04x05 - The Coach

[bunniefuu]

It's an unwinding, the molto accelerando.

It's like a tape going backwards.

Like an unwinding.

My God, this... That's an unwinding.

- That...
- He's trying. Hey.

I need someone who can
play the flower pots.

- I can play the flower pots.
- No.

You're already the boyfriend and the coach.

Anyway, how's your, uh,
Requiem preparation going?

It's kind of... it's-it's going.

Oi.

Hai Lai, you know, when I
first came to the orchestra,

I wanted to fire, like,
% of all the musicians.

But then, I-I couldn't, because
I fell in love with them.

Yeah, but we live with him.

- But the scout doesn't know that.
- I don't know.

I already need to find a new flautist

because Morgan went on
tour with Drake, and...

You only get to do this once, Hai Lai.

I'm having a vision.

You're conducting the Requiem.

You throw off your mink cape,

and your bare skin is
covered in Swarovski crystals.

- Mm?
- And you know, for the Lacrimosa,

I was thinking of bringing
the timpani to the front,

because he was humming that when he d*ed.

Play the melody, not
the spiritual struggle.

That's what people want.

What did it feel like when you d*ed?

Fabulous.

Mm.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Um...

It's not working out with the Shaw.

And I know that you can get it,

just not in the time that we have.

Are you, are you f*ring me?

No. No, I'm not f*ring you.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I'm-I'm just giving you the week off.

Just for the performance.

I think you're a great musician.

Just not good enough for Hailey Rutledge.

Uh...

- I'm fired.
- No. Only temporarily.

Really? You're just gonna ditch him?

No, I'm just doing
what's best for the music.

Well, then, I'm out, too.

Wait, what?

No, no, no, no, no.

f*ck.

What's the problem?

Credit card declined.

Perhaps you maxed it out on

the five motorcycles you bought
for your mechanical orchestra.

I'm
glad we're not married.

- Maestro Hesby's here.
- Hesby!

- Gloria, here.
- Dahlias.

- How did you know these were my favorite?
- Well, I didn't.

They were in the doorway
already, but you're welcome.

- How are we, tell me?
- Hi, Hesby.

Hi... oh.

Uh, who are those from?

Oh, no, mm. A donor.

Well, I finished the symphony.

- What?!
- What?

- Ah! Hooray!
- Huzzah!

Well, hey, you came...
Brought it in under a decade.

Yes, eight years I've been blocked.

And then, I was watching the news,

and I kept hearing these words,

"fraud" and "scrutiny"

- and "obstruction."
- Ha, ha.

I've been up for three days.

I finished the last movement.

It's on, uh, paper towels

and a, and a floral hand cloth.

- Oh.
- I call it "Asyla,"

which is plural for "Asylum,"

which is the world we live in today.

It's the best thing I've ever done.

Let's premiere it in a month.

Maybe it's terrible.

M-Maybe I should tear it up.

No.I'm sure it's amazing.

And it couldn't be a better time.

Yeah, she needs a fresh start

because she almost k*lled the Pope.

- On purpose?
- Could you make us some tea,

- please, darling...
- Hmm? Oh.

...while Hesby plays,
because this is for employees

of the symphony only.

- Oh. Well.
- Yeah.

Milk and sugar?

Yes. Thank you.

- Thank you. All right.
- All right, so start here.

Winslow.

Darling...

I can barely hear you.

I've been at an ashram.

I know you've been in a bloody ashram.

Took us weeks to find you.

But you're sending me to sleep.

I wasn't happy with my playing.

But three months of total silence

have wakened my ears up.

I can hear your shirt

rustling against your
chest hairs right now.

w*nk*r.

And I can hear that, also, obviously.

I've got something for you.

Alan, we need some Tibetan singing bowls.

Uh, take a break.

- Some... singing what?
- Tibetan singing bowls.

I'd be afraid.

I don't feel fear anymore, Cynthia.

Only love.

And disgust.

Your sound has changed

from what it once was.

It's become more aggressive.

And more vulnerable.

Why is that?

I guess I know what it feels
like to not be able to play.

So much better being on
the other side of the curtain.

Yeah.

Okay. Shall we?

I have that nude circus coming in at : .

All right, number one,
are you ready, please?

Technically very good, but I need someone

a little bit more human. Next!

Um, thank you, that was great.

Nope. Sloppy détaché.

Thank you. Next!

Yeah. There is no "next."

Did you find someone?

Oh, my...

Look, maybe you just have to
lower your standards a little.

- No.
- No.

You should've seen him
right before we went on.

He almost cried.

I haven't had an audition in years.

Are you guys sure you
want to play this music?

I asked Dee Dee

if he wanted to play the
flower pots and he said...

I love to play the flower pots.

We want to see him play the flower pots,

and play for you.

We're so proud of you.

Hai Lai, I know this is a little
bit too much in the orbit...

No. I want the best
musicians for the piece.

Okay, and this is where
Karl comes in, right?

- And does the, does the...
- No, there's no jetes.

- There's no more...?
- There's no Karl.

Why? What happened to Karl?

Watching him be you, it
was a little artificial.

- I think you should be you.
- Okay.

But I... you know, to be
honest, I'm a little stuck.

Guys, can we show him the sequence so far?

- Okay.
- Five, six, seven, eight.

Okay.

And then there's a kind
of decomposition motif.

Okay.

I like this moment.

Oh, no. Man.

They're becoming like zombies, no?

- Yeah, that's a good point.
- Aah!

Mischa, a little bit
more life to Anna Maria.

Up on the table.

There you go.

And you know what, Rodrigo?

Why don't you bite her?

Yes. Yes, yes.

You have rabies.

Yes.

I like it. Yes.

I'm not sure about the biting.

Well, it's how we show how you infect them.

Yeah, but biting,
infection, is a bit too...

- No? Like...
- You know, you're right.

You don't have to touch
them. You just, y-you...

you drive them mad with your conducting.

- Okay.
- Right? Like, like Alessandra.

Okay, well, with that...
Suddenly, it doesn't make sense,

because, yes, I did the...
she was already, you know?

- Right.
- And I made a mistake there.

But here with the orchestra,
I mean, they're not mad.

I wish they were, but
they-they're just mad

about the bathroom breaks, that's all.

You're right again. What
if they're indifferent?

They're adrift, they're floating.

But where does that leave you?

That's where I'm stuck.

What if we go back to the Faust?

- Like, we think Faust.
- I don't know, I think maybe

the oboe player might be the key.

Hmm?

What...

Hey. Hey.

Egon, Egon, Egon, why-why
is she hurting me? I...

I love Hai Lai, come on.

Well, show me how you love her.

- How would you love her?
- Okay.

Um...

I don't believe that you love her.

What if you don't love her,
but you need her to love you

or you'll drown?

Nice.

I like it.

I...

I don't know.

Thank you. Thank you, Natalie, but, uh,

- I don't like this anymore.
- We'll try something else.

No, no, no. No, I don't
want to try something.

I'm-I'm done, Egon.

I'm done.

- You're done?
- Yes.

- What do you mean?
- I don't want to do this anymore.

Okay, so you're not up for the work.

I'm always up for the
work. That's the problem.

Everyone, a little round of applause.

Thank you. Thank you so
much for your precious time.

I really appreciate it.

Everyone, let's watch how he exits.

I think I left my f*cking keys.

- Where are they?
- We can use this.

We can still do the piece.

- Where's my keys? I left them...
- Where's my keys?

- I know, they're-they're right...
- Where's my keys?

- They're here in my pocket.
- Where's my life?

Hey, yeah, stop, guys.

- Stop.
- Stop. Stop, guys.

- Stop!
- Stop.

Ya basta.

- Enough!
- Ciao.

- Ya basta.
- You'll be back!

Warren.

Do you see the, uh, "X" marked on

- bars two and three?
- Yeah, I was wondering what that was.

Try playing that like a scratchy stop.

- "Scratchy stop"?
- Yes.

Think of it as like a punctuated hit

that launches us into the next piece.

Try it, please.

Um, what I'm looking
for more of is like a...

sudden angled pop.

I'm not sure...

Okay. Um...

Warren, you know the
feeling when you're standing

on top of, like, a very tall building

and you kind of want to
jump, but then you don't,

but it's just the idea
that's kind of thrilling?

Or like when you're on a
really high-speed train...

...and it takes a sudden turn,

and then your stomach goes into your ears.

And so I was just talking
and I couldn't stop myself

from talking, even though I was kind of

just, like, watching myself talk.

And Warren is just sitting
there, looking at me

like he's literally
asleep with his eyes open.

I love you, Hai Lai.

I don't need you to love me.

We're saying that now?

- Yeah, we say that all the time.
- No, we don't.

For many years, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've been saying that.

I love you and I don't need you to love me.

Well, I do... love you.

Warren Boyd.

He's a very sleepy character.

All musicians are. They're
very bad with words.

They-they don't listen
that well with words.

Did you just put your coaching hat back on?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

The-the hat,
the-the slippers,

- the-the heavy thing, yes.
- Yes.

What you're saying is very good,

but in Japan you'll only have time for,

like, minutes to
work with the orchestra.

Well, I haven't even gotten in yet.

Well, just, you know,

learn to give them what you want, you know?

- Okay.
- With-with no sermon.

- No sermon.
- No.

You'll be behind the podium, Hai Lai,

so the instruments can be
with their musicians, you know.

Just make yourself huge.

- Bigger, like a vision, like a vision.
- Ooh!

- You know?
- I feel kind of silly right now, though.

Yeah, well, it's very silly,
yes, because everything we do

is-is kind of ridiculous.

This is very different
than my lessons with Thomas.

Yeah? Which way?

All right, okay.

We really need to focus now. Get up.

- Mm? Focus, okay. Yes, yes, focus.
- Yes.

Okay, so I'm the mirror, okay?

And you do the conducting, okay?

Okay, wait, Hai Lai, Hai Lai, the...

What? It's a bit too much, no?

Oh, that's, uh, so that they know

that I'm referencing the opening.

Okay. Okay, well, they
don't need to know, you know.

- They just need to play.
- I feel like they do need to know

so that they can play.

- Okay, but try it without words.
- No words?

No.

I don't understand.

How can you play something that just...

disappears? I've never
experienced that. I don't know.

But what's to understand?

Just play the
music and cash the checks.

This is the reason why Mozart left me.

I have nothing to give to this piece.

I'm gonna have to stop you right there.

You're sad, and I'm sorry...

but I don't do sadness.

Best of luck to you.

You've got keys.

Use them!

All right!

"Thomas Pembridge's Queens Phil

has emerged like a
phoenix on a motorcycle."

- Well, that's wonderful.
- Listen to this.

"We're finally awake
after being lulled to sleep

"by the New York Symphony,

"whose crumbling ceiling might have proved

to be too apt a metaphor."

Oh, what?!

That fickle assh*le.

We're announcing Hesby's "Asyla" next week.

We'll see what they're writing then!

Oh, you... wait.

- You mean my old friend, Hesby?
- Yeah.

Ah, yes, the-the Hesby
who I introduced you to,

who would never have taken that commission

if I hadn't told him to.

The symphony commissioned
him, and you quit the symphony

to go play with your scooter bikes.

Who sent this?

- Oh.
- Ooh, it's got... oh, lovely chocolate.

Just a donor.

Mm, lovely.

They keep coming, don't
they? These little packages.

Let go.

Who keeps sending you these gifts?

- Let me have it.
- Mm, no, no.

All right, I'm here.

- Go. Get your lesson.
- You sure you can take waiting?

It's harder than you think.

Oh, I'm sorry. I need to
be a mouthy -year-old

to do a good job?

_

You know what? Never mind.

_

Hey, I meant like in money.

You think you're the first
teenager to act like a punk?

I wrote the f*cking book.

Now I'm supposed to be
a one-handed waitress

for an ungrateful little prick?

f*ck.

What's wrong?

I was really stupid.

I f*cked up my wrist again.

It's f*cking stupid. I'm
stupid about a lot of things.

I'm supposed to call a
doctor, but, you know,

he's gonna say take another year's rest.

f*ck.

Oh, sh*t.

You know, you have to really want this.

- What?
- Music.

The drums.

You want it?

It's the only thing I like doing.

Then ask me.

Ask me to help you... with respect.

Can you please take over my
shift so I can go practice?

Yeah.

But if I ever hear you
talk about a girl or a woman

the way you talked to me, we're done.

Okay.

Hailey, I'm still not sure
about that notation. I...

Hailey, what's up?

Uh, throat?

You have no throat.

Laryngitis.

Is it contagious?

- It's a laryngitis of the mind.
- Interesting.

Oh.

Got it. Cool.

How...

Not like that?

Oh, you want me to go ponticello.

Oh, you...

You want me to
dance around like a little girl?

I'm sorry, Maestra.

They're my first and best critics,

because they don't lie.

Here, Thomas, look in Swoozie's eyes.

There's a simple, gentle truth there.

- See what she thinks of.
- Yes, beautiful, beautiful.

I want to show you something.

What do you think, now? What do you think?

Hey, Winslow!

What are you...? Come here.

Look. Max's Kansas City. Huh?

- Ah.
- That was Bowie...

- That elbow there.
- You remember?

We bombed around this town
together, the three of us.

God, I feel like I'm back there now.

You have to fight to keep from calcifying.

You do realize, don't you,

that by letting Gloria debut your piece,

I mean, that's exactly what you're doing?

What about the three of
us doing the premiere?

- Yes.
- I mean, we could do that.

- It'd be a sort of a reunion, huh?
- Maybe we could.

Yeah?

No. No. No, no, no, no, we can't.

- We can!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't you remember we used to say,

if we are truly collaborative,
we will experience...

...unity!

- We were on LSD!
- But we meant it.

And don't you still believe those things?

I mean, it wasn't until I got
back together with Thomas again

that I truly felt set on fire!

Literally.

She's commissioned the piece. It's hers.

Come on, let's f*ck things
up and let's just go have

some g*dd*mn fun! What do you say?!

- Come on, let's do it.
- Exactly.

Gloria, I want you.

I need you.

I shouldn't even be here.

- Have you enjoyed my gifts?
- I have.

But you're wasting your money.

I'm already taken.

The Guggenheim Museum wants you

to be our next executive director.

Hilla von Rebay envisioned this place

as a temple to the spirit.

Come, shepherd that spirit into a new age.

Come join the big leagues.

The New York Symphony is the big leagues.

Yes, but our donors are not

just the crème de la crème of New York.

They come from all over the world.

Oh.

- That is tempting.
- And the best part:

unlike your moody
musicians or conductors...

the art doesn't talk back
and won't go on strike.

Any rats at the Guggenheim?

No rats, Gloria.

Just look me in the eye
right now and tell me

that you're % satisfied
with the symphony,

that you want to stay
and that I should drop it.

And I will.

Let's have some more wine.

Is that him?

Mm, no. Which one?

- The guy with the mustache?
- Oh, no.

That's Antonio from the nude circus.

No, the guy behind him.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no,
no. That's not him. No.

- I'm so glad that you're here.
- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, I was just under the weather.
- Okay.

I wasn't gonna miss this for anything.

Thank you so much.
Okay, um, get settled in.

Sasha is gonna fill you
in on the few changes,

- and, uh, I'll see you soon.
- Okay. Enjoy.

Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t!

What?

Puta madre. Hai Lai, they called in

Arnar Valgirsson to be the scout.

- Who is that?
- He's a top critic of music in Iceland.

They call him the Stinking
Shark of Reykjavík.

He once gave me a really bad review.

A horrendous review. Don't worry about him.

Don't worry, don't worry.
He said that I was a...

a tropical bird with no
wings. How f*cked up is that?

- That's really f*cked up.
- No?

Hey, Hai Lai, I was thinking...

You know the last ten bars of the piece?

You could do without them, don't you think?

You can just cut them.

You know, I don't think
the music needs them.

I think Caroline Shaw
meant for them to be there,

so I'm gonna keep them.

Okay, okay. Well, okay, but, you know,

it's not about Caroline Shaw
right now, it's about you.

It's about you and the
music, about the freedom.

- There's no donors, there's nothing.
- Yes.

Just really try things, you know?

Just do what's good for the music.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Okay, great. And the viola section...

- Did you find someone?
- I'm gonna try something new.

- Don't worry about it.
- Ah, a surprise.

- Okay, surprise. Okay.
- Okay.

Mierda, Hai Lai, mierda, mierda!

Why is my dad here?

I told him to come.

Are you out of your f*cking mind?!

- Why would you do that?
- Because I think it's something

that you have to go through, Hai
Lai. You have to confront him.

I need you to tell him to leave.

Otherwise I'm not gonna be able to do this.

Okay, I can tell him to leave.

- Okay.
- Or, or...

you can go onstage and k*ll yourself.

- What?!
- Yes, yes. Do a sacrifice, Hai Lai.

Yes. Grab that little
girl that thinks stuff like

"you're the best or you f*cking
suck"... you know, those voices

that your father has in your head...

And just throw them out of the window.

Throw them, like they're a boomerang.

Boomerangs come back, though.

But... but it depends how you throw them.

Okay, you can't run and make music

at the same time, you know;
you have to take a breath.

You have to confront this. All right?

I swear, because afterwards
the whole Japan thing,

really, is just gonna be like a quark.

A quark?

Just a little thing of an atom.

You can't watch.

Eso.

Good evening.

We're the Hailey Rutledge Ensemble.

Tonight we have the privilege

of debuting a new piece by Caroline Shaw.

I also have my father
here, from North Carolina.

And I wouldn't be here without him.

So, thanks for coming.