02x03 - The Who of You

[bunniefuu]

-Harry Pine. Reading for the role of Officer Chesterfield.

And, um, I can... I can shave the beard, of course.

You know, if this progresses. I just... I grow it between roles, so...

-"Jim, there's someone in your office."

-Hey, Jon! Hey, it's really good to be reading for you again, Jon.

-I'm sorry, do we know each other?

-Yes. Uh, you-you-you cast me in Macbeth. It was a few years back. Off-Broadway at the Little Branch.

-Sorry, I-I don't remember that. But it's nice to see you again.

-Uh... I'd really like to read for the Steve role.

-That's the lead, and we called you in for...

-Yes, I-I know that.

-I'm sorry, I-I don't have all day here. Are you gonna read for Chesterfield or not?

-Yeah.

-Can you re-slate? We need these auditions clean. Okay, so who are you?

-How'd it go, Harry?

-It, uh... It went kind of badly. You know, Jon, he's-he's... He just doesn't cast me anymore.

-Oh, babe, I'm sorry.

-Don't be sorry.

-What?

-I mean, you know what, and, honestly, I don't even know why I'm debasing myself for this kind of work.

-It's a really popular show, Harry.

-It's a horrible show. The show sucks. And what-what is that supposed to mean, anyway?

-It's not supposed to mean anythi... Damn it. It's still on outside. I guess we should call the landlord.

Never mind. I will do it. Hi, Sam. It's Morena. Yeah, the-the light...

-It's the power bill. I didn't pay it.

-Um, actually, Sam, never mind. Uh, sorry to bug you. Thank you anyways. M... Okay.

What did you think was gonna happen, Harry? You can't just expect things to be...

-I didn't think they would just turn it off, okay? Morena. Hey. Hey. Hey.

I know that things are not the way that they should be right now, but I'm...

I'm working... Hey, look at me. I'm working on it, okay? Give me time. I have a plan. Okay?

-You're gonna let me in on your plan? Because it would be nice to feel like we're working on a solution together.

-Okay. Okay. This-this is about money. You pay bills with money,

and you're mad because I don't have enough of it. That's what this is.

-No, it's about work! Careers take work. Relationships take work.

You-you act like you're just entitled to money and people and pretty much everything else!

-This is f*cking dramatic. So...

-Oh, do not say "dramatic." Don't you dare with that antiquated gaslighting schtick.

The communication is crap, and I'm getting tired of living with a ghost who can't be happy for my success.

-Do you even love me anymore?

-Look, I think we need to talk.

-I'm gonna get the power turned back on. I'm going to my manager's to pick up a check.

-It's not just about checks.

-Bro, watch it, man.

-Okay. I can do this. I can do this. I went to Juilliard. I can do this.

This is a robbery. Empty the drawer into the bag now. Come on. Let's go.

-Okay. Just... Okay.

-Empty the drawer.

-Just-just, uh...

-Hurry.

-Hold your horses.

-Come on.

-Yeah. Okay, I got it, I got it.

-Give me the 50s.

-Okay, just relax.

-Don't tell me to relax. Let's go. Come on.

-Everything okay, Jill?

-Oh, no, no, no! On the ground! On the f*cking ground right now!

Down. Down. Everybody down! All right. Okay, stay calm.

We'll all go home tonight. Everybody calm down. Okay. All right. That's right.

Give me the bag. Give me the bag. Give me the bag.

-Oh, my God. That's me. That's me.

-Meet Harry Pine. Up until now, he's failed to realize that he's not the center of the world.

But, as you can see, he's also not entirely himself at the moment.

Harry's mind is an uninvited guest in an unfamiliar body.

He's about to go on a journey of self-discovery, the kind that's only possible here, in The Twilight Zone.

-You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.

It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.

And it lies between the pit of one's fears and the summit of one's knowledge.

You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.

You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.

-Luntz, head around back. Secure the alley.

-Copy that.

-He been unconscious the whole time?

-Uh, yes, sir.

-You knock him out with that banana?

-Uh, no, sir. Looked like he was about to faint. Uh, are you thinking allergies? Uh...

-Still breathing. Hell of a time to have a panic att*ck. How far away are the paramedics?

-One minute away, sir.

-Oh, my God! Jill! I was so worried about you, you poor thing.

You need to sit down. They caught the guy. Everything's gonna be A-OK.

-Oh, that's, uh... That's, uh... that's great. I... Thanks so much.

-You know, I can't imagine what was going through your mind out there.

That creep must be an addict or something.

-Oh. Tripping balls, I bet.

-I was thinking cr*ck. You know, you don't look so good, Jill. I think you should sit down.

-Oh. No, I'm... I'm fine, um, um, ooh, uh...

-Belinda.

-Yes. Yes, yes. Belinda, I just need to get home and, and get some rest.

-Jill, you know you can't leave with that.

-Now is not a good time. Okay, baby. I know. I know. Hey, look, I'll-I'll call you back, all right?

-Luntz, what's your position?

-Approaching the back door now.

-Let me know when you're inside.

-Copy that.

-No, I am not giving you the bag.

-Jill, no... That is really not very polite, you know.

-Oh, I don't like the...

-Oh, oh, ladies.

-Stop that!

-Ladies. Easy! Easy!

-You back off, bitch!

-You just... Thank God! Officer, she's trying to steal the money.

-Easy!

-I wasn't!

-She's a thief!

-I'm gonna need you to c-calm...

-Shut up, bitch!

-Whoa! Calm down! Calm down! Everybody calm down.

-Officer,

-All right?

-I wasn't trying to do anything.

-Okay. Okay. What's-what's your name, ma'am?

-Uh, uh...

-Your name, lady!

-Mm, mm...

-Your name!

-Don't play dumb, Jill. Her name is Jill.

-I said to calm down!

-What do you got back there, Luntz?

-Detective, uh, I've got a lady back here. It looks like she tried to take a bag of cash in the confusion.

-No, I...

-I'm gonna need to take this.

-No, no! I wasn't...

-Copy that. Bring her to me.

-Copy that. Thank you!

-Hey, listen, Officer! Hey!

-This is actually very interesting, because I've noticed that things have been missing around here,

particularly from the lunchroom... I should have been thinking that you're a thief!

-How did I get here? Officer, no, I want...

-Well, I should have suspected you're a thief!

-Luntz, I want to question that witness. You bringing her out here or what? Luntz!

-Wh-Wh-What is happening?

-Oh, don't play dumb, Jill. You're such a phony!

-H-How can you say that, Belinda?

-Well, I was at your wedding!

-Luntz, where you at?

-Uh, I'm right here, Reece. Whoa... Whoa, what's going on? Why-why am I in cuffs? Wha...? Where's my uniform?

-Good morning, Officer.

-Huh? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no worries, no worries. It's all good, it's all good.

-Luntz, it's Reece. What's your 20?

-Watch where you're going, bro.

-Where the hell are you?

-Hey! Hey! Yeah, thanks for your service.

"Oh, but I think him better than I say. And yet would herein others' eyes were worse."

"Far from her nest, the lapwing cries away. My heart prays for him..."

-Yes?

-Hey. Morena, it's me, Harry. I'm calling from a different phone.

-No, it's not. Who is this?

-No, no, no. I-I know I sound weird, but it really is me, Harry.

-No, it's not, weirdo. Don't call here again or I'll call the police.

-No, no, no, no. Don't do that. M-Morena. Morena, no. Damn it.

-Yes?

-Okay, so Pine has no priors as far as we can tell. He's an actor but doesn't work much.

And he did some television work, nationally, about ten years ago.

We're checking the federal databases now, too.

-Yeah, I doubt you'll find much. Seems like a nobody. Is he still acting all weird?

-Yeah, he's still denying it was him. Still saying he isn't Pine, so, yeah.

Crazy. You think he's a head case, Pete?

-I don't know. Any word on the actual Patrolman Luntz?

-Uh, none... he hasn't called in and we think he shut his walkie off. His wife hasn't heard from him, either.

-What about the money?

-Oh, it's gone, the video from the bank shows he had it with him when he left.

Do you, uh, think they were in on it together? Does that sound like something Luntz would do?

-Right.

-How long have we known him? It does seem very out of character. But who really knows anybody, right?

-Whoa, man. That is so deep, Hill. Here's an idea. Why don't you go find him?

-Morena, it's me... Harry. Don't freak out. Don't freak, don't-don't freak out.

I know... I-I know... I... I know this is weird. I know this is weird.

I know th... I-I know this is... I... This is weird. This is...

Morena. I'm-I'm-I'm Harry. I'm Harry. I'm Harry. I'm...

You know how fast you were going, ma'am?

You know, the thing about being on the force is... it's not just a way of life, it's also death.

Let the girl go, you freaking punk! Huh? It's just you and me and I'm the one with the g*n!

So, what's it gonna be?! You or me?! Wow, that was pretty good. These freaking casting directors, they don't...

-Hurry up in there!

-Uh, uh... occupied!

-I need you to start... talking.

-I don't know what to tell you, Peter. It's me! It's-it's Luntz.

I-I have, I have no idea what is going on. I-I mean... I feel like I'm dreaming.

-Hmm. Well, wake the f*ck up. I know who you are...

You are Harry Pine, a 40-year-old actor who isn't working all that much.

-No! No, it's me. It's Luntz.

Uh, my-my-my kids... my kids are Quin and Violet, okay?

And-and m-my wife Meg, she-she-she's an attorney.

I-I got hammered at last year's Christmas party, and-and-and you drove me home.

-Mm-hmm.

-It's Luntz!

-Okay, so, what, you're good at research.

What, man, you think you're the first person to sit across this table

from me this week trying to set up an insanity defense?

-It's the strangest sensation. I was, I was back there, and I-I looked her in the eye,

and she looked at me, and it's like she... she was gone, and I,

I guess I was gone, too, 'cause I don't... I don't know.

O-Okay, I... You-you need to know I-I mean no disrespect with this, Peter.

I would, I would never bring this up in any other situation, okay?

But I-I know something about you that... Pine, he'd-he'd, he'd never know.

-Really?

-I know your secret.

-Here's your cappuccino. Have a great day.

Good afternoon, Officer. Can I get a drink started for you?

-Raisin bagel with butter.

-Can I get your name?

-Morena.

-Morena?

-Okay, that wasn't right.

-Sorry, say again?

-Uh, it's fine.

-Can I get something, uh, for your friends over there?

-No. No.

-Oh, you, uh, dropped your bag...

-Hey, buddy, what's going on? Hey, Luntz, you all right? Why didn't you answer?

-Hey, what's going on? What's going on? Where am I?

-Hey. Sir?

-Huh?

-Hey, drop the bag! Freeze! Hey, stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

-Ow, my foot!

-Out of the way! Out of the way! Stop!

-Damn it, no.

-Stop! Out of the way! Stop!

-Oh.

-Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell?

-Stop! Move! Move!

-What the hell, man?!

-Where's the bag?

-What bag?

-Now, doesn't that strike you as suspicious behavior, Jill?

And you have to admit it's rather convenient that the part that you blacked out for is the part

where you're trying to get out of the bank holding a bag full of stolen money.

-But, no, no, I told you. I don't remember any of that.

Besides, you-you have the robber in custody.

-Play the video again.

-He's the guy with the g*n, right?

-Mm-hmm.

-Maybe he drugged me? Hypnotized me? Charge him with criminal hypnosis!

He looked into my eyes, Detective. And something happened!

-I need a moment, sir.

-Excuse me, Jill.

-We found Luntz.

-Thank God.

-Picked him up at a coffee shop on Grand Street.

He was a bit out of it, claimed he was here at the station all morning talking with you.

-Did he have it, the bag?

-Uh, no, sir, we caught the guy who was holding it,

but he handed it off to some athletic freak. We lost him in a foot chase.

-Well, let's see what our friend Harry has to say about that.

-Hey! Hello?!

-Settle down, Harry.

-Har... What? Who is Har...? Who is that? S-Sorry. I'm sorry. What?

-Settle down, Luntz.

-Who is Luntz? Who is that? What is going on?

-Uh, o-okay, who are you?

-What the hell is wrong with that mirror?

I don't know who that is! What?! It's like... it's not... That's not me!

-Okay. Okay, okay! Okay, c-can we start here?

If you're not Harry and you're not Luntz, who are you?

-I'm John. I'm John. And I'm not... That is not me in the mirror.

That is not me. But it-it looks... It's a reflection of...

-Okay. J-John. John. John, John. Look at me, John. John.

-Yeah.

-John, I'm here to help you. Okay? John, right before this, just before this moment.

-Yes.

-Yeah. Where were you? Look at me.

-Okay.

-Where were you?

-I-I was jogging downtown. And I just... I-I don't know what happened.

I just... I-I ended up here, and I don't know why I am chained to this table,

and I don't know what that is.

And I don't know who that is, but I know that that is not me.

I don't feel good. I feel really weird. What is happening? I...

-John, I don't know. I-I don't know what's happening. But we're gonna find out, okay? Together.

-Okay, please. Please.

-All right?

-Morena. Morena, it's me. It's Harry. Morena. Morena, i-it's me. It's Harry.

-That place is a fraud. He just wants your money.

-You are not who you appear to be.

-What did you say?

-I see a man pretending to be something he's not. Do you even know?

-Know what?

-Do you know... who you are?

-I... I-I guess I don't.

-You want to find out?

-Are you a psychic?

-I'm Keith.

-Harry.

-Welcome, Harry.

-C-Can you help me?

-Oh, I most certainly can.

-Do we have, uh, psychic-client confidentiality?

-You ain't my client. Yet.

Your secrets are safe with me.

-I robbed a bank this morning.

-Oh, really? Why?

-Uh, to get money.

-What do you mean?

-I don't know. Honestly, I... I-I think my girlfriend is gonna leave me.

She-she may be cheating on me. My career is...

Hell, it's a dumpster fire. I... And I-I can't afford our apartment.

-Did she say she was gonna leave you over money?

-She said it isn't about money.

-But you robbed a bank.

-It's...

-Are you still with me?

-Uh...

-Okay, listen. In my experience, when people think things are about money, they're generally about something else.

They're usually about how much empathy you have. Are you being generous?

-Look, this...

-With your empathy?

-Look, this isn't even the crazy part.

-So why won't you look me in the eye, then?

-No. No, that is... that is definitely a bad idea.

See, that's, um... That's kind of the problem. See, when I-I... Uh...

When I lock eyes with people, I-I kind of jump into their body.

Like this. This-this isn't really me.

-Uh... So who is it, then?

-And here you go.

-Thank you.

-I was, uh, also able to get in touch with your daughter's school.

We'll have somebody pick her up for you, drop her off at your parents' house.

-Thank God.

-A running dude, I guess? I... I don't really know him.

-Why him?

-Uh, I don't know. I... I needed an escape, but... Now I kind of like being this guy now.

-So... when you're him, where is he?

-You know, I never really thought about it.

-Well, there's only one way to find out.

-...anything at all if I could just have my body back.

-Oh, my God. Are you all right?

-Amazing.

-John?

-Keith. And you are?

-Detective Reece.

-Detective Reece. Corduroy suit is a very brave choice, Mr. Reece, but you do make it work.

-Where were you before you popped up here?

-Where was I? Where was I? Where was I?

Is anybody ever really anywhere, Mr. Reece?

-What does that even mean? This is serious. I am trying to track down...

-A bank robber? Well, he ain't here, honey.

So it looks like you're gonna have to make a deal with me.

-A deal. Okay. What kind of deal?

-Well, feels like a reward is in order, no?

-Does it?

-Mm-hmm.

-Hmm. Well, I might be open to discussing that.

But first, I'm gonna need to know where you came from.

-Oh. Where have you come from, Detective?

-Huh?

-Do we have a problem dealing with stress?

-I have a problem dealing with assholes.

Now, we don't have to talk. I can just show you right to your cell.

-Aw. He's at my shop on Cherry Street.

-Cherry Street. And where on Cherry Street? Do you have the cross street?

-No. No! No. No! No! No!

-Keith?

-No. It's John again. John. I was just back in my body,

and he-he was there. He was there. He was with me.

-Where is "there"?

-Uh, uh, like a, like a psychic shop.

-You're coming with me. Let's go.

-Where-where are we going?

-Cherry Street. Congratulations, John, you are now a human GPS.

-Where was I?

-You're with a cop. Hot daddy, cute suit.

-Okay. I'm stuck in this body forever. I just...

I just need to get that money to Morena. This'll be fine.

-You really did do all that stuff?

Listen, listen... I'm a scam artist. Just like you, but you're worse.

Because at least what I do makes people feel better.

-Oh, yeah.

-What are you laughing at?! Stop being such a d*ck, Harry.

-Thanks.

-You can't just shove a g*n in somebody's face because you want money.

That's a person. And now... everybody that walks by,

you treat like a husk that you can just slither in and out of, like a cheap hotel robe?!

And worst of all, for all that talk about your little girlfriend Morena,

you treat her like she's a problem that needs solving.

-I know what I'm doing.

-Do you? Do you really? I'm-a need you to get out of here.

-No. Hey...

-I'm-a need you to get out of here before you drag my black ass into this bullshit.

-Can I just stay here? Can I just stay here until I figure this out?

-No, I'm-a need you to go! You gots to go.

-Where am I gonna go?

-You gots to go.

-They're gonna find me.

-Get your hands off me.

-You know what? What happened back there?

-Get the f*ck out!

-Okay. Oh... sh*t, the money! No... no, Keith! Keith! Open up.

Please. Keith! Hey! Open up. Open up. Keith!

-Why don't you tell us what happened, sir.

-Yeah, I, uh, left my bag in there, and it has some really important things in it.

-Then you come back and get it in the morning.

-I-I don't even know if it's even there anymore.

I'm sorry, am I the only one who-who knows it's-it's illegal to steal?

-You left it there you said. Not the same as stealing.

-Please, it's really important that I get my bag.

-What's in the bag, sir?

-It-It's personal. Papers.

-What kind of papers?

-Uh, documents. Like... Business things. Like, legal payroll... I don't know...

-Bailey.

-Excuse me a second. Don't move.

-Am I in trouble? I was robbed.

-Matches the description... What's your name, sir?

-Uh, I don't, um... remember.

-You don't remember?

-Uh... uh, what?

-Were you at the coffee shop on Grand Street this morning?

-Yes. No. Uh... why?

-Did you have any involvement with what happened this morning at Eastside Bank and Trust?

-Hey!

-What are you looking at?

-Hey! Sex Pistols?

-Was that a signal or something? Hey, buddy.

-I'm-I'm back.

-Stop.

-Oh, my God.

-Sir, don't move.

-It's me!

-Don't go anywhere, kid. Calm down. You tell us what's going on.

-Put your hands up.

-Hey!

-Lady? Hey, lady? That's the building. Hey!

-No, but my name is John. Look, it's right here.

-Oh, now you know your name.

-What? Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-Hands in the air!

-Down. Down on the ground right now!

-No... what? Oh.

-You shut your mouth.

-Get on the ground. Down! Down!

-Ooh. Everything hurts. Ah. Oh. Now, where is that apartment? It's... it's got to be the second floor.

-Who are you talking to, Mr. Martinez?

-Oh, nobody. I...

-Um... You okay? What are you doing?

-It's okay. I'm fine. Uh, just chilling here.

-Chilling? That's hilarious. Okay, I...

-Mom!

-Um, okay, I got to get this one to bed. You have a great night. Go upstairs!

-Hey, uh... uh... could you remind me what apartment I live in?

-Mr. Martinez. Do you want me to call your doctor?

-Oh, no, don't call anybody. Uh... I just forgot is all. I'm tired.

-Mom.

-Okay, uh, if you say so. Um...

-Mom?

-You live down the hall from us... 2B. Look, if you need anything, just come knock on our door, okay?

-Mom?

-We're in 2A.

-That's the apartment next to the psychic shop. Right?

-Mom!

-And you can see the skylight from your window, right?

-Mom? Mom? Mom? Mommy!

-Yeah, your memory's pretty good after all.

-Take me upstairs. Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy.

-Mr. Martinez.

-Mommy?!

-Whoa, hey!

-You okay, babe? Let's go.

You know, you really don't seem well, Mr. Martinez. You should go lie down.

-Y-Yeah.

-Mommy!

-Ah!

-Mommy!

-Mr. Martinez. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Hey, hey,

-Where's my mommy?

-What-what-what's your name?

-Miles. Where's my mommy?

-Miles.

-Where's my mommy?

-I'm Detective Reece, and I'm here to take care of you, and everything's gonna be okay.

Okay. Okay. Hey, Miles, Miles, Miles.

-Mister... Why? What are you...? Uh, uh... Why am I in bracelets?

-One second. Yeah, babe.

-Where's my mommy?

-No, honey, I-I-I...

-Where's my mommy?

-Now's not a good time. Hey. Uh, I-I... I really can't...

-Where's my mommy?

-I really can't talk right now.

-What is happening?

-All right, sweetheart. I can't wait to see you. I'll call you. Bye.

-I want Mommy.

-Miles, I've got a question for you, buddy. Do you like ice cream? Hmm? Yeah? Me, too.

-So, what bedtime books would you like tonight?

-Whatever.

-Pardon? Hmm?

-Whatever book you want, Mommy.

-Okay. Um... How about... Little Red Riding Hood? Yeah?

"There was once a little girl who lived on the edge of the forest."

"Her grandmother, who lived on the other side of the..."

-That's enough, Mommy. I'm getting sleepy.

-Are you... sure? We barely started.

-I want to go to sleep and dream about you.

-Oh. Okay. Are you feeling okay?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Okay.

-Ow. Ah. Shh... sh*t. Oh. Well, hey, that's me.

-Take it easy.

-You are the cop.

-I'm Detective Peter Reece.

-I need that money, Reece.

-How are you doing this?

-I don't know.

-Okay, well, it's over. All right? Now, I need to take you in, Harry,

and I want it to be the real you, so can you please switch back?

-I can't. They'll send me to jail.

-Look, Harry, I-I can't make you any promises, but you'll probably only do five years.

Possibly less with good behavior. Harry?!

You need to give this little boy his body back. Come on. Do the right thing.

-It's okay. It's okay. Come. It's okay. It's all right. Kneel down.

Detective... you're right. I need to give this little boy his body back.

But you know what? I don't want mine.

-g*dd*mn it!

-How about you do those five years, Detective?!

-Mom?

-Harry? Harry? Think this through. Think this through, Harry.

What are you gonna do? You gonna sh**t yourself?

-Huh?

-Where's the money? Give me the money!

-Stop fighting! What is that?!

-Miles. Miles.

-Shut up, kid! I can make her believe me!

-Stop! -Stop! Stop!

-Swap us back, Harry.

-Shut up!

-All right, Harry.

-Who is the bad guy here?!

-Harry, it's over. It's okay, Miles. Miles, it's okay.

-Mom!

-This is over right now! Look at me, Harry! Swap us back!

-Mom!

-What are you gonna do, Reece?

-Mom! Mommy?

-Switch back now, or I will take you back to the station, and I will go Clockwork Orange on your ass!

-Mom?!

-No.

-Give me my body back! Now!

-Drop the w*apon! Drop the w*apon!

-No!

-I said, put it down!

-Okay, here we go.

-Come in.

-I-I'm a-a police officer.

-Right.

-I-I mean, uh, I am, and-and I'm not. Uh, w-wait. Do you know him?

-Know who?

-Me.

-Stop messing around.

-I-I'm not...

-Oh, I love you, Peter.

-Peter?

-Harry's been gone all night, and it's the last straw. No more secrets. Let's just be together, you and me.

-Yeah. Yeah, forget Harry. From now on, it's just you and me.

-Amazing work. It's like you're really inhabiting these characters.

-Thank you. Um, I like to let the characters live inside my skin. I think of it like slipping on a bathrobe.

-Well, I'd like you to audition for Steve, the lead role. Your performance truly moved me.

-I was... just being myself.

-Harry Pine took a dangerous risk. One that cost him his body and his soul.

But in a way, he caught the big break he was waiting for.

For better or worse, he'll have plenty of time to practice for this performance.

If you're looking for Harry Pine, you'll find him starring in the role of a lifetime on a show that will run forever here...

in The Twilight Zone.