03x03 - Colder Weather

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Wynonna Earp". Aired: April 2016 to present.*
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"Wynonna Earp" follows Wyatt Earp's great granddaughter as she battles demons and other creatures. With her unique abilities, and a posse of dysfunctional allies, she's the only thing that can bring the paranormal to justice.
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03x03 - Colder Weather

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously, on "Wynonna Earp"...

We are murderers, you and I.

Destined for the dark.

There is something wrong with Dolls's dr*gs.

Whatever Black Badge did to Dolls, it's made him unstable.

'Cause the only way to do what we're doing without going crazy is to have people we fight for.

Dolls!!!

He's not breathin'. He's gone, Wynonna.

How is he lying here?!

Bulshar!!!

Bulshar!!!!

Come and face me, you piece of sh*t!

Bulshar!!!

Are we gonna go get her? Give her five more minutes.

Well, what happens if Bulshar does show?

Then my money's on the grief-stricken demon k*ller.

Oh, the one who's so hammered she can barely walk?

She's got Peacemaker. And us.

Yeah, thank God for that.

Let's finish this!

No, you're right.

Bulshar wouldn't give her the satisfaction of coming.

She's got company. Dammit! Wynonna!

Okay.

Wynonna Earp.

Not the prick I was looking for but a prick nonetheless.

That's what my first wife said. And I k*lled her for it.

Didn't think you'd be here.

Where else would I be? Planning a funeral.

Ah! Oh. Oh...

They said you'd sh**t me on first sight.

But it was worth it to see your pain.

Shut up.

Bulshar got one of yours, which means my side, the revenants, finally got a win.

I was hoping no one else would have to die today.

We can make it you. I aim to please.

I'm too tired to k*ll you.

Oh!

That makes one of us. b*tches!

Yeah, you better run!

You sh*t him right in the d*ck?

That was really sweet.

Right, that settles it, okay?

No one's going anywhere alone for a while.

Not... not until we...

Until we say goodbye.

I don't know how I'm gonna put Dolls in the ground.

So shall we call a truce for now?

Last time we met, you had me tied to a stripper pole.

You used to like that kind of thing.

And if we're keeping score, you sh*t me.

Well, you did not die.

But he did.

The cards spoke to me about the death of a great warrior.

I'm sorry.

That is not for you to apologize for.

I can tell you where he's gone. I know where he is.

Xavier Dolls was a good man, and now he is at peace.

Yes, well, peace is for heroes.

And my hero, the one who took down your vampire kin, she's hurtin'.

She's the one that needs my help.

The man who d*ed, the marshal? Wynonna loved him too.

You might as well stop chasing that girl.

You'd be competing with a ghost for the rest of your days.

Get out. Never ends well.

I said get out, Countessa!

What do you want from me?

I just want you to say my name.

But if not that, can I meet your friends?

Absolutely not. - C'est la vie.

We always did have terrible timing.

No. We were just terrible.

Oak is a more traditional choice, but our poplar is locally sourced.

So much money for a box he'll never see.

Yeah, I'm not having a casket.

What? You're not? It's good to have a plan, to discuss your final wishes with your husbands.

Yeah, that's right, baby. It is... so important.

So what do you want?

I want a sky funeral.

They put your corpse up on a scaffold in the middle of the wilderness, attracting crows and magpies, vultures...

Vultures.

They devour you, piece by piece, and then eventually they, um, dispatch your remains back over the land.

Wow. That's, uh, very... graphic.

And ecologically conscious.

Well, I haven't really thought about when I... if I...

Well, there's not much "if" to it, dear.

I... guess I'll be buried with... with Willa and Dad.

Ooh, this is awkward.

Ward only purchased two additional spaces in the Earp family plot, beyond his own and Willa's: one earmarked for your mother, and... one for your other sister, Wynonna.

Oh.

Yeah, I'm not doing him, or this.

Wynonna...

I don't... I have no idea what Dolls would want.

You were his best friend.

Oh, is that what I was? Stop.

Look, these decisions are important.

Yeah, I know. But the thing about death, you know, is it's forever.

You know? So there's plenty of time.

All the time in the world.

Finally planting your left foot, I see.

More like I stepped in a frozen cow patty and I'm kinda stuck.

Looks good on ya.

I will never tire of this view.

I know I'm supposed to face the facts.

I mean, I've done all of this before.

With Daddy and Shorty, Willa.

Twice.

Willa twice.

This one's quite a kick in the box.

Yes, ma'am.

I still don't understand what happened to him out there on that ledge.

We were dying, Wynonna, and Dolls, he saved us.

Oh, love.

Oh, love...

Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

Back in my day... Oh, God, haven't I suffered enough?

Back in my day, gunslingers that d*ed with their boots on, they were buried at Boot Hill.

'Course, it was a flagrant popularity contest. Cactus Pete, he got in.

He was only called that after he got his ass so full of needles, that they had to call in a seamstress and...

But the ritual of it...

Setting a man's horse loose to run.

Placing a fine bottle of whisky on his grave...

That sounds kinda nice.

Whisky which I would then steal because good liquor should never be wasted on the dead.

I guess death was cheap back then.

It was never cheap.

We need to get Bulshar.

We need to do right by Dolls first.

D'you know he was from Arizona?

Does he want us to take him back there?

I figure he chose his family and we're it.

We're all of it.

Poor assh*le.

No, it's... it's inappropriate, or, you know, disrespectful.

It is necessary. When a man dies, he should be celebrated.

But Dolls didn't even drink! Yeah, well, we need to.

I think Doc's right. I think a wake would be nice.

Okay, fine. I'll make sandwiches.

Pastrami, salami, egg, tuna, cucumber, ham-and-cheese, ham, ham no cheese...

Waves, we don't need sandwiches for an army, okay?

Dolls had five friends.

Four of them are right here.

But I'm starving. Aren't you? My God.

Is it wrong to be this hungry when Dolls will never eat again?

Oh, my God, why can't I stop giggling?

Now who's inappropriate?

Okay... hey.

I'm sorry, should I be more like you?

Yeah, rigid and unfeeling when our friend is in the morgue and the big dead guy who had him k*lled is still out there!

Is that enough feeling for you?

I'll make sure that there's enough libations at Shorty's to fortify us through this.

What do we do now?

Haught?

Um...

Uh, maybe we could go to Dolls's motel room and... find something for him to wear.

Well, how do we get in? I've got a key.

We had a professional kind of trust.

Officers in the line of duty.

She said duty. Yeah, she sure did, cutie.

We can go.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Um, we got this.

I don't even know where Dolls... is.

Jeremy's doing the autopsy. What?!

It's routine in these circumstances, Wynonna.

He's not cutting him up! No way.

No way!

A break-in.

Do people not have any g*dd*mn respect?!

All they seem to have lifted is the banana liqueur.

Howdy, pardner.

Yeah, hiya. Back for more banana liqueur?

A generous yet... baffling offer.

I did just get off a bus and could do with a beer, but instead I find myself being held at gunpoint by a guy with a seriously committed moustache.

Yeah, and you, sir, have also drawn on me.

Thus we seem to have ourselves a classic Mexican standoff.

It's not PC to qualify it specifically as Mexican anymore.

Yeah, well, the bar is closed, and will remain closed for the rest of the afternoon. We're holding a wake.

For Sergeant Xavier Dolls. I know. That's why I'm here.

I'm a friend.

Yeah, well, you better have proof, friend, 'cause I've got one in the chamber... and m*rder on my mind.

I've seen monks with more sh*t.

Yeah, well, Dolls was an enigmatic dude.

And a cop.

You guys got each other.

That's really nice.

Well, he had a traumatic past.

He did? What, with Black Badge?

So he felt like he could help me with my own.

Nicole? Hey, what... what happened?

I was just a kid.

Um...

My parents were travelling again and they told me I could go to this music festival with my aunt and uncle.

Here.

In the Ghost River Triangle?

There was an att*ck.

A man in leather.

So much screaming and blood.

The demon Dolls k*lled at the cliff?

Bondage Bob?

For years, my parents just told me that everybody d*ed in a forest fire, and that I had... I had somehow escaped, but... you know, it just didn't explain the nightmares.

Yeah, I've...

I've heard them.

Last spring, when... Widow Mercedes said his name...

Bulshar... it was like this shotgun went off in my head.

And Dolls helped me. He got me files, he... he told me that...

Black Badge had been covering up these massacres for years.

The Cult of Bulshar.

Oh, Nicole...

I somehow got myself down to the river and then... then somebody saved me...

But I couldn't save Dolls.

None of us could. And he was trying to help me, and now he's dead.

This is all my fault.

Oh, shhh. Hey.

Shhh. It's okay.

You're safe.

We can find out more, okay?

If you want to.

But, of course, this is not your fault.

Oh... God.

Ah, sorry.

No. Today's about Dolls.

We have a lot to do. Let's finish up.

"To Wynonna. For when I'm gone."

Chetri?

Jeremy, put that scalpel down right now.

No scalpel. Calm down, Wynonna.

You're not doing an autopsy? No, I, uh... I don't need to.

'Cause I knew what was gonna k*ll Dolls. So did he.

Dolls knew he was gonna... die?

Did you?

He knew? You knew? How could you not tell me?

He didn't want me to. I don't care.

It's called loyalty, Jeremy. Look it up.

I was respecting Dolls's wishes.

That's as loyal as it gets, Wynonna.

Do you think this was easy for me?

I don't care. If I'd known, I...

There's nothing you could've done.

I tried.

It was the dr*gs. It was Black Badge.

I will never forgive you for this.

I get it. It's easier to blame me than the dead dragon, right?

How dare you?

Pack up your science sh*t, Chetri.

You don't get to be a part of this anymore.

then Xavier, he just takes out the rest of them with just a broken cricket bat!

Never even broke a sweat.

There she is. Wynonna Earp, Staff Sergeant Ramon Quinn.

Just "Quinn" is fine.

Quinn is tied to the bar with twinkly lights.

That was my doing. You're welcome. I am not taking any chances.

Mm-mm. But you are taking all of the whisky.

Doc, did you know? Know about Quinn?

No, that Dolls knew he was dying. Of course he was dying.

His body couldn't take it anymore.

He's lucky he lasted as long as he did. Probably by sheer will.

Never saw anyone eat so much kale by choice.

You knew Dolls?

Better than anyone.

Quinn says there was no way to save him.

Not without the Black Badge serum.

And nobody has any of that left.

Oh.

Ah. Ooo-ee, that smack we boosted from Shorty's is the real deal.

We get as powerful as that Black Badge agent was, and we get to k*ll the Earp heir!

Yeah.

What's the matter, boss?

Help!!!

It's impossible How did you find us?

Someone posted an ad in the back of g*ns and Glory magazine.

Old-school.

Our money's on Jeremy placing the ad, after, at Dolls's request.

It was in code, one our entire squadron used to send a signal so we could attend each other's funerals without Black Badge showing up.

Because you were all dying. They were, or... are, all dead.

And isn't that convenient.

Long story short, they experimented on us.

Our genes mixed with demon god-knows-what.

To what end?

Turn you all into super soldiers?

I'm no scientist. I just did what I was told.

And it is not convenient.

It sucks.

I wasn't experimented on like the rest of them.

Wrong blood type.

You two should know that Dolls resisted BBD's modifications as long as he could.

Broke out of our facility and made a run for it six times in three months.

Never really thought of Dolls as a rebel.

He was so stubborn.

That's probably why he lasted so much longer than the rest of the guys.

If Dolls knew he was dying, then why didn't he... contact BBD, or go to a doctor or... anything that could help him?

Maybe he stuck around for you.

No maybe about it.

Quinn?

You can stay for the wake and then you're gone.

And, buddy, if you try anything, today of all days...

I'm just here to pay my respects.

I swear.

Watch him.

Really watch him.

What do we do with it?

I'm no mail carrier, but give it to her?

And why is there only a letter for Wynonna?

We know why.

Ah, don't do that. What?

Don't give me that sad little someone-stole-my-new-puppy look.

I don't need pity, Waves.

Well, I'm sorry if it's gonna take me more than 10 minutes to digest that my girlfriend was the only survivor of a supernatural m*ssacre.

I am sorry.

I am.

And...

And?

And I kind of thought you were normal.

Ouch.

Look, you came back to Purgatory to be a cop.

Yeah. Right? Which... which means it can't be a coincidence.

Probably not.

Which means none of us have any free will over our lives, and then we're all gonna die anyway, so what's the point?

The point is that I love you.

And if that's our destiny, then I am pretty darned stoked.

Just try not to die, okay? Okay, yeah. Ditto.

Now don't you have way too many sandwiches to make?

Yes.

Someone's at the window. We're three floors up.

Who is it?! Some hot Goth?

Demon? Vampire? Big Bauhaus fan?

Call me Katalin.

Oh! Nicole! She's got my purse! Quick!

Come on! Oh!

Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Hey, are you okay? Oh.

Come here. Oh, God, I'm so sorry!

Well, she moves pretty fast for a hot chick.

Okay, you called her hot twice now.

Oh, my God. This is... this is the worst thing I've done since...

Champ?

Nicole, Dolls's letter to Wynonna was in there!

We can't be late to the wake. Wait.

Katalin? No, she can't be.

Can't be what? Can't... be late to the wake.

C'mon! Let's go.

I was just, uh...

I was just making sure no one... messed with him, just in case.

Could've asked Lonnie to do it.

Yeah, Lonnie got eaten by vampires.

Oh.

Well, aren't I an assh*le.

You know, I used to think Deputy Marshall Dolls was too.

But, you know, the more and more I see that... protecting the world, maybe that requires a bit of selfishness.

You should be at the wake, Wynonna.

He was one of us, and until I can figure out what to do with his body...

And I'll be here until you do.

Thanks, Nedley.

My privilege.

To Dolls. To Dolls.

Doc! Hey, hi.

Waverly, these sandwiches, they are simply delicious.

Thanks. Listen... No, please, if I may:

I wanna apologize for my behaviour earlier.

Grief gives rise to much confession.

Shakespeare? Kendrick Lamar. Listen...

Waverly, my last conversation with Dolls...

What happened?

I told him we were destined for hell.

Doc, why would you say something like that?

Because I am.

Because I've been there. I went there.

When Dolls sh*t me, when I d*ed. And I will return when it's my turn to be toasted.

I am so, so, so sorry about what happened to you, but I need your help.

Here. Now.

Okay.

Dolls left something for Wynonna, a letter, and a sneaky, but yes, okay, fine, total smoke show with the perfect purple pout snatched it and... disappeared.

Called herself Katalin?

For God's sakes.

I think I know who your thief is.

Thought you might.

I think it is best if we keep this on the down-low.

Gotcha.

Yorkie. No one could understand a word he was saying, but he was a cr*ck sh*t.

Burbs, he actually... he got drafted into the Majors, but joined up instead.

Ah, Jingles.

Jingles. And Burb. You got any Johns or Richards?

Nicknames are bonding.

I never even knew Burb's real name until I went to his funeral.

It was John-Richard. Okay.

Our squad's less nickname-y, more "Hey, dingus, pass me some b*ll*ts," but we've always got each other's backs.

Who had Dolls's back?

Sorry.

Ah, you're drunk. Mm.

And the last one standing.

You know, every night I lay down in bed, I say their names over and over.

Everyone who d*ed on my watch.

The job's hard enough. Why t*rture yourself? I don't.

I have tried to leave Black Badge behind.

Good, 'cause they're gone.

What if they're not?

They put a lot of money into us.

Into him.

Think they're just gonna let him be?

You think they'd come for what's... left of Dolls?

I think there's a reason the rest of my friends' graves are unmarked.

Oh. Hey. Hey, Nicole.

If you're looking for Waverly and Doc, they just left out the back.

No, I am looking for more vodkee, actually.

What are you doing alone down here?

You get to say goodbye, too, Jeremy.

What... happened down here?

Doc said there was a break-in. Probably some rummies.

Doesn't the timing seem suspicious?

Well, it's Purgatory. Last Halloween, I saw over 20 black cats.

I swear they were all wearing bow ties.

sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

The dr*gs Rosita was trying to replicate for Dolls, the rejected formulas that didn't work...

They're gone? Gone like the girl in Gone Girl!

The movie and the book! I'll k*ll you!!

Give us the Earp heir and the rest of you can live.

Screw that. You're all going down!

Demons? Revenants.

And they're jacked up to sh*t.

Ah!! C'mere!


Argh! Uh!

My bad.

This is a memorial, dipshit.

D'you even bring a casserole?

Ah!

What the hell?! Got another one!

Suck hell, revhead.

Ah!!

No sale.

Hi.

Yeah, hey, where the hell are you?

And why d'you answer Doc's phone?

Doc shoved it at me when he saw it was you.

We have to run an errand.

An errand in the middle of a wake?

We'll be back in two shakes. Why? What's up?

Well.

Officer Fire Crotch. Demon Blown-off Balls.

Yah! Oh.

You smell like banana liqueur!

Ah!

Ah!!

And you thought getting wang-sh*t sucked?

Some revenants got into the lizard dr*gs Jeremy made for Dolls, but no, yeah, please, take your time.

Bye.

Is Wynonna okay? Well, we probably shouldn't dally.

And we're back at the Gardner House.

What the hell was that? What were they?

Three paranormal tours with BBD but this Fs with your S?

It's not the att*ck. It's not the demons.

Revenants.

It's that you civilians had access to Black Badge dr*gs.

We didn't have access to them.

We synthesized them.

So Dolls wouldn't have to depend on Black Badge to live.

You can do that? Not me. Our narc can.

He flew me into a cash register.

That's Agent Chetri.

He's a Black Badge scientist. What the hell's he doing here?

F-ing with my S. He was trying to keep Dolls alive.

Hmm. Talk about a fail.

I, uh, I'm gonna go back to the office and log what's left of the serum.

Make sure none of it got stolen. Sounds like a plan.

Look, Holliday... Holliday?

Can you just tell me who she is? I mean, I have a hunch.

Many sweet autumn moons ago...

Okay, Doc.

She's my wife.

Does anyone around here not have a secret wife?

Just come in already.

Countessa.

Doc. Oh, are we doing introductions?

Great. Hi! I'm Waverly Earp, and you're squatting on Gardner land, and you took something that belongs to my dead friend Dolls, which is shitty and tacky!

And you want it back? And I want it back!!

Temperance.

The angel card.

Balance and moderation.

But it's upside down.

Lack of long-term vision.

Hmm. Is she always such a snoozie boots?

Hey.

Ah!

Ah!

Give the envelope back, or next time I bring a stake.

I thank you very much.

Did you open it? Of course not.

I'm a vampire, not an assh*le.

I just wanted an invitation.

Well, then like a few selfies and slide into my DMs like a normal person.

If I may... No, you may not!

So you slept with Doc. Who hasn't?!

Okay, not me, but the point is, someone we love is dead!

If we're all destined to be here and we're all gonna die here, we need to figure out how to be here... together.

I get it now.

The little one... so fiery.

Just like Wyatt.

Waverly is not even an Earp.

She's something alright.

That's not for you.

Okay. And neither is this wake.

Are you really gonna do this right now?

Tough-love you back to your senses? Feels like about that time.

A man I...

Someone I love is dead. You're not the only one who lost him.

You don't get a monopoly over the grief we all feel.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to be, Earp.

I know you'd rather be angry than what you're feeling right now.

Ahem.

I told Jeremy to pack up his things and leave.

Well, then you better go make sure he doesn't.

And I shouldn't have called you a traitorous nerdling when I know a deception dweeb is less harsh and more accurate.

Stay out of this, Wynonna. What are you doing, Quinn?

Bad stuff! With my good stapler!

I need him to tell me where he's hiding the dr*gs.

Alright, we can find them together. But let Jeremy go.

He's a Black Badge lackey. They did stuff to me too, you know!

He's just a good soldier, like you.

Just following orders? You don't trust him either.

Actually, I do.

He is what's left of Black Badge, and they... are gonna pay for what they did to Dolls.

I get it, I really do. And not just Dolls.

Jingles, Yorkie, Eliza.

Yeah. Eliza.

What's the end game here, Quinn?

I inject myself with Agent Chetri's bootleg BBD dr*gs and storm Black Badge HQ.

You saw what the dr*gs did to the revenants, right?

It doesn't work!

Ah!!!

Avenge the squadron.

Go out in a blaze of glory.

If that's what it takes.

The only thing that matters is doing right by the people I hurt.

What people you hurt?

Every time Dolls escaped Black Badge custody as a kid, who do you think it was who brought him back?

Over and over, even when he begged, because those were my orders.

I'm gonna put the g*n... and the beer down.

Fish.

Levi. Shorty.

Yeah, Eliza.

Stop. Stop. My sister, Willa.

My own father. Dolls.

I lied when I said I don't...

I don't t*rture myself with their names.

We all have a trail of ghosts.

And a list of enemies we want to get revenge on.

But they k*ll ours and we get some of theirs.

And on and on... until the end of time.

Going kamikaze isn't... gonna bring them back.

No matter what we do, they're still dead.

So what am I supposed to do?

Live.

Let it go... Quinn.

Dolls wouldn't want this for you.

Or for him.

Oh, God!

Oh, sh*t.

Thanks.

Sorry I tried to t*rture and k*ll your friend.

Meh. He can be pretty annoying.

You want to make it up to us, find out if there's anything left of Black Badge and destroy the blood contracts they made me and my team sign.

Pay a visit to Mr. Moody?

Sounds like my kind of mission.

Quinn. You come back here for any other reason, I will personally rearrange you so that hand tattoo ends up your ass.

That's fair.

You sure?

Agent...

Sergeant Dolls should be with his friends.

Thank you.

Wynonna.

Don't let his fire go to waste.

Uh, I just... I just relieved Nedley.

Thanks.

Look, Wynonna, I promise... all I did was catalogue paranormal entities and do some IT. I...

I had no idea what Black Badge was doing to Dolls and his brothers.

Dolls was more than just his body.

So much more.

But we can't let his body become currency.

No. Never again.

There's only ever been one option.

We should do this more often.

It's 20 below out.

But yeah... this is okay. Hmm.

Have you thought about your own plans for, um... for when you go?

Go where?

Oh.

Of course.

I don't have a spot in the Earp burial plot.

Neither of us is ending up in there.

You seen the view from the graveyard?

I'm not spending eternity facing my old high school.

So the plan is just to live forever?

Call it 80 more years and then you and me will be buried here on the homestead.

Side by side.

I suppose that'll do.

Don't ask if Nicole can come too.

You're my favourite person in the whole wide world, baby girl.

And once we've defeated Bulshar, you're stuck with me.

Forever.

Okay?

Here.

What's this?

Dolls left it for you. Just you.

Oh, my God, I remember that day.

What does it mean?

Keep going.

Keep fighting.

Fine. Nicole can be buried with us.

Nicole wants to be eaten by vultures and then pooped out again.

Hard-core.

Is there anything you will not do to get under my skin?

You're pushing me away. What choice did I have?

I am truly sorry about your friend.

Now, I want to believe you.

When I heard that you had d*ed, I could barely...

And Wyatt.

He didn't.

I heard he lived a good long life.

Moved to Hollywood. He became a stunt rider.

Yes. He also never stopped looking for you.

Spent thousands... hired trackers.

Ultimately it broke his heart, you know.

Before Wyatt passed, he did me a kindness.

Told me the truth.

And when I heard that you had arisen...

I knew what I had to do. And what is that?

Whatever it takes.

One rule.

No teeth, Kate.
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