04x11 - Mo-Squito Mo Problems

[bunniefuu]

The beautiful night sky, the stars overhead, the midsummer breeze...

Nothing like the fake outdoors.

Paper marshmallows aren't as good as real ones.

Work with me, people.

It's either this or we go back outside and get eaten alive by the mosquito swarm.

Too late.

I think I win the "Most Delicious Camper" award.

Don't be ridiculous.

The "Most Delicious Camper" award goes to Layla.

Don't you guys use bug repellent?

It's useless.

This year, the mosquitos are bigger, faster, and resistant to anything you throw at them.

It's like they're super-charged and we're completely defenseless against their tiny-legged march toward world domination!

Supervillain mosquitos?

It's finally time for my roly-poly rebellion.

One of my duties as Camp Director is to make sure you all go home with as much blood as you came to camp with.

So until further notice, nobody goes outside after sunset, got it?

[Campers groan]

Does anybody have a better solution?

I hear your call to action, and I accept!

As the founding and only member of the Camp Kikiwaka Science Club, I will make it my pledge, scratch that...

I will make it my goal, scratch that...

I will make it my mission, scratch that...

Please stop saying "scratch that"!

Sorry.

I'll fix the mosquito problem!

You can count on it!

Now in other news, as you all know, I've been looking all summer for a new song leader.

That being said, we finally have a volunteer to audition.

Chef Jeff, come on out.

Hello, Kikiwaka!

Chef Jeff about to lay down some tasty licks!

Uh-oh.

♪ There's a hole in the bottom of the sea ♪ ♪ There's a hole in the bottom of the sea ♪ ♪ There's a hole there's a hole ♪ ♪ There's a hole in the bottom of the sea!

♪ Harmonica solo!

[Playing harmonica]

Wow!

Thank you, Chef Jeff, for...

whatever that was.

So did I get it?

If "it" is the job...

no.

If "it" is the hint...

also no.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪ Here you go, Stan.

The calamine lotion will help soothe the itching, but you should stay inside.

Last night, I saw the mosquitos take down a falcon.

The end days are upon us.

Welcome back, Noah!

How was your trip to LA?

So great!

Middle seat both ways.

Only way to fly.

What did you do with your parents?

Oh, you know, the usual.

We saw a movie, we went to the beach, they told me they were getting a divorce, we went to an amusement park, we...

Come again?

Oh, we went to an amusement park.

I threw up on the teacups!

No, I meant the thing before that.

Your parents are getting a divorce?

Yeah.

I'm sure it won't happen.

It's just something people say.

I don't think they do.

Listen, this weekend sounds like it was really hard.

We should talk about what you went through.

Well, it was my fault.

I'm the one who ate three funnel cakes before getting on those teacups.

Come on, you know what I'm talking about.

You'll feel better if you let it all out.

The teacup operator felt differently.

Noah...

Bye, Lou!

As the resident scientist here, everyone is counting on me.

You can be my guinea pig.

Aw!

That's the cutest kind of pig!

Prototype one: the Fly Paper Suit.

When you wear this, the mosquitos should get caught on the sticky paper when they try to bite you.

It turns out mosquitos are the only things that don't get caught on the paper.

Okay, okay, on to prototype two: the Ultrasonic Frequency Modulator.

I tuned this Bluetooth speaker to emit a high-pitched signal.

We can't hear it, but the mosquitos hate the sound.

[Coyotes barking and howling]

You know who loves the sound?

Coyotes!

Yeah, I thought that might be a side effect.

Do you find the coyotes manageable?

Subject appears agitated.

I have an idea.

[Sighs]

I guess anything's worth a try.

Mosquito swatter hands!

Okay, some things aren't worth a try.

Hey, guys.

Gwen, you were outside?

What about the mosquitos?

Oh, I whipped up an old bug repellent paste from my days in the woods.

[Coughs]

Wow, it smells like...

It smells.

It's stinky, but it really works.

That's what they say about me!

Except for the really works part.

Up top!

To myself.

♪ Will all the itching ever stop?

♪ ♪ Will all the mosquitos die?

♪ ♪ Will all the itching ever stop?

♪ ♪ Well, Matteo's gonna try ♪ ♪ Will all...

♪ [Gasps]

The next time you walk into the cabin, you should really slam the door.

It's the only polite thing to do.

Ava, I had no idea you sang so well!

You should try out to be the new song leader.

I would, but I can't.

I love singing, but I can never do it in front of people.

Why?

Because I get really nervous when I'm performing solo.

Huh?

I'm not a person who seeks out the spotlight?

I don't like a crowd of people staring at me?

I know those are all words, but they just don't make sense in that order.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Noah!

Is everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

I just love nachos.

Nachos make everything better.

Not that they need to be better, 'cause they're already fine.

Yay, nachos!

That's great, but, I think you forgot the chips there, buddy.

Huh.

I guess my mind was somewhere else.

You know, it's not good to bottle up your feelings, Noah.

Or your colon.

You want to talk about it?

Absolutely, Lou.

Let's put it in the books.

You know, circle back in a few.

Have your people call my people.

What does that even mean?

I don't know, it's just something people in Hollywood say when they don't want to talk.

See you.

You can't run from your problems, Noah!

Especially after you eat all that cheese!

Dairy always comes for you in the end.

Gwen!

Your stinky mosquito paste really works!

I told you it would!

This paste could end the mosquito problem!

People will be able to go outside after sunset again!

Well, I didn't think anyone would want to use it because it smells pretty strong, so I only made a little bit.

And it takes a while to gather the secret ingredient.

Hmm.

I bet if I used a holding solution to turn the rest of the paste into a spray, it would maximize the volume to cover everyone at camp.

And a fresh synthetic scent would mask that stinky stench!

Hey, everyone!

I have solved our mosquito problem, just like I promised you!

The night will be ours again!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Fine.

Matteo solved the mosquito problem.

Aw, man, my fly's down.

How is this gonna work?

What's going on?

Oh, hey, Gwen!

I didn't see you there.

There you go, Stan.

One quick spritz and the outdoors are yours.

I'm spraying everyone with my mosquito repellent before the campfire.

You're a genius, Matteo!

Thank you for giving me my life back!

"Genius" is probably too strong a word, but since everyone else is using it, who am I to argue?

But I'm one who made the...

Oh, one more squirt?

You missed the elbows!

They're my moneymakers.

Gwen, would you mind stepping aside?

These desperate itchy people need Matteo's Spray-o!

Trademark pending.

I've got people on it.

Welcome back to our first real campfire since skeeter-geddon!

Let's start by giving a round of applause to Matteo, who is the only reason we're able to be out here today.

Thank you, Matteo!

Oh, you guys.

While it's great to be recognized as the camp genius, I had a lot of help in making the spray.

None of us would be outside right now without the one who's always been there for me, the one I don't thank enough, my good friend, science!

I can't believe it.

I know!

I thought I knew all of Matteo's friends.

Who's this "science" guy?

Oh, hey, Gwen.

Uh, can you make me more of that paste?

I'm almost out.

No one can get enough of my spray!

[Ominously]

Oh, don't worry.

I'll make a lot more paste.

I don't know why you said it like that.

But thanks!

[Ominously]

Oh!

You are welcome.

See, again, that was a really odd way to say "you're welcome." And now, for a very special surprise!

Destiny tells me we have a secret songbird in our midst who would like to audition for the song leader position!

Ava, come on up!

What?

I've been told you have the voice of an angel!

Destiny, what have you done?

Angel seems like a bit of an oversell.

But let's do this!

How about that campfire classic, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?

Come on, Ava!

You can do it!

Okay, I would, but I don't really even know all the words to John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is 90% of the lyrics to John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

Come on, I'll count you in.

And a one...

And a two...

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer ♪ [Hiccups]

♪ That's ♪ [Hiccups]

♪ My name too ♪ [Hiccups]

♪ Whenever we go out ♪ ♪ The people always shout ♪ I cannot believe that you would [Hiccups]

embarrass me like this!

♪ There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪ All: ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ Ava!

Are you okay?

See?

This is why I don't [Hiccups]

sing in public!

This happens every time!

I'm so sorry.

I know the hiccupping makes me sound hilarious, but I'm really [Hiccups]

mad at you!

Lou, if I may...

One toot on that harmonica and I'll have you jingle-heimered.

Hey, Noah?

We missed you at..

Hoo-boy.

Again.

Oh, hey!

I was just re-arranging some furniture.

I thought the cabin needed a little feng shui.

Ah, yes.

Feng shui.

The traditional Chinese art of avoiding your problems.

See, things change all the time, and then, you just have to adjust.

So, why not just change them yourself before they can blindside you?

Are you talking about your family?

No!

Aren't you listening?

I'm talking about moving my furniture into my fame and money corner!

Keep up!

Noah...

Why do you keep trying to get me to talk about my family?

Because divorce is a big thing and I can tell you're hurting.

I really think you need someone to talk to.

Lou, are your parents divorced?

No.

They're not.

Then you really can't understand what I'm going through.

I don't want to talk to you, okay?

Ava, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know about your hiccups thing.

I was just trying to help.

And I'm sorry for putting you on the spot.

I know you're mad, but please talk to me!

[Gasps]

I wasn't giving you the silent treatment, okay?

I was trying to hold my breath in order to get rid of the...

[Hiccups]

Dang it!

Are you still mad?

Yes.

Yeah, but not at you.

I'm mad at myself.

I would love to be able to sing in front of people.

But I just hate all those eyes staring at me, looking like they're judging me.

They're not judging you.

And take it from a girl who's performed in front of a lot of actual judges.

One of them once marked me down for having too many teeth.

How many teeth do you have?

A normal amount!

I had the extras removed.

Extras?

Look, we're talking about you!

There's nothing more to say.

I'll never be able to sing in public like I sing in the shower.

Well, if you really want it, then you can't give up.

Ava, do you trust me?

Are you holding your breath again?

I'm thinking.

Gwen: Mosquitos Be Gwen!

Get your free Mosquitos Be Gwen here!

Like "be gone," but Be Gwen.

Okay, it's a reach, but I think they got it.

What are you doing?

Well, you said to make some more paste, so I did.

I made my original recipe and mixed in some of Destiny's moisturizer to get rid of the smell.

Wow!

This paste smells even better than the spray, and it gives my skin that kissed-by-milk feeling.

And remember, it's all-natural, all-organic, and unlike Matteo's Spray-o, has no chemical byproducts.

That's right.

I learned what a byproduct is.

But wait, why would you...

Excuse me, Matteo, but could you please step aside?

I've got a whole camp to grease up.

So...

be Gwen!

That's right.

I also learned how to drop the mic with a backhanded pun.

Big day for me.

Gwen, this is all really nice of you to want to help, but everyone already has my incredibly convenient spray.

Your spray?

Well, yeah.

I invented it.

Really?

What's in your mosquito spray, Matteo?

Well, um...

Okay, so you came up with the paste ingredients, but I made it usable with science.

Please, tell me more about science.

I don't wanna.

Is it where you take an idea, try a bunch of things to see what works, and make adjustments until you can prove it does?

Exactly.

You get it.

Yeah, I do.

Because that's what I did to come up with my mosquito paste.

I was only trying to help.

And I helped, too.

But you didn't give me any credit.

You know, you're not the only smart person around here.

And right now, you're not being a very smart friend.

Hey, Noah.

Lou, I told you...

I know.

I know.

You don't want to talk to me about your parents' divorce.

Because you're right, I don't really know what you're going through, but I know someone who does.

Finn?

Twist, right?

I'll leave you two to talk.

Or not, whatever you want.

But please want to talk.

[Door closes]

My parents are divorced, too.

You never told me that.

It happened last year.

I didn't want to talk about it for a long time.

I was embarrassed.

I feel embarrassed too.

And a lot of other feelings I just can't figure out yet.

At first, I was confused.

Then I was angry.

Then I only wanted to eat broccoli.

That's when I knew I hit rock bottom.

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

The point is, I had a lot of feelings.

And when I finally started talking about them, with my family, and some good friends...

I felt better.

Less alone.

Because I wasn't, and neither are you.

Is it all going to be okay?

It's going to be hard at first, but it'll get better.

Plus, you get two Christmases!

And sometimes two birthdays!

Although, that means you age twice as fast.

Feel any better?

Well, not yet.

But...

definitely less alone.

If you ever want to talk, I'm here.

Thanks, buddy.

That helps.

So, tell me more about this two Christmas thing.

See, the trick is two separate lists with little to no overlap.

I like separating my lists into toys and books.

I'm kidding, it's toys and other toys.

Okay, everyone...

Hey, Lou.

Before we start, can I make an announcement?

Announcements are kind of my thing, but I guess so.

This is how my power unravels.

I just want to say that none of us would be outside right now if it weren't for my good friend...

We know, we know.

Your good friend "science." Does everyone know this "science" guy but me?

I was going to say my good friend Gwen.

Gwen made the paste that was in my mosquito spray.

I should have publicly given her credit for solving the mosquito crisis, but instead, I took all of it because I loved basking in the sweet nectar of your adulation.

Which I don't get a lot of, because I say things like that.

I'm sorry, Gwen.

Thanks, Matteo.

You're the smartest person I know, and I think you should tell us how you made the mosquito paste.

It really saved us all this week.

Let's hear it for Gwen!

Yes, now that anyone and everyone's just making announcements, stand up, Gwen!

Tell us how you did it!

Well, at first I tried using lemongrass and eucalyptus, which are natural repellents.

But neither of them were strong enough.

And then, I had my "Eurek" moment.

Don't you mean your "Eureka!" moment?

No.

I accidentally stepped in a cow patty and went, "You-reek, Gwen!" That's when I realized I had found my secret ingredient.

You mean...

[Sniffing]

That there's...

That's right!

The secret ingredient to my mosquito paste is cow manure.

[All retching]

First my parents tell me they're getting divorced, and now I'm covered in cow poop.

This has been a week!

Hey, Lou, before the poop-laced repellent wears off and the mosquitos take back the night, can we have another song leader audition?

Yeah, sure.

But who is it?

Me, again.

I've been working on a sing-a-long song that I'd like to try.

I get it, it's weird, don't judge me.

Also, this one goes out to Destiny...

Who never has.

♪ Sometimes the dock looks kinda high ♪ ♪ And you're super scared to jump ♪ ♪ Sometimes you fail and it makes you feel ♪ ♪ Like you're a moose's rump ♪ ♪ When tetherballs don't swing your way ♪ ♪ Or you're afraid to sing ♪ ♪ Just find yourself a friend, and then ♪ ♪ You can weather anything ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh looks like we're out of the woods now ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka's right 'round the bend ♪ ♪ Looks like we're out of the woods now ♪ ♪ And I think I see a friend ♪ ♪ That turn was wrong and the night was long ♪ ♪ I thought it would never end ♪ ♪ But I think I'm out of the woods now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I think I see my friends ♪ Everyone!

All: ♪ Looks like we're out of the woods now ♪ ♪ Kikiwaka's right 'round the bend ♪ ♪ Looks like we're out of the woods now ♪ ♪ And I think I see a friend ♪ ♪ That turn was wrong and the night was long ♪ ♪ Thought it would never end ♪ ♪ But I think I'm out of the woods now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I think I see my friends ♪ ♪ Yeah, I think I'm out of the woods now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I think I see my friends ♪ That was great, Ava!

Can't wait to see what song you sing for us tomorrow!

Wait.

I have to do this every night?

Congratulations, song leader!

Do Your Ears Hang Low is a personal favorite.

Thanks for joining the Kikiwaka Science Club, Gwen.

It was getting lonely being the only member, and roll call was getting me weird looks.

I'm already having fun.

And I think these new candles we made from the bug paste are going to work.

And make everyone forget about our poop products.

Hey, guys, can you fix this speaker?

I want to play music for tonight's sing-a-long, but I turned it on and I can't hear anything.

Ava, how long has that thing been on?

Fifteen, 20 minutes?

Why?

[Coyotes howling in distance]

The coyotes are back!

Save yourselves!

That's why!

Run!