04x08 - Solo

[bunniefuu]

♪ I just came alive completely ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪ Aah!

♪ I just lost my mind so sweetly... ♪

Aah!

Uh-oh!

Not the table!

Oh no!

Oh God. This just got sad very quick.

And then, I-I'm not sure how it's gonna end, though.

Wow, man. Yay!

Thank you, thank you.

So, that was sativa, right?

Yeah. I mean, if you're flipping tables, you might want an indica.

Just saying. Nah. I got like 15 puppets to bang out by the end of the month.

All right. Say no more. I'll just have sativa.

All right, cool. But can he pick it?

Sure. That's just more fun.

Yeah, of course it is. Let me get...

Everything's better with a puppet.

What's this guy's deal? This guy is a psychiatrist shaman... oop, sorry... in, like, a post-apocalyptic New York, and he's in a symbiotic relationship with a demon that lives in his basement, and, uh, he takes the tear-soaked tissues of his patients and he feeds them to the demon.

And so the demon is gonna help him get elected to be mayor of the city, but it's... it's complicated.

He's a psychiatrist, basically.

You know, if you're a demon who eats tears, that's a great job.

Yeah, right? Yeah.

All right. We're good, we're good, we're good. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. I'm sorry, that was rude. I got into it.

No, it's all right. Hang there.

It's 140. Right. Sorry about that.

Dude, don't be sorry. One second.

One second.

One-forty... I'm sorry, it's all kind of...

It's okay. It's just money. All right, man.

One, two, three, four...

Here we go, man. Thank you very much. Thank you.

All right. Good luck with the demon.

I will need it!

Bless you.

Did you sneeze? No, I thought that was you.

No, I didn't...

You got thin walls? I never heard anything before.

Well, at least your neighbors are quiet.

See ya. See ya.

Hmm...

Oh f*ck.

I'm gonna f*ck you right now. You're gonna f*ck me?

Yeah, I'm gonna f*ck you good, buddy. Ready? Yeah, I'm gonna f*ck you too.

Gotcha, bitch! Who's getting f*cked?

Bigger neck hole!

Get... right... in!

Thrust! Thrust!

Achoo! Ha-ha!

Your mother is a whore!

You should go ahead and get the separation surgery.

There, see honey?

The doctor thinks it's a good idea.

So, we are having the surgery.

But, baby, I could die.

We could die.

We had let you go, Ghost Baby.

Ah, yes. You should eat more pineapple, demon.

Last bets!

You were above it all, weren't you?

The great puppeteer, and now look at you.

You're f*cking disgusting!

Shall I lick you, my queen?

It's all your fault!

You're...

f*ck. God damn it!

Where are my blacks? Where are my blacks? Where...

Yo! Uh! Yo...

Don't... There's no talking! I said no talking!

How you took my hand and put it inside you!

Why did you take my hand and put it inside you?

I don't know.

I don't know why your hand is inside me.

♪ And nothing I do is good enough for you ♪

♪ I crucify myself ♪

♪ Every day ♪ Why? ♪ I crucify myself ♪

♪ And my heart is sick of being in chains ♪

Bless you!

Let's stay in bed all day.

Oh, I'd love to. I have so much sh*t I gotta do.

But it's Sunday.

I got all these boxes to unpack, and I meant to get all my sh*t done, but I ended up going to that movie last night.

Where'd you see the movie?

BAM.

You impressed?

Well, I wasn't gonna... say anything.

Okay, so now, you gotta say something.

Well, it's just...

I know that whatever we're doing is...

I don't even know what to call it, and you're healing from Christof or whatever, but did you go alone?

Uh, I went with someone.

I know.

A friend saw you there with someone and texted me.

Wow.

That's a shitty friend.

So, is this the same person you went on a date with that you said you didn't even like?

No, it's a different one.

I'm sorry. That must've been... that must've sucked for you.

Doesn't feel great.

Can I ask you something?

Sure. I mean, do you even like me, or do you just like not being alone? What?

What are you talking about?

I'm crazy about you.

Oh yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Babe.

Oh sh*t. I should get that.

Finish the picture.

Hey, is that, uh, Halloween party still going on this weekend?

It's Christof, and if you have my email, I'll get back to you faster. Hey, Christof.

Christ-off.

It's AJ.

I know we're not supposed to be talking or whatever.

I don't know if you got my texts, but...

I had a weird idea.

Uh... it's a movie called Fisted, where a woman gets fisted.

It's kind of like 40-Year-Old Virgin but with fisting.

Anyway, I know it's pretty dumb. I thought you'd appreciate it.

Um, I'm around tonight if you wanna talk or not.

Everything's fine. I'm fine. I just... just wanted to hear your voice.

Okay, bye.

Hey, can I get a regular slice and a Diet Coke? Thanks.

You ready for this? I am, I'm hungry!

Isn't that beautiful? Mm-hmm.

Now, see, you're letting that fall... Mm!

Sorry. The cheese is going everywhere.

It's fine now. It's good. Thank you. Thank you.

It's pretty good. You surprised?

Oh, yeah. Well, while you go there, I'll try not to finish your pizza. _

Thanks.

Hot...

Hot.

Oh God.

_

Hey, dummy, over here! Hey!

Hey!

So weird! I was just thinking about you!

My therapist says I'm doing the work, but it is really hard work.

Yeah, you seem much more grounded.

In our relationship, I used the excuse, "I don't think AJ thinks I'm enough", but really, I don't think I'm enough.

It was never really you.

I was just afraid to be alone and take responsibility for myself.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The way I treated you, Landon...

... it wasn't right. No.

No, it wasn't.

And you didn't deserve it.

No, but... you see me.

You've seen me and... that was really special.

Well... Oh God.

Okay, okay.

Scissor in.

One of these?

I've missed you, AJ.

I've missed you, too.

I love you so much.

I'm just gonna keep hurting you. You don't...

You don't have to.

Just... stay with me.

What could be better than this?

I can't. Please.

Please.

Please... It's not you, it's not you, it's not you.

I'm so f*cked up.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

f*ck.

No... No.

God.

_

I can't believe you didn't win. I know.

We were robbed. They were f*ckin' fascists, man.

Who ended up winning? Some dog dressed as a rat.

What? Like a New York City rat. Stupid.

Anyway, I think there was something up with the judges.

They were trying to play it safe.

I mean, people were getting a little intense this year. Yeah?

I saw a Blasey Ford, Kavanaugh.

See, now that's brilliant, man, that's edgy.

It's raw, man. It's raw.

Yeah. Have you got any vapes?

You still vaping, man? Well, yeah, I know.

Toxic.

Oh hey! Hey!

Timberlake! Yes.

The Dude! This is my associate, Walter Sobchak.

He does not roll on Shabbos.

Yes, I love that for you guys. That's a good costume.

Thank you. Nice marmot.

Uh, Colin, I thought you weren't gonna do that.

Oops, I did it again.

He's been doing this for like 20 minutes.

Oh. Breakdown Britney.

What? No, he's Eleven from Stranger Things.

Where's your waffle? Get your waffle. Oh!

You better work, bitch. Good night, many shades of Britney.

And then their numerologist told them that I'm a ghost.

Well, that's f*cking interesting, man.

Anyway...

So, what can I get ya?

I don't know. Something on the upswing.

Great. You got a jar?

I do. Cool.

I do, I do. Here.

Anyway, this place is a transition.

Cool. My roommates... I don't like to judge, but they're a little basic for my taste, you know?

That's judging. It is judging.

Yeah. Well, there, I did it.

So, I guess I gotta look for a studio.

Um, people keep telling me I need to live alone.

Yeah. Yep. You live alone?

You single? Uh, yeah.

Trying to be. Huh. You celibate?

Uh... I know, right? Good stuff.

Not actively, but not incel.

Hmm. Yeah.

Do you ever... Do you ever get lonely?

Uh, I mean, yeah, but I... I'm trying... to think of it not like loneliness.

It's more like, uh, solitude, you know?

Yeah, solitude. I like that. Thanks.

Perfect. Yeah.

I'm gonna turn that off. Yeah. Yeah.

Just enjoy some quality HBO programming.

Okay. That's what Sunday nights are for.

Oh f*ck.

No, Ruby! What? What did Ashley do?

What do you mean? Last night by the pool?

I don't think I've ever seen anyone that drunk.

Wait, was I not there?

Do you, uh, do you guys wanna get Stoney McStonerson?

I gotta work tomorrow.

Hard pass.

Would you mind doing that outside?

Yeah. Sorry.

Is it out? It's out. I...

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah.

Aah!

Which, which one?

All of them.

I don't even like roses.

Well, what flower would you have instead?

Daisies. Oh.

They don't have thorns.

_

The f*ck?

No. No. _

_

_

AJ? What are you doing here?

Oh. I'm sorry. What's your name again?

Cheyenne. Cheyenne! That's right. Sorry.

Um, Fran texted me.

Huh. Okay, well, she's not answering.

Should we be worried?

I don't know. You're the assistant.

Look, I haven't seen Fran in forever.

I know. She told me.

So, she told you the whole story?

Just her side of it.

You know, she's not a very reliable narrator.

No sh*t.

What are you, Trinity from The Matrix?

This isn't a costume.

Hello? It's Cheyenne.

And AJ. You might as well open the door.

We're not going anywhere.

We'll stand here all night.

No, what? No.

What the f*ck are you two doing here? You texted us.

You're insane.

I literally would never do that.

You sent your location.

Fran, remember you said you didn't want to drink on Ambien?

Uh, whatever, Cheyenne. Don't even talk to me, okay?

Let's get you into bed. I got this.

Actually... you're fired.

I fire you. Okay, you know what?

We just want to make sure you're okay.

Well, I was fine before you woke me up.

Huh? You know what? What?

You need to stop being obsessed with me.

My God. It's pathetic.

Bye, butch. See you, peach.

Okay, that's just another Sunday night.

She won't even remember.

Maybe now's the time to take her up on it.

That's a gift.

You leave that psycho in the rearview.

She's not a psycho. She's a socio.

I'm pretty sure you can be both.

Where you coming from? You want a ride back?

Sure.

Cool, right? Yeah.

It's a great way to get rid of those Sunday blues.

I call them Sunday scaries, but, yes.

Wow, you're really leaning into that Addams Family thing, aren't you?

Beware of manholes. Oh God.

My whole life, dear, my whole life.

Share the road.

Queers first!

Congrats on getting fired!

Thanks.

Guess I don't have to work tomorrow.

Yes.

Oh sh*t. Here it is! Hmm?

If you rapidly tap on the top or side button five times, then your iPhone alerts your emergency contact with a text message and your location.

Damn! I wonder who's in mine? That's crazy.

Where is it? Um, try settings. Go to settings.

Oh sh*t.

Christof, Donny, and my mom?

God.

That is a sad, sad time capsule.

What about you, who's in yours?

No one.

Put someone in there!

What if there's an actual emergency? I'll call 911.

Who's keeping tabs on you? I do.

I don't need anyone. That's depressing.

I mean, it was, but I was, like, clinically depressed.

I started doing IV treatments with a doctor before it was cool... Hmm.

... and then he gave me this nasal spray to maintain between treatments.

Maintain what?

Good habits. It allows the dendrites in my brain to grow and expand, increases blood flow to the brain.

What is that, Afrin?

Uh, uh, no. It's, uh...

It's ketamine.

Horse tranquilizer. It's also a super strong anti-inflammatory. Special K.

I knows all about that brain swell stuff.

Why do you think people been getting holes drilled in their skulls since the Neolithic, okay?

So's the brain-blood volume gets free flow. Whoa, okay. Time-out.

Question, professor. Uh, wouldn't a hole in your head k*ll you?

No, no, no.

Ancient technology, you wise guy.

Why do you think all those monks, they got bald spots?

Hippocampus used it in the classics.

Shiva had a hole. Tibetans had holes.

A lot of holes. I knew this keyboard guy in Bay Ridge, right?

Had a hole in his head, cured his OCD.

He's still playing keys at that Huey Lewis tribute.

Things are looking up for him.

You ever tried it?

I ain't got no mental problems. I'm too busy for that.

I keep busy, I'm good.

Huey Lewis.

Should we just go back to my place? You'll be fine.

You're not taking enough to get stuck in a K-hole.

Here we go.

This album's great.

It's all about the music.

And if you don't feel it, we can try again in 20 minutes. Hmm.

I just did two.

What? When?

Just now. You just saw me.

No, I...

So, you, you did three?

Did I f*ck this up?

You'll be fine. Just... go with it.

Okay. I don't even...

How do I know it's...

Ah...

Oh!

f*cking-A, man!

You get to set the reality.

That rug really tied the room together, man.

Hey! It's all you from here, dude.

No... Stay away.

No. I get it!

Yeah!

Oh... sh*t.

Mmm...

Aah!

Holy sh*t.

Oh wow...

Welcome back. That was absurd!

Yeah, that's how I felt too.

Ooh...

This is absurd.

I like you a lot.

I think we should go now.

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Bye-bye.

Come on. Come on. Hmm? Hey!

Oh, I can't.

You okay? Yes!

Yes.

Does this feel good?

Beep-bop! Beep-bop!

We are robots! Ah!

Yes!

You okay?

It's just another Sunday night.

Thanks for rolling with it.

I felt really safe with you.

You don't even know me.

Yeah, but I felt it.

I b*rned my mouth on pizza. I don't have herpes.

_

We regret to inform you that American flight 1487 is canceled.

We'll go to my place.

We'll do a little Hanukkah thing.

We'll make latkes.

Oh, I like this plan. I like it "a latke".

Why can't we stay in the hotel? I pay rent here.

At least I can meet some of your friends.

I don't know these people!

Merry Christmas.

We're all just trying to maintain.

And we each got our own way of doing it.

I'mma need you to be real quiet, ladies.

I'm freezing! Shh!