04x07 - Hand

[bunniefuu]

What are you doing this weekend ? Nothing. What're you doing ?

You, wanna hangout ? Sure, what do you wanna do ?

Can I speak to your manager ? Definitely.

I'm going to place you on a brief hold.

Hold music is playing.

Grandma, you can't say that.

That's r*cist. That's always been r*cist.

Hello. This is Roger Relay Services.

You're using a sign language interpreter. Is this Becca ?

Hi Becca, this is Kylie, we met the other night at the party, remember ?

Oh, hi, Kylie, how are you ?

It was really great to meet you. You seem like a really creative person, someone that would be a great fit for the Plethora community.

I wanted to help get you started.

Thanks, but it's not a good time financially.

I don't want to waste your time.

Just to let you know a little secret, there will never be a 'good time.'

Do you like your job ? Not really.

Do you feel like they pay enough ? No way.

That's how I felt. I felt the same way.

Do you feel undervalued ? Under-appreciated ?

Watching all the other people succeed around you ?

So tell him that uh I want to rule out Epstein-Barr and Mono before even saying the words Chronic Fatigue because...

Just talk to me like I'm here. Oh right, uh well...

When I first started in this Plethora business I felt the same.

I doubted myself. Can I do this myself ? But you know what ?

I was not alone. Plethora is made up of people who are like minded, like you and me, and they want to succeed.

f*ckers.

No amount of money in the world is worth our family being separated...

That's from my journal. That's my private property.

Your journal was in my house. It was there, you wanted me to read it.

You can't read my stuff.

Pip, he walked in and saw you making out with Harry.

What the f*ck were you thinking ? He's only five !

You can make extra money. I made 10,000 last month. Plus perks.

Oh, perks ? Yes !

This year I qualified for a car and a Plethora luxurious vacation...

Wait, hold on, the interpreter has a question. I'm sorry.

Interpreter clarification. Do you mean, back up...

A vacation swimming with dolphins ?

Wow.

Sorry. Interpreter's back.

Yes, it was a luxurious vacation where I was swimming with dolphins.

HIGH MAINTENANCE Here's what I'll do. I'll send you an overnight sample pack today and you'll receive it tomorrow !

And then you can sit with the products overnight and we'll follow up with the next steps. How does that sounds ?

Maybe next time I see you.

Why don't I just send you a box of one of these products tomorrow ?

Please, don't send me a box. Show some sisterly support !

Jordan, because you're a f*cking mess.

I'm so excited to show you ! Okay. You're gonna love this !

I'm at the edge of my seat, man.

I'm sorry it's taken so long. The paint took a week to dry and...

Fomo. Fomo, look ! It's like looking in a mirror.

Wow, man...

I was worried about the eye, but I think it works.

What do you think ?

What, do you like it ?

Well, that's okay. Cool.

I mean I...

No, it's cool. Cool, cool. Cool !

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay... Okay, okay.

No, you don't have to like it... or anything.

Alright, I'm gonna write one for antihistamine, twice a day.

I'll write one for a nasal spray, just in case the sneezing continues.

Listen, man- uh thank you for... that, and... take this. Here. Just take it.

You don't have to like it. No, I do, man.

I was experimenting with you know different stylistic...

It doesn't really look like her.

It's the feeling of her. It's, you know, it was...

What's going on ?

Come in !

Hey !

Do you want marijuana ?

Want ! Want !

Want. Okay. Thank you.

No, you just said f*ck you. Thank you !

Would you like something to eat ? Do I... I have edibles, yeah.

No, no, do you want something to eat.

Yeah ? I have the perfect thing. This bar.

Plethora has changed my life. You have to tell me what you think.

Yeah. I got your text. Maybe I'll try it later. I'm not hungry right now.

I'll try it and let you know what I think.

Okay, what can I do you for ?

I'm pretty stressed. I'm not sleeping.

I have like, you know, muscle pain here, here...

Well I've got a CBD balm. Everyone's got this, but so do I.

That's 30, and 60 for the eighth. Ouch, alright, I'll take both.

Okay.

Having a party ?

Sort of, not really. It's not very crowded yet.

Hold on, maybe that is my first customer.

Hello ? UPS. I got a package for you.

Oh, send it up.

What do you think ? It's good, right ?

Chewy...

It's chewy... it's chewy.

Yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's cool. It looks good.

As if the nutritional benefits weren't alone good enough, I mean the perks... the perks ! Yup.

I have my eye on this Mediterranean cruise and I think I'll get it.

Once I hit all the targets...

I'll be going soon.

This is not going to be approved. The icing is a little...

It needs to be over the line. Do you mind doing it again ?

Don't throw it until the end of the sh**t.

What is it, someone's first day ?

Hey ! Martha says the CBD Christmas cookies don't look delicious.

And she doesn't want the spatchcock turkey how-to anymore.

She wants to do the perfect leftover turkey sandwich as a 'Good Thing.'

Okay ? Make it nice or make it twice.

Good. Good, good.

Okay, it's getting there, just enough mess, perfectly imperfect !

I'd love to get going on this. I think it needs more mess.

It just needs to look more real !

Where's Alexi ? Where's Alexi ?

Hi. It looks great.

But can we get more drama on the left side of the sandwich ?

More big crumbs. Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah... On the left side there.

And could we swap out that weird crumb for one that's more poetic ?

No, to the left. The left, the left.

The left. Our left. No, no, not that one.

The one behind it. That one ? That big one ? Yup.

That's it. Yeah. That's great. Okay. Bingo.

Maybe it was better with more crumbs.

Excuse me, you know what, now the ice cream's melting, so...

Hey, you know what, I'll eat it. If that's okay with everyone...

Can we nix that napkin right there ? The flowing linen is just...

Yeah, it's a little much.

Let's get a sh*t off, please !

Hi, Martha. It's going good, yeah. Real great.

Turkey sandwich ? How do the hands look ?

Would you really accept a sandwich from hands that look like that ?

They're kinda unfriendly. Yeah, it looks like a claw.

You should switch them out. We can do that.

Just need a new set of hands...

Who's that ? Oh, Jordan, she's our...

Hey, Jordan ! Yeah, do you like her hands ?

Yeah, her hands are nice.

They look more normal, they're not so thin.

Would you mind jumping in for this photoshoot ?

Martha loves your hands. Me ? Oh, wow. Thank you.

What's going on ?

I'm the interpreter so you have to... You could ask him...

Get some makeup and we'll... They want to use my hands.

Yes. Yes. Definitely.

Oh my gosh, she's my interpreter. Use her if you want. Sure.

Hurry, we want this sh*t done. It'll be super fast.

Alright, I'll do it. Great, her hands are good.

Otherwise I think I would take a few of those crumbs off the plate.

Yeah. Can we get some crumbs off the plate ?

I'm just nervous. I don't want someone to report me.

You have to. It's f*cking Martha Stewart.

I'll make sure no one reports you everyone here knows the deal.

It's awkward for me.

They will pay you well, I'm sure.

You have a good point.

This feels so good, you have no idea. Oh my god.

I could sit here all day. Have you heard of Plethora ?

They have such great moisturizers.

Oh, these are the leftovers. It's the best part.

We always have a party the next day.

With all your real friends.

Alright, are we ready ? Jordan ? We're ready for you. Great.

You want to look natural when you're folding. You're folding.

This is my first time. Relax.

Are you ready ? Take a breath...

Hold it there. 3, 2, 1...

Very pretty.

What do you think ? Truly delicious.

Now this should have been a cover. Why didn't we sh**t these ?

Oh well... We can, yeah. Okay.

No hard feelings ? Of course. It's all good.

I hope it helps. Let me know !

Bye, Jessie. Thank you.

Or Jasmine...

Hi, Martha ! Excuse me, thanks.

I just wanted to say thank you. You are...

Jordan, the interpreter. Yes, the hands. Thank you very...

No. I really don't want take up any of your time... I know you're busy.

I've recently had a change in my life and it's just... been incredible.

Have you heard of the company Plethora ?

It's this incredible, incredible company. It's changed my life.

It's like they have these beautiful supplements, Endura skincare and Enthralla...

Just the philosophy and everything. Obviously, you don't need it

'cause you have such... Your skin is just so beautiful.

What do you use ? It's so creamy.

So anyway I just, I know you have a lot going on, on your plate and you're overqualified to be a sales rep...

Give me your card, I'll...

You're Martha Stewart and everything, but I have these supplements.

Oh, it's okay. I'm okay. Are you sure ?

Good luck ! Thanks so much.

We can form a partnership even, if you're interested.

Or not, maybe.

What did you just do ?

What ? What ?

ELEVATOR OUT OF SERVICE sh*t...

Hello ! Hey ! Birdy !

How was your day ? Glad to be home, I'll say that.

Hi ! Hey.

What's that ? This ? Oh, it's a pizza cutter.

We already got one of those. But this one is way cuter.

And it's sharp. Ours was getting dull.

Oh, okay. Alright.

I need to lie down. Okay.

Let me help. Take the cane. You don't need your cane ?

No. It's close, thanks.

No, I know, I know, I really liked her too, but our main objective now is to get him out of office and every vote counts.

Do you know he still is at 80 percent approval rating with the republicans ?

It really makes a difference, we have to get everyone to get out and vote.

And if you need... Let me help you.

No, I'm okay. Thank you. I'm good, I appreciate it.

Be careful. Have your snack.

No, excuse me, sir. Yes. Yes, I'm back.

And listen, to your point, there is no doubt that our voting system is fragile, but it's still our best sh*t on getting someone into office who will legislate to protect against foreign meddling.

Well, you know Russia is gonna do it again. Well, he said so.

And I don't think you're wrong, it's very scary.

But to not show up to the polls is letting them win without a fight.

And we've got to fight. Birdy, let me help you !

Hey, Birdy ! Got some pretty fancy toothbrush in there.

Yeah ? Yeah.

Well, you know, we still have some specialist bills to pay.

Of course I know we still have bills.

So... I'm just saying, fancy toothbrushes...

I'm saying, I'm not left-handed. Okay. Alright.

Anymore uh, sh*t I can step in before I strap in ?

No. Okay... okay.

Good evening, Kali. Oh, wait, wait, before I forget.

Just one. An invitation. Bella's birthday party, this Saturday.

Super low key, up at our place, just some friends, and couple people from the building.

We'd love to have you. And Ellen, too, if she's up for it.

How she doing ? She's doing really well.

I'm glad. Thank you for keeping us updated, you are such a rock.

Anyway, no pressure. We'd love to have you. Bella especially.

Can't let my Bella down. You're so sweet.

Have a good night ! Okay, goodnight !

You know, I could just go to this party alone.

I'm not gonna back out now.

But maybe we could go just for a little while.

Yeah, maybe just an hour or something.

They're cute, right ? Works pretty well.

Dammit.

You want me to scare you ? No, I'm okay.

Why don't you get him a spoonful of peanut butter ?

Do we have any peanut butter ? I love peanut butter.

I don't know if it'll work though. Or you can take a deep breath in.

And hold it until you can't any longer.

And then take in another deep breath after that.

And hold it. And exhale.

I think that work...

I'm gonna pass out. Try that.

These cookies are strong, right ? What's with the edibles, Birdy ?

I'm not going to that party sober. What party ?

A tenant in the building I work is having a birthday for her kid Bella.

Ugh. Measles City ! I know.

But she also gave us 500 dollars to the GoFundMe, so...

I don't want to know how much people gave !

They just care. It's okay.

We'll just go for an hour. No big deal. Alright ?

I'm so sorry, I was totally intending on giving to that.

No. Please. It's totally fine.

Is it still going ? No, we met our goals.

And you're okay ? I'm doing great. Thank you.

You know what, weed's on me tonight.

I fund you. We will pay.

Put your f*cking money away.

It's called Cameo. They got everyone, look.

They have um Stormy Daniels, they have Wesley Snipes. Ice T.

I had the Night King from Game of Thrones give Ellen a get-well message, right ?

She hated it.

Oh sh*t, is that Snoop Dogg ?

Someone should pay Snoop Dogg to tell people to vote.

Yeah ! That's a good idea.

Yo, my favorite Goonies !

No, stop it. No, no, it's really funny.

It wasn't bad.

You can tell me, why can't we go on the roof ?

I'm on the ground. I don't deal with that up top.

Hey. Hey, blue dog. Hey, you wanna leave ?

Before you go, let's take a picture with Bella.

Come on !

Hey, hey, Bella, Bella ! Hey, Bella !

K, smile, baby, smile.

Smile !

Are you okay ? Are you okay, sweetie ?

She's fine. Are you okay ?

Yes. Thank you so much. I'm glad she's okay.

I'm fine.

Just checked on Bella, she's gonna be fine, too.

Let's put some ice. This will help. Just press it to your nose.

Let me get your glasses. Oh... thank you.

That's pretty. Where'd you get that bracelet ?

This ? I don't know. I can't remember.

I just ordered one like that online.

Oh my god, it was exactly like this.

I got it at a thrift store, somewhere on Fulton, I think.

It was custom.

That's odd...

Remember I asked you about a package and you said it never came ?

Like, a couple of weeks ago, do you remember that ?

Yeah... K.

Did you take my package and give it to her ?

No ! No. No, no, no, no, absolutely not.

That's my bracelet.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand how she...

No, hold onto that !

Here. What ?

Let's go ! Birdy !

I don't understand.

Couple of steps. Okay. I got your cane, I got your cane.

What the f*ck was that ? Was that her bracelet ?

Yes.

What do you mean, yes ? How'd you get it ?

I took a package from the mailroom.

You stole her package ? And then you wore it here. You wore it here.

I forgot... Oh you forgot ?

What do you mean you forgot ? That's my f*cking job.

It's the only one I took from here. Oh my god ! Oh my god.

All those packages, all that stuff... All that stuff, Ellen !

Other buildings. Other stoops... You're stealing ?!

Amazon has more money than God. They'll just send things again.

What are you talking about ?!

What are you doing ? I'm calling a Lyft.

No. I mean what the f*ck is going on with you ?

Did you set up a GoFundMe to get laid ?

Excuse me ? Nothing.

No, you're f*cking right nothing. That's ridiculous, Ellen.

No. No ! You know what's ridiculous ?

Having a stroke and cancer on your friends' dime.

I don't know why this is such a big deal. They care about us.

They know we need help. We have bills !

I've got bills. They're my bills.

Seriously ? Seriously.

f*ck you.

Seriously. f*ck you.

f*ck you.

Jesus Christ ! I cannot believe you did this.

Oh, god...

What is taking him so long ? Six minutes.

Let's not do this in front of my building. Let's go down !

Hurry up ! There's just so fast I can go.

I can't believe you did this.

Here, take your cane. Take your cane. I'm so f*cking furious.

Oh my gosh... It's been so long since you got mad with me.

Oh, it's amazing.

Yeah, it's nice to have you angry with me again.

Do you know that it's been ages ?

Like a regular couple, being mad at each other and having things...

It's like, it's so nice. Finally. Like, hello !

Stop... Come on ! Come on...

This is real, now... Yeah, this is real. This is me.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

What'd you get me for Christmas ?

None of your f*cking business.

You're f*cking crazy.