04x15 - Girls (And Boys) On Film

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Glee". Aired May 2009 - March 2015.*
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A high school teacher tries to reinvent the Glee Club.
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04x15 - Girls (And Boys) On Film

Post by bunniefuu »

So here's what you missed on Glee: Marley's dating Jake, but Ryder totally kissed her out of nowhere.

Finn kissed Emma, too, and then she freaked out and left Will at the altar.

Everyone felt bad, but not bad enough to waste a wedding reception and everybody hooked up, and I mean everybody.

Now Rachel thinks she might have a bun in the oven and Santana moved in with her and Kurt and Brody lives there, too, except he's gone a lot and carries large wads of cash.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

(chuckles)

Every Jack and Jill at the Carousel Club couldn't take their peepers off of you tonight.

- Oh, applesauce.

- Oh, honest Injun.

And who could blame them?

You're the eighth Wonder of the World, Emma Schuester.

You're sunbeams and angel wings and the Taj Mahal all rolled into one marvelous dame.

And when we dance together, why, my universe becomes topsy-turvy.

Like gravity was never invented.

("You're All the World to Me" begins)

♪ Everywhere that beauty glows you are ♪

♪ Everywhere an orchid grows you are ♪

♪ Everything that's young and gay ♪

♪ Brighter than a holiday

♪ Everywhere the angels play you are ♪

♪ You're like Paris in April and May ♪

♪ You're New York on a silvery day ♪

♪ A Swiss Alp as the sun grows fainter ♪

♪ You're Loch Lomond when autumn is the painter ♪

♪ You're moonlight on a night in Capri ♪

♪ And Cape Cod looking out at the sea ♪

♪ You're all places that leave me breathless ♪

BOTH: ♪ And no wonder, you're all the world to me ♪

♪ You're like Paris in April and May ♪

♪ You're New York on a silvery day ♪

BOTH: ♪ A Swiss Alp as the sun grows fainter ♪

♪ You're Loch Lomond when autumn is the painter ♪

♪ You're moonlight on a night in Capri ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And Cape Cod looking out at the sea ♪

BOTH: ♪ You're all places that leave me breathless ♪

♪ And no wonder, you're all the world to me. ♪

The house is upside down!

("You're All the World to Me" playing on TV)

(panting)

(turns off TV)

(sighs)

Everybody loves movies.

They don't just tell stories...

they transport us to other worlds.

They are inspirational.

They provide comfort, and they help us escape from our day-to-day anxieties.

Like getting left at the altar?

- Too soon.

- Exactly.

Or in your guys' case, studying for exams or...

worrying about regionals.

In any case, for this week's assignment, I want you to pick your favorite songs from your favorite movies.

(cheers and applause)

Unique knows all there is to know about The Crying Game.

KITTY: You don't get dibs on Les Mis just because you are the poster.

SAM (a la Nicolas Cage): Finally I can do my Nicolas Cage impression.

"Oh, not the bees!

No!

The bees!

No!" That is the worst Nicolas Cage impression I've ever seen.

Do you even know who Nicolas Cage is?

WILL: Okay, it's not that simple, guys.

This is a group competition...

boys against girls and we are doing mash-ups.

Now remember, movies are visual.

So it's not just about the singing...

it's about...

performance, it's about theatricality, it's about the language of cinema.

Preach.

And as I move into production on my first micro-budget feature...

(overlapping chatter)

...I'm happy to offer starring roles to whichever team wins.

No trailers, no per diem.

WILL: Great.

Okay.

Well, everyone split up and start working on your song choices.

(indistinct chatter)

- You're making a movie?

- Yeah.

Hey.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Yeah.

We should do The Artist so we don't have to sing.

(bell ringing)

So, how's the case going, Detective Shue?

Her parents are stonewalling me and...

I don't have any other leads right now.

So, what else have you been up to?

Come on.

I'm starting to get worried about you, man.

Finn, you can't just force someone to do something.

Right now it's about taking a step back and giving her some space.

In the meantime, I'm catching up on a lot of old movies.

Really calms me down.

Look...

if she really wants to be with me, then she'll come back on her own.

So, sitting around in front of the TV is somehow supposed to make her want to come back?

Of course not.

I...

Look, I know she's hurt, but I'm hurt, too.

You are a good man, and I really appreciate your concern, - but it's time to leave it alone.

- No, it's-it's not.

It...

It's time to take action.

Come on.

Stand and Deliver.

Zero Dark Thirty.

(sighs)

(bell ringing)

I'm sorry, Finn Hudson.

But even I don't know the whereabouts of the lovely yet fragile Miss Emma Pillsbury.

But I can tell you she's cashed in all of her vacation days.

- But you don't know where she went?

- I have no idea, and frankly, I resent your flabby accusation that just because I wore an exact replica of her wedding dress and was the last person to see her before her Broadway-themed freak-out that I have anything to do with her being missing.

I'm not accusing you of anything.

Well, I assume she's checked into some ginger asylum somewhere now that she's escaped from Will Schuester's living dollhouse of the damned.

Even if I were privy to that information, even if I did know, I certainly wouldn't divulge it to a flop sweat-smelling, fake-teen-teaching, Army-deserting, high school-lurking, sectionals-losing, special needs, baby-hating...

Point is, Sue didn't know.

There has to be some way to reach her, Artie.

We owe Mr.

Shue that.

Finn, let me dispense some Hollywood logic on you, if I may.

What we have on our hands is a lady manhunt.

We need a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse.

- Ain't nobody got time for that.

- Okay, then just talk to her parents.

- You think?

- Pretty sure that's your only lead.

Doin' a lot of the work here.

(bell ringing)

- Guys, Brittany and I were just talking...

- BRITTANY: And we agree that though we love that it's mash-up week and that it's girls versus boys...

It sucks that the guys and the girls can't do a number together, so we were thinking, just as a warm-up, we should do the guys versus girls in the same number, - to kick things off.

- And then the girls can kick the boys' butts.

BLAINE: Uh, or vice versa.

Which is my favorite Fred Savage movie.

SAM: Well, it'd have to be the perfect movie song, you know, like, uh...

"Dream Warriors" from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.

Yeah, or a good song - like "Let the River Run" from Working Girl.

- MARLEY: Or...

- "Wind Beneath My Wings" from Beaches.

- BLAINE: No, no, no, no.

How about this...

the perfect movie song, totally iconic and everyone loves it, a little ditty from the seminal American college comedy...

Animal House.

(The Isley Brothers' "Shout" begins)

♪ Well... ♪

♪ You know you make me wanna ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Kick my heels up and ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my hands up and ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my head back and ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Don't forget to say you will ♪

♪ Don't forget to say, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Say ♪

♪ Say that you love me ♪

♪ Say ♪

♪ Say that you need me ♪

Say ♪

♪ Say that you want me

♪ Say ♪

♪ I still remember

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪

♪ When you used

♪ Wop-wop-wop ♪

♪ To be nine years old

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do- wop-wop-wop-wop ♪

♪ Hey, I was

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪

♪ A fool for you

♪ Wop-wop-wop ♪

♪ From the bottom of my soul

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪

♪ I want you to know

♪ I want to know ♪

♪ I said I want you to know right now ♪

♪ I want to know ♪

♪ You been good to me, baby ♪

♪ Good to me, baby ♪

♪ I said I want you to know right now ♪

♪ I want to know ♪

♪ You know you make me wanna ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Lift my head up and ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my hands back and ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Yeah.

(applause)

ARTIE: I realize this number wasn't in competition, but you do know it's not even a mash-up, right?

(bell ringing)

SANTANA: My first real week in New York and I'm snowbound in Bushwick with a bunch of musical theatre queens.

(imitates Mrs. Patmore): No, you're doing it wrong, Daisy.

(imitates Daisy): I can't do it 'cause I'm in love with William.

I just can't.

It's like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie and this is the scene right before we all eat each other.

Oh, do it again, do it again.

(dramatically): Welcome...

to Downton Abbey.

(Kurt and Adam laughing)

So, where you from, Doctor Who?

Uh, England.

Do you know Essex?

No.

Never heard of it.

Are you guys dating?

Because at Mr.

Shue's b*mb - of a wedding, you and Blaine, like...

- (quietly): Shut up, Santana.

Rachel and I are letting you live here rent-free.

- The least you could do is...

- Where is Rachel anyways?

Giving that living mannequin a bikini wax?

- Uh, Brody is working and Rachel is in the bathroom.

- Well, let's hope that she's embracing her inner bulimic because let me tell you, homegirl has been looking extremely pumpkin-like and not just 'cause of the Tan in a Can.

(door opens)

Okay, that's it!

You're gonna have to move out because this our sanctuary, and by ours, I mean mine and Kurt's, and frankly, you make me feel uncomfortable, and Brody says that you make him feel uncomfortable - as well.

- Girls, girls, retract the claws, all right?

NYADA canceled all the classes because of the snow, so let's just cozy up to our little movie marathon.

Santana, did you go through our DVD collection?

I sure did.

Uh, Knocked Up.

Hilarity.

Rosemary's Baby...

that's obviously Lady Hummel's.

- And, uh, She's Having a Baby.

- RACHEL: I don't want to watch any of those.

KURT: Oh, really, Rachel?

Not even She's Having a Baby?

'Cause you always cry at the end when Elizabeth McGovern has - the baby.

- I'm not in the mood, okay?

I'm not in the mood.

KURT: Okay, fine.

Because I have made a selection that is perfect for being snowed-in in New York City.

Moulin Rouge, b*tches.

We love those dancin' hos.

Seriously?

(gentle orchestral intro plays)

♪ ♪ Never knew ♪

♪ I could feel like this ♪

♪ ♪ Like I've never seen the ♪

♪ Before ♪

♪ Want to vanish ♪

♪ Inside your kiss ♪

♪ ♪ Seasons may change ♪

♪ Winter to spring ♪

♪ But I love you ♪

♪ Until the end ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ Come what ♪

♪ May... ♪

♪ Come what may... ♪

♪ I will ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Until my dying... ♪

♪ Day... ♪

BOTH: ♪ Suddenly the world ♪

♪ Seems such a ♪

♪ Perfect place ♪

♪ Suddenly it moves with such ♪

♪ A perfect grace ♪

♪ Suddenly my life ♪

♪ Doesn't seem ♪

♪ Such a waste ♪

♪ It all revolves ♪

♪ Around you ♪

♪ And there's no mountain ♪

♪ Too high ♪

♪ No river ♪

♪ Too wide ♪

♪ Sing out this song ♪

♪ And I'll be there ♪

♪ By your side ♪

♪ Storm clouds may gather ♪

♪ And stars may collide ♪

(solo): ♪ But I love you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Until ♪

♪ Until the end of ♪

♪ The end of ♪

BOTH: ♪ Time ♪

♪ Come what may... ♪

♪ Come ♪

♪ What may... ♪

♪ I will ♪

♪ Love... ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ I will love you. ♪

♪ Kurt, are you crying?

Um...

no, no.

My-my contacts are...

really bothering me right now.

- I didn't know you wore contacts.

- Yes, Rachel, I just found out I have a slight astigmatism.

ADAM: Oh, I think I might have some solution in my bag.

- No, no, I'm fine.

I'll be good.

Don't worry.

- I would've thought that you were crying because you and Blaine used to talk about how this was your dream to sing this song to each other at your wedding.

Did we?

Yeah.

I remember you telling me that singing this song to someone was a more intimate act than sex.

- Who wants popcorn?

Anyone?

- SANTANA: No.

Hold on.

I'm sorry.

Can we pause this for a second?

Kurt, please sit down.

I have something to say, and I have tried to keep it to myself, but I will be silent no longer.

- What is it?

- That Brody character is a freakin' psycho.

Go on.

- Here we go.

- SANTANA: Listen, when I first met him, totally thought he was weird.

He smelled all talcum-y like a Cabbage Patch Doll.

And then he said that I wasn't a real New Yorker until I had my first makeover, and I was, like, what does that even mean?

Like, who are you?

Oh, come on, Brody's a sweetheart.

That's what I told myself, you know?

I said, "So what if he's completely hairless" "and made out of plastic...

I'm gonna look past the fact that "he probably has a disgusting p*rn star landing strip.

"I'm gonna give Lars "and the Real Boy one more chance." But then I found...

this.

$1,200 in cash.

When did you find that?

Last night when I was rooting through all the pockets and drawers in this apartment.

Wait.

What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Santana, you went through all of our stuff?

Yeah.

That's a thing I do.

- It's completely unacceptable.

- I can't.

Oh, okay.

I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything, but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in and goes through all your stuff, you're offended?

Just because he has a little money on him doesn't mean that he's a psycho.

That's what I thought, right?

Who cares if he's terrified of banks?

'Cause if I were made out of plastic, I'd be scared of a lot of things, too: Open flames, barbecues.

Then...

I found...

this.

What is that?

Is that a garage door opener?

This is a pager, my friends.

And there's only one type of person in this world that carries cash and a pager.

Your friend Brody...

is a drug dealer.

(distorted, echoing boom)

♪ (bell rings)

Okay, so-so let me get this straight.

You brought us here because the "Stop Ginger Bullying Club" founded by our daughter is in trouble.

ARTIE: We're leaderless.

We're hemorrhaging money.

We won't make it to the end of the month.

ROSE: That's horrible.

Rusty, can't we do something?

(sniffs)

You two don't smell like gingers.

What do gingers smell like?

Gingers smell like pennies.

We have a slight coppery odor.

WOMAN: It's true.

When Rusty's away on one of his business trips to Ecuador and...

I'm really missing him, sometimes I shove my face in a bowl full of loose change and inhale really deeply, and it's like he's sitting right next to me.

ARTIE: Look, it's not about the money.

It's about your daughter, Emma.

We just really need our faculty sponsor to come back.

See, it's college application time, and young Artie Seymour Hoffman here really needs a scholarship.

If I were you, I'd forget about the hair and lead with the wheelchair thing.

RUSTY: You don't want Emma's advice about college...

she doesn't know anything.

The kids at this school don't seem to even think about what college they want to go to until about a week before graduation.

That's weird.

You're supposed to figure that out when you're a junior.

Look, I just need her to proofread my personal essay.

All we need is an address.

We just need to know where she is.

(quietly): Thank you.

Oh, my God, it's getting worse out there.

We've been snowed in for 48 hours.

Let's finish watching Moulin Rouge before we lose power again.

- Or start eating each other.

- Oh, no, please spare us.

If I see one more scene of Satine coughing up blood into a handkerchief, I'm gonna start coughing up blood into a handkerchief.

Come on, Santana, it's so good, and we're right in the middle of it.

- Let's put it to a vote.

Yea.

- Oh, house vote.

I say yea.

Yea.

Moulin Rouge it is.

Well, what about Brody's vote?

Or do drug dealers not get to vote?

Okay, he's not a drug dealer.

Please, okay?

It's snowing outside.

He's probably just stranded somewhere.

Do you want me to call him?

Okay.

I'll prove it to you.

(line rings)

Hey, Rach.

Hey, babe.

Where are you?

Aw, the bridges are closed...

I'm stuck at my friend's house in Manhattan.

You remember Leo, right?

Well, I miss you.

We're in the middle of watching Moulin Rouge, and so we're getting to the part where Ewan McGregor cries.

Hey, l-listen, I, uh, I got to go.

I will be back as soon as I can.

(quietly): Okay.

There you go.

Okay?

(whispers): I'm with you.

Drug dealer.

I hope they mash-up "Batdance" with "Howard the Duck." Shh.

(upbeat intro playing)

♪ Revvin' up your engine

♪ Listen to her howling roar

♪ Metal under tension

♪ Begging you to touch and go

♪ Highway to

♪ The danger zone

♪ Ride into the

♪ Danger zone

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Oh, ho

♪ Heading into twilight

♪ Spreading out her wings tonight

♪ Old-time rock and roll

♪ She got you jumping off the deck

♪ And shoving into overdrive

♪ I like that old-time rock and roll

♪ Highway to the

♪ Danger zone

♪ Rock and roll

♪ I'll take you right

♪ Into the danger zone

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ Soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about

♪ The days of old

♪ Old

♪ With that old time rock and roll

♪ I'll take you

♪ Right into the danger zone

♪ Rock and roll

♪ Rock and roll

(cheering)

(whooping)

Yeah!

FINN: Wow!

FINN: Wow.

Okay.

That was awesome.

Where'd you come up with the inspiration for that?

Well, it's our tribute to the early macho cinema of one Mr.

Tom Cruise.

You can't handle the truth.

(quietly): That's actually Jack Nicholson, - not Tom Cruise.

- WILL: Girls.

(whooping)

You're up.

(cheering)

- Wait for it.

- Come on, get out here.

I have a confession to make.

For the past six months, I've sat behind your back and in front of your face that you're poor and fat and mousy and boring and you dress like Zach Galifianakis.

I apologize.

God made me, and he's not through with me yet.

Besides, we're both dating Puckermans, and someday we'll be sister-in-laws and hanging out with Jews together.

I totally saw that look.

What's going on?

If I tell you something, do you swear not to tell anyone?

Swear.

Last week, Ryder kissed me.

OMG.

Was he any good, or did his humongous donkey teeth bite into your lips?

He was good, but...

I still like Jake.

Say no more.

I completely get it.

And you're not a slut at all for playing both sides.

Let me give you some advice, since we're now BFFs.

Boy are like lumps of coal.

They're dirty and cheap and they get hot when they're rubbed.

And some turn into diamonds.

So, collect as many as you can.

("Sparkling Diamonds" begins playing)

♪ A kiss on the hand may be

♪ Quite continental

♪ But diamonds are

♪ A girl's best friend

♪ Girl's best friend ♪

♪ A kiss may be grand

♪ But it won't pay the rental

♪ On your humble flat

♪ Or help you feed your

♪ Yow!

Pussycat

♪ Men grow cold as

♪ Girls grow old

♪ And we all lose our charms

♪ In the end

♪ But square-cut or pear-shaped

♪ These rocks don't lose their shape

♪ Diamonds are

♪ A girl's best friend Tiffany's!

♪ 'Cause we are living

♪ In a material world

♪ And I am a material

♪ Girl

(kisses, sighs)

Come and get me, boys.

♪ Black Star

♪ Ross Cole

♪ Talk to me, Harry Zidler

♪ Tell me all about it

♪ There may come a time when

♪ Best friends

♪ They're our best friends

♪ A lass needs a lawyer

♪ But diamonds are a girl's

♪ But diamonds

♪ Best friend

♪ Best friend

♪ There may come a time

♪ Best friends

♪ When a hard-boiled employer

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Thinks you're awful nice (whoops)

♪ But get that ice

♪ Or else no dice

♪ He's your guy when

♪ Stocks are high

♪ But beware when they start to descend ♪

♪ Diamonds are a girl's best friend ♪

Let's make love.

♪ Best friends ♪

Be our best friends Everything's going so we

♪ Oh...

♪ 'Cause that's when those louses ♪

Oh, oh

♪ Go back to their spouses ♪

Oh ♪ Diamonds are a girl's best ♪

Diamonds

♪ Are a ♪

Diamonds are a girl's best

♪ Diamonds are a girl's best

♪ Girl's ♪ Best ♪

Diamonds are a girl's best ♪

Friend

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...

(whoops)

(cheering)

Wow, come on, you guys.

Let's give it up for girls...

(Will whoops)

♪ What's shakin', bacon?

Oh, hey.

Just practicing my basic pirouettes.

Every aspiring actor needs to know how to do them.

Newsies is lousy with them.

Thanks for giving me shelter from the storm.

I was a little sad we, uh, weren't snowed in a little longer.

Ah, I know, I always get a little sad when the sun comes out and the snow starts to melt and all the snowmen look like they have scoliosis.

But it was nice to hang out with you and, - uh, watch a few movies.

- Well, - a movie.

- A movie.

Look, about that...

Uh...

I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to be honest.

You and Blaine did used to sing that duet together, didn't you?

Yeah.

But it feels like a lifetime ago.

Maybe that's what's hard about it.

You still love him, don't you?

Was I your rebound?

No.

No.

'Cause I can't compete with a fantasy, Kurt.

I desperately want to be over him.

Really, I do.

Good.

Then let's go to the movies right now.

Oh, I'm serious.

We are going to go and find the sappiest love story that we can, and then that will be our movie.

(school bell rings)

Tomorrow, we watch.

Spielberg's Lincoln.

Uh...

sorry.

I found her.

What?

Where?

She's been staying at her sister's house up on Hilltop Lane.

You got to go to her.

I-I think she made it pretty clear she doesn't want to see me.

Well, then you have to make her want to see you.

Come on, Mr.

Shue, y-you don't have a choice.

This is like in the third act of the movie, where the heartbroken guy chases through the crowded city streets to win his girl back, and then he does some big romantic gesture, and the music swells, and then the crowd applauds, and their eyes well up with tears...

And then she'll take you back.

That's just the way it works.

(Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" plays)

♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I get so lost ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪


Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Days pass ♪

♪ And this emptiness ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Fills my heart ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ When I want to run away ♪

♪ When I want to run ♪

♪ I drive off ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ In my car ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ But whichever way I go ♪

♪ But whichever way ♪

♪ I come back to the place ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You are ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ All my instincts ♪

♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ They return ♪ ♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ The grand facade ♪

♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ So soon will burn ♪

♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ Without a noise ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ Without my pride ♪

♪ I reach out ♪

♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ From the inside ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ The light, the heat ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ I am complete ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ I see the doorway ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ To a thousand churches ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ The resolution ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ Of all the fruitless ♪

♪ Searching ♪

♪In your eyes ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, I see the light ♪

♪ And the heat ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

WOMEN: ♪ The light, the heat ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, I want to be ♪

♪ That complete ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

WOMEN: ♪ The light, the heat ♪

♪ I want to ♪

♪ Touch the light, the heat ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ I see in your eyes ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ Oh-ooh-oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ In your eyes. ♪

Will, are you crazy?

Crazy for you.

(chuckles)

But that's Vision Quest, and Matthew Modine skipping rope isn't nearly as romantic as John Cusack holding a boom box.

Please, get down here so I can tell you how much I love you, and how I'm never gonna let you go.

Guys.

Oh, yeah.

You can take off now.

- Oh, can I get my...

- Thanks so much.

See you.

Bye.

All right, great.

Good job.

- It went well.

- Good job.

Thanks, guys.

(sighs)

(laughs)

(bird caws)

I'm sorry I've kept you in the dark for so long.

I know that must have been hard for you.

Hard?

No, losing sectionals is hard.

Losing the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with?

A-And not knowing why?

It was devastating.

I didn't explain because I'm...

I'm not even sure I understand it yet myself.

(sighs)

I-If you were to write yourself a pamphlet, what would it be called?

Seriously.

Um...

"So You're Freaking Out Because the Man You're About to Marry Parades Back into Town, and You Don't Feel Like You Know Him Anymore." Is that really what this is all about?

(sighs)

Why couldn't you just come talk to me about it?

What was I supposed to say, Will?

"L...

let's postpone the wedding, "let's send everybody home, "let's get to know each other - "all over again?" - I...

I would have preferred that to standing at the altar alone with everyone staring at me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I didn't take two seconds to think.

I just...

I just ran.

(sighs)

So, what happens now?

(sighs)

I don't know.

I think we need to start from scratch.

Maybe with a movie on Friday night?

See if we can get to know each other all over again.

I think that would be nice.

(Will sighs)

Okay, New York may be disgusting, especially when it's covered in gray, nasty snow, and the people may be horrible and rude, and some smelly homeless man in pee-stained tighty-whities might have groped me on the subway, and then asked me for a dollar, but I gots to say, I finally feel like I have found my people.

Glad that you found your corner of the sky, Santana.

Where are the Hardy Boys?

Investigating the mystery of.

"God, Could You Be Any More Annoying?" Kurt and Adam are at NYADA.

And Pablo Escobar?

Did he ever come home?

Brody is in the shower.

Where he will be for the next hour, scrubbing the drug shame off of his frictionless body.

- For the hundredth time, okay, if you keep making fun of Brody...

- I'm not.

I mean, I am.

Just, not now.

Okay, look, now that we're alone, I want to talk to you about what I found in your bathroom trash can, underneath the wadded-up tissue paper, the used cotton swabs and the soiled acne wipes.

An item which, unless Lady's Hummel's actually been a lady all these years, could have only be yours.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Rachel...

you're really not gonna tell me about the stick?

You had no right.

Rachel, I'm your friend, you can trust me.

Just tell me what's going on.

(crying)

Oh, God.

You're gonna be okay.

It's okay.

(crying)

It's gonna be okay.

(crying)

(school bell ringing)

Hey.

What's going on in here?

You wanted to see me?

Uh, yes.

I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Valentine's Day.

(sighs)

I lied.

I didn't come up with all that romantic stuff.

Ryder did.

I-I didn't mean to lie.

It's just that all this trust and monogamy...

it's new for me.

I'm into it.

I just...

I got nervous.

I was trying to impress you.

(laughs)

So, I came up with this on my own.

This is not what I think it is.

Oh, yes, it is.

(laughs)

Come here, sit down.

I am singing your favorite song from your favorite romantic movie.

The Hunger Games?

Second favorite romantic movie?

Okay.

(The Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody" begins)

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ My darling ♪

♪ I've hungered for your touch ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Still mine? ♪

♪ Still mine? ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I... ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Need your love ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ To ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Me ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

RYDER AND JAKE: ♪ Lonely river sigh ♪

♪ "Wait for me, wait for me" ♪

♪ I'll be coming home ♪

♪ Wait for me ♪

♪ Wait for me ♪

JAKE: ♪ Time ♪

♪ Ah...♪

♪ Goes by ♪

♪ So slowly ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ And time can do ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Still mine? ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ I ♪

RYDER AND JAKE: ♪ Need your love ♪

JAKE: ♪ I... ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ To ♪

JAKE AND RYDER: ♪ Me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ah. ♪

Oh, Jake, stop.

I'm sorry.

Uh...

(sighs)

I lied about Valentine's Day, too.

I knew it was Ryder.

But I didn't care because it was so sweet that you tried.

Ryder kissed me.

And I let him.

Jake.

Are you...?

Jake?

Jake, don't leave.

(school bell ringing)

Girls rule, as usual.

And we should win for these sweet glasses alone.

WILL: Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come for the announcement of this year's mash-off winner.

(whooping)

Who of course, will be starring in my senior film project...

Hollywood Hootenanny, a tribute to dance on film.

WILL: And the winner is...

everyone.

- What?

- Why do you always do this?

- That's insane.

- This is a sham.

(overlapping chatter, Brittany grunts loudly)

Why don't you just send Maria Shriver in to give us all hugs?

In reality, what you're saying is, we're all losers.

Why did we bother having a competition in the first place?

Calm down, y'all.

Calm down.

After exhaustive storyboarding and pre-production, I realized that I needed a lot of talented bodies to make this film great.

So, choosing one winner was just simply impossible.

That is exactly right.

Uh, Finn, can I talk to you in the hallway for a sec?

Ooh!

ARTIE: Yeah.

Everybody's gonna in it.

So, who's the lead?

Who's gonna be the lead?

ARTIE: There is no lead...

There's no lead.

Yeah, 'cause there's no point.

(overlapping chatter)

No.

You guys are awesome together.

I mean...

We're gonna be the leads.

Yay!

Yay!

(overlapping chatter)

Boy meets girl, boy loses girl.

Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day.

Thank you.

Yeah, I-I...

I mean, you would have done the same thing for me.

You have, like, probably a thousand times.

So, uh, you and Miss Pillsbury talked it all out?

Yeah.

I mean, I actually think all this craziness was for the best.

I mean, I actually think it's going to make our relationship stronger.

She say anything about me?

No.

Why would she?

Because I kissed her.

Well, she...

she was freaking out about the wedding, and going all AC/DC, and I-I tried to calm her down.

And then I just...

I kissed her.

But I didn't mean to because I don't even think of her like that.

I swear.

And I tried to tell you, but I couldn't, because I knew that it would ruin everything, and it's all my fault, so just...

just go ahead and just-just punch me, or whatever, because I deserve it.

I'm so sorry.

(sighs heavily)

(school bell ringing)

(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" begins)

♪ I've been workin' so hard ♪

♪ I'm punchin' my card ♪

♪ Eight hours for what? ♪

♪ Oh, tell me what I got ♪

♪ I've got this feeling ♪

♪ That time's just holding me down ♪

♪ I'll hit the ceiling ♪

♪ Or else I'll tear up this town ♪

♪ Tonight I gotta cut loose ♪

♪ Footloose ♪

♪ Kick off your Sunday shoes ♪

♪ Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees ♪

♪ Jack, get back ♪

♪ Come on, before we cr*ck ♪
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