03x02 - Our Fathers
Posted: 12/25/20 07:43
Previously on "Greek":
So what are the g*ns for? It's for "Gotcha".
The Omega Chi's campus assassin game.
The object of the game is to eliminate your assigned target.
Didn't you break your purity pledge at all, ha?
Nope, aren't you proud of me? I had sex with Sheila.
I saw Rebecca having a lot of fun last night.
With who? It was hard to tell, given his face was inside her mouth.
Bex, who's the mystery man? You-re a good kisser.
What are we doing? So without extra credit, D on my midterm, which is 20 percent of our grade, my average is still a low C.
Max told me everything. You admitted you weren't over Casey.
Stop. Cappie and I aren't getting together.
Are we?
It's so quiet in here.
QUIET PLEASE SPITTER'S STUDY ZONE Sorry.
They're making sure I get my studying done.
Oh, totally silent charades.
They've been playing for hours.
Must be nice to have that kind of leisure time, am I right?
BOOBS Between my guitar hero tournaments, my tennis lessons, drinking, gardening... I am booked solid, Spitter.
Is that tea? Blueberry-banana blast punch.
I warmed it up. And you're reading Jodie Picoult?
Oh, it's for "booktacular".
The book club Dale and I started.
We're meeting tomorrow and I'm only halfway through.
The one daughter needs the other daughter's kidney.
Big dilemma, lotta angst.
Sounds like you and my sister.
As far as I know, Casey and I both have two working kidneys.
No, I mean the angst.
No angst on my end. Why would there be?
Yeah, cause you turned her down.
How's she doing?
She's been busy getting ready for ZBZ father/daughter weekend.
Get your grill on.
Jordan invited me.
She wants me to meet her dad.
Already.
I mean, we haven't even... you know.
DOING IT. The dad, ha?
I'm sorry about that, Spitter. Why?
She said he's really nice. Just a regular guy.
I'm supposed to call him Jack.
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be awkward at best.
At worst there's gonna be a heated argument, cold meeting in a stand-off, g*nf*re, one or more people are gonna lose a kidney...
Or perhaps I've been reading too much Jodi Picoult.
Nevermind. Look, it will be fine, ok?
What father wouldn't be thriller to have you date his daughter?
HE'S SCREWED.
Gotcha.
I hate this game. Sorry, Laura.
How do we explain to her that she's not in the sorrority anymore?
It's Beth, I couldn't explain daylight savings time to her.
It's easier to just let her stay.
What if her dad shows up for father/daughter weekend.
Oh, God, the last thing we need is another dad.
Every year all the dads care about is the flag football game.
You'd think they were in NFL fantasy camp, instead of playing a bunch of fratguys.
Not just any athletes, the best athletes on the row.
And Calvin is playing this year, so I made banners for both him and my dad.
You're weird, Ash. Why, cause I like my dad?
Because you text your dad every day, you asked him to be your Facebook friend. That's weird.
My dad basically hasn't talked to me about anything, except the weather, since I got boobs.
Well, with my dad, infidelity with hookers is always a conversational option.
Can't wait! That sucks.
He did just finish a two-weeks intensive therapy retreat.
With colonic cleanse. He claims he's a changed man.
This is all so sad. I tell my dad everything.
He even knew about me and Fisher secretly hooking up before you guys did.
And I told him about you and Evan.
Yeah, Evan. You know, there are other guys on this campus.
Relax, it's not like you kissed someone else's boyfriend this time.
But I have to ask - how the hell did that even happen?
Oh, the usual way... tequila sh*ts, you know how it is.
What do you mean?
Evan hasn't touched tequila since the human-pinata mixer sophomore year.
I mean, I did too many sh*ts and kissed him.
I thought you said he kissed you.
That's what I meant.
So, why're you so nervous, Rebecca?
Not nervous... in a hurry.
Study session later.
Hey, Fisher, looks like Rebecca wants seconds of that sausage.
She can't seem to cram it in her mouth fast enough.
Sorry about that.
O, my God!
Yumm, spicy sausage.
Um, Fisher, can I talk to you for a sec?
Uh, yeah, sure.
I'm kinda busy right now, but... It's just a...
Hi, guys. What's going on?
I just had a question for Fisher.
Really? What's the question? Why do you care what the question is?
I'm a curious person, Casey. So am I.
I'm curious if the two of you have something to hide about the "End of the world" party.
Something disgusting that you should be totally ashamed of.
Of course not. We just kissed, ok?
I can't believe this! I can't believe you would do this to Ashleigh!
It was a total accident. Case, it will never happen again.
We were drunk, Rebecca kissed me and as soon as I realized what was going on, I stopped it.
Wow, way to take responsibility.
And you, after everything that she's done for you.
I know. Oh, my God, I am such a dumbass.
Of course she's never gonna forgive me for this.
No, no, she won't. But I'm not going to tell her.
You're not? I'm just picturing her face, she doesn't deserve to feel that way.
You guys are the ones who deserve to live with this.
Alright, I'm gonna take you at your word just this once that you love Ash and this was just a hude mistake. Thank you.
And I'm going to assume that you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing, and you're not the horrible backstabbing conniving whorebag that this behaviour would imply.
You really expect me to believe you're not going to tell her?
I guess you'll just have to trust me.
What's up with the jazzy ensemble?
I could ask you the same thing.
I gotta an important meeting with my pastor.
Well, I have an important meeting with one Mr.Jack Reed, Jordan's dad.
Just up a little bit, so I don't get judged as some dumb fratguy.
Sometimes it's nice to be judged as harshly as possible.
Do you want to talk to me about something?
No judgements. You know, don't you?
What gave it away? Her slatternly perfume, that I can't get off my clothes. It's like she marked me.
No, no. You smell... the way you always smell. Calvin told me.
He's worried about you, losing your virginity, you know...
Don't say it. I'm sure I'm gonna feel normal and pure again as soon as I talk it out with pastor Dan.
So, good luck with your Judgement Day.
Hey, dad, how was your flight? It's good to see you.
You too. You look great.
I bet you know what I'm gonna say now, right? What's that?
Tyre pressure, Case, your right wheel looks a little low.
You might wanna take care of it. I'm just looking out for you.
So, how's mom?
Good. How is your brother? Good.
I thought I'd drop you back at your hotel.
I have to finish studying up for the barbecue.
Sounds good.
Good.
When's the last time you changed the oil?
I just did.
Can't forget.
You know how important adequate lubrication is?
I mean... for instance, in your mother's vulv... volvo.
What if you broke down in an unsavory neighbourhood?
Pretty girl like you. Like I said, I just got the oil changed.
And I'm an adult, I can take care of ... Stop sign, stop sign!
Almost out of gas...
Jamming, we're jamming with Jesus, too.
He's jamming with us, we're jamming with him.
Jamming.
Brother Kettlewell, are you here to jam for the Lord.
No, I didn't bring my guitar or anything. I actually just... need to talk to you about sin.
Jesus's specialty. That's what he died for.
No, I understand that. So if I sin and ask for forgiveness..
Then you're forgiven. Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, but I had sex. And with my landlady. I mean this is a woman I didn't love, I didn't really like her.
Brother Kettlewell, the gospel according to John says: "If we confess our sins, then He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness."
Then how come I still feel like hell?
Brother Kettlewell, Jesus has done his part.
"So don't blame Him, if you still feel bad."
Come on, sing with me. No, I'm ok.
Jamming, we're jamming with Jesus, too.
We'd like a taxi, please.
Travelling in style, right?
Or Casey didn't want to pick us up.
Hey, dad, do you mind if I try some conversation topics on you.
I wanna be prepared for Jordan's dad.
Oh, you're gonna be fine, Rus.
Remember in high-school your mother always used to say:
"It's too bad Rusty doesn't have a girlfriend or even a date, cause any parent would be thrilled to have him dating their daughter."
Remember those friday nights we all used to hang out?
How we used to say "It's too bad Joan of Arcadia isn't a real girl, because Joe Mantegna and Mary Steenburger would have really liked you."
Oh, that makes me feel so much better.
Cab for Jack Reed. Jack Reed here.
Mr.Reed, I'm Jordan's boyfriend, Rusty.
Oh, Rusty, is that right? How the heck are ya?
Call me Jack. Oh, yeah. This is my dad, Russell.
Russell! Russell, Rusty - sensing a team here.
That's right. We try to make it easy.
Hey, why don't we share a cab over?
Great.
Yeah. Little scrawny for a quarterback, ha?
Must make up for it in speed.
C'mon.
Wait a minute! You have a girlfriend and you're playing football? That's my Rus!
No, he thinks I'm her ex-boyfriend.
Gentlemen, let's move it.
I k*lled again last night.
I hope you mean in the game.
I feel bad because he thought we were going on a date, But then I got him.
I guess he shouldn't have trusted you.
He didn't mind, though. I let him touch my right boobie.
Ash, there's something I have to tell you.
And you're probably gonna hate me and I wish I never did it.
But I didn't kiss Evan at the "End of the world" party.
I kissed Fisher.
What?
That's not funny. Is that a joke?
I wish it were.
You kissed Fisher? I'm sorry, Ash, it was just a kiss.
Oh, yeah, and one more thing - Casey found out about it, but didn't tell you.
She wanted to keep it a secret.
What? What?
Where should I put these buns...
Ashleigh, there's my girl!
Dad!
Ash, hey, listen to me. I can explain this whole situation.
Did you kiss her? Rebecca kissed me and I stopped her.
It will never happen again. Welcome to ZBZ!
Never speak to me again!
Ash, can I just... Will you listen to me for one minute?
Here they are, the BFFs.
Casey and Ashleigh.
Senior year. Wow, what are you guys gonna do without each other?
You think you're gonna be roomies out there in the big bare world?
Oh, I'm not worried, dad. I can't wait for graduation.
OMG, it's be BFF... Fs.
It's like they've all been reading Tiger Bee.
Hey, dad. Hi, Mr.Cartright.
Hey, kid, is that who I think it is?
Uh, if you mean Fisher, nope.
C'mon, dad, let's go get us some food.
Sure is.. um.. clear out today...
There's so much inside of me that needs to come out.
Wasn't that part of your problem before, dad?
I acknowledge that, but the key is constant communication.
That's what I learned on my retreat.
Confessions of past wrongs is the way to make current rights.
Ash, can I talk to you for one... Get you hands off me!
Welcome, Mr.Logan.
You're having a fight with your friend, Becky?
It's nothing I can't handle.
Good. As my art therapist said:
"Friends are the glue that holds our hearts together."
I had a best friend once, then I lured him into a ponzi scheme, bankrupted him, and then I slept with his wife.
I was a bad man, Becky.
Your new-found self-awareness is really annoying.
I acknowledge that.
Hey, Jordi, this guy's a CAF's fan.
Great, first your dad thinks I'm Andy, and now he'd clearly rather you date my gay best friend than me.
Oh, c'mon, you know how dads are. He barely hears a word I say.
I mean, of course I told him about you.
It's just - the only thing that registered in the past two months are the words "football player" and "boyfriend".
Why didn't you tell me he's such a sport's nut?
I could've studied. You said he was just a regular guy.
Aren't most regular guys sport's nuts?
So I'm an irregular guy?
No. He's gonna love you, alright? C'mon.
Hey, Jordi, so Cal here once won the halftime free throw contest.
Isn't that amazing?
And Rusty's his best friend. And Rusty's my best friend.
That's right, Sir.
Let me get that.
Don't worry about that. That's alright. That's good.
You know, the first time I drank tequila I spit it out all over a girl.
Good story. Oh, but Sir, don't think that I'm some kind of reckless underaged drinker.
The reason I spit it out was because it was the first time that I ever drank.
I'm in the Honours Engineering program.
We don't have time to drink. Leave that to the communications major.
Communications major, yes, like my dad!
Dad, we talk about the importance of communication all the time.
So you spit your tequila out all over a girl?
Yes, but as I said, it was the first time that I ever drank.
Why can't you hold your liquor? I thought you were in a frat.
Yeah, I am.
Good. Then I'll see what you got on the field tomorrow, ha?
Oh, no dad, Rusty's too busy studying.
No, I'm not, of course I'm playing.
Great. Hey, let's get you another beer, dad.
Can't wait to see how fast you are off the line.
Yeah, just wait till you see how fast I am on the line.
Make it stop, please, make it stop.
Dale, hey, what happened to "booktacular", I waited for an hour.
Can you believe that after all that she died?
Hey, that's not Jodi Picoult.
Cap, I did the dirty, ok?
I tried to tell you about it before. With the landlady?
Yes, it was magical... ly disgusting.
She made noises like a banshee, it was like a farm animal in late stage labour.
Leaving me feeling as soiled as a veterinarian's glove.
Are you sure that you did it right?
Oh, and now God's mad at you.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean I've asked for forgiveness, so everything should be fine.
Speaking of things that are fine.
Hail Mary!
It's Mary-Elise, actually.
A girl with two names.
And three gods. What's the deal with this Trinity punk?
I know the formalities of the catolic church may seem daunting, but it offers an order path to salvation and helps people find the answers that have eluded them for centuries.
Well, I've heard that you people doll out some pretty harsh punishments for sinners.
Only if you've been very, very bad...
You have no idea.
Why don't the two of you join me at mass tonight?
9 p.m, Saint Ignatius full of sorrow.
Alright, I'll be there, but I'm not doing any kneeling.
Oh, don't worry, I will.
Look, she told me she was 18, but I knew she was lying.
I acknowledge that. Now the other girl from that same...
Sorry, daddy, Casey's gotta yell at me. Gotta go!
Ah, I was gonna make everything polite, but ok.
I assume you're wondering why I told Ashleigh the truth.
Yeah, that was the first thing I was going to yell.
I didn't trust you not to tell her sooner or later.
You're best friends. You tell each other everything.
Ok, and as for the second thing I'm going to yell at you...
Why I dragged you into it? Simple:
Ashleight is kind of the best friend I have. I know I screwed up and may never forgive me, but I figured if she was mad at both of us it will take a little of the heat off me.
I know, right, I'm kinda brilliant.
And kind of evil.
Do you realize what you've done?
Ashleigh isn't like you, or even me.
She's all heart. This could destroy her.
Let's go, girls!
And now the time has come for the ZBZ father/daughter welcome song.
"Oh, daddy, daddy, I once sat on your knee, and I still remember the lessons you taught me.
Like - always eat your vegetables, but first you must give thanks.
Like - never tell a lie, unless you want to die."
Wait, those aren't the words.
"Like - never trust a sl*t who has a big old butt."
I do not have a big old butt.
You do have a big mouth, though.
Alright, let's settle this right now. You and me!
Yeah, b*tch! You're the b*tch!
You're both b*tches!
Anyone else turned on right now?
What? Those aren't my daughters.
We're supposed to be sisters!
Girls, we can't help if you don't tell us what's wrong.
Is it possible that there's something going on that may have put all three of you in bad moods?
Something in the body...
Because I've read that when girls all live together...
No, dad, it's not our periods.
Ok, well, if it's not hormonal, why can't the three of you just talk it out?
Sounds good to me.
I don't have anything to talk to you about.
You kissed my boyfriend and you hid it from me.
Wait, Fisher? Where does he live? I will kick his ass.
Sit down, dad. Ok.
Becky, are you self-sabotaging again?
Please, don't let our unstable relationship soil your ability to form lasting bonds.
Shut up, dad! Your dad is right, Rebecca.
You should learn to keep your hands off other girls' boyfriends.
Oh, like you kept you hands off Cappie during spring break?
You guys were broken up. And we only kissed.
I only kissed Fisher. We weren't broken up!
And you slept with Evan! At least I didn't sleep with a 16-year-old!
OMD.
You know what? I didn't betray either one of you and I never would!
Casey, you think it might be a good idea to go apologize to Ashleigh?
Dad, I'm not a child!
Becky, I beg you, call my hypnotherapist.
You need to deal with your narcissistic attention seeking.
I am not going to be lectured by a man who missed my ballet recital, because he was busy "filibustering" a "legislative aid".
Well, that didn't go as well as could be expected.
Well, for what it's worth, I was thinking the same thing, you know, about the periods and the body...
Women and their emotions.
ROFL I did get the impression that Ashleigh was a bit hyper-emotional.
I mean we are talking about a little kiss.
My daughter is a victim here.
Victim? Do we really need to use politically correct language?
I will use whatever language I want when talking about your daughter betraying my daughter.
Let's just calm down right now!
But Ken you have to admit when it comes to Rebecca the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Right?
And your daughter should've told my daughter the truth!
I have never been talked to in such a displeasing manner.
I suck at football. You better help me think of a way outta this game.
But it's gotta be a manly way.
How about tomorrow you say we went bungee jumping I got injured trying to rescue you. I mean that sounds badass, right?
Ok, don't sweat the game, Rus. Is that some kind of sport's lingo.
Cause if it is, I don't get it.
Every year the fraternity team throws the game.
That means we let the dads win.
Makes them feel young and vital for a brief shiny moment, until they go back to their ageing wives and unrewarding white-collar jobs, counting the days until retirement.
So I just have to help you lose? I can do that!
Yes! Your total lack of athletic powers will fit right in.
Now, pay attention to your girlfriend, instead of obsessing about her dad.
Thanks, Cal.
Rus, Rus! Yeah?
Don't let him see you run.
Ok.
Nice.
I'm such an idiot.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
I find that a little hard to believe right now.
I was drunk and I screwed up big time.
Ash, I didn't even know what was happening until it happened.
Believe me, if there was any way that I could take it back...
Yeah, but that's the problem -
I can't believe you anymore.
When someone cheats on me - then it's over.
Even if it's just a kiss?
I mean I thought we really had something great together.
And we still can.
Please?
How can I trust you again?
I can't.
You know, the adultery was not as nearly distracting as I had imagined.
I'm glad you guys enjoyed mass.
Oh, absolutely.
The priest gave a bunch of hail marys to atone my sin, plus the beads.
Hey, do you have any literature on flogging?
Mary-Elise, we should get outta here.
No, hold on, buddy. I have a few more questions for Mary-Elise.
Hey, you know, what say we get a cup of coffee and just really dig deep into the Vatican, too?
Um, sure. Fantastic.
Uh, excuse me. Sorry.
Listen, I need Mary-Elise tonight. You can have her tomorrow night.
What kind of a sucker do you take me for? No, no.
My spiritual needs outweight you carnal ones. She's mine tonight.
Dale, I know we agree our friendship benefits from avoiding expressions of deep emotions.
Yeah, agreed, I mean, especially due to our shared past with the same woman.
Casey.
Casey Cartright. Right.
Um, but look. The truth is...
I'm in a little bit of a funk, man.
Alright, just go. Yes! Bless you!
Hey, c'mon.
After you...
We have to talk about this.
You're my best friend. I hate to see you hurt like this.
This is why I didn't tell you. I was trying to protect you.
You're such a good person... Yeah, I am a good person.
That doesn't make me incapable of handling this.
I know that.
Ash, I was just... I dumped Fisher.
Really?
Are you sure? It was just a kiss.
Case, I'm not exactly like you.
I guess I'm not cool enough to stay with my boyfriend, after he cheats on me.
It's not always that simple. For me it is.
Gotcha!
I have one question.
Yeah, I have some in the drawer.
What? Really?
Ok.
But I actually wanted to ask you - if you think your dad was impressed that I was gonna play in the game tomorrow?
Seriously, I don't want to talk about my dad right now.
Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Hey, sweetie. I think I left my jacket...
What the hell are you doing to my daughter?
Sir...
I just wanna apologize again for last night.
Ok.
I know what it looked like, but I was just giving her a back rub.
I know exactly what you were rubbing!
How about we settle this on the field, Cartright?
I'm fine right here.
What's the matter, you scared?
Cause I'm about to bring the pain.
Sounds good.
Can't wait!
Good.
I'll see you out there.
Ready for the big game?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Hey, sorry for buddying in yesterday, I know it was none of my business...
You know, if you curl your fingers up, as you cut, you're less likely to get nicked.
Just might wanna be careful.
I am careful.
Why is it so hard for you to trust that I know what I'm doing?
You'll always be my little girl.
If I'd my way, I'd always be able to protect you just as easily as I could back then.
But the good thing about growing up is that you taught me to protect myself and when you baby me like that it makes me feel like you think I'm an idiot.
Of course I don't think you're an idiot.
But you make me feel that way.
I'm just trying to protect you.
Like you were trying to protect Ashleigh.
Ah, what a wonderful world!
If I was one of those douche-bags who say "I'm high on life", I'd say it right now.
Hey, have you talked to Mary-Elise today?
I left her a few messages.
I think I got a bumped set of beads.
I was rubbing these up and down all night and I feel just as impure as before.
You know, now that you mention it, I'm waiting for the lovely M.E. to return my phonecalls as well.
Speaking of the angel...
Should I buy a hair-shirt? How about a date tonight?
Excuse me for a moment.
You're kinda smothering me.
Both of you.
You're cute. Thank you.
But leaving me five messages since last night that's creepy.
As for you messages, Dale, I didn't appreciate your threatening tone.
Maybe you're just not catholic material.
Grown men on 3.
1, 2, 3, Grown men!!!
Ready, set...
Give me it, c'mon!
I'm open!
What are you doing?
Time-out.
What the hell was that?
Are you blind?
Didn't you see I'm here? I'm wide open!
This game is gonna be harder to throw than we thought.
C'mon, c'mon guys.
It's alright.
Why didn't you throw it to me? I was wide open.
Yeah, wide open like your daughter.
Let's just focus on the game.
Don't patronize me, Cartright!
We're gonna do the same play again and it's gonna work.
Grown men on 3.
1, 2, 3. Grown men!
Let's go, boys.
Can I sit with you?
Maybe.
I should've given you more credit.
Of course you can take care of yourself and of course I should've told you about Fisher.
I'm so sorry, Ash.
It's ok.
You meant well.
And I kinda need my best friend back, especially since I just had my heart broken and all...
Oh, Ash, come here!
Are we making up now?
We're still mad at you! We're still mad at you!
Nice one, dad!
Better luck next time, Rus!
Eat my dust, Cartright!
Rusty, no! It's flag football!
Oh, my God!
Eat that, Jack!
Is it over? Did we win?
Rusty, what did you do? What?
Oh, my back!
He freakin' tackled me.
I know, I saw. Oh, God, what did he do?
Hey, may I have a pitcher of beer, thanks. Right away.
What are you doing here?
You're not a ZBZ dad.
Not that I know of.
Who won the game?
It was called, on account of a medical emergency.
Which, fortunately, was just a pulled muscle.
Jordan's dad is resting comfortably being attented to by his daughter.
Rusty tackled him.
I warned him.
Hemingway... At Dobler's?
New book club selection. I'm behind.
I keep finding myself preoccupied.
There you go.
We read that in my freshman lit class.
Tragic love story... some would say.
Yeah, they just, they couldn't seem to get the timing right.
And then he got his jug blown off in World w*r I.
See you, Cap.
So do you think Jordan will break with me now that I almost k*lled her dad?
When I offered to come with them back to his hotel, she said that wasn't a good idea.
Trying to impress a girl's father is a losing battle.
It's hard not to be the only man in your daughter's life.
And it's hard to admit they need someone else, not you.
Why do you think I hated all of Casey's high-school boyfriends?
So, are you saying that Jack is probably just as scared of me as I am of him?
Well, you did almost paralyze him, son.
Yeah.
That wasn't good.
I would've thrown it to you, but you wouldn't have caught it.
It's not about catching it, it's about why you didn't throw it.
Because you wouldn't have caught it. You got on sandals.
You're both wrong.
This is ridiculous.
You guys are all adults.
Whatever's going on between Ashleigh, Rebecca and me, doesn't involve you.
And didn't the fact that one of your own got taken down by Rusty remind you that you're not getting any younger and life is too short to hold a grudge?
Dad, would you like to start?
Is there anything you wanna say to Mr.Logan and Mr.Howard?
No hard feelings? Well, I'd like to apologize if I insinuated that your daughter is a hook...
Hey, there is no need to expand on that. Ok, ok.
Apology acknowledged.
So, I don't suppose I could convince you that life is too short to hold a grudge? Against me... for one little kiss?
Nope.
I acknowledge that.
Have I walked into a trans-gendered Cathy comic?
I guess you're breaking up with catholicism.
Don't sweat it. It was a rebound religion anyway.
Just like Mary-Elise was a rebound girl for me.
Who are you rebounding from?
You know our woman in common?
I think I wasn't over her.
Even though I had the chance to be with her and I didn't take it.
That is so Casey, you know?
She makes you love her and then she turns away.
I am in a funk.
And I guess book clubs and tennis, and videogames, beer and even the lovely and treasurous Mary-Elise aren't gonna make it any easier.
Word.
But the important thing is there's plenty of other girls and gods in the sea.
You know, I don't want another god, I just want mine back.
I hear you.
I saved one of your favourites.
Red velvet.
I'm sorry I almost paralyzed your dad.
He's fine now.
You might've done him a favour, actually.
Cause he promised to finally go to that physical.
He should thank me, then. Yeah, don't push it.
Do you mind that your dad doesn't like me?
I think that I like you enough for the both of us.
Your dad isn't gonna stop by, is he? I don't think so, but...
Let's just wait till he goes back to Columbus.
Yeah.
So, ready to get your old dad outta your hair?
I'm gonna miss you, dad.
I had a lot of fun with you this weekend.
Even with all the craziness.
Me too.
Not that it's any of my business, but did you figure everything out with your galpals?
More or less.
You know - college, lots of drama.
Well, don't let the drama get you down.
Ever since you were a little girl, you've always been able to handle anything.
Now that you're not a little girl anymore, the world better look out for my daughter.
Thanks, dad, it's nice you think that about me.
It's the truth.
Now, you're sure you changed that oil? Dad!!!
Just checking!
Love you. Love you too.
Maintenance required. Check oil.
Crap!
So what are the g*ns for? It's for "Gotcha".
The Omega Chi's campus assassin game.
The object of the game is to eliminate your assigned target.
Didn't you break your purity pledge at all, ha?
Nope, aren't you proud of me? I had sex with Sheila.
I saw Rebecca having a lot of fun last night.
With who? It was hard to tell, given his face was inside her mouth.
Bex, who's the mystery man? You-re a good kisser.
What are we doing? So without extra credit, D on my midterm, which is 20 percent of our grade, my average is still a low C.
Max told me everything. You admitted you weren't over Casey.
Stop. Cappie and I aren't getting together.
Are we?
It's so quiet in here.
QUIET PLEASE SPITTER'S STUDY ZONE Sorry.
They're making sure I get my studying done.
Oh, totally silent charades.
They've been playing for hours.
Must be nice to have that kind of leisure time, am I right?
BOOBS Between my guitar hero tournaments, my tennis lessons, drinking, gardening... I am booked solid, Spitter.
Is that tea? Blueberry-banana blast punch.
I warmed it up. And you're reading Jodie Picoult?
Oh, it's for "booktacular".
The book club Dale and I started.
We're meeting tomorrow and I'm only halfway through.
The one daughter needs the other daughter's kidney.
Big dilemma, lotta angst.
Sounds like you and my sister.
As far as I know, Casey and I both have two working kidneys.
No, I mean the angst.
No angst on my end. Why would there be?
Yeah, cause you turned her down.
How's she doing?
She's been busy getting ready for ZBZ father/daughter weekend.
Get your grill on.
Jordan invited me.
She wants me to meet her dad.
Already.
I mean, we haven't even... you know.
DOING IT. The dad, ha?
I'm sorry about that, Spitter. Why?
She said he's really nice. Just a regular guy.
I'm supposed to call him Jack.
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be awkward at best.
At worst there's gonna be a heated argument, cold meeting in a stand-off, g*nf*re, one or more people are gonna lose a kidney...
Or perhaps I've been reading too much Jodi Picoult.
Nevermind. Look, it will be fine, ok?
What father wouldn't be thriller to have you date his daughter?
HE'S SCREWED.
Gotcha.
I hate this game. Sorry, Laura.
How do we explain to her that she's not in the sorrority anymore?
It's Beth, I couldn't explain daylight savings time to her.
It's easier to just let her stay.
What if her dad shows up for father/daughter weekend.
Oh, God, the last thing we need is another dad.
Every year all the dads care about is the flag football game.
You'd think they were in NFL fantasy camp, instead of playing a bunch of fratguys.
Not just any athletes, the best athletes on the row.
And Calvin is playing this year, so I made banners for both him and my dad.
You're weird, Ash. Why, cause I like my dad?
Because you text your dad every day, you asked him to be your Facebook friend. That's weird.
My dad basically hasn't talked to me about anything, except the weather, since I got boobs.
Well, with my dad, infidelity with hookers is always a conversational option.
Can't wait! That sucks.
He did just finish a two-weeks intensive therapy retreat.
With colonic cleanse. He claims he's a changed man.
This is all so sad. I tell my dad everything.
He even knew about me and Fisher secretly hooking up before you guys did.
And I told him about you and Evan.
Yeah, Evan. You know, there are other guys on this campus.
Relax, it's not like you kissed someone else's boyfriend this time.
But I have to ask - how the hell did that even happen?
Oh, the usual way... tequila sh*ts, you know how it is.
What do you mean?
Evan hasn't touched tequila since the human-pinata mixer sophomore year.
I mean, I did too many sh*ts and kissed him.
I thought you said he kissed you.
That's what I meant.
So, why're you so nervous, Rebecca?
Not nervous... in a hurry.
Study session later.
Hey, Fisher, looks like Rebecca wants seconds of that sausage.
She can't seem to cram it in her mouth fast enough.
Sorry about that.
O, my God!
Yumm, spicy sausage.
Um, Fisher, can I talk to you for a sec?
Uh, yeah, sure.
I'm kinda busy right now, but... It's just a...
Hi, guys. What's going on?
I just had a question for Fisher.
Really? What's the question? Why do you care what the question is?
I'm a curious person, Casey. So am I.
I'm curious if the two of you have something to hide about the "End of the world" party.
Something disgusting that you should be totally ashamed of.
Of course not. We just kissed, ok?
I can't believe this! I can't believe you would do this to Ashleigh!
It was a total accident. Case, it will never happen again.
We were drunk, Rebecca kissed me and as soon as I realized what was going on, I stopped it.
Wow, way to take responsibility.
And you, after everything that she's done for you.
I know. Oh, my God, I am such a dumbass.
Of course she's never gonna forgive me for this.
No, no, she won't. But I'm not going to tell her.
You're not? I'm just picturing her face, she doesn't deserve to feel that way.
You guys are the ones who deserve to live with this.
Alright, I'm gonna take you at your word just this once that you love Ash and this was just a hude mistake. Thank you.
And I'm going to assume that you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing, and you're not the horrible backstabbing conniving whorebag that this behaviour would imply.
You really expect me to believe you're not going to tell her?
I guess you'll just have to trust me.
What's up with the jazzy ensemble?
I could ask you the same thing.
I gotta an important meeting with my pastor.
Well, I have an important meeting with one Mr.Jack Reed, Jordan's dad.
Just up a little bit, so I don't get judged as some dumb fratguy.
Sometimes it's nice to be judged as harshly as possible.
Do you want to talk to me about something?
No judgements. You know, don't you?
What gave it away? Her slatternly perfume, that I can't get off my clothes. It's like she marked me.
No, no. You smell... the way you always smell. Calvin told me.
He's worried about you, losing your virginity, you know...
Don't say it. I'm sure I'm gonna feel normal and pure again as soon as I talk it out with pastor Dan.
So, good luck with your Judgement Day.
Hey, dad, how was your flight? It's good to see you.
You too. You look great.
I bet you know what I'm gonna say now, right? What's that?
Tyre pressure, Case, your right wheel looks a little low.
You might wanna take care of it. I'm just looking out for you.
So, how's mom?
Good. How is your brother? Good.
I thought I'd drop you back at your hotel.
I have to finish studying up for the barbecue.
Sounds good.
Good.
When's the last time you changed the oil?
I just did.
Can't forget.
You know how important adequate lubrication is?
I mean... for instance, in your mother's vulv... volvo.
What if you broke down in an unsavory neighbourhood?
Pretty girl like you. Like I said, I just got the oil changed.
And I'm an adult, I can take care of ... Stop sign, stop sign!
Almost out of gas...
Jamming, we're jamming with Jesus, too.
He's jamming with us, we're jamming with him.
Jamming.
Brother Kettlewell, are you here to jam for the Lord.
No, I didn't bring my guitar or anything. I actually just... need to talk to you about sin.
Jesus's specialty. That's what he died for.
No, I understand that. So if I sin and ask for forgiveness..
Then you're forgiven. Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, but I had sex. And with my landlady. I mean this is a woman I didn't love, I didn't really like her.
Brother Kettlewell, the gospel according to John says: "If we confess our sins, then He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness."
Then how come I still feel like hell?
Brother Kettlewell, Jesus has done his part.
"So don't blame Him, if you still feel bad."
Come on, sing with me. No, I'm ok.
Jamming, we're jamming with Jesus, too.
We'd like a taxi, please.
Travelling in style, right?
Or Casey didn't want to pick us up.
Hey, dad, do you mind if I try some conversation topics on you.
I wanna be prepared for Jordan's dad.
Oh, you're gonna be fine, Rus.
Remember in high-school your mother always used to say:
"It's too bad Rusty doesn't have a girlfriend or even a date, cause any parent would be thrilled to have him dating their daughter."
Remember those friday nights we all used to hang out?
How we used to say "It's too bad Joan of Arcadia isn't a real girl, because Joe Mantegna and Mary Steenburger would have really liked you."
Oh, that makes me feel so much better.
Cab for Jack Reed. Jack Reed here.
Mr.Reed, I'm Jordan's boyfriend, Rusty.
Oh, Rusty, is that right? How the heck are ya?
Call me Jack. Oh, yeah. This is my dad, Russell.
Russell! Russell, Rusty - sensing a team here.
That's right. We try to make it easy.
Hey, why don't we share a cab over?
Great.
Yeah. Little scrawny for a quarterback, ha?
Must make up for it in speed.
C'mon.
Wait a minute! You have a girlfriend and you're playing football? That's my Rus!
No, he thinks I'm her ex-boyfriend.
Gentlemen, let's move it.
I k*lled again last night.
I hope you mean in the game.
I feel bad because he thought we were going on a date, But then I got him.
I guess he shouldn't have trusted you.
He didn't mind, though. I let him touch my right boobie.
Ash, there's something I have to tell you.
And you're probably gonna hate me and I wish I never did it.
But I didn't kiss Evan at the "End of the world" party.
I kissed Fisher.
What?
That's not funny. Is that a joke?
I wish it were.
You kissed Fisher? I'm sorry, Ash, it was just a kiss.
Oh, yeah, and one more thing - Casey found out about it, but didn't tell you.
She wanted to keep it a secret.
What? What?
Where should I put these buns...
Ashleigh, there's my girl!
Dad!
Ash, hey, listen to me. I can explain this whole situation.
Did you kiss her? Rebecca kissed me and I stopped her.
It will never happen again. Welcome to ZBZ!
Never speak to me again!
Ash, can I just... Will you listen to me for one minute?
Here they are, the BFFs.
Casey and Ashleigh.
Senior year. Wow, what are you guys gonna do without each other?
You think you're gonna be roomies out there in the big bare world?
Oh, I'm not worried, dad. I can't wait for graduation.
OMG, it's be BFF... Fs.
It's like they've all been reading Tiger Bee.
Hey, dad. Hi, Mr.Cartright.
Hey, kid, is that who I think it is?
Uh, if you mean Fisher, nope.
C'mon, dad, let's go get us some food.
Sure is.. um.. clear out today...
There's so much inside of me that needs to come out.
Wasn't that part of your problem before, dad?
I acknowledge that, but the key is constant communication.
That's what I learned on my retreat.
Confessions of past wrongs is the way to make current rights.
Ash, can I talk to you for one... Get you hands off me!
Welcome, Mr.Logan.
You're having a fight with your friend, Becky?
It's nothing I can't handle.
Good. As my art therapist said:
"Friends are the glue that holds our hearts together."
I had a best friend once, then I lured him into a ponzi scheme, bankrupted him, and then I slept with his wife.
I was a bad man, Becky.
Your new-found self-awareness is really annoying.
I acknowledge that.
Hey, Jordi, this guy's a CAF's fan.
Great, first your dad thinks I'm Andy, and now he'd clearly rather you date my gay best friend than me.
Oh, c'mon, you know how dads are. He barely hears a word I say.
I mean, of course I told him about you.
It's just - the only thing that registered in the past two months are the words "football player" and "boyfriend".
Why didn't you tell me he's such a sport's nut?
I could've studied. You said he was just a regular guy.
Aren't most regular guys sport's nuts?
So I'm an irregular guy?
No. He's gonna love you, alright? C'mon.
Hey, Jordi, so Cal here once won the halftime free throw contest.
Isn't that amazing?
And Rusty's his best friend. And Rusty's my best friend.
That's right, Sir.
Let me get that.
Don't worry about that. That's alright. That's good.
You know, the first time I drank tequila I spit it out all over a girl.
Good story. Oh, but Sir, don't think that I'm some kind of reckless underaged drinker.
The reason I spit it out was because it was the first time that I ever drank.
I'm in the Honours Engineering program.
We don't have time to drink. Leave that to the communications major.
Communications major, yes, like my dad!
Dad, we talk about the importance of communication all the time.
So you spit your tequila out all over a girl?
Yes, but as I said, it was the first time that I ever drank.
Why can't you hold your liquor? I thought you were in a frat.
Yeah, I am.
Good. Then I'll see what you got on the field tomorrow, ha?
Oh, no dad, Rusty's too busy studying.
No, I'm not, of course I'm playing.
Great. Hey, let's get you another beer, dad.
Can't wait to see how fast you are off the line.
Yeah, just wait till you see how fast I am on the line.
Make it stop, please, make it stop.
Dale, hey, what happened to "booktacular", I waited for an hour.
Can you believe that after all that she died?
Hey, that's not Jodi Picoult.
Cap, I did the dirty, ok?
I tried to tell you about it before. With the landlady?
Yes, it was magical... ly disgusting.
She made noises like a banshee, it was like a farm animal in late stage labour.
Leaving me feeling as soiled as a veterinarian's glove.
Are you sure that you did it right?
Oh, and now God's mad at you.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean I've asked for forgiveness, so everything should be fine.
Speaking of things that are fine.
Hail Mary!
It's Mary-Elise, actually.
A girl with two names.
And three gods. What's the deal with this Trinity punk?
I know the formalities of the catolic church may seem daunting, but it offers an order path to salvation and helps people find the answers that have eluded them for centuries.
Well, I've heard that you people doll out some pretty harsh punishments for sinners.
Only if you've been very, very bad...
You have no idea.
Why don't the two of you join me at mass tonight?
9 p.m, Saint Ignatius full of sorrow.
Alright, I'll be there, but I'm not doing any kneeling.
Oh, don't worry, I will.
Look, she told me she was 18, but I knew she was lying.
I acknowledge that. Now the other girl from that same...
Sorry, daddy, Casey's gotta yell at me. Gotta go!
Ah, I was gonna make everything polite, but ok.
I assume you're wondering why I told Ashleigh the truth.
Yeah, that was the first thing I was going to yell.
I didn't trust you not to tell her sooner or later.
You're best friends. You tell each other everything.
Ok, and as for the second thing I'm going to yell at you...
Why I dragged you into it? Simple:
Ashleight is kind of the best friend I have. I know I screwed up and may never forgive me, but I figured if she was mad at both of us it will take a little of the heat off me.
I know, right, I'm kinda brilliant.
And kind of evil.
Do you realize what you've done?
Ashleigh isn't like you, or even me.
She's all heart. This could destroy her.
Let's go, girls!
And now the time has come for the ZBZ father/daughter welcome song.
"Oh, daddy, daddy, I once sat on your knee, and I still remember the lessons you taught me.
Like - always eat your vegetables, but first you must give thanks.
Like - never tell a lie, unless you want to die."
Wait, those aren't the words.
"Like - never trust a sl*t who has a big old butt."
I do not have a big old butt.
You do have a big mouth, though.
Alright, let's settle this right now. You and me!
Yeah, b*tch! You're the b*tch!
You're both b*tches!
Anyone else turned on right now?
What? Those aren't my daughters.
We're supposed to be sisters!
Girls, we can't help if you don't tell us what's wrong.
Is it possible that there's something going on that may have put all three of you in bad moods?
Something in the body...
Because I've read that when girls all live together...
No, dad, it's not our periods.
Ok, well, if it's not hormonal, why can't the three of you just talk it out?
Sounds good to me.
I don't have anything to talk to you about.
You kissed my boyfriend and you hid it from me.
Wait, Fisher? Where does he live? I will kick his ass.
Sit down, dad. Ok.
Becky, are you self-sabotaging again?
Please, don't let our unstable relationship soil your ability to form lasting bonds.
Shut up, dad! Your dad is right, Rebecca.
You should learn to keep your hands off other girls' boyfriends.
Oh, like you kept you hands off Cappie during spring break?
You guys were broken up. And we only kissed.
I only kissed Fisher. We weren't broken up!
And you slept with Evan! At least I didn't sleep with a 16-year-old!
OMD.
You know what? I didn't betray either one of you and I never would!
Casey, you think it might be a good idea to go apologize to Ashleigh?
Dad, I'm not a child!
Becky, I beg you, call my hypnotherapist.
You need to deal with your narcissistic attention seeking.
I am not going to be lectured by a man who missed my ballet recital, because he was busy "filibustering" a "legislative aid".
Well, that didn't go as well as could be expected.
Well, for what it's worth, I was thinking the same thing, you know, about the periods and the body...
Women and their emotions.
ROFL I did get the impression that Ashleigh was a bit hyper-emotional.
I mean we are talking about a little kiss.
My daughter is a victim here.
Victim? Do we really need to use politically correct language?
I will use whatever language I want when talking about your daughter betraying my daughter.
Let's just calm down right now!
But Ken you have to admit when it comes to Rebecca the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Right?
And your daughter should've told my daughter the truth!
I have never been talked to in such a displeasing manner.
I suck at football. You better help me think of a way outta this game.
But it's gotta be a manly way.
How about tomorrow you say we went bungee jumping I got injured trying to rescue you. I mean that sounds badass, right?
Ok, don't sweat the game, Rus. Is that some kind of sport's lingo.
Cause if it is, I don't get it.
Every year the fraternity team throws the game.
That means we let the dads win.
Makes them feel young and vital for a brief shiny moment, until they go back to their ageing wives and unrewarding white-collar jobs, counting the days until retirement.
So I just have to help you lose? I can do that!
Yes! Your total lack of athletic powers will fit right in.
Now, pay attention to your girlfriend, instead of obsessing about her dad.
Thanks, Cal.
Rus, Rus! Yeah?
Don't let him see you run.
Ok.
Nice.
I'm such an idiot.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
I find that a little hard to believe right now.
I was drunk and I screwed up big time.
Ash, I didn't even know what was happening until it happened.
Believe me, if there was any way that I could take it back...
Yeah, but that's the problem -
I can't believe you anymore.
When someone cheats on me - then it's over.
Even if it's just a kiss?
I mean I thought we really had something great together.
And we still can.
Please?
How can I trust you again?
I can't.
You know, the adultery was not as nearly distracting as I had imagined.
I'm glad you guys enjoyed mass.
Oh, absolutely.
The priest gave a bunch of hail marys to atone my sin, plus the beads.
Hey, do you have any literature on flogging?
Mary-Elise, we should get outta here.
No, hold on, buddy. I have a few more questions for Mary-Elise.
Hey, you know, what say we get a cup of coffee and just really dig deep into the Vatican, too?
Um, sure. Fantastic.
Uh, excuse me. Sorry.
Listen, I need Mary-Elise tonight. You can have her tomorrow night.
What kind of a sucker do you take me for? No, no.
My spiritual needs outweight you carnal ones. She's mine tonight.
Dale, I know we agree our friendship benefits from avoiding expressions of deep emotions.
Yeah, agreed, I mean, especially due to our shared past with the same woman.
Casey.
Casey Cartright. Right.
Um, but look. The truth is...
I'm in a little bit of a funk, man.
Alright, just go. Yes! Bless you!
Hey, c'mon.
After you...
We have to talk about this.
You're my best friend. I hate to see you hurt like this.
This is why I didn't tell you. I was trying to protect you.
You're such a good person... Yeah, I am a good person.
That doesn't make me incapable of handling this.
I know that.
Ash, I was just... I dumped Fisher.
Really?
Are you sure? It was just a kiss.
Case, I'm not exactly like you.
I guess I'm not cool enough to stay with my boyfriend, after he cheats on me.
It's not always that simple. For me it is.
Gotcha!
I have one question.
Yeah, I have some in the drawer.
What? Really?
Ok.
But I actually wanted to ask you - if you think your dad was impressed that I was gonna play in the game tomorrow?
Seriously, I don't want to talk about my dad right now.
Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Hey, sweetie. I think I left my jacket...
What the hell are you doing to my daughter?
Sir...
I just wanna apologize again for last night.
Ok.
I know what it looked like, but I was just giving her a back rub.
I know exactly what you were rubbing!
How about we settle this on the field, Cartright?
I'm fine right here.
What's the matter, you scared?
Cause I'm about to bring the pain.
Sounds good.
Can't wait!
Good.
I'll see you out there.
Ready for the big game?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Hey, sorry for buddying in yesterday, I know it was none of my business...
You know, if you curl your fingers up, as you cut, you're less likely to get nicked.
Just might wanna be careful.
I am careful.
Why is it so hard for you to trust that I know what I'm doing?
You'll always be my little girl.
If I'd my way, I'd always be able to protect you just as easily as I could back then.
But the good thing about growing up is that you taught me to protect myself and when you baby me like that it makes me feel like you think I'm an idiot.
Of course I don't think you're an idiot.
But you make me feel that way.
I'm just trying to protect you.
Like you were trying to protect Ashleigh.
Ah, what a wonderful world!
If I was one of those douche-bags who say "I'm high on life", I'd say it right now.
Hey, have you talked to Mary-Elise today?
I left her a few messages.
I think I got a bumped set of beads.
I was rubbing these up and down all night and I feel just as impure as before.
You know, now that you mention it, I'm waiting for the lovely M.E. to return my phonecalls as well.
Speaking of the angel...
Should I buy a hair-shirt? How about a date tonight?
Excuse me for a moment.
You're kinda smothering me.
Both of you.
You're cute. Thank you.
But leaving me five messages since last night that's creepy.
As for you messages, Dale, I didn't appreciate your threatening tone.
Maybe you're just not catholic material.
Grown men on 3.
1, 2, 3, Grown men!!!
Ready, set...
Give me it, c'mon!
I'm open!
What are you doing?
Time-out.
What the hell was that?
Are you blind?
Didn't you see I'm here? I'm wide open!
This game is gonna be harder to throw than we thought.
C'mon, c'mon guys.
It's alright.
Why didn't you throw it to me? I was wide open.
Yeah, wide open like your daughter.
Let's just focus on the game.
Don't patronize me, Cartright!
We're gonna do the same play again and it's gonna work.
Grown men on 3.
1, 2, 3. Grown men!
Let's go, boys.
Can I sit with you?
Maybe.
I should've given you more credit.
Of course you can take care of yourself and of course I should've told you about Fisher.
I'm so sorry, Ash.
It's ok.
You meant well.
And I kinda need my best friend back, especially since I just had my heart broken and all...
Oh, Ash, come here!
Are we making up now?
We're still mad at you! We're still mad at you!
Nice one, dad!
Better luck next time, Rus!
Eat my dust, Cartright!
Rusty, no! It's flag football!
Oh, my God!
Eat that, Jack!
Is it over? Did we win?
Rusty, what did you do? What?
Oh, my back!
He freakin' tackled me.
I know, I saw. Oh, God, what did he do?
Hey, may I have a pitcher of beer, thanks. Right away.
What are you doing here?
You're not a ZBZ dad.
Not that I know of.
Who won the game?
It was called, on account of a medical emergency.
Which, fortunately, was just a pulled muscle.
Jordan's dad is resting comfortably being attented to by his daughter.
Rusty tackled him.
I warned him.
Hemingway... At Dobler's?
New book club selection. I'm behind.
I keep finding myself preoccupied.
There you go.
We read that in my freshman lit class.
Tragic love story... some would say.
Yeah, they just, they couldn't seem to get the timing right.
And then he got his jug blown off in World w*r I.
See you, Cap.
So do you think Jordan will break with me now that I almost k*lled her dad?
When I offered to come with them back to his hotel, she said that wasn't a good idea.
Trying to impress a girl's father is a losing battle.
It's hard not to be the only man in your daughter's life.
And it's hard to admit they need someone else, not you.
Why do you think I hated all of Casey's high-school boyfriends?
So, are you saying that Jack is probably just as scared of me as I am of him?
Well, you did almost paralyze him, son.
Yeah.
That wasn't good.
I would've thrown it to you, but you wouldn't have caught it.
It's not about catching it, it's about why you didn't throw it.
Because you wouldn't have caught it. You got on sandals.
You're both wrong.
This is ridiculous.
You guys are all adults.
Whatever's going on between Ashleigh, Rebecca and me, doesn't involve you.
And didn't the fact that one of your own got taken down by Rusty remind you that you're not getting any younger and life is too short to hold a grudge?
Dad, would you like to start?
Is there anything you wanna say to Mr.Logan and Mr.Howard?
No hard feelings? Well, I'd like to apologize if I insinuated that your daughter is a hook...
Hey, there is no need to expand on that. Ok, ok.
Apology acknowledged.
So, I don't suppose I could convince you that life is too short to hold a grudge? Against me... for one little kiss?
Nope.
I acknowledge that.
Have I walked into a trans-gendered Cathy comic?
I guess you're breaking up with catholicism.
Don't sweat it. It was a rebound religion anyway.
Just like Mary-Elise was a rebound girl for me.
Who are you rebounding from?
You know our woman in common?
I think I wasn't over her.
Even though I had the chance to be with her and I didn't take it.
That is so Casey, you know?
She makes you love her and then she turns away.
I am in a funk.
And I guess book clubs and tennis, and videogames, beer and even the lovely and treasurous Mary-Elise aren't gonna make it any easier.
Word.
But the important thing is there's plenty of other girls and gods in the sea.
You know, I don't want another god, I just want mine back.
I hear you.
I saved one of your favourites.
Red velvet.
I'm sorry I almost paralyzed your dad.
He's fine now.
You might've done him a favour, actually.
Cause he promised to finally go to that physical.
He should thank me, then. Yeah, don't push it.
Do you mind that your dad doesn't like me?
I think that I like you enough for the both of us.
Your dad isn't gonna stop by, is he? I don't think so, but...
Let's just wait till he goes back to Columbus.
Yeah.
So, ready to get your old dad outta your hair?
I'm gonna miss you, dad.
I had a lot of fun with you this weekend.
Even with all the craziness.
Me too.
Not that it's any of my business, but did you figure everything out with your galpals?
More or less.
You know - college, lots of drama.
Well, don't let the drama get you down.
Ever since you were a little girl, you've always been able to handle anything.
Now that you're not a little girl anymore, the world better look out for my daughter.
Thanks, dad, it's nice you think that about me.
It's the truth.
Now, you're sure you changed that oil? Dad!!!
Just checking!
Love you. Love you too.
Maintenance required. Check oil.
Crap!