Previously...
What's wrong? I kissed Jordan.
Now Andy and Jordan hate me. Way to go, Sienna Miller.
Rusty, I think that you and I together is just a bad idea.
And maybe we shouldn't hang out anymore.
Casey? What are you doing here?
I should ask you that question.
I'm just broadening my horizons.
Or should I say horizoning my broads?
She's not hung up on Casey, that'll never come between us like it did with me and Cappie. Wait. I thought you broke up because you went public. I lied.
It's t*rture watching the girl of your dreams on the arm of some other guy.
I just wish I could accept it and stop hoping for things to change.
You've always gotta have hope.
Observe the rigidity of form underneath such silky softness and somber expressions, depicting the joys and sorrows of love.
The rigidity of what? His form.
Because of her silky softness.
And notice the second man, standing directly behind the newlyweds.
Is he a witness, or perhaps a scorned lover of hers?
Or his.
Evoking the bittersweet emotion of a love triangle.
Tomorrow's midterm will consist mostly of essay questions, analyzing some of the paintings we've discussed in class.
Good luck.
Essays?
That leaves way too much room for teacher interpretation, frankly, this guy's kind of a nut bag.
Do you know his office hours? I gotta... start preparing my argument for a better grade.
I may try the old "it's against my religion" thing.
That always worked in gym class. You still haven't talked to Jordan?
She told me to get lost, so I guess I'm moving on.
Technically she moved on, or stayed put, with Andy.
Whatever. We both moved on.
And now she's moving towards us.
We were actually just talking about the... the test.
About that, there's a lot of material to cover, and I figured you guys are all studying together, right?
Right.
Anyway, I was kind of wondering if maybe I could join?
You are a liberal arts major?
You're willing to contribute, not just mooch off of us?
It's fine with me. All right. See you at seven?
I'll see you then.
All right. Liberal arts major to the rescue.
"The midterm will be based on lectures, readings and class discussion."
"Five short essay questions." What? Define short.
"Three long essay questions." Define long.
"200 multiple choice questions"? How is that possible?
I haven't even learned that many answers.
If you'd spent more class time on women's studies and less studying the women, you might've learned more.
I learned plenty.
Maybe not as much as I should've to pass this test.
I'm not feeling all that confident either.
I love this class and I really wanna kick ass on the midterm.
Let's pull an all-nighter. Like the good old days.
Your place or mine?
I don't know. An all-nighter? Max is out of town.
I'm not sure it's... appropriate? If he were in town, it'd be different?
It's just studying.
You two know each other from class, right?
I'm getting people together to study at the Espresso tonight.
Fantastic. Wanna come?
Sounds like a plan. Casey will join us.
If that's appropriate.
Tonight sounds good. Great. The more the merrier.
And don't forget to bring your smarty smartness.
I hate midterms.
What are you doing?
Mentally preparing.
My upper-division advertising midterm is tomorrow and I have read, I swear to God... nothing.
And I can't procrastinate like I normally do.
You know that's what you're doing now, right?
Fine, fine. I will go to the library.
Do you wanna come? I can't.
I'm studying with Cappie later tonight.
I'm gonna take a nap now. Could be an all-nighter.
An all-nighter with Cappie? What about Max?
Cappie and I are just friends. Besides, it won't be just us.
Apparently he's dating this new girl from class.
She'll be there. So Cappie's dating a new girl.
That's good. It totally came out of nowhere.
Why he didn't tell me?
Are you jealous? No, I'm not jealous.
Just curious.
Do you wanna talk about it?
You're procrastinating.
Fine.
If you're looking for money, I cleaned that one out last week for beer money.
I'm looking for my art history course packet. Have you seen it?
Paperback? Naked ladies?
You might wanna check Wade's room.
Come to think of it, you might wanna get a new one.
My art history exam is tomorrow, I need to study with Calvin, Dale and Jordan.
Andy's Jordan? It's not like he owns her.
I'm done pulling douche moves.
It's just... I like her.
And I miss her.
I also don't know what its gonna be like to be around her again while she's still with Andy.
Some's better than none.
It's like this potato chip. It's hard to just eat one, right?
You have one and want the whole bag.
Would you rather show some discipline and have one per day or would you rather not have any chips at all?
I don't even like this.
If you like being around Jordan, try and be friends with her.
It's better than nothing.
So I've made a schedule for the study session with a b*llet-point list of objectives.
We spend approximately two hours on each section:
Proto-Renaissance, Early Renaissance, High Renaissance, Mannerist Period. By my calculations, and allowing breaks for food, bathroom, personal hygiene, etcetera, we should be able to cover the entire course-load by sunrise, and have a couple of hours left over for sleep before the test.
Sound good?
I'm gonna get some water. I gotta pee.
Make it snappy.
We're supposed to be on Trivial Pursuit Renaissance art history.
There's our fourth player.
Dinner. Any special dietary preferences?
I don't eat red meat.
You're OK with the sausage on the pizza but not the pepperoni?
Excuse me for a second.
Is it like an aversion to the color red or like a religious thing?
Are you OK with me being here?
Totally. Good.
Because, I didn't come here just to study.
I miss you.
I want my friend back, if that's OK with you?
So, what do you say? Friends?
Friends.
Guys, come on. We're on a schedule here.
Why don't you do it when it's assigned?
You should work on time management.
I think I'm awesome at time management. I only study two times a semester, midterms and finals.
The rest of the time I just live life.
And shop.
Where's my car? It was definitely right here, because I accidentally banged your door into that car.
See, there's the ding that I left.
It's here.
It's gone.
Oh, my God. It was stolen.
I've never known a car that was stolen before.
My laptop's in there.
With my midterm paper on the sleep motif of Faulkner's As I Lay Dying and there's no way in hell I can write that thing again.
I'd rather lay down and die. Are you two OK?
My car was stolen. Silver Mercedes? Two-door?
You saw it get stolen?
I saw it get towed. This is faculty parking.
But I left my flashers on.
Isn't it a rule you can't tow a car with its flashers on?
Maybe, if you're gone for, like, five or ten minutes, but I saw it get towed hours ago.
You saw it get towed and you did nothing?
First, I didn't know it was your car.
Second, even if I did, what was I supposed to do?
Throw myself on the hood? Come on.
Great. So now we have to go to the car jail and bail it out.
I guess I can just skip my study session and take you.
Thank you. I won't get the practice test.
You're the best. I appreciate it. I'll fail the class. Get kicked out.
Is your car at the house? Or I could take you.
I guess it's the least he can do after letting them tow my car.
You're welcome.
We have 12 hours and 17 minutes to cram.
I'm setting my watch now.
You might need a lot more time, friend.
For women's studies? I've already seenErin Brockovich.
I'm halfway there.
So what's up with you and Delia?
How come you didn't tell me about her? Why? Are you jealous?
Not jealous. Just... curious.
We're friends, Cap. You can tell me when you're dating someone new.
I talk about Max all the time.
Although I must say, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
I really like him better now that he's gone.
You really wanna know about every girl that I hook up with?
Not in a braggy, high-fiving, macho frat guy kind of way, just in a general, FYI, this-is-my-life kind of way.
Delia and I are just hanging out.
Completely casual.
Is that...?
Did Max lavaliere you? He did.
Why? Are you jealous? Just curious.
Now that's all out of the way, let's focus on the test.
We have exactly 12 hours and...
Is there a problem?
Do you see the girl that Delia's walking up with?
She's in our class too, right?
And coincidentally she's also a girl that I hang out with.
Both of them? You said you wanted to know.
You ready to study some women?
OK.
The city renowned as the birthplace of the Renaissance, and in particular of Renaissance painting, is...
Rome? Nope. Our turn. Come on.
OK. The Birth of Venus was painted by...?
Botticelli. Yes! For the brown wedgie.
What are you laughing at? Just give me the brown wedgie.
You heard him. Give him the brown wedgie.
You want the brown wedgie?
What are you laughing at? That's what it's called.
This is fun, but I'm not sure memorizing facts is the best way to prep for this test.
We're gonna get questions like:
What do you think the smile on the face of the Mona Lisa represents?
Not just who painted it. Leonardo da Vinci.
We need to really understand what the painting's about, the experience of seeing it and taking it in, not just the year it was completed. 1519.
You know what? I think she's right.
Could you educate us on the meaning of the smile in the painting?
In an essay form?
OK. Let's see.
It's Andy.
Don't answer it. Too late.
Hey, man. What's up?
Yeah, man. Sure.
He wants to talk to you.
OK, that's strange? Why would he call her on my phone?
Better question: Why have your phone on in the study zone?
You don't think that was Andy she kept putting to voice mail?
I don't know.
Everything OK?
Yeah, awesome.
Andy just broke up with me.
That's terrible.
But back to the Mona Lisa.
She's smiling, but she doesn't look that happy, you know?
That's not what Professor Freeman said.
She said Angela Merkel is the most powerful woman in the world.
She was quoting Forbesmagazine, who first called her that in 2006 as she was gearing up to chair the G8 Summit.
Which Margaret Thatcher chaired in 1984, the first woman to do so.
Does she b*at out Merkel?
What do you think, Cap? Merkel or Thatcher?
Can't I just choose both? No.
Then, I'd have to choose...
... Oprah.
I could use another latte.
Does anybody want anything? No? All right, then.
How long have you two been together?
You mean me? Me and Cappie?
You're dating Cappie?
No.
No. Cappie and I are just friends.
Good. Because I hooked up with him last weekend, and I totally thought he was cheating on you.
I feel so much better now. What night last weekend?
Friday. Why? What time on Friday?
I think I could use a latte, actually.
You gotta be kidding me? What...
They figured it out?
Both of them in the same night? What were you thinking?
That dreams do come true?
Now there's no way we can study with them.
We're on our own.
Where's my book?
Right. We should... We need to... Let's get...
Yeah.
It's 11:15, so according to the study schedule, we're about a half-hour behind, which means I'm sorry, but the cookie break scheduled for midnight's gotta go.
I need some fresh air. Fresh air is not on the schedule yet.
It's...
Your friend's unsavory attitude is screwing up our study sesh.
Relax. Think you should talk to her?
That's great. Get both of them to waste time.
That's fantastic.
The air's not so fresh out here.
These grad students down the hall, they have a lot of cats.
Sorry about Andy.
It's his loss.
Thanks.
I know you kind of have to say that, but thanks
if you feel like you wanna go, don't worry about us.
We have Dale's study schedule.
No, I'll be fine. I'm just... kind of bummed.
I transferred here from a community college
'cause I wanted to experience new things and meet new people.
And right off I met you and I joined a sority... and then I met Andy, and he just kind of reminded me of home.
Of my high school ex-boyfriend, of my brothers.
He balanced out all these new experiences and he made me feel comfortable.
Now...
Whatever.
You still have the guy who did a face plant in art history.
Speaking of which...
Yeah. Baroque Bingo awaits.
Thanks.
We've been here for hours.
Where the hell is this guy?
You'd think we'd have more to talk about considering we've seen each other naked.
Are you hitting on me? What? No, no, no.
I knew there was a catch.
I'm not... I just want my laptop.
In fact, you can go now. I'll wait on my own.
Thanks for the ride. Are you nuts?
I'm not leaving you here by yourself.
Evan Chambers is chivalrous?
Are you hitting on me? No.
It's just I've never seen this part of you before.
And what part of me have you seen?
Right.
Right.
I definitely think there will be different versions of Leda and the Swan.
Good. More naked breasts.
This class has made me numb to nudity.
There's just nothing left to the imagination.
I might as well start having sex.
Sure would make Sheila happy.
Also, remember when we spent an entire class discussing the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
I guarantee an essay question'll be devoted to it.
Doctrine of the Church, creation, downfall of man, and promise of salvation. Bring it on.
What do we think he'll ask?
It's a pretty big ceiling.
I don't know.
It's amazing in person.
You've been there? In high school.
I went there when I was five.
All I remember is a pigeon pooped on my head in St. Peter's Square.
What was it like? Kind of runny.
These pictures don't do it justice, that's for sure.
It's like...
It's just...
It's hard to explain. You have to see it.
I have an idea.
It's time for us to take a little field trip.
No, actually, no, it's not. I could stretch my legs.
You guys, we're falling way off schedule.
We already lost our pizza break. Do you wanna cut the massage circle, too?
Yeah.
Fine. It's liberal arts. Let's get liberal.
Let's go off book. But you'll miss these.
Here we go.
Table for two, non-smoking. By the window if you got it.
OK, let's just go find somewhere to sit down and work.
Look. A couch. OK. Here we go.
All right, so I didn't get a chance to read the Baxandall article.
What was it about? I don't have my book.
I need to squeeze in there.
Here it is.
It's like our own love seat here. Don't call it that.
Excuse me. Sorry. I'm just...
I'm sorry. What is...?
I'm sorry I was just a little warm.
Can I just get to the page? It's kind of hot. Go ahead.
All right, chapter three.
Only 16 more chapters to go.
I'll get it, yeah. Yeah.
There you go.
I touched your boob. I know.
It was an accidental boob graze. I promise you.
I'm not one of those guys who gets off on grazing boobs.
You need to watch out for Wade in a crowded room, but not me.
Stop judging me.
All right, chapter three:
Women's Suffrage.
The movement's modern origins lie in France during the 18th century...
I'm sorry.
I just need to get my arm out. There we go. All right, better.
Please continue.
You know, this isn't working for me. I'm gonna go find us a table.
What? To... To sit at.
Here, watch this.
How's the studying going?
That was just a little power nap. I am getting so much done.
I organized my work station.
And I made a new playlist.
I checked all my highlighters, took a nap.
Now I'm... ready to study.
But didn't you have, like, a study group at the Espresso Farm?
Yeah, we did, but Cappie just screwed us out of it.
Literally.
Sorry.
It's like he'll just fall into bed with any girl who asks.
OK, seriously, you're sounding a little ex-jealous.
I am not jealous.
I just don't know what his deal is.
He's a great guy, girls are all over him.
If he wanted to, he could find someone awesome to date right now, right here in this room.
OK, Case.
I think that is the problem.
I think that's exactly what he wants. What do you mean?
I didn't think it was a big deal when Rebecca told me, but now you're saying all this stuff about Cappie, it could explain why he's messing around so much.
What could explain it? We were at Gentleman's Choice.
And in a h*m*-induced moment of honesty, Rebecca told me that she and Cappie broke up because...
He still isn't over you. No.
Seriously?
You're going to have to leave now.
What?
Can you grab my stuff? We need to find another place to study.
Yeah. I actually know where we can get a table.
He's still not back?
I'm pretty sure he's not coming back. Not tonight, at least.
Then why is the door unlocked? What about the sign?
That sign lies. Let's go. I'm not leaving without my laptop.
OK, I was just being nice before. I'm not leaving.
OK, wait a minute. You just need your laptop tonight.
You don't need your car, right?
Do you have your keys?
Great. We'll get in there and get your laptop.
I'll give you a boost. OK?
Are you looking up my skirt? Where am I supposed to look?
Did that dog just eat my frickin' key?
What are we doing here?
What if somebody thinks we're trying to steal the test?
Professor Summerfield wouldn't leave it here.
Should we look around just in case?
There.
I rember this now, just not as vidly as the pigeon incident.
I figured this would be about as close as we get to experiencing the real thing in Cyprus.
Rusty, this is amazing.
This projector's top of the line.
It produces a great hi-res image.
No, I meant that you're amazing.
Michelangelo had to bend backwards, painting over his head for four years.
Can you imagine painting upside down?
It's unreal. Think that'll be on the test?
Just take it in, Dale.
OK.
you know that it's rumored that Michelangelo was, like...
Like you are?
Black?
No, man, no. He was gay.
Have you ever seen the statue of David, Dale?
Clearly the guy's about as straight as a circle.
It's him. I should probably take it.
Are you sure?
Too much Irish in that coffee?
It's a delicate balance. I seem to have tipped the scales.
We only have nine more hours until the test.
Or we could move even faster, devoting five minutes per chapter, then take an eight-hour nap.
Read one random sentence off each page.
That's actually tempting.
Great! I'll go first.
"The women's movement in France would never be the same."
There. Now your turn.
What was wrong with Delia?
How come you only went out with her once?
You sure you're not jealous? No, I'm not jealous. Just...
Curious. Right.
It doesn't seem like you're going on too many second dates.
Not since Rebecca, actually. Don't you want a relationship?
Is this the part where you'll lecture me about responsibility and maturity?
No.
It's the part where I ask you if I may have had something to do with your breakup with Rebecca last semester.
Because that's what someone told me.
And I'm hoping it's not true.
You know what?
Forget I even asked.
We have to finish studying.
It's not true, for what it's worth.
Last call.
We can go to the KT house. Unless you have a better idea.
No. OK.
I have to get some coffee or I won't make it.
I'll grab us a couple of lattes and I'll meet you there.
How much longer's she gonna be on that cell phone? I'm losing my study buzz.
If she's not back in five minutes, I'll go out there and I'll see what's going on. Well, you're running out of time.
You know, I'm sure they're just discussing who gets which DVD and all that crap, you know?
These things can be complicated.
They have stuff together? They've been dating, like, a few weeks.
What else could they be talking about? I don't know.
I'm so sorry, guys.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
We had a good talk.
A good talk? What about?
Andy wants to get back together.
Well, fantastic. Now we can leave.
You're hitched again, you two are friends, Michelangelo was gay.
Everybody's happy.
OK, so you're positive that if the dog comes within a few feet of the car, it'll unlock the doors?
It's a SmartKey. It unlocks them as you get close.
It does when it's in my purse. I've never tried it from a dog's stomach.
Well, I guess we'll find out.
Allow me.
Thanks.
Are you sure you wanna do this?
How bad do you need your laptop?
If I don't turn in my paper by 9:00am tomorrow, I get a zero.
That dog looks kind of vicious.
No, no, he's still a puppy.
You're really weird to do this for me.
You're welcome. OK.
Dear.
Nice dog, nice dog. No, no, no!
OK, all right, all right. Down, boy! Down, down!
Oh, my God! He's mad!
Yeah!
That's right!
That's right, dog!
What did you do?
I don't know. Now Cujo's in the car with my laptop.
Well, my study schedule's sh*t to hell.
You probably think I'm an idiot to even consider taking him back.
You know, it's not so much what happened, it's just how long it took.
Dale, why don't we go take a walk? I know a shortcut home.
Earlier tonight he told me he didn't want me to study with you, and I got pissed, which led to this huge fight.
But considering what happened between the three of us, who could really blame him?
He admitted that he was wrong.
You know, he apologized.
And I really do wanna be friends with you, Rusty.
I'm sorry, Jordan. I don't wanna be friends with you.
You don't? I can't.
Because I'm crazy about you.
I liked you the moment I saw you.
But Andy acted first.
And it's been k*lling me ever since.
I fell for you the minute I met you.
Literally, down the stairs, into the slide projector.
I fell for you.
Say something.
I have to go.
I'll see you in class tomorrow, or today or whatever.
Look at him sitting there, pretending to be so harmless.
Digging his filthy claws into my nice leather seats.
He is mocking us.
I think he wants to go for a ride.
Can we please get him out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, OK. So, I'll start running, then you open the door.
The dog will chase me, allowing you to grab your laptop and head in the opposite direction. OK, but what if he comes after me? He's a dog. Dogs like to chase, so he'll go after me.
Probably. That's comforting.
Screw it. Let's just get my laptop and go home.
On three. Yeah.
One...
Two...
Three!
Rebecca, move, move, move!
I just had this washed.
What happened to the plan?
That dog is so fast.
It's just me. I'm sorry, Case.
I thought you were Jeremy. He has this...
... weird thing about watching people sleep.
It's kind of creepy.
No, it's totally creepy.
Boundaries.
Come on, man.
Case, I'm cooked.
Is it too late to take this class pass-fail?
Yes, it is.
Get up. Come on.
Where were we? I think we were in the...
Hey, you guys. OK, stop right there.
I love you, Rus. But we have to study, so whatever advice you want, whatever you need to get off your chest, can it please wait for, like, six more hours?
I told Jordan I didn't wanna be friends with her anymore.
I want the whole bag of chips.
Here, you can have this one.
Andy broke up with her tonight.
Then they got back together.
I was there for the whole thing, trying to be supportive, trying be her friend.
I just couldn't do it. I wasn't there to be her friend.
I was waiting.
I can't wait around. That'll take forever.
It's easier for her to be friends because she's with Andy.
But for me, I just can't sit around hoping...
... she'll pick me.
God, I feel better just getting that off my chest.
Thanks, guys.
Good luck on the test.
Are you waiting?
I told you. It was an accidental boob graze.
I mean, you're bouncing from girl to girl.
You haven't found that special someone. I wanna help.
I'm not talking to you about this stuff, OK?
Why not? We can be friends. Can we?
Why? You still have feelings for me? And you still have feelings for me.
I was just curious. Fine.
Let's just be friends, go upstairs and study.
No. Why?
You trust me, right?
It's just not... Appropriate?
Because you don't trust yourself.
That's not true.
You want to find me a "special someone" so you won't have a choice.
I'm with Max.
He's perfect.
He loves me and I love him.
You know, he gave up grad school for me.
Why can't you find someone else?
Because no other girl in the world compares to you.
Oh, yeah?
Kind of hard to believe, right?
Look, it's...
It's late. We're both tired. Let's just call it a night.
Look. A few hours sleep isn't gonna change anything.
It's old habits. Like having a great time together?
Knowing each other better than we know ourselves? What does that tell you?
That we can't be friends.
Fine.
Then you're right. I guess I do need to move on.
See you around. I just wanna do what's right.
We can't be friends. That's what you say I'm agreeing with you.
Then why are we shouting? You started the shouting!
I just want...
To not waste my time?
I get it.
Well, you're wasting my time now.
Wait. What are we saying?
You said it all.
There's the door.
What time is it?
8:30.
Done, and with the new doggy death angle, it's gonna really stand out. That's great.
Where is he? Is he gone?
If we make a run for it, you still might be able to turn that in on time.
I told you, I just need to get to my laptop.
I don't know what people did before e-mail, and SmartKeys.
Thank God for advancements in technology.
And thanks for staying with me all night.
I hope you don't hate me.
No.
You know, it's too bad that we...
... didn't hang out and get to know each other more.
We could have been friends. Men and women can't be friends.
The possibility of sex always gets in the way.
Well.
Who knows? Maybe there'll be some advancements in that area, too.
OK, now you're hitting on me.
This belong to you?
Why aren't you working?
Why does the world hate me? The world doesn't hate you, Case.
And the espresso machine doesn't care about your feelings.
It's a machine.
So I asked Cappie about the Rebecca thing.
And? Let's just say the Cappie chapter in my life may be over...
... for good.
This is serious. Like Brad leaving Jen serious.
Cappie deserves to find someone else who makes him happy.
Well, that's mature.
And honestly, I was jealous.
Shocker. Yeah.
But as much as I'll miss him, as much as I want to call him and tell him my sleep-deprived brain was clouded by caffeine and midterm anxiety, I know it's the right thing for both of us.
Right?
Are you crying, Ash?
I am so tired.
It's Max. I should...
Hey, Max.
So you guys think we should probably throw a couple of questions just so we don't destroy the curve?
Don't listen to him, Calvin. It's a trick. He's trying to b*at us.
What? All right, people, you have exactly one hour, and there is to be no talking during the exam.
Where's Jordan?
You may begin.
Cheating is a coward's game and will not be played in my classroom.
What? I didn't do anything. The note's from me, sir.
Very well. You fail also.
OK, OK, that's fine.
But I'm probably off the hook, then? I was just an innocent...
We weren't cheating, all right? Just read the note.
"Rusty, "I want to be more than friends. I've fallen for you, too.
"We need to talk.
"X, O, X, O. Smiley face."
Why?
I mean, why now? Why me?
Because...
You're different.
No, different in a good way.
In a new and exciting way.
That's the whole reason I came here in the first place.
Look, I made a mistake, taking the familiar route with Andy, but what you did last night...
It was amazing.
I always liked you, Rusty, but last night, under the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel...
I fell for you.
Quiet down, people!
Thank you.
She fell for me.
Talk to her after the test.