17x06 - No Time for Despair

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grey's Anatomy". Aired: March 2005 to present.*
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A drama centered on the personal and professional lives of five surgical interns and their supervisors.
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17x06 - No Time for Despair

Post by bunniefuu »

- [SIREN WAILING]
- ♪ Little bird, little bird

MEREDITH: When a virus finds its way into our bodies...

♪ Won't you sing me a song? ♪

...our immune system unleashes an att*ck.

♪ I may not know all the words ♪

It puts up a good fight and then stands down.

♪ But I'll try to sing along ♪

Or at least that's what it's supposed to do.

♪ My little bird ♪

[WHEEZING]

♪ Let 'em talk, that's what they do ♪

Sometimes the system works so hard

that it goes completely off the rails.

♪ No amount of saying somethin' ♪

Immune cells start attacking healthy tissue.

They flood the lungs, clot the blood,

cause vessels to leak, and shut down organs.

Our own body wreaks havoc on itself.

♪ All will be alright ♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

♪ Hold tight, stay gold ♪

It's called the cytokine storm.

♪ It hurts bad but I know ♪

[GASPS]

♪ Ooh ♪

And it takes a miracle to stop it.

[LAUGHING]

DELUCA: Okay, better lung sounds than yesterday, and your inflammatory markers are decreasing.

But, uh, how do you feel?

MEREDITH: Like I've been asleep for a week or a month.

It's like that whether you have COVID or not.

You've been mostly asleep for eight days.

MEREDITH: Oof.

How are the kids?

Have they been a lot? Be honest.

AMELIA: This week?

Ellis is leaving dishes all over the house.

Bailey is mad that he can't fly.

- [CHUCKLES]
- And Zola's teacher has asked that Zola stop correcting her.

[MAGGIE CHUCKLES]

When can I leave?

Your oxygen requirements are decreasing, so if they continue in that direction, we could probably discharge you within a week.

I'll be back in an hour to run another ABG, okay?

Take a deep breath for me, there, Shanice.

Good. Another one.

SHANICE: I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

SHARON: Hush, sweetie. You are brave.

You are a hero.

Rescue someone, did you?

Herself and her friend.

From a fire? That's incredible.

By starting a fire.

Some animal kidnapped them and locked them up in his house.

It was the only way they could get out.

- Oh, my God. That's...
- [DOOR OPENS, SIREN WAILS]

Oh, my God.

OWEN: Jada Williams. Smoke inhalation, second degree burns to the left hand.

- SHANICE: Jada! Are you okay?
- SHARON: Where's your mother?

JADA: [CRYING] They took her.
They arrested her!

- Wait, why would they...
- Montgomery from said there was an altercation with police at the scene.

- Obviously some mix-up.
- SHARON: It's okay.

It's a mistake, okay?
They'll let her out.

Where's your father?
Did your mother call him?

JADA: He went to see my grandma in Nevada.

She wouldn't stop going out in public without a mask.

Okay. We'll figure it out.

- We'll be okay.
- Schmitt, get her a chest X-ray and page Avery to come and have a look at this hand.



- [FACETIME CALL CHIMES]
- WINSTON: Hey.

Did we have a date and I forgot about it?

MAGGIE: Mer's awake. [LAUGHS]

Really? That's incredible!

We weaned her off of high flow O .

Her PaO is .

She even laughed!

She's awake! God!

[CACKLES]

That sounded a little crazy.

But it's just been so dark around here.

I hear you.

But you're still shining on my end.

Aww.

- Where are you?
- Oh, I'm in my car,

in a-a grocery store parking lot.

Mm-hmm. Oh, my God.

There is another woman, isn't there?

You know, I, uh, hate for you to find out this way, but, you know, I'm just not cut out for the whole long-distance thing.

Yeah, well, it was nice while it lasted.

I'm so happy about Meredith.

[CHUCKLES] Truly.

[CHUCKLES] Now let me go buy my eggs.

[CALL ENDS]

Okay.

RICHARD: Evening rounds was uneventful.

But Ms. Fisher complained of a tenderness around the incision.

JO: Okay. I'll check on her as soon as I can.

Uh, Wilson, I know you've taken on some of Grey's cases, and now with Bailey's mother passing...

I'm asking a lot of you.

Well, she's awake now.

But she still needs time to recover.

Right. Just [CHUCKLES] wishful thinking.

- Yeah.
- Um... Oh, uh, uh, sir, w-when you have a minute, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something

- that I am considering...
- [TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES]

...um, career-wise.

Oh, damn it.

Oh, well, it doesn't have to be now.

I'm sure that you are dying to go home.

[SIGHS]

No one's leaving here tonight.



Pierce.

What? No Magpie?

You said you hate my nicknames.

Which only seemed to increase your pleasure in using them.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Alright.

Deep breath.

[WHEEZING INHALE]

- [EXHALES SHAKILY]
- Alright. Still diminished, but decent.

Who slapped you with the happy stick?

Meredith's awake.

Oh.

Maybe I won't die alone and forgotten.

I'm basing my chances of b*ating this thing on Grey pulling through.

She's a lot, uh, feistier.

And younger.

- Ouch.
- [CHUCKLES]

I'm gonna come check on you in an hour.

Try to get some rest.

I literally have no choice.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[WHEEZING]

Know any good jokes?

[CHUCKLES]

Me neither.

[SIGHS]



[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

JO: Hey. Great news about Meredith.

TEDDY: Yeah. Great.

RICHARD: Listen up. Seattle Pres has reached capacity.

Which means we should expect to receive about twice the patients per day.

We are activating surge capacity protocol.

- [ALL MURMURING]
- Hey, I'm not happy about it, either.

We need to double up on every room we can.

We are converting this cafeteria to COVID overflow tonight.

We need all available hands, including residents.

You will now take care of COVID patients.

So, call home, make arrangements, check your inboxes for assignments.

Thank you.

BAILEY: I didn't get an e-mail.

Because you're not supposed to be here. You should be at home.

I'm not exposing my kids to COVID the week they lost their grandma.

Then go to a hotel.

You told me you couldn't leave this place when it needed you.

Well, neither can I.

Fine.

Patient transfer.

Bailey, if you need to leave

- to go home...
- I won't.

We want to do a chest X-ray to make sure the smoke didn't damage your lungs, okay?

Shouldn't take long.

JACKSON: We're gonna have to do the same for you, too.

Let me just finish this hand first.

[SIGHS] I pushed on the vent thing to get out,

- but the fire made it really hot.
- [CELLPHONE RINGING]

- Stupid.
- SHARON: Hello?

No, no. It sounds smart.

SHARON: Sure. Hold on. Let me ask.

This is Jada's father. Can they talk?

Of course. I'm almost done here.

I-I'm so sorry.

Daddy, I'm... I'm so sorry.

We didn't mean to do anything bad.

Any word on the mother?
Can't believe they arrested her.

- I can.
- OWEN: Nothing yet, but we need to get them transferred upstairs.

What? Now? We've only just gotten them anywhere near calm.

They're bringing the kidnapper here, and Montgomery said that he is belligerent.

Absolutely not. We're not bringing him to this hospital.

I'm as against it as you are.

But Seattle Pres has closed their doors, and he has to go somewhere.



DELUCA: Okay. Sats are incredible.

MEREDITH: Must be able to do those in your sleep by now.

Sleep? What sleep?

Kidding. I've been getting sleep.

How are my patients doing?

Okay, Randall, Thompson, and Patel... they were all discharged.
They recovered.

Walker?

Did his son get to see him at least?

He barely made it in time, but yeah.

Wish I could help.

If it's any consolation,

I've been working here every single day, and I don't really feel like I'm much help, either.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

[SIGHS]

Look, I really hate to go, but...

No. Go. It's okay.

Hey.

It's really good to hear your voice.

Fire marshal says no more than beds.

Has Supply brought down the pulse oxes yet?

Yes, they're being delivered as we speak.

And we got an additional four high flows.

How?

We lost the patients who were using them.

Helm!

You have just put the monitor in the wrong place, and now we're gonna have wires and cords running along the patient's bed, which has created a hazard, not only for a seriously ill patient, but also for the staff.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize...

I guess you didn't "realize" that you put the medical waste bin too far away from the hand sanitizer dispenser.

So if I'm examining a patient, that means that I have to cross the room to dispose of the medical supplies, recross the room, sanitize my hands, which means you have doubled my exposure time and wasted my time.

So fix this station and fix the other three stations.

Actually, you know what?
Find someone else to do it, because you've just proven why we haven't let residents actually do anything.

RICHARD: Dr. Altman.

Can I help you?

Can I send Dr. Helm upstairs to help out on the COVID floor?

Bailey's asking for reinforcements.

I don't care.



[FLATLINE]

MAGGIE: Charge to .

[PADDLES WHINE]

Clear.

[DEFIBRILLATOR THUMPS]

Charge to .

Clear.

[DEFIBRILLATOR THUMPS]

[FLATLINE]



Time of death, : .

[CLICK, FLATLINE STOPS]



I didn't even know his whole name.



Do you want to?

His wife would call him every day.

She'd talk his ear off on the speaker phone.

I don't speak Spanish, but I could hear kids playing.

Maybe grandkids.

I could hear his wife crying.

And then she would force a laugh.

And sometimes his eyes were open.

And... he would force a smile, you know, when she would force a laugh 'cause he was trying to take care of her through the phone.

His first name is Hector.

And yes, I'd like to know his last name for my prayers, please.

Martinez.

Hector Martinez.



Is Grey still awake?

Yes.

Yeah, she's still awake.

Alright.

[CELLPHONE CHIMING]



[SIGHS]



[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]



[SIRENS WAILING]

Alright, we got the girls upstairs, so the coast is clear down here for... Satan's arrival.

Do they know what this guy was doing?

Is he, like, a serial k*ller?
In a pandemic?

Sex trafficking is more likely.
The house they b*rned down could have been a way station or the destination.

I don't want to be anywhere near this guy.



[BOB COUGHING]

TRAVIS: -year-old male involved in a house fire.

Smoke inhalation, burns to the left arm.

Vitals are stable.

OWEN: The victims are safe, Montgomery.

You mean the girls who broke into my house and set fire to it?

TRAVIS: They could have b*rned alive in there.

- He's human garbage.
- Get these cuffs off me!

I want my lawyer. Now.

He's also gonna say that a lot.
Good luck.

- [COUGHS]
- We've already informed security.

Let's get him to trauma one.



- Ma'am?
- What happened to the guy who just came out of the ambulance? Is he okay?

Ma'am, you can't be out here without a a mask.

Okay, yeah. Thank you very much.

I just, um... I'm a little... out of it.

I just was mugged, and, um, the guy, he... he shoved me and took my purse, and I hit my head, I think.

You'd think people would behave better in a pandemic.

Come on. Follow me.
I'll get you checked out.



JACKSON: So, I made a few calls, and my attorney's looking into your mother's arrest.

We should know more pretty soon.

- WOMAN: Code Blue, Room .
- MAN: Room coding. Let's go.


It's okay.

I know it may not sound like it, but you're safe here, Jada.
You are, okay?

We are gonna get your mother out of there.

JADA: She didn't...

She didn't do anything wrong.

She was just scared... trying to protect us. [SIGHS]

We never should have met up with a stranger.

It was so dumb.

He's the bad guy here, not you.

You're years old, Jada.

You should be allowed to make a few mistakes and survive them.

That's kind of what growing up is all about.

When I was years old, took my mother's car.

Didn't have a driver's license yet.

Picked up my buddies, driving around, trying to show off, spin the tires, you know, burn rubber.

Caught a patch of ice. Crashed sideways.

Could have k*lled everyone 'cause I did something stupid.

Still ended up being a doctor.

You made a mistake.

You learned from it, right?

What that guy did, that was no mistake.

He did that on purpose.

So he's the one that we're mad at.

You want to be mad at somebody, be mad at him, not yourself.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Okay.



[BOB COUGHS, GRUNTS]

Can you at least loosen these damn things?

If you would calm down and stop moving, it might not bother you so much, and it would help me to work on your arm.

Oh, they b*rned down my house, and I got arrested.

Would you be calm?

Oh, don't tell me you believe them.

Sir, not only do I believe them, but I'm amazed by them.

They are resourceful, powerful, brilliant.

You know, my own sister was taken hostage by scumbags like you.

She was held for years.

And these girls, they got themselves out in one night, and they risked their lives to do it.

Now, it is my job to repair your lungs and your skin, and I need your cooperation to do that, but your life, Bob... your life will be spent behind bars.

And your soul? [CHUCKLES]

There is nothing anyone can do to save that.

You're the devil's barbecue, Bob, so get used to the smell of burning flesh.

[GRUNTS] Get me another doctor.

I want another doctor!

I've been through enough... without... hav...



OWEN: Okay, dramatic move, Bob.

Let's call a stroke alert and have CT on standby.

Code stroke, emergency room. Code stroke, emergency room.

Doesn't look like you sustained any serious injuries from your fall.

Code stroke, emergency room.

OPAL: Um, what's...
What's going on in there?

OWEN: Let's get ready to move him.

Ugh. You don't want to know.



Anything else hurting you?

Any soreness or...

Have someone from neuro meet me in CT.

He has slurred speech and focal deficits.

Possible stroke. Let's go.

Ma'am?

Oh. [EXHALES SHARPLY] Sorry.

Been alone for months.

I'm not used to all this activity.

Um, can I...

Where is your restroom?

Oh, yeah, it's just around the corner.

Thanks.



[DOOR OPENS]

[SIGHS]

KORACICK: Uh, you can go.

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- [DOOR CLOSES]

MEREDITH: It got you, too, huh?

KORACICK: Like an -wheeler on a sheet of ice.

But I, uh...

I just wanted to see for myself that it's possible to b*at this thing.

Almost b*at it.

You know how many rules you're breaking right now?

I really just wanted to be in a room where no one was dying.



'Cause everyone's dying.



I won't tell if you don't.

[SIGHS]



AMELIA: Whatcha got?

OWEN: I didn't mean for them to page you.

If you need to be with Meredith...

I want to be wherever I can help and save lives, so it is your guy's lucky day.

Well, slurred speech, slight droop in the face, left-sided weakness in the arms and legs.

He was also just arrested for kidnapping two teenage girls, possibly trafficking.

I'm not sure that this is a life you're looking to save.

I've already said a few things to this guy that could get me fired.

Well, then...

I guess I am his best chance at living long enough that he will rot in prison.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Silver lining?

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

Okay, looks like an ischemic stroke.

Let's start alteplase and get a CTA.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.



DELUCA: Ah, Bailey. Good.

Uh, Abrams and Richardson are settled, and I want to wait on Lottman's ABG results.

Make sure she's stable.

Um, DeLuca, can you get Mr. Franklin settled?

Dr. Bailey?

Uh, my mom d*ed in that room last night.

I just need a minute.



- Dr. Bailey...
- Hmm.

...you're super human.

You know that, right?

You got an ability to cut through crap unlike anyone I have ever seen.

You're a world-class surgeon and an even better boss.

So please don't mistake this as disrespect when I say... go away.

Go home.

At the very least, go to your office and scream, break something. I don't know.

Just take more than a minute.

Because, yes, even super humans need more than a minute to grieve the loss of the person that made them who they are.

We got this.



Go away.



[DOOR OPENS]

DELUCA: Okay. How we doing here?



AMELIA: Fluoro.

[VENTILATOR HISSING, MONITOR BEEPING]

He's got a clot in his middle cerebral artery.



Are the girls he hurt okay?

I mean... okay as they can be?

I hope so, but I cannot imagine.

Was the world always this messed up and we just didn't pay attention 'cause we didn't have kids yet?

Yeah, I notice more now.

I just want to hug Scout and never let go.

You know, after drenching myself in sanitizer.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, I can't even go home to hug Allison and Leo.

They're staying at my mom's, and I see them on video chat.

It is a special kind of t*rture.

[SCOFFS] Sensory deprivation.

I just...

Ugh. I just want to smell them and hold them.

Well, at least I have a pandemic to keep me occupied.

[CHUCKLES] That's dark.

You know, when all this started,

I treated it like it was a w*r, like we were all this together, but we're not in this together.
Not even close.

I mean, some of us are risking our lives, missing our families, sacrificing everything, and why?

So other people can just keep finding ways to hurt each other?

I mean, kidnapping teenagers during a pandemic?

Don't even get me started on all those people who are partying without masks.

I think you said those things in the wrong order.

I'm not so sure. [SCOFFS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

MEREDITH: It's a fact, huh?

KORACICK: Yes. Neurosurgeons are the best lovers of all the surgeons.

It's the attention to the smallest of details.

We know about, uh, pleasure centers.

Okay. It's been very nice having you stop by.

[LAUGHING] You're welcome to prove me wrong.

Ortho?

Forget about it. No finesse.

Anesthesiology?

- Snooze. Literally.
- [BOTH LAUGHING]

[COUGHS]

If this thing ever ends, I am creating a dating app for women who want to date a neurosurgeon, and that would be me.

WOMAN: Let's go, let's go, let's go!

MAN: Code Blue, room .

Code Blue, room .

You know, you don't realize how addicted you are to saving lives until you can't.

I realized it.

How hilarious is it that the best and second-best surgeons in this joint caught the plague?

You're not the second-best surgeon here.

[LAUGHING] You might be top five.

[CHUCKLING] Wait. Wait, you...

You thought I put you at number one?

Oh, that is... That is so sad.

How many Catherine Fox Awards do you have?

How many Catherine Foxes have you saved?

[GASPS]

Good one.

WOMAN: I can't believe we lost another one.

MAN: We did our best.





TEDDY: Six more beds, nine more vital monitors, and we will meet protocol standards.

Nice work, Altman.

It'll fill up before we know it, but I guess it's something.

Well, when I said not everyone would be needed here,

I meant it.

If you need to take personal time.

That's a joke, right?

You've been burning the candle at both ends trying to save Meredith.

You've earned a break.

Meredith doesn't matter, Richard.

I'm saying it's great that she's awake.

But I thought if I... if I could...

If I could just keep her alive, that meant something.

And now she's awake, and nothing has changed.

And we are in a frickin' cafeteria.

People used to take breaks in here, and they would eat ice cream and French fries, and we... now we just converted it so that they would die here instead.

So, taking a break won't save anyone.

And I don't have anywhere to go anyway.

And that's on you.



And you know it's on you.

Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't save lives.

You aren't gonna get better until you take the time to find out why you did what you did.

You blew up your life and profoundly hurt and humiliated the man that you love.
You need to take inventory.

Name your demons.

Clean up your messes.

You may not be able to get things back the way they were, but if you honestly look at yourself, maybe you won't repeat the same pattern again.



WOMAN: Nurse Kruger to the OR. Nurse Kruger to the OR.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

MAGGIE: Ma'am, you okay?

I will be. I just need a minute.

I'm sorry, but you have to keep your mask on.

Do you want to sit down?

My daughter, she was taken, and I almost lost her forever.

Oh, my God. I heard about that.

I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now.

You know, I spend my whole day just trying to get to end of it still standing.

And there's always something, but I find ways to deal with the somethings.

I try to get ahead of them.

But you can't get ahead of everything.

It's too much stress.
It's too much. I'm so sorry.

And you know what's crazy?
I have to get up and go to work in the morning and act like nothing happened.

Because we have to eat and have a roof over our head.

Even in a pandemic.

There's no stopping. There's no relief.



I need to get back to my girl.





OPAL: It's Bob. He's not gonna talk.

No, he's not. I know.


I know. I just have to figure out how to get close enough to him to find out what they already know.

No, because he may have had a stroke.

I will, yes.

WOMAN: Dr. DeLuca, can you take a look at this?



That is my niece!

Arrest this woman for child trafficking!

Security! Detain her!



DELUCA: I'm still waiting on the results, so let me know when they come in, okay? Thank you.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]



[SIGHS] Okay.



KORACICK: Your sats still look good.

MEREDITH: You're a workaholic.

Oh, work is all I have.

That and a... to-do list of many, many women.

That's not all you have.

[SIGHS]

You miss the kids?

So much it hurts.

I even miss when they say, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom," so many times I want to change my name.

[CHUCKLES]

Used to be so angry at God for taking David away, but now I think it's kind of like a blessing.

He doesn't have to feel this or worry about me.

I don't have to worry about him.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, that's B.S.

I'd k*ll for a "Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad" about now.

Just trying to silver-line something.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- Oh.

NURSE JAMES: Are you kidding me?

Okay, arrest me, officer.

No, no, I've been a terrible, terrible patient. I...

Good luck with your plague!

Good luck with yours!

[DOOR CLOSES]



WOMAN: Chaplain to patient services.

LEVI: She's got red hair, and...

Oh, oh, there she is!

OPAL: Uh... Uh, what's going on?

You were mugged. Don't you want to make a statement?

Yes. Thank you. O-Of course.

I... Uh... it's been a crazy night.

Um... I was walking to my car, and I actually felt something from behind.

POLICEMAN: Okay. And then what?

HAYES: So, both girls are responding well to the oxygen.

As long as the next X-rays are looking good, you can all be on your way.



- Mom!
- [BOTH CRYING]

I'm so sorry, Mom!

JOYCE: No. Oh, God.
I was so worried about you.

- I was so scared.
- I was so scared.

I'm okay, sweet girl.

I'm okay.

I'm here, baby.

I'm here.

HAYES: You did this? You got her out?

JACKSON: Money did this.

It's the only language this country understands.

MAGGIE: No, Mrs. Willett.

[SIGHS]

I don't have better news. I'm sorry.

Okay.

I will.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

MAGGIE: Hey.

Thought you had surgery.

I did. [SIGHS]

Saving a sex trafficker's life.

So... I needed some air.

How did you manage to not... s*ab him in the skull with a scalpel?

Skin of my teeth.

I easily could have let the catheter slip by a millimeter, lacerate his artery, or I could have accidentally let him have a bigger stroke, landing him in a vegetative state, sitting in his own filth for decades, but I didn't.

Because I took an oath.

I saved his life so amazingly well that he will live far longer than he should, until he dies alone in prison.

[SIGHS] I'm so sick of it.

I'm so sick of it.

I know. It's infuriating.

How anyone could kidnap children...

No. That's not it, Amelia.

That's not it.

You're outraged.

Everyone is outraged that this monster kidnapped these girls.

And that is awful.

It's awful.

But what about the monsters that got us here?

The many reasons that Black girls are more vulnerable to being taken in the first place?

I want outrage for that. I want outrage for the fact that we are seen as disposable and rarely seen as victims.

That Black girls are less likely to be as seen as innocent than white girls, which makes people think that we don't need protecting, and it's okay to hypersexualize us in the media.

Meanwhile, we are being physically and sexually abused at horrific rates, and not just by sex traffickers.

There are so many things just waiting to rob Black women and girls of our freedom and future and our joy.

And because none of it has an evil or obvious face, it just gets ignored.

And now... there's a plague that is k*lling Black people at a rate that should make everyone outraged!

If COVID were k*lling white people at the rate that it is k*lling Black people [SCOFFS] you better believe that everyone would be wearing masks because it would be the damn law.

You're right, Maggie.

And I don't know how you carry it all.

By the skin of my teeth.

[SIGHS]

Did you quit yet?

It's not quitting.

- It's choosing joy.
- Mm.

I want to choose joy.

I want to bring life into the world.

It's nothing to shame me over.

I didn't shame you.

A little bit, you did.

I heard Grey's awake. Did you tell her?

No.

She would definitely shame me.

[CHUCKLES]

She was my teacher.

She loves to cut more than anybody I know.

She would tell me that it's a reaction to the pandemic and that it's insane to quit surgery, and... on some level, she'd be right.

But...

But when I think about quitting, it brings me so. Much. Joy.

It's like I have a dirty little secret.

♪ We will call this place our home ♪

DELUCA: patients transferred... in under five hours.

And somehow we're all still standing.

♪ Though the storms will push and pull ♪

Whew.

So... did you break something?

I screamed into a pillow for a few minutes.

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

♪ We'll tell our stories on these walls ♪

You know, when my mom d*ed...

♪ Every year, measure how tall ♪

...I don't even have words to describe how bad it felt.

Like the pain should just carry me out of my body and take me with her.

I feel like I'm not in my body.

Like I'm watching myself move around, but I'm not all there.

I have no idea what to do about a memorial.

She wanted something joyous.

My father and I following behind the hearse in a white limo.

Had to be white.

Her church choir singing "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" in front of the entire congregation.

And no crying.

Yeah, said she'd been to enough sad funerals.

She wanted good food, good music, and laughter.

You know, working every day in the COVID ICU,

I have to say, I've seen some... Some pretty beautiful things.

♪ We are the impact and the glue ♪

Candlelit drive-by vigils and video memorials.

Look, I know none of it's ideal, but it does provide a little comfort.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

Oh, uh, do... do you mind if I knock off?

I-I have to take my meds and get some sleep.

[CHUCKLES] What?

♪ With each year, our color fades ♪

No, of course.

I'm just so proud of you, DeLuca.

Managing your mental health, taking your meds, getting rest, setting boundaries.

That's not easy even when we aren't in the middle of a pandemic.

Guess I'm just lucky I was surrounded by people that didn't give up on me.

Night, Chief.

♪ And repaint every day ♪

[FLATLINE, ALARM BEEPING IN DISTANCE]

WOMAN: Code Blue, room .

Code Blue, room .



Code Blue, room .
Code Blue, room .




Code Blue, room .
Code Blue, room .




NURSE LINDA: Dr. Grey, get back in bed.

The code team will be here any minute.

MEREDITH: She doesn't have that kind of time!

Get me an ET tube.



Take over compressions.





Dr. Grey!

MEREDITH: Alright, I'm in. Bag her.

[FLATLINE, ALARMS BEEPING]



What the hell are you doing?

[WEAKLY] Helm, get me a wheelchair.





[OWEN SIGHS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[VEHICLE BACKUP ALERT BEEPING]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Teddy, I don't want to keep punishing you.

We have kids, you know?

Maybe it's time we start to talk about what we're gonna do.

Allison.

Allison's fine. I talked to Mom this morning. She said that...

No, Owen. Not our Allison.

My Allison.

We weren't just best friends.

I was in love with her, and she was in love with me.

We were so deeply in love.

And I don't know what this has to do with what I did to you.

But I know that is it the only secret that I kept from you before Tom and before this. I...

I know that it's connected.

And I know you well enough to know that you... You need the whole story.

I don't know all of it yet, but I wanted to give you what I do know.

I don't know what to do with this.

You don't have to do anything.

I just want you to know that I love you and I love our kids and I loved our family, even if it's over.



♪ Hold the line, aye ♪

[LAUGHING]

♪ Do you fight for pride or glory? ♪

[LAUGHS LOUDLY]

This makes so much sense.

[LAUGHS, SIGHS]

I mean, ever since our wedding day...

I've been trying to piece it together.

Our history.

Searching for when you changed and became someone that was capable of doing things that I couldn't understand.

And it turns out that... you didn't change.

Turns out...

Turns out I just never really knew you.

Owen, that's not true.

Do you even know what true is, Teddy?

We named our daughter after a lie.

- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- ♪ I don't know where you've gone ♪

♪ You used to be the heart of this town ♪

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[PATIENTS COUGHING]



♪ I don't know where you are now ♪

RICHARD: I have never seen anything like this.

BAILEY: Everyone really pulled together today.

It would be beautiful if it wasn't full of dying people.

I mean COVID.

We're doing our best, but this is the first time in my career

I'm not sure that's enough.

Pretty soon, we're gonna start losing our own.

Not to the disease but to the toll it's taking.



I fear this will hurt us in a way we can't even begin to understand.



[CELLPHONES CHIME]

♪ Whoa ♪

BAILEY: It's Grey.

Come on.

♪ Whoa ♪

[PATIENTS COUGHING]



♪ Yeah, you've got your back against the wall ♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[SIGHS] Her sats are plummeting.

- But she was fine...
- Yeah, until she got out of bed and tried to resuscitate a coding patient.

The exertion, it just pushed her over the edge.

TEDDY: Maybe. Or maybe her lungs already looked that way.

The experimental drug doesn't reverse damage that's already occurred.

She might have been on a COVID high.

What about putting her on BIPAP?

It won't be enough. If she's not already responding to high flow.

Where's Pierce?

She went home. She's not answering her phone.



I think it's time. Dr. Webber...

No. Uh... Mnh-mnh.

She said she didn't want to be on a vent.

Unless it's a last resort.

Well, Meredith's lungs are at a breaking point.

I know early results weren't good, but more and more patients are surviving after they go on a vent.

- Richard...
- It's my call.



Do it.



[DOOR CLOSES]



No, I'm sorry. I had to get out.

It's too risky.



Open your eyes, people!

She's selling human beings!



- CARINA: Buon giorno.
- DELUCA: Shh, shh, shh, shh.


- Carina.
- What's wrong?

It's the woman who brought the girl. Cindy.

E-Erin. Erin Banks. Do you remember her?

- Andrea...
- Carina, I swear it's her.

No, you call the police.
I'm following her.

I let her out of the hospital once. I'm not doing it again.

Va bene. But... But I'm driving.

Okay? Okay. Come on. Hurry up.



[CELLPHONE CHIMES, KNOCK ON DOOR]

I don't need anything.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[SIGHS]

Are you real?

I told you the long-distance thing wasn't working for me.

[CHUCKLES]



[SOBBING]

♪ Hmm, hmm ♪

♪ Hmm, hmm ♪



♪ Ooh ♪



♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ah, ah ♪

[BIRDS CHIRPING]



♪ Ah, ah ♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

♪ So take me to the airport ♪

♪ And put me on a plane ♪

♪ I got no expectations ♪

♪ To pass through here again ♪

♪ To pass through here again ♪

♪ Our love was like the water ♪

♪ That splashes on a stone ♪

MEREDITH: Sometimes, when you think the storm has passed,

you realize you were just in the eye of it.

♪ Our love is like our music ♪

♪ It's here, and then it's gone ♪



[MONITOR BEEPING]

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