01x07 - Frog-Bikini-Eiffel Tower

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on "Imposters"... You stole the patent for the Bloom heel from Uncle Joe.

And you've been cheating on Mom for 20 years with a woman named Chanterelle.

I mean, what is that? A mushroom?

Where'd you get this? - Eva left it in the freezer.

- Screw it. [crashing]

Poor schmuck.

That was quite a night. We should do it again tonight.

And then definitely Friday after your birthday party.

Oh, my God! I cannot believe my baby sister is turning 30. Happy birthday.

Hey, I have a question.

What the f*ck do you think you're doing here?

Not leaving until we get our money.

You came here to chase a phantom.

But know this: there's no Ava, there's no Cece, there's no Alice and there's no money.

Not ever. So you just throw your heart around like it's nothing.

Maybe it's different this time.

Maybe he's not just a mark. Thanks, Gaby.

You know I'd be lost without you.

You're welcome. Ezra!

Stop flirting and get your skinny ass in my office.

[both moaning] What's the matter?

Is this good? Maybe if you, you know, talked with an accent. Do you wanna make love to me?

What happened to your face? I saw Ava at the airport, - dressed as somebody else. I thought this weekend I'd take you for a little getaway.

Oh, my God. Don't you wanna know where we're going? Anywhere that's away with you is exactly where I wanna be.

He's an assignment, sweetie pie.

Yeah, the Doctor called it in.

He says that Patrick Campbell could be one of our biggest scores in years.

Not in a million years, Max.

This is the life we chose. There are rules.

We don't get to break them because we're stupid enough

- to fall in love. Man, she grew up here in this house, played in that yard.

Dad had a heart att*ck. You need to come home.

I really think it's a stupid idea.

She chose this life. Patrick didn't.

What if somebody could have come to you, could have stopped it?

I'm going.

[clock ticking] _

_

[door opens and closes]

[light music]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

[laughs] What are you doing?

This was the worst decision we ever made.

What? Getting married? No.

No, that's the best one. Mm.

No, I mean coming here, telling my parents.

They may actually m*rder us.

Hey, you're tougher than you think.

You have to stop apologizing for who you are.

Okay?

[sharp inhale] Okay, that's them.

[clears throat] [car approaching]

[snaps gum] f*ck it, I say we run, right now. We're not running.

I got you. You got me.

[car door opens]

We got this.

[horn beeping]

Hey. Get in the car. Screw you.

Jules, get in the car. No.

I have to tell you something crucial.

Mind-blowing. Well, tell me.

Patrick's in the FBI. No, he isn't!

I followed him to the g*dd*mn headquarters, I looked down on the g*dd*mn seal and it said Federal g*dd*mn Burrow of Investigation!

[panting]

Did you say "Burrow"?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪ I impersonated a bartender at an FBI party.

Pretty sure you're not gonna serve time for that.

We stole cash, we stole credit cards.

Frickin' plane tickets!

How long has that car been behind us?

It looks suspicious. Oh, crap.

Feds drive American cars. That's them.

What the hell are you doing? Just be cool.

I am being cool! Stop making me nervous!

I'm not responsible for your emotional... Oh, wait, wait, wait.

They're turning. Oh, they are?

[laughs] Oh. Oh, my God.

We're being crazy people. [laughs] Oh, my God.

We're fine. Oh, my God. We're okay.

We're fine. Totally fine. We're gonna just...

We'll go back to the motel, we'll formulate a plan.

Call Ezra. He'll know what to do.

Unless they bugged our room.

sh*t, they totally bugged our room.

Oh, sh*t.

Then who's to say they didn't bug our car?

[tuning radio] [opera music plays]

[no audible dialogue]

♪ ♪ I'm not talking! Shh!

[both shushing]

[whispering] Don't touch me.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪ _

♪ ♪ Well, lookee here. Saffron must have stayed over.

Yeah, sweetest undercover gig of all time.

Someday, I'm gonna... Don't blow smoke up a senior agent's ass. Gina. Don't be bitter.

Go ahead. [knock at window]

Can you explain this to me, please?

The fact that the largest law enforcement agency in the country is still using a dot matrix printer?

You are way over budget again.

If we are not within striking distance of the Doctor very, very soon, we are shutting you down.

You are not the only cock on the block.

Understood? Yes, ma'am.

And where's the intel on this one?

We're pretty sure she's just a civilian and...

Pretty sure? That isn't quite up to Bureau standards, now, is it?

No, ma'am. And the puppy dog?

He's definitely in it. Just looking for the angle.

Oh, ah. Well, I wait with baited breath.

You have the nicest of days, now.

Just... [sighs]

Just take it easy on the credit card.

[soft dramatic music]

[sighs]

♪ ♪ Here you go, my lady.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

Thank you. Sometimes you just gotta say, "Screw it." Get away from it all.

♪ ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin our descent into Indianapolis International Airport.

Please turn off all...

You almost home or almost away from home?

Pardon me? Are you visiting Indy or going home? Kinda both, I guess.

I moved away 25 years ago.

I only come back to visit my mother.

But every time, she still tries to draw me in for good.

Like quicksand made of doilies. Well, my family's been in Indianapolis three generations.

There's great comfort being with family.

Yeah. It's called the easy way out.

There's a whole world out there, son.

You don't leave home, you never change.

Oh, that's ridiculous. My wife and I, we just...

Folks, we're now making our final descent

- into Indianapolis. We're taking a trip to Rome.

Yeah, take all the trips you want.

People back home will see you the way...

[pensive music]

♪ ♪

Hello?

Mom?

♪ Seether ♪

♪ Can't fight the seether ♪

[vocalizing] ♪ Seether ♪

♪ I can't see her when she's foaming at the mouth ♪

[vocalizing]

Dad? ♪ You got the seether ♪ Dad!

♪ When she's foaming at the mouth ♪

[vocalizing]

[grunting]

Oh, yeah!

Oh, man.

It's about time! Hey, excuse me?

Didn't you just have a heart att*ck?

I sure as hell thought so, Ez.

I had sh**ting pains. My whole chest seized up.

I was laying there on the floor of the show room, they...

I can't believe I'm going out like this.

It was damn scary, Ez. Right, Josh said you were touch-and-go. Turns out it was a massive panic att*ck.

According to Dr. Shipper, probably because of all the family drama of late.

You're, uh, blaming me for your fake heart att*ck?

Can't you just be glad the old man is still standing?

I'm glad you're okay, Dad.

Anyway, it was a good excuse to get your ass back home because I have a big announcement.

Jesus. Email me.

Hey.

Whoa, Dad. You shouldn't be up.

Shut up. I know.

Comes all the way back from God knows where and doesn't even wanna hear my big announcement.

Dude, come on. You can take one night off from searching for your wife.

Not wife. Oh, I'm not searching for her.

I found her. No way.

Mm-hmm. Infiltrated her new life.

I confronted her. She's called "Saffron" now.

Infiltrated? Did you get your money?

That's next. But she warned you not to come after her.

I mean, is, uh... is it safe?

What do you mean, safe?

I'm handling it.

Oh! Oh, you're here.

Oh, sweetie, I told them it was a terrible idea, but I'm so happy to see you.

Hi, Mom. Wait till you hear what your father has planned.

Yeah, about that, I... No, don't even ask.

I'm sworn to secrecy. Okay.

But come. Come, come, come.

Every day I find myself walking towards your office to tell you something, and then I realize that you're not there.

So then I started writing everything down.

It's ridiculous, really. No. It's... it's sweet.

All right, number one. "Articles."

Articles. I have clipped all of these inspiring stories about people starting over.

You know, they have this thing called the Internet now. Oh, stop.

All right. What is next? "Purple... purple floozy."

That can't be right. Oh, Mrs. Kirhoffer.

Yes! She got married again. No!

And she's still seeing what's-his-face from that...

Oh, um... The place...

What is the place? Mr. Windmiller.

The sleazy wedding DJ guy. With the beige van.

Yes! Exactly.

Oh, my God. Honey.

I have missed you.

I missed you too, Mom.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Come on.

This place is amazing.

Especially the view.

Hey, what, are you checking out my ass?

[laughs] You love it.

I do, I do. [laughs]

All right, 1:00.

All right, what's your guess? Mother/daughter.

Mother's idea. She wants them to get close so she's making them spend time together.

Disagree. Daughter's idea.

Really? Explain.

Well, daughter's gear is fully broken in.

Mom's is brand-new.

This is daughter's attempt to bring mom into her world.

You're good. Oh, you got no idea, baby.

Left? Right? Uh, let's go left.

[laughs] Why do you even ask?

Always forward, never back, baby.

[phone buzzes]

[phone beeps]

Hey, you know, you can answer that if you want.

I mean, it's not super outdoorsy, but still.

Not important.

Okay.

What do we think?

Good morning. Morning.

Definitely a couple. Yep.

Boredom in his eyes, semi-hate in hers.

Ouch. Really? Caught her eye.

She's pretending to have fun to make things easier.

[laughs] You're so cynical.

Everyone's pretending something.

Even with people they love?

Especially with people they love.

It's out of kindness.

No one needs to know every single thing that goes on in your head.

Well, then how do you get to know someone?

I mean really know 'em if we're always pretending?

Well, maybe you just accept that you can't.

And maybe it's even romantic to shape ourselves for the people we love and vice versa.

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm buying that.

Me neither, but it sounds good.

It does sound good. It does.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can get lucky and meet that one person that...

That what?

Nothing.

_

[sighs] This totally would have been my life with Alice.

Then consider yourself lucky Alice wasn't real.

Hey, Jules. Hey, maybe we should just look for a lawyer out here. No, Richard.

No insecurity. Okay?

They smell it like blood in the water and then they eat you alive.

Jesus. I sound like my mother.

Hello.

Richard and I are in Seattle for the weekend and I've been told our clubs have reciprocity.

Ours being the Prescott, back east.

I am so sorry, the Laneview Club doesn't engage in reciprocal relationships.

You know what my Grammy Langmore would say if she were alive to see reciprocity go the way of the dodo?

"What, dear Lord, is the world coming to?"

Would that be the Connecticut Langmores?

Would that make it easier for you to do your job?

Welcome.

[rousing piano music]

♪ ♪

So what's going on with you?

Still dating Stacey and Emily and both Ashleys?

Dink was here last week. Dink?

Dink, Dink, Dink!

Man, I always wished people would chant my name when I walked into a room.

He's on his way to Denmark.

He's gonna open up some international office for his company. What does he do?

Sales? Consulting or some bullshit.

Who cares?

He's gonna be in charge of sh*t.

Dink. [laughs] So?

It's just...

Maybe I was supposed to do something like that, you know?

Bigger. So do it.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know.

All right. Up for a little old-school "Sonic"?

If you're up for losing, then, yeah.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

Hey, did Ava ever ask about me?

Yeah, she asked about your nose.

I'm kidding! Idiot.

Kidding, bro.

Okay, you can't spit in a place like this without hitting a lawyer, so we should be able to get out quick.

Yeah. Cucumber water?

No. Oh, lovely. Thank you.

Mmm. Okay, seriously.

Can you stop jizzing all over yourself?

It's just people with money.

Only a rich person would say, "Just people with money."

I'm not rich.

I'm no longer rich. I get it.

Fancy yourself an artist type person.

I fancy myself?

What, money makes you not as good at art?

That's on you, dude. Okay, listen.

You don't understand these people, okay?

If you don't fit the mold, they destroy you.

[laughs] They destroy you?

You sound like a teenage girl. Grow up.

You grow up. Money isn't magic.

Magical power to pay your rent on time, fix your car when it breaks. I'm not talking about money for living, okay?

I'm talking about wealth.

Mm. Coaster?

Thank you.

You call it wealth.

I call it the shortcuts that you got that I didn't.

I am not some... Hey, when I started working at the car dealership, you know what the first thing I bought was? Some gruel to quiet your rumbling tummy? A Rolex.

Used... "vintage," they called it.

Thing was busted and the hands didn't even move and I couldn't afford to fix it.

But when I wore that thing, people looked at me differently.

Okay? I sold more cars in that first...

Okay, see? You're making my point.

It's stupid to let other people decide what is okay and what's not.

That's easy for you to say. Okay, um, I'm gonna find us a lawyer and you get us something real to drink. Will do, m'lady.

Afternoon, sir.

Afternoon.

What are you in the mood for?

[sighs] You have anything with gin?

Might I recommend the Constable's Lament?

Gin, shaved ginger, cumin.

How about just a gin and tonic?

Yes, sir.

It's ridiculous, right?

I mean, how complicated does it have to be to do some day drinking? Oh, yeah, man.

Yeah, just a G-and-T for me. Exactly.

Yeah. I'm Kurt Radcliffe.

Richard... James. Is Anne James your sister?

Afraid not. No, I'm visiting from back east.

You a member here? Oh, yeah.

I had my first drink right here at this very bar.

Hm. Wow. Yeah. My grampy slipped me the last of his Scotch. [laughs] That's awesome.

Well, I was six. He was an assh*le.

I'm kidding. [laughs]

Actually, I'm not kidding. Sure.

He was an assh*le, but whatever.

Family is family. [laughs]

So what do you do?

And I thought, there's no way this jury's gonna see it our way.

Then all of a sudden, this guy comes in.

[laughs] I had them eating out of my hand.

You looking for someone? Yeah, a lawyer.

[laughs] Well... you've certainly come to the right place.

Just look for somebody... Who thinks their opinion is worth $700 an hour.

Well, you clearly know what you're doing.

You mind if I smoke?

Only if you don't share.

Can we smoke in here?

No. But it really pisses them off.

So you're getting a divorce.

Young woman looking for a lawyer.

Oh, no, my marriage split up a couple years ago.

Yeah, I did that dance twice myself.

Two exes.

One that I like but never get to talk to.

The other one I can't stand. Have lunch with him every week.

Do you still see him?

Actually, she wasn't who I thought she was.

She? Hm.

That's one I never tried.

[men laughing]

Call the lady!

Nailed it.

Oh, it was really something, you should have...

That one. Oh.

Hollis McCallister.

Yeah, he's one of the best lawyers in Seattle.

You know him? He's good.

But I'm better.

Come on. I had to make sure that I liked you first.

[both laugh]

What do you need?

[sighs] Ezra?

[dog barks] Ezra?

Hey, I know you.

Ezra, stop. Ezra!

Excuse me?

That was for the dog, not you.

Well, when you disappeared, he needed a home.

So I bought him and I named him Ezra.

[laughs] Ezra, come here.

Come on.

Ezra, roll over.

Roll over.

Another Ezra that doesn't listen to me.

That's the story of my life.

[laughs] Okay.

What are you doing here? Your father invited me.

Said he had some sort of big announcement to make.

Yes, so I've heard. Yeah, and I'm doing your job at the company now, so... Really?

No one... no one told me that.

Well, you never call to check in, so...

Right, um, well, I have to say, I'm glad you went back.

Yeah, me too. I just had to, like, do my thing, you know?

I learned to tap dance, I learned photography.

You made cheese. I made cheese.

Yes, I did. I made cheese.

[laughs] But then I woke up one morning and I was just like, I'm good.

Wow. Yeah.

And then I called your parents and your job was open and that was a big promotion for me.

And I somehow convinced them to let me try it.

I bet you're doing really great.

Yeah, I am. Thank you.

[laughs] Ezra, come!

[dog barks] Don't even say it.

I was not going to. [laughs]

Ezra!

[printer buzzing]

Somebody get me Agent Simons on the phone!

Right now!

[cell phone buzzes]

Hey. Do you know what doesn't go with romantic getaways?

Calls from your coworkers. - First off, do not ignore my phone calls.

It's rude. And second, how close are we?

I'm getting a lot of pressure. - You're under pressure?

No disrespect, but I'm the one who's out here with his ass on the line.

Now listen to me, Agent Simons...

Look, Agent Cook, I made a choice.

- Ha! One that I'm confident will yield results very soon.

A million-dollar choice.

Here I was, worried about your job.

Now I'm worried about mine.

- How soon? Any minute now.

I can see it in his eyes. - Well, I hope so.

Because you know what else can ruin a romantic weekend?

A visit from the Doctor.

The Doctor gets his money, we get our lives.

I know, I know.

Take down the Doctor, we reclaim the money, we get our medals, and I go home.

Get it done, Agent Simons. Soon.

Consider that an order. Finish it.

It's time to put this shitty chapter behind us and blow out of this town.

Both: Absolutely.

So my cousin and her friends used quite a bit of grit and intelligence to find this woman, but in order to actually get to her, well, they have to do a bunch of illegal stuff.

Just to pay for travel, etcetera.

And then they find out that the FBI has been onto this con woman for quite some time.

And they're probably onto my cousin and her pals.

So that's it. Any ideas?

Thoughts? Well, it crosses state lines.

Chip, you do federal. Okay.

Your cousin doesn't have a lot of choices.

Yeah, but what I'm talking about is pure profit.

Yeah, but you have to have inventory, distribution, all that pain in the ass stuff.

We just take our cut... Ah, you collect crumbs off the table.

You don't actually, you know... Sell something.

Yes. Sell something. Right? Something real.

Something that a customer can touch, right?

That I can point at and say, "Value. Good. Buy."

And then you set the price.

Sounds like an old-fashioned way of making money to me.

I think I'll stick to playing the markets.

Rich is rich in my book. Well said.

Both: Hey! [laugh]

Hey, so sorry to interrupt.

Can I grab you for a second? Yeah, of course.

Real quick, I want you to meet the g*ng.

This is Kurt, Duke, Bobby. Guys, this is my friend, Jules Langmore. Nice to meet you.

Julia Langmore.

Jesus Christ.

Uh, we... we have to go. No, no, no.

This should be good.

So, you a big, famous artist yet?

Hm? Stealing sh*t left and right?

Wait, wait, wait. This... this is that girl?

This was your sister's roommate?

Oh, yeah. This is her.

One classy bitch.

Hey, easy, man.

Why don't we all just finish our drinks...

Is this your girlfriend? It's my friend, but...

This is a bad person. A fraud.

It's not true. It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't your fault? Hey, hands off, man.

Be a gentleman. Watch what you say to me, you d*ck! I will pound your teeth into your g*dd*mn throat.

All right, all right. Richard, let him up now.

You should be ashamed of who you are!

All right, man.

Jules? Hey.

Oh, sorry. Hey, what the hell happened in there?

Nothing. Sorry I messed up heaven for you.

That's not what I meant. What happened?

No. We are not talking about it.

[sighs]

Honey, you look very handsome in your denim and leather apron.

[laughs] I just hope the neighbors don't have their binoculars out. [laughs]

I don't know how this is gonna go.

Oh, sweetie. I didn't have such a good time downstairs and it was just...

Ours went fine, and it's gonna be fine, I promise.

If you can keep your temper in check.

I'll keep my temper in check. You will?

Yes, I promise. Okay.

Thank you. Can I get a kiss?

Please do. Mmm.

It's great to have them both here.

Mm-hmm.

Wait, oh, let me guess. So Josh and Ezra both needed five stitches each and they owed you $20? And they never paid!

I didn't have any money! Pretty sure I paid.

I paid. [overlapping arguing]

Arthur, Arthur, honey. Josh got locked in the basement. No.

Put them out of their misery.

Just give us the news. Okay?

Okay, I suppose it's time.

Mm-hmm.

[clears throat] Um...

Very serious. Official.

I've gathered you all together here because, as you know, I have a big announcement to make.

Wait, an announcement?

You never mentioned that to us.

With, uh... God. The Three Stooges.

...everything that's been going on in our family lately, um, combined with my att*ck, I've been thinking a lot about priorities.

You know, you just spend all day thinking about the next thing.

The one you think is gonna be bigger or brighter.

And you can lose sight of what you have.

How valuable it is.

How it could all go away.

And life, as they say, is for the living.

So, for years, your mother and I have been talking about taking a trip.

A second honeymoon. You have?

To whom, exactly, have you spoken about this?

Well, you don't know everything about us, then, do you, huh? Apparently not.

So now, now... [claps]

God damn it, we're gonna do it.

We're taking six months and we're just going.

Six months? Yes, if you're gonna charter a boat in the Mediterranean, you may as well make it worth your while.

Seriously? Yeah.

Wow. I'm so happy you guys are going.

You so deserve it. Wait.

What's gonna happen with the company while you're gone? Well, he's getting to that.

Slowly. You boys are smart.

You have integrity.

You treat people well.

You've grown into men that I'm proud to call my sons.

You're not actually dying, are you, Dad?

That's very funny, Josh. You wanna know who's dying?

I'm dying! Come on, get with it!

Your mother and I have decided that we would like the two of you... with Gaby's help... to start taking over the family business.

What?

We thought you were never gonna leave.

Yeah, mostly because you said, "I will never leave.

They can wheel me out."

I had a change of heart.

It happens.

Sometimes the life you want is right in front of you.

You just have to see it.

And take it.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪ Am I weird for wanting to stay in with you all the time rather than going to some fancy, shmancy place?

No. No, I don't think you're weird.

Really?

How about now?

No.

No? No.

♪ ♪ Now? No, that's not weird.

I-I do that all the time.

Now? Disgusting, but not weird.

[both laugh]

But you know what? Now that you mention it...

What? There is something strange.

I knew it. It's my big toe, isn't it?

No... well, yeah. Hey!

What is it? It's your hands.

My hands are not weird! Yeah, no, they are.

Here, look. No!

Come here, let me see.

What? Look.

See, now... your hands look perfect.

[exhales] Oh, my God.

It's a saffron.

I've never seen one before.

They're crazy rare, right?

♪ ♪ Crazy rare.

♪ ♪ You are the most incredible, fascinating woman I've ever met.

And I know a life with you would be beautiful.

And I know that we would laugh every single day.

Saffron Keyes, will you marry me?

♪ ♪ No.

No? No.

I have a counter proposal.

Uh, you do?

Let's run away together.

You and me. Tonight.

You don't have any obligations.

I don't have any that I care about.

Yeah, but I mean, how... how would that even work?

We just take the jet and disappear?

Yeah. Start new lives?

Yeah. Patrick, I love you. Do you love me?

I do. I love you. Okay.

Let's just go, now. Tonight.

We don't have to live by anyone else's rules.

I mean, isn't that what you've been searching for?

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I can't do that.

I don't... I don't know if it's my mother's voice in my head or all the Sundays I spent in church, but I need...

♪ ♪ I guess I'm just traditional.

♪ ♪ I guess I'm just not.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

If you add it all up, Maddie could get 30-40 years in prison.

What about us?

They say we'll maybe do five.

Five years? Years.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

But there is one more thing. [sighs]

If we're willing to work with the FBI to bring Maddie to justice...

Mm-hmm. We could make a deal.

Okay. Do probation, not serve any time.

Could you do that?

Put the woman that you love behind bars?

Well, I'd know where she is all the time.

I could visit her. Bring her magazines.

Maybe she'd finally do crosswords with me.

She never would before.

And then maybe we could finally...

Yeah, stupid idea.

Hey, um, thanks for having my back there at the club.

Yeah, the code's the code, right?

Pretty sure that's not in the code.

Well, you're welcome, then.

That stuff they were talking about, that's what was in your envelope?

In the freezer?

♪ ♪ My mom was just so sick.

And, uh, you know, I didn't know what to do.

This guy comes to me, talking about shaving some points and money.

♪ ♪ I don't know. Hey.

♪ ♪ We do what we have to do.

♪ ♪ You wanna talk about... My envelope stays sealed.

[laughs] So what do we do now?

We gotta call Ezra.

What if our phones are tapped?

[sighs] We'll text him.

Pretty sure they can track that, too.

We'll text him in code.

Come on. Okay.

[cell phone buzzing]

_

Yo, I was thinking, because I'm older, I should have Dad's office and you should have Mom's.

You do know Mom's a year older than Dad.

Right, right. Hmm.

No problem. It's all yours.

For reals? Mm-hmm.

sh*t, man. You're gonna back out.

They just offered us the fricking company.

Look, I thought you wanted to go to Denmark and be like Dink.

I can be Dink right here.

This is like my Dink moment.

And you?

You know... we would be like...

I just... I don't know if I can do it.

Okay. But you're not saying no.

[laughs] No, just think about it.

Do not let this go. 'Cause we would k*ll it, man.

As brothers. You know?

Hey, Ezra the human, you wanna go walk Ezra the dog with me? Sure.

And around they go again. Both: Shut up, Josh.

So then he walks in the exam room and he's like, "Hi, I'm Dr. Sheffield, the vetinarian." And I'm like, "Oh, you mean the veterinarian?" Yeah.

And he looks at me like I'm pronouncing it wrong.

That's nuts. No, it gets crazier.

Later that day, I went to return a book and there was this woman that I didn't recognize sitting at the desk and she's like, "Hi, I'm Mrs. Jones, the new libarian."

No! Like, you have to be able to pronounce your own job. [cell phone buzzing]

It should be a requirement. Yeah.

At the very least. Uh, sorry.

My friends think they're being funny or something.

Oh, do you have new friends?

Uh, yeah. Wow.

You got a problem with that? No, it's just so fancy.

[both laugh]

It's pretty crazy about your mom and dad, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, you know, Josh wants to do it and I think it could be really good.

It's just, um... What?

Part of me thinks I need to finish what I started with my so-called ex-wife.

Did you just roll your eyes at me?

Oh, sorry. I don't know what they're playing at.

You know what? What your dad said is pretty spot on, Ezra.

I hope it doesn't take you 30 years of whatever you're doing to realize what you have standing right in front of you.

♪ ♪ Maybe.

Maybe it won't.

[car approaches, horn honks]

Actually, my ride's here. Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm. I see you've made new friends, too. Hm.

To be determined.

Maybe I'll see you at the office.

♪ I can't explain how we got there ♪

♪ Or why we couldn't stay ♪

♪ You were my favorite soul mate ♪

[breezy folk-pop music]

♪ It was just love ♪

♪ Love ♪ Got a 1:00 tee time. You in?

Ooh, isn't that a pretty long lunch?

Oh, wait. We're the boss.

[laughs] [sighs]

[intercom clicks] - Check your top drawer.

♪ ♪

♪ It was just love ♪ It's blueberry peach.

Who's better than you? - No one.

♪ And everybody knows love ♪

[sighs]

[man speaking German]

[man's voice echoing]

[tense music]

[multiple voices echoing]

♪ ♪ Ezra, no!

[gasps, panting] [phone buzzes]

[phone continues buzzing]

Hello? - Bro!

Why have you not texted us back?

You were, like, butt-emojing me.

It wasn't butt emoji, it was code!

Frog, bikini, Eiffel Tower is FBI.

Eiffel Tower is spelled with an E.

What? Eiffel Tower? That's not the point, man.

The point is that... Ez, this is serious.

Patrick is in the FBI.

Wait. What?

The Feds are trying to take Maddie down.

They could come after us, too. Okay.

Look, man. We need you back, like, now.

Just come now. - All right.

All right, calm down.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Okay?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Airport, please. You got it.

Granola bar?

Je suis désolé, madame. Je ne parle pas anglais.

Oh, I'm sorry.

♪ ♪

[Plastic Bertrand's "Ça Plane Pour Moi" playing]

♪ ♪

[man singing in French]

♪ ♪