05x02 - Season 5, Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Previously on The Affair...

When this job opened up, I thought to myself, here's my chance to actually make a difference with the kids nobody else wanted.

We gave your whole nonnegotiable discipline policy a fair shake.

It didn't work.

I'm your boss.

I'm your boss.

"My mother lives and breathes academic success.

The only thing she hates more than failure is my father."

You and Carl, you got to work through whatever issues you got going on.

And you're who the f*ck?

People don't really know me, you know?

They, they, uh, know my movies, they see me as this action hero, this sort of modern-day James Bond.

But that's all an act, of course.

When I picked up your book, it just spoke to me, man.

I know it's a real act of faith, putting your work in the hands of another artist to interpret, but I want you to know, I am not going to let you down.

You're saying you actually think the producers of Fun Home would give you the rights to direct

-a student production? -Yeah.

So practice your pitch on me first.

You would do that?

I love you.

I love you.

He's passed.

♪ Dramatic music ♪

♪♪♪

♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪

♪ At the moment of my death ♪

♪ The echo I created ♪

♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪

♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪

♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪

♪ And when he d*ed, his widowed bride ♪

♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ I have only one thing to do ♪

♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the o... ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the o... ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪

So, how is it?

How are your classes? Have you made any friends?

Nah. No one talks to me.

What do you mean?

I'm kidding.

Yeah, I've made friends.

Actually, I'm thinking about going for student government.

Student government? Wow.

You can do that as a freshman?

Yeah, they set aside spots for the first-years.

Trying to get people involved early, I guess.

I don't know, it kind of sounded fun.

I guess all your years of, uh, "Be the change" finally got through.

Hey, you listening?

Of course. I'm sorry. My bad.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

So, have you, uh, seen your grandparents yet?

Oh, they live, like, an hour away.

You better get to it.

Yeah.

Hey, Ant.

I'm really proud of you.

Yeah, all right. Bet.

Well, I'll see you later, Mom. Bye.

Okay, have fun, be safe.

Thank you for calling me.

I love you.

Hey, Noah.

Janelle! Sorry.

Were you, were you waiting? My phone was on silent.

Not at all. I just got here. Um...

I didn't want to interrupt, but I also wouldn't want to be late.

Oh, no, we... this is Janelle, my girlfriend.

Very nice to meet you.

Noah won't stop talking about you.

Really?

The school I was telling you about, where I work?

Janelle is the principal.

Oh. You're his boss?

I mean, I usually don't lead with that, but...

She's worked for decades in... with kids in Compton and-and Watts and kids that no one else cares about.

You two are doing amazing work, I mean... and, uh, I know you have to run, so I won't keep you.

It was very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too...

I'm sorry, Noah didn't mention your name.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Sorry, did I miss something?

What? You didn't tell me. How was I supposed to know?

Noah.

The look on his face.

He's so huge.

He's... have you never seen the Maze movies?

-Nope. Never did. -Snake Junction?

Fortitude?

He was in all those? Wow, he's really big.

Oh, my God.

♪ Ambient music ♪

♪♪♪ Oh, and Martin's home from his ROTC summer program.

-He's the oldest? -No, that's Whitney.

Got it. So, it's Whitney, Trevor, Stacey...

No, no. Martin then Trevor then Stacey.

-Right. Okay. -Okay, then there's Pr...

And then there's Vik's parents, who are Priya and Abdul.

Then there's Helen and then Helen's parents, Bruce and Margaret.

Priya... Abdul, Priya.

Helen's parents, -Bruce... -And Margaret.

-Margaret, sorry. -No, don't be.

I'm just glad you're here.

This is so f*cking weird for me.

Noah.

Jesus. f*ck.

Helen never mentioned a dress code.

Let's just go inside.

Guys. Hi.

Hi.

Guys, this is Janelle.

Hey, hello.

-Hey. -Hi.

You're Janelle? I had no idea.

-Hi. -You're gorgeous.

I can't wait for you guys to get to know each other.

The soul is spoken of as invisible, inconceivable, and unchangeable.

♪ Quiet, ambient music ♪

♪♪♪

-Excuse us. -Oh, God.

Sorry... for your loss.

Hello?

No. No, Joel, I'm not gonna FaceTime you, I'm at a...

Hello?

Thanks for calling me back, and for speaking this way.

I-I thought we should talk face-to-face, mano a mano, you know?

That's not what mano a mano means.

Oops, sorry.

Not you. I ran into somebody.

What is it, Joel?

I know that we have a more formal commencement meeting, but I just wanted to call in advance and say that I am humbled, I am honored

-and I am so excited. -About what?

Obviously, we both know that I wanted your job, Janelle, but I think this is a perfect compromise.

How so?

Co-principals.

You and me, both bringing our A game.

Look, I know that you probably have your reservations, because you, you and I had our tensions in the past, but I just wanted to call and tell you that I am putting all of that behind me.

I am committed to starting this position with a clean slate. Let bygones be bygones.

I'll be the yin to your yang...

Uh... thank you, Joel, for, uh, calling.

Of course. We're on the same team now.

I'll let you get back to, uh...

Funeral, Joel. I'm at a funeral.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Well, that's not great.

So, who d*ed?

Oh, uh, hey.

I just wanted to say I think it's so awesome that you're my dad's girlfriend.

Dating a woman of color might be one of the coolest things he's ever done.

"Girlfriend" is a strong word.

♪♪♪

Who knew wearing white at a funeral is a Hindu tradition?

It's crazy Helen didn't tell me.

Her husband just d*ed. Maybe you weren't top of mind.

Yeah, well, I just didn't want you to think it was my fault.

Of course not. It was an honest mistake.

Ugh, God, these movie people.

They think they own you.

Sweetheart, would you mind grabbing me a drink?

I'll take anything with scotch in it.

Excuse me? I-I don't think I'm who you're looking for.

And all these empty glasses... they could disappear.

It doesn't look very professional, you know?

If you think that's bad, you should see the way he talks to me.

The valet is being impossible.

I don't know what to do. I just need them to park the cars. - Uh...

Helen, do you remember Janelle?

Oh, yeah. Hi. Thanks for coming.

Hi, of course. Um, I'm so sorry for y...

I'm so sorry. Um, if there's anything we can do to help, -if... -Actually, would you mind going and talking to the valet?

You might have more luck than me or Noah.

Of course. Happy to help.

Okay.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Uh, are you?

I think I was sent out here to help you with something.

I was just trying to tell the lady in charge that someone took their keys inside.

It's no big deal, there's just a car double-parked.

Won't matter till people start to leave.

Right. Got it. Thanks.

m*therf*cker.

♪♪♪

You know, in many ways, you've done a great job.

-The kids love you. -It's true.

You really get them.

As you'll see, this is not a demotion.

No. Think of it as a chance to develop your strengths and work on those weaknesses.

Which are?

Oh, well, uh, the student walkout, uh, discontent from the teachers, a number of complaints that you're uninterested in the opinions of others and dismissive of their concerns.

Uh, to be honest, uh, we'd expected you to go above and beyond when it came to meeting us and the staff halfway, particularly as an outside hire. I-Instead, many people who worked with you felt... ill at ease. - Ron.

The important thing is that this co-principal arrangement will help you and Joel play to your strengths.

Right. Exactly.

Since Joel's so fantastic with people, we think he can help ease some of the school-wide tensions.

Work in some of the restorative justice techniques, handle partnerships and programs, attend, uh, district meetings, and... essentially be more of a public face for the school.

While you will focus your energy internally, continuing the administrative work you've tackled so beautifully, and, uh, working one-on-one with the students, of course, we love that you have such high expectations for them... and sharing the responsibility of liaising with the teachers.

The new contract for you to review and sign.

The sooner you get it back to us, the better.

Only a few weeks till the new school year.

♪ Melancholy music ♪

♪♪♪

Always the same knock.

Figured I'd give you a heads-up.

Since you tend to have company.

Come in.

-It's, uh... -Don't bother.

I know when you're about to say something you don't mean.

Fine.

Fine.

Could you take a look at this?

What is it?

It's a contract from CA.

They want me to... co-principal.

With who?

One of the other teachers. His name is Joel.

Do I know him?

He's only been there a, a few years.

Before that?

Grad school. This is his first teaching job.

How old is he?

He's white.

Of course.

They want us to split responsibilities.

I'd cover internal administrative stuff, he'd be the "face" of the school.

You always drink before giving legal advice?

Actually... this is for you.

And my salary gets cut by 15%.

I can see that.

Well... from what I can tell, it's standard.

And what you're telling me matches what they have on paper, so... you can go ahead and sign.

Is that all? Or do you need something else?

-What's the matter? -Nothing.

You seem upset. - I don't know why I keep expecting you to give a sh*t about me.

Why'd you come here tonight, Nell?

I have no idea.

Clearly, it was a mistake.

Oh, I'll tell you why.

You came 'cause you wanted me to tell you not to sign that.

Well, you know what? That's not my job anymore.

Excuse me?

If you wanted me to be your heavy, you should've never left me.

You're still a m*therf*cker, you know that?

I'm a m*therf*cker?

I left you because you were having an affair with your 26-year-old protégé.

Once. That happened once.

And for you to have the gall to sit there and, and reframe the narrative so that you're still the victim?

-Somehow. Always. -You want to talk about playing the victim?

You show up on my doorstep unannounced, after all these years, waving a piece of paper talking about "Poor me!

How could the terrible white people do this to me?"

I'll tell you how they can do it to you.

Because you let them.

You always let them.

And I'll tell you something else.

I've been seeing a therapist.

-You're what? -And my therapist thinks you relied on me to be the militant ideologue in our marriage, so you could go out in the world and be the compromise.

I don't have to listen to this.

And you know what gets to me after all that?

You went out and told everybody it was my fault our marriage failed.

You needed me to behave a certain way to legitimize you and then you left me for it.

I left you because you were having an affair, Carl.

Does your therapist know about that?

-Once. -Which is one too many times.

-That's not why you left me. -Yes, it is.

You're not being honest with yourself.

-Carl! -What?

-I'm leaving. -Fine.

Oh, wait.

Don't forget your social contract.

Just give me the f*cking thing.

Are you gonna sign it?

Probably. What choice do I have?

Damn!

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me? You're the one hitting things.

You've been in this field 20 years.

You really gonna give up half your power to a white kid who's gonna take all the credit and let you do all the work?

Maybe they're right.

Maybe I'm not good for this job. I'm too opinionated.

I'm domineering, I'm not maternal enough.

You're not what?

I don't play well with others, Carl.

That's part of this job, right?

I mean, you can't just be the visionary, you have to make everyone feel good about themselves

-while you're doing it. -No, you don't.

There must have been some reason for this.

If I was doing a good enough job, they would've just let me keep doing it.

No, don't you get it?

They don't want you to do this job, because they don't want you to do the job at all.

They don't want you.

Why not?

So you're saying I never had a chance?

I don't know what you want me to tell you anymore.

You wanted to change the system from the inside.

I never thought that would work.

So you must feel pretty good about yourself knowing you were right.

I don't feel good about myself.

I have been... teaching for half my life. I have three degrees.

When is it gonna be enough?

Janelle, you're brilliant.

And I know you wanted that to protect you somehow, to lift you up and carry you above all this bullshit, and it should have.

You should've been the one person in the world where color just didn't matter.

I never said that.

But, baby...

I've been telling you the same thing for 25 years.

But you never want to listen.

So I'm gonna tell you this one last time.

After that, you're on your own.

It's not you.

It's them.

You want a water or something?

Yeah.

Thank you.

A therapist, huh?

Yeah.

Just... trying new things.

She any good?

Nah.

It's a brother.

Which took a while.

You know how hard it is to find a black therapist in L.A.?

Mm.

You need me...?

-Yeah. -Oh, yeah.

Oh.

You know, someone thought I was a waiter today.

And this dress cost $1,000.

Go ahead.

You spent $1,000 on a dress?

What am I gonna do, Carl?

Anton's at school.

This job is my whole life.

How am I just gonna walk away from it?

What am I gonna do instead?

I have one idea.

You know Compton Academy's coming up on their district performance review next year, right?

What if, instead of signing those papers, you run for Unified School District's board?

You'd set policy for all the charter schools.

Plus, you'd technically be Joel's boss.

Hell, you'd be Ron's boss.

Don't come from within.

Come from above.

No.

I'd never win.

Not alone.

You know I helped Ava T.

Get elected to the 44th, right?

Ava Tompkins is gonna be a state senator?

You mean the girl who used to babysit Anton?

-Mm-hmm. -How old is she?

Thirty-four, and she's a star.

Defeated 12 candidates, including the incumbent.

So, you f*cking this girl?

Are you serious?

No, I'm not.

Why not, if she's so amazing?

And you obviously make such a good team.

♪ Soft, melancholy music ♪

♪♪♪

I'm not f*cking Ava Tompkins...

'cause Ava Tompkins is not the woman I want to be with.

I was happy.

So was I. But then I wasn't.

I'm in love with someone else.

No. Don't do that, Ellen.

Let's talk.

What is there to talk about?

No. If you want to go, you should go.

Can't we at least talk about this?

Was she here?

Did you... In this house?

In our be...

Um... Th-This is, um...

Hey, this is not right.

I mean, something is... Can we just cut there for a second, please? That's a cut.

-Um... -Really? I thought that was...

-No? -Hey, hey, hey.

You were devastating.

I'm entirely the problem here.

Um, can I watch playback, please?

Sure, you got it.

♪ Slow, quiet music ♪

♪♪♪

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm tired.

Of course she's not okay, Dad. Look at her.

She's riddled with PTSD.

I'm fine.

They changed the schedule.

It was supposed to be a family breakfast scene, but then the kid playing Martin, he apparently twisted one of his balls at the gym, and they have to switch it.

You sure you're okay?

Will you f*cking stop? I'm fine.

Okay, fine. Great.

So, what did you think?

Be honest.

I... You know, what do I know, Noah?

It was... it was... it was super.

I'm gonna go get some coffee.

Oh, no.

It was that bad, was it?

We actually put you to sleep.

Oh, no.

Uh, I had a late night.

Are you with the studio?

No.

S-So, you're... Uh, so, I'm, uh... Helen.

Helen?

Helen.

Oh, f*ck me.

Noah didn't let on that you were coming, the tosspot.

I'm so terribly sorry you had to see that...

Oh, I don't care, really.

But it was sh*t, wasn't it?

Please, be honest. J-Just tell me the truth.

I see y-you've found Helen.

-This is my daughter. -Whitney.

Hi. Who is very young, very engaged.

Jesus, Dad. - Mazel tov.

You were amazing in that scene.

-You were so vulnerable. -Thank you.

I'm just trying to do justice to your father's words, really.

Aren't we all?

Noah's told me so much about you.

I'm dying to know what you thought.

Did that feel just forced now?

I don't know what you're talking about, man.

I... That felt really right.

I don't know, N... It seems that the dynamics are off somehow. Don't you think?

Um... In what way?

I keep finding myself trying to comfort her, right?

But that's not the scene, is it?

Sasha, w-we could talk about this in the trailer.

This is kind of weird for Helen. Oh, f*ck.

Forgive me. I-I'm sorry. No, it's okay.

It's really not weird at all. I'm fine.

And you're not the problem, she is.

You s... I thought you said it was great.

Look, I don't know anything about this, it just seems to me that the actress is coming off kind of, I don't know, broken, or something.

And I think she needs to be more of a bitch.

Really?

Well, you want to like your character, right?

What's his name? Daniel?

His hero?

Well, uh, maybe antihero.

Yeah, so she should f... fight back. You know, att*ck.

That's it. That's good, that's brilliant.

Great. She should be strong, right?

Be more of a-a powerful foil in this scene.

You could be stronger, too.

Jesus, Helen.

Uh, sorry, man.

No, it's fine. I appreciate the candor.

-It's great. -Hey, dude.

We got to be done by noon if we're gonna get our day. Thank you, Lisa.

Thank you.

You're extraordinary.

Um... We're almost done. I don't suppose you'd have lunch with me, to finish this conversation?

Oh, no, uh... N-No.

This is really Noah's thing.

Uh, so we should get an Uber... what...

We have to get to my son's dress rehearsal.

No? Really? That's odd.

Um, well, very nice meeting both of you.

-You, too. -You, too.

I'm gonna walk 'em out.

Hey, Helen.

If you change your mind, Noah knows where to find me.

♪ Slow, quiet music ♪

♪♪♪

Hey, so that scene we just saw, was that really how it went down with you and Dad?

Pretty close.

I mean, not exactly.

The bra was in a different drawer.

Jesus.

Was I home?

I don't know.

Yeah, I think...

I think you must have been home. Yeah.

You shielded us from so much.

Well... what was I supposed to do, tell you your father was screwing another woman in our bed?

No. But you did more than that.

You never gave up on him.

You didn't let us give up on him.

He's your father.

Yeah, but when I think about how painful that must have been for you, it's...

Thank you.

How come you and Vik never got married?

Well, fool me once...

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way.

I didn't.

Not all men cheat.

Sorry.

♪ Made of little marks... ♪

♪ Fly... ♪

♪ Up so high ♪ -♪ Fly... ♪

♪ Fly... ♪ -♪ Fly... ♪

♪ Up so high ♪ -♪ Fly... ♪

♪ Fly... ♪ -♪ Fly... ♪

♪ Up so high ♪ -♪ Fly... ♪

♪♪♪

♪ I can see all ♪

♪ Of Pennsylvania ♪ Caption...

Every so often, there was a rare moment of perfect balance when I soared above him.

Great job!

Can we bring the house lights up?

I got to go deal with my face.

-Hey, lady! -Hey, Lauren.

Oh. Oh, God.

Oh, will you look at those two?

Yeah. Thick as thieves.

How are you, sweetie?

I'm fine.

You keeping busy?

I mean, they say that's the most important thing.

Yeah.

Um, my ex-husband is making a movie.

So we were on the set today and...

Oh, my God. Did you see him?

-Noah? -No, you whore.

Sasha Mann. - Did she see him?

-He asked her out. -What?

-He did not. -Yes, he did.

He asked her out and she blew him off.

Oh. Helen, you have to go.

I mean, he is the perfect man.

No, I'm serious. He donates half of every paycheck to charity.

He teaches acting in prison. And I've heard that, on all of his movies, he buys the whole crew, like, super expensive motorcycles as wrap gifts.

How do you know all this?

I read Us Weekly, Helen. Oh, my God.

-Baby, that was so amazing. -Hi. Hi.

Hi.

-I'm serious. -No.

The second act was a disaster.

-No way. It was genius. -Total Titanic.

No, stop. Really. No. No, look at us.

We were bawling. Look at my eyes.

I was bawling the entire time.

We were both bawling. Weren't we, Mom?

What was your, uh... what was your favorite part, Mom?

I'm just so proud of you, Trev.

I think Vik would've liked it.

♪ Somber music ♪

♪♪♪

No.

♪ Soft music ♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

So, do you actually call him Mr. Mann?

Hi.

Thank you for coming.

I have no idea what I'm doing here.

Why don't you just start by coming in?

Did you just move in?

Uh, four years ago.

You need some furniture.

No. I find I feel healthier with less.

Um, I've made us some tea.

And the way that I'm preparing our tea actually dates back to sixth-century Buddhist monks.

That's old.

That is old.

Please, sit.

Legend has it that the Bodhidharma struggled so badly to stay awake during meditation that he, in a desperate moment, ripped off his eyelids to keep his eyes open.

And from the fallen lids sprung the tea plants.

Huh.

Well, point being that what began as a practical thing, over time, became its own ritual.

I mean, its own form of-of meditation.

Thank you for coming all this way.

I'm up every night agonizing over this film.

I'm desperate to get it right.

I'm sure you will.

It's a very personal story for me.

The novel was formative, and it gave me tremendous insight into my own behavior.

Really? Did you leave a wife and four kids, too?

Sorry. Bad joke.

Noah speaks as if you and he are the best of friends.

Well, we are friends.

But are you, maybe, still harboring resentment after all these years?

Okay, you said you wanted to talk to me about the movie.

Are there any specific questions you wanted to ask or...?

Mm-hm. When you said that Ellen should be more of a bitch...

I didn't s... I don't think I said that.

-I think you did. -I don't...

Let's check it.

"Ellen should be more of a bitch so that...

Daniel can be our hero." You wrote that down?

Yes, I did. And it was a great note.

Listen, you should've stayed.

The next take was electric.

But what is it that makes her character so aggressive?

Childhood? Issues with her dad?

I mean, is she lashing out at people because she's frightened she will never know love again?

Can I ask you an honest question?

-Please. -Do you like the book?

Yes, I do. Do you?

No, I don't.

Because it's about male ego?

No, because it's not very good.

But... so many people really like it.

Yes, but I'm not sure that they're very smart.

Well, um...

Well, I just said that I really like it.

Are you always this honest?

Uh... no.

I'm going through something.

It's really strange.

Um, you haven't touched your tea.

I don't like green tea.

I think it tastes like mulch.

Have you tasted mulch?

Listen, I know matcha can be bitter, but, I mean, properly brewed, it's actually quite good.

You let it get cold.

Sorry.

This conversation is not really working, is it?

It's me.

I'm just very tired.

Thank you for the tea.

Hey. Helen, please, you came all this way.

P-Perhaps something brought you here today.

-Your Tesla. -Oh, come on.

Listen, I just want to get to know you.

Can we just try something else? I mean, a walk or a swim or I've got these amazing yoga hammocks.

Yoga hammocks?

Yes.

They're really something.

Um, no. I think I'm just gonna get an Uber.

No. Please. Basketball.

Come on.

You just want to go home and keep googling your own demise?

I don't know why I said yes to basketball.

I really don't know how to play.

I love basketball.

It's such an American game.

And your son Martin used to play, didn't he?

-Yep. -And, Helen, would you go to all his games?

Can we just f*cking play?

Oh.

-Ha! -Hey, I thought you said you didn't play.

Maybe a little bit when I was in school.

Aah.

Obviously you didn't.

Well, it's the shirt, isn't it?

It's too tight.

Let me have another go.

Whoa!

You're such a baller.

Hey, Helen, think fast.

Ow!

f*ck!

f*ck.

Jesus. What the f*ck?!

Hey, I'm truly sorry.

I really thought you saw me.

You like Pinot Noir, right?

How did you know?

Chapter three.

I really don't understand my life.

-Can I see it? -No.

-Do you think it's broken? -Probably.

Well, let me just have a look. Uh! Don't touch me!

I'm not gonna touch you.

Oh, no. You're fine.

It's not broken.

-How do you know? -Well, my nose was broken a few times. It swells a lot more than that.

You got lucky.

Sorry.

I got lucky. Yeah.

Listen... one fine day, we'll look back on this, and we'll laugh and laugh.

I have to... I don't... I don't, uh, know what I'm doing here.

You seem like a very nice... psychopath.

-Well, I promise you, I'm not. -I'm just...

I really... I need to go.

Oh. - Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, you need something to eat.

-Can I make you something? -Uh, no. Mm-mm.

What about a little sugar, then?

I think I'm gonna, uh, throw up.

-You serious? -Yeah.

-When? -Now.

f*ck.

Here. Here you go. Here you go.

I'll just... go dispose of this.

Helen?

I'm so sorry.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

Are you okay?

Oh.

-Ooh. -Hey, hey.

Sit over here.

Come on. Come on over here and sit down.

Oh, God.

Just sit down here.

-I'm sorry. -No, no. Don't be.

It's my fault. I hit you in the head with a ball. I mean, we should go to the ER.

You might have a concussion. No.

I don't have... What?

I don't have a concussion. I...

Um, I lost my partner.

I lost my partner a few months ago.

Oh, my God.

Something's just not right with me.

I can't wake up, and I fell asleep on the 405... last week and just now, I fell asleep at my kid's play, and I almost fainted.

I just... I don't know what's wrong with me.

Just breathe. Just-just... You're okay.

Just breathe.

I-I just wasn't prepared for how permanent it is, you know?

I get it. He made his point. He d*ed. Now...

Now when's he coming back?

Death is relentless.

I lost someone, too, a few years ago.

-I can't. I just can't. -No.

No, no, no, no, it's not... No.

All I'm trying to say is that... after... after that, I f... I felt truly lost.

I did.

And then, I started to study with this Zen master, and-and he suggested that I simplify my life, and-and that's when I moved up here.

And I gave away most of my stuff, and it actually worked.

You think that I'm full of sh*t.

I... I haven't decided yet.

Before you write me off completely, can I show you just one last thing?

Might help.

How you doing in there?

Admit it. You do feel better, don't you?

You know there's nothing actually Buddhist about this, right, Sasha?

Like, monks in Tibet are not spending their time doing aerial yoga?

I know nothing.

♪ Gentle, peaceful music ♪

♪♪♪

♪ soft, dramatic music ♪

♪♪♪ Hey.

Hey.

I love you.

And I'm...

I'm so sorry for what I'm putting you through now.

And if I know you, you're trying to do this alone.

You don't want to worry anyone, so you're hiding your feelings from everyone.

Maybe you're even a little bit surprised by how much you miss me.

But Helen, I need you to listen to me now.

For once in your life, just...

Would you concentrate on yourself now?

Be a little selfish.

You've taken care of everyone else for so long.

I just... I want you to spend the rest of your life enjoying yourself.

And... if you can't do it for you, then do it for me.

Live now for us both.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Unrecognized deposit.

Cannot compute biome levels.

Shh. Shh. It's fine.

Searching database for unknown substance.

No. No. Stop. Just-just flush.

-Flush. -One moment, please.

Stop it, you assh*le. Override.

-Override! -Code?

Two-three-eight-two.

♪ Dramatic music ♪

♪♪♪

Hmm? Mm. Mm.

I... I just had breakfast an hour ago, and I'm already f*cking famished.

Want a cricket?

-No, thanks. -Mmm.

God, I can't get enough protein.

How were the Keys?

Bleak.

I hope you were a pinch more political with the client.

I was honest.

-Oh, boy. -I told them mangroves were the only chance they have to save the coast in the long term.

And?

They went with the swinging gate, which is barely even a Band-Aid.

Hmm.

But construction starts next month, and now I'm available for something else.

Joanie, you just got back from your third trip this month.

You know, chill a little.

Take time with your family.

Laine, I don't judge you for that carbon b*mb in your belly.

Don't judge me for wanting to do my job.

That was a joke.

Hmm.

Well, you're not gonna like what I have.

DOD's trying to save an old base.

Hmm. It'll be an erosion study, probably a swinging gate.

Where is it?

Montauk.

Well, that's how we stay in business, right?

Planned obsolescence, keep 'em coming back every two years for more?

I'll go.

♪ Dramatic music ♪

♪♪♪

Our apologies.

The tracks are flooded.

We should be moving shortly.

♪♪♪

Hello?

Hey.

Hey. Did you make it?

Almost.

You still in Houston?

We came back early, actually.

They had to cancel the game.

The entrance to the park flooded again.

How are the girls?

They're, uh, they're great. They miss you.

Yeah, I know.

Laine was desperate.

She practically begged me to take this assignment, so, here I am.

Where are you going to stay?

Dad's place.

Is that a good idea?

It's fine.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪ atmospheric music ♪

♪♪♪