01x05 - Adventures and Daily Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Goblin Slayer". Aired: October 2018 to present.*
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A famous goblin hunter goes on a quest to save the land from ravaging goblins.
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01x05 - Adventures and Daily Life

Post by bunniefuu »

Ex.

[MANAGER] How are the promotion exams going?

So far so good.

We've got one today and one tomorrow.

[gasps] This applicant.

She's the one who's been working with Goblin Slayer lately.

Remind me who this Goblin Slayer is?

-Oh.

That guy.

-Yes, that guy.

[MANAGER] Forget I said anything.

[COWGIRL grunting]

-Good morning!

Finally awake?

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] Yes.

-Everything okay?

-No sign of goblin activity.

That's not what I mean, actually.

I'm talking about you.

You collapsed as soon as you got home from that quest.

I'm worried you're pushing yourself too hard.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I rested for days.

Only three.

You need more than that.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] It was just exhaustion.

Nothing to worry about.

Although, I was told that my refusal to take care of myself is a problem.

By that priestess girl?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] No, another adventurer.

Oh!

So you're going out with more people now?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Just once so far.

[COWGIRL] So far?

That makes it sound like you plan on working with them again.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] Does it?

-Mm-hmm.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I see.

[villagers chattering]

[footsteps echoing]

[sqeaking]

[shrieking]

[grunts]

-k*ll it already!

-I'm trying, okay?

-[shrieking] -[grunts] Ouch.

Are you all right?

It didn't get me.

I'll need this.

[grunting] I can't get it to come out!

[rat hisses, roars] Not good.

What do we do now?

I can't-- Chief of Justice, Lord of the Sword, Ward of the Scale, may your forces manifest!

Holy Smite!

[screeches]

-[sighs]

-It must be nice.

Miracles from the gods make things a lot easier.

You know it's not that simple.

They only answer my wishes once a day, so the rest of the time, I'm--

[insects chittering]

[CLERIC screams]

Quick!

We need to run!

[gnawing, crunching]

[GUILD GIRL]

You weren't able to complete the quest, so there's no reward.

I'm sorry.

[BOTH] Yes, ma'am.

And I think you'll probably want to find somewhere to wash up as soon as you can.

[BOTH] Yes, ma'am.

[WARRIOR] I've got to find a way to get my sword back.

You're right.

Giant rats and insects aside, it would be a waste to leave it down in the sewer.

Well, yeah.

But how am I supposed to fight those things without a sword?

-Do you have any money?

-I'm flat broke.

-Then what are we going to do?

-Get a loan maybe?

Going into debt's not what we need right now.

Not money.

I thought I would see if someone would let me borrow their spare w*apon.

-Who, exactly?

-No clue.

I'll go get this signed while you finish up.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] All right.

Orcbolg?

What are you doing?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Unloading cargo.

That was quite a b*ating you took.

You all right?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I am.

I was distressed to hear that you were asleep for three days.

You appear to be back on your feet now, though.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Yes.

Please forgive me, but there is a favor I'd like ask of you, if I may.

-You see...

How can I put this?

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] Just say it.

I wondered if you have any more of that particular item?

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] What item?

-Scaly, here, wants cheese.

-He's been whining non-stop.

-I swear, for three solid days, he's done nothing but talk about cheese.

Will this do?

-[moaning] -You can pay the guild for it.

[PRIEST] Yes, certainly.

Thank you very much, Sir Goblin Slayer!

-[ARCHER] So, Orcbolg.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] What is it now?

Well, it's just...

I don't know if you've heard, but we took on a new quest surveying some ruins.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] I see.

-So, um, you know, it's possible we'll ask for your help or something.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I'll think about it.

[laughs] You do that.

We'll be going now.

Why must you always make things so complicated?

Just come right out and ask him to join us.

-[ARCHER grunts] Shut up, dwarf!

-Oh!

I will sh**t you!

Nectar!

-All done, thank you.

-Great!

Have a nice day.

[SPEARMAN] Lost your w*apon, huh?

Yeah, that's not good.

I'd like to go back and retrieve it, but I'm unarmed.

I was hoping somebody might have a spare I could borrow.

Hey, look.

I've got plenty of spare weapons, so I could lend you one and all.

But you're not strong enough to wield them.

Weapons are tricky.

If you use one that's not a good match, you could get into all sorts of trouble, yes?

Right.

I know that.

I'm sorry.

Dumb question, I guess.

[WITCH] Just a moment.

-[gasps]

-It's no sword, but I believe this may help.

[WARRIOR] A candle?

[WITCH] Yes, indeed.

It's very useful for finding things.

Ah.

[gasps]

[giggles]

A marvelous item.

You see it grows hot when you get close to what you seek.

I suppose, you could sell it for cash instead of using it, if you want.

Oh, wow, that's really generous of you.

-Thank you very much.

-Don't mention it, dear.

It's no trouble.

I'm simply happy to help.

All right, then.

Time to head out.

Well, I guess I'll see you back home.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Okay.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I need some repairs.

[BLACKSMITH] Aah!

Again?

You're always destroyin' my work.

You need to learn to be careful.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I am careful.

You ought to learn about sarcasm, too.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I'd like you to procure a scroll, as well.

[BLACKSMITH] Scrolls are hard to come by, not to mention expensive.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Cost isn't an issue.

If some adventurer comes around here lookin' to sell one, then I'll buy it, but I wouldn't go gettin' your hopes up.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I understand.

That's fine.

[PRIESTESS] Goblin Slayer!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I'm running into everyone today.

[PRIESTESS] I wanted to show you something.

Look!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] So you're obsidian-ranked now.

That's right!

I had my promotion exam yesterday.

I wasn't certain that I'd get it, but apparently, fighting an ogre really gave me an edge.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I see.

Congratulations.

It's thanks to you.

Without all your help, I never would've gotten this far.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I didn't do anything.

Of course you did.

You saved me the first time we met.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Maybe.

The rest of your party didn't make it, though.

I know.

Still, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have survived, either.

But I did, and I wanted to thank you properly.

I can't tell you how grateful I am.

And now, I'm going to go to the temple and tell Mother Superior about my promotion!

Nope, not a chance.

I just lost my own sword, so I have to use a loaner.

The boss would k*ll me if I let somebody else borrow it.

Wow, you too?

What happened to it?

He had an unfortunate encounter with a giant slug.

Those things are disgusting.

A giant slug, huh?

That's gross!

[CLERIC] We're porcelain-ranked.

Those two are both silvers.

You can't compare us to them.

-[whines]

-[sighs]

You said you guys were out hunting rats?

That's right.

My sword got stuck in one.

Look at that.

I'm so jealous.

I want a two-handed blade.

-Like that great sword he has.

-[CLERIC] Don't be an idiot.

You'd collapse just trying to hold that thing.

Not to mention, it costs M-O-N-E-Y.

[whines] Aw.

You broke the poor guy's heart.

You know, if you talk to the guild, they might be able to help.

[CLERIC] You think they'd lend him a w*apon?

[DRUID] No, I meant ask how to slay those rats.

They could have some useful suggestions.

[CLERIC] It can't really be that easy, can it?

[voices chattering] Oh!

Goblin Slayer!

-Pardon me.

-Oh, yes?

Uh...

[GUILD GIRL] You're asking me for information on how to slay giant rats?

Sorry, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way.

We leave these sorts of things for adventurers to handle precisely because they're so difficult to deal with.

-We're desperate, here.

-Anything at all would help.

Please, we're begging you!

Well, you may have already thought of this, but you could try strengthening your defense -with chain mail or other armor.

-Except we don't have any money.

You know, if it's advice you're looking for, perhaps another adventurer would be the best person to ask.

-Huh?

-Uh...

[WARRIOR] You mean, Goblin Slayer?

[GUILD GIRL] Is that a problem?

-I don't think he'd help us.

-Yeah, um, we've said some pretty rude stuff about him before, so.

I wouldn't worry.

I'm not sure he even notices that sort of thing.

[CLERIC] He won't get mad?

[GUILD GIRL] No.

You'll be fine.

[voices chattering]

-[CLERIC] Excuse me.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] What is it?

We wanted to ask you something.

If you lose your sword, what's the best way to fight enemies?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Steal one from a goblin.

Okay, but we're not fighting goblins.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Oh.

Have you ever used any w*apon other than a sword?

No.

And we don't have any money, either.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] In that case, how about a club?

-[WARRIOR] A club?

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] Yeah.

Throw, s*ab, break, shatter.

There are plenty of ways to k*ll a goblin besides using a blade.

Would it work on rats and bugs, too?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Probably.

I'm sure being hit with one would at least hurt them.

Plus, clubs don't get nicked like swords do, so the maintenance is easier.

Easier.

A club, huh?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] That's what I would do.

What do you mean the observer can't come?

I guess there was an incident on a quest.

Do you know someone else who can do it?

Well, actually.

I might.

[GUILD GIRL] Goblin Slayer!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Are there goblins?

Not today.

But I was just-- No, wait!

Please don't leave!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] But you said there were no goblins.

Yes, that's true.

And I know they're your specialty, but...

does absolutely everything have to involve, you know...

goblins?

[sighs]

[door creaks closed]

-[GOBLIN SLAYER]

Keep it short.

-I will!

You see, I've found myself a bit understaffed.

I was hoping you might fill in for an observer who can't make it today.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] An observer?

For a promotion exam?

[water lapping]

[CLERIC] I just think about finding the sword, and the candle's supposed to react, right?

-Is it?

-Uh...

I think it feels warmer when I point it in this direction.

Which means my sword's that way!

[BOTH gasp]

[rats growling, crunching]

[WARRIOR]

Found them.

[hisses]

-[screeching]

-[grunts]

Bastard!

-[shouts]

-[rat grunts]

-Die!

Die!

Die!

-[rat squealing]

[rat screeching]


-Where's the other?

-It's gone.

So, what do you think of the club?

Well, it's effective, at least.

A handful of good whacks was enough to k*ll the rat.

Plus, it suits you better than a sword.

Oh, shut up.

Uh...

[giggles] All right, then, if you're ready, we will now begin the promotion exam.

Yeah!

I'm absolutely ready.

I say we skip past sapphire and emerald and go right to ruby.

No, scratch that.

Just promote me straight to bronze!

I'm sorry.

That's not how this works.

The leather armor and boots you're wearing, -those are new, right?

-Yep.

They sure are.

Did you notice the quality of the boots?

Not only are they well-made, I had them altered to fit me perfectly.

I find it interesting that you're so much better off than your peers, considering the same quests are available to everyone.

Oh, no, wait.

I can explain.

It's just.

I, um...

I was running kind of low on funds, so I had my family send me some money, that's all.

-A lie.

-[gasps] On the name of the Supreme God, I swear, what this man just uttered was false, a lie.

[RHEA SCOUT] Sense Lie!

The ability to see through lies.

Damn it.

Curse these seekers!

Apparently, you just acquired new gear in a raid at the ruins.

Oh!

I think I understand what happened.

While the others thought you were scouting, you found a treasure chest, which you kept for yourself until you could sell the contents.

No, please.

It's not as bad as it looks, I swear!

I'm sorry!

[GUILD GIRL] Absolutely unacceptable.

This sort of thing is exactly what's led to the widespread prejudice against other rheas and scouts.

But since this is your first offense, demoting you to porcelain and banning you from adventuring in this town should be sufficient.

Whoa!

Hold on a second!

That's ridiculous!

You're not seriously gonna kick me out just for keeping one little treasure chest to myself, are you?

[gasps] Are you some sort of imbecile?

An adventurer who would betray the trust of his party doesn't deserve the title.

You are hereby demoted on the grounds of falsifying a reward.

You won't be removed from town, but you may no longer work here.

Huh?

Don't go getting any foolish ideas.

Hey, Goblin Slayer, don't let them do this to me!

You've been out on quests, you know what it's like.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Me?

I'm just here to observe.

Nothing more and nothing less.

But you're one of us, you're an adventurer, too.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Yes.

Just like the people you tricked and stole from.

[RHEA SCOUT] Damn it!

-[RHEA SCOUT grunting]

-[screaming]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[running footsteps]

You'll regret this!

That isn't likely.

[flame whooshes]

-[gasps] That hurt!

-What's wrong?

The candle, it's getting hotter by the second.

[WARRIOR] Good!

That means we're getting closer to my sword.

[whooshes] -Watch out!

-[gasps]

[CLERIC] Careful!

-[chittering]

-[screaming]

[WARRIOR] This way!

-How's the candle?

-It's still really hot.

Don't tell me it's inside one of those things?

-What should we do?

-Get to the surface?

They'd just catch up to us while we climbed the ladder!

We could jump into the water.

Sure, if we want to get the plague!

[WARRIOR] In that case...

[shrieks]

[insects chittering]

-Give me the lantern.

-What?

Why?

Quick, use a miracle!

[chittering]

[shouts] Now!

Chief of Justice, Lord of the Sword, Ward of the Scale, may your forces manifest!

Now.

Holy Smite!

[screeching]

[shouting]

-[grunting]

-[screeching]

[whimpering]

[yelling]

[panting]

[CLERIC]

Is it still alive?

-[club clatters]

-[CLERIC shrieks] You stay there.

I've got this.

You've got something of mine and I bet it doesn't taste very good, so... give it back!

[GUILD GIRL sighs] That was scary.

Thank you so much for your help, Goblin Slayer.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] I didn't do anything.

Just being here helped.

I had some pretty bad experiences back when I was training in the capital.

The place was full of men who couldn't open their mouths without a lewd remark falling out, like they had nothing better to do than harass me.

I know what you mean.

The capital was overrun with them.

And more often than not, I would have to deal with that type of thing all on my own.

So, having someone I trust act as an observer is wonderful.

I felt so much safer knowing you were there.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] Really?

-[GUILD GIRL] Yes, absolutely!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Are we done now?

I'd like to go.

[GUILD GIRL] Oh, of course.

If you go to the front desk, they should give you your compensation.

[GOBLIN SLAYER] All right.

Um.

Please wait!

[GOBLIN SLAYER] What is it?

Well, um...

It's just...

Good work today?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] Yeah, you too.

[GUILD GIRL sighs] You did so well.

But still, I doubt we've heard the last of that rhea.

[GUILD GIRL] There aren't enough adventurers these days, and what he did wasn't necessarily illegal.

I hope he accepts his demotion and takes on quests elsewhere instead of giving up and becoming a true criminal.

[MANAGER] Well, adventurers' morality runs the gamut.

They can be anywhere from lawful good to chaotic evil.

[GUILD GIRL] And as long as they remain adventurers, that's their choice to make.

-Thank you for everything.

-No thanks needed.

I was just doing my duty as a priestess of the Supreme God.

It was my pleasure.

Do you suppose the God of Law would think I handled the situation correctly?

You know, it's funny, but most of the time, people don't understand justice.

It's pretty common nowadays.

[clears throat] Justice is not about striking down evil, but making people aware that evil exists.

Wow, what a beautiful way of thinking about it.

It's easy enough to say, harder to do.

Unless you're the Sword Maiden, of course.

She's great.

She was one of the adventurers who defeated the Demon Lord.

The Sword Maiden, a servant of the all-powerful Supreme God.

I admire her so much.

All I have to do is see through other people's lies.

It's not hard.

You still have work left?

I need to get started on the paperwork for that demotion.

So, the guy in the helmet's the one you like?

What are you talking about?

All right, fine.

So what if he is?

[MANAGER chuckles]

[MANAGER] You always did have a soft spot for the strong, silent ones.

[SPEARMAN] To the brave adventurer and the heroic recovery of his lost sword!

[ALL] Cheers!

[GUILD GIRL] Adventurers tend to be noisy and difficult to deal with.

I've always wished more of them were the stoic type.

But I think it's possible he's a little too stoic.

[MANAGER] You seem to have a lot on your plate.

I should let you get to work.

[GUILD GIRL] Yes.

Time to get my head out of the clouds.

-There are things to do.

-[GOBLIN SLAYER] I'm back.

[gasping] What are you--?

Um...

Goblin Slayer!

What are you doing here?

[GOBLIN SLAYER] What else?

I'm going to slay some goblins.

That quest listing, it arrived on a parcel carriage that had travelled a great distance.

And it's specifically asking for Goblin Slayer?

But who could it be from?

[dice clattering]

[dice clattering]
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