01x10 - Always Forward, Never Back

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Imposters"...

Patrick's in the FBI. I followed him, and then I saw Gina and Auntie what's-her-face with their badges dressed like legit FBI agents.

It's complicated. [laughs]

Or maybe... not complicated.

[whispering] I slept with Gina.

You bedded an undercover agent?

[beeping]

- That's a saffron. Max is telling this story about this chick he was in love with and how she betrayed him and he had to give her up.

He said what? Max and I are going to teach you everything you need to know, and then we take Patrick, we pay off the Doctor, and the FBI doesn't even know what happened.

Let me see the art piece.

I switch out the real money with the fake money. Voilá.

What do you need? Answers.

Don't try to know me, Ezra. It ain't worth it.

What's your angle? Immunity.

I get you the Doctor, you get me someplace new to start over. Max, my right-hand man, you have to leave him alone for this to play out.

Maddie tells the Doctor they found the missing money, he comes to claim it.

Once he takes the bait, we've got our man.

This isn't over yet, Max.

I need you to keep up the good work.

Well, of course, Doctor. I'm your eyes and ears.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Doctor is in.

["Little Drop of Poison" by Tom Waits]

♪ ♪

♪ I like my town ♪

♪ ♪

♪ With a little drop of poison ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ They're lining up to go insane ♪ _

♪ I'm all alone ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I smoke my friends down to the filter... ♪ Test, test, test.

Test, test, test.

Read you loud and clear.

♪ ♪

♪ And she left in the fall ♪

♪ That's her picture on the wall ♪

♪ She always had that little drop of poison ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And she left in the fall ♪

♪ That's her picture on the wall ♪

♪ She always had that little drop of poison ♪

♪ ♪

[dreamy music]

Maddie.

♪ ♪ Maddie!

♪ ♪ Maddie, breakfast!

Let's go.

Morning.

Morning, sweetheart.

Maddie, I need you straight home from school today.

Your cousin Danny's coming for the weekend and I want you to let him in.

But I have a plan with Kelly...

No buts. 3:30 sharp.

Last time Danny was here, he locked me in the closet for an hour until I agreed to be his servant for the rest of the day.

That's not true. Why do you always exaggerate?

[exhales sharply]

Dad. You were little kids.

He's a very impressive young man.

An all-state wrestler, he's got a big meet down in Lancaster this weekend.

But I made this plan, it's imp...

I know, sweetheart. Now, please, eat your breakfast.

Okay? Most important meal of the day.

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪ You're always bugging me about doing something together, so I invite you to hang out after school and then you ditch me.

I'm really sorry. It's ju...

Forget about your stupid cousin.

He can wait on the porch.

Maddie's a good girl. She'd never do that.

Would you, Maddie?

I kind of promised my dad.

She promised her dad.

One day you'll have some fun, Maddie Jonson.

Just not with me. [both chuckling]

[knocking on door]

Uh... who is it?

Ezra.

Come in. [door opens]

You just getting here? You're late.

For what? Oh, wait.

Are you getting married today? Ha, ha, very funny.

Did you need something? Just checking in.

Wishing you luck.

Luck's got nothing to do with it.

Don't worry. All will be well.

Unless, of course, you're playing us... again.

Playing me again.

What do you want from me, Ezra?

You know what? [sighs]

I don't even know anymore.

Would you do me up?

Sure.

♪ ♪ My name's Maddie Jonson. No H in Jonson.

I work for a man named the Doctor.

I grew up in Pottsville, Pennsylvania, and my first con was my second cousin, Danny.

I was sitting on my bed wishing I could be somewhere else, could be someone else.

[doorbell rings]

And then... I just tried it.

Hey, Danny. What's up?

You are? I'm Nikki.

Maddie had some sh*t to do after school and asked me to meet you.

Come on in.

Hey, Nikki.

And he believed me.

Just like that.

["Not Used" by Lola Kirke playing]

♪ What's in your line of sight? ♪

♪ Did you sleep well last night? ♪ You're just, uh, stealing their beers?

What are they gonna do... ground me?

I don't even live here.

Ballsy.

If you think that's ballsy, your life must be pretty boring.

♪ If you think I don't think of you... ♪ All right. Give me that beer.

♪ Hope you know that could never be true ♪

♪ I lost you too... ♪ So wrestling is kind of gay, right?

What? No.

That's such an ignorant stereotype.

Wrestling's one of the oldest, most respected s...

Oh, right, all those Greek boys rolling around in the mud.

Come on, that's idiotic.

You got a mouth on you, don't you?

Yeah.

So show me a wrestling move.

'Cause I just don't get it.

[breathing heavily, grunting]

["Baby Butt" by Lola Kirke, playing]

[laughs] Not so easy, is it?

It's not so easy.

But not impossible.

Yeah?

But now what're you gonna do?

♪ ♪ Holy sh*t.

♪ Couldn't see the moon last night ♪

[belt buckle jingles, zipper rasps]

Okay, so you've done this before, right?

Does it matter?

Not really. [chuckles]

♪ Try to make everything all right ♪ Pottsville is a lot different than I remember it.

Must seem pretty boring after Philadelphia, huh?

I don't know. The more experienced I get, the more I realize, you know, I don't know everything.

Mm, true. Well said, well said.

Maddie, dinner's ready.

Sorry. Finishing some math stuff.

Hi, Danny!

I'm sorry I wasn't here to let you in.

Nikki said you were so nice. I thought I said 3:30 sharp.

And who is Nikki? Oh, a new friend.

She helped me out.

She said you guys talked about wrestling a lot.

You even showed her some moves?

Thanks, Mom. I'm totally famished.

And in that moment I knew.

I could be whoever I wanted to be whenever I wanted to be, and for the first time, I felt free.

You okay? Eat up.

Yeah. You're gonna need your energy.

And that was the first con.

First of many.

You know, you could have just become an actress.

Not the same thing.

I was kidding. I don't really care anymore about how you became you.

Really? I thought you wanted the truth.

Oh, I know the truth. I know what really gets you off about being on the con.

Oh, yeah?

Tell me.

See you in the game, Maddie.

[soft dramatic music]

- Right down this way, please. You got it.

There we go. Thank you.

Good morning, ma'am. Can I help you with that?

Do I look like I need help?

Just make sure nobody gets too close to my car.

Yes, ma'am.

What a handsome young man, but that moustache is not flattering.

[dramatic rock music]

♪ ♪ Bride or groom?

Great. Uh, gift room's just over there.

Thank you.

♪ ♪ Bride or groom?

Definitely groom. If that's a present, the gift room is just over... nope.

Okay.

So, how we doing?

I'm amazing. I'm guessing this has to be pretty messed up for you.

Well, you're the one marrying the woman you love even though you know it's total bullshit.

Pretty messed up for the both of us.

Morning, bride or groom? Bride.

♪ ♪ Who are all these people?

Oh, we hired some background artists.

Try to make it look legit for the Doctor.

What? Like movie extras.

Good lord. Even fake weddings are full of ridiculous little games.

[pats leg]

♪ ♪

[clattering]

Hey. [chuckles awkwardly]

Hey, listen. I'm really sorry that we didn't get to talk last night.

It's just, you know, with my aunt and Ezra, it's just kind of...

Complicated? [laughs]

Thought maybe you were avoiding me.

Which I un... totally understand. Oh, no, no, no, no.

It was just... it was complicated. It was just...

I mean, it's wh... like you said.

Wow. It really came together.

Don't sound surprised. You never even saw it.

I know, but it just kind of... I mean, you just really seemed to capture something about this whole crazy wedding.

[soft dramatic music]

Thank you.

[exhales] Oh...

All kinds of fun surprises on this case.

♪ ♪ I should go. Of course.

See if Patrick needs help with anything.

Yeah, see ya.

See ya.

Is he here yet?

No.

Don't worry. He'll be here.

All right.

Morning, sir.

If you'd like to go ahead and just park next to that cone over there. It's a special spot I have waiting just for you.

Thank you, my man.

♪ ♪ Bride or groom?

Definitely bride.

[lightly edgy music]

♪ ♪ That's him.

There you are.

Well done.

Consider it my wedding present to you, darling dearest.

Oh, that's sweet.

All right, it's about that time.

Let's work. Enjoy the show.

[playing "Wedding March"]

♪ ♪

[organ music continues distantly]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[music ends]

We are gathered here today to join this woman, Saffron Keyes, and this man, Patrick Campbell, in holy matrimony.

It is a blessed way of life that all should hold in reverence and none should take lightly.

A covenant by which two people establish between themselves a partnership for the whole of life, based on love, devotion, and trust.

[car alarm blaring]

And interruptions. [laughs anxiously]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

A good partnership can handle an annoying interruption.

[car alarm blaring] There we go.

Come on. Okay.

[lively rock music]

♪ ♪ Come on. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

[grunts] [car alarm stops]

Everything okay here? Yes.

Yeah, these new models are sensitive to changes in the barometric st... and whatnot, but, uh, yeah, reset itself, so all clear.

Dig the moustache.

Very cool.

Thank you.

[sighs] - What a miracle when two people find each other in this world, when seemingly from nothing, love sprouts like a little seedling stretching for the sun.

So what is your real name anyways?

It's actually Patrick.

Not Campbell, though, right?

So many questions, so few answers, and you thought I was hard to get to know.

Isn't it all so incredible?

[laughs softly] Well, I think so.

An exhilarating affirmation of both our faith and our common humanity.

Well, time to get down to the business at hand.

If anyone present knows a reason why Saffron and Patrick may not lawfully marry, they must declare it now or forever hold their peace.

Will you, Saffron Keyes, give yourself to this man, Patrick Campbell, to be his wife, to love and comfort him, honor and protect him, so long as you both shall live?

I will.

And will you, Patrick Campbell, give yourself to this woman, Saffron Keyes, to be her husband, to love and comfort her, to honor and protect her, so long as you both shall live?

I surely will. Wonderful.

And so, by the power vested in me by the State of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

[bells ringing, indistinct chatter]

Vodka rocks. Thank you so much for coming.

[pop music in background]

I think I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look today.

Oh. Truly.

Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for coming.

And I think I forgot to ask you if you were married... to someone other than me that is.

Hi. Congratulations.

Thank you so much for being here.

Interesting.

Auntie!

Hi! Oh, thank you so much for being here on our special day. [chuckles]

Laying it on thick, aren't you?

Well, the Doctor expects me to put on a good show.

He also likes you to pick out stupid-ass names too, huh?

[laughs] Auntie, what a special...

Spare me. Mmm.

[ahem]

What about kids?

Hello, thank you so much for being here.

I didn't say I was married.

Didn't say you weren't.

Squabbling already?

Oh, hi. [laughs]

You know, of all my nieces and nephews, Saffron was always my favorite. Aww.

Honey, this is my uncle, Albert.

Oh, wow. Heard a lot about you.

We're glad you could make it. [laughs]

Treat her well.

Or else you'll have to answer to me, and that's not something you want on your calendar.

Oh, well, I think I can handle you, Uncle Albert.

[all laugh]

Good choice. I like him.

Well, I'll see you on the dance floor.

Oh. Yes, you will.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Appreciate it. Thank you for coming.

[upbeat, edgy music]

♪ ♪

It was beautiful though. - Uh, Gina.

It was... - There's a bogey in the money room.

Your old friend is back.

Copy that. You good?

I gotta check on something.

♪ ♪

I always hated weddings.

Not the Cinderella/ Prince Charming type?

Exactly.

I always liked those little birds that helped with the laundry though.

Hey, come here.

[soft music]

♪ ♪ Sorry I was weird before.

I just... don't know what we're doing, and I mean, I don't wanna get you in trouble with your boyfriend.

Well, I don't wanna get you in trouble with your Auntie.

No, she's harmless. Sure about that?

I am sure about that.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪ Gina, what's going on?

- Gina, you have a fire. Oh, my God!

Oh, sh*t, is this part of your art?

Uh, no, sh*t! Secure the money!

Go get something, quick. Just get something!

Jesus! Oh, sh*t.

Okay, hold on, hold on! Hold on?

[intense music]

♪ ♪

Gina, I can't see anything. Do something about this fire.

Gina, where are you?

She's headed for the briefcase.

[coughing] Where the hell'd you go?

[coughing]

I got it, I got it! Look out!

Ah! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, you're ruining it! You're ruining it!

[coughs] Ah!

It's out, it's done.

We're okay.

Where's the briefcase?

[Gina exhales]

I'm really sorry. It was just... it was... it was on fire.

Hey... hey, maybe it's cool like this.

I mean, maybe Patrick and Saffron are... water signs.

No. You ruined it.

It's ruined.

[indistinct chatter]

What can I say? Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamed about it.

A traditional wedding.

Well, you only get married once.

[laughs softly] Knock on wood.

Oh, so what do you think of your new brother-in-law?

We're still getting to know each other.

Excuse me.

I know how you feel. In my family, we call them the out-laws, not the in-laws.

Right. Yeah.

Hey. Hey.

Hi. You got a sec?

Yeah, sure. What is it?

Not here. Come on.

[pop music in background]

Okay... No, don't to...

Just don't touch it! All right, I just wanna help you get it to the... Okay, are you sure that you have to throw this out?

I mean, maybe we can... I don't want to talk about it!

I'm sorry.

So what... so does destroying your art...

What, does it like disqualify me from being with you again?

I liked our lunch... [chuckles]

And our after lunch a lot.

I'm just really not in a place to trust my feelings right now. What does that mean?

That means no one ever seems to be who they say they are.

Everyone is hiding something or pretending to be something they're not.

Are you talking about Ezra?

No, I mean everyone. Including me.

It's just all one big projection.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Okay.

I need you to be someone, so I pretend to be the person I think you need me to be so hopefully you're willing to be the person I think I need you to be. But what if what I think I need isn't what I actually need? Then what?

Maybe you should just go with what you want.

But what if I don't even know...

[soft music]

♪ ♪ Do you want that? Pretty sure I do, yeah.

So maybe it is just that simple.

[sighs]

[quietly] Maybe.

Or maybe not.

♪ ♪ So what is it?

We weren't supposed to leave the reception until after 2:00. That was the plan.

I know.

How you doing, Ez?

That's it? [chuckles]

Yeah, I'm fine. You?

Great. Great.

Great.

I wanna hear you say it.

That thing you were about to say earlier.

The thing that really gets me off.

It really doesn't matter.

I wanna hear it.

Okay.

When you left me, I was finally forced out of my safe little bubble and I had to become a different... version of me.

Are you thanking me for turning you into a con man?

No, you didn't turn me into anything.

We hit the road, we were living on the grift, and, yeah, it was kind of amazing, and I thought... [laughs]

"Oh, yeah, this is what gets Maddie off.

This... this rush, this is the feeling she lives for."

And then I found you and I realized I was way wrong.

It's not the con that gets you off.

What is it then?

Being loved by someone, but not having to love them back.

Getting in deep, but not having to stick around.

I mean, come on. You almost got to love Patrick.

You almost got to love me.

Bullshit.

You're not tortured.

You're just scared. [laughs]

I'm scared? Petrified.

Because in real life, if you want to feel something, you have to go all the way, and some people are just not cut out for that.

You really wanna know what I think?

No matter what you do, where you go, who you con, who you become, end of the day, you're just that same little girl sitting in her room in Pottsville pretending.

You don't know me.

No?

[overlapping chatter]

[dance music in background]

♪ ♪

[lightly edgy music]

He's on the move.

♪ ♪

The Doctor's on the move. Stand by for the money grab.

[footsteps approaching] All right.

Okay.

Come on.

Come on.

♪ ♪ Almost there. I see it, I see it.

Here we go.

What's he doing? Where's he going?

I d... he didn't take the money. I can see that.

What do we do now? We go after him, right?

No, we cannot do anything until he picks it up.

The Doctor's left the building.

sh*t!

He didn't take the briefcase?

He just walked off.

♪ ♪ All set, Doctor.

You did good, kiddo.

I'll see you at the rendezvous.

See you there. Yep.

Send three teams to follow his car until I say make a move.

I'll find Maddie and find out what the hell is going on.

Copy that.

All right, all agents, it's time to mount up.

Follow the Doctor. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Go, go. [car engine grinding]

What's going on?

Every car is dead? Are you kidding me?

It's dead. Look.

Where's the valet guy?

What's going on? It's dead!

Yeah, it won't start. It's dead.

Let's go! What're you doing?

I don't know. It's not working.

Please don't tell me these cars are dead.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[both breathing heavily]

What the hell are you doing, man?

Keeping an eye on the mark. Why is the Doctor leaving without the money? What?

We are officially in uncharted territory.

Our deal is off. Hey, what deal?

I thought we had a deal. Shut your mouth.

You're going to jail if this is some kind of...

Wait, did you play me?

I don't believe it. You played me?

Ezra, I suggest you calm down. You are interfering...

So I kissed your wife. Well, you know what?

She used to be my wife. Just shut your mouth.

Ezra, I have you, and I have Maddie too.

Don't play with me. Oh, really?

You sure about that?

[suspenseful music]

sh*t. Where you going?

Get the f*ck out of my way.

♪ ♪

[quietly] Oh, sh*t.

Maddie! Don't do this!

[boat engine revs]

This is Agent Simons. Arrest the Doctor.

I don't care if he's got the money or not... just stop him.

Maddie's on a boat headed southeast.

Have Seattle PD check every dock and marina on the southeast side...

He's driving a black Cadillac CTS, Washington plates.

Suspect is, uh, bald, wearing glasses, dark suit.

- They're on the way. Order 12... I don't care!

Just get us the hell out of here!

Agent Simons!

Simons!

It absolutely has to be back by 6:30 for Seniors Bingo. Seniors Bingo.

Got it!

Just get to the highway interchange.

Seattle PD's looking for his car.

They're gonna let us know which way to go.

Ah... damn weddings.

What's that?

Hello, Patrick.

This must be very confusing for you.

We had a deal.

I even signed a contract.

But a lot of people make promises they never intend to keep, right?

[dramatic music]

There's really no easy way to say this, so here it is.

Patrick, you are never going to catch me.

♪ ♪ You're never gonna find me.

♪ ♪ In fact, you will never see me again.

You're gonna ask yourself many questions in the days ahead.

You'll replay every moment we shared together.

This work can mess with your head and you heart.

Wondering how did you let this happen?

Yeah, cheers, bro. Game time.

What clues did you miss?

I got you. You have a deal.

What could you have done differently?

I talked to the Doctor today. He's coming.

He's gonna be at the wedding to get his money.

You know, of all my nieces and nephews, Saffron was always my favorite.

You'll feel many different emotions... anger... humiliation... doubt.

But really, the sooner you accept it, the better it is for everyone.

[siren whoops] Although something tells me, all you're gonna be thinking about is trying to find me.

[police radio chatter]

Roll it down. Hands on the wheel.

Real slow now. License and registration.

Everything all right, Officer?

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪ Sorry there, sir. Have a nice day.

I most certainly will.

[police radio chatter]

Hey, have you seen a woman in a wedding dress?

I don't know.

Are one of you cuties the groom?

[radio chatter continues]

You know, I used to think we were the same, you and I, in a way.

Maybe that's why I started to feel how I felt about you.

Maybe that's why I thought you might actually want to run away together.

You know, like we talked about.

But then I ultimately realized this was just a game for you.

So what I needed from you...

I took.

Good-bye, Patrick.

I wish you luck.

You're gonna need it.

[small laugh]

Wow.

Play it again.

[dashing piano music]

[scoffs]

[exhales]

[car approaching]

Thanks a lot, man. Thank you.

[grunts]

[sighs] It has to be said, that was... Awesome.

Totally... Completely.

Awesome.

Although, seeing her walk down that aisle again...

Yeah, that was... something.

Yeah. Does anybody else feel like no matter what we do, where we go, we'll always be married to that woman?

Till death do us part.

What time does the bus leave?

40 minutes.

I'll get the tickets?

Yeah. Get five, all right?

Five tickets. Got it.

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪ I'm gonna open this suitcase now, and you'd better pray all the government's money is inside.

Maddie, the bumblers are at the bus station.

I have the case.

Get the ring and get to the rendezvous point, okay?

Let's get rid of these amateurs once and for all.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

I don't get it. What the hell is going on?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪ _

[breathes deeply]

Agent, would you please tell me where that ridiculously expensive ring that you gave that woman is?

It's safe. I promise you.

She may be in the wind, but we have the money... and the ring is safe.

[upbeat suspenseful music]

Your attention, please. Bus 43 to San Francisco will be arriving in 30 minutes.

43 to San Francisco in 30 minutes.

Bus 533 to...

F... it. - Leaving in 10 minutes.

[announcement continues in background]

Now boarding, bus 124 to...

The Seattle Department of Transportation did submit recommendations for a traffic plan to a spokesperson, they were unaware of the actual result.

The crash on Monday that shut down I-5 for about eight hours and forced drivers onto surface streets was a frustrating reminder of just how close Seattle is to complete gridlock on a daily basis.

Today felt so good.

We really did something... and we did it all for her. Again.

Again, again, again.

Not me. I did it for us.

For us right here. Richie, really?

That's what I'm telling myself in this moment.

So, yeah, let's just go with it.

Gotcha. Okay, yeah, sounds good, man.

Yeah.

This is on me, guys.

I thought... [scoffs]

I really believed her.

I always believe her. We all do.

Because we want to.

I don't think she was ever planning on coming.

I think her plan was to take the money and the ring herself and cut us loose. Could she really be so...

Smart play, right?

Money, ring, cut us loose.

What'd we expect? Leopard can't change its pants.

Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's...

Right, and she always wanted to be free.

Hey, so did we.

And we're free? You're free of Alice.

Hey, you did all of this without an ounce of help from Alice.

Think about that.

A moderately powerful storm was...

Look, here's the thing, guys.

We have actually gotten pretty good at this, you know?

Man, I have always been good at this.

Remember when I showed up at your house with that FBI badge and totally fooled you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, and I saw right through your ruse and punched you in the face? You mean you sucker punched me after I pinned your ass to the ground.

Well, yeah. Well, you insulted my... our wife.

What do you expect? Yeah, and remember when I made more money than you mooks did in two weeks by throwing myself in front of a car?

Mm... Do you remember that?

Doesn't really ring any bells. No, I don't remember... ow!

That was pretty good. Yeah, that was pretty good.

So, you know, I just... I don't know, guys.

I just got a feeling. I think we're gonna be okay.

I don't feel okay. Yeah, I'm not sure I buy that.

[light music]

♪ ♪ Why are you smiling like an idiot?

Oh, oh. What?

Dude, there's something on your...

Wait, no, no, wait, wait... Is it... where... it's in my hair?

What is it? I got it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

[laughs shrilly] Shh!

[whispers] How? [whispers] How did you...

What did you do?

I... got an early start on the day.

♪ ♪ While everyone was heading to church, I went to Patrick's house and did a little exploring.

[light music]

[electronic beep]

Oh, my God, you fool them all!

The frigging FBI, Maddie, Max...

[both laugh] Crazy genius.

Okay, you know what? You deserve to wear this.

Really, you sure? Yep, it suits you.

Thank you, it means a lot.

Ladies and gentleman, we are about to depart.

Next stop, Tacoma.

- Last stop, San Francisco. [sighs]

Always forward.

All: Never back.

[hopeful music]

♪ ♪

[distant siren whoops]

No, no, I'm not asking for excuses.

Just answer the question.

Why am I here?

Because I'm not doing my job.

Because you're not doing your job.

[cell phone buzzing]

Excuse me.

I gotta take this. It's the office.

What's up, Doc?

It seems we have a situation in Seattle.

Really? - The wedding didn't go as planned.

The FBI was on the guest list.

Really? - Total cluster f*ck.

I completely understand your concern.

You need to find Max and Maddie before the feds do.

Oh, yes, I will.

And those three imposters too.

Right away. [murmurs]

What can I say?

It's your lucky day.

[The Black Keys' "Tighten Up"]

♪ ♪

[exhales]

♪ ♪

♪ I wanted love ♪