04x14 - Serfs Up-rising

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪ [Renaissance music playing]

[Plays fanfare]

I am delighted to announce the beginning of Renaissance Week, a thrilling event where our whole camp takes a step back into the past to enjoy all the excitement of the Middles Ages with none of the rampant disease.

"Step back into the past"?

But I just stepped into the present.

Emojis are part of me now.

My little baby's all grown up.

These are your randomly selected Renaissance characters which are the roles you'll need to inhabit all week.

"Roles"?

"Inhabit"?

"Characters"?

She's hitting all my buzzwords.

Remember, the best way to enjoy the week is to embrace your character.

And if you don't do it for the fun, do it because I'll be watching.

I'm looking at you, Ava.

Hey!

Yeah, that's fair.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ My role is chambermaid?

I wanted to be queen.

I'm great at wearing crowns, giving orders, and I've nailed the wave.

Check this wrist action.

Save that wrist action for getting under the rim of the toilet bowl.

Or as I like to call it, "the Upside Down." Well, who does get to be the monarch?

I don't know who gets to be monarch, but I'm king!

Seriously?

Finn is going to...

Uh-uh-uh.

That's King Finn to you, lowly peasant.

Now, don't you have a throne to tend to?

A porcelain one, the royal flush, Sir John...

I get it, Lou!

"Clean the toilet." Uh, "jester"?

Not funny.

I beg to differ.

There's no way that I'm going to wear...

I want to remember you just like this.

Come on, Ava.

Commit to your role.

Like me.

I got "wealthy lord." So I decided I'm gonna be Lord Castlebaum, the first noble to realize a moat could double as a lazy river.

I can't believe I get to be a knight!

I can't believe I get to be a bard!

What's a bard?

A bard would write and tell epic stories about brave acts people did.

Like knights!

Matteo, I can tell stories about brave things you do.

Cool!

Is the plan for me to be brave outdoors?

If so, I'm gonna need some more sunscreen.

This knight freckles like a ripe banana.

Finn, as king, you don't have to wait.

You can go straight to the front.

I can?

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Destiny, you're right.

Come join me.

I have the power of royal cutsies.

Sorry, I'm with the king.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

King's orders and all.

This king stuff makes me stressed.

And when I get stressed, I get gassy.

So, I take it my king is stressed now?

Here you go, Your Highness.

Thank you.

Can I get a grilled cheese instead?

Special orders from a chambermaid?

Move along, your lowness.

The first day of Renaissance Week is almost over and we still haven't found a brave act I can do.

[Screams]

Rat!

Rat in the kitchen!

This is it!

Matteo, it's your chance to be a hero.

Yes!

I'm on it.

"Sir Matteo marched forth to the beast to save the chef and everyone's feast." [Matteo screaming]

The tail!

I was not prepared for the tail!

Good thing we have a whole week.

Ava, emergency.

How do I keep my tights from bunching?

Aw, sweetie.

I'm not gonna be this person for you.

What are all those?

Lou gave out tiny scrolls, and now everyone's sending each other little messages.

It's like texting but with a pen.

What's that called?

Writing?

No, that's not it.

"Wanteth to go pool noodle jousting?" "Dearest Ava, I'm your secret admirer." "Being jester is stupid." I sent that one to myself.

Why is no one sending me any scrolls?

No, you don't even want one, seriously.

They're just heartfelt notes from some of my many friends or people who think I'm cool.

How does that make it better?

Yeah, I can see why that might sting.

Um, King Finn, I can't help but get the strong sense that you're possibly stressed?

It's just that being king is such a big job.

I already messed up my first royal order.

I asked for a pool-noodle throne, when I really wanted a cool poodle throne.

Perhaps you need a royal advisor.

Yeah.

Hey, you helped me with the dinner line yesterday.

Maybe you could be my royal advisor.

Oh, Your Grace, I am but a lowly chambermaid.

It would take someone with great power to elevate my station.

Like a king.

Oh, bummer.

Three, two...

Wait!

I'm a king.

There it is.

Destiny, I dub thee my royal advisor.

I accept!

[Plays fanfare]

Deal with it.

I'm here to announce that today's lunch will be pheasant.

Oh.

Don't worry, Your Highness.

We have leftover stew for our vegetarian king.

But as king you can get whatever you want.

You could have Chef Jeff prepare, uh, oh, I don't know, grilled cheese.

Yeah, that would hit the spot.

And by the spot, I mean my tum-tum.

Chef Jeff, as royal advisor to the king, I'm here to inform you that the king wants grilled cheese instead.

So, chop-chop.

Well, you don't "chop-chop" a grilled cheese, but what do I know?

I just have eight years of culinary schooling.

As you wish.

Make it a platter of grilled cheese.

And a juice box.

The king is quite hungry.

Destiny, I was very clear about playing your role, and you are not a royal advisor.

But the king demanded this of me.

And I am here to serve his needs.

I said juice box, kitchen man!

Ah!

The king needed me to enjoy that.

Ava, huge news.

I got a scroll.

What?

A scroll?

What does it say?

'Cause I have no idea.

"Dear noble Lord Castlebaum...

[Mouthing]

thou art kind and sweet, and talented.

I think of ye fondly.

Sincerely, ye olde secret admirer.

P.S.: Heart emoji, heart emoji." "Dancing couple, turkey leg." I'm happy for you.

And the best part is it's from a secret admirer.

So no one will ever know who did such an uncharacteristically sweet gesture.

But I do know who wrote the scroll.

Say what, now?

It's Lady Buckley.

Or rather Alice, who's playing the role of Lady Buckley.

We've really been hitting it off this week.

We have so much in common.

We're both counselors, actors, and apparently, we both think I'm great.

But it's from a secret admirer.

It could've come from anyone.

Nope.

I asked Alice if she wrote it and she said she did.

Wait.

Alice said she wrote it?

Actually, she said, "I doth did." Because she commits to her part.

She's so professional.

[Sighs]

Um, what is going on, Gwen?

I've arranged a chance for you to demonstrate your bravery in a duel with Sir Becca from House Lemur Cat.

Like a duel of wits?

Those look like really sharp wits.

"Brave Sir Matteo never shies from a fight.

He flies into the fray like a super, tough...

kite?" They can't all be winners.

[Dramatic music playing]

[Swords swishing]

Sir Matteo, what are you doing?

Yielding by presenting my belly in a show of submission!

Matteo.

Clearly, you're still struggling with an act of bravery.

Luckily, I've arranged a quest for you.

Really?

What kind of quest?

That's for you to discover.

But I can say, perhaps this quest will lead you into the deepest and darkest of the woods.

Which woods?

We're surrounded by woods.

Perhaps the woods beyond the old sawmill.

Which sawmill?

This was once a vibrant logging community.

Perhaps I'll just draw you a map.

But first, I will mark the start of your quest with a mighty blow of my horn.

What?

Who did this?

And how?

It's good to be king.

Yeah, it is.

My Lord, your cheese appetite has created a shortage.

Soon, there won't be enough for all your subjects.

Oh, no.

Maybe I should cut back on the cheese.

Just kidding.

I decree that the king and his advisor require an abundance of cheese.

And the peasants will make do with what they have left.

So, cheese me, serfs.

But don't look me directly in the eye.

Just cheese me directly in the face.

Destiny, you have to stop.

You're abusing Finn's power and turning him into a tyrant.

He's king.

He can do whatever I want.

Did you hear it?

Hear what?

Lady Buckley, I apologize for my picnic spread.

It seemeth cheese is hard to come by these days.

You owe no apology, Lord Castlebaum.

This bounty taketh my breath away.

I fear I must slip away to use the privy.

But it pains me to part from you for even a moment.

Oh, your absence will be felt in every chamber of my heart.

I willst count the seconds until...

Sorry, my lady, but nature calleth.

Excuse me.

Alice?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Pardon yourself, boorish jester!

I am Lady Buckley.

And that is no way to address a noble.

Okay.

Look, can we just have a normal conversation?

[Gasps]

I am not going to stay here and speak with such a silly simpleton.

Look, I only wanted to know why you claimed to write a scroll I know you didn't.

I may have told a little fib.

Because I wanted Lord Castlebaum as a suitor.

Oops.

So you do have a thing for Noah?

Who is this Noah you speaketh of?

Oh.

Wait, I see what's going on here.

You're just playing the role of someone super annoying.

Or maybe you are super annoying.

Either way, great job.

Thou dost offend me!

I won't stand for your insults!

Tell Lord Castlebaum I'll see him anon.

Buh-bye.

Ava, where is Alice going?

Noah, I'm really sorry.

But I don't think Alice likes you that way.

Why would you say that?

Alive wrote me that incredible scroll.

She didn't.

I did.

I was just trying to do a nice thing.

That doesn't sound like you at all.

Yeah, I know, but I'm telling the truth.

Look, I don't believe you.

What Alice and I have is real.

You'll see.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my tights are riding up, and if I don't act quickly, I fear they may never ride down.

I wonder what quest Lou planned for me to test my bravery.

Matteo, look.

These tracks seem reptilian, but they're too big.

What could have made them?

I know what this means.

We're on a quest to slay a dragon.

That's ridiculous.

Dragons aren't real.

That's what you said about the curse of the new moon.

My pants didn't split because of a curse, they split because I'm a growing boy.

And I'm sure Lou set up a real chance for me to prove myself.

Or not.

I can't believe Lou sent me to battle a papier-mache dragon.

[Loud hissing]

[Gasps]

Do you think that could be whatever made those tracks?

A real dragon!

I knew it!

Mrs.

Kipling!

Gwen, don't be scared.

It's just...

Gwen?

Gwen!

Mrs.

Kipling.

Did you crawl all the way here from New York for a visit?

Stupid question.

Of course you flew private.

Just so you know, this is the last cheese in camp.

And I had to steal half of it out of rat traps.

We should go for a turn about the grounds once we've supped.

'Sup?

Okay, ready.

Bring forth your majesty's chariots.

Halt!

It's a bit drafty.

I do fear I forgot to put on my underwear.

Back to my cabin.

Halt!

Now I feel them.

Let us resume.

Halt!

Now that I think of it, I've been wearing these for days.

Chef Jeff, fetch me the kingdom's freshest pair of undies.

No!

I'm fed up with catering to the king and his cheese needs, and food moods, and underwear affairs, and insisting I rhyme all the time.

I'm done, it's no fun!

Chef Jeff, you forget yourself.

Now pick up that cheese or the king's subjects will seize you for punishment.

That's right!

All the peasants are revolting.

You know what I mean.

Angry revolting, not...

You're all very fine-looking folk.

Point is, get the king!

Lou, Chef Jeff is leading a revolt against Finn.

Ah, classic villager uprising.

Did this back in '09 when Hazel was queen.

Good times.

Destiny, help!

I'm back to save you from the dragon!

No, Gwen, it's okay.

It's not a dragon, it's a friend.

A friend?

Are you telling me you tamed the beast?

Let me explain.

You see...

Yes, yes, give me all the details.

This is gonna be an amazing tale.

"The dragon was fierce, Sir Matteo was stoic.

By taming the beast he proved heroic." You think I'm a hero?

Of course!

Now tell me more, my brave knight.

Well...

[Chuckles]

The monster put up a pretty big fight, but eventually, I told him, "You better behave.

Or else..." Lord Castlebaum!

My heart is aflutter with your arrival.

Good to see you, too, Lady Buckley.

But I have a question for you.

Was it really you who sent me the scroll?

[Groans]

That churlish jester revealed my harmless ploy.

Can you forgive me?

So you didn't send the scroll.

But you do like me, right?

Of course.

Thou art the noble...

Alice.

Please.

I need to know.

Do you like Noah, the real me?

Noah, I thought...

I mean, we were just acting as our characters.

Oh.

I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.

I like you as a friend, but that's all.

It's okay.

You didn't do anything wrong, you were just playing the part.

I don't know what to say.

I do.

Anon, Lady Buckley.

Anon, Lord Castlebaum.

You okay?

Lord Castlebaum carries on.

The guy who plays him is a loser.

Noah, you are not a loser.

You're a really, really great guy.

I meant everything I said in the scroll.

You're nice and sweet.

And maybe even more talented than you think, which is saying a lot.

You know you don't have to say that stuff.

I mean it.

I know for a fact that there's a special girl out there just waiting for this handsome guy beside me to sweep her off her feet.

Ava, this is awkward.

Ah.

I'm sorry, but I think of you as a friend.

Okay, before you continue speaking...

Look, I get it.

I'm a wealthy lord.

And my calves are really popping in these tights right now.

And hey, I've been there.

Like, literally a minute ago.

But I promise you, you will get over me.

Mmm.

Noah.

I doth hope so.

That's the spirit.

See you soon, friend.

Shut up, hat.

Destiny!

You're here to save me.

We have to get you out of this thing.

Yay, you did it!

Did you not even try to escape?

I kind of just do what I'm told.

Probably a bad thing for a king.

Well, Destiny, you really made a mess, didn't you?

What are you talking about, Lou?

Do you really think it's a coincidence how well everyone's roles worked out?

Just look at your friends.

Matteo, who needed self confidence became a knight.

Gwen, who's working on her reading and writing became a bard.

Noah, the nobleman, actually got some respect for the week.

And Ava as the jester, well, that one was just for me.

And the camper who needed to learn leadership skills became a king.

So, the roles weren't random at all?

You made me a chambermaid on purpose?

Finn, can you believe this?

I'm super lost.

Catch me up later.

I guess you thought that since I spent most of my life winning pageants, I could use some humility.

But instead, you took Finn's chance to grow and made every decision for him.

I'm sorry, Finn.

It's okay.

Again, I have no idea what's going on.

[Trumpet blaring]

You like that?

That's the sound of consequences.

Ava, would you care to kick off the closing feast with a jest?

Absolutely not.

P.S.

I b*rned that hat.

Everyone, forgive her, she's recently had her heart broken.

By me.

Perhaps our bard would like to regale everyone with an epic tale?

I have an amazing story about Sir Matteo the brave, taming a dragon.

Not so brave.

And he's modest, too.

[Clears throat]

"Sir Matteo moved through the trees, stalking the beast with the greatest of ease.

Never once thinking to run..." Gwen, stop!

[Sighs]

I never tamed the dragon.

I'm friends with the dragon.

It's Mrs.

Kipling.

She came for a visit.

Sure.

That makes sense.

Mrs.

Kipling is Ravi's pet.

Finn and I lived with her last summer.

I'm just a coward who wanted you to think I was brave.

You're no coward, Matteo.

I know you're brave.

Even if you couldn't find a way to show it.

Maybe you did.

Standing up in front of the whole camp to tell a hard truth is very brave.

It is, isn't it?

Think there's a story there?

Mmm.

Sir Matteo, the brave, the honest.

Yeah, I can work with that.

Well, I guess we should kick off the closing feast.

Unless anyone else has a brave act to share or a royal mistake to fix.

Anyone?

At all.

Halt!

I have something to say.

It's the king!

Get him!

Again!

No.

All this is my fault.

I couldn't accept that anyone would make a better monarch than me.

But I ended up giving Finn terrible advice.

It wasn't just your advice.

I was also a lousy king.

And with great power comes great temptation and even greater cheese sweats.

I want you to take the crown.

You want me to be queen?

No.

Cool, cool.

What I'm saying is there shouldn't be a monarch.

It's too much power to have without earning it.

A very wise decision, former King Finn.

If anything, we should vote for monarch next year.

Yeah, you can't just introduce the concept of democracy into the Renaissance.

All in favor of voting?

All: Huzzah!

Well, this is gonna butterfly effect the snot out of the future.

Let's just wrap up Ren Week and bring out the feast.

About that, I got so busy serving the king and overthrowing the king, I sort of forgot to make the feast.

Hear ye, hear ye, I'm ordering pizza!

All: Pizza!

Yes, the queen of their hearts.