04x25 - Party Pooper

[bunniefuu]

Big meteor shower tonight. Who's in?

Matteo, you know I don't do showers.

Or meat.

Finn...

You're right, that's on me.

Destiny?

I was gonna try and hang out with Lou again.

We were supposed to hang out last week, but she had to rescue a bouncy house full of campers heading over the falls.

Happens more often than you'd think.

I'll be there, Matteo.

It's fun to look at the stars and think about who's on the other side of that big, black blanket, shining that flashlight back at us.

We'll tackle that later.

For now, it's a date!

Where do you think Lou is?

She's never late for morning announcements.

Maybe I should do them.

Morning, campers!

No, wait. Hold on.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(IMITATING LOU) Mornin', campers!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay, okay.
What about this?

(CLEARS THROAT)

(IMITATING LOU) Ava!

Ava!

Yup, you do it best, boss, carry on.

(IN STRANGE VOICE) Mornin', campers!

Dang it, now I forgot what I sound like.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Anyhoo, sorry I was late this morning, but I just got some very exciting news.

I've been asked to attend the Southern Northeast Camp Director's

Conference in Vermont.

That's your exciting news?

Well, they're giving away free clipboards.

So, cha-ching!

Are you getting an award?

Even better.

They needed someone to give a speech, but there's a stomach flu going around, and their first eight choices got the bug.

But this iron gut was number nine.

And I get to stay at a hotel.

So while I'm gone, Noah's in charge.

What? Why not me?

Okay, you're in charge.

Ugh. Do I have to?

No. Which is why Noah's in charge.

Great, thanks.

That's all, everyone.

Ooh, you're staying in a hotel?

Can I please, please, please come stay with you?

I don't know. That wouldn't really be fair to the other campers.

Okay.

I just thought you might need someone to tell you whether your outfit looks terrible.

Or if your speech is bad.

Or to give you a hug if you blow it.

Destiny, if you are trying to play on my insecurities...

It's working. Go pack a bag

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Hey, Noah. Whatcha doing?

Surveying my kingdom.

Everything the light touches, I have to keep Finn from destroying.

Well, I know you have a lot to do, running the camp and all.

Which is why I wanted to let you know you do not have to plan a party for my birthday tomorrow.

Your birthday's tomorrow?

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I don't want to make a fuss.

In fact, don't even acknowledge it.

There's absolutely no reason for you to know that my favorite cake is German chocolate.

Because I don't want a cake.

Noted. No cake.

No German chocolate cake.

No chocolate, no cake, not even any Germans. Got it?

I'll cancel the Germans?

Good.

You also won't need this list of novels I'd love to own.

Because I definitely don't want any presents.

Goodbye, list.

Maybe you'll wind up in the hands of someone who does want a birthday.

Which is definitely not me.

Okie doke.

Well, as much as I've enjoyed this wild ride to nowhere...

Bye.

- Dang, this room is nice!
- Dang, this room is awful!

What are you talking about?

The Toasty Toes Travel Lodge is a four-star hotel!

Yeah, out of ten.

It says so on the sign, right under, "Try our new hot water!"

Well, at least check-in was easy.

Kind of hard to complicate a bowl of unattended keys.

What is with that painting of feet?

The big toes follow you wherever you go.

Great art makes you ask questions.

Aw, you're working already?

I thought we could hang out a little first.

Destiny, I have an entire speech to write before tomorrow.

It's for their Inexperienced Voices series.

They don't give those out to just anyone.

You have to be really inexperienced.

Oh. Okay.

I guess I'll just look over the room service menu.

Huh, weird. It just says "Psych!"

These chocolates are so good.

I especially like the ones filled with guts.

That's "nou-gat."

Well, whatever it is, I hope it didn't suffer.

Hey, thanks for being here.

I can't ever get anyone else interested in science-y stuff.

I'm glad you asked. I love doing this.

Stargazing?

Well, yeah.
But I meant hanging out with you.

Oh.

Ooh, it's starting!

Whoa, that was a big one!

I, um, have to go.

Now?

I, uh, forgot I have something to do.

What did you forget?

I don't know, okay? I told you I forgot!

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

Alone again, old friend.

Hey! Did you and Gwen have fun doing science?

"Fun doing science." Little joke there.

Well, it started out fun, but then it got weird.

- Weird?
- Yeah.

I got up to use the telescope and suddenly Gwen couldn't leave fast enough.

But I don't know why.

Huh. I don't know why either.

I mean, unless it's that big brown stain on the back of your pants.

What!

Wait.

You don't think she thought...

I mean, I didn't...

I must have sat on chocolate.

That might be true, but what it looks like you did was...

I know what it looks like!

Hey, Ava. Noah wants to see you in the Mess Hall.

Ah, here we go!

It's my birthday party.

It's your birthday?

Oh, yeah. Pretend like you don't know.

Don't spoil the surprise.

What surprise?

(LAUGHS) Oh! Man, you are good!

(LAUGHS) I'm so confused.

Here I... Am.

Where is everybody?

Do you know something I don't?

Do you know about sand crabs?

- Yeah.
- Then, no.

Oh, good, Ava.

This is for you.

Oh, for me?

I wonder what this is all about!

(GIGGLES)

Noah, what is this all about?

When Lou gets back, I really want this place to sparkle.

I thought you could help me by cleaning all the bathrooms.

Allow me to apologize for Grizzly Cabin.

Between Matteo getting up at night to pee without his glasses, and me doing how I do, mistakes were made.

But why me?

Please, Ava? It should only keep you busy for a couple hours.

Oh! Oh, I get it.

You want to keep me busy.

Okay, Noah.

I'll clean the bathrooms.

Thanks, Ava. I owe you one.

Yes, you do.

And something tells me you're gonna be paying me back later with a surprise party.

Am I right, Finn?

Again, I have no idea what's going on.

Do you think I'm someone else?

Lo-ou! Ready to take a little break?

Destiny, I can't.

I have to finish my speech by this afternoon, and this hotel doesn't have any WiFi.

Which unprotected network sounds safer to you?

"SkeezySkis G", or "SuperTrustworthy NetWinkWink"?

Come on!

Remember when we were both in Woodchuck Cabin and we used to have Spa Day Sundays?

Well, I set up one for us in the bathroom using some soaps I found.

You found soap?

Well, no.

But I did find something called "toe-romatherapy."

Destiny, I am so sorry, but I really have to work.

Fine!

"I entered this line of work "due to an unshakable love of children."

Ugh!

Know what? Let's just wait to type that till we feel it.

(SCREAMING)

What happened?

DESTINY: The stupid bed ate me!

It's stuck!

Lou, I don't mean to alarm you,

but my face is right up against the feet,

and I think they're scratch and sniff!

Breathe through your mouth.
I'll go get help!

Unshakable love of children, unshakable love of children.

There you are.

Have you been avoiding me?

No, I've just been really busy hiding from somebody else?

I'm glad I found you, because I really want to talk about what happened last night.

I have to go play bubble soccer.

- But this will only take a second.
- Sorry, I'm really late.

- But...
- A leprechaun!

Come on, man, you're a scientist!

Did you talk to her?

No. She's so embarrassed for me she can't even look me in the eye.

Well, you gotta do it soon.

Otherwise she's always going to think of you as the guy who "sat in chocolate."

I did sit in chocolate!

Well, someone wouldn't let me taste it.

So here we are, with more questions than answers.

This calls for drastic measures.

Finn... Bubble me.

I'm going to do the sports.

- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- Gwen, wait!

(GRUNTING)

My glasses!

Gwen, is that you?

Listen, I need you to know that you didn't see what you think you saw last night.

And with the stars as my witness,

I won't let this incident ruin our friendship the way that it's ruined my best slacks.

Dude. That was beautiful.

Finn? Where's Gwen?

Oh, she ran away.

I don't think she's forgotten about the pants thing.

There you are! Done already?

Already? I feel like I've been cleaning for forever.

Who's the president now?

Can cars fly yet?

Did Harry and Meghan go the distance?

Well, I'm glad you're done, because there's something I need you to see in the kitchen.

Ah, here it goes.

- Is it edible?
- Yes.

- Is it gooey?
- Very.

Is it chocolate?

No. But it is brown.

Wait.

We are still talking about cake, right?

In a way.

Last night's Mound of Brown was so thick it caked up the garbage disposal and now the sink's clogged.

And I thought, "Hey, Ava's already wearing gloves."

So you still need to keep me busy?

Fine.

Whatever you're planning must be huge.

And for the record,

Harry and Meghan will go the distance.

He's the People's Prince and she's an American Treasure.

Wow.

Big fan of the royals, are we?

Oh. I've got commemorative plates.

Okay, there's still no one at the front desk.

Just a sign that says, "Life's too short. Cleanish towels in the closet."

DESTINY: Did you call the fire department?

Yes, but they're going to be a minute.

Apparently a baby moose climbed into someone's minivan.

- (LAUGHS)
- Don't laugh.

Sorry, I was just picturing it!

If only I wasn't so close to this gross painting.

(CLATTERING)

Wait! I moved it, and it was covering a hole in the wall!

Can you climb through it?

I think so.

(RUSTLING)

Okay, I did it!

Great! Where are you now?

Inside the wall. What next?

How should I know? There was a reason

I was chosen to give the Inexperienced Voices speech.

It's really tight in here.

And it's so dark.

I'm going to use the flashlight on my phone.

Oh, good!

Now I know where all the spiders are.

Wait, there's a vent on the wall.

Can you make your way over?

And not to rush you, but I have to give my speech in an hour, and I would really like to make a soap run first.

Made it!

Ahem!

By any chance, is there a screwdriver in there?

No, there isn't.

But can I interest you in the mummified remains of a possum?

You're missing your speech right now, aren't you?

It's okay.

At least I got to see the big city lights of Gopher's Armpit, Vermont.

This weekend did not turn out how I wanted.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I know you were really looking forward to staying in some big, fancy hotel.

Lou, you know I didn't come on this trip because of the hotel, right?

You didn't?

I came because I wanted to hang out with you.

I miss you.

But we're around each other all the time.

Not in the way we used to be, when you lived in Woodchuck Cabin.

Now you're so busy.

We don't get to stay up all night talking, or play Truth or Dare when we're bored, or have Spa Day Sundays.

It's just... Different.

Well, I'm camp director now.

I'm not going to have the same kind of time that I used to.

I know. It's a selfish way to feel.

No, Destiny, it's not selfish.

I miss you, too.

Tell you what.

Why don't we start up our Spa Day Sundays again?

That way, no matter how busy I am throughout the week, we know we'll get to spend quality time together.

Deal.

(BOTH CLICKING TONGUE)

Lou, I think I see a light above me.

Either I'm being called to the other side, or I found a way out!

Hey, what's this? It looks like a button.

The bed is down, Destiny!

Do not go towards the light.
I repeat, do not go towards the light.

(DESTINY SCREAMING)

(COUGHING)

Are you okay?

Physically, yes.

Mentally, this was the end of my childhood.

Hey, if you hurry, they might still let you give your speech.

Nah. I'll tell them I'm not coming.

I'd rather stay here and play Truth or Dare with you.

Okay. Then I dare you to go.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Now I have our Spa Day Sundays to look forward to.

Thanks, Destiny.

I can't wait until then, when we can just hang out, put on face masks, talk about our celebrity crushes.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

LOU: So... mine's either Property brother.

So Gwen's still avoiding you?

Every time I get near her, she runs.

She's obviously disgusted by me.

Yeah. You gotta lean into that.

Really own it, make it your brand.

There she is.

Gwen!

Wait!

Look, I know you're avoiding me because you think I did something embarrassing.

But you need to know the truth.

Let the record show

Matteo Silva did not poop his pants!

What are you talking about?

That's not why I'm avoiding you.

I didn't even know that you pooped your pants.

Yup. This is happening.

Then why are you avoiding me?

Because I was embarrassed for myself.

When you got up to look through the telescope,

I accidentally...

I mean, I...

Well, in the woods, we call it "waking grandma."

Huh?

Oh, I see.

She beeped her horn.

Cheek squeaked. Played the butt trumpet.

Answered the call of the wild burrito.

I farted, okay!

Wow. No need to be crass about it.

But I didn't even notice.

You didn't?

But you said, "Whoa, that was a big one!"

I was talking about the sh**ting star.

Wait, you're saying you didn't notice the chocolate on my pants?

I guess I was too worried about myself.

Phew!

So neither one of us has any reason to be embarrassed.

Right. Except for this very private conversation happening in this very public place.

But for the record,

I would like you even if you were always pooping your pants.

Again. Just sat in chocolate.

But if I did hear you drop some decibels,

I wouldn't care, either.

I think you're great no matter what.

I just farted, too!

Uh-uh, we are not letting this become a thing.

(expl*si*n)

Sink's unclogged.

Ava! What happened?

Well, Noah, funny story.

A lot of pressure built up in that drain behind the Mound of Brown, and I was not prepared.

The end.

Well, you're just in time for a little birthday celebration.

Yes! Finally!

Okay, let's do this.

All right. Bring it in.

ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Finn ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

It's for Finn?

His birthday is in March, and he never gets to celebrate at camp.

Poor guy.

Wow, thanks everyone!

I can't believe I'm getting a birthday party

I didn't even ask for on this totally random day.

Random day?

Random day?

I'm sensing another expl*si*n.

This isn't a random day.
It's actually my birthday.

And I've spent it scrubbing floors, and cleaning toilets, and generally having the worst time ever!

So no, this isn't Finn's cake.

It's mine! Mine!

I have earned it!

That's right! Happy birthday to me!

Also, it smells like farts in here.

Ava. You okay?

I'm sorry.

As it turns out, I do care about my birthday.

Yeah, I picked up on that.

It's just, at home, I always tell my brothers not to make a big deal about it.

And they pretend like they're not going to do anything, and then they always end up surprising me anyway.

It's our tradition.

But I never should have expected you to know that.

I just wish you would have said how much your birthday mattered to you.

I would have planned something.

- What was that?
- What was what?

Your shoulder just twitched.

It did?

Yes. And it just did it again.

Huh. That's weird.

Oh!

What is going on?

I have no idea.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

ALL: Happy birthday, Ava!

I can't believe it.

This is the best thing anyone's ever done for me.

Were you surprised?

I know I was!

Finn, we've been practicing for weeks.

Noah called your brothers and they told him how they always pretend to forget your birthday, and then surprise you.

After they told me if I ever hurt you, I'd be in big trouble.

Then they texted me my home address.

How did they get my home address, Ava?

What Noah's saying is, he planned all of this.

Noah, thank you.

You really didn't have to do all this.

Yes, I did.

You're, like, my best friend.

Wait, what about that Mound of Brown expl*si*n?

Did you plan that, too?

Oh, that was just a happy accident.

Happy?

expl*si*n?

Presents!

So how did you guys escape from the evil bed?

The couple who reserved the room after us got the surprise of their life when they opened it.

To be fair, it was a little weird when I yelled, "Ta-dah!"

Finn, I still can't believe you kept my birthday surprise a secret.

Right? Noah told me I'd be great in the role of "unwitting pawn."

Noah, how did you get so good at birthdays?

Come on, you guys are pretty good, too.

My birthday was last week and no one even hinted they remembered.

So I know you guys are planning something really big.

And I cannot wait!

- Right!
- Totally.

Don't start asking questions, now.

I won't, I won't.

You guys are the best.

I'll go call his mom.