last night, I was with Emma.

We didn't want to tell Nate because we didn't want to mess with his head.

He had taken our breakup really hard.

But he's doing so great lately.

Seeing Lexy, great girl. Crushed his SATs... he got into Harvard.

We didn't want to rattle him until, you know, we knew it was permanent. [CHLOE] Well, I'm gonna need your ex-wife's information.

Eh... why did you and your wife break up in the first place?

I suppose I was the cliché bad husband.

Infidelity, selfishness, neglect.

In hindsight, I really gave Emma no other option but to break up with me.

[laughs softly]

Cliché bad husband. I see...

[elevator chimes]

[laughter, loud chatter]

[cheering, whooping]

Oh, you gonna get it. [EVE] Uh, babe?

I thought we had plans.

Nah, sorry.

Right, Ling, you're up next.

[shouts]

["Bad As You" by Blueberry Johnson playing]

♪ Hey, you ♪

♪ With the long dark hair ♪

♪ And the devilish look in your eyes ♪

♪ You're preaching to the choir when you're lying to a liar ♪

♪ Got your whole thing figured out ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, I know you think I'm just a girl ♪

♪ Mr. Brown said it right, didn't he? ♪

- ♪ It's a man's world... ♪ Move! Move, move, move, move!

Ah! Ah!

♪ You think you're bad ♪

♪ Well, baby, I'm just as bad you ♪

- ♪ You met your match ♪ [screams]

- ♪ 'Cause I'm as bad as you... ♪ Oh, my God! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!

♪ So watch your back 'cause I'm as bad as you ♪

♪ I'm just as wise, just as wicked as you ♪

♪ Leave you cold, leave you hanging ♪

♪ Leave you black and blue ♪

♪ Sit back, step back, 'cause I'm as bad as you ♪

Yes!

Yes! That's what I'm talking about.

[laughs]

[phone vibrating]

In your face!

[grunts] Yes.

Detective, how can I help?

[CHLOE over phone] We know who the k*ller is.

Meet me at the precinct.

Right.

Um, Eve. I have to go.

[panting] Hey. You sure you can't stay a little longer?

We have queso.

[chuckles] It's work.

[CALEB] Yo, did you see the look on their face when you busted up homeboy's hand? [laughs]

I told you I got skills, young buck.

My bad. I'll never doubt you again.

Well, see, I knew that you were smart, which does make me wonder, Caleb, why would you even want to be friends with those guys?

I mean, you must have lots of friends back at school.

Yeah, but I don't really fit in with the rich white crowd.

Tahir and his boys, they look like me.

They let me be me.

I mean, if I knew what they was into in the beginning, maybe I would've found a new crew to hang with.

It's just kind of hard finding your own kind, your own people, you know?

Now I got a question for you.

Why are you even helping me?

I, um... [laughs softly]

I have a son on the way.

Yeah.

And I've been worried if I'm gonna be a good father.

So what, I'm like a test run for you?

[laughs]

I was just playing, man.

I'm cool with it.

[siren wails]

You Caleb Mayfield?

I said are you Caleb Mayfield?

Yes, this is Caleb, Officer.

What seems to be the problem?

We got a warrant out for his arrest.

He's wanted for m*rder.

m*rder? No.

No, that can't be right. Get down on the ground, get your hands on your head.

Listen, punk. I said get down on the ground.

Get your hands on your head!

[AMENADIEL] Hey, hey, you're hurting him!

Sir, stop right there. Put your hands up. [Caleb grunting]

Put my hands... What?

[AMENADIEL] Why are you pointing your g*n at me, Officer?

I've done absolutely nothing wrong.

Put your hands on your head, now!

[Caleb grunting]

All right, look.

You guys are just making a big mistake here, all right?

Now, I have friends in the LAPD.

Just let me call them.

Amenadiel, please. Just do what they say. You're hurting him!

[OFFICER] Put your hands on your head! Get off of him!

I'm gonna tell you one last time, assh*le.

Put your hands up!

I'm not putting my hands above my head!

Don't make me sh**t you! I don't want to sh**t you!

Put your hands on your head! [DAN] Stand down! Stand down!

He's my friend! He's a friend.

You okay?

♪♪

[sighs] A, uh, golf club with Caleb's prints and the victim's blood was found in his locker.

Caleb was known to sell dr*gs.

So the working theory is that Ms. Baez found out, threatened to turn him in, so he k*lled her. No, Dan.

Caleb is not a k*ller. Okay.

But the kid looks guilty.

What exactly does "looks guilty" even mean, Dan?

Are you talking about the color of his skin?

He's guilty given all the... evidence against him, man.

Come on. How dare you...

[sighs]

Are you okay?

I know it's not... fun to have g*ns pointed at you.

Why wouldn't those officers listen to me?

I tried to talk to them, reason with them.

But they, they wouldn't listen.

It's like they'd already made up their minds.

Look, those two cowboy hotheads were way out of line.

And I'm filing an excessive force complaint against them as soon as all this is over.

And what changes will come as a result of your... complaint?

Probably nothing.

[ELLA] Hey, Dan.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Okay, uh...

I'm not really sure how to say this, but, uh... Hold on. Hold on a second.

I-I thought that we were on the same page about us.

This is about the Tiernan case.

Right. [stammers] I'm sorry. What, uh, what about it?

To close the case, due diligence interviews were done by the detective pool.

Someone told them that it might've been a cop who came to Jacob Tiernan and told him that it was Lucifer himself who broke his son's back.

It's an outrageous claim.

I-I know.

But what if it's true?

Someone might have it out for Lucifer.

I guess it's possible; I-I guess I could narrow it down to which cop it could be by tracking down the department cars but I don't know what to do.

I don't know to tell Chloe or to not tell...

Whoa, Dan.

What are you doing?

I'm-I'm flattered, but I just... you're right.

We-we need to be on the same page here, which is that this is no bueno.

I got-I got caught up in the moment.

[inhales sharply]

It won't happen again. It's okay.

Don't worry about it. And about the Tiernan thing, it sounds like it's way out of left field to me.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, you're-you're right.

Uh, okay, uh, anyway, uh, later.

[door opens] Later.

[door closes]

[exhales forcefully]

[sighs] So listen.

I talked to your parents.

They're flying back from vacation.

Now, we're gonna get you a good lawyer, clear your name and you'll be out of here soon.

Let me ask you something.

What makes you so sure I didn't k*ll that teacher?

Because I know you wouldn't.

And you figured all that out by knowing me for one whole day? Yes.

I know you wouldn't m*rder anyone, Caleb.

But that doesn't matter.

So who cares if you believe me? The cops don't.

But you're innocent.

The truth will come out and they'll have no choice but to set you free. What kind of bullshit fantasy world do you be livin' in, man?

I mean, look what happened to you.

You didn't even do anything and you almost got sh*t.

The only truth that matters is theirs.

And to them, I am a black kid who is selling dr*gs, whose fingerprints were found on the m*rder w*apon.

My life is over.

Just go.

Stop wasting your time on me.

I'm not leaving you, Caleb.

Now, there are good people out there who can find out the real truth.

But they're gonna need your help and I'm not asking you to have faith in them.

Have faith in me.

Okay?

♪♪

This is an interesting pair up, huh?

Loved your profile.

And all those stories you made up about murderous exploits?

[laughing] Wow.

Uh, consider me turned on.

[chuckles weakly]

But, uh...

I don't see this working out.

I mean, we're both clearly alphas.

We'd just wind up butting heads and locking horns.

I just don't see a future together.

But have a lovely evening and good luck, m'lady.

Mm-hmm.

♪ As if on cue... ♪

[groans]

♪ We got ourselves into? ♪ Oh. Hey, Maze.

Um, have you seen Lucifer?

No. [sighs]

You okay?

That was my 21st bad date. And my 22nd is about to arrive any minute.

Damn.

Talk about stamina.

I know this must sound crazy... but I'm starting to think that maybe...

I'm the problem.

That is crazy.

You're awesome.

What are you doing on these dates?

Normal stuff. Okay.

Well, why don't we, um... figure this out. Let's practice on me.

We can pretend to be on a date and, um... we can try to figure out what's going wrong. Okay.

Okay.

I'll start.

Hi, I'm Eve.

Hey.

I'm Maze.

Nice to meet you.

Want to have sex?

Good. There's nothing wrong with having sex on the first date. But, you know, maybe just wait a few sentences before you go there.

Okay, tell me about yourself.

Well... I like sex.

Good. And...?

[groans]

[sighs]

It's just hard to open up about my life.

I am a demon, after all. What's wrong with that?

Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you... you.

♪ If you want me to... ♪ Anyway, don't you have another hot date coming?

♪ Don't mind if I do... ♪

[MAZE] Looks like he's a no-show.

Why don't we keep going?

You know, this is really helping.

Yeah.

♪ Bonnie and Clyde ♪ So, how are things going with Eve?

Not good.

I tried being a super bad boyfriend so she'd break up with me but it failed spectacularly.

Of course it failed, Lucifer.

'Cause that's not who you are.

And how do you know who I am?

[AMENADIEL] Caleb Mayfield is innocent, Chloe.

Now you really need to look into it.

What happened? Did he say something to you?

Yes. That he's being set up. Did he say by who?

Because I've been looking at it as well, and I agree.

Something doesn't add up, it's just too easy.

Whoever framed him must've known that he would make a really good target. You mean they knew he sold dr*gs.

Yes. Now I had Caleb write down a list of all the kids that he sold to.

Well, here's a list of everyone that had access to the golf closet.

If one of these kids is on Caleb's list, too, then that person would have means and opportunity to set him up.

So let's see.

No, none of the names match.

But aren't those two dating?

Lexy Shaw and Nate Benedict.

And they're each other's alibi.

I'm sorry I didn't come forward sooner.

I was afraid. [inhales sharply]

Maybe I didn't want to accept it... that he could do something like this.

[crying]

So, Nate k*lled Ms. Baez?

I love him. [sniffles]

But he can get so angry sometimes.

It's scary. Mm-hmm.

And Nate was devastated when his parents split up.

I think he blamed it on Ms. Baez.

I just never thought he'd go this far.

Lexy, let's take a break, all right?

And, um, I'll go grab you some tissues.

[muffled crying]

[door opens]

[door closes]

She's lying.

Then tell them the truth, Nate.

Now.

It's all because of stupid Harvard.

Lexy had to get in. She insisted that I go, too.

And she got us a ton of Adderall so we could study harder.

My grades went up, and then the SAT came, and Ms. Baez was the test administrator.

You stole the test.

[NATE] Yeah, we knew she had a copy locked in her office.

And I didn't want to do it. And she made me.

And then Ms. Baez found out.

And that's why you were fighting after the YAAE meeting?

She told me that if I didn't come clean, she was calling my dad, and then the cops.

And when I told Lexy, she freaked.

Said, "I have worked too hard to get into Harvard, and I'm not letting Ms. Baez ruin it."

And she made me steal Caleb's club and...

You-you k*lled her? No!

I couldn't do it, but Lexy-Lexy did.

And I'm just as bad because... because I covered it all up.

And I lied about Caleb. He didn't do anything.

And why should we believe you, Nate?

Because I'm telling the truth, and I can prove it.

[CHLOE] How? Lexy's bloody clothes.

I was supposed to get rid of them, and I didn't.

I didn't even care about Harvard.

Lexy just wanted me to be someone I'm not, and I should've stood up to her before anybody got hurt.

I'm so sorry.

So you're free to go.

And you got your necklace back. Yeah.

I paid off Tahir, so you don't have to worry about him anymore.

Looks like I owe you a favor now.

How can I get you back?

You know something, I've been thinking about that, and I will accept nothing less than a game of one-on-one.

Mm. Tomorrow.

As long as we can get ice cream afterward.

[laughs]

By the way, you got nothing to worry about.

About what? Being a dad. You're gonna crush it.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[laughing] Then he got all upset with me because I laughed at the end of the movie.

I mean, I thought it was a comedy.

[laughs]

Have you seen it?

Marley & Me? No.

But, um, maybe we can watch it together.

[laughs]

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Anyway, enough about my bad dating stories.

Don't you have any?

Bad dating stories?

Um, no. [laughs]

I was married for, like, thousands of years.

And then, on my second try, I found "the one."

Yeah, but how did you know that Lucifer was "the one"?

With Adam, I-I guess I felt like I was always trying to be someone that I wasn't.

And then with Lucifer... I feel like I can just be myself. You know?

At least I did.

Lately, I feel like he's kind of pulling away from me.

That's just Lucifer. He can be a self-sabotaging jackass sometimes.

But he will come around. He'd be a fool not to.

You're way too awesome.

♪ But mostly I... ♪

[MAZE] You want another drink?

[EVE] You need another drink. [MAZE] Yeah, I do.

♪ Mind... ♪ Yeah.

♪ Anytime... ♪ Yo, Mazey Maze.

Uh, what's going on?

We're having a drink, bro.

Yeah, 'cause it kind of looks to me like you're making the moves on Lucifer's girl.

Well, it kind of looks to me like you're wasted.

Don't sweat it. I'm not gonna say anything. 'Cause you and me, we're the same. You should've seen how I played Ella today. And assholes like us, we gotta stick together. [laughs]

I am not interested in Eve, Dan. We're just talking. You know, hanging out.

That's great. [stammers]

That's cool 'cause that means that you won't care if I take a sh*t.

Back off.

Whoa, so I-I struck a nerve after all. I'm gonna do you a solid, okay? I'm gonna go tell Eve exactly how you feel about her.

[shouts]

Come on, Maze. Is that all you got?

Come on. Give it to me! Come on.

You want me to hurt you.

You're trying to punish yourself.

Get him out of here.

[elevator chimes]

Eve?

We, um... we need to talk.

I've been thinking.

Actually, I have something I want to say first.

Go on.

Tonight, a friend helped me realize that...

[sighs] I'm great.

No, you know what? I'm awesome.

And...

I deserve to be treated well.

You're right.

[chuckles softly]

And you are so much more than awesome, Eve. You have a light inside of you that brightens the world, and a smile so infectious that it captures the heart of anyone lucky enough to see it. And, uh, I'm sorry for the way that I've treated you lately. You don't deserve that.

That's all I wanted to hear.

LUCIFER: Which is why... I should've just said this straightaway. I want to break up with you.

I don't... understand. I've been trying so hard to please you. I've made friends with all your friends.

LUCIFER: Yeah, see, that's just it.

You shouldn't have to change for anyone.

And neither should I.

Eve, I have been trying so hard to make you happy, too; trying to be someone I'm not.

Or at least someone I don't want to be anymore.

And you deserve to be with someone that wants what you want.

I want to be with you.

LUCIFER: And I don't like who I am with you! I don't.

[phone vibrating]

LUCIFER: Sorry. I-I have to take this. It's work.

Detective, how can I help you?

No, I don't know where Amenadiel is. Why?

[siren wailing in distance]

♪♪

♪♪

[indistinct police radio chatter]

Amenadiel...

I promise you we will find whoever did this.

I know who did this.

LUCIFER: I'll drive.

♪ I can feel the floor shaking ♪

♪ And the glass begin to break ♪

♪ And now it's retribution time ♪

♪ 'Cause the church that I went to ♪

♪ It ain't that holy ♪ What's the damage, big man?

[grunting]

Caleb. I warned that boy not to do that, man.

[grunts]

[yells]

- ♪ Face what I deserve ♪ [grunting]

♪ Here comes judgment day ♪

[yells] - ♪ I won't run, the guilt is mine ♪

♪ Too long denying all my crimes ♪

♪ Face what I deserve ♪

♪ Here comes judgment day ♪

They've lost themselves.

Earth is...

...no place to raise my son.

♪♪

How's Amenadiel doing?

Oh, you know... tormented.

And how are you doing?

[laughs softly]

I broke up with Eve.

Oh. Well, you know, I'm...

I'm sure if it's what you wanted, then it's all for the best.

It is what I wanted.

She was in love with the person I used to be.

I understand. You've changed.

You've become a better man, Lucifer.

You see, that's just it, Detective.

Eve sees me in a different way.

Mm.

But so do you.

That's what makes you so...so special. The fact you see me that way. But I don't like how that makes me feel either.

["River" by Leon Bridges playing]

♪ Been traveling these wide roads for so long ♪

♪ My heart's been far from you ♪

♪ 10,000 miles gone ♪

♪ In my darkness I remember ♪

♪ Momma's words reoccur to me ♪

♪ "Surrender to the good Lord ♪

♪ And He'll wipe your slate clean" ♪

♪ Take me to your river ♪

♪ I wanna go ♪

♪ Oh, go on ♪

♪ Take me to your river ♪

♪ I wanna know ♪

♪ I wanna go, wanna go, wanna go ♪

This is all His fault.

What is?

Every bad thing that's ever happened.

With Eve.

With the detective.

[exhales sharply]

Dear Old Dad's back up to His old tricks, manipulating me.

Using these two women to tear me apart.

Do you really believe that?

Oh, with every fiber of my being.

But I also know it's a lie.

A grand deception I've been telling myself for...

[sighs heavily] since before I can remember.

Why do you think you've been lying to yourself all this time?

Because the truth is so much harder to face.

What is the truth?

My Devil face.

My Devil wings.

Everything that's happening to me, it's my own bloody fault.

I've brought this upon myself. How's about that for starters?

Don't you see? This is progress.

Genuine progress.

Unraveling these patterns of denial is the first step toward resolving these issues.

No.

Doctor, this isn't progress.

Because if I'm doing this to myself, then the... then the real truth is...

Is what?

Is what?

Come on, Lucifer.

This will weigh on you unless you face it head-on.

The real truth is what?

There is something rotten inside of me.

I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of voices whispering in my ear, telling me I am evil.

I'm drowning, Doctor!

And I can't stop asking myself...

...why do I hate myself so much?!